1 00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:08,422 Yeah well, I... 2 00:00:08,423 --> 00:00:09,961 I'll leave it to you, Wendy. 3 00:00:09,995 --> 00:00:12,281 No. Why don't you just buy the tickets 4 00:00:12,315 --> 00:00:14,598 And I'll be there? 5 00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:18,929 That sounds... 6 00:00:18,969 --> 00:00:20,842 That sounds fine. 7 00:00:24,462 --> 00:00:26,271 That sounds fine too. 8 00:00:26,305 --> 00:00:28,012 It's a bit... 9 00:00:28,046 --> 00:00:29,717 A bit asinine. 10 00:00:30,855 --> 00:00:34,336 No no. No no, Wendy. Go... go ahead. 11 00:00:34,371 --> 00:00:36,544 I love asinine. 12 00:00:39,989 --> 00:00:42,297 Okay. Oh. 13 00:00:42,331 --> 00:00:45,939 Cobble hill. 6:50. 14 00:00:45,973 --> 00:00:49,617 No, let's... let's meet there, okay? 15 00:00:49,651 --> 00:00:51,289 I-I... uh... 16 00:00:51,323 --> 00:00:53,093 I just want to drop some things off 17 00:00:53,128 --> 00:00:54,830 At my place. 18 00:00:54,864 --> 00:00:57,337 I'm stopping by the market right now. 19 00:00:57,371 --> 00:01:01,113 Soy milk. Okay. 20 00:01:01,147 --> 00:01:03,918 - Organic. - Uh... 21 00:01:03,953 --> 00:01:06,289 Okay, I... I've gotta run, Wendy. 22 00:01:06,324 --> 00:01:09,529 Okay, organic. I've got it. Talk to you later. 23 00:01:09,564 --> 00:01:12,937 Sorry, I... I didn't hear you come in. 24 00:01:12,971 --> 00:01:14,942 Hi, I'm Adele Brouse. 25 00:01:14,976 --> 00:01:17,414 - Paul Weston. - Please come inside. 26 00:01:17,449 --> 00:01:19,417 Thank you. 27 00:01:36,929 --> 00:01:39,452 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 28 00:01:49,337 --> 00:01:51,739 Well, 29 00:01:51,774 --> 00:01:54,277 It's, um... 30 00:01:54,312 --> 00:01:57,349 It's very bright in here. 31 00:01:57,383 --> 00:02:01,923 My, uh... my office is dark... 32 00:02:01,957 --> 00:02:05,595 More... Burrowlike. 33 00:02:05,630 --> 00:02:07,265 Should I lower the shades? 34 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,369 No no no no, they're fine. 35 00:02:09,403 --> 00:02:13,542 I should practice casting off my molish ways. 36 00:02:21,155 --> 00:02:24,760 The sun is probably... 37 00:02:24,794 --> 00:02:27,797 It's probably good for me. They... 38 00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:30,968 They say it helps with sleep. 39 00:02:31,836 --> 00:02:34,305 Ahem. 40 00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:36,642 That would be something, wouldn't it? Just... 41 00:02:36,676 --> 00:02:38,444 If that's all it took... 42 00:02:38,479 --> 00:02:40,848 A healthy dose of sunlight, 43 00:02:40,882 --> 00:02:45,054 So I could just go outside, and... 44 00:02:45,088 --> 00:02:47,324 I wouldn't need to be here. 45 00:02:47,359 --> 00:02:48,859 You'd rather not be here. 46 00:02:48,894 --> 00:02:52,832 Very astute, but the truth is, I don't really mind. 47 00:02:52,866 --> 00:02:55,335 Long as I leave with... 48 00:02:55,369 --> 00:02:58,439 - With what I came for. - You said on the phone you're in need 49 00:02:58,474 --> 00:03:01,777 - Of a refill of your Ambien prescription? - Yeah, that's correct. 50 00:03:01,811 --> 00:03:05,549 And I'll take that to go, please. 51 00:03:08,754 --> 00:03:10,522 I think I explained 52 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:13,626 That my sleep has been difficult. 53 00:03:13,661 --> 00:03:17,465 My doctor in Baltimore was renewing the prescription long-distance, 54 00:03:17,499 --> 00:03:20,735 But now he's decided to stop. 55 00:03:20,770 --> 00:03:25,408 He wanted me to find somebody local, 56 00:03:25,443 --> 00:03:26,910 You're in the neighborhood 57 00:03:26,944 --> 00:03:30,315 And you had an open appointment so... 58 00:03:30,349 --> 00:03:32,384 I see. 59 00:03:32,418 --> 00:03:34,653 How long have you been taking Ambien? 60 00:03:34,688 --> 00:03:38,859 About five years, on... on and off. 61 00:03:40,562 --> 00:03:42,497 - Nightly? - Well, nightly 62 00:03:42,532 --> 00:03:45,368 For the past year, maybe... I don't know... 63 00:03:45,402 --> 00:03:47,470 14... 14 months. 64 00:03:48,439 --> 00:03:50,107 One year or 14 months? 65 00:03:50,141 --> 00:03:52,343 14 months. 66 00:03:53,879 --> 00:03:56,848 - How many milligrams? - 10. 67 00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,954 The doctor in Baltimore was your therapist? 