1
00:00:01,100 --> 00:00:03,300
Kids, in my early
days of being a Professor,

2
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:04,800
I had one simple goal:

3
00:00:04,900 --> 00:00:06,900
Give a lecture that changes someone's life.

4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:10,600
Then one afternoon in 2010,
I achieved that goal.

5
00:00:10,674 --> 00:00:12,258
Unfinished.

6
00:00:12,259 --> 00:00:15,378
Of all the words you could use
to describe La Sagrada Familia...

7
00:00:15,379 --> 00:00:18,314
Brown, pointy, weird...

8
00:00:18,915 --> 00:00:21,316
The one that really seems
to stick is "unfinished."

9
00:00:21,317 --> 00:00:22,402
Why?

10
00:00:22,403 --> 00:00:27,407
Because on June 7, 1926,
the architect Antoni Gaudi...

11
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Whose beard was also brown,
pointy, weird and unfinished...

12
00:00:32,463 --> 00:00:35,131
Was run over by a bus.

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And so, his greatest masterpiece
would remain forever...

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00:00:42,400 --> 00:00:44,457
But first, let's back up a few days.

15
00:00:44,558 --> 00:00:47,443
Ted, look across the bar.

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00:00:47,444 --> 00:00:49,962
Three chicks: one hot, one kind of hot

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00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,998
and one who I'm assuming is really funny.

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We ride!

19
00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:56,903
What's wrong?

20
00:00:56,904 --> 00:00:57,954
I don't know.

21
00:00:57,955 --> 00:00:59,522
Got a burger coming.

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Bro, I told you,

23
00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:03,860
if you ever need a wingman, I'm your guy.

24
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Yeah, I'm not going to go
through that again.

25
00:01:06,497 --> 00:01:08,247
Hi.

26
00:01:08,248 --> 00:01:09,832
Barney Stinson.

27
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:12,418
And I'm Marshall, Barney's wingman.

28
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Thank you for your time.

29
00:01:19,460 --> 00:01:21,894
Fine. I'll have a three-way
with hot and kind of hot

30
00:01:21,895 --> 00:01:23,012
while Giggles works the camera.

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I ride!

32
00:01:25,399 --> 00:01:26,849
So, get this:

33
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,935
Last night, I was watching TV,
and it turns out,

34
00:01:28,936 --> 00:01:30,436
some random satellite channel

35
00:01:30,437 --> 00:01:33,122
picks up a certain local Chicago newscast.

36
00:01:33,123 --> 00:01:36,659
And now,
the 11:00 news with Don Frank.

37
00:01:36,660 --> 00:01:37,610
Boo!

38
00:01:37,611 --> 00:01:39,245
Oh, man, it's bad enough

39
00:01:39,246 --> 00:01:40,913
to have to go through a horrible breakup,

40
00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:43,082
but then have that person
pop up on your TV?

41
00:01:43,083 --> 00:01:44,333
Are you okay?

44
00:01:49,423 --> 00:01:51,290
I've moved on.

45
00:01:53,127 --> 00:01:56,462
Finished with that.

46
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It was a peaceful moment of closure.

47
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That's great.

48
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:03,469
- Good on you.
- Yeah, thank you.

49
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:04,587
Where's the poop, Robin?

50
00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:05,822
Excuse me?

51
00:02:05,823 --> 00:02:08,474
When I was a kid, I had a dog named Bean.

52
00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:11,360
Whenever he made the face
that you're making right now,

53
00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:14,831
you just knew he pooped
somewhere in the house.

54
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:17,433
Where's the poop, Robin?

55
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:19,535
I don't know what you're talking
about. Where's the poop, Robin?

56
00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:21,154
- There's no poop.
- Where's the poop?

57
00:02:21,155 --> 00:02:22,438
Okay.

58
00:02:22,439 --> 00:02:24,957
So it wasn't entirely
a peaceful moment of closure.

59
00:02:24,958 --> 00:02:27,627
Hey, Don, here's some breaking news:

60
00:02:27,628 --> 00:02:31,280
There's a zit breaking out
on your forehead.

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00:02:34,117 --> 00:02:35,635
Finished with that.

62
00:02:39,006 --> 00:02:42,091
Look, I'm not proud,
but Don left so quickly

63
00:02:42,092 --> 00:02:44,510
that I never got the chance
to have that final showdown.

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00:02:44,511 --> 00:02:48,964
So yelling at him, even on TV, felt kind of good.

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00:02:48,965 --> 00:02:50,266
And you know what?

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00:02:50,267 --> 00:02:53,186
Now I truly am over him.

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- That's great.
- Thank you.

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00:02:54,822 --> 00:02:55,855
Good on you.

