1
00:00:01,449 --> 00:00:03,972
TED: And so, due to one
architectural oversight,
2
00:00:03,664 --> 00:00:05,465
the Toledo Bridge Disaster of 1906
3
00:00:06,396 --> 00:00:08,900
claimed the lives of 75 people.
4
00:00:08,901 --> 00:00:12,104
Now, I hate to stop while I'm on a roll,
5
00:00:12,105 --> 00:00:14,542
but happy Halloween, ya crazies!
6
00:00:14,543 --> 00:00:16,010
(class cheering)
7
00:00:16,011 --> 00:00:17,644
Hey, Professor Brosby,
8
00:00:17,645 --> 00:00:19,480
you gonna come get beers with us later?
9
00:00:19,481 --> 00:00:20,749
Nah, I got a thing.
10
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:22,950
But you kids have fun trick or treating.
11
00:00:22,951 --> 00:00:24,118
This is a treat.
12
00:00:24,119 --> 00:00:26,521
You're the coolest, Professor Mosby.
13
00:00:26,522 --> 00:00:27,722
Well, hot dog.
14
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:29,690
(class laughs)
LILY: Did it hurt?
15
00:00:29,691 --> 00:00:30,691
What?
16
00:00:30,692 --> 00:00:32,125
Getting that kid's nose
17
00:00:32,126 --> 00:00:34,427
surgically removed from your ass.
18
00:00:34,428 --> 00:00:38,364
It's not her nose that's in
my ass, Lily, it's her heart.
19
00:00:38,365 --> 00:00:40,565
My class loves me; I... I'm really making
20
00:00:40,566 --> 00:00:42,500
an impression on those guys.
21
00:00:43,937 --> 00:00:45,971
I'd like to make impression on those guys.
22
00:00:45,972 --> 00:00:48,708
Man, I love the office Halloween party.
23
00:00:48,709 --> 00:00:51,912
It is so much sluttier
than the office Christmas party.
24
00:00:51,913 --> 00:00:53,448
Though not as freaky
25
00:00:53,449 --> 00:00:55,851
as the office President's Day Rave.
26
00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:58,955
Or the office Tu B'Shvat Pajama Jammy-Jam.
27
00:00:59,724 --> 00:01:01,390
Hey, guys. Hey, Boss.
28
00:01:01,391 --> 00:01:03,027
Hey, Randy. Uh, you want a beer?
29
00:01:03,028 --> 00:01:04,761
Oh, no, thank you. I brew my own.
30
00:01:04,762 --> 00:01:05,762
At the risk of bragging,
31
00:01:05,763 --> 00:01:08,299
my Hazelnut Pilsner won fourth prize
32
00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:09,767
at the Weehawken Retirement Home.
33
00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:12,303
Clam Bake and Wheelchair
Maintenance Picnic.
34
00:01:12,304 --> 00:01:15,239
I wouldn't consider any
part of that bragging.
35
00:01:15,240 --> 00:01:17,774
Hey, it just occurred to me,
is your friend...
36
00:01:17,775 --> 00:01:19,509
What's her name?... Garbin, Flabin...
37
00:01:19,510 --> 00:01:21,044
- Robin?
- Robin. That's it, yeah.
38
00:01:21,045 --> 00:01:23,346
Is she gonna be here?
Oh, not that I really care.
39
00:01:23,347 --> 00:01:24,981
Robin has another party to go to.
40
00:01:24,982 --> 00:01:26,482
No! Damn it!
41
00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,185
I'm leaving.
44
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:40,331
So, anyone going to see
the Halloween parade?
45
00:01:40,332 --> 00:01:43,400
NARRATOR: Oh, we were big fans of
New York's annual Halloween parade.
46
00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:45,068
I don't mean the one that takes place
47
00:01:45,069 --> 00:01:46,636
Halloween night in the Village.
48
00:01:46,637 --> 00:01:49,005
I mean the one that takes place
the morning of November 1st...
49
00:01:49,006 --> 00:01:52,509
the Annual Post Halloween
Walk of Shame Parade.
50
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:54,277
Look at them heading home
51
00:01:54,278 --> 00:01:56,846
after their dirty, filthy hookups.
52
00:01:56,847 --> 00:02:00,182
(shudders)
Looks like that bee got busy.
