1 00:00:01,233 --> 00:00:03,447 And so, due to one architectural oversight, 2 00:00:03,448 --> 00:00:05,949 the Toledo Bridge Disaster of 1906 3 00:00:05,965 --> 00:00:08,469 claimed the lives of 75 people. 4 00:00:08,685 --> 00:00:11,888 Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll, 5 00:00:11,889 --> 00:00:14,326 but happy Halloween, ya crazies! 6 00:00:15,795 --> 00:00:17,428 Hey, Professor Brosby, 7 00:00:17,429 --> 00:00:19,264 you gonna come get beers with us later? 8 00:00:19,265 --> 00:00:20,533 Nah, I got a thing. 9 00:00:20,534 --> 00:00:22,734 But you kids have fun trick or treating. 10 00:00:22,735 --> 00:00:23,902 This is a treat. 11 00:00:23,903 --> 00:00:26,305 You're the coolest, Professor Mosby. 12 00:00:26,306 --> 00:00:27,506 Well, hot dog. 13 00:00:27,507 --> 00:00:29,474 Did it hurt? 14 00:00:29,475 --> 00:00:30,475 What? 15 00:00:30,476 --> 00:00:31,909 Getting that kid's nose 16 00:00:31,910 --> 00:00:34,211 surgically removed from your ass. 17 00:00:34,212 --> 00:00:38,148 It's not her nose that's in my ass, Lily, it's her heart. 18 00:00:38,149 --> 00:00:40,349 My class loves me; I-I'm really making 19 00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:42,284 an impression on those guys. 20 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:45,755 I'd like to make impression on those guys. 21 00:00:45,756 --> 00:00:48,492 Man, I love the office Halloween party. 22 00:00:48,493 --> 00:00:51,696 It is so much sluttier than the office Christmas party. 23 00:00:51,697 --> 00:00:53,232 Though not as freaky 24 00:00:53,233 --> 00:00:55,635 as the office President's Day Rave. 25 00:00:55,636 --> 00:00:58,739 Or the office Tu B'Shvat Pajama Jammy-Jam. 26 00:00:59,508 --> 00:01:01,174 Hey, guys. Hey, Boss. 27 00:01:01,175 --> 00:01:02,811 Hey, Randy. Uh, you want a beer? 28 00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,545 Oh, no, thank you. I brew my own. 29 00:01:04,546 --> 00:01:05,546 At the risk of bragging, 30 00:01:05,547 --> 00:01:08,083 my Hazelnut Pilsner won fourth prize 31 00:01:08,084 --> 00:01:09,551 at the Weehawken Retirement Home 32 00:01:09,552 --> 00:01:12,087 Clam Bake and Wheelchair Maintenance Picnic. 33 00:01:12,088 --> 00:01:15,023 I wouldn't consider any part of that bragging. 34 00:01:15,024 --> 00:01:17,558 Hey, it just occurred to me, is your friend... 35 00:01:17,559 --> 00:01:19,293 what's her name?... Garbin, Flabin... 36 00:01:19,294 --> 00:01:20,828 Robin? Robin. That's it, yeah. 37 00:01:20,829 --> 00:01:23,130 Is she gonna be here? Oh, not that I really care. 38 00:01:23,131 --> 00:01:24,765 Robin has another party to go to. 39 00:01:24,766 --> 00:01:26,266 No! Damn it! 40 00:01:26,267 --> 00:01:27,969 I'm leaving. 41 00:01:27,970 --> 00:01:29,137 But she might stop by later. 44 00:01:40,116 --> 00:01:43,184 Oh, we were big fans of New York's annual Halloween parade. 45 00:01:43,185 --> 00:01:44,852 I don't mean the one that takes place 46 00:01:44,853 --> 00:01:46,420 Halloween night in the Village. 47 00:01:46,421 --> 00:01:48,789 I mean the one that takes place the morning of November 1st... 48 00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:52,293 the Annual Post Halloween Walk of Shame Parade. 49 00:01:52,294 --> 00:01:54,061 Look at them heading home 50 00:01:54,062 --> 00:01:56,630 after their dirty, filthy hookups. 51 00:01:56,631 --> 00:01:59,966 Looks like that bee got busy. 52 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:04,237 Looks like that French maid didn't turn down somebody's bed. 53 00:02:04,238 --> 00:02:07,708 Oh, looks like Pocahontas has a couple of wounded knees. 54 00:02:07,709 --> 00:02:09,543 Come on, Marshall. That's a line. 55 00:02:09,544 --> 00:02:11,545 No, it's because of the... We get it. 56 00:02:11,546 --> 00:02:13,414 Does it get any better than this? 57 00:02:13,415 --> 00:02:15,550 Uh, yes. 58 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:17,419 Yes, it does. 59 00:02:20,055 --> 00:02:21,856 Crap. 60 00:02:22,166 --> 00:02:27,266 How I Met Your Mother 6x08 - Natural History 61 00:02:37,504 --> 00:02:41,474 There she is... Florence Night-In-Bed-With-A-Stranger. 62 00:02:41,869 --> 00:02:43,904 So, who's the lucky patient? 63 00:02:43,905 --> 00:02:45,239 I don't want to talk about it. 64 00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:46,840 Please tell me you're not hooking up 65 00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:48,276 with one of your co-anchors again. 