1
00:00:04,938 --> 00:00:07,668
-Have you lost weight?
-I have, and thank you for noticing.

2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,366
Thought so. When you were bent over
tying your shoes...

3
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:13,774
...your wallet didn't look like
it was trying to bust out of your ass.

4
00:00:14,814 --> 00:00:17,305
Do you, uh, always check out my behind
when I'm bent over?

5
00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:20,476
Well, I try to look every other way,
but that thing is in lMAX.

6
00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:26,123
Regardless, I feel better, got more energy.
I don't know if you're aware of this...

7
00:00:26,292 --> 00:00:29,261
... but for a long time I struggled
with a midday lag.

8
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:31,397
If you mean that time
between noon and 5...

9
00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,930
...where I drive and you sleep,
yeah, I've noticed.

10
00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,897
No more.
And the great thing is I'm not dieting.

11
00:00:38,071 --> 00:00:40,539
I eat whatever I want.
It's all about portion control.

12
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,436
I've been preaching
moderation for years.

13
00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:45,840
The stomach understood.
The ears weren't ready to listen.

14
00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:48,611
-Morning, gentlemen.
-Hey, Samuel.

15
00:00:48,782 --> 00:00:51,979
I'll have the French toast
with hash browns and a large orange juice.

16
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:54,643
Good choice.
And for you, big and bountiful?

17
00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:59,091
I will have a half a cup of Grape-Nuts,
two inches of bacon...

18
00:00:59,259 --> 00:01:03,389
...and one silver dollar pancake
with a teaspoon of syrup.

19
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:05,355
Is he making a joke?

20
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,960
I usually find more food than that
under his chair.

21
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:12,135
Afraid not.

22
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:13,499
Okay.

23
00:01:13,673 --> 00:01:16,801
Would you like skim milk
on your Grape-Nuts?

24
00:01:17,110 --> 00:01:21,513
No, whole milk, but just a whisper.
I like my nuts crunchy.

25
00:01:23,850 --> 00:01:26,683
You are certain
my chain is not being yanked?

26
00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:28,982
Huh.

27
00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:32,249
-You understand my suspicions, right?
-Just go get my food!

28
00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:35,216
What you got going on tonight?

29
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:37,920
Nothing. I was thinking about
asking Molly out again.

30
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,896
Are you crazy? You can't ask
a woman out on the same day.

31
00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:43,126
-Why?
-Even if she's got nothing going on...

32
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:46,761
...she's gonna tell you she's got something
going on so you don't think...

33
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,636
...she's got nothing when you call
and ask what's going on.

34
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,106
So should I call her or not?

35
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,245
Sure, you got nothing going on.

36
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:57,707
Really? What are you doing tonight,
making fondue with your grandma?

37
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,413
It's chili night.

38
00:02:04,057 --> 00:02:07,288
You know, I was thinking
maybe I'd ask Molly to go bowling.

39
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:10,293
Bowling? Oh, you dog.

40
00:02:10,463 --> 00:02:12,294
I see the tender trap you're baiting.

41
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:14,558
What? It's just a second date.

42
00:02:14,734 --> 00:02:16,998
I figured it'd be a fun,
no-pressure kind of deal.

43
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:21,163
Uh-huh. It has nothing to do with the fact
that, when it comes to bowling...

44
00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,241
...you're a chunky, white
Michael Jordan?

45
00:02:23,409 --> 00:02:25,673
-lt does not.
-Not to mention a sight to behold...

46
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:28,905
...in that pink and black shirt
with the matching ball?

47
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,744
You know, I won that ball
in the police league tournament.

48
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,182
I built the ensemble around it.

49
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,218
You smooth-ass Casanova, you.

50
00:02:37,390 --> 00:02:39,984
I'm not a Casanova.
I haven't even kissed this girl yet.

51
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,788
Forget kissing.
You're gonna be looking at a 7-10 split.

52
00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,359
That little school teacher ain't
gonna know what hit her...

53
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,593
...when she sees you treat those pins
like your 10 little bitches.

54
00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:53,437
Whether it goes that far or not,
I wanna show her a good time.

55
00:02:53,606 --> 00:02:55,699
She lives at home
with her mom and her sister.

56
00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,309
She doesn't have a lot of excitement
in her life.

