1 00:00:01,901 --> 00:00:04,665 I cannot stop staring at that girl's face. 2 00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:08,332 "Face." Huh. That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet. 3 00:00:08,441 --> 00:00:11,672 No, Ted. I'm really looking at her face. 4 00:00:11,778 --> 00:00:14,110 Aw. That's actually really sweet. 5 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:17,775 Puffy cheeks. Smudged mascara. 6 00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,579 Slightly red nose. 7 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,381 That girl was just crying. 8 00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:24,685 She's so sad and defenseless. 9 00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,453 - Anyone have a condom? - Oh, God! - No, no, no. 10 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,994 That's it! You know what? Five-minute time-out! 11 00:00:30,096 --> 00:00:32,360 - Corner booth. Now. - Aw. Cruel. 12 00:00:32,465 --> 00:00:35,366 Hey, get this. You know, uh, my friend Max from law school? 13 00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:39,564 He's at Gregor's Steakhouse downtown, and Woody Allen is sitting two tables over. 14 00:00:39,672 --> 00:00:42,266 He wants us to come check it out. 15 00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:45,776 I don't know. It could be cool. I've never seen Woody Allen. 16 00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,610 What? Robin, how can you be a New Yorker and never have seen Woody Allen? 17 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:52,879 I have seen plenty of other famous people. 18 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,285 Last week, I saw Maury Povich. 19 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,983 Kids, you know talk show host Maury Povich. 20 00:00:59,092 --> 00:01:01,458 It was uncanny how often we saw this guy. 21 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:05,258 - Dude, everyone sees Maury Povich. - Maury Povich is everywhere. 22 00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:08,732 I'm sorry, Robin, but you're not a real New Yorker until you've seen Woody Allen. 23 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,735 I am, too, a real New Yorker. 24 00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,738 That's adorable. You're from Canada. 25 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,900 I have been here for almost six years. It's not like I just got off a boat. 26 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:20,571 "A boat." Wait. That is how you say it. 27 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,341 I'd say you're not a real New Yorker... 28 00:01:22,449 --> 00:01:24,917 until you've stolen a cab from someone who needs it more than you do. 29 00:01:25,018 --> 00:01:27,612 No. You're not a real New Yorker until you've cried on the subway... 30 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:29,688 and not given a damn what anyone thinks. 31 00:01:29,789 --> 00:01:33,316 No. You're not a real New Yorker until you've killed a cockroach with your bare hands. 32 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,451 Those rules are all stupid, okay? 33 00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,427 I've never done any of those things. 34 00:01:37,530 --> 00:01:40,931 By the end of this day, Robin would've done all of those things. 35 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,797 Okay. Time's up. What are we talkin' about? 36 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:46,599 Woody Allen is eating at Gregor's, and Robin thinks that we should go see him. 37 00:01:46,706 --> 00:01:49,174 Pssh. Why would I do that? I'll see him at poker on Tuesday. 38 00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:52,108 Oh, come on. If we jump in a cab, we'll be there in 15 minutes. 39 00:01:52,212 --> 00:01:54,180 A real New Yorker would know the subway's faster. 40 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,975 You just take the 1, transfer to the 2, 3. 41 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,107 Well, the bus runs more often on weekends. 42 00:01:58,218 --> 00:02:00,413 - Take the M7 to the M5. - The bus? 43 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:04,388 Every time I take the bus, there's one crazy person no one wants to sit near. 44 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:07,221 That's why I have never taken the bus. 45 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:10,319 Plus, I can run faster than a bus. 46 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:13,126 Dude, that's, like, seven miles. 47 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:15,758 You can't do that. You can't beat the bus. 48 00:02:15,869 --> 00:02:19,361 I can beat a bus or a cab or a train. 49 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,032 Is anyone else suddenly craving green eggs and ham? 50 00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:25,339 Machines are overrated, and someone needs to take them down a peg. 51 00:02:25,445 --> 00:02:28,972 You're all wrong. I got a way to get there so fast, I could beat all of you... 52 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:32,483 even if I sat down and ordered a big, juicy steak first. 