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00:02:55,856 --> 00:02:57,156
Where's the poop, Robin?

70
00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:58,524
Damn it!

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00:02:58,525 --> 00:03:01,744
Okay, in the process
of truly getting over him,

72
00:03:01,745 --> 00:03:04,030
I may have called him

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00:03:04,031 --> 00:03:07,633
and left an... Indelicate voice mail.

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I am gonna kill you.

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00:03:09,887 --> 00:03:13,289
I'm gonna fly to Chicago, kill you,

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00:03:13,290 --> 00:03:18,060
put your stupid face
on a deep dish pizza and eat it.

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00:03:18,061 --> 00:03:20,213
And then maybe catch a Bears game.

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00:03:20,214 --> 00:03:24,600
But mostly the killing
and eating your face thing.

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00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:25,834
Give me your phone.

80
00:03:25,835 --> 00:03:27,470
We're deleting Don's number.

81
00:03:27,471 --> 00:03:28,771
Don't worry.

82
00:03:28,772 --> 00:03:30,339
I am never doing that again.

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00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,574
It was a one-time thing.

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00:03:31,575 --> 00:03:32,558
Prove it.

85
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:33,559
Delete contact.

86
00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:38,147
There. Deleted.

87
00:03:38,148 --> 00:03:39,649
Oh, hey!

88
00:03:39,650 --> 00:03:41,984
Back already.

89
00:03:41,985 --> 00:03:44,070
How was flying solo?

90
00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:48,958
And by "solo," I mean
so low that you got shot down.

91
00:03:49,693 --> 00:03:51,327
Look, I didn't get shot down.

92
00:03:51,328 --> 00:03:53,596
Trust me, I'll get the yes.

93
00:03:53,597 --> 00:03:57,917
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.

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This is all

95
00:03:59,253 --> 00:04:00,253
part of the plan.

96
00:04:00,254 --> 00:04:01,504
After initial contact,

97
00:04:01,505 --> 00:04:03,472
I'm now in the ignoring phase.

98
00:04:03,473 --> 00:04:05,992
Barney, why can't you just
take a girl out to dinner

99
00:04:05,993 --> 00:04:07,193
like a normal person?

100
00:04:07,194 --> 00:04:11,847
Golden rule: I do not
buy dinner to get the yes.

101
00:04:11,848 --> 00:04:14,617
Dinner's a very intimate activity.

102
00:04:14,618 --> 00:04:15,735
It requires

103
00:04:15,736 --> 00:04:18,571
a level of connection and eye contact

104
00:04:18,572 --> 00:04:19,789
that sex just doesn't.

105
00:04:20,524 --> 00:04:21,774
Call me old-fashioned,

106
00:04:21,775 --> 00:04:24,660
but I need to have sex
with a girl at least three times

107
00:04:24,661 --> 00:04:27,029
before I'll even consider
having dinner with her.

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00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,115
The next day, at the university,

109
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I had a surprise visitor.

110
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What are you doing here?

111
00:04:31,901 --> 00:04:33,336
Oh, God!

112
00:04:33,337 --> 00:04:34,787
You're dating one of my students.

113
00:04:34,788 --> 00:04:36,422
It's Rachel, isn't it?

114
00:04:36,423 --> 00:04:38,341
Barney, I know
she wears provocative sweaters,

115
00:04:38,342 --> 00:04:39,375
but she's 19!

116
00:04:39,376 --> 00:04:40,209
Ugh.

117
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,510
Now I'm gonna have to hear

118
00:04:41,511 --> 00:04:42,795
all about it, right?

119
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Go on, tell me every detail.

120
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No, you pent-up old perv.

121
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I brought you a present.

122
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Recognize this?

123
00:04:52,356 --> 00:04:53,889
It's my building.

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Kids, you may remember that,
a few years earlier,

125
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,736
I was chosen to design
the new Manhattan headquarters

126
00:04:59,836 --> 00:05:01,170
for Goliath National Bank.

127
00:05:01,448 --> 00:05:04,200
It was the opportunity
every architect dreams about.

128
00:05:04,201 --> 00:05:07,286
And when the project
was ultimately scrapped...

129
00:05:07,287 --> 00:05:08,955
It broke my heart.

130
00:05:08,956 --> 00:05:12,708
Do you remember how awesome
it was to be co-workers...

131
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:15,494
Nay, bro-workers?

132
00:05:15,495 --> 00:05:17,446
Wait a minute. Y... You don't mean...

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00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:20,416
Ted Mosby, it's back on.

134
00:05:20,417 --> 00:05:23,302
We're gonna build your building.

135
00:05:23,697 --> 00:05:28,797
How I Met Your Mother 6x03 -
Unfinished

136
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:41,124
This is awesome...
You're designing our new headquarters.

