1 00:00:00,941 --> 00:00:02,422 Yeah well, I... 2 00:00:02,423 --> 00:00:03,961 I'll leave it to you, Wendy. 3 00:00:03,995 --> 00:00:06,281 No. Why don't you just buy the tickets 4 00:00:06,315 --> 00:00:08,598 And I'll be there? 5 00:00:10,216 --> 00:00:12,929 That sounds... 6 00:00:12,969 --> 00:00:14,842 That sounds fine. 7 00:00:18,462 --> 00:00:20,271 That sounds fine too. 8 00:00:20,305 --> 00:00:22,012 It's a bit... 9 00:00:22,046 --> 00:00:23,717 A bit asinine. 10 00:00:24,855 --> 00:00:28,336 No no. No no, Wendy. Go... go ahead. 11 00:00:28,371 --> 00:00:30,544 I love asinine. 12 00:00:33,989 --> 00:00:36,297 Okay. Oh. 13 00:00:36,331 --> 00:00:39,939 Cobble hill. 6:50. 14 00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:43,617 No, let's... let's meet there, okay? 15 00:00:43,651 --> 00:00:45,289 I-I... uh... 16 00:00:45,323 --> 00:00:47,093 I just want to drop some things off 17 00:00:47,128 --> 00:00:48,830 At my place. 18 00:00:48,864 --> 00:00:51,337 I'm stopping by the market right now. 19 00:00:51,371 --> 00:00:55,113 Soy milk. Okay. 20 00:00:55,147 --> 00:00:57,918 - Organic. - Uh... 21 00:00:57,953 --> 00:01:00,289 Okay, I... I've gotta run, Wendy. 22 00:01:00,324 --> 00:01:03,529 Okay, organic. I've got it. Talk to you later. 23 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,937 Sorry, I... I didn't hear you come in. 24 00:01:06,971 --> 00:01:08,942 Hi, I'm Adele Brouse. 25 00:01:08,976 --> 00:01:11,414 - Paul Weston. - Please come inside. 26 00:01:11,449 --> 00:01:13,417 Thank you. 27 00:01:30,929 --> 00:01:33,452 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 28 00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:45,739 Well, 29 00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:48,277 It's, um... 30 00:01:48,312 --> 00:01:51,349 It's very bright in here. 31 00:01:51,383 --> 00:01:55,923 My, uh... my office is dark... 32 00:01:55,957 --> 00:01:59,595 More... Burrowlike. 33 00:01:59,630 --> 00:02:01,265 Should I lower the shades? 34 00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:03,369 No no no no, they're fine. 35 00:02:03,403 --> 00:02:07,542 I should practice casting off my molish ways. 36 00:02:15,155 --> 00:02:18,760 The sun is probably... 37 00:02:18,794 --> 00:02:21,797 It's probably good for me. They... 38 00:02:21,831 --> 00:02:24,968 They say it helps with sleep. 39 00:02:25,836 --> 00:02:28,305 Ahem. 40 00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:30,642 That would be something, wouldn't it? Just... 41 00:02:30,676 --> 00:02:32,444 If that's all it took... 42 00:02:32,479 --> 00:02:34,848 A healthy dose of sunlight, 43 00:02:34,882 --> 00:02:39,054 So I could just go outside, and... 44 00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:41,324 I wouldn't need to be here. 45 00:02:41,359 --> 00:02:42,859 You'd rather not be here. 46 00:02:42,894 --> 00:02:46,832 Very astute, but the truth is, I don't really mind. 47 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:49,335 Long as I leave with... 48 00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,439 - With what I came for. - You said on the phone you're in need 49 00:02:52,474 --> 00:02:55,777 - Of a refill of your Ambien prescription? - Yeah, that's correct. 50 00:02:55,811 --> 00:02:59,549 And I'll take that to go, please. 51 00:03:02,754 --> 00:03:04,522 I think I explained 52 00:03:04,557 --> 00:03:07,626 That my sleep has been difficult. 53 00:03:07,661 --> 00:03:11,465 My doctor in Baltimore was renewing the prescription long-distance, 54 00:03:11,499 --> 00:03:14,735 But now he's decided to stop. 55 00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:19,408 He wanted me to find somebody local, 56 00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:20,910 You're in the neighborhood 57 00:03:20,944 --> 00:03:24,315 And you had an open appointment so... 58 00:03:24,349 --> 00:03:26,384 I see. 59 00:03:26,418 --> 00:03:28,653 How long have you been taking Ambien? 60 00:03:28,688 --> 00:03:32,859 About five years, on... on and off. 61 00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,497 - Nightly? - Well, nightly 62 00:03:36,532 --> 00:03:39,368 For the past year, maybe... I don't know... 63 00:03:39,402 --> 00:03:41,470 14... 14 months. 64 00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,107 One year or 14 months? 