1
00:00:01,027 --> 00:00:03,693
I really didn't think I was going to have
a good time, but I did. Totally did.
2
00:00:03,728 --> 00:00:06,885
I love camping.
Anything can happen.
3
00:00:07,157 --> 00:00:10,026
It wasn't camping, it was more of
a wilderness retreat.
4
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:11,643
- Morning.
- Michael.
5
00:00:11,665 --> 00:00:14,803
Ryan invited some of the branch managers
and Toby into the woods
6
00:00:14,838 --> 00:00:16,633
for a "get to know you" weekend.
7
00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:19,537
Michael wasn't invited.
8
00:00:20,655 --> 00:00:23,748
Apparently they already knew everything
they needed to know about him.
9
00:00:24,397 --> 00:00:25,981
Did you sleep in cabins?
10
00:00:26,016 --> 00:00:29,823
Under the stars. It was really
beautiful, you should come.
11
00:00:29,958 --> 00:00:32,254
Bob and I
took rock climbing lessons once.
12
00:00:35,958 --> 00:00:38,996
Michael wasn't invited
on Ryan's camping trip.
13
00:00:39,031 --> 00:00:41,548
Toby went,
but Michael didn't go.
14
00:00:41,744 --> 00:00:43,702
He wasn't invited.
15
00:00:43,737 --> 00:00:46,378
- Who went?
- Me, Dan from Buffalo,
16
00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:50,173
Mark Gism, Jeff from Albany
and Ryan, obviously.
17
00:00:50,238 --> 00:00:52,314
Made so many s'mores,
that I finally had to say,
18
00:00:52,739 --> 00:00:55,705
"No more s'mores,
no more s'mores."
19
00:00:59,929 --> 00:01:03,733
Ryan invited me to go
on his wilderness adventure retreat.
20
00:01:03,868 --> 00:01:04,953
It was this amazing
21
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:08,445
beautiful experience...
- Hey, nobody cares.
22
00:01:08,874 --> 00:01:13,185
Nobody cares. I need that room
at some point, so just,
23
00:01:13,320 --> 00:01:14,581
wrap it up.
24
00:01:15,047 --> 00:01:17,111
Michael wasn't invited.
25
00:01:17,546 --> 00:01:21,063
Subtitles by Aimee
26
00:01:21,198 --> 00:01:24,377
www.TusSeries.com
27
00:01:24,378 --> 00:01:26,378
Resync:
nadielostzilla.
28
00:01:35,824 --> 00:01:37,748
4x07 'Survivor man'
29
00:01:38,202 --> 00:01:42,115
Hypothetically,
if I were to ask you to go camping,
30
00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:45,149
and you know what hypothetical means?
31
00:01:45,289 --> 00:01:46,707
- Not real.
- Got it.
32
00:01:46,842 --> 00:01:49,356
So if I were to hypothetically
ask you to go camping
33
00:01:49,491 --> 00:01:52,445
with me, would you go?
- Absolutely, yes.
34
00:01:52,658 --> 00:01:56,026
When Michael plays
the hypothetical game, I always say yes.
35
00:01:56,153 --> 00:01:57,219
- Really?
- Yeah.
36
00:01:58,290 --> 00:01:59,238
You wanna go today?
37
00:01:59,373 --> 00:02:01,154
And I am always busy.
38
00:02:01,340 --> 00:02:04,077
Oh, can't go today,
'cause I'm donating blood.
39
00:02:04,112 --> 00:02:06,636
How often
can you actually donate blood?
40
00:02:07,875 --> 00:02:11,477
- Is there a limit? I don't...
- Your body only has a certain amount.
41
00:02:11,539 --> 00:02:13,804
Well, is that it, or...?
42
00:02:13,839 --> 00:02:17,641
Yeah, just this whole Toby camping thing,
I don't know, seems a little lame.
43
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:19,362
How so?
44
00:02:19,397 --> 00:02:22,636
A bunch of guys, in a tent?