53
00:02:00,183 --> 00:02:01,684
(chuckles)
54
00:02:01,685 --> 00:02:04,453
Looks like that French maid
didn't turn down somebody's bed.
55
00:02:04,454 --> 00:02:07,924
Oh, looks like Pocahontas
has a couple of wounded knees.
56
00:02:07,925 --> 00:02:09,759
- Come on, Marshall.
- That's a line.
57
00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,761
- No, it's because of the...
- We get it.
58
00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:13,630
Does it get any better than this?
59
00:02:13,631 --> 00:02:15,766
Uh, yes.
60
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,635
Yes, it does.
61
00:02:19,137 --> 00:02:20,270
(sighs)
62
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:22,072
Crap.
63
00:02:22,073 --> 00:02:26,144
♪ How I Met Your Mother 6x07 ♪
Canning Randy
Original Air Date on November 1, 2010
64
00:02:26,145 --> 00:02:30,148
-- Sync, corrected by elderman
... for www.addic7ed.com...
65
00:02:37,906 --> 00:02:41,476
There she is... Florence
Night-ln-Bed-With-A-Stranger.
66
00:02:42,271 --> 00:02:44,439
So, who's the lucky patient?
67
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:45,774
I don't want to talk about it.
68
00:02:45,775 --> 00:02:47,242
Please tell me you're not hooking up
69
00:02:47,243 --> 00:02:48,811
with one of your co-anchors again.
70
00:02:48,812 --> 00:02:50,379
- My co-anchor's a woman.
- Please tell me you are hooking up
71
00:02:50,380 --> 00:02:51,714
with one of your co-anchors again.
72
00:02:51,715 --> 00:02:53,583
(laughing)
NARRATOR: Robin had always believed
73
00:02:53,584 --> 00:02:55,151
that the key to success
74
00:02:55,152 --> 00:02:56,886
was intelligence,
hard work and professionalism.
75
00:02:56,887 --> 00:02:59,088
Her new co-anchor Becky
had a different philosophy.
76
00:02:59,089 --> 00:03:02,224
(techno music playing)
Boats! Boats! Boats!
77
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,226
ANNOUNCER:
It's the Farhampton Boat Show!
78
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:07,730
Boats! Boats! Boats!
79
00:03:07,731 --> 00:03:09,198
Remember 5th, 6th and 7th
80
00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:10,866
at the Farhampton Civic Center.
81
00:03:10,867 --> 00:03:12,167
Boats! Boats! Boats!
82
00:03:12,168 --> 00:03:13,635
Come on down.
83
00:03:13,636 --> 00:03:16,004
B-B-B-Boats!
84
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,874
You did a commercial?
85
00:03:18,875 --> 00:03:20,176
Why not?
86
00:03:20,177 --> 00:03:21,210
You're a journalist!
87
00:03:21,211 --> 00:03:23,045
Don't you want to be taken seriously?
88
00:03:23,046 --> 00:03:24,480
No. I'm cute.
89
00:03:24,481 --> 00:03:26,082
Okay, well, if you really think
90
00:03:26,083 --> 00:03:27,950
this is going to help your image.
91
00:03:27,951 --> 00:03:30,920
Hi, Becky. Boats, boats, boats!
92
00:03:31,988 --> 00:03:35,090
Robin, a little help here?
93
00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:36,792
- Aw...
- Oh...
- Robin,
94
00:03:36,793 --> 00:03:38,994
you gotta not worry so much
about being liked.
95
00:03:38,995 --> 00:03:40,430
Oh, easy for you to say.
96
00:03:40,431 --> 00:03:42,031
Everybody loves you at your job.
97
00:03:42,032 --> 00:03:44,066
- Mm.
- That was true of my teaching job.
98
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:46,603
But I was also designing
the new headquarters
99
00:03:46,604 --> 00:03:48,438
for Goliath National Bank, and well...
100
00:03:48,439 --> 00:03:51,842
Ted Mosby, we don't like you!
101
00:03:51,843 --> 00:03:53,577
What do you have to say for yourself,
102
00:03:53,578 --> 00:03:55,145
tearing down a beautiful, old building
103
00:03:55,146 --> 00:03:57,281
just to put up a stupid band headquarters?
104
00:03:57,282 --> 00:03:58,482
Hmm...
105
00:03:58,483 --> 00:03:59,883
Boo...