137
00:05:41,225 --> 00:05:43,409
Now, there will be voices that tell you

138
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,561
a hockey rink on the roof is unfeasible.

139
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:48,025
You've got to shut those voices out.

140
00:05:48,325 --> 00:05:50,825
Actually, I think I'm gonna say no.

141
00:05:50,925 --> 00:05:52,418
No? Are you kidding me?

142
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:54,420
But designing a building in New York City

143
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:55,871
is your lifelong dream.

144
00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:58,524
I do not want to work for GNB again.

145
00:05:58,525 --> 00:05:59,758
Those guys are evil.

146
00:05:59,759 --> 00:06:00,826
No offense, Marshall.

147
00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,795
Dude, none taken.

148
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:07,182
Yes, GNB is, the Empire from Star Wars.

149
00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:10,052
But the Death Star's gonna
get built either way.

150
00:06:10,053 --> 00:06:12,354
And don't you think
the architect of the Death Star

151
00:06:12,355 --> 00:06:15,007
is pretty psyched to have that
thing on his space resume?

152
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,174
I mean, yes,

153
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,843
his design was flawed in the sense

154
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,945
that a single bullet
fired into a particular vent

155
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,563
would explode the whole thing.

156
00:06:21,564 --> 00:06:23,399
For all we know,
that was the contractor's fault.

157
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:25,651
But that won't happen on
your watch... You know why?

158
00:06:25,652 --> 00:06:26,735
Because you're Ted Mosby!

159
00:06:26,736 --> 00:06:29,071
And you are gonna design
the most beautiful,

160
00:06:29,072 --> 00:06:31,623
ventless, rebel-proof
building in Manhattan,

161
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:34,243
with clearly marked emergency stops

162
00:06:34,244 --> 00:06:36,361
for every trash compactor
on the detention level.

163
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:38,831
Look, I know this is hard to understand,

164
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:42,768
but right now, I have a quiet,
simple, happy little life.

165
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,420
And I like it that way.

166
00:06:44,957 --> 00:06:46,691
I know what my answer has to be.

167
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,474
I can't take the job, Barney.

168
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:50,142
I'm done with that life.

169
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,209
No hard feelings?

170
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:53,095
Of course not.

171
00:06:53,096 --> 00:06:55,213
All right.

172
00:06:56,933 --> 00:06:58,984
- Hey, Professor Mosby.
- Hey, Rachel.

173
00:07:01,237 --> 00:07:03,405
And I thought that was the end of the story.

174
00:07:03,406 --> 00:07:04,490
But then that night...

175
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:05,441
I'm telling you,

176
00:07:05,442 --> 00:07:07,326
no architect would ever design

177
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,029
a giant exposed vent right over
a Death Star's core reactor.

178
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,229
That's Space Architecture 101.

179
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,248
It had to be the contractor.

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00:07:13,249 --> 00:07:14,500
Barney, back me up.

181
00:07:15,752 --> 00:07:16,952
Barney.

182
00:07:17,904 --> 00:07:19,838
Dude, this is important.

183
00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,023
I need another drink.

184
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,458
Marshall, you want anything?

185
00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:24,910
No, I'm fine.

186
00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:29,198
Okay, I get that he's mad at me
for turning down the job,

187
00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,482
but acting like I'm not even here?

188
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,751
Wait, you turned down the job? When?

189
00:07:32,752 --> 00:07:33,585
This morning.

190
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,021
That's so weird.

191
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,607
Just, like, an hour ago,
when we were leaving work...

192
00:07:38,608 --> 00:07:40,759
So, you still think
Ted's gonna take the job?

193
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,361
Please.

194
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:43,579
I'll get the yes.

195
00:07:43,580 --> 00:07:47,816
Barney Stinson always gets the yes.

196
00:07:49,319 --> 00:07:50,652
Huh.

197
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:52,871
Am I wrong or is that
exactly what Barney says

198
00:07:52,872 --> 00:07:54,690
when he's putting the moves on a girl?

199
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,941
Exactly. I mean, it's almost like

200
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,159
he's putting the moves on you.

201
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,460
Yeah, more like the opposite.

202
00:07:58,461 --> 00:08:01,280
He's been ignoring me all night.

203
00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:03,198
- Oh.
- Oh.

204
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:06,101
Barney wants me to take the job so bad

205
00:08:06,102 --> 00:08:07,286
he's putting the moves on me?

206
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,788
I hope that's his end game.

207
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:10,806
Actually, I don't.

208
00:08:10,807 --> 00:08:12,558
I like you two together.

209
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:13,592
I don't buy it.

210
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:15,177
That's crazy, even for Barney.