65 00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,343 14 months. 66 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,848 - How many milligrams? - 10. 67 00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:55,954 The doctor in Baltimore was your therapist? 68 00:03:55,988 --> 00:03:58,489 - My physician. - Your primary care physician? 69 00:03:58,523 --> 00:04:01,757 Yes, my primary care physician. Yeah. 70 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:04,526 And you're new to New York? 71 00:04:04,561 --> 00:04:06,428 How long have you been here? 72 00:04:06,462 --> 00:04:09,163 Two years... two years and one month 73 00:04:09,198 --> 00:04:11,132 Since you seem to like being precise. 74 00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,868 And precisely three nights ago I ran out of Ambien. 75 00:04:19,406 --> 00:04:21,173 Sorry. 76 00:04:21,208 --> 00:04:24,977 I've... I haven't slept since Tuesday. 77 00:04:25,011 --> 00:04:26,878 It can be difficult to stop abruptly. 78 00:04:26,912 --> 00:04:29,413 Yeah. Believe me, I'm aware of that. 79 00:04:29,448 --> 00:04:31,615 Well, I never would have stopped 80 00:04:31,650 --> 00:04:33,617 If I hadn't run out of pills. 81 00:04:33,651 --> 00:04:38,121 I started to take another half in the middle of the night. 82 00:04:38,155 --> 00:04:42,124 - Half of... - half a pill. 83 00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:44,159 That would be half of 10, 84 00:04:44,193 --> 00:04:47,261 Which is five. 85 00:04:49,064 --> 00:04:50,698 Got it. 86 00:04:50,732 --> 00:04:54,234 So early in the week I noticed the bottle was empty. 87 00:04:54,268 --> 00:04:56,636 I have an appointment with my neurologist 88 00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:58,304 First thing Monday morning, and I said, 89 00:04:58,339 --> 00:05:00,673 "okay well, I'll suffer through it 90 00:05:00,708 --> 00:05:03,209 And then get him to fill the prescription." 91 00:05:03,243 --> 00:05:05,777 But once it became clear I couldn't do that 92 00:05:05,812 --> 00:05:09,680 I called Alan Burdick 93 00:05:09,715 --> 00:05:11,415 And he referred me to you. 94 00:05:11,450 --> 00:05:13,784 - I'm in the neighborhood. - Right. 95 00:05:13,819 --> 00:05:18,322 I have to say though, I didn't expect you to be... 96 00:05:18,356 --> 00:05:22,059 To be so... Young. 97 00:05:23,294 --> 00:05:25,461 So you wake up after a few hours and... 98 00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:28,597 Yeah, I wake up after a few hours 99 00:05:28,632 --> 00:05:31,934 And I can't get back to sleep. So I... I just... 100 00:05:31,968 --> 00:05:36,538 I take another pill when I have another pill to take. 101 00:05:36,572 --> 00:05:38,873 How do you know Alan Burdick? 102 00:05:38,907 --> 00:05:40,841 Oh, we went to college together 103 00:05:40,876 --> 00:05:42,843 At Georgetown. We're... we're friendly, 104 00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:44,711 Maintained contact with each other. 105 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,513 - He's an excellent doctor. - Yes, he is, 106 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,881 And he said the same about you. 107 00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:54,352 Though how he knows that, I... I don't know. 108 00:05:54,387 --> 00:05:58,489 Because you can't have been practicing for... what, 109 00:05:58,523 --> 00:06:01,158 Two, three years at the most? 110 00:06:01,192 --> 00:06:05,061 That's the second time you've mentioned how young you think I am. 111 00:06:06,397 --> 00:06:08,364 Es my age bother you? 112 00:06:08,398 --> 00:06:11,833 No. The truth is, whatever grade you're in, 113 00:06:11,868 --> 00:06:14,469 I'm sure you've learned to write by now. 114 00:06:14,503 --> 00:06:18,905 So if you're able to fill out a prescription, 115 00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:21,408 Then your age doesn't bother me at all. 116 00:06:23,377 --> 00:06:26,780 Look, I should have been more clear with you 117 00:06:26,814 --> 00:06:28,548 When I called yesterday. 118 00:06:28,582 --> 00:06:31,751 I've actually been in treatment for the last 20 years 119 00:06:31,785 --> 00:06:33,385 On and off. And I'm... 120 00:06:33,419 --> 00:06:36,755 I really didn't come today to continue that process. 