Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
Ah.
Mm.
Arthur...
Tea.
Come in.
Mary!
Oh, Ma'am, Ma'am!
There's a body in the library!
Arthur, wake up.
Hmm?
Arthur.
Dolly?
Mary just said there's a body in the library.
Say that again?
There's a body in the library, Mary just said so.
Impossible! Must've imagined it.
I didn't imagine!
I've told you before, old girl, not to read this sort of thing
last thing at night.
Why's that?
Why hasn't Mary drawn the curtains, hmmm?
Arthur?
I am not going downstairs to ask if there's a body in my library!
Arthur?
I directed that nothing should be done till you came down, sir.
Shall I call the police, sir?
Are you seriously trying to tell me
that there's a dead body in my library?
Perhaps you'd care to come and see for yourself, sir.
Hello, Police House?
Right.
Bill! It's for you.
Me?
Hello?
Who's there?
Well?
It's there all right!
But, Arthur!
I know!
It's a complete nonsense!
You really have to pinch yourself, don't you?
A body in OUR library!
MY dear!
Still, there it is, as large as...
Look, old girl. Bound to be a bit of a hullabaloo.
How about some company for you, eh? You know.
What a good idea, Arthur!
That is quite right.
Now, always remember to make it into a nice, pointy mountain.
- Just like that, and well done. - Yes, Ma'am.
Well, the brass looks quite smart.
Well done.
Thank you, Ma'am.
Oh dear, well, I wonder... Who's that?
St Mary Mead 35?
Is that you, Jane?
Oh! You're up very early, Dolly!
My dear! We've just found a body in our library.
I'm coming down to fetch you so that you can see it
before Constable Palk gets here. Is that all right?
Dolly, what are you talking about?
What body?
Yes, quite! That's just it.
We've never seen her before. It ought to be a practical joke,
except that she's dead!
She's a blonde, platinum blonde,
in our library!
You will come, won't you?
That's right, yeah. Is Inspector Slack there, please?
Oh! Your buttons is all wrong!
The Colonel...
Ssshhh!
How come the Colonel don't know nothing about it,
seeing as how it's in HIS library?
Bill!
Where you be going?
Gossington Hall!
Wait for me!
Arthur's being difficult.
He doesn't think that I were to enjoy myself about it one bit.
But then, I don't know the girl at all.
And it's odd that she doesn't somehow seem to be real,
if you know what I mean.
Yes.
Yes, I do.
I agree. She's not real.
She's very young.
It's all right, Betty, I'll go.
You can, er, you'd better...
...Hang on.
Ah Palk, good man.
Morning, Colonel. Perhaps if, er...
You didn't tell me you were bringing the chief constable over?
No, I...
Hallo, Bantry. Just heard the news.
Thought I'd pop over on my way in.
Oh, very good of you.
Has Inspector Slack arrived yet?
Slack? No.
Bad show, all this. In the library, I gather.
Go on in, Constable, I'll join you in a minute.
Mary'll show you. Mary?
Show the constable in.
Thank you, Colonel.
Come on.
Must've been a nasty shock for you. How's Dolly taking it?
- Miss Marple. - Erm... morning, Bill.
Don't worry, Constable. We haven't touched anything.
Even a novice reader of detective stories knows that.
- You say you've never seen the girl before? - Never clapped eyes on her.
Ah, Colonel Melchett.
- How are you? - Hello, Mrs Bantry.
And the redoubtable Miss Marple.
- Oh... - Beaten me to it, I see.
- Oh. Good morning, Chief Constable. - That's the right word for you, Jane.
Redoubtable.
- I didn't know you two knew each other. - Oh, yes. We're old cronies.
I've long held that Miss Marple has what
I would call forensic intuition developed to the point of genius.
- Oh... - The result, she tells me,
of a lifetime's education in an English village.
Well, one does see so much evil, I fear.
But if I do have any intuition, may I use it now
and suggest my being here makes you uncomfortable?
That's the reason for these compliments, I suspect.
It had crossed my mind that you might dog
our official plodding footsteps.
Nonsense, Melchett.