Making s'mores?
45
00:02:25,087 --> 00:02:27,027
- What's that?
- Hello, I'm Broken Mountain.
46
00:02:28,198 --> 00:02:30,336
Here's the thing.
That's not how you go camping.
47
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:33,510
- I think you go camping by yourself...
- Right.
48
00:02:33,645 --> 00:02:37,501
In the wilderness. It's not with a group
of guys frolicking around in tents.
49
00:02:37,689 --> 00:02:41,259
It's one guy, or two guys,
if your plans change.
50
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,052
- Not gonna change.
- I wanna do it myself.
51
00:02:43,087 --> 00:02:47,505
You know, I want to go and, and
find out something about myself,
52
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:48,832
I wanna get outta here.
53
00:02:49,060 --> 00:02:52,357
All the cliques,
and the office politics.
54
00:02:53,026 --> 00:02:55,670
Fluorescent lights. Asbestos.
55
00:02:55,868 --> 00:02:59,553
- I thought we had that looked at. - I'm
sick of it Jim. I'm sick of this place.
56
00:02:59,686 --> 00:03:01,654
When Jan and I had satellite,
57
00:03:01,789 --> 00:03:04,644
we used to watch a reality show
called "Survivorman."
58
00:03:04,719 --> 00:03:06,544
And...
59
00:03:06,679 --> 00:03:09,279
it was interesting
because it was about a guy
60
00:03:09,414 --> 00:03:11,954
who would go out
in the middle of no where
61
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:14,256
and just try not to die,
62
00:03:14,391 --> 00:03:17,188
try not to get eaten
by an animal, or...
63
00:03:18,058 --> 00:03:19,369
be overexposed.
64
00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:23,765
OK, I will only need two things:
roll of duct tape and a knife.
65
00:03:24,327 --> 00:03:25,517
- I'm on it.
- OK.
66
00:03:25,753 --> 00:03:27,628
Thirty minutes or less,
please come back.
67
00:03:28,325 --> 00:03:29,580
Save the receipts.
68
00:03:30,589 --> 00:03:31,855
Hey, what are...?
69
00:03:31,890 --> 00:03:33,260
Let's see if any of these will work.
70
00:03:35,895 --> 00:03:38,809
I keep various weaponries
strategically placed around the office.
71
00:03:39,242 --> 00:03:41,923
I saved Jim's life with a can
of pepper spray
72
00:03:42,058 --> 00:03:43,779
I had velcroed under my desk.
73
00:03:44,347 --> 00:03:45,716
People say,
74
00:03:45,751 --> 00:03:49,905
"Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons
in the home or the work place."
75
00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:54,388
Well I say, "It's better to be hurt
by someone you know accidentally,
76
00:03:54,812 --> 00:03:57,722
than by a stranger
on purpose."
77
00:03:59,526 --> 00:04:01,023
Dwight and I are going out.
78
00:04:01,058 --> 00:04:03,645
He will return later,
but I will not.
79
00:04:03,893 --> 00:04:07,219
I will also be taking
a personal day tomorrow,
80
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,604
and perhaps the next day.
81
00:04:09,829 --> 00:04:11,549
Do you want me to ask
where you're going?
82
00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:13,223
- No.
- Great.
83
00:04:13,258 --> 00:04:16,179
Dwight will be driving me
deep into the Pennsylvania wilderness.
84
00:04:16,463 --> 00:04:18,518
Where he will then leave me
85
00:04:18,639 --> 00:04:21,720
to either die or to survive.
86
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:23,441
The choice is yours.
87
00:04:23,576 --> 00:04:25,334
No, the choice is actually yours.
88
00:04:25,581 --> 00:04:27,269
Are you sure you want to do this?
89
00:04:27,304 --> 00:04:30,349
Yes, and I am leaving you
in charge of the office
90
00:04:30,484 --> 00:04:33,972
for the rest of the day and
for the next several days.
