1
00:00:00,916 --> 00:00:03,926
I don't see why someone would pay to see 
a movie and then talk through the whole thing.

2
00:00:04,277 --> 00:00:06,917
That was so cool when
you flashed your badge at them,

3
00:00:06,952 --> 00:00:09,671
"if you people need to chat,
we can chat downtown""

4
00:00:09,672 --> 00:00:12,340
Well, to be honest

5
00:00:12,341 --> 00:00:14,259
It was a York peppermint Pattie.

6
00:00:15,261 --> 00:00:17,995
You want to come in
for a little while?

7
00:00:17,996 --> 00:00:21,049
Uh, that sounds tempting,
but I-I got an early morning,

8
00:00:21,050 --> 00:00:23,752
And I-I don't want to disturb
your mom or your sister.

9
00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:27,355
They're not here.
Really?

10
00:00:27,356 --> 00:00:30,725
Mom's taking a pole dancing
class at the senior center,

11
00:00:30,726 --> 00:00:33,311
And my sister, well,
she could be handcuffed

12
00:00:33,312 --> 00:00:35,747
To just about anything
right about now.

13
00:00:35,748 --> 00:00:37,198
That's interesting.

14
00:00:37,199 --> 00:00:39,117
So it'd be just the two of us.

15
00:00:39,118 --> 00:00:41,686
A nice, round number.
I like round numbers.

16
00:00:41,687 --> 00:00:44,072
That's good, 'cause
you're kissing one.

17
00:00:50,212 --> 00:00:53,381
I'm sorry, but, uh,
I-I really have to go.

18
00:00:53,382 --> 00:00:55,083
Oh. You sure?

19
00:00:55,084 --> 00:00:57,201
Uh, yeah, as much
as I'd love to stay, uh,

20
00:00:57,202 --> 00:00:59,637
I got to get my full eight hours
to function properly.

21
00:00:59,638 --> 00:01:00,889
Otherwise, I'm not clear-headed,

22
00:01:00,890 --> 00:01:03,308
And I mistake a pickle
for a gun and...

23
00:01:03,309 --> 00:01:06,394
Bang!... Somebody ends up dead.

24
00:01:07,229 --> 00:01:08,847
Enough said.

25
00:01:08,848 --> 00:01:10,548
Thanks for the movie.

26
00:01:10,549 --> 00:01:11,766
You're welcome.

27
00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,151
Good night.

28
00:01:13,152 --> 00:01:15,320
Night.

29
00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,677
Okay, it's not me.

30
00:01:23,729 --> 00:01:28,566
♪ for the first time
in my life ♪

31
00:01:28,567 --> 00:01:31,753
♪ I see love. ♪

32
00:01:31,754 --> 00:01:34,839
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

33
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:46,410
(wind whistling)
can't believe it.

34
00:01:46,411 --> 00:01:47,828
I've lost two hats
in one month.

35
00:01:47,829 --> 00:01:50,064
Well, why do you think they
call it the windy city?

36
00:01:50,065 --> 00:01:52,899
I don't know, Carl.
'cause it's windy?

37
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:55,569
I've told you before, you should
get yourself a chin strap.

38
00:01:55,570 --> 00:01:57,738
Sure. Maybe add
a little propeller on top

39
00:01:57,739 --> 00:02:00,257
And just go full Tweedledum.

40
00:02:00,258 --> 00:02:01,908
It's better than running
through traffic

41
00:02:01,909 --> 00:02:04,128
Screaming, "my hat, my hat."

42
00:02:05,213 --> 00:02:08,132
And what are you two bitches
fighting about today?

43
00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:10,434
Just pour the coffee, Samuel.

44
00:02:10,435 --> 00:02:11,802
And I'll have my usual.

45
00:02:11,803 --> 00:02:14,438
As you wish, tiny dancer.

46
00:02:15,757 --> 00:02:18,091
I'm getting a little tired
of the wisecracks about my size.

47
00:02:18,092 --> 00:02:20,644
I'm a customer here, and I'd
like to be treated as such.

48
00:02:20,645 --> 00:02:21,946
He lose another hat?

49
00:02:21,947 --> 00:02:24,365
The thing popped off his head
like a champagne cork.

50
00:02:25,533 --> 00:02:27,601
Did he try to Chase it?
About half a block.

51
00:02:27,602 --> 00:02:29,236
I was trying to get video
on my cell phone,

52
00:02:29,237 --> 00:02:30,454
But I was laughing too hard.

53
00:02:31,740 --> 00:02:34,992
So the motto, "what happens
on the beat stays on the beat,"

54
00:02:34,993 --> 00:02:36,677
Means nothing to you.

55
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,111
You didn't keep it to yourself
that time

56
00:02:38,112 --> 00:02:39,630
I pierced my nipple
putting on my badge.

