1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,300
Narrator: Kids, in my early
days of being a Professor,
2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,800
I had one simple goal:
3
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:06,900
Give a lecture that changes someone's life.
4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,600
Then one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.
5
00:00:10,674 --> 00:00:12,258
Ted:
Unfinished.
6
00:00:12,259 --> 00:00:15,378
Of all the words you could use
to describe La Sagrada Familia...
7
00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:18,314
Brown, pointy, weird...
8
00:00:18,915 --> 00:00:21,316
The one that really seems
to stick is "unfinished."
9
00:00:21,317 --> 00:00:22,402
Why?
10
00:00:22,403 --> 00:00:27,407
Because on June 7, 1926,
the architect Antoni Gaudi...
11
00:00:27,408 --> 00:00:31,527
Whose beard was also brown,
pointy, weird and unfinished...
12
00:00:32,463 --> 00:00:35,131
Was run over by a bus.
13
00:00:35,132 --> 00:00:39,802
And so, his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever...
14
00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,457
But first, let's back up a few days.
15
00:00:44,558 --> 00:00:47,443
Ted, look across the bar.
16
00:00:47,444 --> 00:00:49,962
Three chicks: one hot, one kind of hot
17
00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,998
and one who I'm assuming is really funny.
18
00:00:51,999 --> 00:00:53,182
We ride!
19
00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:56,903
What's wrong?
20
00:00:56,904 --> 00:00:57,954
I don't know.
21
00:00:57,955 --> 00:00:59,522
Got a burger coming.
22
00:01:00,157 --> 00:01:01,324
Bro, I told you,
23
00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:03,860
if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy.
24
00:01:03,861 --> 00:01:06,496
Yeah, I'm not going to go
through that again.
25
00:01:06,497 --> 00:01:08,247
Hi.
26
00:01:08,248 --> 00:01:09,832
Barney Stinson.
27
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:12,418
And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.
28
00:01:16,173 --> 00:01:18,091
Thank you for your time.
29
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:21,894
Fine. I'll have a three-way
with hot and kind of hot
30
00:01:21,895 --> 00:01:23,012
while Giggles works the camera.
31
00:01:23,013 --> 00:01:24,180
I ride!
32
00:01:25,399 --> 00:01:26,849
So, get this:
33
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,935
Last night, I was watching TV,
and it turns out,
34
00:01:28,936 --> 00:01:30,436
some random satellite channel
35
00:01:30,437 --> 00:01:33,122
picks up a certain local Chicago newscast.
36
00:01:33,123 --> 00:01:36,659
Announcer: And now,
the 11:00 news with Don Frank.
37
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,610
Boo!
38
00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:39,245
Oh, man, it's bad enough
39
00:01:39,246 --> 00:01:40,913
to have to go through a horrible breakup,
40
00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:43,082
but then have that person
pop up on your TV?
41
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,333
Are you okay?
42
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,536
Well, I'll admit, at first,
I felt a little weird.
43
00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:49,422
But after the initial shock,
I realized something:
44
00:01:49,423 --> 00:01:51,290
I've moved on.
45
00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:56,462
Finished with that.
46
00:01:56,463 --> 00:01:57,630
(Sighs)
47
00:01:57,631 --> 00:02:00,249
It was a peaceful moment of closure.
48
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,217
That's great.
49
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:03,469
- Good on you.
- Yeah, thank you.
50
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:04,587
Where's the poop, Robin?
51
00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:05,822
Excuse me?
52
00:02:05,823 --> 00:02:08,474
When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean.
53
00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:11,360
Whenever he made the face
that you're making right now,
54
00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:14,831
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.
55
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:17,433
Where's the poop, Robin?
56
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:19,535
I don't know what you're talking
about. Where's the poop, Robin?
57
00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:21,154
- There's no poop.
- Where's the poop?
58
00:02:21,155 --> 00:02:22,438
Okay.
59
00:02:22,439 --> 00:02:24,957
So it wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.
60
00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,627
(Slurring):
Hey, Don, here's some breaking news:
61
00:02:27,628 --> 00:02:31,280
There's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.
62
00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:35,635
Finished with that.
63
00:02:35,636 --> 00:02:37,336
(Bottle shatters)
64
00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:42,091
Look, I'm not proud,
but Don left so quickly
65
00:02:42,092 --> 00:02:44,510
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.
66
00:02:44,511 --> 00:02:48,964
So yelling at him, even on TV, felt kind of good.
67
00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,266
And you know what?
68
00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:53,186
Now I truly am over him.
69
00:02:53,187 --> 00:02:54,821
- That's great.
- Thank you.
70
00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:55,855
Good on you.
71
00:02:55,856 --> 00:02:57,156
Where's the poop, Robin?
72
00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:58,524
Damn it!
73
00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:01,744
Okay, in the process
of truly getting over him,
74
00:03:01,745 --> 00:03:04,030
I may have called him
75
00:03:04,031 --> 00:03:07,633
and left an... Indelicate voice mail.