211
00:08:15,178 --> 00:08:16,261
Okay, well, think about it.

212
00:08:16,262 --> 00:08:17,896
We've seen his moves countless times.

213
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,566
What does he do after
he's done ignoring a girl?

214
00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:22,568
Chrissy, I love your glasses.

215
00:08:22,569 --> 00:08:23,602
Really?

216
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:24,803
They totally pull focus up

217
00:08:24,804 --> 00:08:26,872
from that whole chin
situation you got going on.

218
00:08:27,429 --> 00:08:28,813
To Chrissy.

219
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:30,993
The backhanded compliment

220
00:08:30,994 --> 00:08:32,881
to lower her self-esteem...
A proven winner.

221
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:33,836
But Barney hasn't done...

222
00:08:33,858 --> 00:08:35,859
Ted, I admire your loyalty.

223
00:08:36,533 --> 00:08:38,330
You've had that hairstyle forever.

224
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,086
You don't care that it's out of fashion

225
00:08:40,598 --> 00:08:42,483
or that it's been co-opted
by the lesbian community.

226
00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:43,989
You stick with it.

227
00:08:44,791 --> 00:08:45,757
To Ted.

228
00:08:46,593 --> 00:08:48,493
Hey, Lily!

229
00:08:48,494 --> 00:08:51,378
Don't "hey, Lily" me.

230
00:08:51,638 --> 00:08:54,557
I smelled poop all the way
from the hallway.

231
00:08:55,251 --> 00:08:56,580
Oh, no, not this again.

232
00:08:56,610 --> 00:08:57,977
Where's the poop, Robin?

233
00:08:58,221 --> 00:09:00,973
Okay, I left Don another message.

234
00:09:01,858 --> 00:09:03,175
"This just in"

235
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,508
is what I'm gonna say

236
00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:06,489
when I'm stabbing you".

237
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:08,280
But that's impossible.

238
00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,514
You deleted his number.

239
00:09:09,515 --> 00:09:10,482
I tried to.

240
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:11,617
But then this thing popped up

241
00:09:11,618 --> 00:09:13,351
on my phone that said, "are you sure?"

242
00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,536
And I wasn't sure.

243
00:09:14,537 --> 00:09:16,038
I can't lie to my phone.

244
00:09:16,039 --> 00:09:19,324
Oh, sweetie, I totally understand.

245
00:09:19,325 --> 00:09:20,409
Delete it!

246
00:09:20,410 --> 00:09:21,910
It's not that easy, okay?

247
00:09:21,911 --> 00:09:23,361
You're not just deleting a number,

248
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,497
you're deleting a part of your life.

249
00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:26,531
You know, all those

250
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:28,050
memories, all those experiences.

251
00:09:28,051 --> 00:09:30,969
It's like you're admitting
they're gone forever.

252
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,888
I know, sweetie.

253
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:34,056
I know.

254
00:09:34,057 --> 00:09:35,307
Delete it!

255
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,925
Okay, if it's that easy,

256
00:09:36,926 --> 00:09:38,877
I'm gonna delete one of
your numbers from your phone,

257
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:39,761
see how you like it.

258
00:09:39,762 --> 00:09:40,812
My "plezh."

259
00:09:40,813 --> 00:09:42,731
If you can find a number in there

260
00:09:42,732 --> 00:09:45,050
that I don't call regularly,
I'll gladly delete it.

261
00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:46,652
Super Kicks Karate.

262
00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:47,686
No, not that one.

263
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:49,321
That's my dojo.

264
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,822
You have a dojo?

265
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:53,859
I took an introductory karate class.

266
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:56,995
Oops, wrong room.

267
00:09:56,996 --> 00:10:00,082
Where do the grown-ups go
for the real karate class?

268
00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,867
What's the matter, lady?

269
00:10:01,868 --> 00:10:03,068
You scared?

270
00:10:04,087 --> 00:10:05,120
Of you? Please.

271
00:10:05,121 --> 00:10:06,838
I'm a kindergarten teacher.

272
00:10:06,839 --> 00:10:08,891
I hated kindergarten.

273
00:10:08,892 --> 00:10:10,626
All three times.

274
00:10:12,929 --> 00:10:15,797
But I'm totally gonna
sign up for more lessons.

275
00:10:15,798 --> 00:10:18,350
How long ago did you take that class?

276
00:10:18,351 --> 00:10:19,417
I don't know.

277
00:10:19,418 --> 00:10:20,852
It was around the time

278
00:10:20,853 --> 00:10:24,356
when everyone was going, "Wassuuuuuuup!"

279
00:10:25,308 --> 00:10:27,092
How do you even remember that?

280
00:10:27,093 --> 00:10:29,695
Wassuuuuuup...!