57
00:02:39,631 --> 00:02:40,831
I had to tell people.

58
00:02:40,832 --> 00:02:43,050
Everybody thought
the smoke alarm was going off.

59
00:02:43,051 --> 00:02:45,636
I still can't wear
a leather vest without a shirt.

60
00:02:45,637 --> 00:02:47,054
You shouldn't anyway.

61
00:02:47,055 --> 00:02:50,591
So how was your date with Molly last night?
It was fine.

62
00:02:50,592 --> 00:02:53,010
We went to the movies, and then
had a bite to eat after.

63
00:02:53,011 --> 00:02:54,345
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,

64
00:02:54,346 --> 00:02:56,180
But that's, like,
the third date, isn't it?

65
00:02:56,181 --> 00:02:57,264
Uh, yeah, give or take.

66
00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:58,632
So...
So, what?

67
00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:01,051
So who was giving it,
and where was she taking it?

68
00:03:01,886 --> 00:03:03,821
Whoa. Now, hang on, Carl.

69
00:03:03,822 --> 00:03:05,773
This is a nice girl
you're talking about,

70
00:03:05,774 --> 00:03:06,973
And I'm an old-fashioned guy.

71
00:03:06,974 --> 00:03:08,575
We're just going
to take our time

72
00:03:08,576 --> 00:03:09,827
And not rush into anything.

73
00:03:09,828 --> 00:03:11,745
You sure it's not because
you don't want her

74
00:03:11,746 --> 00:03:14,081
To see your big, naked,
pasty-white heinie?

75
00:03:15,149 --> 00:03:17,317
What?!
Wh-where's this coming from?

76
00:03:17,318 --> 00:03:19,119
I'm just saying, I know you're
sensitive about your size,

77
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,537
And the idea
of taking your clothes off

78
00:03:20,538 --> 00:03:22,339
In front of a woman
must be a scary thing.

79
00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:24,091
Please. I don't have
a problem with that.

80
00:03:24,092 --> 00:03:26,710
It's just that I'm a gentleman
and I-I care about her.

81
00:03:26,711 --> 00:03:29,346
You're also a busty man who
wears a t-shirt in the shower.

82
00:03:30,765 --> 00:03:32,833
Don't act like
I don't know you, 'cause I do.

83
00:03:32,834 --> 00:03:34,768
You don't know me
like you think you do.

84
00:03:34,769 --> 00:03:35,803
There's levels to me.

85
00:03:35,804 --> 00:03:37,354
I run very deep.

86
00:03:37,355 --> 00:03:38,856
Well, you sure
don't run very fast,

87
00:03:38,857 --> 00:03:40,858
'cause your hat's in Skokie
right about now.

88
00:03:41,893 --> 00:03:43,861
You know what, Carl?
You're full of crap,

89
00:03:43,862 --> 00:03:46,196
And I don't have to sit here
and listen to this.

90
00:03:46,197 --> 00:03:48,032
Breakfast is served.

91
00:03:53,538 --> 00:03:55,572
It's a dilemma, for sure.

92
00:03:59,411 --> 00:04:02,796
If my blood sugar wasn't low,
I'd be out of here, pal.

93
00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:08,368
Do you think that cop
spent the night?

94
00:04:08,369 --> 00:04:09,870
I have no idea.

95
00:04:09,871 --> 00:04:13,140
But I'm sure when his feet
hit the floor, we'll know it.

96
00:04:13,975 --> 00:04:15,259
Hey.

97
00:04:15,260 --> 00:04:17,511
Morning.
Morning.

98
00:04:19,381 --> 00:04:22,066
You're getting a
pretty late start.

99
00:04:22,067 --> 00:04:23,317
Well, a bottle of schnapps

100
00:04:23,318 --> 00:04:26,386
And a half a bag of Oreos
knocked me on my ass.

101
00:04:26,387 --> 00:04:28,672
And the sweet,
sweet lovin', right?

102
00:04:28,673 --> 00:04:30,056
How was it?

103
00:04:30,057 --> 00:04:31,325
Was it good?

104
00:04:31,326 --> 00:04:32,860
Is he still up there?

105
00:04:32,861 --> 00:04:34,561
No, he's not still up there.

106
00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:36,747
He never even made it
in the house.

107
00:04:36,748 --> 00:04:39,366
Ooh. You did it on the porch?

108
00:04:40,368 --> 00:04:42,202
That'll teach
the people next door

109
00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:44,838
For putting up
that ugly mailbox.

110
00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:47,007
Is there something wrong
with me?

111
00:04:47,008 --> 00:04:48,375
I practically threw myself
at him,

112
00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:51,077
And he ran out of here like he
heard an ice cream truck.