121 00:06:36,789 --> 00:06:38,723 - I understand that. - Okay. 122 00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:42,526 Though I can't just dispense medication without... 123 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:46,563 Yes, I understand. You've got your job to do. 124 00:06:46,597 --> 00:06:48,798 If you want to ask some questions, just... 125 00:06:48,832 --> 00:06:50,566 Fine, go ahead. 126 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:54,937 Then you can send me on my way. 127 00:06:54,971 --> 00:06:57,172 With whom were you in treatment? 128 00:06:57,206 --> 00:07:01,308 Gina toll from the Washington-Baltimore psychoanalytic institute. 129 00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:02,610 I'm not familiar with her. 130 00:07:02,644 --> 00:07:05,178 Well, she was my teacher at the institute. 131 00:07:05,213 --> 00:07:08,048 She's one of the best analysts around. 132 00:07:08,082 --> 00:07:12,685 She was my supervisor for many years and then she was my analyst. 133 00:07:12,719 --> 00:07:17,189 She saw my ex-wife with me for quite awhile. 134 00:07:17,223 --> 00:07:18,890 Together? 135 00:07:18,925 --> 00:07:20,825 Yes, together. 136 00:07:20,860 --> 00:07:22,560 Sounds pretty all-encompassing. 137 00:07:22,594 --> 00:07:24,028 Yeah. 138 00:07:24,062 --> 00:07:26,229 And you're a practicing psychoanalyst? 139 00:07:26,264 --> 00:07:27,931 Yes. 140 00:07:27,965 --> 00:07:31,433 Okay. Why don't you tell me 141 00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:33,435 Exactly what's been going on with your sleep? 142 00:07:35,604 --> 00:07:37,205 Well, at the beginning 143 00:07:37,239 --> 00:07:41,074 It was just falling asleep, you know. 144 00:07:41,109 --> 00:07:43,076 And then I would take a pill 145 00:07:43,110 --> 00:07:45,712 And I'd be set for six hours or so. 146 00:07:45,746 --> 00:07:47,880 - But not anymore? - No, not anymore. 147 00:07:47,914 --> 00:07:50,616 I... I wake up after two or three hours. 148 00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:53,351 And what's your experience of that waking time? 149 00:07:53,386 --> 00:07:56,621 - Are you anxious? - No. Not particularly, no. 150 00:07:56,655 --> 00:07:59,357 - Worried? - I'm tired. 151 00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:01,325 What do you find yourself thinking about? 152 00:08:01,359 --> 00:08:04,361 I find myself wishing that I had more Ambien. 153 00:08:06,363 --> 00:08:08,764 Listen, I've never slept well. 154 00:08:08,799 --> 00:08:11,233 I've always had a problem falling asleep. 155 00:08:11,267 --> 00:08:13,702 And once you are sleeping, do you sleep deeply? 156 00:08:13,736 --> 00:08:15,970 - Are you restless? - Not really. 157 00:08:16,005 --> 00:08:18,206 Frequent dreams? Nightmares? 158 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,308 They're not uncommon with people's sleep issues. 159 00:08:25,946 --> 00:08:29,048 The past several months I have been waking up 160 00:08:29,082 --> 00:08:32,117 With a recurring dream but... 161 00:08:32,151 --> 00:08:34,252 Look, I'm not interested in discussing that. 162 00:08:34,287 --> 00:08:37,822 I know what the dream is about. I know what I've been suppressing. 163 00:08:37,857 --> 00:08:42,126 I know what my unconscious is trying to communicate with me and... 164 00:08:43,761 --> 00:08:46,162 You're not interested in telling me even in the general... 165 00:08:46,197 --> 00:08:49,098 - No, I'm not. - All right. 166 00:08:51,034 --> 00:08:53,402 Would you consider telling me what it is you feel 167 00:08:53,436 --> 00:08:56,337 The dream has been communicating to you? 168 00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:12,684 I had a patient come in for the first time 169 00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:16,087 At the beginning of the week... Frances. 170 00:09:16,121 --> 00:09:20,157 She's... she's an actress... 171 00:09:20,191 --> 00:09:22,359 A famous actress... 172 00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:26,662 though not quite as famous as she thinks she is. 173 00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:28,497 I probably shouldn't have... 174 00:09:28,532 --> 00:09:32,067 I suppose you can guess who I'm talking about by the first name. 175 00:09:32,101 --> 00:09:34,269 I'll try not to. 176 00:09:34,303 --> 00:09:37,338 I'm more interested in hearing how she relates to the dream. 177 00:09:37,372 --> 00:09:41,475 Okay. Well, her sister is dying of breast cancer... 178 00:09:41,509 --> 00:09:44,577 Her younger sister Patricia. 179 00:09:44,612 --> 00:09:46,546 She didn't tell me right away. 180 00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,781 She had plenty else to say. 181 00:09:48,815 --> 00:09:52,317 She's... well, she's what I kind of expected, you know... 182 00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:54,619 Self-involved, narcissistic, 183 00:09:54,654 --> 00:09:57,488 "did Beckett in London." 184 00:09:57,523 --> 00:09:59,757 But once she got to it... 185 00:10:01,660 --> 00:10:03,060 What? 186 00:10:03,094 --> 00:10:05,628 She talked about the genetic marker 187 00:10:05,663 --> 00:10:08,831 For breast cancer... the brca1 gene. 188 00:10:08,865 --> 00:10:11,800 How her mother had it and then her sister, 189 00:10:11,835 --> 00:10:15,737 That it's inherited. 190 00:10:23,878 --> 00:10:27,680 My father died of Parkinson's two years ago. 191 00:10:29,149 --> 00:10:32,484 This is why you're seeing the neurologist next week. 192 00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:35,987 You're afraid you may have Parkinson's. 193 00:10:37,589 --> 00:10:40,991 My hand has been shaking for three months. 194 00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:46,662 - Have you had other symptoms? - Stiffness, unsteadiness. 195 00:10:46,697 --> 00:10:50,099 I drop things. 196 00:10:50,133 --> 00:10:53,501 - Would you say this fear has... - it's not a fear, doctor. 197 00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:56,237 It's a fact. My hand shakes. 198 00:10:56,271 --> 00:10:58,172 My father had Parkinson's. 199 00:10:58,206 --> 00:11:00,507 That's why I'm seeing the neurologist, 200 00:11:00,541 --> 00:11:03,476 So the neurologist can address it. 201 00:11:03,511 --> 00:11:05,278 This... 202 00:11:05,312 --> 00:11:07,246 This concern about Parkinson's... 203 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,448 Do you think it has something to do with the dream you've been having? 204 00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:14,251 Well, I've been actively ignoring the clear symptoms of the disease, 205 00:11:14,286 --> 00:11:18,088 And my unconscious has been trying to get me to stop ignoring it. 206 00:11:19,724 --> 00:11:22,625 That must have been very difficult to deal with... your father's death. 207 00:11:25,829 --> 00:11:30,032 Was this during your treatment with Gina toll? 208 00:11:30,066 --> 00:11:32,701 - Did you feel... - look please, enough. 209 00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:35,670 I've been over this 210 00:11:35,704 --> 00:11:40,007 About my anger at my father for walking out on us when I was a teenager; 211 00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:42,976 My mother's suicide when I was 17; 212 00:11:43,011 --> 00:11:46,145 My need to save people as a result... 213 00:11:46,180 --> 00:11:48,681 I've been over this again and again 214 00:11:48,715 --> 00:11:51,816 With one of the best analysts on the East coast. 215 00:11:51,851 --> 00:11:55,453 I do understand it all. 216 00:11:55,487 --> 00:11:58,555 There's really nothing that... 217 00:11:58,590 --> 00:12:01,191 Nothing more for you to contribute to that. 218 00:12:01,225 --> 00:12:03,993 I just wanna make sure I understand something. 219 00:12:04,028 --> 00:12:06,328 Sure, fine. 220 00:12:06,363 --> 00:12:09,598 - You said Gina toll was your teacher. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 221 00:12:09,632 --> 00:12:12,934 - And then she was your supervisor? - Yeah. 222 00:12:12,968 --> 00:12:14,869 - And after that, your analyst. - Yes. 223 00:12:14,903 --> 00:12:16,938 And she also saw you and your ex-wife 224 00:12:16,972 --> 00:12:19,373 - As a couple's therapist? - Mm-hmm, correct. 225 00:12:20,575 --> 00:12:23,343 Yeah, I see. 226 00:12:24,445 --> 00:12:26,312 What do you mean, you see? 227 00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,681 - What are you implying? - I'm not implying anything. 228 00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,650 I'm just trying to understand the methods 229 00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:35,553 Of one of the best analysts on the East coast. 