91
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,850
Do not try to follow me.
- OK, great.
92
00:04:35,885 --> 00:04:39,369
This is a very personal
private experience in the wild,
93
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:42,779
that I wish to share
with me, myself and I.
94
00:04:43,708 --> 00:04:47,590
When I return, I hope to be
a completely changed human being.
95
00:04:47,625 --> 00:04:48,815
That'd be great.
96
00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:51,673
Do I believe that Michael
possesses the skills...
97
00:04:51,774 --> 00:04:54,254
to survive
in a hostile environment?
98
00:04:55,237 --> 00:04:56,986
Let's put it this way:
99
00:04:57,325 --> 00:04:58,848
no, I do not.
100
00:05:00,828 --> 00:05:03,378
This is what
a true survivor man does.
101
00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:06,531
You simulate a disaster,
like a plane wreck.
102
00:05:06,852 --> 00:05:08,751
You could only wear the clothes
that you have on,
103
00:05:09,085 --> 00:05:11,986
and you could only use the stuff
you have in your pockets.
104
00:05:12,121 --> 00:05:16,380
Now, in this case,
this disaster is a serial killer.
105
00:05:16,415 --> 00:05:18,499
Creepy guy who's abducted me
106
00:05:18,634 --> 00:05:22,389
and is taking me out into the
wilderness to leave me for dead.
107
00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:23,689
No, I would never
leave you for dead.
108
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:26,686
- You would never escape.
-Well, yes I would. And I would survive.
109
00:05:26,721 --> 00:05:27,968
I would make sure
that you were dead.
110
00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:30,730
Then I would remove your teeth
and cut off your fingertips
111
00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,143
so you could not be identified.
112
00:05:32,178 --> 00:05:33,992
And they would call me
the Overkill Killer.
113
00:05:34,027 --> 00:05:37,143
You are as creepy
as a real serial killer.
114
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,001
For real. Ok.
115
00:05:39,036 --> 00:05:40,616
- What are you doing?
- I am putting this on
116
00:05:40,651 --> 00:05:43,869
so I have no familiarity
with my surroundings.
117
00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:46,804
Now this way,
I can't retrace my steps.
118
00:05:46,916 --> 00:05:48,409
I don't know
what streets we've been...
119
00:05:49,949 --> 00:05:50,886
What are you doing?
120
00:05:50,921 --> 00:05:52,493
It would be better
if you were unconscious.
121
00:05:52,628 --> 00:05:55,422
No! Gosh! Dwight.
Stop it, stop it! Stop it!
122
00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:57,265
Do you want to
do this right or not?
123
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:02,691
Please allow me to have
one cathartic experience in my life.
124
00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:06,461
Jim, we need to order a cake
for Creed's birthday.
125
00:06:07,282 --> 00:06:08,592
Wasn't it just someone's birthday?
126
00:06:08,663 --> 00:06:11,197
Yes. Kelly's was last week,
remember?
127
00:06:11,278 --> 00:06:12,549
I do remember, yeah.
128
00:06:12,584 --> 00:06:13,938
It's birthday month.
129
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,579
Creed's is today.
Oscar's is week after next.
130
00:06:16,814 --> 00:06:18,507
Meredith's is at the end of the month.
131
00:06:18,842 --> 00:06:21,170
Michael usually goes
with red and white streamers...
132
00:06:21,205 --> 00:06:24,542
I have an idea. Why don't we just
do one big shared party?
133
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:26,338
What?
134
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:28,757
There are thirteen people
working in this office,
135
00:06:28,792 --> 00:06:31,154
so thirteen times a year
136
00:06:31,289 --> 00:06:33,650
Michael gets a cake
and balloons,
137
00:06:33,785 --> 00:06:37,332
and some sort of joke gift
and makes a toast.
138
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:41,569
One is a joke
about how old you are.
139
00:06:41,604 --> 00:06:42,867
Look at those wrinkles.