113
00:04:51,078 --> 00:04:54,080
Well, maybe he did hear
an ice cream truck.

114
00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:57,267
No. I just don't think
he's attracted to me.

115
00:04:57,268 --> 00:04:58,969
I mean, that was the third date.

116
00:04:58,970 --> 00:05:01,438
That's usually the
"come and get it" date, right?

117
00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:02,773
Well, for your sister,
it's usually

118
00:05:02,774 --> 00:05:04,975
The "come and get it
for the third time" date.

119
00:05:06,895 --> 00:05:09,062
Were you giving him
clear signals?

120
00:05:09,063 --> 00:05:13,150
'cause he looks like he's eaten
his share of paint chips.

121
00:05:14,702 --> 00:05:16,737
I did everything
but lift my skirt

122
00:05:16,738 --> 00:05:19,039
And fire a starter's pistol.

123
00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:23,710
You know what I do if I'm with
a guy that's not getting it?

124
00:05:23,711 --> 00:05:27,047
I pull out one of my boobs and
start smacking him in the face.

125
00:05:28,299 --> 00:05:30,050
There you go.

126
00:05:30,051 --> 00:05:32,803
Give him a good boob smack.

127
00:05:34,506 --> 00:05:37,508
I just don't think I have the
personality to pull that off.

128
00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:40,561
Maybe he wants
to take things slow,

129
00:05:40,562 --> 00:05:42,963
Get to know you
before you leap into bed.

130
00:05:42,964 --> 00:05:45,265
Yeah, 'cause that's
what guys do.

131
00:05:46,351 --> 00:05:47,401
You know what? No.

132
00:05:47,402 --> 00:05:48,986
I'm too old to play these games.

133
00:05:48,987 --> 00:05:51,021
I... I lead a rich, full life,

134
00:05:51,022 --> 00:05:54,691
And I don't need him
or any other man to validate me.

135
00:05:54,692 --> 00:05:56,243
You go, girl.

136
00:05:56,244 --> 00:05:58,028
Okay, we got to find her a fella

137
00:05:58,029 --> 00:06:01,198
Before she fills this house up
with crucifixes and pussycats.

138
00:06:19,684 --> 00:06:22,936
Well, I think you look
very distinguished.

139
00:06:22,937 --> 00:06:25,856
Like one of those guys that
guards the queen of England.

140
00:06:25,857 --> 00:06:27,441
Regal.

141
00:06:28,676 --> 00:06:32,012
I look like I'm baking bread
in my neck.

142
00:06:33,448 --> 00:06:35,315
(cell phone ringing)

143
00:06:35,316 --> 00:06:37,117
Hello?

144
00:06:37,118 --> 00:06:38,518
Oh, hey, Molly.

145
00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:39,853
I'm glad you called.

146
00:06:39,854 --> 00:06:41,371
About tonight...
listen, I was thinking maybe

147
00:06:41,372 --> 00:06:43,624
We could grab
an early dinner and...

148
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,125
Oh, really?

149
00:06:45,126 --> 00:06:46,493
Stomach flu, huh?

150
00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:48,579
She's got the trots.

151
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:49,880
Yeah, you don't want

152
00:06:49,881 --> 00:06:52,633
To be too far away from home
with that going on.

153
00:06:52,634 --> 00:06:54,367
That's a mistake
you only make once.

154
00:06:54,368 --> 00:06:57,221
You had to buy a new hat
after that, too, huh?

155
00:06:58,372 --> 00:07:01,141
Do you mind?

156
00:07:01,142 --> 00:07:02,392
Listen, I hope you feel better.

157
00:07:02,393 --> 00:07:04,177
And I'll call you
in a couple days.

158
00:07:04,178 --> 00:07:06,179
Okay. Bye-bye.

159
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:07,648
Poor thing.

160
00:07:07,649 --> 00:07:09,266
She's got it
both ends, no waiting.

161
00:07:09,267 --> 00:07:10,684
Oh, yeah?

162
00:07:10,685 --> 00:07:12,436
You believe that story?

163
00:07:12,437 --> 00:07:13,937
Why wouldn't I?

164
00:07:13,938 --> 00:07:16,222
Well, in my experience,
when a woman cancels a date

165
00:07:16,223 --> 00:07:18,659
The night of,
she's not really sick.

166
00:07:18,660 --> 00:07:20,226
And her Uncle's not really dead,

167
00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:23,247
And her hamster doesn't really
need hip replacement surgery.

168
00:07:24,666 --> 00:07:26,867
Trust me... I know
when a woman's into me,

169
00:07:26,868 --> 00:07:28,919
And this woman
is into me big-time.

170
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,120
You should have
seen her last night.

171
00:07:30,121 --> 00:07:31,255
She was all over me.

172
00:07:31,256 --> 00:07:32,839
Well, then, why'd you
put the brakes on?