76
00:03:07,634 --> 00:03:09,886
I am gonna kill you.
77
00:03:09,887 --> 00:03:13,289
I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you,
78
00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:18,060
put your stupid face
on a deep dish pizza and eat it.
79
00:03:18,061 --> 00:03:20,213
And then maybe catch a Bears game.
80
00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:24,600
But mostly the killing
and eating your face thing.
81
00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:25,834
Give me your phone.
82
00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:27,470
We're deleting Don's number.
83
00:03:27,471 --> 00:03:28,771
Don't worry.
84
00:03:28,772 --> 00:03:30,339
I am never doing that again.
85
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,574
It was a one-time thing.
86
00:03:31,575 --> 00:03:32,558
Prove it.
87
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:33,559
Delete contact.
88
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,479
(Sighs)
89
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,147
There. Deleted.
90
00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:39,649
Oh, hey!
91
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,984
Back already.
92
00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:44,070
How was flying solo?
93
00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:48,958
And by "solo," I mean
so low that you got shot down.
94
00:03:49,693 --> 00:03:51,327
Look, I didn't get shot down.
95
00:03:51,328 --> 00:03:53,596
Trust me, I'll get the yes.
96
00:03:53,597 --> 00:03:57,917
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
97
00:03:57,918 --> 00:03:59,252
This is all
98
00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:00,253
part of the plan.
99
00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:01,504
After initial contact,
100
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:03,472
I'm now in the ignoring phase.
101
00:04:03,473 --> 00:04:05,992
Barney, why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner
102
00:04:05,993 --> 00:04:07,193
like a normal person?
103
00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:11,847
Golden rule: I do not
buy dinner to get the yes.
104
00:04:11,848 --> 00:04:14,617
Dinner's a very intimate activity.
105
00:04:14,618 --> 00:04:15,735
It requires
106
00:04:15,736 --> 00:04:18,571
a level of connection and eye contact
107
00:04:18,572 --> 00:04:19,789
that sex just doesn't.
108
00:04:20,524 --> 00:04:21,774
Call me old-fashioned,
109
00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:24,660
but I need to have sex
with a girl at least three times
110
00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:27,029
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.
111
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,115
Narrator:
The next day, at the university,
112
00:04:29,116 --> 00:04:30,082
i had a surprise visitor.
113
00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:31,900
What are you doing here?
114
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,336
Oh, God!
115
00:04:33,337 --> 00:04:34,787
You're dating one of my students.
116
00:04:34,788 --> 00:04:36,422
It's Rachel, isn't it?
117
00:04:36,423 --> 00:04:38,341
Barney, I know
she wears provocative sweaters,
118
00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:39,375
but she's 19!
119
00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:40,209
Ugh.
120
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,510
Now I'm gonna have to hear
121
00:04:41,511 --> 00:04:42,795
all about it, right?
122
00:04:42,796 --> 00:04:44,714
Go on, tell me every detail.
123
00:04:44,715 --> 00:04:46,632
No, you pent-up old perv.
124
00:04:46,633 --> 00:04:48,250
I brought you a present.
125
00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:52,355
Recognize this?
126
00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:53,889
It's my building.
127
00:04:53,890 --> 00:04:56,759
Kids, you may remember that,
a few years earlier,
128
00:04:56,760 --> 00:05:00,112
i was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters
129
00:05:00,113 --> 00:05:01,447
for Goliath National Bank.
130
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:04,200
It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.
131
00:05:04,201 --> 00:05:07,286
And when the project
was ultimately scrapped...
132
00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:08,955
It broke my heart.
133
00:05:08,956 --> 00:05:12,708
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be co-workers...
134
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:15,494
Nay, bro-workers?
135
00:05:15,495 --> 00:05:17,446
Wait a minute. Y... You don't mean...
136
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,416
Ted Mosby, it's back on.
137
00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:23,302
We're gonna build your building.
138
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:36,000
Sync by fant0m, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com
139
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:40,199
This is awesome...
You're designing our new headquarters.
140
00:05:40,300 --> 00:05:42,484
Now, there will be voices that tell you
141
00:05:42,485 --> 00:05:44,636
a hockey rink on the roof is unfeasible.
142
00:05:44,637 --> 00:05:47,100
You've got to shut those voices out.
143
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,900
Actually, I think I'm gonna say no.
144
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,493
No? Are you kidding me?
145
00:05:51,494 --> 00:05:53,495
But designing a building in New York City
146
00:05:53,496 --> 00:05:54,946
is your lifelong dream.
147
00:05:54,947 --> 00:05:57,599
I do not want to work for GNB again.
148
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,833
Those guys are evil.
149
00:05:58,834 --> 00:05:59,901
No offense, Marshall.
150
00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:01,870
Dude, none taken.
151
00:06:01,871 --> 00:06:06,257
Yes, GNB is, the Empire from Star Wars.
152
00:06:06,258 --> 00:06:09,127
But the Death Star's gonna
get built either way.