68 00:04:01,988 --> 00:04:04,489 - My physician. - Your primary care physician? 69 00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:07,757 Yes, my primary care physician. Yeah. 70 00:04:07,792 --> 00:04:10,526 And you're new to New York? 71 00:04:10,561 --> 00:04:12,428 How long have you been here? 72 00:04:12,462 --> 00:04:15,163 Two years... two years and one month 73 00:04:15,198 --> 00:04:17,132 Since you seem to like being precise. 74 00:04:17,166 --> 00:04:20,868 And precisely three nights ago I ran out of Ambien. 75 00:04:25,406 --> 00:04:27,173 Sorry. 76 00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:30,977 I've... I haven't slept since Tuesday. 77 00:04:31,011 --> 00:04:32,878 It can be difficult to stop abruptly. 78 00:04:32,912 --> 00:04:35,413 Yeah. Believe me, I'm aware of that. 79 00:04:35,448 --> 00:04:37,615 Well, I never would have stopped 80 00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:39,617 If I hadn't run out of pills. 81 00:04:39,651 --> 00:04:44,121 I started to take another half in the middle of the night. 82 00:04:44,155 --> 00:04:48,124 - Half of... - half a pill. 83 00:04:48,158 --> 00:04:50,159 That would be half of 10, 84 00:04:50,193 --> 00:04:53,261 Which is five. 85 00:04:55,064 --> 00:04:56,698 Got it. 86 00:04:56,732 --> 00:05:00,234 So early in the week I noticed the bottle was empty. 87 00:05:00,268 --> 00:05:02,636 I have an appointment with my neurologist 88 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,304 First thing Monday morning, and I said, 89 00:05:04,339 --> 00:05:06,673 "okay well, I'll suffer through it 90 00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:09,209 And then get him to fill the prescription." 91 00:05:09,243 --> 00:05:11,777 But once it became clear I couldn't do that 92 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:15,680 I called Alan Burdick 93 00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,415 And he referred me to you. 94 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:19,784 - I'm in the neighborhood. - Right. 95 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:24,322 I have to say though, I didn't expect you to be... 96 00:05:24,356 --> 00:05:28,059 To be so... Young. 97 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:31,461 So you wake up after a few hours and... 98 00:05:31,496 --> 00:05:34,597 Yeah, I wake up after a few hours 99 00:05:34,632 --> 00:05:37,934 And I can't get back to sleep. So I... I just... 100 00:05:37,968 --> 00:05:42,538 I take another pill when I have another pill to take. 101 00:05:42,572 --> 00:05:44,873 How do you know Alan Burdick? 102 00:05:44,907 --> 00:05:46,841 Oh, we went to college together 103 00:05:46,876 --> 00:05:48,843 At Georgetown. We're... we're friendly, 104 00:05:48,877 --> 00:05:50,711 Maintained contact with each other. 105 00:05:50,745 --> 00:05:52,513 - He's an excellent doctor. - Yes, he is, 106 00:05:52,547 --> 00:05:54,881 And he said the same about you. 107 00:05:56,650 --> 00:06:00,352 Though how he knows that, I... I don't know. 108 00:06:00,387 --> 00:06:04,489 Because you can't have been practicing for... what, 109 00:06:04,523 --> 00:06:07,158 Two, three years at the most? 110 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:11,061 That's the second time you've mentioned how young you think I am. 111 00:06:12,397 --> 00:06:14,364 Es my age bother you? 112 00:06:14,398 --> 00:06:17,833 No. The truth is, whatever grade you're in, 113 00:06:17,868 --> 00:06:20,469 I'm sure you've learned to write by now. 114 00:06:20,503 --> 00:06:24,905 So if you're able to fill out a prescription, 115 00:06:24,940 --> 00:06:27,408 Then your age doesn't bother me at all. 116 00:06:29,377 --> 00:06:32,780 Look, I should have been more clear with you 117 00:06:32,814 --> 00:06:34,548 When I called yesterday. 118 00:06:34,582 --> 00:06:37,751 I've actually been in treatment for the last 20 years 119 00:06:37,785 --> 00:06:39,385 On and off. And I'm... 120 00:06:39,419 --> 00:06:42,755 I really didn't come today to continue that process. 121 00:06:42,789 --> 00:06:44,723 - I understand that. - Okay. 122 00:06:44,757 --> 00:06:48,526 Though I can't just dispense medication without... 123 00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:52,563 Yes, I understand. You've got your job to do. 124 00:06:52,597 --> 00:06:54,798 If you want to ask some questions, just... 125 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:56,566 Fine, go ahead. 