173
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,625
I told you... it's because
we're taking it slow.

174
00:07:34,626 --> 00:07:36,209
It's got nothing
to do with my weight.

175
00:07:36,210 --> 00:07:37,744
Hey, I didn't say a word.

176
00:07:37,745 --> 00:07:39,680
That's it. Pull over.

177
00:07:39,681 --> 00:07:40,847
What?

178
00:07:40,848 --> 00:07:42,432
Pull the car over.

179
00:07:42,433 --> 00:07:44,184
All right.

180
00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:45,719
You know, you think
you know everything,

181
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,387
But you don't know squat.

182
00:07:47,388 --> 00:07:48,689
Where are you going?

183
00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:50,040
I'm walking.

184
00:07:50,041 --> 00:07:51,942
Suit yourself.

185
00:07:51,943 --> 00:07:53,493
(wind whistling) crap.

186
00:07:59,367 --> 00:08:00,734
What are you waiting for?

187
00:08:00,735 --> 00:08:02,052
Follow that hat.

188
00:08:02,053 --> 00:08:04,237
(siren wailing)

189
00:08:05,823 --> 00:08:08,408
So, let me get this straight.

190
00:08:08,409 --> 00:08:13,347
It's a show about guys
driving trucks across icy roads?

191
00:08:14,616 --> 00:08:17,918
Well, there's a lot
more to it than that.

192
00:08:17,919 --> 00:08:22,005
Sometimes the trucks
are hauling lumber,

193
00:08:22,006 --> 00:08:25,809
Sometimes metal pipes.

194
00:08:26,928 --> 00:08:31,565
One time, this guy was hauling
a giant moose in a cage.

195
00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:33,350
Wow. What for?

196
00:08:33,351 --> 00:08:34,801
I don't know.

197
00:08:34,802 --> 00:08:38,021
I guess somebody needed a moose.

198
00:08:42,744 --> 00:08:45,245
(doorbell ringing)

199
00:08:45,246 --> 00:08:46,863
Are you stoned?

200
00:08:46,864 --> 00:08:48,448
You're not?

201
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:53,704
Hello.

202
00:08:53,705 --> 00:08:55,005
How are you?
You Molly?

203
00:08:55,006 --> 00:08:56,623
I am. Can I help you?

204
00:08:56,624 --> 00:08:57,824
Name's Moranto.

205
00:08:57,825 --> 00:08:59,009
Vincent Moranto.

206
00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:00,627
I'm a friend of your mother's.

207
00:09:00,628 --> 00:09:01,878
Okay.

208
00:09:01,879 --> 00:09:03,380
Well, you going to ask me in?

209
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:06,332
Uh, I wasn't planning on it.

210
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:07,467
It's all right.

211
00:09:07,468 --> 00:09:08,885
Your mom and I go way back.

212
00:09:08,886 --> 00:09:10,087
I own my own business.

213
00:09:10,088 --> 00:09:12,105
I make the little pillows
they use on airplanes.

214
00:09:12,106 --> 00:09:13,707
Lot of money
in those little pillows

215
00:09:13,708 --> 00:09:16,560
If you're willing
to overlook child labor laws.

216
00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:18,511
Okay.

217
00:09:18,512 --> 00:09:20,063
Your mom tells me you're single.

218
00:09:20,064 --> 00:09:21,565
Yeah, hang on a second.

219
00:09:21,566 --> 00:09:23,700
Mom!

220
00:09:23,701 --> 00:09:25,235
Whoa.

221
00:09:25,236 --> 00:09:27,070
Set of lungs on you, huh?

222
00:09:27,071 --> 00:09:29,206
I like a woman
who's not afraid to let go.

223
00:09:29,207 --> 00:09:30,474
Shows passion.

224
00:09:30,475 --> 00:09:32,125
I like passionate women.

225
00:09:32,126 --> 00:09:34,628
You must be the other daughter.

226
00:09:34,629 --> 00:09:37,297
You're stacked
like a deli sandwich.

227
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,251
Vince, what a surprise.

228
00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:42,386
What surprise?

229
00:09:42,387 --> 00:09:44,254
You called me,
told me to come over.

230
00:09:44,255 --> 00:09:46,556
Did you meet Molly?

231
00:09:46,557 --> 00:09:48,341
Molly:
Yes, mom, we met.

232
00:09:48,342 --> 00:09:51,144
Vince is a widower.

233
00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:53,814
I'm sorry to hear that.

234
00:09:53,815 --> 00:09:55,065
Hey, people live, people die.

235
00:09:55,066 --> 00:09:56,767
What are you gonna do?

236
00:09:58,436 --> 00:10:00,404
The good news is,
I'm still a vibrant man

237
00:10:00,405 --> 00:10:02,689
With a lot of love
to give the right woman.