106
00:03:59,884 --> 00:04:01,285
freakin'...
107
00:04:01,286 --> 00:04:02,553
hoo.
108
00:04:02,554 --> 00:04:04,888
Boo freakin' hoo? That's it?
109
00:04:05,557 --> 00:04:06,724
The Arcadian
110
00:04:06,725 --> 00:04:08,792
is an architecturally significant...
111
00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:10,628
Architecturally significant?!
112
00:04:10,629 --> 00:04:12,797
Zoey, you're very pretty.
113
00:04:12,798 --> 00:04:14,098
Your hair smells great.
114
00:04:14,099 --> 00:04:16,100
Shampoo. You should try it sometime.
115
00:04:16,101 --> 00:04:18,769
You don't know the first thing
about architecture.
116
00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:21,105
Key Ted Mosby's car.
117
00:04:21,106 --> 00:04:22,573
Go on.
118
00:04:22,574 --> 00:04:23,974
I'm a professor, okay?
119
00:04:23,975 --> 00:04:26,744
I teach this stuff at one of the
best colleges in the country.
120
00:04:26,745 --> 00:04:28,846
I don't go down
to your place of non-employment
121
00:04:28,847 --> 00:04:31,015
and lecture you about
how your little protest
122
00:04:31,016 --> 00:04:32,716
is a misguided waste of time,
123
00:04:32,717 --> 00:04:34,618
except whoops, I just did.
124
00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:35,919
Ha-burn.
125
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,489
- Oh, good, the eggs are here.
- Well, I should head up.
126
00:04:38,490 --> 00:04:40,524
NARRATOR: No, GNB was not popular.
127
00:04:40,525 --> 00:04:42,626
That's why every year they
produced a feel-good video
128
00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:44,028
to improve the bank's image.
129
00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:46,129
GNB ANNOUNCER:
What makes Goliath National Bank
130
00:04:46,130 --> 00:04:47,564
different from other big banks?
131
00:04:47,565 --> 00:04:49,632
Here at GNB, we care.
132
00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:53,236
I care about our precious Earth.
133
00:04:54,071 --> 00:04:57,840
I care about old people.
134
00:04:57,841 --> 00:05:01,276
I care about high-yield
offshore investments.
135
00:05:01,277 --> 00:05:02,811
And so does Tugboat here.
136
00:05:02,812 --> 00:05:04,979
Isn't that right, Tugboat? Yeah.
137
00:05:05,814 --> 00:05:08,082
Okay, get that camera out of my face
138
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:10,317
before I flip you like a cheese omelet.
139
00:05:10,318 --> 00:05:11,786
All you have to do is say.
140
00:05:11,787 --> 00:05:15,323
"I care about making dreams come true."
141
00:05:15,324 --> 00:05:18,093
First of all, that line
makes me sound like a hooker
142
00:05:18,094 --> 00:05:20,796
and saying it makes me
feel like a hooker, so.
143
00:05:20,797 --> 00:05:22,298
Everyone is in this video.
144
00:05:22,299 --> 00:05:24,434
Randy's in the video.
145
00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:26,937
I don't want to brag, but in 29 takes,
146
00:05:26,938 --> 00:05:28,438
I only threw up thrice.
147
00:05:28,439 --> 00:05:31,909
Wait. Randy, did you send the
Hermanson contracts downtown?
148
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:33,010
I did.
149
00:05:33,011 --> 00:05:34,578
I sent them downtown.
150
00:05:34,579 --> 00:05:35,980
Why are you saying it like that?
151
00:05:35,981 --> 00:05:37,581
They never arrived at the downtown office.
152
00:05:37,582 --> 00:05:38,782
They...
153
00:05:38,783 --> 00:05:41,085
Well, just to make sure
we're on the same page,
154
00:05:41,086 --> 00:05:42,353
is "send them downtown"
155
00:05:42,354 --> 00:05:44,721
not an expression for shredding a document?
156
00:05:45,523 --> 00:05:46,656
You shredded them?!
157
00:05:46,657 --> 00:05:48,391
Yeah. I sent them downtown.
158
00:05:48,392 --> 00:05:50,093
You know, down into the shredder.
159
00:05:50,094 --> 00:05:51,394
You... you feed the paper
160
00:05:51,395 --> 00:05:52,495
in a downwards fashion,
161
00:05:52,496 --> 00:05:54,163
so that's where the expression comes from.