126 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:00,937 Then you can send me on my way. 127 00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:03,172 With whom were you in treatment? 128 00:07:03,206 --> 00:07:07,308 Gina toll from the Washington-Baltimore psychoanalytic institute. 129 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,610 I'm not familiar with her. 130 00:07:08,644 --> 00:07:11,178 Well, she was my teacher at the institute. 131 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:14,048 She's one of the best analysts around. 132 00:07:14,082 --> 00:07:18,685 She was my supervisor for many years and then she was my analyst. 133 00:07:18,719 --> 00:07:23,189 She saw my ex-wife with me for quite awhile. 134 00:07:23,223 --> 00:07:24,890 Together? 135 00:07:24,925 --> 00:07:26,825 Yes, together. 136 00:07:26,860 --> 00:07:28,560 Sounds pretty all-encompassing. 137 00:07:28,594 --> 00:07:30,028 Yeah. 138 00:07:30,062 --> 00:07:32,229 And you're a practicing psychoanalyst? 139 00:07:32,264 --> 00:07:33,931 Yes. 140 00:07:33,965 --> 00:07:37,433 Okay. Why don't you tell me 141 00:07:37,468 --> 00:07:39,435 Exactly what's been going on with your sleep? 142 00:07:41,604 --> 00:07:43,205 Well, at the beginning 143 00:07:43,239 --> 00:07:47,074 It was just falling asleep, you know. 144 00:07:47,109 --> 00:07:49,076 And then I would take a pill 145 00:07:49,110 --> 00:07:51,712 And I'd be set for six hours or so. 146 00:07:51,746 --> 00:07:53,880 - But not anymore? - No, not anymore. 147 00:07:53,914 --> 00:07:56,616 I... I wake up after two or three hours. 148 00:07:56,650 --> 00:07:59,351 And what's your experience of that waking time? 149 00:07:59,386 --> 00:08:02,621 - Are you anxious? - No. Not particularly, no. 150 00:08:02,655 --> 00:08:05,357 - Worried? - I'm tired. 151 00:08:05,391 --> 00:08:07,325 What do you find yourself thinking about? 152 00:08:07,359 --> 00:08:10,361 I find myself wishing that I had more Ambien. 153 00:08:12,363 --> 00:08:14,764 Listen, I've never slept well. 154 00:08:14,799 --> 00:08:17,233 I've always had a problem falling asleep. 155 00:08:17,267 --> 00:08:19,702 And once you are sleeping, do you sleep deeply? 156 00:08:19,736 --> 00:08:21,970 - Are you restless? - Not really. 157 00:08:22,005 --> 00:08:24,206 Frequent dreams? Nightmares? 158 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,308 They're not uncommon with people's sleep issues. 159 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:35,048 The past several months I have been waking up 160 00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:38,117 With a recurring dream but... 161 00:08:38,151 --> 00:08:40,252 Look, I'm not interested in discussing that. 162 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:43,822 I know what the dream is about. I know what I've been suppressing. 163 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:48,126 I know what my unconscious is trying to communicate with me and... 164 00:08:49,761 --> 00:08:52,162 You're not interested in telling me even in the general... 165 00:08:52,197 --> 00:08:55,098 - No, I'm not. - All right. 166 00:08:57,034 --> 00:08:59,402 Would you consider telling me what it is you feel 167 00:08:59,436 --> 00:09:02,337 The dream has been communicating to you? 168 00:09:15,149 --> 00:09:18,684 I had a patient come in for the first time 169 00:09:18,719 --> 00:09:22,087 At the beginning of the week... Frances. 170 00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:26,157 She's... she's an actress... 171 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:28,359 A famous actress... 172 00:09:28,393 --> 00:09:32,662 though not quite as famous as she thinks she is. 173 00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,497 I probably shouldn't have... 174 00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:38,067 I suppose you can guess who I'm talking about by the first name. 175 00:09:38,101 --> 00:09:40,269 I'll try not to. 176 00:09:40,303 --> 00:09:43,338 I'm more interested in hearing how she relates to the dream. 177 00:09:43,372 --> 00:09:47,475 Okay. Well, her sister is dying of breast cancer... 178 00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:50,577 Her younger sister Patricia. 179 00:09:50,612 --> 00:09:52,546 She didn't tell me right away. 180 00:09:52,580 --> 00:09:54,781 She had plenty else to say. 181 00:09:54,815 --> 00:09:58,317 She's... well, she's what I kind of expected, you know... 182 00:09:58,352 --> 00:10:00,619 Self-involved, narcissistic, 183 00:10:00,654 --> 00:10:03,488 "did Beckett in London." 184 00:10:03,523 --> 00:10:05,757 But once she got to it... 185 00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:09,060 What? 186 00:10:09,094 --> 00:10:11,628 She talked about the genetic marker 187 00:10:11,663 --> 00:10:14,831 For breast cancer... the brca1 gene. 188 00:10:14,865 --> 00:10:17,800 How her mother had it and then her sister, 189 00:10:17,835 --> 00:10:21,737 That it's inherited. 190 00:10:29,878 --> 00:10:33,680 My father died of Parkinson's two years ago. 191 00:10:35,149 --> 00:10:38,484 This is why you're seeing the neurologist next week. 192 00:10:38,519 --> 00:10:41,987 You're afraid you may have Parkinson's. 193 00:10:43,589 --> 00:10:46,991 My hand has been shaking for three months. 194 00:10:48,660 --> 00:10:52,662 - Have you had other symptoms? - Stiffness, unsteadiness. 195 00:10:52,697 --> 00:10:56,099 I drop things. 196 00:10:56,133 --> 00:10:59,501 - Would you say this fear has... - it's not a fear, doctor. 197 00:10:59,536 --> 00:11:02,237 It's a fact. My hand shakes. 198 00:11:02,271 --> 00:11:04,172 My father had Parkinson's. 199 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,507 That's why I'm seeing the neurologist, 200 00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:09,476 So the neurologist can address it. 201 00:11:09,511 --> 00:11:11,278 This... 202 00:11:11,312 --> 00:11:13,246 This concern about Parkinson's... 203 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,448 Do you think it has something to do with the dream you've been having? 204 00:11:16,483 --> 00:11:20,251 Well, I've been actively ignoring the clear symptoms of the disease, 205 00:11:20,286 --> 00:11:24,088 And my unconscious has been trying to get me to stop ignoring it. 206 00:11:25,724 --> 00:11:28,625 That must have been very difficult to deal with... your father's death. 207 00:11:31,829 --> 00:11:36,032 Was this during your treatment with Gina toll? 208 00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:38,701 - Did you feel... - look please, enough. 209 00:11:38,735 --> 00:11:41,670 I've been over this 210 00:11:41,704 --> 00:11:46,007 About my anger at my father for walking out on us when I was a teenager; 211 00:11:46,041 --> 00:11:48,976 My mother's suicide when I was 17; 212 00:11:49,011 --> 00:11:52,145 My need to save people as a result... 213 00:11:52,180 --> 00:11:54,681 I've been over this again and again 214 00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,816 With one of the best analysts on the East coast. 215 00:11:57,851 --> 00:12:01,453 I do understand it all. 216 00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:04,555 There's really nothing that... 217 00:12:04,590 --> 00:12:07,191 Nothing more for you to contribute to that. 218 00:12:07,225 --> 00:12:09,993 I just wanna make sure I understand something. 219 00:12:10,028 --> 00:12:12,328 Sure, fine. 220 00:12:12,363 --> 00:12:15,598 - You said Gina toll was your teacher. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 221 00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:18,934 - And then she was your supervisor? - Yeah. 222 00:12:18,968 --> 00:12:20,869 - And after that, your analyst. - Yes. 223 00:12:20,903 --> 00:12:22,938 And she also saw you and your ex-wife 224 00:12:22,972 --> 00:12:25,373 - As a couple's therapist? - Mm-hmm, correct. 225 00:12:26,575 --> 00:12:29,343 Yeah, I see. 226 00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:32,312 What do you mean, you see? 227 00:12:32,346 --> 00:12:35,681 - What are you implying? - I'm not implying anything. 228 00:12:35,716 --> 00:12:37,650 I'm just trying to understand the methods 229 00:12:37,684 --> 00:12:41,553 Of one of the best analysts on the East coast. 230 00:12:42,488 --> 00:12:44,722 Are you fucking kidding me? 231 00:12:44,757 --> 00:12:46,791 What are you, 36 years old? 232 00:12:46,825 --> 00:12:49,326 You've been practicing for what, three or four years at the most? 233 00:12:49,361 --> 00:12:53,397 Who the fuck are you to question my treatment over the past two decades? 