It's been a bit of a jolt, you know, this business.
Dolly asked Jane over simply... Well, you know, woman to woman.
She may look as if she's taking it calmly,
but with this sort of thing, well, there's no telling, is there?
What?
Have you left us any breakfast, Arthur?
I hardly ate a thing.
Well, there may be not telling what sort of state I'm in,
but I think I could eat a horse.
Jane?
Good. Right. Better take a look at the library, then.
I'll show you.
Thank you, Lorrimer.
Well, Jane?
Well, I suppose she does remind me a little of Mrs Chetty's youngest,
Edie, you know.
I think that's because this poor girl bit her nails.
Yes. Edie was fond of cheap finery too.
- That satin dress she was wearing. - Oh, dear me, yes.
Very poor quality indeed.
But what was she doing in Arthur's library?
Well, she wasn't dressed for burglary, was she?
No. Dressed for dancing. Quite.
- Or a party. - Yes. But we don't have parties.
At least not that sort of party, do we?
Do we?
Oh, no!
Jane!
I knew his mother!
All the same.
Selina Blake is the nicest person imaginable
and she has the finest herbaceous border in the county.
Mind you, Arthur does very nearly burst a blood vessel
whenever Basil Blake's name is mentioned.
Did I ever tell you, Basil Blake was frightfully rude to Arthur.
Terrible argument about the army, Empire, that sort of thing.
And Basil Blake called Arthur a fossilised old B-U-G-G etc...
And those clothes he wears...
Well, I think the clothes are all of a pattern with the language
and intended to have the same effect.
Oh, but he was an adorable baby.
Well, according to his picture in last Sunday's paper,
the Cheviot murderer was an adorable baby.
Jane, you're not serious!
No, no, but I'm just trying to account for the young woman's presence here.
And Basil Blake does have parties, you know.
Remember last year? Cars roaring through at all times of the night.
Yes, but I expect that was those film people, Jane, you know.
Well, doesn't he bring down a young woman most weekends now?
A blonde?
A platinum blonde?
All right, miss.
Just tell Colonel Bantry my people will be closing off the library...
Oh, dear. Splendid, Slack. The young lady will show you where.
All right, lads, follow the young lady. Come on, Fletcher, Pringle, get a move on.
Come on, lad! We haven't got all day!
Preliminaries shouldn't take very long, sir. I'll report shortly.
- Yes, I'll speak to you later. - Right, sir.
Who is that?
Inspector Slack. Highly inappropriate name.
Gives me a headache. - Right, gentlemen. Usual procedure.
Don't touch anything until I've had a good shifty myself.
Then you can get going with your box brownies.
I still think it might be helpful if you could tell me
your movements last night.
My movements?
Well, it might throw up some little detail
you didn't think you'd noticed.
Oh, very well. Where shall I begin?
Did you dine at home?
Yes. 7.30, as usual.
In fact, I probably left the table about 8.15,
as I was driving over to Much Benham.
I'm treasurer of the Much Benham Association, you know.
It was a good meeting, didn't go on too long, like some of them.
Pouring with rain when we came out.
My regards to your wife, Colonel!
Thank you very much. Good night.
Blast!
- So you were back at 11.45? - Yes.
- Did you go into the library? - No.
Pity.
There was no need. I was tired and soaking wet.
I went straight to bed after I cleaned up.
Come in.
- Excuse me, sir. - Yes, carry on.
What is it, Slack?
Could I have a word, please, sir?
Very well.
Excuse me.
Dr Haydock's here. I can't do much while he's conducting his rituals,
so I've just been on to HQ, sir.
And what have HQ got to say for themselves?
Missing persons.
They think they've got a likely candidate.
A young female from one of the big hotels
down on the front at Danemouth.
Danemouth?
I know it's 15 miles, but that's only half an hour or so,
even on those roads.
Very well, then.
I'll check it, then.
Yes. Very well.
Now, where were we?
- I'd gone up to bed. - Oh, yes.
- Anyone else up? - No, Dolly'd gone to bed.
Lorrimer retired to his quarters about 11.00.
What do you know about Lorrimer?