281
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:32,814
Lily, this is a number
that you will never dial again.

282
00:10:32,815 --> 00:10:33,649
- I might.
- No, no.

283
00:10:33,650 --> 00:10:34,983
But you keep it in your phone

284
00:10:34,984 --> 00:10:36,735
because it reminds you
of a version of yourself

285
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,321
that you could be, even if
it's a version of yourself

286
00:10:39,322 --> 00:10:40,539
that you'll never become.

287
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,773
And that's okay.

288
00:10:41,774 --> 00:10:43,125
No, it's not.

289
00:10:43,126 --> 00:10:44,243
Okay, you know what?

290
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,391
There, gone.

291
00:10:45,736 --> 00:10:46,952
Your move, Scherbatsky.

292
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,799
I finally know what your kind goes through.

293
00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,334
I get it now.

294
00:10:52,335 --> 00:10:54,619
For the last time,
I don't care how big it was,

295
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,454
it is not the same as giving birth.

296
00:10:56,455 --> 00:10:58,423
Ew. No.

297
00:10:58,424 --> 00:11:00,392
Barney's been "putting the moves" on Ted.

298
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:03,061
Oh, that sucks.

299
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:05,347
Although I like you two together.

300
00:11:05,348 --> 00:11:08,066
No, he's been doing it to try
to get Ted to design

301
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:10,185
the new GNB tower.

302
00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:11,469
Which moves are we talking about?

303
00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:13,538
Did he do the thing where
he brags on himself

304
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:14,656
in the form of a complaint?

305
00:11:14,657 --> 00:11:16,024
Man, every time

306
00:11:16,025 --> 00:11:18,076
I take out my business card

307
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:21,313
and women see the GNB logo,
they throw themselves at me.

308
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:22,531
I miss the chase.

309
00:11:22,532 --> 00:11:24,166
It sucks!

310
00:11:24,998 --> 00:11:26,598
Man, the courtside Knicks seats

311
00:11:26,706 --> 00:11:29,030
that are available to all
upper level GNB employees

312
00:11:29,137 --> 00:11:30,688
are too close to the action.

313
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:32,674
I keep getting sweat on my suit.

314
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:33,959
It sucks!

315
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,093
Man,

316
00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,829
GNB's benefits package is so comprehensive

317
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:40,399
it gives me the freedom to see
any doctor I want.

318
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,184
It sucks!

319
00:11:42,185 --> 00:11:43,335
He did.

320
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,020
And the intense eye contact thing?

321
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:46,555
So, Ted,

322
00:11:46,556 --> 00:11:50,058
would you like to split
some jalapeño poppers?

323
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:56,365
Okay.

324
00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:57,515
Yep.

325
00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:59,568
And the thing where he establishs intimacy

326
00:11:59,569 --> 00:12:01,236
through physical contact?

327
00:12:01,237 --> 00:12:03,405
You know why jalapeño poppers are so good?

328
00:12:03,406 --> 00:12:04,956
It's the cream cheese.

329
00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:07,876
That is so true.

330
00:12:07,877 --> 00:12:09,127
Yeah...

331
00:12:09,128 --> 00:12:11,830
Cream cheese has a mild flav... Flavor

332
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:15,967
so it... It balances out
the spiciness of the jal...

333
00:12:15,968 --> 00:12:18,203
The spiciness of the...

334
00:12:18,204 --> 00:12:20,472
Dude!

335
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,724
So at any point in this

336
00:12:22,725 --> 00:12:24,365
did you say, "Barney,
I know what you're doing,

337
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:25,220
and it's not going to work.

338
00:12:25,358 --> 00:12:26,842
I am not taking that job?"

339
00:12:27,597 --> 00:12:30,615
Well, I mean, not exactly in those...

340
00:12:30,616 --> 00:12:32,017
You're loving this.

341
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:33,051
No.

342
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,286
You are.

343
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:36,554
You're loving the attention.

344
00:12:36,555 --> 00:12:39,408
It's nice to be wanted, okay?

345
00:12:39,409 --> 00:12:42,611
And, yes, this is a new vest.
Thank you all for noticing.

346
00:12:42,612 --> 00:12:43,962
Oh, that's right, you didn't.

347
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:45,163
Barney did!

348
00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:46,565
Oh, Teddy,

349
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,566
you are so going to spread your legs

350
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:50,402
and design that building.

351
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,621
I am not that kind of architect.

352
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:58,576
So get this... Robin never
deleted Don's number.

353
00:12:58,577 --> 00:12:59,628
Wait...

354
00:12:59,629 --> 00:13:00,762
Boo!

355
00:13:00,763 --> 00:13:02,180
Oh, everyone thinks it's so easy.