234 00:12:55,099 --> 00:12:59,469 You've been resistant to discussion since you came in. 235 00:12:59,503 --> 00:13:03,939 I'm trying to get as full a sense as I can of why that might be. 236 00:13:10,179 --> 00:13:12,646 I'm sorry if I offended you. 237 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:17,317 You seem distressed. 238 00:13:17,352 --> 00:13:20,720 Of course I'm distressed. I haven't slept all week. 239 00:13:22,723 --> 00:13:25,391 My wife's divorced me. I'm alienated from my kids 240 00:13:25,425 --> 00:13:27,993 Who live with her and this man 241 00:13:28,027 --> 00:13:31,629 That she's gonna marry. And I now realize I've got a disease 242 00:13:31,664 --> 00:13:36,266 Who is going to confine me to a chair... trapped, paralyzed... 243 00:13:36,301 --> 00:13:38,702 In five years or so, 244 00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:41,638 And probably kill me within 10. 245 00:13:41,672 --> 00:13:44,674 I think I have a right to be distressed. 246 00:13:44,708 --> 00:13:47,609 I think I have a right to maybe have sleep problems, don't you think? 247 00:13:47,644 --> 00:13:50,111 Of course you have a right. 248 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,148 Yeah. 249 00:13:54,182 --> 00:13:56,917 Before I fill out the prescription, 250 00:13:56,951 --> 00:14:00,120 I just need to ask some medical questions. 251 00:14:00,154 --> 00:14:02,221 Do you have any other medical issues 252 00:14:02,256 --> 00:14:04,757 Other than the neurological issues you mentioned? 253 00:14:04,791 --> 00:14:06,025 No. 254 00:14:06,059 --> 00:14:08,060 Are you currently taking any medication? 255 00:14:08,094 --> 00:14:10,061 Uh, just... 256 00:14:10,096 --> 00:14:13,464 Lipitor, 20mg a day; 257 00:14:13,499 --> 00:14:17,635 Oh, and baby aspirin, one tablet a day. 258 00:14:17,669 --> 00:14:19,770 - 81mg? - Right. 259 00:14:19,804 --> 00:14:22,372 - Anything else? - Look, I want you to know that 260 00:14:22,407 --> 00:14:25,175 My treatment with Gina was... was an effective one. 261 00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:27,877 Like I said, she's a highly capable person 262 00:14:27,911 --> 00:14:32,247 And she's able to keep her roles separate when necessary. 263 00:14:32,282 --> 00:14:33,882 She knew me well. 264 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:37,818 There was a lot of trust and respect there 265 00:14:37,853 --> 00:14:40,220 And... uh... 266 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:42,722 yeah. 267 00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:44,991 I understand. 268 00:14:47,327 --> 00:14:50,229 I do apologize if I offended you. 269 00:14:55,101 --> 00:14:58,236 Can I ask what it feels like 270 00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:00,304 To be reading your analyst's novel? 271 00:15:00,338 --> 00:15:04,474 I couldn't help noticing your book. 272 00:15:04,509 --> 00:15:06,943 That's her, yes? Gina toll? 273 00:15:06,977 --> 00:15:09,912 Yeah. Yeah. 274 00:15:09,946 --> 00:15:12,147 Well, like I said, 275 00:15:12,182 --> 00:15:14,549 She's... she's a highly capable woman. 276 00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:16,851 She therapizes, she supervises, she writes. 277 00:15:16,886 --> 00:15:19,754 You should see her on a trapeze. 278 00:15:19,788 --> 00:15:23,056 Anyway, I saw the ad in the paper yesterday. 279 00:15:23,091 --> 00:15:26,659 Then walking over here, I was passing the bookshop on court street, 280 00:15:26,694 --> 00:15:30,429 And there it was in the window, so I... 281 00:15:30,464 --> 00:15:32,431 Guess I couldn't resist. 282 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,133 I mean, if I'd thought for one minute about how you might see it, 283 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,268 - I would have asked for a bag. - And how might I see it? 284 00:15:37,303 --> 00:15:39,537 - Here we go. - No, tell me what you imagine. 285 00:15:39,571 --> 00:15:41,171 Do you really need me to tell you? 286 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:43,140 A patient comes into a new therapist's office 287 00:15:43,174 --> 00:15:45,775 Clutching a book by his old therapist, 288 00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:49,345 A giant picture of her face grinning off the back? 289 00:15:49,379 --> 00:15:50,646 It's... 290 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,748 What? What were you going to say? 291 00:15:55,418 --> 00:15:59,153 Well, it's kind of... embarrassing, really. 