140
00:06:43,007 --> 00:06:44,514
Blacks do crack!
141
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:45,947
Not crack the drug.
142
00:06:46,082 --> 00:06:48,275
And the other
is something inappropriate.
143
00:06:48,531 --> 00:06:51,240
Or horrible. Or both.
144
00:06:52,106 --> 00:06:54,734
What else? He only sings
the high harmony to "Happy Birthday."
145
00:06:57,779 --> 00:07:00,592
And he's a very big believer
in surprise parties.
146
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:03,512
Maybe even, arguably,
possibly to a fault.
147
00:07:03,547 --> 00:07:04,680
Happy Birthday!
148
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:05,975
Happy Birthday!
149
00:07:08,488 --> 00:07:09,608
Happy Birthday!
150
00:07:11,111 --> 00:07:12,894
So I think, yeah,
151
00:07:12,929 --> 00:07:15,482
I think getting these out of the way
might be productive.
152
00:07:16,383 --> 00:07:19,316
We can just have
one big fun party.
153
00:07:19,451 --> 00:07:21,543
Where everybody's happy
and nobody wastes their time.
154
00:07:21,578 --> 00:07:23,066
I don't like it.
155
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,207
You're shaking things up
a bit, huh?
156
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:32,953
It's a pretty good idea,
don't you think?
157
00:07:33,088 --> 00:07:34,645
- Do you think it's a good idea?
- No...
158
00:07:35,425 --> 00:07:37,262
I think it's a great idea.
159
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:42,725
We're here.
160
00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:50,568
Dwight will take my blindfold off
when we are deep in the forest.
161
00:07:50,933 --> 00:07:52,906
Just the two of us
from this point out.
162
00:07:53,161 --> 00:07:55,296
Here we go. Just the two of us.
163
00:07:58,638 --> 00:08:02,033
Here we go, into the wild.
To the mighty forest.
164
00:08:03,618 --> 00:08:05,849
Can you smell the trees
and the nature?
165
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:08,546
Keep going, you're fine.
166
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,476
Just some bushes
and some thickets.
167
00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:16,002
Keep going.
168
00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,651
You wanted wilderness,
you got it.
169
00:08:19,970 --> 00:08:21,774
You know, try sending them
another invoice.
170
00:08:24,044 --> 00:08:25,703
Did you see my memo
by the way?
171
00:08:28,463 --> 00:08:31,664
"Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays
are, we could all use a break
172
00:08:31,699 --> 00:08:34,958
from the constant cake, so let's
celebrate birthday month in style today."
173
00:08:36,392 --> 00:08:38,668
This is really cool.
174
00:08:39,330 --> 00:08:43,546
- Right? I was just thinking...
- No, totally, totally.
175
00:08:43,807 --> 00:08:47,451
This way we get it all out of the way
at once and it could actually be fun.
176
00:08:47,452 --> 00:08:50,182
Right! Exactly.
177
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,149
Knew I could count on you.
178
00:08:55,834 --> 00:08:57,261
Good a spot as any.
179
00:09:02,655 --> 00:09:03,901
What are you doing?
180
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:06,056
Stop it. Dwight, Dwight. Just...
- I'm just...
181
00:09:06,091 --> 00:09:07,589
- Stop.
- Spin.
182
00:09:07,624 --> 00:09:09,715
I'm trying to confuse
your sense of direction.
183
00:09:16,199 --> 00:09:17,578
Behold.
184
00:09:18,077 --> 00:09:20,376
- Alright, good. Thank you, Dwight.
- Here's your knife.
185
00:09:20,511 --> 00:09:22,900
- Thank you.
- And here's your duct tape.
186
00:09:23,138 --> 00:09:25,250
Alright, very good.
187
00:09:28,572 --> 00:09:30,207
- Good luck, Michael.
- Thanks for the ride.
188
00:09:36,261 --> 00:09:37,918
Leave me be, Dwight.
189
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:43,120
- Jim, can I have my own cake?