238
00:10:02,690 --> 00:10:05,108
Thank you, Viagra.

239
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,995
Vince's wife was a little
on the heavy side,

240
00:10:08,996 --> 00:10:10,363
Wasn't she, Vin?

241
00:10:10,364 --> 00:10:11,915
Precious little butterball.

242
00:10:11,916 --> 00:10:13,700
Had a thing
for pistachio ice cream.

243
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:14,868
Ate it by the bucket.

244
00:10:14,869 --> 00:10:17,204
Okay, well, nice to meet you.

245
00:10:17,205 --> 00:10:19,405
Mom, can I talk
to you privately?

246
00:10:19,406 --> 00:10:20,707
Excuse us.

247
00:10:20,708 --> 00:10:21,925
No problem.

248
00:10:21,926 --> 00:10:24,211
Doesn't kick in for an hour.

249
00:10:25,513 --> 00:10:27,097
By the way,
if this don't play out

250
00:10:27,098 --> 00:10:30,884
With your sister,
I am on you like stink.

251
00:10:32,303 --> 00:10:33,586
What the hell are you doing?

252
00:10:33,587 --> 00:10:35,522
Just introducing
two nice people.

253
00:10:35,523 --> 00:10:37,174
What's the problem?

254
00:10:37,175 --> 00:10:39,443
The guy's got 20 years
on me, easily.

255
00:10:39,444 --> 00:10:41,862
So he'll die sooner
and leave you with a nice house

256
00:10:41,863 --> 00:10:43,980
And a lot of little pillows.

257
00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,768
Look, I know
in your own weird way

258
00:10:48,769 --> 00:10:50,704
You're trying to help,
but don't, okay?

259
00:10:50,705 --> 00:10:52,289
Just go talk to the man.

260
00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,991
He drove all the way over
from Evanston.

261
00:10:54,992 --> 00:10:57,043
And with cataracts to boot.

262
00:10:57,912 --> 00:11:00,163
I got to get out of here.
Hey.

263
00:11:00,164 --> 00:11:01,832
You leave me alone with him,

264
00:11:01,833 --> 00:11:05,585
You might come home to find out
you've got a new daddy.

265
00:11:10,725 --> 00:11:12,175
Hi, I'm Marty,
and I'm an overeater.

266
00:11:12,176 --> 00:11:13,793
All:
Hi, Marty.

267
00:11:13,794 --> 00:11:17,297
Since I've been in the program,
I've lost 12 and a half pounds.

268
00:11:17,298 --> 00:11:19,900
Bite me, Marty.

269
00:11:19,901 --> 00:11:21,651
Anyway, it's been
a really inspiring week for me.

270
00:11:21,652 --> 00:11:24,104
I finished third
in the Chicago triathlon,

271
00:11:24,105 --> 00:11:26,773
My new abs video
is selling like gangbusters.

272
00:11:26,774 --> 00:11:29,776
Look at me, I can do a sit-up.

273
00:11:29,777 --> 00:11:33,079
And best of all, I got engaged
to that beautiful swimsuit model

274
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:35,215
I was telling you about
last week... Rhiannon.

275
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:37,650
I hope she gives you the clap.

276
00:11:40,588 --> 00:11:42,322
Molly?

277
00:11:43,157 --> 00:11:45,425
Ah, crap.

278
00:11:47,261 --> 00:11:49,662
Molly, wait!

279
00:11:50,497 --> 00:11:53,717
Molly, wait. Molly.

280
00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:54,935
Molly!

281
00:11:58,189 --> 00:11:59,890
Hey, Molly!

282
00:12:00,725 --> 00:12:02,842
Molly!

283
00:12:02,843 --> 00:12:04,010
Hey!

284
00:12:05,846 --> 00:12:07,197
Molly, slow down!

285
00:12:07,198 --> 00:12:09,849
Where you going?

286
00:12:09,850 --> 00:12:11,517
Hey!

287
00:12:11,518 --> 00:12:15,355
Molly. Molly!

288
00:12:18,125 --> 00:12:21,027
Molly!

289
00:12:23,864 --> 00:12:25,048
Molly, stop, please!

290
00:12:25,049 --> 00:12:26,733
I'm begging you.

291
00:12:29,503 --> 00:12:31,338
Why'd you run away?

292
00:12:31,339 --> 00:12:33,206
I don't want
to see you anymore.

293
00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:34,858
(panting)

294
00:12:36,677 --> 00:12:38,878
I don't want
to see you anymore.

295
00:12:58,520 --> 00:13:00,921
Lot of pretty ladies here
tonight, huh, Samuel?

296
00:13:00,922 --> 00:13:02,289
Shall we begin our approach?