First class fellow. Practically grew up with him.
I know since the war,
houses have had to make do with what they can get.
We've had to take on some daily help ourselves, I believe.
Dolly says we've been damned lucky. No, no, vouch for them all.
Now, look here, Bantry.
I'd like your absolute assurance that you have never in fact
seen this girl before.
I dare say you do.
You see, old boy, just between ourselves,
if you were tied up with this girl in any way,
much better to let it come out now.
Good God, man! I'm not suggesting that you murdered the girl,
but you must see that it could be very awkward.
I mean, there's no avoiding the fact that she's lying there dead in your library.
I have already told you, Melchett. I never saw that girl before.
Fair enough?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
you'll find some coffee in the dining room.
OK, Nicholls. A couple more...
You can't come in here, sir.
Oh, can't I?
But, sir, I...
Going owling.
I'm sorry, sir. He just burst in. I couldn't stop him, could I?
I'm afraid I am eating like a horse.
Jane, are you sure you won't join me?
Oh, quite sure, thank you, Dolly.
Oh, dear.
- Arthur mentioned coffee. - Of course, Colonel Melchett.
Come in.
Thank you.
Arthur's upset.
I always know he's got something on his mind
when he goes off to Home Farm.
We have pigs at Home Farm.
Something very restful about pigs.
The philosophers of the animal kingdom.
When Arthur takes his gun with him, it means that he's really upset.
How does that follow?
Well, he only takes his gun with him
to pretend that he's not going to Home Farm,
which means he's pretending that he hasn't got anything on his mind.
Which means, of course, that he's very upset.
I'm afraid that may be my fault.
Awkward business, questioning a neighbour.
I'm sure you were very tactful.
It's all been a bit of a shock to him, you see.
Poor old thing. Doesn't even shoot any more.
Well, Colonel Melchett, can we help you in any way?
No, but I'm sure Miss Marple can.
She probably has the answer to this whole business already.
Oh, no. Nothing like that, I assure you. No.
Nonsense.
She's practically solved it already. Tell him about Basil Blake.
Now, Dolly...
Yes?
I'm Colonel Melchett, Chief Constable.
A friend of your mother's asked me to have a word with you.
Did she?
To keep it unofficial.
You may not have noticed,
but I'm not actually wearing the old school tie.
Mr Blake, I'd like my visit to be as discreet as possible,
but I am here in my capacity as a policeman.
May I come in?
Why not?
Make yourself at home.
Thank you
You do your housework early, Mr Blake?
Not at all.
I haven't been to bed yet. - Indeed.
Is that significant, Chief Constable?
Probably not. I was at a studio party.
All night?
Certainly. It was an orgy.
Some of the things that went on
would have exceeded your professional imagination.
I got back at dawn.
Drink? - Thank you, no.
Mr Blake, are you alone here this weekend?
Well, it would appear so, wouldn't it?
I understand that you normally have a visitor, a young woman.
Blonde, I believe.
Ah! So that's the crime, is it?
Have the old cats in the village been onto you?
When did they put rural fornication on the statute book?
I am here, Mr Blake, because a young woman,
a blonde young woman, has been found murdered.
Blimey!
- Where? - At Gossington Hall.
Gossington? At old Bantry's.
The dirty old soldier!
Mr Blake, I'll thank you to...
I'm not in the habit of procuring blondes for the decrepit gentry.
And it's not mine either. I haven't lost mine.
I haven't even mislaid her.
Ah! The plot dilutes, Chief Constable!
That sounds like the prodigal blonde.
You should have had that drink.
Blake!
Blake! You bastard! Where are you?
Blake!
What the hell do you think you're doing,
running out on me like that?
If I take you to a party, I expect you to behave yourself.
You do not snog with overweight Hungarians!
And if you do, you do so out of sight.
As a spectacle, it has its limitations.
You bloody hypocrite!
May I introduce you to the Chief Constable of the county?
How do you do?
There you are then, Colonel.
My blonde bit appears to be alive and scratching.
So why don't you go and see about Bantry's?
The receptionist will be along in a moment.