57
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,105
-No. No!
-Put the scissors down!

58
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,248
-I'm gonna cut it off!
-No man is worth it.

59
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:03,507
He said he loved me.

60
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:08,086
-He's married.
-He won't be after his wife gets my hair.

61
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,968
Well, I finally got Sweeney Todd to bed.

62
00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,543
How did you manage that?

63
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:36,307
I crushed up three Xanax
and put it in her teeth whitening tray.

64
00:03:36,749 --> 00:03:39,047
Well, it's all my fault she's so fragile.

65
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,914
I was too hard on her growing up.

66
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,487
Too hard?
You breast-fed her till she was 5.

67
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:44,680
[PHONE RlNGlNG]

68
00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,449
Would've done the same for you...

69
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:50,323
...except you were eating corn on the cob
before you had teeth.

70
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:52,322
Hello?

71
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:54,090
Hey, Mike.

72
00:03:54,267 --> 00:03:57,259
Uh, not much.
Hanging with Mom and Sis.

73
00:03:57,437 --> 00:03:58,461
Tonight?

74
00:03:58,638 --> 00:04:00,868
-You can't leave.
[WHlSPERS] Watch me.

75
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,976
Uh, bowling. Yeah, that sounds fun.

76
00:04:05,144 --> 00:04:06,771
Your sister needs us now.

77
00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:09,341
Hang on.
Mom, she's doing this for attention.

78
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:12,814
It's the same reason she's got a webcam
in her bathroom.

79
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:14,944
Fine.

80
00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:18,716
But if you come home and find the coroner
snapping a toe tag on your sister...

81
00:04:18,891 --> 00:04:21,121
...promise me you won't blame yourself.

82
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:22,954
Deal.

83
00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:28,093
I love him. I must go to him.

84
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:29,958
Oh, damn, it's awake.

85
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,871
Sure. That sounds fun. Great.

86
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,337
Seven o'clock. I have to go.

87
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:42,209
Why don't I just bring you
a whole order of french fries...

88
00:04:42,382 --> 00:04:43,906
...and you just eat 12 of them?

89
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:49,183
If I could eat just 12, this shirt wouldn't
look like it was made in an awning store.

90
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,455
I tried that portion-control diet once.

91
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:53,819
Yeah? How did it go?

92
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,017
Gained 14 pounds.

93
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:57,890
Three freaking gummi bears at a time.

94
00:04:58,064 --> 00:04:59,793
I'm having wonderful success with it.

95
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:04,403
And if I stay on track, I'm thinking
next summer, shirtless at the beach.

96
00:05:04,570 --> 00:05:06,299
I'll bring the suntan lotion.

97
00:05:06,673 --> 00:05:09,005
Just in case, bring a bucket
and a paint roller.

98
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:12,404
Ha, ha. That is quite an outfit.

99
00:05:12,578 --> 00:05:14,546
I'm guessing you've done this before.

100
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:18,616
Well, I'm not gonna lie to you,
I'm a bit of a legend in these parts.

101
00:05:18,785 --> 00:05:19,979
Oh, really?

102
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,644
Well, maybe legend's too strong.
Folk hero.

103
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:24,980
Well, I'm prepared to be impressed.

104
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:29,117
Me, I just did a little bowling in college,
mostly as an excuse to drink.

105
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,692
Yeah, you know, a lot of people
like to mix alcohol with the sport...

106
00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:34,594
...but I don't like my senses dulled.

107
00:05:34,767 --> 00:05:37,668
You can't put beer goggles
on the eye of the tiger.

108
00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,162
Right.

109
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,534
If you're interested in tips,
I'm happy to help.

110
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,005
-That'd be great.
-All right.

111
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,804
First off, there's a lot of misconceptions
about bowling.

112
00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:47,445
It's not just about brute force.

113
00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:49,604
It's about form, follow-through
and finesse.

114
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,409
The three F's, I like to call them.

115
00:05:51,584 --> 00:05:55,714
Not to be confused with the three R's:
reading, 'riting, and 'rithmetic, your forte.

116
00:05:56,889 --> 00:06:00,882
Now, the key to form
is keeping your wrist straight, okay?

117
00:06:01,060 --> 00:06:05,656
Key to a follow-through is releasing
the ball in a smooth, gliding motion.