162
00:05:54,164 --> 00:05:55,264
That's not an expression!
163
00:05:55,265 --> 00:05:56,699
That has never been an expression!
164
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:57,867
Okay, I can fix this.
165
00:05:57,868 --> 00:05:59,502
I am all over this project.
166
00:06:02,106 --> 00:06:03,840
I'll say this:
167
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:05,810
There is no quit in that guy.
168
00:06:05,811 --> 00:06:07,011
You should fire him.
169
00:06:07,012 --> 00:06:08,880
Okay, that, that right there.
170
00:06:08,881 --> 00:06:11,182
That attitude is exactly why
I won't be in your video.
171
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:12,951
Because GNB doesn't care.
172
00:06:12,952 --> 00:06:14,986
They hand out pink slips
like they're hors d'oevres.
173
00:06:14,987 --> 00:06:17,255
Just last week, I was talking to Arthur...
174
00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:20,391
Oh, whoa, you're wearing a green tie now.
175
00:06:20,392 --> 00:06:22,359
I'm wearing a green tie.
176
00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:23,627
(elevator bell dings)
177
00:06:23,628 --> 00:06:25,996
GNB treats people like they're disposable,
178
00:06:25,997 --> 00:06:28,031
and I will not be a part of that.
179
00:06:28,032 --> 00:06:32,234
Marshall Eriksen
does not fire people, period.
180
00:06:32,235 --> 00:06:34,135
Uh, just want you to know,
181
00:06:34,136 --> 00:06:36,872
we are making good progress
on this new project.
182
00:06:36,873 --> 00:06:37,840
(phone rings)
183
00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:39,241
Oh, you gentlemen keep talking,
184
00:06:39,242 --> 00:06:40,976
I will answer that.
185
00:06:40,977 --> 00:06:42,577
Marshall Eriksen's office.
186
00:06:42,578 --> 00:06:44,079
Yeah, I can get that for you.
187
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,580
Just a second.
188
00:06:48,118 --> 00:06:50,820
Uh... bank. The "B" stands for bank.
189
00:06:50,821 --> 00:06:52,921
Okay, Mother, I'll see you tonight.
190
00:06:52,922 --> 00:06:55,624
Oh, yikes. I'd better get
Mr. Messy a napkin.
191
00:06:58,729 --> 00:07:03,099
(loud clattering)
192
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:05,768
Period.
193
00:07:05,769 --> 00:07:07,670
Just tell me who you slept with!
194
00:07:07,671 --> 00:07:09,572
Lily, I don't want to get into it, okay?
195
00:07:09,573 --> 00:07:11,975
Aha, it's someone we know.
196
00:07:11,976 --> 00:07:13,977
If it was some ding dong we didn't know,
197
00:07:13,978 --> 00:07:15,178
you'd just give me his name.
198
00:07:15,179 --> 00:07:18,648
Fine. It's Bill Pepper.
199
00:07:18,649 --> 00:07:19,883
Bill Pepper?
200
00:07:19,884 --> 00:07:21,184
Mm-hmm.
201
00:07:21,185 --> 00:07:23,353
Kind of a coincidence there happens
202
00:07:23,354 --> 00:07:25,655
to be a bill and a pepper
shaker here on the table.
203
00:07:25,656 --> 00:07:29,793
(gasps) Any chance you and Bill had a
three-way with Fork Napkin?
204
00:07:29,794 --> 00:07:30,960
Oh...
205
00:07:30,961 --> 00:07:33,330
It's someone we know!
206
00:07:33,331 --> 00:07:36,633
So, I'm assuming you all read the chapters
207
00:07:36,634 --> 00:07:38,169
on the Greek Revival architecture.
208
00:07:38,170 --> 00:07:39,103
Any questions?
209
00:07:39,104 --> 00:07:41,271
Yes. How do you sleep at night?
210
00:07:44,399 --> 00:07:46,733
- What are you doing here?
- It was recently made clear to me
211
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,835
that I don't know the first
thing about architecture,
212
00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,804
so here I am.
213
00:07:52,854 --> 00:07:55,323
Very well, then, let's get started.
214
00:07:55,377 --> 00:07:56,511
(clears throat)
215
00:07:56,512 --> 00:07:58,613
Some examples of Greek Revival
architecture...