I want to speak to the manager. It's urgent. Very.
Get him for me, will you?
Who can I say it is?
Detective Inspector Slack. Who are you?
Raymond Starr. I'm the tennis pro, dance instructor.
General purpose gigolo.
- I wish you wouldn't say that, Ray. - Are you the receptionist?
I want to speak to the manager immediately.
Tell him it's important.
I am the manager. Alistair Prescott.
What is it...? - Inspector Slack.
Would you care to come into my office, Inspector?
Good morning, Mr Starr.
Good morning, Mrs Jefferson.
All right, Ray then.
Was that a police car I saw outside?
Yes.
Inspector Lestrade is giving Prescott the third degree.
- Have they traced Ruby yet? - I presume not.
I think he would have been less officious if he had a success on his hands.
Do tell me when you know anything, won't you?
I'd better go now, the doctor's with the old man.
As soon as you hear anything, Ray.
Of course.
Her name is Ruby Keene.
She's our dance hostess. She's quite slim. Medium height.
Well, perhaps on the short side. - No, thank you.
She's 18, platinum blonde hair, blue eyes.
Quite quiet. Never been any trouble.
Good, good. Got any photographs?
She brought one, yes. For publicity, you know.
It was stolen from the showcase about a week ago.
An admirer probably. Does happen. Sorry about that.
Then I shall need someone to look at the body.
Body?
Oh, my God!
But you didn't say.
- Car accident? - Murder.
Oh, my God!
Calm down, it wasn't on the premises.
Oh, my God!
Oh, you're still here, are you?
Good.
Got a diary? - Yes.
Listen, about this girl...
Ruby? Have you found her?
- We've found a body. - Is it her?
We don't know. We need somebody to identify her.
Someone who knew her well.
I see. Well, we all knew her.
But she has a cousin. The name's Josie.
Careful.
Can I help?
Inspector, I'm Josephine Turner. Can I help you in any way?
I hope so, Miss Turner.
Yes.
I'm sorry to have had to put you through that, Miss Turner.
That's all right.
You've no doubts?
No, I'm afraid not. That's Ruby all right.
No, thanks.
How did...? What happened?
She was strangled.
We think with the belt of her own dress.
It wouldn't have taken much, if she was surprised, you see?
There was no significant struggle and no interference.
The report is quite clear. She was a Virgo intacta.
I see. Thanks.
It happened between ten o'clock and midnight.
Poor little Ruby.
Men are such swines.
Yes, I suppose it's a reasonable assumption that it was a man.
Did you have a particular man in mind?
No, Ruby kept all that side of things a bit dark.
She wouldn't have told me.
My guess is she wouldn't have had a boyfriend.
You know, a regular boyfriend.
Last night, I began to wonder.
Tell us about her.
You said it was your idea that she came to the Majestic.
Yes, that's right.
I'm dance and bridge hostess. Been in the place about three years.
We try to make up bridge fours that will get on with each other,
so it's just a question of tact and experience really.
And there's the dancing.
I do a couple of exhibition dances every evening with Raymond.
He's the tennis pro as well.
Season got off to a good start.
Then I went and ruined it all by cracking a small bone in my ankle.
It's very awkward. Didn't want the hotel to get anyone else.
Didn't want my pitch queered, thanks. So I thought of Ruby.
I mean, she's family, I thought.
And she was delighted.
The idea was that I'd keep on as bridge hostess
and Ruby would do the dancing for the rest of the season.
How long ago was that?
About a month.
And was Miss Keene a success?
She was all right.
Raymond's quite clever. He carried her through.
You know, she was a nice looking girl. People seemed to like her.
Would you mind telling us exactly what happened last night?
Well, from about 10.30,
I was playing bridge with a family called the Jeffersons.
Ruby would have been dancing with one of her partners then.
In fact, she was till... at least 11.00.
Next thing I knew, Ray came to tell me
she hadn't turned up for the midnight session.
So we both went to look for her.
We're supposed to be on now.
- Yes, I know. - We've looked for her!
She's your responsibility, Josie!
I don't know. The little terrace at the end?