66 00:02:48,277 --> 00:02:50,218 My co-anchor's a woman. Please tell me you are hooking up 67 00:02:50,219 --> 00:02:51,553 with one of your co-anchors again. 68 00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:53,065 Robin had always believed 69 00:02:53,157 --> 00:02:53,988 that the key to success 70 00:02:53,989 --> 00:02:55,723 was intelligence, hard work and professionalism. 71 00:02:56,485 --> 00:02:58,686 Her new co-anchor Becky had a different philosophy. 72 00:02:58,687 --> 00:03:01,822 Boats! Boats! Boats! 73 00:03:01,823 --> 00:03:03,824 It's the Farhampton Boat Show! 74 00:03:03,825 --> 00:03:06,902 Boats! Boats! Boats! 75 00:03:06,903 --> 00:03:08,370 Remember 5th, 6th and 7th 76 00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,464 at the Farhampton Civic Center. 77 00:03:10,465 --> 00:03:11,765 Boats! Boats! Boats! 78 00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:13,233 Come on down. 79 00:03:13,234 --> 00:03:15,602 B-B-B-Boats! 80 00:03:16,838 --> 00:03:18,472 You did a commercial? 81 00:03:18,473 --> 00:03:19,774 Why not? 82 00:03:19,775 --> 00:03:20,808 You're a journalist! 83 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,643 Don't you want to be taken seriously? 84 00:03:22,644 --> 00:03:24,078 No. I'm cute. 85 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,680 Okay, well, if you really think 86 00:03:25,681 --> 00:03:27,548 this is going to help your image. 87 00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:30,518 Hi, Becky. Boats, boats, boats! 88 00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,688 Robin, a little help here? 89 00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:36,390 Aw... Oh... Robin, 90 00:03:36,391 --> 00:03:38,592 you gotta not worry so much about being liked. 91 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,028 Oh, easy for you to say. 92 00:03:40,029 --> 00:03:41,629 Everybody loves you at your job. 93 00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:43,664 Mm. That was true of my teaching job. 94 00:03:43,665 --> 00:03:45,645 But I was also designing the new headquarters 95 00:03:45,646 --> 00:03:47,480 for Goliath National Bank, and well... 96 00:03:48,037 --> 00:03:51,440 Ted Mosby, we don't like you! 97 00:03:51,441 --> 00:03:53,175 What do you have to say for yourself, 98 00:03:53,176 --> 00:03:54,743 tearing down a beautiful, old building 99 00:03:54,744 --> 00:03:56,879 just to put up a stupid band headquarters? 100 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,080 Hmm... 101 00:03:58,081 --> 00:03:59,481 Boo... 102 00:03:59,482 --> 00:04:00,883 freakin'... 103 00:04:00,884 --> 00:04:02,151 hoo. 104 00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:04,486 Boo freakin' hoo? That's it? 105 00:04:05,155 --> 00:04:06,322 The Arcadian 106 00:04:06,323 --> 00:04:08,390 is an architecturally significant... 107 00:04:08,391 --> 00:04:10,226 Architecturally significant?! 108 00:04:10,227 --> 00:04:12,395 Zoey, you're very pretty. 109 00:04:12,396 --> 00:04:13,696 Your hair smells great. 110 00:04:13,697 --> 00:04:15,698 Shampoo. You should try it sometime. 111 00:04:15,699 --> 00:04:18,367 You don't know the first thing about architecture. 112 00:04:18,368 --> 00:04:20,703 Key Ted Mosby's car. 113 00:04:20,704 --> 00:04:22,171 Go on. 114 00:04:22,172 --> 00:04:23,572 I'm a professor, okay? 115 00:04:23,573 --> 00:04:26,342 I teach this stuff at one of the best colleges in the country. 116 00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:28,444 I don't go down to your place of non-employment 117 00:04:28,445 --> 00:04:30,613 and lecture you about how your little protest 118 00:04:30,614 --> 00:04:32,314 is a misguided waste of time, 119 00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,216 except whoops, I just did. 120 00:04:34,217 --> 00:04:35,517 Ha-burn. 121 00:04:35,518 --> 00:04:38,087 Oh, good, the eggs are here. Well, I should head up. 122 00:04:38,088 --> 00:04:40,122 No, GNB was not popular. 123 00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:42,224 That's why every year they produced a feel-good video 124 00:04:42,225 --> 00:04:43,626 to improve the bank's image. 125 00:04:43,627 --> 00:04:45,727 What makes Goliath National Bank 126 00:04:45,728 --> 00:04:47,162 different from other big banks? 