216
00:07:58,614 --> 00:07:59,581
Ooh! Ooh!
217
00:07:59,582 --> 00:08:02,318
Is The Arcadian Greek Revival?
218
00:08:02,319 --> 00:08:04,420
No.
219
00:08:04,421 --> 00:08:06,890
What's The Arcadian?
220
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:09,159
Oh, it's just this beautiful, old building
221
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,428
that Professor Mosby wants to tear down.
222
00:08:11,429 --> 00:08:12,563
BETTY: What?! No,
223
00:08:12,564 --> 00:08:14,531
Professor Mosby loves old buildings.
224
00:08:14,532 --> 00:08:16,467
He wouldn't do that. Right, Ted?
225
00:08:18,303 --> 00:08:20,604
Getting back to Greek Revival...
226
00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:22,938
I lost them.
227
00:08:22,939 --> 00:08:24,707
Look, you're new at teaching.
228
00:08:24,708 --> 00:08:25,908
In my kindergarten class,
229
00:08:25,909 --> 00:08:28,577
I have had plenty of troublesome students.
230
00:08:28,578 --> 00:08:30,912
Like Johnny Marley...
231
00:08:30,913 --> 00:08:33,280
(boy shouting playfully)
232
00:08:34,349 --> 00:08:35,783
Johnny?
233
00:08:36,518 --> 00:08:38,019
Johnny!
234
00:08:38,020 --> 00:08:42,223
He and that little stuffed
horsey raised all kinds of hell.
235
00:08:42,224 --> 00:08:45,593
But I have a simple method for
shutting down troublemakers.
236
00:08:45,594 --> 00:08:48,763
You know that '98 Taurus
that's always parked outside?
237
00:08:48,764 --> 00:08:50,898
The one with the really annoying alarm?
238
00:08:50,899 --> 00:09:00,307
(both mimicking long, complex
car alarm blaring)
239
00:09:00,308 --> 00:09:02,343
We're familiar with it.
240
00:09:02,344 --> 00:09:05,312
Well, when a kid like Johnny
acts up in my class...
241
00:09:05,313 --> 00:09:06,847
(kids laughing and shouting playfully)
242
00:09:06,848 --> 00:09:15,856
(mimicking long, complex
car alarm blaring)
243
00:09:17,025 --> 00:09:19,159
- Shuts them right up.
TED: - Lily,
244
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,495
my students are adults,
and I treat them that way.
245
00:09:21,496 --> 00:09:24,197
I'll just give them more candy
and make them a mix CD.
246
00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:25,766
Problem solved.
247
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,768
Oh, baby, what's wrong?
248
00:09:28,637 --> 00:09:31,339
Something bad happened.
249
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:34,242
(knocking)
Randy, hey, have you seen the...
250
00:09:34,243 --> 00:09:35,643
Before you get to that,
251
00:09:35,644 --> 00:09:37,912
regarding the earlier project
I was working on...
252
00:09:37,913 --> 00:09:39,347
Voilà!
253
00:09:39,348 --> 00:09:40,782
That's the Hermanson contract?
254
00:09:40,783 --> 00:09:42,350
The Hermanson contract?
255
00:09:42,351 --> 00:09:44,986
Oh, man, this is the Filbert contract.
256
00:09:44,987 --> 00:09:47,389
- Damn it!
- No...
257
00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:49,691
Anyway, what's your thing?
258
00:09:49,692 --> 00:09:51,426
I need the Filbert contract!
259
00:09:51,427 --> 00:09:53,595
No!!
260
00:09:55,364 --> 00:09:57,833
Well, I'll do what I can.
261
00:09:57,834 --> 00:10:02,138
But in my experience, twice
shredded is fairly permanent.
262
00:10:02,139 --> 00:10:05,576
Sorry, Randy, but...
263
00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:07,644
this just isn't working out.
264
00:10:07,645 --> 00:10:10,581
- Marshall popped his cherry!
(popping) - Oh!
265
00:10:10,582 --> 00:10:13,751
Come on, Marshall, you have to
admit, the guy was a disaster.
266
00:10:13,752 --> 00:10:16,154
I mean, it reflected badly on the company.
267
00:10:16,155 --> 00:10:18,523
He was an embarrassment.