118
00:06:05,832 --> 00:06:07,265
MAN:
Attaboy, Mike.

119
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:09,298
Ignore him.

120
00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:10,829
What about finesse?

121
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:13,836
Forget finesse for now. Focus on fun.

122
00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,074
Okay. I hope I don't embarrass myself.

123
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:22,203
Hey, we're just here to have a good time.
Nobody's gonna be embarrassed.

124
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:30,715
Oh! Look, I knocked them all down.

125
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,520
I'll be darned.

126
00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,094
Was my form okay?

127
00:06:37,263 --> 00:06:41,563
Yeah. You're still bending your wrist quite
a bit, but that goes away with practice.

128
00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,202
-Can I take another turn?
-Sure.

129
00:06:45,271 --> 00:06:46,602
Maybe I'll get lucky again.

130
00:06:46,773 --> 00:06:49,037
That's a very healthy attitude.

131
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,875
Booyah! That's what I'm talking about!

132
00:06:57,717 --> 00:06:59,480
That's good. That's real good.

133
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,779
Where's my 12 french fries?

134
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:06,820
I don't feel right
about taking your money.

135
00:07:06,993 --> 00:07:09,587
No, no, I made the bet
and you won fair and square.

136
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:10,956
Sandbagger.

137
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,461
-What?
-Nothing.

138
00:07:13,699 --> 00:07:17,066
Hey, Samuel. This is Molly.
Molly, Samuel.

139
00:07:17,236 --> 00:07:18,601
Oh, nice to meet you, Samuel.

140
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,934
The pleasure is mine. I heard
the large man was seeing someone...

141
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:24,838
...but l, of course,
assumed you were imaginary.

142
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,342
[LAUGHS]

143
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,745
That's funny. Samuel's from Africa.

144
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:34,250
He came here to pursue the American
dream and, apparently, to bust my balls.

145
00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,516
What part of Africa are you from?

146
00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:39,749
Grew up in Senegal,
my mother is from France.

147
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,791
-Do you speak French? Oh.
-Fluently.

148
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:45,192
I also speak Arabic, Wolof
and a little German.

149
00:07:45,364 --> 00:07:48,765
Apparently, the only language
he doesn't speak is waiter. Heh, heh.

150
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,105
I speak a little German too, uh....

151
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:56,036
[SPEAKlNG lN GERMAN]

152
00:07:57,109 --> 00:07:58,235
[LAUGHlNG]

153
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,946
I asked him, "What up, dog?"
and he said, "Not much, just chilling."

154
00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,209
[BOTH LAUGHlNG]

155
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:10,115
That's good. You working tonight
or just doing the floor show?

156
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,390
I'm sorry.

157
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:15,652
He gets grumpy when he
doesn't get his tiny pancake.

158
00:08:15,828 --> 00:08:16,852
[LAUGHlNG]

159
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:19,862
So, what are you doing here
in the United States?

160
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:22,830
Studying English Literature
at the University of lllinois.

161
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:26,403
Oh, I love English Lit. That's where
I fell in love with Shakespeare.

162
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:29,370
Ah, Shakespeare.

163
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:33,000
Love looks not with the eyes,
but with the mind;

164
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:36,512
And therefore is wing'd Cupid
painted blind:

165
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,480
-Nor hath Love's mind...
-Nor hath Love's mind...

166
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:42,212
-...of any judgment taste.
-...of any judgment taste.

167
00:08:42,388 --> 00:08:47,826
-Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste.
-Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste.

168
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:51,091
[BOTH SQUEALlNG]

169
00:08:51,898 --> 00:08:54,924
Ah, screw it.
Whatever's on the grill, I'm eating.

170
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,595
Big man gets bitchy when he's hungry.

171
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:00,830
Little bit.

172
00:09:01,340 --> 00:09:03,433
Keep a Snickers bar in your purse.

173
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:10,747
So, what's next?
You wanna grab a drink somewhere?

174
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:12,077
I don't think so.

175
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:15,709
Sure? You don't have to worry about
blurring the eye of the tiger anymore.

176
00:09:16,889 --> 00:09:18,015
Yep.

177
00:09:18,190 --> 00:09:21,284
We could just drive around a little.
It's a really beautiful night.