297
00:13:02,290 --> 00:13:05,175
I'm fully engorged.

298
00:13:05,176 --> 00:13:06,677
Whoa, slow down, brother.

299
00:13:06,678 --> 00:13:09,063
You never buy the first
car you see on the lot.

300
00:13:09,064 --> 00:13:11,198
And also remember not to
set your sights too high.

301
00:13:11,199 --> 00:13:14,118
Are you telling me
to pursue ugly women?

302
00:13:14,119 --> 00:13:17,071
Because an ugly woman
I can get without your help.

303
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:20,207
Hey.

304
00:13:20,208 --> 00:13:21,992
What happened to you?

305
00:13:21,993 --> 00:13:22,993
Molly dumped me.

306
00:13:22,994 --> 00:13:24,078
Aw...

307
00:13:24,079 --> 00:13:25,129
And you were right,

308
00:13:25,130 --> 00:13:26,363
She was lying about being sick.

309
00:13:26,364 --> 00:13:28,165
Yeah, women don't usually

310
00:13:28,166 --> 00:13:31,368
Play the diarrhea card
until they're done with you.

311
00:13:31,369 --> 00:13:33,087
I thought she was
the one, Carl.

312
00:13:33,088 --> 00:13:35,472
I thought I was gonna spend the
rest of my life with that woman.

313
00:13:35,473 --> 00:13:36,724
With the way you are breathing,

314
00:13:36,725 --> 00:13:39,042
That would have been
just another 20 minutes.

315
00:13:40,812 --> 00:13:43,347
A little sympathy right now
would be appropriate.

316
00:13:43,348 --> 00:13:44,415
I'm really hurting.

317
00:13:44,416 --> 00:13:47,768
Your self-pity
shrivels my gonads.

318
00:13:47,769 --> 00:13:49,653
What?

319
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:51,689
Do you know in the village
I grew up in,

320
00:13:51,690 --> 00:13:53,691
A large man like you
gets all the women?

321
00:13:53,692 --> 00:13:55,058
Really?
Oh, yes.

322
00:13:55,059 --> 00:13:58,145
A sizeable man represents
great wealth and power.

323
00:13:58,146 --> 00:13:59,330
You go to my country,

324
00:13:59,331 --> 00:14:02,466
You get more ass
than an elephant's back.

325
00:14:04,753 --> 00:14:06,286
That's something to think about.

326
00:14:07,038 --> 00:14:09,673
Location, location, location.

327
00:14:13,011 --> 00:14:16,246
Another pitcher of beer and
more pretzels for my men!

328
00:14:16,247 --> 00:14:17,247
No, no.

329
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:18,349
No more pretzels.

330
00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:19,433
You've had enough pretzels.

331
00:14:19,434 --> 00:14:21,084
You're supposed
to be on a diet.

332
00:14:21,085 --> 00:14:22,720
The hell with diets.

333
00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:24,888
Why should I struggle
to maintain this figure

334
00:14:24,889 --> 00:14:28,942
If nobody's ever gonna love me?

335
00:14:28,943 --> 00:14:31,428
Hey, I love you.

336
00:14:31,429 --> 00:14:33,897
Thanks, man.

337
00:14:33,898 --> 00:14:36,033
I appreciate that.

338
00:14:37,869 --> 00:14:40,604
You're not gonna
say it back, are you?

339
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,241
Selfish son of a bitch.

340
00:14:46,294 --> 00:14:49,630
If we are willing to take
a risk, there's a girl's number

341
00:14:49,631 --> 00:14:53,417
On the stall door and she is
available to do anything.

342
00:14:53,418 --> 00:14:55,285
No, I already tried it.

343
00:14:55,286 --> 00:14:58,172
It was just some High School kid
calling me a homo.

344
00:14:59,674 --> 00:15:02,176
Hey, we don't need women.

345
00:15:02,177 --> 00:15:04,812
I mean, they don't do anything
but cause problems.

346
00:15:04,813 --> 00:15:06,096
He ain't wrong.

347
00:15:06,097 --> 00:15:07,648
This would be
a much better world

348
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:09,400
If there were no women
mucking it up.

349
00:15:09,401 --> 00:15:12,770
Just guys hanging out
with other guys.

350
00:15:12,771 --> 00:15:14,822
Not to be a stick in the mud,

351
00:15:14,823 --> 00:15:17,991
But I am not drunk enough
for what you are implying.

352
00:15:17,992 --> 00:15:21,361
And you are implying
stick in the mud, am I right?

353
00:15:23,198 --> 00:15:25,849
No.

354
00:15:25,850 --> 00:15:28,702
No, I'm just saying that we can
have fun without women.

355
00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:29,753
Damn right.

356
00:15:29,754 --> 00:15:32,039
We're three
single, attractive men.