127 00:04:47,163 --> 00:04:49,230 Here at GNB, we care. 128 00:04:49,231 --> 00:04:52,834 I care about our precious Earth. 129 00:04:53,669 --> 00:04:57,438 I care about old people. 130 00:04:57,439 --> 00:05:00,874 I care about high-yield offshore investments. 131 00:05:00,875 --> 00:05:02,409 And so does Tugboat here. 132 00:05:02,410 --> 00:05:04,577 Isn't that right, Tugboat? Yeah. 133 00:05:05,412 --> 00:05:07,680 Okay, get that camera out of my face 134 00:05:07,681 --> 00:05:09,915 before I flip you like a cheese omelet. 135 00:05:09,916 --> 00:05:11,384 All you have to do is say 136 00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:14,921 "I care about making dreams come true." 137 00:05:14,922 --> 00:05:17,691 First of all, that line makes me sound like a hooker 138 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:20,394 and saying it makes me feel like a hooker, so. 139 00:05:20,395 --> 00:05:21,896 Everyone is in this video. 140 00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:24,032 Randy's in the video. 141 00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:26,535 I don't want to brag, but in 29 takes, 142 00:05:26,536 --> 00:05:28,036 I only threw up thrice. 143 00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:31,507 Wait. Randy, did you send the Hermanson contracts downtown? 144 00:05:31,508 --> 00:05:32,608 I did. 145 00:05:32,609 --> 00:05:34,176 I sent them downtown. 146 00:05:34,177 --> 00:05:35,578 Why are you saying it like that? 147 00:05:35,579 --> 00:05:37,179 They never arrived at the downtown office. 148 00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,380 They... 149 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:40,683 Well, just to make sure we're on the same page, 150 00:05:40,684 --> 00:05:41,951 is "send them downtown" 151 00:05:41,952 --> 00:05:44,319 not an expression for shredding a document? 152 00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:46,254 You shredded them?! 153 00:05:46,255 --> 00:05:47,989 Yeah. I sent them downtown. 154 00:05:47,990 --> 00:05:49,691 You know, down into the shredder. 155 00:05:49,692 --> 00:05:50,992 You-you feed the paper 156 00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:52,093 in a downwards fashion, 157 00:05:52,094 --> 00:05:53,761 so that's where the expression comes from. 158 00:05:53,762 --> 00:05:54,862 That's not an expression! 159 00:05:54,863 --> 00:05:56,297 That has never been an expression! 160 00:05:56,298 --> 00:05:57,465 Okay, I can fix this. 161 00:05:57,466 --> 00:05:59,100 I am all over this project. 162 00:06:01,704 --> 00:06:03,438 I'll say this: 163 00:06:03,439 --> 00:06:05,408 There is no quit in that guy. 164 00:06:05,409 --> 00:06:06,609 You should fire him. 165 00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,478 Okay, that, that right there. 166 00:06:08,479 --> 00:06:10,780 That attitude is exactly why I won't be in your video. 167 00:06:10,781 --> 00:06:12,549 Because GNB doesn't care. 168 00:06:12,550 --> 00:06:14,584 They hand out pink slips like they're hors d'oevres. 169 00:06:14,585 --> 00:06:16,853 Just last week, I was talking to Arthur... 170 00:06:16,854 --> 00:06:19,989 Oh, whoa, you're wearing a green tie now. 171 00:06:19,990 --> 00:06:21,957 I'm wearing a green tie. 172 00:06:23,226 --> 00:06:25,594 GNB treats people like they're disposable, 173 00:06:25,595 --> 00:06:27,629 and I will not be a part of that. 174 00:06:27,630 --> 00:06:31,832 Marshall Eriksen does not fire people, period. 175 00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:33,733 Uh, just want you to know, 176 00:06:33,734 --> 00:06:36,470 we are making good progress on this new project. 177 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,839 Oh, you gentlemen keep talking, 178 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,574 I will answer that. 179 00:06:40,575 --> 00:06:42,175 Marshall Eriksen's office. 180 00:06:42,176 --> 00:06:43,677 Yeah, I can get that for you. 181 00:06:43,678 --> 00:06:45,178 Just a second. 182 00:06:47,716 --> 00:06:50,418 Uh... bank. The "B" stands for bank. 183 00:06:50,419 --> 00:06:52,519 Okay, Mother, I'll see you tonight. 184 00:06:52,520 --> 00:06:55,222 Oh, yikes. I'd better get Mr. Messy a napkin. 185 00:07:02,698 --> 00:07:05,366 Period. 