53 00:02:32,585 --> 00:02:35,315 - How? - Medium rare. But that's not important right now. 54 00:02:35,421 --> 00:02:37,651 Look, I know the city better than any of you guys, okay? 55 00:02:37,757 --> 00:02:39,054 - Oh, my God! - Oh, wow. 56 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,719 - Yeah, I do. - Cuckoo! Cuckoo! 57 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,420 Hold on! Hold on! 58 00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,657 Let's just forget about it. Who cares? 59 00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:48,666 I mean, there's no way to find out who's right anyway. 60 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,736 - First person there wins! - Doesn't matter how you get there. 61 00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,502 Stay sad. I'll be back! 62 00:03:23,436 --> 00:03:25,870 Hi. Can I see a menu, please? 63 00:03:25,972 --> 00:03:27,599 No rush. 64 00:03:32,512 --> 00:03:34,241 Kids, I should tell you... 65 00:03:34,347 --> 00:03:36,247 Lily really needed a win that day. 66 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:42,646 When Marshall and Lily decided to have a baby, they assumed it would happen right away. 67 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:45,815 It's gonna be positive. Eriksen men are hella fertile. 68 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:48,086 When Uncle Morris was 16, he got his girlfriend pregnant... 69 00:03:48,194 --> 00:03:51,220 just by holding her hand too tight in the backseat of a car. 70 00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:54,232 Now I'm thinking my parents lied to me. 71 00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:56,930 It's negative. 72 00:03:57,036 --> 00:03:59,266 As the weeks went by, Marshall's confidence never wavered... 73 00:03:59,372 --> 00:04:01,465 and it started to mess with Lily's head. 74 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:07,135 Negative? Well, we know it's not me. 75 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,478 Everything's fine. It-It... These things take time. 76 00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,073 Not with an Eriksen. 77 00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:15,177 Somethin' must be wrong with you. 78 00:04:15,288 --> 00:04:17,688 Also, my mom hates you. 79 00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:19,883 You know what? 80 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:22,723 Just to make sure, I'm gonna pee on this again. 81 00:04:22,829 --> 00:04:24,490 What? No, you wouldn't! 82 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:29,000 Somebody help me! Somebody help me! 83 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:32,868 Lily was so fed up with not getting anywhere... 84 00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,907 maybe winning this race was just what she needed. 85 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,277 Idiot. 86 00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:53,892 I'll show them. My body can outrun any motorized vehicle. 87 00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:57,053 I'm like John Henry when he beat the steam engine. 88 00:04:57,163 --> 00:05:00,257 All I need is a great folk song. 89 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,939 ♪ Gather round, ye children ♪ 90 00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:09,201 ♪ To hear the tale so sweet ♪ 91 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,470 ♪ Of a man who dared to race machines ♪ 92 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,408 ♪ With nothin'but his feet ♪ 93 00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:14,980 Suck it, gran-bot. 94 00:05:15,081 --> 00:05:16,981 ♪ Marshall ♪ 95 00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:21,850 ♪ Versus the machines ♪♪ Hyahl 96 00:05:21,954 --> 00:05:23,717 Taxi! 97 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,454 Excuse me. I got a thing. 98 00:05:31,564 --> 00:05:34,533 Maury... Povich. 99 00:05:38,104 --> 00:05:39,731 Track maintenance? 100 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:45,375 - Twenty-minute delay? - How do you do that? 101 00:05:45,478 --> 00:05:47,469 I grew up here. I speak conductor. 102 00:05:47,580 --> 00:05:50,276 Damn it! 103 00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:55,584 Damn it! 104 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,960 Kids, I also needed a win that day. 105 00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:09,057 A couple nights earlier, your Uncle Marshall had offhandedly mentioned a Web site called... 106 00:06:09,168 --> 00:06:10,863 Grademyteacher. net? 107 00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,995 It's this awesome site where students can go say... 108 00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:15,074 what they really think about their professors. 109 00:06:15,174 --> 00:06:16,903 Hey, you're probably on there. 110 00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:22,112 I just had to see what my students had written about me... 111 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,547 and it was... 112 00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,315 majestic. 113 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,018 Until... 114 00:06:36,662 --> 00:06:38,755 Now, kids, I knew I was a good professor. 115 00:06:38,865 --> 00:06:40,765 That's why I didn't let it bother me. 116 00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:44,462 I had nothing to prove. Absolutely nothing. 117 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,265 Here's a fun fact. 118 00:06:46,372 --> 00:06:48,272 See the Alberta building over there? 119 00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:50,604 Oh, the brown one or the gray one? 120 00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,940 That's the gray one. Did you know that in eight... 121 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:08,623 Hurts! 122 00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,158 l... 123 00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:20,335 Elizabeth! 124 00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,207 Somebody call an ambulance! 125 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,884 Excuse me. I've got a thing. 126 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,452 - Hey! That's my cab! - Gregor's Steakhouse, downtown. 127 00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:40,617 This is my cab! 128 00:07:40,726 --> 00:07:44,321 Downtown Hospital, please. It's right by Gregor's Steakhouse. 129 00:07:44,430 --> 00:07:46,864 Take the F.D.R. and maybe crank up some smooth jazz. 130 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,730 Uh, we're required by law to take you to the nearest hospital... 131 00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,361 which is St. Luke's-Roosevelt, uptown. 132 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,963 Oh, no. 133 00:07:58,978 --> 00:08:01,947 It's my cab! It's my cab! 134 00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:08,786 It's Barney. Help me! 135 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,893 Robin also needed a win that day. 136 00:08:18,264 --> 00:08:19,925 It had been a rough year for Robin. 137 00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:23,524 First, her boyfriend and former cohost, Don, left her for another job. 138 00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:26,161 Then Robin met her new cohost, Becky. 139 00:08:26,272 --> 00:08:28,001 Hi! I'm Becky! 140 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:32,100 I am so excited to be your coanchor! 141 00:08:32,211 --> 00:08:35,442 - Yay! - Hi, Becky. My, you're perky. 142 00:08:35,548 --> 00:08:39,109 Don't worry. I am not here to step on your toesies. 143 00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:41,550 - Oh. - You're still the star. 144 00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,418 I made chocolate chip cookies for everybody! 145 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,185 Yay! 146 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,728 And just like that, Becky started to eclipse Robin. 147 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:51,797 I mean, literally eclipse her. 148 00:08:55,902 --> 00:08:59,269 It's my cab! Aah! 149 00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,231 Keep it. 150 00:09:09,849 --> 00:09:12,647 - Hello. - Ranjit, take me to Gregor's. 151 00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:14,982 Taking you to Gregor's. 152 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:16,850 ♪ As Marshall ran with all his might ♪ 153 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,686 - # And passed his friend Christine # - Hey, Christine. 154 00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:24,252 ♪ He thought of all the times that he had beaten a machine ♪ 155 00:09:24,363 --> 00:09:27,025 - # He triumphed over Pitfalll # - Yes! 156 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:29,431 ♪ He vanquished the alarm ♪ 157 00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:31,093 Yes! 158 00:09:31,203 --> 00:09:33,228 ♪ He brought the jukebox back to life ♪ 159 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:35,830 - # With his Fonzarelli arm # - Don't know if I'm gonna be able to do it. 160 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,238 ♪ Marshall ♪ 161 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:43,577 ♪ Versus the machines ♪♪ 162 00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,277 Ow. Ow. Ow. 163 00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:49,115 Last seat. Thank God. 164 00:09:49,221 --> 00:09:52,122 I just had the worst cab ride of my life. 165 00:09:52,224 --> 00:09:54,158 Well, you're in luck. 166 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,921 See that gothic church over there? 167 00:09:56,028 --> 00:10:00,055 Those Corinthian columns were designed by Giuseppe Pigato in 1896. 168 00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,533 Ow. Ow. Ow. 169 00:10:03,636 --> 00:10:05,263 Hey, Ranjit, pull over. 170 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:06,998 Pulling over. 171 00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,601 Hey, toots, how about a ride? 172 00:10:14,413 --> 00:10:16,938 Oh. Hey, Robin. It's you. 173 00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:18,949 Hyahl 174 00:10:19,051 --> 00:10:21,383 Move alongl 175 00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,717 Hyahl 176 00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,518 Move alongl 177 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,819 Hyahl 178 00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,486 See that over there? That's the old Arcadian Hotel. 179 00:10:29,595 --> 00:10:33,895 Fun fact. While today its neoclassical fenestration is considered to be... 180 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,804 So, is this ride your way of apologizing for this morning? 181 00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:42,635 I'm sorry. I never apologize. 182 00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:45,802 - And why would I? - Are you kidding me? 183 00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:48,038 Hey, Barney, can I talk to you? 184 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:51,480 Sure. Stand a little more this way. 185 00:10:51,584 --> 00:10:54,849 I'm scouting some talent. Pretend we're talking about something important. 186 00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:57,252 Uh, well, this... this is something important. 187 00:10:57,356 --> 00:11:01,759 Um, I'm having a... a really rough time at work. The whole Becky thing. 188 00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,056 You know what? That's just getting distracting. 189 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,428 Um, say "carrots and peas." Carrots and peas. Carrots and peas. 190 00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:11,162 Carrots and peas. Carrots and peas! 191 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,539 Guys, I can't stop staring at that girl's face. 192 00:11:15,641 --> 00:11:18,075 - What, you really had something to talk about? - Yes. 193 00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,771 I've spent the last six years in this city... 194 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,848 focusing on my career, all for nothing. 195 00:11:22,948 --> 00:11:26,543 Some lady almost got me killed. Maury Povich stole my cab. 196 00:11:26,652 --> 00:11:31,214 I swear, this city is starting to reject me like a bad organ transplant. 197 00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:33,814 You know, everyone keeps saying that I'm not a real New Yorker. 198 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,622 Well, maybe I should just stop trying. 199 00:11:36,729 --> 00:11:40,597 - Robin, I had no idea that... - No, it's my fault for thinking that you might care. 200 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,191 - Ranjit, stop the car. - Stopping the car. 201 00:11:43,302 --> 00:11:45,862 - No, don't stop the car. - Not stopping the car. 202 00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,701 - Seriously, stop the car. - Seriously stopping the car. 203 00:11:48,808 --> 00:11:51,242 Look, you... Wait, wait. Robin, hold on. 204 00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:53,573 If you wanna talk, I'm right here. 205 00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,408 Carrots and peas. 206 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:58,381 Don't... You... 207 00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:03,488 I'll crank up the smooth jazz. 208 00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,227 ♪ Our hero's strength was fadin'fast ♪ 209 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:10,955 ♪ Just as the light ♪ 210 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:18,902 ♪ Turned ♪ 211 00:12:19,004 --> 00:12:20,335 ♪ Green ♪ 212 00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,634 ♪ He then thought back to all the times ♪ 213 00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:25,643 ♪ He'd lost to a machine ♪ 214 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:28,236 Come on, Playboy Channel. 215 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:31,316 - # The cable box's fearsome bite # - Ow! 216 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,682 - # The stapler's mighty sting # - Oh! 217 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,618 Come on, Spice Channel. 218 00:12:36,722 --> 00:12:39,486 ♪ The cable box's bite again ♪ 219 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:44,490 ♪ Getting too tired ♪ 220 00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,798 ♪ To sing ♪♪ 221 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,039 Uses a hybrid-steel tube structure... 222 00:12:56,142 --> 00:12:58,610 Kids, that day I had a horrible realization. 223 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:01,475 If you can't spot the crazy person on the bus... 224 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,084 it's you. 225 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,383 Yay! 226 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:15,949 The good news is I was halfway there, and nothing could stop me. 227 00:13:19,965 --> 00:13:22,593 Hey, you... 228 00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,063 - This is crazy. - I can't believe it. 229 00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:29,368 Okay, this is clearly a sign. 230 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:33,172 Let's just call it a tie, forget about the race, head back to the bar. 231 00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:47,320 Just like that, the race was back on. 232 00:13:49,395 --> 00:13:51,226 Idiot! 