230 00:12:36,488 --> 00:12:38,722 Are you fucking kidding me? 231 00:12:38,757 --> 00:12:40,791 What are you, 36 years old? 232 00:12:40,825 --> 00:12:43,326 You've been practicing for what, three or four years at the most? 233 00:12:43,361 --> 00:12:47,397 Who the fuck are you to question my treatment over the past two decades? 234 00:12:49,099 --> 00:12:53,469 You've been resistant to discussion since you came in. 235 00:12:53,503 --> 00:12:57,939 I'm trying to get as full a sense as I can of why that might be. 236 00:13:04,179 --> 00:13:06,646 I'm sorry if I offended you. 237 00:13:09,150 --> 00:13:11,317 You seem distressed. 238 00:13:11,352 --> 00:13:14,720 Of course I'm distressed. I haven't slept all week. 239 00:13:16,723 --> 00:13:19,391 My wife's divorced me. I'm alienated from my kids 240 00:13:19,425 --> 00:13:21,993 Who live with her and this man 241 00:13:22,027 --> 00:13:25,629 That she's gonna marry. And I now realize I've got a disease 242 00:13:25,664 --> 00:13:30,266 Who is going to confine me to a chair... trapped, paralyzed... 243 00:13:30,301 --> 00:13:32,702 In five years or so, 244 00:13:32,736 --> 00:13:35,638 And probably kill me within 10. 245 00:13:35,672 --> 00:13:38,674 I think I have a right to be distressed. 246 00:13:38,708 --> 00:13:41,609 I think I have a right to maybe have sleep problems, don't you think? 247 00:13:41,644 --> 00:13:44,111 Of course you have a right. 248 00:13:46,414 --> 00:13:48,148 Yeah. 249 00:13:48,182 --> 00:13:50,917 Before I fill out the prescription, 250 00:13:50,951 --> 00:13:54,120 I just need to ask some medical questions. 251 00:13:54,154 --> 00:13:56,221 Do you have any other medical issues 252 00:13:56,256 --> 00:13:58,757 Other than the neurological issues you mentioned? 253 00:13:58,791 --> 00:14:00,025 No. 254 00:14:00,059 --> 00:14:02,060 Are you currently taking any medication? 255 00:14:02,094 --> 00:14:04,061 Uh, just... 256 00:14:04,096 --> 00:14:07,464 Lipitor, 20mg a day; 257 00:14:07,499 --> 00:14:11,635 Oh, and baby aspirin, one tablet a day. 258 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:13,770 - 81mg? - Right. 259 00:14:13,804 --> 00:14:16,372 - Anything else? - Look, I want you to know that 260 00:14:16,407 --> 00:14:19,175 My treatment with Gina was... was an effective one. 261 00:14:19,209 --> 00:14:21,877 Like I said, she's a highly capable person 262 00:14:21,911 --> 00:14:26,247 And she's able to keep her roles separate when necessary. 263 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,882 She knew me well. 264 00:14:27,916 --> 00:14:31,818 There was a lot of trust and respect there 265 00:14:31,853 --> 00:14:34,220 And... uh... 266 00:14:34,255 --> 00:14:36,722 yeah. 267 00:14:36,757 --> 00:14:38,991 I understand. 268 00:14:41,327 --> 00:14:44,229 I do apologize if I offended you. 269 00:14:49,101 --> 00:14:52,236 Can I ask what it feels like 270 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:54,304 To be reading your analyst's novel? 271 00:14:54,338 --> 00:14:58,474 I couldn't help noticing your book. 272 00:14:58,509 --> 00:15:00,943 That's her, yes? Gina toll? 273 00:15:00,977 --> 00:15:03,912 Yeah. Yeah. 274 00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:06,147 Well, like I said, 275 00:15:06,182 --> 00:15:08,549 She's... she's a highly capable woman. 276 00:15:08,584 --> 00:15:10,851 She therapizes, she supervises, she writes. 277 00:15:10,886 --> 00:15:13,754 You should see her on a trapeze. 278 00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:17,056 Anyway, I saw the ad in the paper yesterday. 279 00:15:17,091 --> 00:15:20,659 Then walking over here, I was passing the bookshop on court street, 280 00:15:20,694 --> 00:15:24,429 And there it was in the window, so I... 281 00:15:24,464 --> 00:15:26,431 Guess I couldn't resist. 282 00:15:26,465 --> 00:15:29,133 I mean, if I'd thought for one minute about how you might see it, 283 00:15:29,168 --> 00:15:31,268 - I would have asked for a bag. - And how might I see it? 284 00:15:31,303 --> 00:15:33,537 - Here we go. - No, tell me what you imagine. 285 00:15:33,571 --> 00:15:35,171 Do you really need me to tell you? 286 00:15:35,206 --> 00:15:37,140 A patient comes into a new therapist's office 287 00:15:37,174 --> 00:15:39,775 Clutching a book by his old therapist, 288 00:15:39,810 --> 00:15:43,345 A giant picture of her face grinning off the back? 289 00:15:43,379 --> 00:15:44,646 It's... 290 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,748 What? What were you going to say? 291 00:15:49,418 --> 00:15:53,153 Well, it's kind of... embarrassing, really. 292 00:15:53,187 --> 00:15:56,889 It's like a shield, a security blanket 293 00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:59,225 Or, you know, a kind of a get-out-of-jail-free card. 294 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:01,594 - Get-out-of-jail-free card? - Please. 295 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:05,730 God, I wish I did have a bag. Hmm. 296 00:16:06,899 --> 00:16:09,600 Yeah. It's a pretty good photograph. 297 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:14,771 It's airbrushed, 298 00:16:14,806 --> 00:16:16,706 But she looks great. 299 00:16:18,976 --> 00:16:20,609 Great big smile. 300 00:16:20,644 --> 00:16:23,211 Very pleased with herself. 301 00:16:23,246 --> 00:16:26,814 I would be with, uh... with blurbs like these. 302 00:16:26,849 --> 00:16:28,950 You've read the back? 303 00:16:28,984 --> 00:16:31,485 "insightful and sharp. 304 00:16:31,519 --> 00:16:35,488 A masterful spin through the tortured human psyche." 305 00:16:35,523 --> 00:16:37,423 That's Lorrie Moore. 306 00:16:37,458 --> 00:16:42,294 "wise and deeply empathetic"... Amy bloom. 307 00:16:42,328 --> 00:16:44,429 I guess... I guess it's good. 308 00:16:44,463 --> 00:16:47,865 How does it feel, reading those quotes? 309 00:16:50,601 --> 00:16:53,436 That's high praise for a woman whose talent and intellect 310 00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:55,605 You say you respect. And yet you read that... 311 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,240 - I'm happy for her. I am. I am. - Okay. 312 00:16:58,274 --> 00:17:02,343 See, I'm not claiming that it's not... it's not complicated, 313 00:17:02,378 --> 00:17:06,080 There's not some... Jealousy. 314 00:17:06,114 --> 00:17:08,582 Sure, but... of course. 315 00:17:08,616 --> 00:17:11,484 I should... well, I should wait till I read it myself. 316 00:17:11,519 --> 00:17:14,020 But... but I uh... I am pleased for her, yeah. 317 00:17:14,054 --> 00:17:16,322 What are you jealous of? 318 00:17:19,559 --> 00:17:22,327 Well, clearly she's made a new life for herself, 319 00:17:22,361 --> 00:17:25,329 Found a way to escape from... 320 00:17:25,363 --> 00:17:28,432 From patients like me. 321 00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,467 Quite a feat really... phoenix like. 322 00:17:30,501 --> 00:17:33,002 Why are you so convinced Gina wanted to escape from you? 323 00:17:33,036 --> 00:17:37,105 Give me another 10 minutes and you'll understand completely. 324 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,976 You're probably feeling it already. 325 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:45,879 - No. I hadn't been. - Well, you're extremely polite. 326 00:17:47,448 --> 00:17:50,483 Do you feel that way with your patients, like you want to escape? 327 00:17:52,219 --> 00:17:54,953 You know, I told Gina once 328 00:17:54,987 --> 00:17:58,389 That with patients I feel like... 329 00:17:58,424 --> 00:18:02,426 It's like two mice in a glue trap... 330 00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:05,996 Stuck, immobile, 331 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:08,864 Getting nowhere. 332 00:18:08,899 --> 00:18:11,033 She was disgusted to hear that. 333 00:18:11,067 --> 00:18:13,335 Do you still feel that way? 334 00:18:14,837 --> 00:18:16,937 I've been a therapist for... 335 00:18:16,972 --> 00:18:18,839 For 25 years, you know? 336 00:18:18,873 --> 00:18:21,875 - I understand that. - Really, you couldn't possibly, 337 00:18:21,909 --> 00:18:23,510 But you will. 338 00:18:23,544 --> 00:18:25,745 - It becomes... - What? 339 00:18:25,779 --> 00:18:28,614 Oppressive. Oppressive. 340 00:18:29,849 --> 00:18:32,283 You start to see the limitations, 341 00:18:32,318 --> 00:18:34,686 The artifice of it all. 342 00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:37,254 In what ways? 343 00:18:37,289 --> 00:18:39,723 I'm genuinely curious. 344 00:18:40,725 --> 00:18:43,193 Another analyst across from me... 345 00:18:43,227 --> 00:18:45,728 I'd really like to know what your experience has been. 346 00:18:45,762 --> 00:18:48,397 I'd... I... I'd like to know what's coming. 347 00:18:49,465 --> 00:18:53,267 I see this teenager, Jesse. 