356
00:13:02,181 --> 00:13:03,298
Give me your phone.

357
00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:04,466
Let's delete one of yours.

358
00:13:04,467 --> 00:13:05,717
Okay.

359
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,085
No problem.

360
00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:09,137
If you can find a number that I don't need

361
00:13:09,138 --> 00:13:10,856
or shouldn't have in here, be my guest,

362
00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:12,441
but good luck.

363
00:13:12,442 --> 00:13:14,309
I keep my phone tight.

364
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,311
- Edwin.
- Oh, no, not that one.

365
00:13:16,312 --> 00:13:19,147
That's the booker for the club
that my band plays at.

366
00:13:19,148 --> 00:13:21,183
You know, my all-lawyer
funk band... You remember...

367
00:13:21,184 --> 00:13:23,985
The Funk, the Whole Funk
and Nothing but the Funk.

368
00:13:23,986 --> 00:13:28,740
♪ Your witness lied
so your case is sunk, hah! ♪

369
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:32,627
♪ I sentence you to a life of funk ♪

370
00:13:32,628 --> 00:13:34,546
♪ counselors, how do you plead? ♪

371
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:36,415
♪ funky. ♪

372
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,950
Kick it.

373
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,890
You guys played one gig four years ago.

374
00:13:44,891 --> 00:13:46,341
I'm deleting it.

375
00:13:46,342 --> 00:13:48,677
No, no, we're gonna... We're
gonna play another gig again.

376
00:13:48,678 --> 00:13:49,895
Probably really soon.

377
00:13:49,896 --> 00:13:52,130
It's just we all got super busy, and...

378
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:56,234
We're not going to play
another gig again, are we?

379
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,986
Probably not, baby.

380
00:13:57,987 --> 00:14:00,272
See, it's hard to hit
that delete button, isn't it?

381
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,908
Well, it's just that without
that number in my phone,

382
00:14:02,909 --> 00:14:04,309
I'm just a corporate lawyer

383
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:07,329
working 60 very un-funky hours a week.

384
00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:08,947
Sorry, Marshall.

385
00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:11,583
But if I have to, you have to.

386
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:19,891
Okay. Your turn.

387
00:14:32,855 --> 00:14:34,306
Barney, I gotta tell you something.

388
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,141
Oh, that reminds me.

389
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,860
I got you a little airplane.

390
00:14:38,861 --> 00:14:41,730
It represents the spirit of adventure.

391
00:14:41,731 --> 00:14:43,565
Do you like it, Ted?

392
00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,268
Do you?

393
00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:47,319
Stop it.

394
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,620
Stop looking at me

395
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,323
like I'm the only person
in the world who matters.

396
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,575
I'm not designing the GNB Tower.

397
00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:54,793
Yeah, I know.

398
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:55,894
You turned it down.

399
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,028
We hired someone else.

400
00:14:57,029 --> 00:14:58,263
Oh.

401
00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:00,749
Oh.

402
00:15:00,750 --> 00:15:02,000
Can you believe it?

403
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,868
He's resorting
to the oldest move in the book.

404
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:06,054
The classic, "pretend to take
the offer off the table

405
00:15:06,055 --> 00:15:07,305
so I'll want it more."

406
00:15:07,306 --> 00:15:08,473
It's so obvious, right?

407
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:10,375
As if that's going to make me be like,

408
00:15:10,376 --> 00:15:12,761
"oh, God, I never should have said no."

409
00:15:12,762 --> 00:15:14,279
It's not a move, dude.

410
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,616
I executed the paperwork for
the new architect this morning.

411
00:15:17,617 --> 00:15:19,901
Barney wasn't lying.

412
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:23,340
Oh, God, I never should have said no!

413
00:15:27,533 --> 00:15:30,333
Come on, GNB didn't really
hire a new architect.

414
00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:31,826
This is just one of Barney's moves.

415
00:15:31,827 --> 00:15:33,060
It's not a move, dude.

416
00:15:33,061 --> 00:15:34,645
The senior partners were getting impatient.

417
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:37,298
I thought you didn't even want the job.

418
00:15:37,299 --> 00:15:38,181
I didn't!

419
00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:42,719
I don't! I don't. I don't!

420
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:44,971
- Okay, I'll do it!
- What?

421
00:15:44,972 --> 00:15:46,857
Ted, it's too late.

422
00:15:46,858 --> 00:15:47,974
I'll design it for half

423
00:15:47,975 --> 00:15:49,609
of what you're paying the other architect.

424
00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:52,479
And you know I will do stuff
they would never do.

425
00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,698
Lobby stuff.

426
00:15:54,699 --> 00:15:55,949
Wow, half?