233 00:13:51,330 --> 00:13:54,060 Meanwhile, one subway car over... 234 00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:14,009 Oh, God! 235 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,585 Oh, bite me! 236 00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:26,529 Faster! Mush! Mush! 237 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,066 I need this win. I need this win. 238 00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:34,964 And firing half my department freed up the money to double my own salary. 239 00:14:35,074 --> 00:14:38,066 And this chick from Boston was wicked hot in bed last night. 240 00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:40,771 And I'm getting more muscular even though I've stopped working out. 241 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,848 And I've got this amazing poker group. 242 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:45,314 Actually, Barney did not need a win. 243 00:14:45,417 --> 00:14:47,942 And I smell incredible! 244 00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:50,920 Smell me. Just... Here. Seriously, smell me. 245 00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:56,720 He did smell incredible. 246 00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:59,798 Stop! Too slow. Switch. 247 00:15:14,813 --> 00:15:17,281 Sweetie? Are you okay? 248 00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:21,080 No. I am done with this city. It wins. 249 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:24,417 I just wanna move somewhere new and start over. 250 00:15:24,523 --> 00:15:27,515 You've had a rough year. 251 00:15:27,626 --> 00:15:31,221 But you're tough, and I love you like crazy. 252 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,457 If-lf you left, I'd have to follow you. 253 00:15:33,565 --> 00:15:36,557 And Marshall would follow me. And Ted would follow him. 254 00:15:36,669 --> 00:15:39,604 The only upside is that we might get rid of Barney. 255 00:15:41,106 --> 00:15:43,040 Bring it in. 256 00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:49,345 - What did he say? - No clue. 257 00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:52,144 - Hey, is that Maury Povich? - Where? 258 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:56,781 Hey, Lil... 259 00:15:56,889 --> 00:16:00,689 Sorry, sweetie. I swear I'll be a great friend at the finish line. 260 00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:03,728 But the conductor just said you're going express to Borough Hall... 261 00:16:03,829 --> 00:16:06,127 which means you're screwed, sweetie! 262 00:16:06,231 --> 00:16:08,699 So long, sucker! Ha, ha, ha! 263 00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:12,969 Bring it in. 264 00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,699 Damn it! 265 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,604 Eeh! 266 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,143 Hey, it's Lily. Help me! 267 00:16:19,244 --> 00:16:21,804 And not a single passenger would listen to me. 268 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,472 I mean, am I a bad teacher? 269 00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:26,016 Do I just put people to sleep? 270 00:16:26,118 --> 00:16:28,052 Buddy. 271 00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,481 Hey, buddy. Need a hand? 272 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:34,718 The machines have won! 273 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:38,495 - The machines have won! - Dude, mellow! 274 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:42,432 I can't do it. I can't run that far. 275 00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,832 I can't outrace anything. 276 00:16:44,937 --> 00:16:48,532 l-I can't... I can't get my wife pregnant! 277 00:16:52,878 --> 00:16:55,676 Wait. Is that what this whole stupid running thing has been about? 278 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,908 My body's been letting me down... 279 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:01,350 and I just wanted to prove that it could still do something, but it can't. 280 00:17:01,453 --> 00:17:04,115 Dude, you've been trying for two months, not two years. 281 00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,521 - That's nothing. - Well, you should talk. 282 00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:09,822 You know, you're the one who's freakin' out because you have one mediocre review... 283 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,520 and, like, 50 great ones. 284 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,222 Sixty-four, but whatever. 285 00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:16,859 And you're designing a frickin' building. I mean, come on, dude. 286 00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:20,427 Sounds like you guys need to clear everything... 287 00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,632 subtract the negativity... 288 00:17:22,741 --> 00:17:24,971 and add some perspective. 289 00:17:28,747 --> 00:17:32,308 Marshall! Marshall, get in. 290 00:17:32,418 --> 00:17:33,942 Hello. 291 00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:51,902 - Ugh. - There it is. 292 00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,768 - Where are Marshall and Lily? - Who cares? 