348 00:18:53,302 --> 00:18:56,236 He's 16, 349 00:18:56,271 --> 00:18:59,773 Adopted, gay, 350 00:19:01,442 --> 00:19:05,744 Aggressive... pushes everybody away. 351 00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:08,680 Anyway, his, um... 352 00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:13,084 His birth mother called him this week 353 00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:15,719 Just out of the blue. 354 00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:18,855 And he hasn't been able to tell anybody... not his mother, 355 00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:21,524 - Not a friend... - but he told you? 356 00:19:21,558 --> 00:19:23,559 Yeah. 357 00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:26,495 He told me. 358 00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:29,798 It paid to listen intently. 359 00:19:31,533 --> 00:19:35,669 There are times in that room where I feel... 360 00:19:35,703 --> 00:19:39,105 I really feel that we connect, 361 00:19:39,140 --> 00:19:42,808 We make contact. 362 00:19:42,843 --> 00:19:44,843 And then he goes back into the world... 363 00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:47,279 The real world, the actual world... 364 00:19:47,313 --> 00:19:49,314 And he just... 365 00:19:49,348 --> 00:19:51,149 He implodes 366 00:19:51,183 --> 00:19:55,319 And the work that we've done together is just... 367 00:19:56,788 --> 00:19:58,221 It's just gone. 368 00:19:59,557 --> 00:20:02,091 I recognize that feeling. 369 00:20:02,126 --> 00:20:04,026 It's incredibly frustrating 370 00:20:04,061 --> 00:20:07,129 - To feel like you're not making progress. - Mm-hmm. 371 00:20:07,163 --> 00:20:12,266 But don't you think even t act of listening has value? 372 00:20:13,435 --> 00:20:16,303 I've been seeing this new patient... 373 00:20:16,337 --> 00:20:20,106 An immigrant from Calcutta. 374 00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:22,274 He wife died about six months ago. 375 00:20:22,309 --> 00:20:24,510 So his son and his daughter-in-law 376 00:20:24,544 --> 00:20:26,311 Have him stuck in the spare room... 377 00:20:26,345 --> 00:20:28,580 No friends, no one to talk to. 378 00:20:28,614 --> 00:20:30,314 So they drag him to see me 379 00:20:30,349 --> 00:20:33,717 To make everything better. 380 00:20:33,752 --> 00:20:35,953 And all he wants from me... 381 00:20:35,987 --> 00:20:38,755 All he wants from me 382 00:20:38,789 --> 00:20:41,057 Is for me to bring his wife back. 383 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,195 He's got the loneliest face I've ever... I've ever seen. 384 00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:52,767 Hmm. Sits across from me looking trapped, 385 00:20:52,801 --> 00:20:56,336 Without an ounce of belief that I can do anything to help him. 386 00:20:56,371 --> 00:21:00,407 And sometimes I just wanna say, "Sunil, you' right. 387 00:21:00,441 --> 00:21:04,643 There's-there's nothing I can do." 388 00:21:08,447 --> 00:21:11,082 You described both of these patients 389 00:21:11,116 --> 00:21:13,884 As not having someone to talk to, confide in... 390 00:21:13,919 --> 00:21:15,986 At least outside your office. 391 00:21:16,021 --> 00:21:18,789 And I'm wondering if you do. 392 00:21:21,492 --> 00:21:23,726 If I... if-if I... 393 00:21:23,761 --> 00:21:25,895 If I do what? 394 00:21:25,929 --> 00:21:29,598 All the significant attachments in your life... 395 00:21:29,632 --> 00:21:32,000 The ones you've mentioned here... 396 00:21:32,034 --> 00:21:36,604 Your father, your wife, Gina... have ended. 397 00:21:36,638 --> 00:21:41,174 You say you're seeing less of your kids. 398 00:21:41,209 --> 00:21:43,476 I mean, do you have someone... a friend, 399 00:21:43,511 --> 00:21:47,146 A companion, another adult... to talk to? 400 00:21:49,449 --> 00:21:51,316 You mentioned you were college friends 401 00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:54,553 With Dr. Burdick who referred you here. 402 00:21:54,587 --> 00:21:57,588 - Do you talk with him? - Do-do I, uh... 403 00:21:57,623 --> 00:21:59,323 No. But we're not really friends. 404 00:21:59,358 --> 00:22:01,458 We're more old acquaintances. 405 00:22:01,493 --> 00:22:05,395 But yes, I do have somebody to talk to. 406 00:22:05,429 --> 00:22:08,631 I've... her name is Wendy. 