292 00:15:59,187 --> 00:16:02,889 It's like a shield, a security blanket 293 00:16:02,924 --> 00:16:05,225 Or, you know, a kind of a get-out-of-jail-free card. 294 00:16:05,259 --> 00:16:07,594 - Get-out-of-jail-free card? - Please. 295 00:16:07,628 --> 00:16:11,730 God, I wish I did have a bag. Hmm. 296 00:16:12,899 --> 00:16:15,600 Yeah. It's a pretty good photograph. 297 00:16:18,204 --> 00:16:20,771 It's airbrushed, 298 00:16:20,806 --> 00:16:22,706 But she looks great. 299 00:16:24,976 --> 00:16:26,609 Great big smile. 300 00:16:26,644 --> 00:16:29,211 Very pleased with herself. 301 00:16:29,246 --> 00:16:32,814 I would be with, uh... with blurbs like these. 302 00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,950 You've read the back? 303 00:16:34,984 --> 00:16:37,485 "insightful and sharp. 304 00:16:37,519 --> 00:16:41,488 A masterful spin through the tortured human psyche." 305 00:16:41,523 --> 00:16:43,423 That's Lorrie Moore. 306 00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:48,294 "wise and deeply empathetic"... Amy bloom. 307 00:16:48,328 --> 00:16:50,429 I guess... I guess it's good. 308 00:16:50,463 --> 00:16:53,865 How does it feel, reading those quotes? 309 00:16:56,601 --> 00:16:59,436 That's high praise for a woman whose talent and intellect 310 00:16:59,471 --> 00:17:01,605 You say you respect. And yet you read that... 311 00:17:01,639 --> 00:17:04,240 - I'm happy for her. I am. I am. - Okay. 312 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:08,343 See, I'm not claiming that it's not... it's not complicated, 313 00:17:08,378 --> 00:17:12,080 There's not some... Jealousy. 314 00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,582 Sure, but... of course. 315 00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,484 I should... well, I should wait till I read it myself. 316 00:17:17,519 --> 00:17:20,020 But... but I uh... I am pleased for her, yeah. 317 00:17:20,054 --> 00:17:22,322 What are you jealous of? 318 00:17:25,559 --> 00:17:28,327 Well, clearly she's made a new life for herself, 319 00:17:28,361 --> 00:17:31,329 Found a way to escape from... 320 00:17:31,363 --> 00:17:34,432 From patients like me. 321 00:17:34,466 --> 00:17:36,467 Quite a feat really... phoenix like. 322 00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:39,002 Why are you so convinced Gina wanted to escape from you? 323 00:17:39,036 --> 00:17:43,105 Give me another 10 minutes and you'll understand completely. 324 00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:47,976 You're probably feeling it already. 325 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:51,879 - No. I hadn't been. - Well, you're extremely polite. 326 00:17:53,448 --> 00:17:56,483 Do you feel that way with your patients, like you want to escape? 327 00:17:58,219 --> 00:18:00,953 You know, I told Gina once 328 00:18:00,987 --> 00:18:04,389 That with patients I feel like... 329 00:18:04,424 --> 00:18:08,426 It's like two mice in a glue trap... 330 00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:11,996 Stuck, immobile, 331 00:18:12,030 --> 00:18:14,864 Getting nowhere. 332 00:18:14,899 --> 00:18:17,033 She was disgusted to hear that. 333 00:18:17,067 --> 00:18:19,335 Do you still feel that way? 334 00:18:20,837 --> 00:18:22,937 I've been a therapist for... 335 00:18:22,972 --> 00:18:24,839 For 25 years, you know? 336 00:18:24,873 --> 00:18:27,875 - I understand that. - Really, you couldn't possibly, 337 00:18:27,909 --> 00:18:29,510 But you will. 338 00:18:29,544 --> 00:18:31,745 - It becomes... - What? 339 00:18:31,779 --> 00:18:34,614 Oppressive. Oppressive. 340 00:18:35,849 --> 00:18:38,283 You start to see the limitations, 341 00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,686 The artifice of it all. 342 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,254 In what ways? 343 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,723 I'm genuinely curious. 344 00:18:46,725 --> 00:18:49,193 Another analyst across from me... 345 00:18:49,227 --> 00:18:51,728 I'd really like to know what your experience has been. 346 00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,397 I'd... I... I'd like to know what's coming. 