178
00:09:21,460 --> 00:09:24,224
Well, you're a schoolteacher.
You see the beauty.

179
00:09:24,397 --> 00:09:27,855
I see the crime, the corruption
and the danger.

180
00:09:29,168 --> 00:09:30,328
What's more dangerous:

181
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:33,597
The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf
or the Gymboree?

182
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:38,202
That's funny.

183
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:44,138
You just go right here on Wells.
It's a quicker way to get to my house.

184
00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:46,547
Excuse me, I'm a Chicago police officer.

185
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,812
I know these streets
like the back of my hand.

186
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:51,715
Okay. Sorry.

187
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,916
I may not know
how to quote Shakespeare...

188
00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,756
... but I know I can navigate
the City of the Broad Shoulders.

189
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:58,988
Carl Sandburg.

190
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:01,224
He's a great lllinois poet.

191
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,765
I know. I love his poems.

192
00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:08,135
It's actually "City of the Big Shoulders."

193
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:12,409
Broad is fine. I mean, you get it.

194
00:10:17,316 --> 00:10:19,648
Look, Mike,
if I've done anything to upset you--

195
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,252
Night.

196
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:24,249
Thanks.

197
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:27,449
I had a nice time.
I guess you'll call me, right? Okay.

198
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:29,257
[CAR ENGlNE TURNS OVER]

199
00:10:29,428 --> 00:10:31,953
You bowl like a girl!

200
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,766
VlCTORlA:
I can't live without him!

201
00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,096
I'm getting too old for this crap.

202
00:10:38,270 --> 00:10:39,601
You and me both.

203
00:10:45,611 --> 00:10:47,476
[MUSlC PLAYS ON TV]

204
00:10:48,214 --> 00:10:49,306
[SlGHS]

205
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:52,883
What I wouldn't give for a girlfriend
or Cinemax in my bedroom.

206
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,677
[KNOCKlNG ON DOOR]

207
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,194
What are you doing here?

208
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,763
Oh, no. Come here.

209
00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:17,375
-What happened?
-lt was a complete disaster.

210
00:11:17,877 --> 00:11:19,276
Erectile dysfunction?

211
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:24,542
No. I didn't even kiss her good night.

212
00:11:24,717 --> 00:11:26,184
So the penis is fine?

213
00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:30,679
As far as I know. He's been
hiding for the last couple hours.

214
00:11:30,956 --> 00:11:32,856
Tie your shoes
and give her the rear view?

215
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,926
Because I may have fudged
its attractiveness out of friendship.

216
00:11:36,228 --> 00:11:38,389
GRANDMA:
Carlton, who was at the door?

217
00:11:38,564 --> 00:11:40,589
It's just Mike, Grandma. Go back to bed.

218
00:11:40,766 --> 00:11:44,099
Oh, hey, Michael. How are you, baby?

219
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,732
I'm all right, Nana. How are you?

220
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:50,398
Oh, I'm right with my savior
and tight with my bookie.

221
00:11:52,578 --> 00:11:54,546
What are you doing here, sugar?

222
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:56,944
Carlton told me you had a date.

223
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:58,913
Uh, I did, but it ended pretty early.

224
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:00,416
Erectile dysfunction?

225
00:12:02,254 --> 00:12:04,484
Because Carlton got some pills
if you need them.

226
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:09,327
Uh, Grandma, how many times
have I asked you to stay out of my room?

227
00:12:09,495 --> 00:12:12,896
When you start doing your own laundry
I will stay out of your room.

228
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:15,863
Until then, I go where I please.

229
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,230
Pays 200 dollars a month in rent...

230
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:21,430
...and he gonna start telling me
where I can and cannot go.

231
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:25,774
Now, Michael,
what happened with this girl?

232
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,774
I don't know,
we just didn't make a connection.

233
00:12:28,948 --> 00:12:31,348
I see. You didn't make a connection.

234
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,281
Yeah, you know,
our world views don't jibe.

235
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:37,013
Your world views don't jibe?

236
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:38,349
Exactly.

237
00:12:38,724 --> 00:12:41,090
Now, Michael, I'd like to see you
in heaven too...

238
00:12:41,260 --> 00:12:44,286
...but lying to an old lady
ain't gonna get you there.