153
00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:11,429
And don't you think
the architect of the Death Star
154
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:14,082
is pretty psyched to have that
thing on his space resume?
155
00:06:14,083 --> 00:06:15,249
I mean, yes,
156
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,918
his design was flawed in the sense
157
00:06:16,919 --> 00:06:19,020
that a single bullet
fired into a particular vent
158
00:06:19,021 --> 00:06:20,638
would explode the whole thing.
159
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,474
For all we know,
that was the contractor's fault.
160
00:06:22,475 --> 00:06:24,726
But that won't happen on
your watch... You know why?
161
00:06:24,727 --> 00:06:25,810
Because you're Ted Mosby!
162
00:06:25,811 --> 00:06:28,146
And you are gonna design
the most beautiful,
163
00:06:28,147 --> 00:06:30,698
ventless, rebel-proof
building in Manhattan,
164
00:06:30,699 --> 00:06:33,318
with clearly marked emergency stops
165
00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:35,436
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.
166
00:06:35,437 --> 00:06:37,906
Look, I know this is hard to understand,
167
00:06:37,907 --> 00:06:41,843
but right now, I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.
168
00:06:41,844 --> 00:06:43,495
And I like it that way.
169
00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:46,114
I know what my answer has to be.
170
00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,549
I can't take the job, Barney.
171
00:06:47,550 --> 00:06:49,217
I'm done with that life.
172
00:06:49,218 --> 00:06:50,284
No hard feelings?
173
00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:52,170
Of course not.
174
00:06:52,171 --> 00:06:54,288
All right.
175
00:06:56,008 --> 00:06:58,059
- Hey, Professor Mosby.
- Hey, Rachel.
176
00:07:00,312 --> 00:07:02,480
Narrator:
And I thought that was the end of the story.
177
00:07:02,481 --> 00:07:03,565
But then that night...
178
00:07:03,566 --> 00:07:04,516
I'm telling you,
179
00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:06,401
no architect would ever design
180
00:07:06,402 --> 00:07:09,104
a giant exposed vent right over
a Death Star's core reactor.
181
00:07:09,105 --> 00:07:10,304
That's Space Architecture 101.
182
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:12,323
It had to be the contractor.
183
00:07:12,324 --> 00:07:13,575
Barney, back me up.
184
00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:16,027
Barney.
185
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,913
Dude, this is important.
186
00:07:18,914 --> 00:07:20,098
I need another drink.
187
00:07:20,099 --> 00:07:21,533
Marshall, you want anything?
188
00:07:22,084 --> 00:07:23,985
No, I'm fine.
189
00:07:25,838 --> 00:07:28,273
Okay, I get that he's mad at me
for turning down the job,
190
00:07:28,274 --> 00:07:29,557
but acting like I'm not even here?
191
00:07:29,558 --> 00:07:31,826
Wait, you turned down the job? When?
192
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,660
This morning.
193
00:07:32,661 --> 00:07:35,096
That's so weird.
194
00:07:35,097 --> 00:07:37,682
Just, like, an hour ago,
when we were leaving work...
195
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:39,834
So, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?
196
00:07:39,835 --> 00:07:41,436
(Scoffs) Please.
197
00:07:41,437 --> 00:07:42,654
I'll get the yes.
198
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:46,891
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.
199
00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:48,393
(Chuckles)
200
00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:49,727
Huh.
201
00:07:49,728 --> 00:07:51,946
Am I wrong or is that
exactly what Barney says
202
00:07:51,947 --> 00:07:53,765
when he's putting the moves on a girl?
203
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:55,016
Exactly. I mean, it's almost like
204
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,234
he's putting the moves on you.
205
00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:57,535
Yeah, more like the opposite.
206
00:07:57,536 --> 00:08:00,355
He's been ignoring me all night.
207
00:08:00,356 --> 00:08:02,273
- Oh.
- Oh.
208
00:08:03,375 --> 00:08:05,176
Barney wants me to take the job so bad
209
00:08:05,177 --> 00:08:06,361
he's putting the moves on me?
210
00:08:06,362 --> 00:08:08,863
I hope that's his end game.
211
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:09,881
Actually, I don't.
212
00:08:09,882 --> 00:08:11,633
I like you two together.
213
00:08:11,634 --> 00:08:12,667
I don't buy it.
214
00:08:12,668 --> 00:08:14,252
That's crazy, even for Barney.
215
00:08:14,253 --> 00:08:15,336
Okay, well, think about it.
216
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,971
We've seen his moves countless times.
217
00:08:16,972 --> 00:08:19,641
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?
218
00:08:19,642 --> 00:08:21,643
Chrissy, I love your glasses.
219
00:08:21,644 --> 00:08:22,677
Really?
220
00:08:22,678 --> 00:08:23,878
They totally pull focus up
221
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,947
from that whole chin
situation you got going on.
222
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:28,099
To Chrissy.
223
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:30,068
The backhanded compliment
224
00:08:30,069 --> 00:08:32,604
to lower her self-esteem...
A proven winner.
225
00:08:32,605 --> 00:08:33,605
But Barney hasn't done...