357
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,340
The world is our oyster.

358
00:15:33,341 --> 00:15:34,425
Carl:
Absolutely.

359
00:15:34,426 --> 00:15:36,043
We can go anywhere,
do anything we want,

360
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:37,678
And we don't need women
to do it.

361
00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:39,213
Where are we going?
Strip club.

362
00:15:39,214 --> 00:15:40,764
Strip club!

363
00:15:43,718 --> 00:15:44,685
Maybe we should just

364
00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,553
Hit a white castle,
call it a night.

365
00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:47,888
No, no.

366
00:15:47,889 --> 00:15:51,275
We're not going home till
we see some naked female bodies.

367
00:15:51,276 --> 00:15:53,560
Excuse me.

368
00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:54,528
Ndugu?

369
00:15:54,529 --> 00:15:57,114
Go cubbies.

370
00:15:57,115 --> 00:15:59,032
Right.

371
00:15:59,033 --> 00:16:00,984
Uh, listen, my man,
could you please

372
00:16:00,985 --> 00:16:02,569
Take us to
the nearest strip club?

373
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,655
Bikini or all nude?

374
00:16:04,656 --> 00:16:06,290
I'm thinking all nude.

375
00:16:06,291 --> 00:16:07,708
Definitely.

376
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:12,463
If we're going bird watching,
I want to see a bald eagle.

377
00:16:13,915 --> 00:16:15,499
I wonder if some of those women

378
00:16:15,500 --> 00:16:18,385
Don't feel comfortable
getting totally nude.

379
00:16:18,386 --> 00:16:21,538
Well, then they should've
finished High School.

380
00:16:21,539 --> 00:16:23,974
No, I'm saying, maybe
taking your clothes off

381
00:16:23,975 --> 00:16:27,761
In front of strangers
can be a little scary.

382
00:16:27,762 --> 00:16:29,146
I knew it.

383
00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:31,398
I knew that's what was
going on with you.

384
00:16:31,399 --> 00:16:33,049
You were right, Carl.

385
00:16:33,050 --> 00:16:35,102
But I had to come to it myself.

386
00:16:35,103 --> 00:16:38,522
Well, I should know
not to push you.

387
00:16:38,523 --> 00:16:39,940
Give me some love.

388
00:16:45,446 --> 00:16:48,499
If they start kissing,
pull over and I'll walk home.

389
00:16:48,500 --> 00:16:50,734
And by "home" I mean Africa.

390
00:16:54,255 --> 00:16:56,256
Wait, wait, what do I say here?

391
00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:59,126
Just start talking and see
where the liquor takes you.

392
00:16:59,127 --> 00:17:00,093
(doorbell rings)

393
00:17:00,094 --> 00:17:02,629
You're a good friend, Carl.

394
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:03,931
I really do love you.

395
00:17:03,932 --> 00:17:05,716
I'm sorry I hesitated before.

396
00:17:05,717 --> 00:17:07,684
That's all right, man.

397
00:17:07,685 --> 00:17:09,085
I know what's in your heart.

398
00:17:09,086 --> 00:17:11,638
And I love you, Samuel.

399
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:15,526
And I know when I get to know
you better, I will love you.

400
00:17:15,527 --> 00:17:17,361
Ndugu.

401
00:17:17,362 --> 00:17:19,646
And ndugu to you, too.

402
00:17:23,601 --> 00:17:26,703
<i>What the hell is this,
the little rascals?</i>

403
00:17:31,442 --> 00:17:34,545
I apologize for the lateness
of the hour, Mrs. Flynn,

404
00:17:34,546 --> 00:17:36,713
But I really need
to talk to Molly.

405
00:17:36,714 --> 00:17:39,166
Well, she doesn't
want to talk to you.

406
00:17:40,618 --> 00:17:43,453
Eh, she didn't let the liquor
get a word in edgewise.

407
00:17:47,175 --> 00:17:49,009
So, what now?

408
00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:50,143
Strip club?

409
00:17:50,144 --> 00:17:51,812
No.

410
00:17:51,813 --> 00:17:54,631
So far this week, I've lost
three hats and a girlfriend,

411
00:17:54,632 --> 00:17:58,068
And I ain't calling it a night
until I get one of them back.

412
00:18:00,655 --> 00:18:04,191
Uh, what is the significance of
"three hats and a girlfriend"?

413
00:18:04,192 --> 00:18:05,909
I don't know.

414
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:09,112
A lot of what they say
is just gibberish to me.

415
00:18:12,316 --> 00:18:13,650
(clattering)

416
00:18:13,651 --> 00:18:14,785
What the hell?