- What's that?
190
00:09:43,130 --> 00:09:45,126
I really prefer
devils food cake.
191
00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:46,658
- Oh, sure.
- Yes!
192
00:09:48,644 --> 00:09:50,018
Wow! That was easy.
193
00:09:50,053 --> 00:09:51,603
Yeah, people like me, I guess.
194
00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:56,144
- I hate devils food.
- Well I think Meredith was just...
195
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:57,711
Screw Meredith.
I don't think it's fair
196
00:09:57,746 --> 00:09:59,748
to let someone else pick the cake
on my birthday.
197
00:09:59,783 --> 00:10:01,918
- Everybody's birthday.
- Today is actually my birthday
198
00:10:01,953 --> 00:10:03,900
and I want to pick the cake.
- What do you want?
199
00:10:03,935 --> 00:10:06,091
- I want pie. I want peach pie.
- You want a birthday pie?
200
00:10:06,126 --> 00:10:07,212
I want a nice cobbler.
201
00:10:07,247 --> 00:10:09,253
I'm gonna to talk to Angela and we're
gonna see what we can do about a pie.
202
00:10:09,288 --> 00:10:11,190
I don't care who you talk to.
Just make it happen.
203
00:10:11,225 --> 00:10:12,948
- It will be Angela.
- You tell her it's for Creed.
204
00:10:13,236 --> 00:10:14,835
She'll know
what that means.
205
00:10:21,224 --> 00:10:22,336
Day One.
206
00:10:23,037 --> 00:10:26,058
I'm in the interior of
the vast Pennsylvania wilderness.
207
00:10:26,934 --> 00:10:29,089
I've brought with me
only the bare essentials.
208
00:10:30,017 --> 00:10:32,843
A knife, roll of duct tape,
209
00:10:33,138 --> 00:10:37,461
in case I need to craft some shelter
or make some sort of water vessel.
210
00:10:38,704 --> 00:10:40,710
It's hot today.
211
00:10:40,745 --> 00:10:44,286
The sun is in the two-thirds
easterly quadrant,
212
00:10:44,321 --> 00:10:49,224
which would make it about
2 o'clock in the afternoon.
213
00:10:49,606 --> 00:10:51,677
It's really beating down
on me now.
214
00:10:52,056 --> 00:10:56,515
I think that I want to get
a little more comfortable
215
00:10:57,023 --> 00:11:01,407
because the sun
is depleting my resources.
216
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:04,981
There we go.
217
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:09,498
Watch that I don't hit
my corroded artery here...
218
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:10,919
I lied to Michael.
219
00:11:10,954 --> 00:11:13,529
I said that I would leave him alone,
but I will not.
220
00:11:13,764 --> 00:11:17,835
I will remain close by to provide
unseen moral support,
221
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,414
but I will never help him.
222
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:24,350
I will let harm befall him.
I will even let him die.
223
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:27,654
But I will never
let him lose his dignity.
224
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,068
There we go.
Much better.
225
00:11:30,203 --> 00:11:34,772
Now everything I brought with me
can be used.
226
00:11:35,349 --> 00:11:37,546
My sport coat here
227
00:11:37,786 --> 00:11:42,651
can be fashioned
into a backpack of sorts.
228
00:11:42,686 --> 00:11:48,564
I'm going to wear
what was once one of my pant legs.
229
00:11:51,206 --> 00:11:53,785
See, this is
a beautiful piece of material.
230
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,572
This could be used
for all sorts of things.
231
00:11:56,607 --> 00:11:59,505
Some sort of kerchief
232
00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:03,757
to keep my neck
nice and comfortable.
233
00:12:06,502 --> 00:12:07,910
- Tuna.
- Andy.
234
00:12:08,392 --> 00:12:11,688
Me likey the ice cream cake, okay?
235
00:12:11,823 --> 00:12:13,652
- Fudgey the Whale.
- Not your birthday.