You can only get there from Prescott's rooms.
Where the hell is she?
- Let's look somewhere else. - Josie, we've looked there!
Come on, it's a quarter past two.
It's too late now to give anyone a piece of your mind.
You can wake the little minx up nice and early.
That'll teach her.
Good idea.
- Who reported her missing? - Jefferson. A Mr Jefferson.
One of your bridge party, I suppose. Yes?
Yes.
I gather there was some resistance from the hotel manager, sir,
but this Mr Jefferson is one of their wealthier guests?
Yes, but why him?
He had a soft spot for Ruby, I think. He's an invalid. He fusses.
I see.
Well, I've no doubt we'll be speaking to him in due course.
Now, did your cousin ever mention Gossington?
Gossington?
- Yes, Gossington Hall. - Never heard of it.
It's where her body was found.
Gossington Hall? How extraordinary!
Do you happen to know Colonel or Mrs Bantry?
No.
A Mr Basil Blake?
Rings a bell.
Excuse me, sir.
Could I have a word?
In private.
Very well.
Excuse me, Miss Turner.
Well?
Colonel...
Colonel Bantry dined at the Majestic last week, sir.
It was in the hotel reservations diary.
What are you trying to say, Slack?
I am aware that the Colonel is a friend Of yours, sir.
So?
I think we should take Miss Turner to Gossington Hall.
It may be true that she and the Colonel have never met,
but on the other hand, sir, it may not.
Miss Turner, I wonder if you would do us just one more thing.
Would you mind accompanying us to Gossington Hall?
She was there on the hearth rug.
I can't understand it. Really.
- Well, we certainly can't. - I mean it isn't the sort of place...
Quite.
That's what makes it so very, very interesting, wouldn't you say?
Is your good man going to be long, do you think?
Cheerio, Lucinda.
This scraper's useless! Lorrimer, where are my house shoes?
Dolly, if you don't want me to bring mud in the house,
either get Lorrimer to fix that scraper, or sort out some sort of house shoes.
The war's over, you know.
Oh.
How do you do?
This is Miss Turner.
Arthur Bantry.
Pleased to meet you.
Miss Turner has come from the mortuary to identify the... body, Arthur.
She was her cousin.
Ah.
Nasty business.
I'm so sorry, my dear.
Are you... from these parts?
Miss Turner works at the um...
...the Majestic.
- Majestic? - Yes.
- In Danemouth? - Yes.
How extraordinary.
Why do you say that, sir?
Well, old Jefferson's staying at the Majestic.
He let me down, you know.
Sent me a card, then couldn't make it in the end.
I'm sorry, Bantry.
Could you explain that... a little more?
Yes, of course. Proper report.
Well, I had a card from Conway Jefferson,
saying that he was down for a spring holiday
and the Magistrates Association was meeting in Danemouth,
so I arranged to dine with him at the Majestic.
When was that? Last Thursday.
Thursday week, you understand.
Old Jeff wasn't too well, his man said.
And Mark and Adelaide had gone to the pictures.
So...
...I ate alone.
Thursday is the cook's day off, you see.
No point in Arthur hurrying home to cold meat and salad.
So there it is.
First, no alibi... now this.
Puts me in it good and proper, doesn't it?
Oh, don't be foolish, Arthur.
I'm sure Jane has worked it out already.
Jane? Have you an explanation for us?
Well, I have an explanation, but of course it's only my own idea.
Yes, urn...
Tommy Bond and our new school mistress, Mrs Martin...
She went to wind up the clock and the frog jumped out.
Oh...
I'll wait for you in the car, Ms Turner.
How's old Conway? Any better?
Oh, he's wonderful, considering.
He's very cheerful.
And the family? Mark and Adelaide? They all right?
Yes...
Yes! Yes.
Ms Turner, they are all right, aren't they?
I mean, they are nice people, as I remember?
Oh, yes. Yes, they are, really.
Anyway, cheerio, then.
Oh, Bantry.
I just thought I'd...
- Slack. - I won't be a moment, Ms Turner.
Ruby Keene may not have acquired a new boyfriend
during the last few weeks,
but I think there will have been someone, some time.