417
00:18:14,786 --> 00:18:16,620
Mike (in distance):
♪ when chains are torn ♪

418
00:18:16,621 --> 00:18:19,423
♪ by courage born ♪

419
00:18:19,424 --> 00:18:21,174
♪ a time when dreams ♪

420
00:18:21,175 --> 00:18:23,994
♪ so long denied ♪

421
00:18:23,995 --> 00:18:27,097
♪ can flourish ♪

422
00:18:27,098 --> 00:18:30,050
Sweet Jesus, what are you doing?

423
00:18:30,051 --> 00:18:34,938
Thy mother shall not
keep me from thy maidenhead.

424
00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:37,357
Am I the only one touched

425
00:18:37,358 --> 00:18:39,793
By the romance of this moment?

426
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:41,311
No.

427
00:18:41,312 --> 00:18:42,779
(voice breaking):
I feel it, too.

428
00:18:42,780 --> 00:18:45,716
Yeah, it's a hallmark
moment until Romeo falls

429
00:18:45,717 --> 00:18:47,784
And crushes us to death.

430
00:18:49,153 --> 00:18:50,704
Are you crazy?

431
00:18:50,705 --> 00:18:51,705
You're gonna kill yourself.

432
00:18:51,706 --> 00:18:53,273
I don't care.

433
00:18:53,274 --> 00:18:55,375
I need to tell you something.

434
00:18:55,376 --> 00:18:58,512
The other night when we were
kissing and you invited me in,

435
00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,447
I panicked because
I didn't want you

436
00:19:00,448 --> 00:19:02,299
To see me without my clothes on.

437
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,918
What? Why?

438
00:19:04,919 --> 00:19:06,853
I was hoping to lose
a little weight first,

439
00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,805
So you'd be turned on by me.

440
00:19:08,806 --> 00:19:10,474
Oh, Mike.

441
00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:12,208
How much weight
are you talking about?

442
00:19:12,209 --> 00:19:15,562
I don't know, 160 pounds.

443
00:19:16,397 --> 00:19:18,582
You idiot.

444
00:19:18,583 --> 00:19:20,167
I don't know
if you've noticed this,

445
00:19:20,168 --> 00:19:22,352
But I'm not exactly perfect.

446
00:19:22,353 --> 00:19:24,738
You are to me.

447
00:19:24,739 --> 00:19:27,908
Get in here.

448
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:29,726
All right, but I've
had a lot to drink

449
00:19:29,727 --> 00:19:31,662
And the first one might
not be that great.

450
00:19:31,663 --> 00:19:33,530
Just get in here.

451
00:19:35,333 --> 00:19:36,750
(snoring)

452
00:19:36,751 --> 00:19:39,052
Mike? Mike?

453
00:19:39,053 --> 00:19:40,187
(snoring)

454
00:19:40,188 --> 00:19:42,673
Now that's not something
you see every day.

455
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:48,845
A house giving birth.

456
00:19:51,299 --> 00:19:53,016
Hey, little help!

457
00:20:01,505 --> 00:20:03,757
Hey, Molly?
What?

458
00:20:03,758 --> 00:20:06,159
Tonight's probably
not gonna happen.

459
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,528
I understand.

460
00:20:08,529 --> 00:20:11,748
I just really want our
first time to be perfect.

461
00:20:11,749 --> 00:20:13,967
Me, too.

462
00:20:13,968 --> 00:20:17,470
I'm sorry if you felt like
I was rushing things.

463
00:20:17,471 --> 00:20:21,241
I just really wanted you.

464
00:20:21,242 --> 00:20:23,610
I want you, too.

465
00:20:25,046 --> 00:20:28,248
♪ a time for love... ♪

466
00:20:28,249 --> 00:20:29,416
Okay.

467
00:20:30,735 --> 00:20:32,786
Try and get a little sleep.

468
00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:35,071
Yeah, sleep's good.

469
00:20:35,072 --> 00:20:36,489
Good night, Molly.

470
00:20:36,490 --> 00:20:38,658
Good night, Mike.

471
00:20:41,295 --> 00:20:43,713
Good night, Carl.

472
00:20:43,714 --> 00:20:46,532
Good night, Mike.

473
00:20:46,533 --> 00:20:48,201
Good night, Molly.

474
00:20:48,202 --> 00:20:49,719
Good night, Carl.

475
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:51,254
Good night, Samuel.

476
00:20:51,255 --> 00:20:54,307
Good night, Molly.

477
00:20:54,308 --> 00:20:56,643
<i>Mike:
Good night, Samuel.</i>

478
00:20:56,644 --> 00:20:58,211
<i>Samuel:
Good night, Mike.</i>

479
00:20:58,212 --> 00:20:59,596
<i>Carl:
Good night, Samuel.</i>

480
00:20:59,597 --> 00:21:01,064
<i>Samuel:
Good night, Carl.</i>

481
00:21:08,065 --> 00:21:12,484
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