236
00:12:13,687 --> 00:12:15,596
Well, I'm just saying, you know,
237
00:12:15,631 --> 00:12:18,016
if you want to make people happy,
namely me,
238
00:12:18,051 --> 00:12:19,740
you will have a Fudgey the Whale.
239
00:12:19,775 --> 00:12:22,835
Alright, I'll look into it,
but the answer's no.
240
00:12:23,618 --> 00:12:25,368
Wow, OK, harsh.
241
00:12:26,237 --> 00:12:28,024
Just don't expect me to show up.
242
00:12:28,059 --> 00:12:30,460
Andy, I have some calls to make.
243
00:12:30,620 --> 00:12:31,964
- Loud and clear.
- Alright.
244
00:12:35,570 --> 00:12:36,399
Pizza rolls.
245
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:39,209
OK, I'm gonna go into this office here
to do some work.
246
00:12:39,244 --> 00:12:41,200
- So I will be in here.
- Mushroom caps.
247
00:12:41,656 --> 00:12:45,625
I am totally alone right now,
with only my thoughts.
248
00:12:46,135 --> 00:12:48,976
I love it. I'm loving it.
249
00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,121
I can literally say anything I want.
250
00:12:52,891 --> 00:12:54,957
No one is gonna here me.
251
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:58,981
Wish I could have gone with Ryan
on that cool retreat!
252
00:12:59,936 --> 00:13:02,005
Jan has plastic boobs!
253
00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:07,031
I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS!
254
00:13:09,755 --> 00:13:11,154
Doesn't even matter.
255
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:14,374
Michael is a man
of great depth and passion.
256
00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:18,987
I don't know
what he's searching for out here.
257
00:13:23,994 --> 00:13:25,453
I hope he finds it.
258
00:13:28,722 --> 00:13:29,795
Lunch.
259
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:34,680
Well, it is a little chillier
than I had thought,
260
00:13:34,715 --> 00:13:37,275
so I have fashioned my hat
back into my pants.
261
00:13:38,379 --> 00:13:41,390
Several hours in, time for me
to find some nourishment.
262
00:13:41,674 --> 00:13:45,698
Now, these woods are full of creatures
that can sustain human life.
263
00:13:45,882 --> 00:13:48,806
Things like, uh, squirrels,
264
00:13:49,141 --> 00:13:52,576
nice juicy rabbit
would be delicious.
265
00:13:54,456 --> 00:13:55,791
About two more minutes.
266
00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:00,925
I have made this spear,
267
00:14:01,636 --> 00:14:04,303
with which I will impale my dinner.
268
00:14:06,383 --> 00:14:08,005
And it couldn't come
a moment too soon
269
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:11,836
because I have been
without food for a good
270
00:14:12,071 --> 00:14:13,750
three hours or so.
271
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:16,902
I'm startin' to feel it a little bit.
272
00:14:22,165 --> 00:14:23,469
It's Creed's birthday today.
273
00:14:25,375 --> 00:14:28,892
Happy Birthday to you.
274
00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:33,640
Happy Birthday to you.
275
00:14:33,851 --> 00:14:39,639
Happy Birthday, dear Creed.
276
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:46,687
Happy Birthday to you.
277
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,351
Happy birthday, buddy.
278
00:14:50,786 --> 00:14:52,076
What is Jim thinking?
279
00:14:52,304 --> 00:14:54,863
It's a birthday,
so what if there's a lot of them?
280
00:14:54,898 --> 00:14:56,857
Yeah, I work hard all day.
281
00:14:57,350 --> 00:15:00,299
I like knowing that
there's going to be a break.
282
00:15:00,439 --> 00:15:02,982
Most days I just sit
and wait for the break.
283
00:15:03,272 --> 00:15:06,733
I took an extra shot of insulin
in preparation for this cake today.
284
00:15:07,018 --> 00:15:09,675
If I don't have
some cake soon, I might die.
285
00:15:09,710 --> 00:15:12,643
- Why don't you just have an apple?
- Why don't you mind your business?
286
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,036
Listen, I figured this out.
287
00:15:14,071 --> 00:15:17,642
Jimmy had his birthday three weeks ago,
so he doesn't care.
288
00:15:17,689 --> 00:15:19,630
- Probably went to his head.
- Yeah.
289
00:15:20,735 --> 00:15:22,166
Hey guys,
what're we talking about?
290
00:15:22,325 --> 00:15:24,793
Nothing!
Nothing going on.
291
00:15:24,928 --> 00:15:27,149
We're talking about nothing.
292
00:15:27,506 --> 00:15:28,814
C'mon, gang.
293
00:15:33,489 --> 00:15:36,663
Well if you take a look at this,
I tented my pants.
294
00:15:37,655 --> 00:15:41,962
I've made myself
a nice pants tent shelter.
295
00:15:42,564 --> 00:15:45,436
And this little guy may be
Dunder Mifflin paper some day.
296
00:15:51,228 --> 00:15:53,591
Nothing to worry about.
Just using the scope.
297
00:15:53,928 --> 00:15:55,598
Safety is...
298
00:15:56,621 --> 00:15:57,621
on.
299
00:16:03,939 --> 00:16:06,390
Hey, I just got the word
on the communal birthdays.
300
00:16:07,509 --> 00:16:08,899
Great idea.
301
00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:12,004
- Oh, thanks man.
- Yeah...
302
00:16:15,905 --> 00:16:19,060
- Is there anything...?
- My birthday was two months ago.
303
00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,456
- There was no party.
- What?
304
00:16:22,591 --> 00:16:26,110
Well, it... there was.
But Michael scheduled it for...
305
00:16:26,245 --> 00:16:29,987
4:58 on a Friday. You know,
people sang in the parking lot.
306
00:16:30,299 --> 00:16:32,028
- I remember that.
- I don't know, I just thought...
307
00:16:32,063 --> 00:16:35,060
you could include me.
- Seriously?
308
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,986
I just though you could add me.
I don't see the harm in that.
309
00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:40,198
Toby's great. He's great,
310
00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:42,749
but sometimes
he can be a little bit much.
311
00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,368
"I don't see the harm in that."
312
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,378
Well, it's a cake Toby, so, c'mon.
313
00:16:47,844 --> 00:16:50,236
OK. Yeah, you know what?,
we're just gonna throw you in.
314
00:16:50,271 --> 00:16:51,630
Because more the merrier, right?
315
00:16:51,665 --> 00:16:54,324
No. No way.
I am not a machine, Jim.
316
00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:56,984
You can't just
change plans willy nilly
317
00:16:57,019 --> 00:17:00,012
and expect these little magic party
elves to do your bidding.
318
00:17:00,047 --> 00:17:02,254
We already have devils food,
peach cobbler,
319
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,514
Fudgey the Whale,
mushroom caps.
320
00:17:04,549 --> 00:17:06,176
I'm allergic to mushrooms.
321
00:17:06,211 --> 00:17:09,645
That's a bummer.
OK, then we need to...
322
00:17:10,780 --> 00:17:12,540
Hey everybody.
Hi, how you doing?
323
00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:13,600
Can I have
your attention please?
324
00:17:13,735 --> 00:17:15,628
'Cause we have to talk
about this birthday thing.
325
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:18,167
- Conference room?
- Yes, conference room in 5 minutes.
326
00:17:21,233 --> 00:17:22,603
We're gonna solve it
right here.
327
00:17:22,638 --> 00:17:24,410
We're actually
gonna talk about it out here.
328
00:17:24,445 --> 00:17:26,598
So, who has problems
with the birthday thing?
329
00:17:27,743 --> 00:17:29,384
One, two, three, everybody.
330
00:17:29,519 --> 00:17:31,300
OK, so then
we just shouldn't do it.