407 00:22:08,665 --> 00:22:10,032 We've been seeing each other. 408 00:22:10,066 --> 00:22:12,267 And yeah, I talk with her. 409 00:22:12,302 --> 00:22:14,202 We... 410 00:22:14,237 --> 00:22:16,538 We talk. 411 00:22:16,572 --> 00:22:19,674 Is that who you were on the phone with in the waiting room? 412 00:22:19,708 --> 00:22:23,076 - Yes. - You told her you were somewhere else. 413 00:22:23,111 --> 00:22:25,245 What was it, the grocery store? 414 00:22:27,248 --> 00:22:29,315 Well, she's 37. I'm 57. 415 00:22:29,349 --> 00:22:31,450 I-I haven't gotten to the place 416 00:22:31,484 --> 00:22:33,785 Where I feel comfortable telling her 417 00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:35,286 I have Parkinson's. 418 00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:38,422 Well, I can understand your not wanting to tell your girlfriend 419 00:22:38,457 --> 00:22:40,991 About the possibility of having Parkinson's, 420 00:22:41,026 --> 00:22:43,794 But letting her know you have a therapy appointment 421 00:22:43,828 --> 00:22:45,762 Isn't exactly the same thing. 422 00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:47,730 You're not seeing me for Parkinson's. 423 00:22:47,765 --> 00:22:50,266 Well, I mean, it... it's all related, isn't it? 424 00:22:53,103 --> 00:22:55,537 And because? I'm having the dream, Ase, I can't sleep.He dream. 425 00:22:55,571 --> 00:22:57,338 And because I can't sleep, I'm here... 426 00:22:57,373 --> 00:22:59,007 About to be late for a movie, 427 00:22:59,041 --> 00:23:02,443 Waiting for you to write a prescription. 428 00:23:03,344 --> 00:23:05,112 Understood. 429 00:23:09,450 --> 00:23:12,485 - You're seeing a movie? - Yes. 430 00:23:12,519 --> 00:23:14,587 You and Wendy? 431 00:23:14,621 --> 00:23:17,556 Yes, Wendy and me. 432 00:23:17,590 --> 00:23:19,691 I'm gonna prescribe the extended-release tablets. 433 00:23:19,725 --> 00:23:22,294 Some people find them helpful in sleeping through the night. 434 00:23:22,328 --> 00:23:24,362 - Thank you. - Just remember... 435 00:23:24,397 --> 00:23:28,099 You can't take more until six hours have elapsed. 436 00:23:29,234 --> 00:23:31,267 How was your sleep last night? 437 00:23:31,302 --> 00:23:34,470 I woke up at 2:30 438 00:23:34,505 --> 00:23:36,405 And couldn't get back asleep. 439 00:23:36,439 --> 00:23:39,107 - Woke up from the dream? - Mm-hmm. 440 00:23:44,746 --> 00:23:47,715 You used very similar language when you spoke 441 00:23:47,749 --> 00:23:50,584 Both about the possibility of having Parkinson's 442 00:23:50,618 --> 00:23:54,954 As well as your experience of being a therapist. 443 00:23:54,988 --> 00:23:58,757 You talked about Sunil being stuck up in the spare room, 444 00:23:58,791 --> 00:24:03,628 About feeling trapped like mice in a glue trap with your patients. 445 00:24:03,662 --> 00:24:07,164 That same language of escape and entrapment 446 00:24:07,198 --> 00:24:10,967 Came up when you spoke about Gina. 447 00:24:13,904 --> 00:24:18,574 I'm wondering if your dream has similar imagery. 448 00:24:22,144 --> 00:24:23,912 No. 449 00:24:24,913 --> 00:24:27,648 Actually, it doesn't. 450 00:24:34,388 --> 00:24:36,522 Thank you for this. 451 00:24:39,426 --> 00:24:41,727 May I ask you one last thing? 452 00:24:41,761 --> 00:24:43,428 Yes. 453 00:24:43,463 --> 00:24:45,897 You said you had the dream again last night? 454 00:24:45,932 --> 00:24:46,931 Yes. 455 00:24:46,966 --> 00:24:49,199 Here's what confuses me... 456 00:24:49,234 --> 00:24:53,102 If you figured out several days ago what the dream means, 457 00:24:53,137 --> 00:24:55,738 The content has be communicated from your unconscious 458 00:24:55,772 --> 00:24:59,441 To your conscious mind. Why are you still having it? 459 00:25:03,145 --> 00:25:04,946 I've gotta go. 460 00:25:06,315 --> 00:25:08,649 - Enjoy your movie. - Thank you. 461 00:25:08,683 --> 00:25:10,551 If you decide you wanna talk any further, 462 00:25:10,585 --> 00:25:13,019 My door is always open to you. 463 00:25:14,288 --> 00:25:16,389 What did you just say? 464 00:25:37,474 --> 00:25:39,208 Max? 465 00:25:39,242 --> 00:25:41,877 Is everything okay? 466 00:25:41,911 --> 00:25:43,678 Hey, dad. 467 00:25:44,747 --> 00:25:47,181 What... what are you doing here? 468 00:25:47,216 --> 00:25:49,984 I came to live with you. 469 00:25:57,157 --> 00:26:00,625 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com