186 00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:07,268 Just tell me who you slept with! 187 00:07:07,269 --> 00:07:09,170 Lily, I don't want to get into it, okay? 188 00:07:09,171 --> 00:07:11,573 Aha, it's someone we know. 189 00:07:11,574 --> 00:07:13,575 If it was some ding dong we didn't know, 190 00:07:13,576 --> 00:07:14,776 you'd just give me his name. 191 00:07:14,777 --> 00:07:18,246 Fine. It's Bill Pepper. 192 00:07:18,247 --> 00:07:19,481 Bill Pepper? 193 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:20,782 Mm-hmm. 194 00:07:20,783 --> 00:07:22,951 Kind of a coincidence there happens 195 00:07:22,952 --> 00:07:25,253 to be a bill and a pepper shaker here on the table. 196 00:07:25,254 --> 00:07:29,391 Any chance you and Bill had a three-way with Fork Napkin? 197 00:07:29,392 --> 00:07:30,558 Oh... 198 00:07:30,559 --> 00:07:32,928 It's someone we know! 199 00:07:32,929 --> 00:07:36,231 So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters 200 00:07:36,232 --> 00:07:37,767 on the Greek Revival architecture. 201 00:07:37,768 --> 00:07:38,701 Any questions? 202 00:07:38,702 --> 00:07:40,869 Yes. How do you sleep at night? 203 00:07:46,061 --> 00:07:48,395 What are you doing here? It was recently made clear to me 204 00:07:48,396 --> 00:07:50,497 that I don't know the first thing about architecture, 205 00:07:50,498 --> 00:07:52,466 so here I am. 206 00:07:54,516 --> 00:07:56,985 Very well, then, let's get started. 207 00:07:58,174 --> 00:08:00,275 Some examples of Greek Revival architecture... 208 00:08:00,276 --> 00:08:01,243 Ooh! Ooh! 209 00:08:01,244 --> 00:08:03,980 Is The Arcadian Greek Revival? 210 00:08:03,981 --> 00:08:06,082 No. 211 00:08:06,083 --> 00:08:08,552 What's The Arcadian? 212 00:08:08,553 --> 00:08:10,821 Oh, it's just this beautiful, old building 213 00:08:10,822 --> 00:08:13,090 that Professor Mosby wants to tear down. 214 00:08:13,091 --> 00:08:14,225 What?! No, 215 00:08:14,226 --> 00:08:16,193 Professor Mosby loves old buildings. 216 00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:18,129 He wouldn't do that. Right, Ted? 217 00:08:19,965 --> 00:08:22,266 Getting back to Greek Revival... 218 00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:24,600 I lost them. 219 00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:26,369 Look, you're new at teaching. 220 00:08:26,370 --> 00:08:27,570 In my kindergarten class, 221 00:08:27,571 --> 00:08:30,239 I have had plenty of troublesome students. 222 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,574 Like Johnny Marley... 223 00:08:36,011 --> 00:08:37,445 Johnny? 224 00:08:38,180 --> 00:08:39,681 Johnny! 225 00:08:39,682 --> 00:08:43,885 He and that little stuffed horsey raised all kinds of hell. 226 00:08:43,886 --> 00:08:47,255 But I have a simple method for shutting down troublemakers. 227 00:08:47,256 --> 00:08:50,425 You know that '98 Taurus that's always parked outside? 228 00:08:50,426 --> 00:08:52,560 The one with the really annoying alarm? 229 00:09:01,970 --> 00:09:04,005 We're familiar with it. 230 00:09:04,006 --> 00:09:06,974 Well, when a kid like Johnny acts up in my class... 231 00:09:18,687 --> 00:09:20,821 - Shuts them right up. - Lily, 232 00:09:20,822 --> 00:09:23,157 my students are adults, and I treat them that way. 233 00:09:23,158 --> 00:09:25,859 I'll just give them more candy and make them a mix CD. 234 00:09:25,860 --> 00:09:27,428 Problem solved. 235 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:29,430 Oh, baby, what's wrong? 236 00:09:30,299 --> 00:09:33,001 Something bad happened. 237 00:09:33,002 --> 00:09:35,904 Randy, hey, have you seen the... 238 00:09:35,905 --> 00:09:37,305 Before you get to that, 239 00:09:37,306 --> 00:09:39,574 regarding the earlier project I was working on... 240 00:09:39,575 --> 00:09:41,009 Voilà! 241 00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:42,444 That's the Hermanson contract? 242 00:09:42,445 --> 00:09:44,012 The Hermanson contract? 243 00:09:44,013 --> 00:09:46,648 Oh, man, this is the Filbert contract. 244 00:09:46,649 --> 00:09:49,051 Damn it! No... 245 00:09:49,052 --> 00:09:51,353 Anyway, what's your thing? 246 00:09:51,354 --> 00:09:53,088 I need the Filbert contract! 247 00:09:53,089 --> 00:09:55,257 No!! 248 00:09:57,026 --> 00:09:59,495 Well, I'll do what I can. 249 00:09:59,496 --> 00:10:03,800 But in my experience, twice shredded is fairly permanent. 250 00:10:03,801 --> 00:10:07,238 Sorry, Randy, but... 251 00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,306 this just isn't working out. 252 00:10:09,307 --> 00:10:12,243 Marshall popped his cherry! Oh! 253 00:10:12,244 --> 00:10:15,413 Come on, Marshall, you have to admit, the guy was a disaster. 254 00:10:15,414 --> 00:10:17,816 I mean, it reflected badly on the company. 255 00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:20,185 He was an embarrassment. 256 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,553 A huge embarrassment. 257 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:24,056 You slept with Randy! 258 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,224 What?! 259 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:28,093 Why, it's elementary, my dear Scherbatson. 260 00:10:28,094 --> 00:10:30,796 Your co-host is getting super-popular 261 00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,665 because of her stupid commercial, 262 00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:34,133 "Boats! Boats! Boats!" 263 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:37,036 So, when you arrived at the GNB party after we left, 264 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:40,172 you were feeling vulnerable and drunk. 265 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:44,076 Then, from across the not-so-crowded conference room, 266 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:46,112 your eyes met. 267 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,351 And as we all remember... 268 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:53,719 Randy has a unique condition. 269 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:57,090 Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet. 270 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,793 Oh, God, this happens every time I get an erection. 271 00:10:59,794 --> 00:11:01,127 I am so sorry. 272 00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,432 That's... 273 00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:08,970 exactly what happened. 274 00:11:09,876 --> 00:11:10,876 See, Marshall, 275 00:11:11,044 --> 00:11:12,821 if getting fired is an execution, 276 00:11:12,822 --> 00:11:14,492 at least the guy had a last meal. 277 00:11:15,051 --> 00:11:15,979 I promise you, 278 00:11:15,980 --> 00:11:17,814 tomorrow you'll feel a lot better. 279 00:11:19,148 --> 00:11:21,382 Randy, hey, what's going on? 280 00:11:21,383 --> 00:11:23,850 I just wanted to say no hard feelings. 281 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,886 Thank you. 282 00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:27,854 So where you headed now? 283 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:32,458 Downtown. 284 00:11:35,629 --> 00:11:37,163 No!! 285 00:11:38,232 --> 00:11:40,066 It's okay, baby. 286 00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:41,502 It wasn't okay. 287 00:11:41,503 --> 00:11:42,803 So the next morning... 288 00:11:42,804 --> 00:11:45,239 Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake. 289 00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,674 I fired Randy yesterday. 290 00:11:46,675 --> 00:11:47,742 That was a mistake. 291 00:11:47,743 --> 00:11:49,411 You should have fired him a year ago. 292 00:11:49,412 --> 00:11:52,348 No, sir, that is what's wrong with this company. 293 00:11:52,349 --> 00:11:54,450 How can we say "GNB Cares," 294 00:11:54,451 --> 00:11:57,086 and then turn around and treat someone like that? 295 00:11:57,087 --> 00:11:58,754 I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes, 296 00:11:58,755 --> 00:12:00,089 but everybody makes mistakes. 297 00:12:00,090 --> 00:12:02,291 Like, like Tugboat here. 298 00:12:02,292 --> 00:12:04,794 Aw. I bet you he's made some mistakes. 299 00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:07,329 And you didn't fire Tugboat, did you? 300 00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:09,765 No, I got him fixed, and he calmed down. 301 00:12:09,766 --> 00:12:11,834 Exactly... kind of. 302 00:12:11,835 --> 00:12:13,303 Randy doesn't need to be fired. 303 00:12:13,304 --> 00:12:14,904 He needs to be fixed. 