226
00:08:33,606 --> 00:08:35,607
Ted, I admire your loyalty.
227
00:08:35,608 --> 00:08:38,359
You've had that hairstyle forever.
228
00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:39,994
You don't care that it's out of fashion
229
00:08:39,995 --> 00:08:41,880
or that it's been co-opted
by the lesbian community.
230
00:08:41,881 --> 00:08:43,064
You stick with it.
231
00:08:43,866 --> 00:08:44,832
To Ted.
232
00:08:45,668 --> 00:08:47,568
Hey, Lily!
233
00:08:47,569 --> 00:08:51,405
Don't "hey, Lily" me.
234
00:08:51,406 --> 00:08:54,325
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.
235
00:08:54,326 --> 00:08:55,927
Oh, no, not this again.
236
00:08:55,928 --> 00:08:57,295
Where's the poop, Robin?
237
00:08:57,296 --> 00:09:00,048
Okay, I left Don another message.
238
00:09:00,049 --> 00:09:00,932
(Gasps)
239
00:09:00,933 --> 00:09:02,250
(Slurring): "This just in"
240
00:09:02,251 --> 00:09:03,685
is what I'm gonna say
241
00:09:03,686 --> 00:09:05,920
when I'm stabbing you".
242
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,355
But that's impossible.
243
00:09:07,356 --> 00:09:08,589
You deleted his number.
244
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:09,557
I tried to.
245
00:09:09,558 --> 00:09:10,692
But then this thing popped up
246
00:09:10,693 --> 00:09:12,426
on my phone that said, "are you sure?"
247
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:13,611
And I wasn't sure.
248
00:09:13,612 --> 00:09:15,113
I can't lie to my phone.
249
00:09:15,114 --> 00:09:18,399
Oh, sweetie, I totally understand.
250
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,484
Delete it!
251
00:09:19,485 --> 00:09:20,985
It's not that easy, okay?
252
00:09:20,986 --> 00:09:22,436
You're not just deleting a number,
253
00:09:22,437 --> 00:09:24,572
you're deleting a part of your life.
254
00:09:24,573 --> 00:09:25,606
You know, all those
255
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:27,125
memories, all those experiences.
256
00:09:27,126 --> 00:09:30,044
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.
257
00:09:30,045 --> 00:09:31,963
I know, sweetie.
258
00:09:31,964 --> 00:09:33,131
I know.
259
00:09:33,132 --> 00:09:34,382
Delete it!
260
00:09:34,383 --> 00:09:36,000
Okay, if it's that easy,
261
00:09:36,001 --> 00:09:37,952
I'm gonna delete one of
your numbers from your phone,
262
00:09:37,953 --> 00:09:38,836
see how you like it.
263
00:09:38,837 --> 00:09:39,887
My "plezh."
264
00:09:39,888 --> 00:09:41,806
If you can find a number in there
265
00:09:41,807 --> 00:09:44,125
that I don't call regularly,
I'll gladly delete it.
266
00:09:44,126 --> 00:09:45,727
Super Kicks Karate.
267
00:09:45,728 --> 00:09:46,761
No, not that one.
268
00:09:46,762 --> 00:09:48,396
That's my dojo.
269
00:09:48,397 --> 00:09:49,897
You have a dojo?
270
00:09:49,898 --> 00:09:52,934
I took an introductory karate class.
271
00:09:52,935 --> 00:09:54,569
(Kids grunt)
272
00:09:54,570 --> 00:09:56,070
Oops, wrong room.
273
00:09:56,071 --> 00:09:59,157
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?
274
00:09:59,158 --> 00:10:00,942
What's the matter, lady?
275
00:10:00,943 --> 00:10:02,143
You scared?
276
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:03,161
(Chuckles)
277
00:10:03,162 --> 00:10:04,195
Of you? Please.
278
00:10:04,196 --> 00:10:05,913
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
279
00:10:05,914 --> 00:10:07,966
I hated kindergarten.
280
00:10:07,967 --> 00:10:09,701
All three times.
281
00:10:09,702 --> 00:10:10,702
(Yelling)
282
00:10:10,703 --> 00:10:12,003
(Screaming)
283
00:10:12,004 --> 00:10:14,872
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.
284
00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:17,425
How long ago did you take that class?
285
00:10:17,426 --> 00:10:18,492
I don't know.
286
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,927
It was around the time
287
00:10:19,928 --> 00:10:23,431
when everyone was going, "Wassuuuuuuup!"
288
00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:24,382
(Laughs)
289
00:10:24,383 --> 00:10:26,167
How do you even remember that?
290
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:28,770
Wassuuuuuup...!
291
00:10:28,771 --> 00:10:31,889
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.
292
00:10:31,890 --> 00:10:32,724
- I might.
- No, no.
293
00:10:32,725 --> 00:10:34,058
But you keep it in your phone
294
00:10:34,059 --> 00:10:35,810
because it reminds you
of a version of yourself
295
00:10:35,811 --> 00:10:38,396
that you could be, even if
it's a version of yourself
296
00:10:38,397 --> 00:10:39,614
that you'll never become.
297
00:10:39,615 --> 00:10:40,848
And that's okay.
298
00:10:40,849 --> 00:10:42,200
No, it's not.
299
00:10:42,201 --> 00:10:43,318
Okay, you know what?
300
00:10:43,319 --> 00:10:45,320
There, gone.
301
00:10:45,321 --> 00:10:46,537
Your move, Scherbatsky.
302
00:10:46,538 --> 00:10:47,789
(Sighs)
303
00:10:47,790 --> 00:10:49,874
I finally know what your kind goes through.
304
00:10:49,875 --> 00:10:51,409
I get it now.
305
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:53,694
For the last time,
I don't care how big it was,
306
00:10:53,695 --> 00:10:55,529
it is not the same as giving birth.
307
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:57,498
Ew. No.
308
00:10:57,499 --> 00:10:59,467
Barney's been "putting the moves" on Ted.
309
00:10:59,468 --> 00:11:02,136
Oh, that sucks.
310
00:11:02,137 --> 00:11:04,422
Although I like you two together.
311
00:11:04,423 --> 00:11:07,141
No, he's been doing it to try
to get Ted to design
312
00:11:07,142 --> 00:11:09,260
the new GNB tower.
313
00:11:09,261 --> 00:11:10,544
Robin:
Which moves are we talking about?
314
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:12,613
Did he do the thing where
he brags on himself
315
00:11:12,614 --> 00:11:13,731
in the form of a complaint?
316
00:11:13,732 --> 00:11:15,099
Man, every time
317
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,151
I take out my business card
318
00:11:17,152 --> 00:11:20,388
and women see the GNB logo,
they throw themselves at me.
319
00:11:20,389 --> 00:11:21,606
I miss the chase.
320
00:11:21,607 --> 00:11:23,241
It sucks!
321
00:11:23,242 --> 00:11:24,542
Man, the courtside Knicks seats
322
00:11:24,543 --> 00:11:28,529
that are available to all
upper level GNB employees
323
00:11:28,530 --> 00:11:30,081
are too close to the action.
324
00:11:30,082 --> 00:11:31,749
I keep getting sweat on my suit.
325
00:11:31,750 --> 00:11:33,034
It sucks!
326
00:11:33,035 --> 00:11:34,168
Man,
327
00:11:34,169 --> 00:11:36,904
GNB's benefits package is so comprehensive
328
00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,474
it gives me the freedom to see
any doctor I want.
329
00:11:39,475 --> 00:11:41,259
It sucks!
330
00:11:41,260 --> 00:11:42,410
He did.
331
00:11:42,411 --> 00:11:44,095
And the intense eye contact thing?
332
00:11:44,096 --> 00:11:45,630
So, Ted,
333
00:11:45,631 --> 00:11:49,133
would you like to split
some jalapeño poppers?
334
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:55,440
Okay.
335
00:11:55,441 --> 00:11:56,590
Yep.
336
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,643
And the thing where he establishs intimacy
337
00:11:58,644 --> 00:12:00,311
through physical contact?
338
00:12:00,312 --> 00:12:02,480
You know why jalapeño poppers are so good?
339
00:12:02,481 --> 00:12:04,031
It's the cream cheese.
340
00:12:04,032 --> 00:12:06,951
That is so true.
341
00:12:06,952 --> 00:12:08,202
Yeah...
342
00:12:08,203 --> 00:12:10,905
Cream cheese has a mild flav... Flavor
343
00:12:10,906 --> 00:12:15,042
so it... It balances out
the spiciness of the jal...
344
00:12:15,043 --> 00:12:17,278
The spiciness of the...
345
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:19,547
Dude!
346
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:21,799
So at any point in this
347
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,784
did you say, "Barney,
I know what you're doing,
348
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,186
and it's not going to work.
349
00:12:25,187 --> 00:12:26,671
I am not taking that job?"
350
00:12:26,672 --> 00:12:29,690
Well, I mean, not exactly in those...
351
00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,092
You're loving this.
352
00:12:31,093 --> 00:12:32,126
No.
353
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,361
You are.
354
00:12:33,362 --> 00:12:35,629
You're loving the attention.
355
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,483
It's nice to be wanted, okay?
356
00:12:38,484 --> 00:12:41,686
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.
357
00:12:41,687 --> 00:12:43,037
Oh, that's right, you didn't.
358
00:12:43,038 --> 00:12:44,238
Barney did!
359
00:12:44,239 --> 00:12:45,640
Robin: Oh, Teddy,
360
00:12:45,641 --> 00:12:47,641
you are so going to spread your legs
361
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,477
and design that building.
(Gasps)
362
00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:51,696
I am not that kind of architect.
363
00:12:51,697 --> 00:12:54,148
(Laughing)
364
00:12:54,149 --> 00:12:57,651
So get this... Robin never
deleted Don's number.
365
00:12:57,652 --> 00:12:58,703
Wait...
366
00:12:58,704 --> 00:12:59,837
Boo!
367
00:12:59,838 --> 00:13:01,255
Oh, everyone thinks it's so easy.
368
00:13:01,256 --> 00:13:02,373
Give me your phone.
369
00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:03,541
Let's delete one of yours.
370
00:13:03,542 --> 00:13:04,792
Okay.
371
00:13:04,793 --> 00:13:06,160
No problem.
372
00:13:06,161 --> 00:13:08,212
If you can find a number that I don't need
373
00:13:08,213 --> 00:13:09,931
or shouldn't have in here, be my guest,
374
00:13:09,932 --> 00:13:11,516
but good luck.
375
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:13,384
I keep my phone tight.
376
00:13:13,385 --> 00:13:15,386
- Edwin.
- Oh, no, not that one.
377
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:18,222
That's the booker for the club
that my band plays at.
378
00:13:18,223 --> 00:13:20,258
You know, my all-lawyer
funk band... You remember...
379
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:23,060
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.
380
00:13:23,061 --> 00:13:27,815
♪ Your witness lied
so your case is sunk, hah! ♪
381
00:13:27,816 --> 00:13:31,702
♪ I sentence you to a life of funk ♪
382
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:33,621
♪ counselors, how do you plead? ♪
383
00:13:33,622 --> 00:13:35,490
All:
* funky. *
384
00:13:35,491 --> 00:13:38,025
Kick it.
385
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,965
You guys played one gig four years ago.
386
00:13:43,966 --> 00:13:45,416
I'm deleting it.
387
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:47,752
No, no, we're gonna... We're
gonna play another gig again.
388
00:13:47,753 --> 00:13:48,970
Probably really soon.
389
00:13:48,971 --> 00:13:51,205
It's just we all got super busy, and...
390
00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:55,309
We're not going to play
another gig again, are we?
391
00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:57,061
Probably not, baby.
392
00:13:57,062 --> 00:13:59,347
See, it's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?
393
00:13:59,348 --> 00:14:01,983
Well, it's just that without
that number in my phone,
394
00:14:01,984 --> 00:14:03,384
I'm just a corporate lawyer
395
00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:06,404
working 60 very un-funky hours a week.
396
00:14:06,405 --> 00:14:08,022
Sorry, Marshall.
397
00:14:08,023 --> 00:14:10,658
But if I have to, you have to.
398
00:14:14,746 --> 00:14:16,113
(Beep)
399
00:14:16,832 --> 00:14:18,966
Okay. Your turn.
400
00:14:20,536 --> 00:14:23,287
(Sighs)
401
00:14:31,930 --> 00:14:33,381
Barney, I gotta tell you something.
402
00:14:33,382 --> 00:14:35,216
Oh, that reminds me.
403
00:14:35,217 --> 00:14:37,935
I got you a little airplane.
404
00:14:37,936 --> 00:14:40,805
It represents the spirit of adventure.
405
00:14:40,806 --> 00:14:42,640
Do you like it, Ted?
406
00:14:43,442 --> 00:14:45,343
Do you?
407
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:46,394
Stop it.
408
00:14:46,395 --> 00:14:47,695
Stop looking at me
409
00:14:47,696 --> 00:14:50,398
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.
410
00:14:50,399 --> 00:14:52,650
I'm not designing the GNB Tower.
411
00:14:52,651 --> 00:14:53,868
Yeah, I know.
412
00:14:53,869 --> 00:14:54,969
You turned it down.
413
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:56,103
We hired someone else.
414
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,338
Oh.
415
00:14:58,740 --> 00:14:59,824
Oh.
416
00:14:59,825 --> 00:15:01,075
Can you believe it?
417
00:15:01,076 --> 00:15:02,943
He's resorting
to the oldest move in the book.
418
00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:05,129
The classic, "pretend to take
the offer off the table
419
00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,380
so I'll want it more."
420
00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:07,548
It's so obvious, right?
421
00:15:07,549 --> 00:15:09,450
As if that's going to make me be like,
422
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:11,836
"oh, God, I never should have said no."
423
00:15:11,837 --> 00:15:13,354
It's not a move, dude.
424
00:15:13,355 --> 00:15:16,691
I executed the paperwork for
the new architect this morning.
425
00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:18,976
Barney wasn't lying.
426
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:22,415
Oh, God, I never should have said no!
427
00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:28,500
Come on, GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.
428
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:29,993
This is just one of Barney's moves.
429
00:15:29,994 --> 00:15:31,227
It's not a move, dude.
430
00:15:31,228 --> 00:15:32,812
The senior partners were getting impatient.
431
00:15:32,813 --> 00:15:35,465
I thought you didn't even want the job.
432
00:15:35,466 --> 00:15:36,348
I didn't!
433
00:15:36,768 --> 00:15:40,886
I don't! I don't. I don't!
434
00:15:40,887 --> 00:15:43,138
- Okay, I'll do it!
- What?
435
00:15:43,139 --> 00:15:45,024
Ted, it's too late.
436
00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:46,141
I'll design it for half
437
00:15:46,142 --> 00:15:47,776
of what you're paying the other architect.
438
00:15:47,777 --> 00:15:50,646
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.
439
00:15:50,647 --> 00:15:52,865
Lobby stuff.
440
00:15:52,866 --> 00:15:54,116
Wow, half?
441
00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:55,985
Ted,
442
00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:57,769
on behalf of Goliath National Bank...
443
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:58,954
Okay, it's a move.
444
00:15:58,955 --> 00:16:00,572
- What?
- Dude!
445
00:16:00,573 --> 00:16:01,991
There is no other architect.
446
00:16:01,992 --> 00:16:03,459
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied.
447
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:04,776
I was being Barney's wingman,
448
00:16:04,777 --> 00:16:06,578
and I never get to be the wingman.
449
00:16:06,579 --> 00:16:08,113
You guys lied to me?
450
00:16:08,114 --> 00:16:09,498
You're the world's worst wingman.
451
00:16:09,499 --> 00:16:12,217
You know what? I'm out of here.
452
00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:14,119
I can do better. Take me back.
453
00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,671
You son of a bitch!
454
00:16:15,672 --> 00:16:18,173
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.
455
00:16:18,174 --> 00:16:21,176
We only lied to you to make you
realize that you want this job.
456
00:16:21,177 --> 00:16:22,344
No, I don't.
457
00:16:22,345 --> 00:16:24,096
I mean, I know I said I did,
458
00:16:24,097 --> 00:16:26,231
but that's only because I fell for the same
459
00:16:26,232 --> 00:16:28,100
creepy, pickup artist voodoo of yours
460
00:16:28,101 --> 00:16:29,184
that countless women...
461
00:16:29,185 --> 00:16:30,302
236.
462
00:16:30,303 --> 00:16:31,520
Before me fell for.
463
00:16:31,521 --> 00:16:32,738
Wow, respect.
464
00:16:32,739 --> 00:16:37,693
No... Ted... You want to do this, okay?
465
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:39,528
You're just scared of getting hurt again.
466
00:16:39,529 --> 00:16:41,497
But you can't let fear steal your funk.
467
00:16:41,498 --> 00:16:43,749
That is good. There is a song in there.
468
00:16:43,750 --> 00:16:45,067
Excuse me.
469
00:16:46,786 --> 00:16:48,537
Come on, Ted!
470
00:16:48,538 --> 00:16:49,788
This is your dream.
471
00:16:49,789 --> 00:16:52,824
No, it's not. Not anymore.
And you know what?
472
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:56,295
Letting go of that dream was
the best decision I ever made.
473
00:16:56,296 --> 00:16:57,429
You guys actually think
474
00:16:57,430 --> 00:16:59,481
I have some lingering itch
to be an architect?
475
00:16:59,482 --> 00:17:01,433
Work 20 hours a day and weekends?
476
00:17:01,434 --> 00:17:04,937
To get ulcers and pull my hair
out and worry and doubt myself
477
00:17:04,938 --> 00:17:06,638
and then at the end of it all,
478
00:17:06,639 --> 00:17:08,440
have the rug pulled out from under me?
479
00:17:08,441 --> 00:17:10,109
I love being a Professor, okay?
480
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,311
All that stupid crap they tell you
481
00:17:12,312 --> 00:17:13,779
about how fulfilling teaching is?
482
00:17:13,780 --> 00:17:15,114
It's all true.
483
00:17:15,115 --> 00:17:18,183
I'm happy, and I'm not letting go of that.
484
00:17:18,184 --> 00:17:19,735
My answer's no.
485
00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,958
Hey, guys.
486
00:17:25,959 --> 00:17:27,359
Where's the poop, Robin?
487
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:28,627
How do you do that?
488
00:17:28,628 --> 00:17:31,046
You are like a bomb-sniffing
dog, except with poop.
489
00:17:31,047 --> 00:17:32,581
You are a poop-sniffing dog.
490
00:17:32,582 --> 00:17:34,616
I think that's just called a dog.
491
00:17:34,617 --> 00:17:36,418
Where's the poop, Robin?
492
00:17:36,419 --> 00:17:39,338
Fine. I called don again.
493
00:17:40,507 --> 00:17:43,092
Hey, Don! It's Robin again.
494
00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:45,177
Look, I am sorry for all the calls.
495
00:17:45,178 --> 00:17:46,812
It's just, I saw you on the news,
496
00:17:46,813 --> 00:17:48,931
and it made me a little crazy for a minute.
497
00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:50,599
(Chuckles)
498
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,385
I guess I wasn't as over
our breakup as I thought.
499
00:17:53,386 --> 00:17:55,254
But I want to say,
500
00:17:55,255 --> 00:17:57,389
from the bottom of my heart,
501
00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:59,108
I am going to kill you.
502
00:17:59,109 --> 00:18:00,242
No... no, I'm not.
503
00:18:00,243 --> 00:18:02,528
I am happy for you.