268
00:10:18,524 --> 00:10:19,891
A huge embarrassment.
269
00:10:19,892 --> 00:10:22,394
(pounds table)
You slept with Randy!
270
00:10:22,395 --> 00:10:23,562
What?!
271
00:10:23,563 --> 00:10:26,431
Why, it's elementary, my dear Scherbatson.
272
00:10:26,432 --> 00:10:29,134
LILY:
Your co-host is getting super-popular
273
00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,003
because of her stupid commercial,
274
00:10:31,004 --> 00:10:32,471
"Boats! Boats! Boats!"
275
00:10:32,472 --> 00:10:35,374
So, when you arrived at the GNB
party after we left,
276
00:10:35,375 --> 00:10:38,510
you were feeling vulnerable and drunk.
277
00:10:38,511 --> 00:10:42,414
Then, from across the
not-so-crowded conference room,
278
00:10:42,415 --> 00:10:44,450
your eyes met.
279
00:10:48,888 --> 00:10:50,689
And as we all remember...
280
00:10:50,690 --> 00:10:52,057
Randy has a unique condition.
281
00:10:52,058 --> 00:10:55,428
Yeah, your nose is bleeding like a faucet.
282
00:10:55,429 --> 00:10:58,131
Oh, God, this happens
every time I get an erection.
283
00:10:58,132 --> 00:10:59,465
I am so sorry.
284
00:11:02,436 --> 00:11:03,770
That's...
285
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:07,308
exactly what happened.
286
00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:08,309
BARNEY: See, Marshall,
287
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:10,577
if getting fired is an execution,
288
00:11:10,578 --> 00:11:12,947
at least the guy had a last meal.
289
00:11:12,948 --> 00:11:14,115
I promise you,
290
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:15,950
tomorrow you'll feel a lot better.
291
00:11:17,486 --> 00:11:19,720
Randy, hey, what's going on?
292
00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:22,188
I just wanted to say no hard feelings.
293
00:11:22,189 --> 00:11:24,224
(sighs) Thank you.
294
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,192
So where you headed now?
295
00:11:29,029 --> 00:11:30,796
Downtown.
296
00:11:33,967 --> 00:11:35,501
No!!
297
00:11:35,502 --> 00:11:36,569
(gasps)
298
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,404
It's okay, baby.
299
00:11:38,405 --> 00:11:39,840
It wasn't okay.
300
00:11:39,841 --> 00:11:41,141
So the next morning...
301
00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:43,577
Arthur, I'm here because I made a mistake.
302
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,012
I fired Randy yesterday.
303
00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:46,080
That was a mistake.
304
00:11:46,081 --> 00:11:47,749
You should have fired him a year ago.
305
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:50,686
No, sir, that is what's
wrong with this company.
306
00:11:50,687 --> 00:11:52,788
How can we say "GNB Cares",
307
00:11:52,789 --> 00:11:55,424
and then turn around
and treat someone like that?
308
00:11:55,425 --> 00:11:57,092
I mean, sure, he made a few mistakes,
309
00:11:57,093 --> 00:11:58,427
but everybody makes mistakes.
310
00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:00,629
Like, like Tugboat here.
311
00:12:00,630 --> 00:12:03,132
Aw. I bet you he's made some mistakes.
312
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:05,667
And you didn't fire Tugboat, did you?
313
00:12:05,668 --> 00:12:08,103
No, I got him fixed, and he calmed down.
314
00:12:08,104 --> 00:12:10,172
Exactly... Kind of.
315
00:12:10,173 --> 00:12:11,641
Randy doesn't need to be fired.
316
00:12:11,642 --> 00:12:13,242
He needs to be fixed.
317
00:12:13,243 --> 00:12:16,546
Marshall, we do some pretty bad
things around here, but I...
318
00:12:16,547 --> 00:12:18,815
No, sir, I'm saying instead
of getting rid of someone
319
00:12:18,816 --> 00:12:22,019
when they screw up, we should...
we should help them.
320
00:12:22,787 --> 00:12:24,888
We should nurture them.
321
00:12:24,889 --> 00:12:26,357
Oh...
322
00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:31,296
I changed the ice pack on his crotch
323
00:12:31,297 --> 00:12:33,064
every hour for three days.