Pick it out, will you? The other thing is this fellow, Blake.
He claims he was at a party, at a studio, most of last night.
I want to know what time he left.
I know tomorrow's Sunday, but I'd like to make a start at the hotel.
Oh, and do your best to keep the press out of it,
otherwise it will be impossible.
And make an appointment with this fellow Jefferson.
Yes, I'll come with you. Call me.
Got you, sir.
And about Colonel Bantry...
- Sir... - Well done. Always best to make sure.
Well, Jane, what do you think of Ms Turner?
There's something worrying that young woman.
She was quite all right until the Jeffersons were mentioned,
and then her manner became quite altered.
She hardly seemed upset at her death.
Hardly, at all. - Quite so.
I don't think she cared for her.
Seemed to make her more angry than anything else.
Oh... What is it?
Oh, nothing.
I found a body!
You'll be the death of me!
I found a body!
All right, you got a bit excited, did you?
I think we all did.
When are they going to take it away?
Oh, they've already done that.
All they've got to do now is solve the crime.
What is it?
My body.
No, no, it's not yours, lad.
I found it!
No, Mary found it.
I found it! It's my body!
Malcolm, Malcolm...
All right, you can say you found it if you want to.
I don't suppose Mary will mind.
I must be off. Give my regards to your mum.
Jane, how would you like to spend
a few days at The Majestic in Danemouth?
You could see where this poor girl worked and so on.
What do you say?
Oh, golly. I'm not very good at hotels.
But if you really think...
I'll come too. We could share a suite.
I don't know. I feel I'd like the air to clear here for a bit.
It's upset me a bit, all this business.
I'd like it cleared up.
Don't want Arthur brooding. He's not a natural brooder.
It doesn't suit him.
What do you think?
I could book us in for tomorrow.
Yes, I think a little sea air would be very pleasant.
You do understand, don't you, Jane?
Yes. Yes, I do.
Just what everyone will be saying. It's so unfair.
He's just a little silly sometimes,
about pretty girls who come here to play tennis. That's all.
Rather fatuous and avuncular.
Doesn't mean anything.
Why shouldn't he?
After all, I have my garden.
- Jefferson first, sir. - Slack.
I think I'll tackle Jefferson on my own.
Less intimidating, hmm?
You get the incident room ready and I'll look in before I leave.
Mr Jefferson spends his money, I see.
Oh, yes. Always takes our Princess Elizabeth suite.
The whole family dine a la carte.
He's a burgundy man, nothing inferior to pommard.
Oh, yes. He expects the best and we provide it.
Sometimes, I think he's never heard of ration.
His daughter-in-law, Mrs Adelaide Jefferson, has an adjoining suite.
Both his own children were killed in a plane crash, you know.
Mr Gaskell, his son-in-law, is on the next floor.
Good morning, Mrs Jefferson. This is Colonel Melchett.
He would like to...
Thank you, Mr Prescott, it's absolutely understood.
Yes, of course.
My father-in-law is expecting you, Chief Constable,
but I'd be awfully grateful if you didn't take up too much of his time.
He's not been frightfully well,
and this has been something of a shock for him.
Good morning, Colonel Melchett.
I'm Conway Jefferson.
Thank you.
That's lovely.
Thank you. That's most kind.
Now, could we have coffee for two, please?
Yes, ma'am, certainly.
Jane.
Oh, I say.
Isn't this just the thing?
Sea air.
Jane?
Are you thinking?
I understand that it was you, Mr Jefferson, who insisted
that the hotel manager telephoned the police yesterday morning.
That is true.
May I ask what your interest in this girl was?
I was more than interested.
I was going to adopt her.
Ruby Keene was about to become my daughter.
Here we are, Jane.
Isn't this nice?
Oh, why am I such a muddle head?
- You?! - Oh, but I am.
Things swim in and out, pop up here and there.
I don't know what they are or what they're doing.
This poor child who's been murdered. There's something missing, you know.
There's something linked with this business that hasn't yet been found.
I don't know what it is.
I did.
I did find a body.
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll