1
00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:49,100
Trust me, I know what I'm doing.

2
00:01:37,060 --> 00:01:38,652
Cut!

3
00:01:44,660 --> 00:01:48,972
You've ruined my shot for the last time,
you hear me, old man?

4
00:01:49,060 --> 00:01:51,528
Mr Shmielman,

5
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:56,057
I'm not simply comfortable
working with these speciaI make-ups.

6
00:01:56,140 --> 00:02:00,850
In the old days, I always played
a vampire without fangs.

7
00:02:00,940 --> 00:02:04,489
Oh, yeah?
Well, now you can play it without a job.

8
00:02:04,580 --> 00:02:09,370
You're fired. Zeff, get over here!

9
00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:14,610
Throw this senile old loser off my set.

10
00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:17,134
I want him out of my sight! Now!

11
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:24,014
I'm so sorry, Mr Lagarski.
Why don't you come along with me?

12
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:26,455
Unhand me, sir.

13
00:02:26,540 --> 00:02:31,660
Vincent Lagarski
always makes his exits alone.

14
00:02:54,700 --> 00:02:58,056
'Famed horror film star of the '30s,
Vincent Lagarski,

15
00:02:58,140 --> 00:03:00,096
'passed away quietly tonight.

16
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,091
'He was 76.

17
00:03:02,180 --> 00:03:07,300
'Lagarski was working on a comeback
film - Touch Of The Vampire.

18
00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:09,416
'He's survived by a daughter. '

19
00:03:11,420 --> 00:03:14,969
- So sad when an old movie star dies.
- Actors.

20
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:19,258
The only time a man should wear
make-up is after he's been embalmed.

21
00:03:20,460 --> 00:03:23,896
How do you always manage
to say horrible things?

22
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,972
It's easy, I just use the English language.

23
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:34,614
Oops, spilled salt. Bad luck.
You know what you have to do.

24
00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,419
Those superstitions are ludicrous, Doreau.

25
00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:41,290
All right, if it'll make you happy.

26
00:03:48,340 --> 00:03:52,094
Must have heard some bad news.

27
00:04:01,740 --> 00:04:05,494
Couldn't act his way
through a PoliGrip commerciaI.

28
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,816
A vampire without teeth?

29
00:04:10,660 --> 00:04:12,651
Method crap.

30
00:04:22,420 --> 00:04:24,934
You! You!

31
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:30,735
Oh, no!

32
00:04:34,820 --> 00:04:39,610
You see? Just like I said, every last drop
of blood's been drained from his body.

33
00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:43,693
I haven't seen a man bled this dry
since the Dekorean divorce.

34
00:04:44,820 --> 00:04:47,698
Take a look at that wound
on his neck.

35
00:04:48,900 --> 00:04:52,176
I haven't seen anything like this
in my 12 years as a coroner.

36
00:04:52,260 --> 00:04:55,013
Haven't seen anything like this
in my 6 years as a cop.

37
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,172
I haven't seen anything like this
in my 49 years as a man.

38
00:04:58,260 --> 00:05:03,015
- Sledge, you're only 40.
- I was a man 9 years before I was born.

39
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:08,058
What's the details on Mr Rigor Mortis?

40
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:13,612
It's Steven Shmielman, a movie director.
We haven't located any of his next of kin.

41
00:05:13,700 --> 00:05:19,013
Just as well. I'd hate to see a relative
view that body. He's white as a sheet.

42
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:23,457
Don't worry, I'll fix him up. I keep
a sun lamp down at the morgue. Bye.

43
00:05:25,900 --> 00:05:30,451
Insp Hammer, the only interesting thing
we've found is this script.

44
00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:38,895
This must be the movie the poor joker
was working on before he bought it.

45
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:46,013
That's the movie Vincent Lagarski
was working on when he died.

46
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:50,537
Sledge, I think we should go
to the studio that's making this movie.

47
00:06:16,060 --> 00:06:19,848
- Are you Zeff Campbell, the producer?
- Police officers.

48
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,456
Thank you, gentlemen.

49
00:06:28,260 --> 00:06:34,938
We just got the call that... Steven is late...
because he's late. What happened?

50
00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,410
I'm gonna be blunt with you.
Your director was murdered.

51
00:06:39,340 --> 00:06:45,495
His demise was meant to appear
to be death by... um...

52
00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,815
- .. by a vampire.
- A vampire?

53
00:06:48,900 --> 00:06:53,928
Got any idea what sort of person would
want to drain a director of all his blood?

54
00:06:54,820 --> 00:06:57,653
Any William Morris agent.

55
00:06:57,740 --> 00:07:01,699
I am in... a totaI state of shock.

56
00:07:01,780 --> 00:07:05,329
First my star... now my director.

57
00:07:07,020 --> 00:07:10,376
- I thought yesterday was a nightmare.
- What happened?

58
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:14,419
Shmielman threw a fit on the stage
and fired Vincent Lagarski.

59
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:16,456
Poor old man was doing his best.

60
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:19,293
Can anybody else
fill me in on Shmielman?

61
00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:24,408
Our co-star Jessica Novak, but keep in
mind, she is the most upset of all of us.

62
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:27,298
She suffered
a tremendous personaI loss.

63
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:30,372
- Were she and Shmielman intimate?
- No, no.

64
00:07:30,460 --> 00:07:34,009
All of her close-ups
have been cancelled for today.

65
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,292
Well, thank you.

66
00:07:56,260 --> 00:08:00,811
- Miss Novak, would you mind?
- I'm sorry, no autographs please.

67
00:08:00,900 --> 00:08:04,290
- I'm ravaged.
- We're not fans.

68
00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:07,497
- Tell us about Shmielman.
- Steven?

69
00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:10,219
Yes, dear Steven.

70
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:13,258
He was a genius...

71
00:08:13,340 --> 00:08:15,331
a great artist...

72
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:18,571
and a wonderfuI human being.

73
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,252
Without him...

74
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:24,495
I don't know what I'll do!

75
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:33,138
Actually, Miss Novak, we'd prefer to ask
questions of a more investigatory nature.

76
00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:36,656
That's all the statement I care to give.

77
00:08:36,740 --> 00:08:40,528
Now... would you like
to take a photograph?

78
00:08:41,740 --> 00:08:43,776
Why would we want to do that?

79
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:48,495
Aren't you... Aren't you press?

80
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:51,140
No, we're not press, we're police officers.

81
00:08:51,220 --> 00:08:56,772
Are you telling me that I've just wasted
a perfectly brilliant crying jag

82
00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,772
on a couple of non-media peons?

83
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,133
Hey!

84
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,812
Listen to me,
you've gotta listen to me.

85
00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,812
It's true, it's true, I swear.

86
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:22,779
I saw Vincent Lagarski last night.

87
00:09:22,860 --> 00:09:27,058
He was walking the streets in his cape,
big as life.

88
00:09:27,140 --> 00:09:30,337
You've spent too much time
in Margarita-ville.

89
00:09:30,420 --> 00:09:36,370
Listen to me, Vincent Lagarski
has risen from the grave.

90
00:09:36,460 --> 00:09:39,099
Why doesn't anyone believe me?

91
00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:42,536
Cos you're a stinkin' drunk
spreading wild rumours.

92
00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:44,975
Why don't you sober up and get a job?

93
00:09:46,100 --> 00:09:49,729
- I already have a job.
- Really? What is that?

94
00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:53,290
I'm Chairman of the S-S-SchooI Board.

95
00:09:55,740 --> 00:09:57,537
He's telling the truth.

96
00:09:58,860 --> 00:10:04,571
Hey, you, I'm telling ya,
I saw Vincent Lagarski out in the street...

97
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:08,812
It was that dead guy, Vincent Lagarski,
from the movies.

98
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:12,779
Not another space cadet.
What's going on?

99
00:10:12,860 --> 00:10:17,775
I'm taking this report from this... civilian
who claims she saw that deceased actor.

100
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:19,816
- Lagarski?
- That's right.

101
00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:23,813
I was on a street corner
minding my own business, my body,

102
00:10:23,900 --> 00:10:27,131
when this guy introduced himself
as Count Vora.

103
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:31,418
He said he wanted to bite me in the neck
and suck out all my blood.

104
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:36,051
- What did you do?
- I said it'd cost 20 bucks so he took off.

105
00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:39,018
Were those red marks on your neck
from him?