427
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:57,818
Ted,

428
00:15:57,819 --> 00:15:59,602
on behalf of Goliath National Bank...

429
00:15:59,603 --> 00:16:00,787
Okay, it's a move.

430
00:16:00,788 --> 00:16:02,405
- What?
- Dude!

431
00:16:02,406 --> 00:16:03,824
There is no other architect.

432
00:16:03,825 --> 00:16:05,292
I'm sorry, I'm sorry I lied.

433
00:16:05,293 --> 00:16:06,609
I was being Barney's wingman,

434
00:16:06,610 --> 00:16:08,411
and I never get to be the wingman.

435
00:16:08,412 --> 00:16:09,946
You guys lied to me?

436
00:16:09,947 --> 00:16:11,331
You're the world's worst wingman.

437
00:16:11,332 --> 00:16:14,050
You know what? I'm out of here.

438
00:16:14,051 --> 00:16:15,952
I can do better. Take me back.

439
00:16:15,953 --> 00:16:17,504
You son of a bitch!

440
00:16:17,505 --> 00:16:20,006
Look, I can't do business
with people who lie to me.

441
00:16:20,007 --> 00:16:23,009
We only lied to you to make you
realize that you want this job.

442
00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:24,177
No, I don't.

443
00:16:24,178 --> 00:16:25,929
I mean, I know I said I did,

444
00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:28,064
but that's only because I fell for the same

445
00:16:28,065 --> 00:16:29,933
creepy, pickup artist voodoo of yours

446
00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:31,017
that countless women...

447
00:16:31,018 --> 00:16:32,135
236.

448
00:16:32,136 --> 00:16:33,353
Before me fell for.

449
00:16:33,354 --> 00:16:34,571
Wow, respect.

450
00:16:34,572 --> 00:16:39,526
No... Ted... You want to do this, okay?

451
00:16:39,527 --> 00:16:41,361
You're just scared of getting hurt again.

452
00:16:41,362 --> 00:16:43,330
But you can't let fear steal your funk.

453
00:16:43,331 --> 00:16:45,582
That is good. There is a song in there.

454
00:16:45,583 --> 00:16:46,900
Excuse me.

455
00:16:48,619 --> 00:16:50,370
Come on, Ted!

456
00:16:50,371 --> 00:16:51,621
This is your dream.

457
00:16:51,622 --> 00:16:54,657
No, it's not. Not anymore.
And you know what?

458
00:16:54,658 --> 00:16:58,128
Letting go of that dream was
the best decision I ever made.

459
00:16:58,129 --> 00:16:59,262
You guys actually think

460
00:16:59,263 --> 00:17:01,314
I have some lingering itch
to be an architect?

461
00:17:01,315 --> 00:17:03,266
Work 20 hours a day and weekends?

462
00:17:03,267 --> 00:17:06,463
To get ulcers and pull my hair
out and worry and doubt myself

463
00:17:06,604 --> 00:17:07,469
and then at the end of it all,

464
00:17:07,567 --> 00:17:09,368
have the rug pulled out from under me?

465
00:17:10,274 --> 00:17:11,942
I love being a Professor, okay?

466
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:14,144
All that stupid crap they tell you

467
00:17:14,145 --> 00:17:15,612
about how fulfilling teaching is?

468
00:17:15,613 --> 00:17:16,947
It's all true.

469
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:20,016
I'm happy, and I'm not letting go of that.

470
00:17:20,017 --> 00:17:21,568
My answer's no.

471
00:17:25,573 --> 00:17:27,791
Hey, guys.

472
00:17:27,792 --> 00:17:29,192
Where's the poop, Robin?

473
00:17:29,193 --> 00:17:30,460
How do you do that?

474
00:17:30,461 --> 00:17:32,879
You are like a bomb-sniffing
dog, except with poop.

475
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:34,414
You are a poop-sniffing dog.

476
00:17:34,415 --> 00:17:36,449
I think that's just called a dog.

477
00:17:36,450 --> 00:17:38,251
Where's the poop, Robin?

478
00:17:38,252 --> 00:17:41,171
Fine. I called Don again.

479
00:17:42,340 --> 00:17:44,925
Hey, Don! It's Robin again.

480
00:17:44,926 --> 00:17:47,010
Look, I am sorry for all the calls.

481
00:17:47,011 --> 00:17:48,645
It's just, I saw you on the news,

482
00:17:48,646 --> 00:17:50,764
and it made me a little crazy for a minute.

483
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:55,218
I guess I wasn't as over
our breakup as I thought.

484
00:17:55,219 --> 00:17:57,087
But I want to say,

485
00:17:57,088 --> 00:17:59,222
from the bottom of my heart,

486
00:17:59,223 --> 00:18:00,941
I am going to kill you.

487
00:18:00,942 --> 00:18:02,075
No... no, I'm not.

488
00:18:02,076 --> 00:18:04,361
I am happy for you.

489
00:18:04,362 --> 00:18:07,163
And that asian slut on your Facebook page.

490
00:18:07,164 --> 00:18:09,316
She's dead, too.

491
00:18:09,317 --> 00:18:11,785
I thought you deleted his number.

492
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:13,837
I did, but it turns out, I memorized it.

493
00:18:13,838 --> 00:18:16,172
You can't delete contacts
from your brain, Lily.

494
00:18:16,173 --> 00:18:17,407
Well, you have to try.

495
00:18:17,408 --> 00:18:18,825
If you ever want to have closure...

496
00:18:18,826 --> 00:18:20,427
I am never going to have closure.

497
00:18:20,428 --> 00:18:22,762
Okay? Closure doesn't exist.

498
00:18:22,763 --> 00:18:24,848
Okay, one day, Don and I
are moving in together,

499
00:18:24,849 --> 00:18:26,049
and the next thing I know,

500
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,917
he's on a plane to Chicago.

501
00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:30,770
It just... ended.

502
00:18:30,771 --> 00:18:34,140
And no matter how much I try
to forget that it happened,

503
00:18:34,141 --> 00:18:36,609
it will have never not happened.

504
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,745
Don and I will always be a loose end.

505
00:18:38,746 --> 00:18:40,563
We'll always be...

506
00:18:40,564 --> 00:18:42,899
Unfinished.

507
00:18:44,852 --> 00:18:47,470
Gaudi, to his credit,
never gave up on his dream,

508
00:18:47,471 --> 00:18:49,489
but that's not usually how it goes.

509
00:18:49,490 --> 00:18:51,992
I mean, usually, it isn't a speeding bus

510
00:18:51,993 --> 00:18:55,295
that keeps the brown, pointy,
weird church from getting built.

511
00:18:55,296 --> 00:18:58,031
Most of the time, it's just too difficult

512
00:18:58,032 --> 00:19:00,967
or too expensive, or too scary.

513
00:19:00,968 --> 00:19:04,087
It's only once you've stopped

514
00:19:04,088 --> 00:19:07,590
that you realize how hard
it is to start again.

515
00:19:07,591 --> 00:19:11,461
So you force yourself not to want it.

516
00:19:11,462 --> 00:19:13,063
But it's always there.

517
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:15,849
And until you finish it, it will always be...

518
00:19:33,417 --> 00:19:35,251
Hey, Barney. Hey, Rachel.

519
00:19:35,252 --> 00:19:37,837
Rachel, why aren't you in class?

520
00:19:37,838 --> 00:19:39,055
Why aren't you in class?

521
00:19:39,056 --> 00:19:42,042
Yeah, Ted. Why aren't you in class?

522
00:19:46,797 --> 00:19:48,631
You son of a bitch.

523
00:19:49,934 --> 00:19:51,384
I'll call Marshall.

524
00:19:51,385 --> 00:19:52,802
We'll draw up the contract.

525
00:19:52,803 --> 00:19:54,054
Not so fast.

526
00:19:54,055 --> 00:19:55,671
I'm not that easy.

527
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:58,475
And so I made Barney break his golden rule.

528
00:19:58,476 --> 00:20:00,110
I made him take me out to dinner

529
00:20:00,111 --> 00:20:04,564
before I finally gave him
the thing he always got.

530
00:20:04,565 --> 00:20:06,182
Yes.

531
00:20:07,218 --> 00:20:10,253
And even though it didn't happen right away...

532
00:20:10,254 --> 00:20:13,689
And now, the 11:00 news with Don Frank.

533
00:20:17,211 --> 00:20:18,928
Man
¿Bueno?

534
00:20:18,929 --> 00:20:20,747
Who is this?

535
00:20:20,748 --> 00:20:22,332
No hablo inglés.

536
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:23,733
¿Quién es?

537
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:26,319
I'm sorry. Is this 917-456...

538
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,388
I'm sorry, 465...

539
00:20:28,389 --> 00:20:29,956
No, wait.

540
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:35,011
Robin finally got some closure, too.

541
00:20:35,512 --> 00:20:37,930
Sorry. Wrong number.

542
00:20:41,718 --> 00:20:43,869
Finished with that.

543
00:20:56,126 --> 00:20:57,359
Hey, punk!

544
00:20:57,360 --> 00:20:58,710
Bit of advice.

545
00:20:58,711 --> 00:21:02,181
Next time you step on a
kindergarten teacher's neck,

546
00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:04,550
you better finish the job.

547
00:21:04,551 --> 00:21:06,051
I knew this day would come.