304 00:12:14,905 --> 00:12:18,208 Marshall, we do some pretty bad things around here, but I... 305 00:12:18,209 --> 00:12:20,477 No, sir, I'm saying instead of getting rid of someone 306 00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:23,681 when they screw up, we should... we should help them. 307 00:12:24,449 --> 00:12:26,550 We should nurture them. 308 00:12:26,551 --> 00:12:28,019 Oh... 309 00:12:30,823 --> 00:12:32,958 I changed the ice pack on his crotch 310 00:12:32,959 --> 00:12:34,726 every hour for three days. 311 00:12:34,727 --> 00:12:40,965 Wow, Eriksen, if you want to un-fire Randy, I support you, 312 00:12:40,966 --> 00:12:43,266 because to come in here and say what you just said, 313 00:12:43,267 --> 00:12:45,702 well, you've got a couple things that Tugboat doesn't. 314 00:12:49,506 --> 00:12:53,109 Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay? 315 00:12:53,110 --> 00:12:55,411 A piece of New York history is being torn down, 316 00:12:55,412 --> 00:12:58,748 and all you could say was "Boo freakin' hoo"? 317 00:12:58,749 --> 00:12:59,850 Boo... freakin'... 318 00:12:59,851 --> 00:13:01,719 I may have mentioned our conversation 319 00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,554 over a session of hacky sack. 320 00:13:03,555 --> 00:13:05,523 The one day I miss the sack circle, 321 00:13:05,524 --> 00:13:07,425 you guys sub her in? 322 00:13:07,426 --> 00:13:08,626 Why'd you miss? 323 00:13:08,627 --> 00:13:10,996 Too busy tearing down the Statue of Liberty? 324 00:13:10,997 --> 00:13:16,102 No. I was returning a hot dog costume that you all enjoyed. 325 00:13:17,103 --> 00:13:19,772 They were all turning against me, 326 00:13:19,773 --> 00:13:21,773 so I figured, what the hell. 327 00:13:35,888 --> 00:13:36,855 And did it work? 328 00:13:36,856 --> 00:13:37,989 Like gangbusters. 329 00:13:37,990 --> 00:13:38,924 We're buddies again. 330 00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:40,626 After class, we hacked a little sack 331 00:13:40,627 --> 00:13:42,762 to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD. 332 00:13:42,763 --> 00:13:45,098 And no, none of them had heard the Pixies B-side. 333 00:13:45,099 --> 00:13:47,401 Actually, none of them had heard of the Pixies. 334 00:13:47,402 --> 00:13:48,669 Or a B-side. 335 00:13:48,670 --> 00:13:50,438 Hey, guys. 336 00:13:50,439 --> 00:13:52,006 Uh-oh. I know that smile. 337 00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:54,142 Lily, there's no easy way to say this. 338 00:13:54,143 --> 00:13:55,377 Marshall's dead. 339 00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:56,945 Randy murdered him. 340 00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:59,748 No. I know why Randy is smiling. 341 00:13:59,749 --> 00:14:02,217 You're smiling because of Robin. 342 00:14:02,218 --> 00:14:05,321 Robin? Like how I think about her when I'm in the shower? 343 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:06,789 I'm trying to eat here, buddy. 344 00:14:06,790 --> 00:14:10,059 No. Because you slept with her on Halloween. 345 00:14:10,060 --> 00:14:11,960 What? No. 346 00:14:11,961 --> 00:14:15,330 I went home, had a shower an-and went to bed. 347 00:14:15,331 --> 00:14:16,398 You didn't sleep with her? 348 00:14:16,399 --> 00:14:17,933 No. 349 00:14:17,934 --> 00:14:19,134 Even in the shower, 350 00:14:19,135 --> 00:14:20,969 the farthest we ever get is hugging. 351 00:14:20,970 --> 00:14:23,505 So why are you smiling? 352 00:14:23,506 --> 00:14:25,040 I'll tell you why. 353 00:14:25,041 --> 00:14:27,310 This just isn't working out. 354 00:14:27,311 --> 00:14:30,045 I'm fired. Great. 355 00:14:30,046 --> 00:14:33,883 This is the candle kiosk at the mall all over again. 356 00:14:33,884 --> 00:14:35,251 Wait a minute. 357 00:14:35,252 --> 00:14:37,320 I can get a severance check. 358 00:14:37,321 --> 00:14:39,223 If I don't shred it, 359 00:14:39,224 --> 00:14:42,293 I can use that money to start my own brewery. 360 00:14:42,294 --> 00:14:44,896 Imagine a beer with my name on it. 361 00:14:44,897 --> 00:14:48,967 Randy Wharmpiss, this is the best day of your life. 362 00:14:50,571 --> 00:14:52,438 Thanks to that severance check, 363 00:14:52,439 --> 00:14:54,607 this time next year, you'll all be enjoying 364 00:14:54,608 --> 00:14:56,309 a frothy mug of Wharmpiss. 365 00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:58,277 Randy, great news! 366 00:14:58,278 --> 00:14:59,745 You're not fired! 367 00:15:02,216 --> 00:15:03,816 No...! 368 00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:10,389 Good morning, everybody... 369 00:15:13,593 --> 00:15:15,228 Where's my class? 370 00:15:17,697 --> 00:15:19,098 Hello, Professor. 371 00:15:20,101 --> 00:15:22,235 Ha-boom. 372 00:15:26,374 --> 00:15:28,054 I got you your job back, Randy. 373 00:15:28,055 --> 00:15:29,488 I thought that you'd be happy. 374 00:15:29,506 --> 00:15:31,006 But I don't belong here. 375 00:15:31,302 --> 00:15:33,842 I'm born to be a brewer! A... a hopsmeister! 376 00:15:33,843 --> 00:15:35,944 Well, then quit. No one's stopping you. 377 00:15:35,945 --> 00:15:38,112 I-I can't. I need my severance check. 378 00:15:38,113 --> 00:15:40,515 Well, I'm sorry Randy, but that's called fraud. 379 00:15:40,516 --> 00:15:41,722 It's not fraud. 380 00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:43,005 I'm just asking you to get me 381 00:15:43,006 --> 00:15:44,373 a lot of money to not work here 382 00:15:44,686 --> 00:15:46,086 and not tell anyone about it. 383 00:15:46,087 --> 00:15:48,588 Even if I wanted to fire you, after my talk with Arthur... 384 00:15:48,589 --> 00:15:51,091 Oh, come on, Arthur can't remember that. 385 00:15:51,092 --> 00:15:53,660 Marshall, what a memorable talk we had yesterday. 386 00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:58,098 Randy, on behalf of everyone at GNB, both in and out of prison, 387 00:15:58,099 --> 00:15:59,633 we're sorry. 388 00:15:59,634 --> 00:16:01,101 And I want to assure you 389 00:16:01,102 --> 00:16:02,569 you will never be fired again. 390 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:05,005 You're going to work here until you die, huh? 391 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,006 Huh? 392 00:16:06,007 --> 00:16:07,407 Green tie? 393 00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:10,144 Nice choice. 394 00:16:10,145 --> 00:16:11,845 Thanks. It brings out my eyes. 395 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:14,348 Yeah. I'll bring out your eyes. 396 00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:17,117 Listen, Randy, I'm sorry, 397 00:16:17,118 --> 00:16:18,885 but I broke my own moral code once 398 00:16:18,886 --> 00:16:20,520 and I felt evil. 399 00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,288 I will not let GNB change me. 400 00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:26,391 I will never fire anyone again ever. 401 00:16:26,392 --> 00:16:28,227 Oh, we'll see about that. 402 00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:33,732 Anyhoo, while I got you... 403 00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:35,200 big smile. 404 00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:37,336 "We care about making dreams come true," 405 00:16:37,337 --> 00:16:38,771 in three, two... 406 00:16:38,772 --> 00:16:40,573 No! 407 00:16:40,574 --> 00:16:41,641 What are you doing? 408 00:16:41,642 --> 00:16:44,143 Oh, are you unhappy with my performance? 409 00:16:44,144 --> 00:16:46,445 Well, I guess I'm fired, then. I'd better turn in my I.D. 410 00:16:46,446 --> 00:16:49,448 No, it's actually, um, nice 411 00:16:49,449 --> 00:16:51,251 having some of this clutter off my desk. 412 00:16:51,252 --> 00:16:52,718 So thank you, Randy. 413 00:16:57,258 --> 00:16:59,426 And there's more. 414 00:17:00,696 --> 00:17:02,697 I don't know what I'm going to use this for, 415 00:17:02,698 --> 00:17:03,798 but it's great stuff. 416 00:17:03,799 --> 00:17:05,233 Now am I fired? 417 00:17:06,501 --> 00:17:10,138 I've been meaning to clean out that file cabinet for ages. 418 00:17:10,139 --> 00:17:11,406 I'm not even here. 419 00:17:11,407 --> 00:17:12,975 Randy, the coffee. 420 00:17:13,576 --> 00:17:15,444 Oh! Okay. 421 00:17:15,445 --> 00:17:17,113 Okay. 422 00:17:17,848 --> 00:17:19,548 Thank you, Randy. 423 00:17:19,549 --> 00:17:21,885 I've been meaning to cut back on my caffeine. 424 00:17:21,886 --> 00:17:24,087 Here, try this, but really go for it. 425 00:17:24,088 --> 00:17:25,756 Remember, this guy ruined your life. 426 00:17:32,197 --> 00:17:34,698 That's just the pick-me-up I needed. 427 00:17:35,767 --> 00:17:39,236 Speaking of pickups, can we try the first one again? 428 00:17:41,673 --> 00:17:42,672 Hello. 429 00:17:42,673 --> 00:17:44,074 It didn't work. They hate me. 430 00:17:44,075 --> 00:17:46,142 How do I get them to like me again? 431 00:17:46,143 --> 00:17:47,276 You don't. 432 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:48,811 Ted, you're their teacher. 433 00:17:48,812 --> 00:17:50,880 The only people that like their teachers... 434 00:17:50,881 --> 00:17:51,914 I like my teachers. 435 00:17:51,915 --> 00:17:53,515 are dorks. 436 00:17:53,516 --> 00:17:55,117 Except for you, Miles. 437 00:17:57,755 --> 00:18:00,424 Ted, you just have to learn to embrace their hatred. 438 00:18:00,425 --> 00:18:03,094 Because behind that hatred lies fear. 439 00:18:03,095 --> 00:18:04,195 And you can use 440 00:18:04,196 --> 00:18:07,332 use that fear, like I did with Johnny Marley. 441 00:18:07,333 --> 00:18:08,800 Was there more to that story? 442 00:18:08,801 --> 00:18:10,902 A little bit. 443 00:18:28,486 --> 00:18:31,320 Lily, you're a psychopath. 444 00:18:31,321 --> 00:18:32,522 A little bit. 445 00:18:32,523 --> 00:18:35,091 Oh, a panda! 446 00:18:37,361 --> 00:18:39,328 I thought about Lily's advice. 447 00:18:39,329 --> 00:18:43,433 And I figured fear was worth a try. 448 00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:45,368 Well, Professor Mosby, 449 00:18:45,369 --> 00:18:46,970 is there anything you want to say to us? 450 00:18:46,971 --> 00:18:51,375 Anyone not in class tomorrow gets an "F." 451 00:18:54,046 --> 00:18:55,846 You said that? 452 00:18:55,847 --> 00:18:57,515 Well, technically, they'd get an incomplete, 453 00:18:57,516 --> 00:19:00,118 but I thought "F" had a nice, scary ring to it. 454 00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:01,186 Right? Yeah. 455 00:19:01,187 --> 00:19:02,387 Hey, guys. Hey. 456 00:19:02,388 --> 00:19:03,588 Robin, who'd you sleep with? 457 00:19:03,589 --> 00:19:05,257 I told you... Randy. 458 00:19:05,258 --> 00:19:07,059 He was a machine. 459 00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,428 Where's the poop, Robin? 460 00:19:10,563 --> 00:19:13,398 Fine. I didn't sleep with anyone. 461 00:19:13,399 --> 00:19:15,733 The thing is, ever since Becky did that commercial, 462 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:17,568 everyone at work loves her. 463 00:19:17,569 --> 00:19:20,671 So, the day after Halloween, I was in a commercial. 464 00:19:20,672 --> 00:19:22,706 What... Why didn't you tell us? 465 00:19:23,941 --> 00:19:26,309 Bladder trouble... it's embarrassing, 466 00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:29,512 it's uncomfortable, and it can affect anyone. 467 00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:32,248 I'm going to the bathroom right now. 468 00:19:32,249 --> 00:19:34,517 Neat and discreet adult diapers 469 00:19:34,518 --> 00:19:35,785 for anyone. 470 00:19:35,786 --> 00:19:36,987 Say... 471 00:19:36,988 --> 00:19:39,824 "Ah..." 472 00:19:44,997 --> 00:19:48,367 Wow! I can't wait to see it. 473 00:19:48,368 --> 00:19:49,535 Well, hopefully you never will. 474 00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,536 They said that they might not even use it. 475 00:19:51,537 --> 00:19:53,004 It ran for seven years. 476 00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,075 Okay, you win. 477 00:19:57,076 --> 00:20:00,178 Maybe trashing your office was a mistake. 478 00:20:00,179 --> 00:20:03,315 It's just, uh, as long as I can remember, 479 00:20:03,316 --> 00:20:05,617 making beer has been my dream. 480 00:20:06,752 --> 00:20:08,653 Wharmpiss? 481 00:20:10,289 --> 00:20:12,557 I know it sounds dumb 482 00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:15,327 to someone who's already achieved his dream... 483 00:20:15,328 --> 00:20:17,296 big-time lawyer at a huge corporation. 484 00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:19,699 You think working here is my dream? 485 00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:20,900 Of course. 486 00:20:21,735 --> 00:20:24,404 Anyways, I'll clean this stuff up. 487 00:20:24,405 --> 00:20:27,040 Have someone get that dead squirrel out of your desk. 488 00:20:29,377 --> 00:20:31,111 Randy. 489 00:20:32,379 --> 00:20:34,447 This is delicious. 490 00:20:35,716 --> 00:20:38,017 You're fired. 491 00:20:39,719 --> 00:20:41,086 Kids, the next morning... 492 00:20:41,087 --> 00:20:46,256 my class had the highest attendance it had ever had. 493 00:20:46,257 --> 00:20:48,258 And not long after that, 494 00:20:48,259 --> 00:20:50,828 Randy used his severance money to start a little brewery. 495 00:20:50,829 --> 00:20:55,098 Now you can have a Wharmpiss at every bar in America. 496 00:20:55,099 --> 00:20:56,133 And all because... 497 00:20:56,134 --> 00:20:59,903 I care about making dreams come true. 498 00:20:59,904 --> 00:21:02,072 You got what you need? 499 00:21:02,073 --> 00:21:04,040 Yep. That's a wrap.