106
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:43,616
Nah, one of your cops gave 'em to me
when I was riding up in the elevator.

107
00:10:48,060 --> 00:10:52,611
Doreau, I know what you're gonna say
and the answer is "impossible".

108
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:56,534
You can't ignore
the supernaturaI overtones of this case.

109
00:10:56,620 --> 00:11:00,898
I only put credence in things
absolutely proven to exist.

110
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:04,859
I don't believe in vampires,
in ghosts, UFOs,

111
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:07,500
the Warren Report - they're all malarkey.

112
00:11:07,580 --> 00:11:09,536
Well, I'm not afraid to admit it.

113
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:14,330
- This case gives me the creeps.
- Sorry, Doreau, I don't scare that easily.

114
00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:17,651
- Oh, Hammer, did you get the message?
- What?

115
00:11:17,740 --> 00:11:21,574
Your ex-wife called. She said
last month's alimony cheque got lost.

116
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:25,335
You're gonna have to send her
another one.

117
00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:31,096
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

118
00:11:36,580 --> 00:11:38,730
'The late actor Vincent Lagarski

119
00:11:38,820 --> 00:11:42,574
'is getting more publicity in death
than he did in life.

120
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:47,211
'Numerous city residents have reportedly
sighted the deceased film star.

121
00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:50,258
'Police refuse to comment
and are remaining silent

122
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:55,095
'on their investigation of the murder
of movie director Steven Shmielman.

123
00:11:55,180 --> 00:12:01,892
'Our station will be showing severaI of
Lagarski's old films. Here's a preview. '

124
00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:14,611
Ah, the children of the night.

125
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:18,693
What music they make!

126
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:26,649
I am lovely, lovely, lovely

127
00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:29,857
And bubbly, bubbly, bubbly

128
00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,216
Bubbly, bubbly, bubbly

129
00:12:37,460 --> 00:12:38,973
Mmm!

130
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,333
Yo?

131
00:13:14,300 --> 00:13:16,052
Yeah, Doreau.

132
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,371
Who?

133
00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,018
What?!

134
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,772
When?

135
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:25,772
Why? All right, I'll be right over.

136
00:13:28,620 --> 00:13:30,576
I forgot to ask where.

137
00:13:37,540 --> 00:13:42,409
- Why all the extra police photographers?
- They're not police, they're paparazzi.

138
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:47,016
Come on, come on.

139
00:13:48,580 --> 00:13:50,536
- Who found the body?
- Landlord.

140
00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:53,976
Zeff called him when Jessica
didn't turn up for their date.

141
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:57,018
- He's afraid to leave the house.
- He should be.

142
00:13:57,100 --> 00:14:01,412
His stupid flick is claiming more lives
than World War Two.

143
00:14:01,500 --> 00:14:05,778
- Come on, come on, come on.
- That's not all, Sledge.

144
00:14:05,860 --> 00:14:10,411
Some people believe they saw a man
running through the hallway in a cape.

145
00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:19,173
What the hell's going on around here?
Is Lagarski dead or what?

146
00:14:19,260 --> 00:14:22,616
It's time we found out once and for all.

147
00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:29,938
Unbelievable, absolutely incredible.

148
00:14:30,020 --> 00:14:32,170
I just cannot believe this.

149
00:14:34,740 --> 00:14:38,494
Has this entire city
taken leave of its senses?

150
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:42,255
Victims drained of blood?
A dead actor walking the streets?

151
00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:48,337
I've got officers requisitioning everything
from garlic to wooden stakes!

152
00:14:48,420 --> 00:14:51,378
You turned me down for those
six months ago.

153
00:14:51,460 --> 00:14:54,816
Doreau,
I can't condone belief in the occult.

154
00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:59,257
What is the most logicaI way to proceed
amidst this nonsense?

155
00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:03,811
We should exhume Lagarski's coffin
and see if he's dead or alive.

156
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,731
Exhum... Exhumation?

157
00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,618
Exhumation, exorcism,
what's the difference?

158
00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,612
Only you can issue the order
to dig him up.

159
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:13,656
I'll look like a fooI.

160
00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:17,733
I can't let the department think
I believe in this mumbo jumbo.

161
00:15:17,820 --> 00:15:19,970
I won't say a word to anyone, sir.

162
00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:25,616
All right, all right,
I will approve of the exhumation

163
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,339
if you will promise to keep it discreet.

164
00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:30,376
I promise, sir.

165
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:53,730
Hammer!

166
00:15:53,820 --> 00:15:57,608
Buy a dictionary
and learn the definition of discreet!

167
00:15:57,700 --> 00:15:59,816
I have not said a word to anybody, sir.

168
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:05,020
I'd like to apologise for Sledge bringing
this here, but I couldn't stop him.

169
00:16:06,340 --> 00:16:09,537
Well, we have to open it sometime.

170
00:16:11,780 --> 00:16:17,013
- Let's get this over with. Open it up.
- What do you expect to find in there?

171
00:16:17,100 --> 00:16:22,220
Something that will make us all feeI a lot
better, Majoy - a rotten, stinking corpse.

172
00:16:28,660 --> 00:16:31,333
Lagarski is survived by a daughter, right?

173
00:16:31,420 --> 00:16:33,729
Yes. She'd been living with him.

174
00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:37,779
If his daughter wants to survive,
she'd better answer some questions.

175
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:46,535
I'm telling you the truth.
My father's body was cremated.

176
00:16:46,620 --> 00:16:49,930
Burying that empty coffin
was a formality for the estate.

177
00:16:50,020 --> 00:16:52,693
You're telling us
your father's positively dead?

178
00:16:52,780 --> 00:16:57,979
I should hope so. Last week, I spread
his ashes all over the 605 Freeway.

179
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:00,492
His last request?

180
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:04,129
No, I was driving too fast
with the top down. Come.

181
00:17:05,220 --> 00:17:08,576
Follow me.
Let me share something with you.

182
00:17:38,060 --> 00:17:41,655
This room is testimony
to my father's genius.

183
00:17:41,740 --> 00:17:46,495
Everything you need to know about him
is in this room.

184
00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:51,210
Well, not everything, Miss Lagarski.

185
00:17:52,060 --> 00:17:55,496
Tell me why your father's director
and co-star are dead.

186
00:17:55,580 --> 00:18:00,938
Tell me why every shmo has seen the old
man roaming the streets like a boogieman.

187
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:05,571
- Tell me that, Miss Lagarski.
- I've no idea what you are talking about.

188
00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:08,811
Neither do I.

189
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:16,376
Ms Lagarski, under what circumstances
did your father pass away?

190
00:18:16,460 --> 00:18:20,499
He was watching television
and he just quietly went to sleep

191
00:18:20,580 --> 00:18:24,732
and... never woke up.

192
00:18:24,820 --> 00:18:27,493
I hope he wasn't watching
Mr Belvedere.

193
00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:30,538
I'd hate to think the old fellow
went out suffering.

194
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:33,896
Oh, but how my father did suffer!

195
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:39,976
He was dealt the cruellest punishment
an actor can receive. He was forgotten.

196
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:43,973
Unappreciative youngsters
masquerading as artists

197
00:18:44,060 --> 00:18:46,779
made him feeI old and worthless!

198
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:54,455
Congratulations. That little acceptance
speech for Best Supporting Psycho

199
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:56,656
just revealed a motive, girly.

200
00:18:56,740 --> 00:19:00,892
- I'm taking you in for murder.
- Sledge, let's not jump to conclusions.

201
00:19:00,980 --> 00:19:03,210
- Come on...
- Unhand my daughter!

202
00:19:03,300 --> 00:19:05,860
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

203
00:19:05,940 --> 00:19:08,374
Vincent Lagarski, back among the living.

204
00:19:08,460 --> 00:19:12,772
It comes as no surprise to me.
I'd already suspected you were alive.

205
00:19:12,860 --> 00:19:15,454
When did you first suspect?

206
00:19:15,540 --> 00:19:19,658
- When you said, "Unhand my daughter"...
- Put away your weapon, sir.

207
00:19:19,740 --> 00:19:24,291
I admit to my little hoax, but I certainly
didn't intend for my beloved daughter

208
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,655
to be incarcerated because of it.

209
00:19:26,740 --> 00:19:30,050
- What exactly did you intend?
- Isn't it obvious?