504
00:18:02,529 --> 00:18:05,330
And that asian slut on your Facebook page.
505
00:18:05,331 --> 00:18:07,483
She's dead, too.
506
00:18:07,484 --> 00:18:09,952
I thought you deleted his number.
507
00:18:09,953 --> 00:18:12,004
I did, but it turns out, I memorized it.
508
00:18:12,005 --> 00:18:14,339
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.
509
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:15,574
Well, you have to try.
510
00:18:15,575 --> 00:18:16,992
If you ever want to have closure...
511
00:18:16,993 --> 00:18:18,594
I am never going to have closure.
512
00:18:18,595 --> 00:18:20,929
Okay? Closure doesn't exist.
513
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:23,015
Okay, one day, Don and I
are moving in together,
514
00:18:23,016 --> 00:18:24,216
and the next thing I know,
515
00:18:24,217 --> 00:18:26,084
he's on a plane to Chicago.
516
00:18:26,085 --> 00:18:28,937
It just... ended.
517
00:18:28,938 --> 00:18:32,307
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,
518
00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:34,776
it will have never not happened.
519
00:18:34,777 --> 00:18:36,912
Don and I will always be a loose end.
520
00:18:36,913 --> 00:18:38,730
We'll always be...
521
00:18:38,731 --> 00:18:41,066
Unfinished.
522
00:18:43,019 --> 00:18:45,637
Gaudi, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream,
523
00:18:45,638 --> 00:18:47,656
but that's not usually how it goes.
524
00:18:47,657 --> 00:18:50,159
I mean, usually, it isn't a speeding bus
525
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,462
that keeps the brown, pointy,
weird church from getting built.
526
00:18:53,463 --> 00:18:56,198
Ted:
Most of the time, it's just too difficult
527
00:18:56,199 --> 00:18:59,134
or too expensive, or too scary.
528
00:18:59,135 --> 00:19:02,254
It's only once you've stopped
529
00:19:02,255 --> 00:19:05,757
that you realize how hard
it is to start again.
530
00:19:05,758 --> 00:19:09,628
So you force yourself not to want it.
531
00:19:09,629 --> 00:19:11,230
But it's always there.
532
00:19:11,231 --> 00:19:14,016
And until you finish it, it will always be...
533
00:19:14,017 --> 00:19:16,652
♪ you keep on searching ♪
534
00:19:16,653 --> 00:19:23,659
♪ while you're waiting for that sound ♪
535
00:19:23,660 --> 00:19:25,160
♪ what you find ♪
536
00:19:25,161 --> 00:19:28,530
♪ ain't what you had in mind... ♪
537
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:33,418
Hey, Barney. Hey, Rachel.
538
00:19:33,419 --> 00:19:36,004
Rachel, why aren't you in class?
539
00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:37,222
Why aren't you in class?
540
00:19:37,223 --> 00:19:40,209
Yeah, Ted. Why aren't you in class?
541
00:19:44,964 --> 00:19:46,798
You son of a bitch.
542
00:19:48,101 --> 00:19:49,551
I'll call Marshall.
543
00:19:49,552 --> 00:19:50,969
We'll draw up the contract.
544
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:52,221
Not so fast.
545
00:19:52,222 --> 00:19:53,838
I'm not that easy.
546
00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:56,642
Narrator:
And so I made Barney break his golden rule.
547
00:19:56,643 --> 00:19:58,277
I made him take me out to dinner
548
00:19:58,278 --> 00:20:02,731
before I finally gave him
the thing he always got.
549
00:20:02,732 --> 00:20:04,349
Yes.
550
00:20:05,385 --> 00:20:08,420
And even though it didn't happen right away...
551
00:20:08,421 --> 00:20:11,856
Announcer:
And now, the 11:00 news with Don Frank.
552
00:20:15,378 --> 00:20:17,095
Man (On phone):
¿Bueno?
553
00:20:17,096 --> 00:20:18,914
Who is this?
554
00:20:18,915 --> 00:20:20,499
No hablo inglés.
555
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:21,900
¿Quién es?
556
00:20:21,901 --> 00:20:24,486
I'm sorry. Is this 917-456...
557
00:20:24,487 --> 00:20:26,555
I'm sorry, 465...
558
00:20:26,556 --> 00:20:28,123
No, wait.
559
00:20:29,792 --> 00:20:33,178
Robin finally got some closure, too.
560
00:20:33,679 --> 00:20:36,097
Sorry. Wrong number.
561
00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:42,036
Finished with that.
562
00:20:52,914 --> 00:20:54,147
Hey, punk!
563
00:20:54,148 --> 00:20:55,498
Bit of advice.
564
00:20:55,499 --> 00:20:58,969
Next time you step on a
kindergarten teacher's neck,
565
00:20:58,970 --> 00:21:01,338
you better finish the job.
566
00:21:01,339 --> 00:21:02,839
I knew this day would come.
567
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:06,000
Sync by fant0m, corrected by gloriabg
www.addic7ed.com