293 00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,992 I won? I won! 294 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,091 - No! - I really won? 295 00:18:23,202 --> 00:18:26,137 - How did that even happen? - Here's how it happened. 296 00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,172 - Okay, he's in. Go. Go. Gun it. - What? 297 00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,763 - Ted is in the way. - Run him over. 298 00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,503 - Running him over. - Lily, what the hell is the matter with you? 299 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,444 Nothing. I just wanna win this really badly. 300 00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:40,143 So badly that I just ditched my best friend when she needed me. 301 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:43,779 Oh, baby, you were also gonna run over Ted. 302 00:18:43,889 --> 00:18:46,983 Why did I get so crazy about this? 303 00:18:47,092 --> 00:18:50,255 Maybe for the same reason that I kept saying that I could run seven miles. 304 00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:54,924 l... I'm trying to be really, um, confident and positive about all this... 305 00:18:55,033 --> 00:18:58,127 but, baby, I'm really scared that we're not pregnant yet. 306 00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:01,832 Oh, thank God. I keep thinking there's something wrong with me. 307 00:19:01,940 --> 00:19:04,534 - I keep thinking there's something wrong with me. - It's only been two months. 308 00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,804 - We are crazy! - We're totally crazy. 309 00:19:06,912 --> 00:19:09,437 This is the last time it's ever gonna be just the two of us. 310 00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:11,448 Shouldn't we be enjoying that? 311 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:14,246 - We gotta go back to Paris. - And take ballroom dancing. 312 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:17,686 And really learn how to ski. Not just go up and get faced in the lodge. 313 00:19:17,789 --> 00:19:20,383 And see Coney Island. I've still never been. 314 00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,689 See, we have a whole bucket list of things to do before we start having kids. 315 00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:26,355 Ooh. A cradle list. 316 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:29,629 I'm so glad we're trying... 317 00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,329 and I'm gonna be really excited for when it happens... 318 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:34,530 but this isn't a race. 319 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,098 This isn't a race. 320 00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:42,010 Ranjit, screw Gregor's. Let's go to Coney Island. 321 00:19:42,114 --> 00:19:43,911 Screwing Gregor's. 322 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,143 Going to Coney Island. 323 00:19:46,251 --> 00:19:48,412 As for how Robin beat me and Barney... 324 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:51,353 to this day, your Uncle Barney won't admit it... 325 00:19:51,456 --> 00:19:53,083 - Who cares? - but here's what I saw. 326 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,218 I saw Barney notice Robin's face... 327 00:19:57,162 --> 00:19:59,130 and maybe realize something. 328 00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:01,131 Barney says he tripped... 329 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,701 but it sure felt like he tackled me on purpose. 330 00:20:05,537 --> 00:20:08,267 And when Robin won, I could've sworn I saw him smile. 331 00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,568 - I won! - No! 332 00:20:10,676 --> 00:20:13,577 So I said the cab, of course, because that makes complete... 333 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,239 - Sure. - I know what you did back there. 334 00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,549 Yeah. 335 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:23,485 Check it. I just drove a pedicab 26 blocks... 336 00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,819 and I still smell incredible. 337 00:20:25,924 --> 00:20:27,721 Smell me. 338 00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:29,794 Smell me. 339 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:31,920 He did smell incredible. 340 00:20:32,030 --> 00:20:34,624 Wait a minute. So, where's Woody Allen? 341 00:20:35,667 --> 00:20:37,794 He's right there. 342 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:42,469 Damn it, Max! That's Maury Povich! 343 00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,769 I always get those two confused. 344 00:20:46,511 --> 00:20:49,503 Technically, there was only one winner that day... 345 00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:52,812 but, in that race, everyone found exactly what they needed. 346 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,887 It's true... she wouldn't see Woody Allen for another couple months... 347 00:20:55,988 --> 00:21:00,448 but that's how Robin became, by just about any definition of the term... 348 00:21:03,128 --> 00:21:05,028 a real New Yorker. 349 00:21:32,891 --> 00:21:33,858 English - US - SDH