347 00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:59,267 I see this teenager, Jesse. 348 00:18:59,302 --> 00:19:02,236 He's 16, 349 00:19:02,271 --> 00:19:05,773 Adopted, gay, 350 00:19:07,442 --> 00:19:11,744 Aggressive... pushes everybody away. 351 00:19:11,779 --> 00:19:14,680 Anyway, his, um... 352 00:19:14,714 --> 00:19:19,084 His birth mother called him this week 353 00:19:19,118 --> 00:19:21,719 Just out of the blue. 354 00:19:21,754 --> 00:19:24,855 And he hasn't been able to tell anybody... not his mother, 355 00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:27,524 - Not a friend... - but he told you? 356 00:19:27,558 --> 00:19:29,559 Yeah. 357 00:19:30,494 --> 00:19:32,495 He told me. 358 00:19:32,529 --> 00:19:35,798 It paid to listen intently. 359 00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:41,669 There are times in that room where I feel... 360 00:19:41,703 --> 00:19:45,105 I really feel that we connect, 361 00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,808 We make contact. 362 00:19:48,843 --> 00:19:50,843 And then he goes back into the world... 363 00:19:50,878 --> 00:19:53,279 The real world, the actual world... 364 00:19:53,313 --> 00:19:55,314 And he just... 365 00:19:55,348 --> 00:19:57,149 He implodes 366 00:19:57,183 --> 00:20:01,319 And the work that we've done together is just... 367 00:20:02,788 --> 00:20:04,221 It's just gone. 368 00:20:05,557 --> 00:20:08,091 I recognize that feeling. 369 00:20:08,126 --> 00:20:10,026 It's incredibly frustrating 370 00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:13,129 - To feel like you're not making progress. - Mm-hmm. 371 00:20:13,163 --> 00:20:18,266 But don't you think even t act of listening has value? 372 00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:22,303 I've been seeing this new patient... 373 00:20:22,337 --> 00:20:26,106 An immigrant from Calcutta. 374 00:20:26,140 --> 00:20:28,274 He wife died about six months ago. 375 00:20:28,309 --> 00:20:30,510 So his son and his daughter-in-law 376 00:20:30,544 --> 00:20:32,311 Have him stuck in the spare room... 377 00:20:32,345 --> 00:20:34,580 No friends, no one to talk to. 378 00:20:34,614 --> 00:20:36,314 So they drag him to see me 379 00:20:36,349 --> 00:20:39,717 To make everything better. 380 00:20:39,752 --> 00:20:41,953 And all he wants from me... 381 00:20:41,987 --> 00:20:44,755 All he wants from me 382 00:20:44,789 --> 00:20:47,057 Is for me to bring his wife back. 383 00:20:49,493 --> 00:20:53,195 He's got the loneliest face I've ever... I've ever seen. 384 00:20:55,031 --> 00:20:58,767 Hmm. Sits across from me looking trapped, 385 00:20:58,801 --> 00:21:02,336 Without an ounce of belief that I can do anything to help him. 386 00:21:02,371 --> 00:21:06,407 And sometimes I just wanna say, "Sunil, you' right. 387 00:21:06,441 --> 00:21:10,643 There's-there's nothing I can do." 388 00:21:14,447 --> 00:21:17,082 You described both of these patients 389 00:21:17,116 --> 00:21:19,884 As not having someone to talk to, confide in... 390 00:21:19,919 --> 00:21:21,986 At least outside your office. 391 00:21:22,021 --> 00:21:24,789 And I'm wondering if you do. 392 00:21:27,492 --> 00:21:29,726 If I... if-if I... 393 00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:31,895 If I do what? 394 00:21:31,929 --> 00:21:35,598 All the significant attachments in your life... 395 00:21:35,632 --> 00:21:38,000 The ones you've mentioned here... 396 00:21:38,034 --> 00:21:42,604 Your father, your wife, Gina... have ended. 397 00:21:42,638 --> 00:21:47,174 You say you're seeing less of your kids. 398 00:21:47,209 --> 00:21:49,476 I mean, do you have someone... a friend, 399 00:21:49,511 --> 00:21:53,146 A companion, another adult... to talk to? 400 00:21:55,449 --> 00:21:57,316 You mentioned you were college friends 401 00:21:57,351 --> 00:22:00,553 With Dr. Burdick who referred you here. 402 00:22:00,587 --> 00:22:03,588 - Do you talk with him? - Do-do I, uh... 403 00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:05,323 No. But we're not really friends. 404 00:22:05,358 --> 00:22:07,458 We're more old acquaintances. 405 00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:11,395 But yes, I do have somebody to talk to. 406 00:22:11,429 --> 00:22:14,631 I've... her name is Wendy. 