239
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:49,363
She beat me at bowling.

240
00:12:50,402 --> 00:12:52,597
-You're kidding me?
-I don't mean just beat me.

241
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:56,936
I mean, she covered my ass in Pledge
and wiped the floor with it.

242
00:12:57,676 --> 00:13:00,008
But the bowling alley's
your home court advantage.

243
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,477
Only place you got left to shine
is House of Pies.

244
00:13:02,648 --> 00:13:04,309
Hush up, black Gilligan.

245
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,187
Continue, Michael.

246
00:13:12,358 --> 00:13:16,385
It's not just that. She was showing off
and speaking in different languages.

247
00:13:16,562 --> 00:13:19,053
You mean in tongues?
Like the Pentecostals?

248
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:23,128
No, like French and German
and Shakespeare.

249
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:24,462
Oh, good.

250
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:28,368
Because I been to a tent revival
and that mess will put you off Jesus.

251
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:34,678
So if I hear you correctly,
what's upsetting you is you had a date...

252
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:39,307
...with a smart, capable young woman
and it threatened your masculinity.

253
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:41,715
No. No.

254
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:44,353
Oh, Michael...

255
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:48,687
...why is it you boys get so intimidated
by strong women?

256
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:51,421
Want us all to just be dumb and grateful.

257
00:13:51,597 --> 00:13:53,258
No, I don't want dumb.

258
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,957
I am a fan of grateful.

259
00:13:56,569 --> 00:14:00,767
Please. When's the last time
you laid your eyes on grateful?

260
00:14:04,977 --> 00:14:06,740
Let me tell you something, Michael...

261
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:12,077
...you gotta embrace the beauty
of a strong, independent woman.

262
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,242
If it was me, I'd cut my
losses and move on.

263
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:17,446
I guess we know why you're
in the bathroom on a Friday night...

264
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,114
...shaving your head
with my Lady Schick.

265
00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:25,354
And I pray to God
that's all you were shaving.

266
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:30,400
Now, Michael,
do you have feelings for this girl?

267
00:14:30,803 --> 00:14:32,361
Yeah, I guess I do.

268
00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:35,371
Well, then you need to stop behaving
like a petulant child.

269
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:40,444
Go back to her, tell her what's
in your heart and how you really feel.

270
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,672
Yuck, really?

271
00:14:42,848 --> 00:14:45,681
Take it from me,
you show her that side of you...

272
00:14:45,851 --> 00:14:48,581
...and she will open up like a flower.

273
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:51,552
Because there ain't nothing sexier
in the world...

274
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,558
...than a secure man
being honest with his woman.

275
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,286
MAN:
Baby, you coming back to bed?

276
00:14:57,463 --> 00:15:00,921
Now, that man is honest
as the day is long.

277
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:06,094
And had he not been honest,
I never would've found out he was long.

278
00:15:12,378 --> 00:15:13,936
God, I love your grandma.

279
00:15:15,948 --> 00:15:19,179
You may not believe this now,
but you'll get over this man.

280
00:15:19,351 --> 00:15:21,751
Yes, you will.
And you'll find somebody else.

281
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,617
Somebody sweet and kind and loving--

282
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:27,088
And single.
I'd try single for the next one.

283
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,422
You know,
just to shake things up a little bit.

284
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:34,828
Molly, your sister's hurting. This is no time
to play Monday morning quarterback.

285
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,764
She's had one of those.
And he was married.

286
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,505
She has been doing this her whole life.

287
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:43,141
She gets mixed up
with emotionally unavailable men...

288
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:47,040
-...and wonders why they broke her heart.
-He's not emotionally unavailable.

289
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,544
He's an alcoholic, there's a difference.

290
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:53,173
Oh, my mistake.
Oh, he's drunk and married.

291
00:15:53,352 --> 00:15:55,946
That's a guy you can count on.

292
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,621
Why are you being so mean to me?

293
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,760
Is she on a new diet?

294
00:16:01,927 --> 00:16:04,896
Yeah, I'm on the "not swallowing
any more of your crap" diet.

295
00:16:05,064 --> 00:16:08,295
Oh, Mom, please.
Give her a cookie or something.

296
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:12,961
Molly, you need to calm down
and just be supportive of your sister.

297
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:17,302
Are you kidding? That's all I ever do
around here is support my sister.

298
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,502
What about me?
Who supports me when I'm hurting?

299
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:22,772
-Well, why are you hurting?
-Oh, I don't know.

300
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,382
Maybe because I had a date
with a guy I really liked.

301
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:26,677
A single guy.

302
00:16:26,852 --> 00:16:28,649
And it was a complete train wreck.

303
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,346
Well, you'll be fine. You're a rock.

304
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:34,856
I don't wanna be the rock anymore.
Let somebody else be the rock.

305
00:16:35,027 --> 00:16:37,825
I wanna be the hot one
that gets taken care of...

306
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,363
...and everybody wants
to have sex with.

307
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:43,057
Oh, Molly, it's not as
glamorous as it looks.

308
00:16:45,404 --> 00:16:46,598
It's really not.

309
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,174
Look, Molly, I'm really sorry
about how I behaved.

310
00:16:52,344 --> 00:16:53,834
Keep in mind that I'm a cop.

311
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,380
My life is on the line every day
and that can wind a man up pretty tight.

312
00:16:57,549 --> 00:17:00,985
So sometimes you get the teddy bear
and sometimes you get the rattlesnake.

313
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,814
That's good.

314
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,783
Okay, let's do this.

315
00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:07,721
JOYCE: Victoria, what're you doing
with that hairspray and lighter?

316
00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,191
VlCTORlA: Back off!
JOYCE: Molly, code blue!

317
00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,522
MOLLY:
What the hell's going on?

318
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:15,030
VlCTORlA: I'm gonna set that bastard
on fire and you can't stop me.

319
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,360
JOYCE: Oh, my God!
MOLLY: Put it down!

320
00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,730
-Put it down.
-Step aside, ladies, I got this.

321
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:20,895
-What are you doing here?
-Let me do my job.

322
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,439
Victoria, give me the hair spray
and the lighter.

323
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,077
No, he's gotta pay!

324
00:17:26,645 --> 00:17:30,604
Listen, I understand you're upset,
but revenge is not the answer.

325
00:17:31,183 --> 00:17:35,381
I loved him and he broke my heart.

326
00:17:35,954 --> 00:17:37,785
I understand, sweetie.

327
00:17:37,956 --> 00:17:42,052
Sometimes we all suffer
disappointment and humiliation.

328
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:45,788
Can't help it if I'm a good bowler.

329
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,960
You're a great bowler.
And I'll get back to you on that.

330
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:55,238
Listen, I know guys act really stupid
sometimes.

331
00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,739
I certainly did tonight.

332
00:17:58,277 --> 00:17:59,869
Okay.

333
00:18:01,213 --> 00:18:05,513
It's not an excuse to turn
some guy's face into burnt lasagna.

334
00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:11,785
Okay? What it really is, is an opportunity
to practice forgiveness.

335
00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:15,825
So why don't you give me the lighter
and we'll talk about it?

336
00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:19,129
Come on, Victoria, please.

337
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:23,128
Thattagirl.

338
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:26,030
Hostage training at the academy.

339
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:27,433
Okay, now listen-- Oh!

340
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:28,971
Dear God, that burns!

341
00:18:29,141 --> 00:18:32,508
JOYCE: Victoria, you get back in this house!
VlCTORlA: No!

342
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,139
That was really sweet.

343
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:36,508
I'll flush your eyes out when I get back.

344
00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:41,118
Oh, that's good. She still likes me.

345
00:18:48,894 --> 00:18:49,918
[PlNS CRASHlNG]

346
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:51,824
Yes!

347
00:18:52,764 --> 00:18:55,756
Sorry, I get excited.

348
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:58,869
It's okay. You're a wonderful bowler.

349
00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:03,474
Well, in that case, booyah!
That's how I roll! Ha, ha.

350
00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,634
All right, all right, don't push the cute.

351
00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:08,072
Where are we at?

352
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,943
You're up like 38 pins. Give or take.

353
00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,209
Well, you can still turn things around.

354
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:21,350
What you doing?

355
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,757
I'm turning things around.

356
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:27,458
MAN:
Attaboy, Mike.

357
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:58,920
[English - US - SDH]