210
00:19:30,140 --> 00:19:35,339
I wanted to enjoy the accolades
and tributes you can only die to receive.

211
00:19:35,420 --> 00:19:38,457
To further perpetuate my legend,

212
00:19:38,540 --> 00:19:42,135
I shocked this city
with my nocturnaI appearances,

213
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:47,613
culminating in what's to be
the greatest comeback of all time!

214
00:19:47,700 --> 00:19:49,053
Yes!

215
00:19:49,140 --> 00:19:54,089
My return from the grave!

216
00:19:56,020 --> 00:19:58,853
- Does that answer your question?
- At least.

217
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:02,535
It doesn't answer mine.
Why did you kill Shmielman and Novak?

218
00:20:02,620 --> 00:20:04,656
I haven't killed anyone.

219
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:07,573
You already made yourself dead.

220
00:20:07,660 --> 00:20:10,413
Come on, you're both under arrest.

221
00:20:12,620 --> 00:20:16,772
So how did you drain all that blood out
of those bodies? Bite 'em in the neck?

222
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:20,535
- I've no idea what you're talking about.
- It was the daughter, right?

223
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:25,569
She's got fangs from a bungled
orthodontic procedure, am I right?

224
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:28,618
Well, I'll figure it out sooner or later.

225
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:36,894
Doreau, stop being such a worrywart.

226
00:20:36,980 --> 00:20:40,939
That nutty actor and his daughter
are in custody. The case is closed.

227
00:20:41,020 --> 00:20:42,976
Now, try to get some sleep.

228
00:21:15,820 --> 00:21:19,779
Campbell. What is this, Halloween?
You look ridiculous.

229
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:25,253
Shut up! I heard on the news
Lagarski's death was a fraud.

230
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:29,856
A dead man can't prove his innocence,
but a live one can.

231
00:21:29,940 --> 00:21:33,091
You killed Shmielman and Novak,
you geek. Why?

232
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:36,013
Jealousy.
Steven and Jessica were lovers.

233
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,660
I desired her, but she mocked me,

234
00:21:38,740 --> 00:21:42,130
tried to make me feeI unworthy,
unattractive.

235
00:21:42,220 --> 00:21:44,495
Well, you are.

236
00:21:44,580 --> 00:21:48,129
Technically, the film was finished
when I killed Steven,

237
00:21:48,220 --> 00:21:51,815
but doing so the day before
the officiaI completion meant...

238
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:55,575
Meant you'd collect on the insurance.
Why did you kill Jessica?

239
00:21:55,660 --> 00:21:59,619
- Because she continued to reject you?
- That was one of the reasons.

240
00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:04,410
The other was for the publicity. This film
will make a mint by the time it's released.

241
00:22:04,500 --> 00:22:07,856
But without a dead Lagarski
as my scapegoat,

242
00:22:07,940 --> 00:22:11,615
I've got to ensure I don't get caught
and that means...

243
00:22:13,300 --> 00:22:14,892
.. killing you.

244
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:17,938
Take a hike, Campbell, will ya?

245
00:22:18,020 --> 00:22:22,013
I'll arrest you manana.
Right now, I feeI kinda drained.

246
00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:25,012
An appropriate choice of words,
Mr Hammer.

247
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:02,853
Ahhh!

248
00:23:11,580 --> 00:23:13,810
Yaaaaaaaaaaah!

249
00:23:19,460 --> 00:23:21,212
You maniac!

250
00:23:23,540 --> 00:23:27,328
- Now look what you've done!
- Calm down, I only winged him.

251
00:23:49,060 --> 00:23:54,373
A pitifuI excuse for a human being.
This whole affair has been just ghastly.

252
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:56,894
Yeah. Probably be a terrific movie.

253
00:23:56,980 --> 00:24:01,770
The only person who wasn't a monster
was the old man who was playing one.

254
00:24:01,860 --> 00:24:05,296
Vincent Lagarski.
What do you think will happen to him?

255
00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:08,133
What happens
to any old-time movie star.

256
00:24:08,220 --> 00:24:10,176
- What's that?
- He'll live...

257
00:24:11,580 --> 00:24:13,332
forever.

258
00:24:15,260 --> 00:24:20,209
Ah, the children of the night.

259
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:25,811
What music they make!