407 00:22:14,665 --> 00:22:16,032 We've been seeing each other. 408 00:22:16,066 --> 00:22:18,267 And yeah, I talk with her. 409 00:22:18,302 --> 00:22:20,202 We... 410 00:22:20,237 --> 00:22:22,538 We talk. 411 00:22:22,572 --> 00:22:25,674 Is that who you were on the phone with in the waiting room? 412 00:22:25,708 --> 00:22:29,076 - Yes. - You told her you were somewhere else. 413 00:22:29,111 --> 00:22:31,245 What was it, the grocery store? 414 00:22:33,248 --> 00:22:35,315 Well, she's 37. I'm 57. 415 00:22:35,349 --> 00:22:37,450 I-I haven't gotten to the place 416 00:22:37,484 --> 00:22:39,785 Where I feel comfortable telling her 417 00:22:39,820 --> 00:22:41,286 I have Parkinson's. 418 00:22:41,321 --> 00:22:44,422 Well, I can understand your not wanting to tell your girlfriend 419 00:22:44,457 --> 00:22:46,991 About the possibility of having Parkinson's, 420 00:22:47,026 --> 00:22:49,794 But letting her know you have a therapy appointment 421 00:22:49,828 --> 00:22:51,762 Isn't exactly the same thing. 422 00:22:51,797 --> 00:22:53,730 You're not seeing me for Parkinson's. 423 00:22:53,765 --> 00:22:56,266 Well, I mean, it... it's all related, isn't it? 424 00:22:59,103 --> 00:23:01,537 And because? I'm having the dream, Ase, I can't sleep.He dream. 425 00:23:01,571 --> 00:23:03,338 And because I can't sleep, I'm here... 426 00:23:03,373 --> 00:23:05,007 About to be late for a movie, 427 00:23:05,041 --> 00:23:08,443 Waiting for you to write a prescription. 428 00:23:09,344 --> 00:23:11,112 Understood. 429 00:23:15,450 --> 00:23:18,485 - You're seeing a movie? - Yes. 430 00:23:18,519 --> 00:23:20,587 You and Wendy? 431 00:23:20,621 --> 00:23:23,556 Yes, Wendy and me. 432 00:23:23,590 --> 00:23:25,691 I'm gonna prescribe the extended-release tablets. 433 00:23:25,725 --> 00:23:28,294 Some people find them helpful in sleeping through the night. 434 00:23:28,328 --> 00:23:30,362 - Thank you. - Just remember... 435 00:23:30,397 --> 00:23:34,099 You can't take more until six hours have elapsed. 436 00:23:35,234 --> 00:23:37,267 How was your sleep last night? 437 00:23:37,302 --> 00:23:40,470 I woke up at 2:30 438 00:23:40,505 --> 00:23:42,405 And couldn't get back asleep. 439 00:23:42,439 --> 00:23:45,107 - Woke up from the dream? - Mm-hmm. 440 00:23:50,746 --> 00:23:53,715 You used very similar language when you spoke 441 00:23:53,749 --> 00:23:56,584 Both about the possibility of having Parkinson's 442 00:23:56,618 --> 00:24:00,954 As well as your experience of being a therapist. 443 00:24:00,988 --> 00:24:04,757 You talked about Sunil being stuck up in the spare room, 444 00:24:04,791 --> 00:24:09,628 About feeling trapped like mice in a glue trap with your patients. 445 00:24:09,662 --> 00:24:13,164 That same language of escape and entrapment 446 00:24:13,198 --> 00:24:16,967 Came up when you spoke about Gina. 447 00:24:19,904 --> 00:24:24,574 I'm wondering if your dream has similar imagery. 448 00:24:28,144 --> 00:24:29,912 No. 449 00:24:30,913 --> 00:24:33,648 Actually, it doesn't. 450 00:24:40,388 --> 00:24:42,522 Thank you for this. 451 00:24:45,426 --> 00:24:47,727 May I ask you one last thing? 452 00:24:47,761 --> 00:24:49,428 Yes. 453 00:24:49,463 --> 00:24:51,897 You said you had the dream again last night? 454 00:24:51,932 --> 00:24:52,931 Yes. 455 00:24:52,966 --> 00:24:55,199 Here's what confuses me... 456 00:24:55,234 --> 00:24:59,102 If you figured out several days ago what the dream means, 457 00:24:59,137 --> 00:25:01,738 The content has be communicated from your unconscious 458 00:25:01,772 --> 00:25:05,441 To your conscious mind. Why are you still having it? 459 00:25:09,145 --> 00:25:10,946 I've gotta go. 460 00:25:12,315 --> 00:25:14,649 - Enjoy your movie. - Thank you. 461 00:25:14,683 --> 00:25:16,551 If you decide you wanna talk any further, 462 00:25:16,585 --> 00:25:19,019 My door is always open to you. 463 00:25:20,288 --> 00:25:22,389 What did you just say? 464 00:25:43,474 --> 00:25:45,208 Max? 465 00:25:45,242 --> 00:25:47,877 Is everything okay? 466 00:25:47,911 --> 00:25:49,678 Hey, dad. 467 00:25:50,747 --> 00:25:53,181 What... what are you doing here? 468 00:25:53,216 --> 00:25:55,984 I came to live with you. 469 00:26:03,157 --> 00:26:06,625 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com