331
00:17:31,649 --> 00:17:33,914
What am I supposed to do
with two cakes and a pie?
332
00:17:34,219 --> 00:17:35,393
I'll take 'em.
333
00:17:35,528 --> 00:17:36,931
Well nobody's
touching my cobbler.
334
00:17:37,038 --> 00:17:38,960
Hey, Michael. I mean Jim.
335
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:43,056
Yup, Phyllis called me Michael.
336
00:17:44,451 --> 00:17:47,819
And I will always and forever
be haunted by that fact.
337
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:51,864
Under this tree,
I think I struck the mother load.
338
00:17:52,422 --> 00:17:56,821
Those are nature's
best mushrooms.
339
00:17:57,651 --> 00:17:59,969
Wild, and I have to say
340
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:02,387
these little buggers
are damn tasty as well.
341
00:18:12,861 --> 00:18:13,913
Get them out.
342
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:21,227
Happy Birthday to you.
343
00:18:21,607 --> 00:18:25,624
Happy Birthday to you.
344
00:18:25,906 --> 00:18:31,415
Happy Birthday, dear Creed.
345
00:18:31,512 --> 00:18:36,626
Happy Birthday to you.
346
00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:38,157
Yeah!
347
00:18:38,773 --> 00:18:41,061
Alright, skip around the room.
348
00:18:41,096 --> 00:18:43,350
Skip around the room.
We want...
349
00:18:43,750 --> 00:18:46,117
Alright. Yeah, don't do that.
350
00:18:46,174 --> 00:18:47,371
You're gonna break something.
351
00:18:47,406 --> 00:18:49,688
Man became civilized for a reason.
352
00:18:49,723 --> 00:18:53,751
He decided that he liked
to have warmth, and clothing,
353
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:56,638
and television
and hamburgers,
354
00:18:56,673 --> 00:18:58,235
and to walk upright,
355
00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,596
and to have a soft futon
at the end of the day.
356
00:19:01,631 --> 00:19:04,327
He didn't want to have
to struggle to survive.
357
00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:06,066
I don't need the woods.
358
00:19:06,201 --> 00:19:09,316
I have a nice wood desk.
359
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:14,436
I don't need fresh air, because
I have the freshest air around,
360
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,513
A.C.
361
00:19:17,115 --> 00:19:19,774
And I don't need
wide open spaces.
362
00:19:21,332 --> 00:19:22,741
Check it out.
363
00:19:25,599 --> 00:19:27,303
I can also make it the sky.
364
00:19:31,647 --> 00:19:33,262
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
365
00:19:33,394 --> 00:19:35,250
What up?
366
00:19:35,385 --> 00:19:36,590
Sure glad you're back.
367
00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:40,295
- You are relieved.
- You have no idea.
368
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:42,686
So what did I miss?
369
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,792
Well, I tried to put all
the birthdays together at once.
370
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,657
Terrible idea.
371
00:19:47,692 --> 00:19:51,137
Yeah, okay, I did that.
Rookie mistake.
372
00:19:51,439 --> 00:19:52,741
You did do it?
373
00:19:54,107 --> 00:19:57,041
Just wait. Ten years,
you'll figure it out.
374
00:19:57,524 --> 00:19:59,865
I don't think I'll be here
in ten years.
375
00:20:01,582 --> 00:20:03,146
That's what I said.
376
00:20:07,747 --> 00:20:09,247
That's what she said.
377
00:20:12,704 --> 00:20:14,129
That's what who said?
378
00:20:14,264 --> 00:20:16,173
I never know.
379
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,237
I just say it.
380
00:20:19,115 --> 00:20:22,834
I say stuff like that, you know,
to lighten the tension.
381
00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:25,907
- When things sort of get hard.
- That's what she said.
382
00:20:28,512 --> 00:20:30,183
Nice.
383
00:20:30,918 --> 00:20:32,683
Really good.
384
00:20:34,288 --> 00:20:37,306
Bravo, my young ward.