324
00:12:33,065 --> 00:12:39,303
Wow, Eriksen, if you want to
un-fire Randy, I support you,
325
00:12:39,304 --> 00:12:41,604
because to come in here
and say what you just said,
326
00:12:41,605 --> 00:12:44,040
well, you've got a couple
things that Tugboat doesn't.
327
00:12:45,175 --> 00:12:47,843
(angry shouting)
328
00:12:47,844 --> 00:12:51,447
Guys, Prof Rock is a really good mix, okay?
329
00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:53,749
A piece of New York history
is being torn down,
330
00:12:53,750 --> 00:12:57,086
and all you could say
was "Boo freakin' hoo"?
331
00:12:57,087 --> 00:12:58,188
Boo... freakin'...
332
00:12:58,189 --> 00:13:00,057
I may have mentioned our conversation
333
00:13:00,058 --> 00:13:01,892
over a session of hacky sack.
334
00:13:01,893 --> 00:13:03,861
The one day I miss the sack circle,
335
00:13:03,862 --> 00:13:05,763
you guys sub her in?
336
00:13:05,764 --> 00:13:06,964
Why'd you miss?
337
00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:09,334
Too busy tearing down
the Statue of Liberty?
338
00:13:09,335 --> 00:13:14,440
No. I was returning a hot dog
costume that you all enjoyed.
339
00:13:14,441 --> 00:13:15,440
(angry shouting)
340
00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:18,110
They were all turning against me,
341
00:13:18,111 --> 00:13:20,111
so I figured, what the hell.
342
00:13:20,112 --> 00:13:22,280
(shouting continues)
343
00:13:24,950 --> 00:13:34,225
(mimicking long, complex
car alarm blaring)
344
00:13:34,226 --> 00:13:35,193
And did it work?
345
00:13:35,194 --> 00:13:36,327
Like gangbusters.
346
00:13:36,328 --> 00:13:37,262
We're buddies again.
347
00:13:37,263 --> 00:13:38,964
After class, we hacked a little sack
348
00:13:38,965 --> 00:13:41,100
to the thumpin' strains of my Prof Rock CD.
349
00:13:41,101 --> 00:13:43,436
And no, none of them had
heard the Pixies B-side.
350
00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:45,739
Actually, none of them
had heard of the Pixies.
351
00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:47,007
Or a B-side.
352
00:13:47,008 --> 00:13:48,776
Hey, guys.
353
00:13:48,777 --> 00:13:50,344
Uh-oh. I know that smile.
354
00:13:50,345 --> 00:13:52,480
Lily, there's no easy way to say this.
355
00:13:52,481 --> 00:13:53,715
Marshall's dead.
356
00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:55,283
Randy murdered him.
357
00:13:55,284 --> 00:13:58,086
No. I know why Randy is smiling.
358
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,555
You're smiling because of Robin.
359
00:14:00,556 --> 00:14:03,659
Robin? Like how I think about
her when I'm in the shower?
360
00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:05,127
I'm trying to eat here, buddy.
361
00:14:05,128 --> 00:14:08,397
No. Because you slept
with her on Halloween.
362
00:14:08,398 --> 00:14:10,298
What? No.
363
00:14:10,299 --> 00:14:13,668
I went home, had a shower
an... and went to bed.
364
00:14:13,669 --> 00:14:14,736
You didn't sleep with her?
365
00:14:14,737 --> 00:14:16,271
No.
366
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,472
Even in the shower,
367
00:14:17,473 --> 00:14:19,307
the farthest we ever get is hugging.
368
00:14:19,308 --> 00:14:21,843
So why are you smiling?
369
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:23,378
I'll tell you why.
370
00:14:23,379 --> 00:14:25,648
This just isn't working out.
371
00:14:25,649 --> 00:14:28,383
RANDY: I'm fired. Great.
372
00:14:28,384 --> 00:14:32,221
This is the candle kiosk
at the mall all over again.
373
00:14:32,222 --> 00:14:33,589
Wait a minute.
374
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:35,658
I can get a severance check.
375
00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:37,561
If I don't shred it,
376
00:14:37,562 --> 00:14:40,631
I can use that money to start
my own brewery.
377
00:14:40,632 --> 00:14:43,234
Imagine a beer with my name on it.
378
00:14:43,235 --> 00:14:47,305
Randy Wharmpiss, this is
the best day of your life.
379
00:14:48,909 --> 00:14:50,776
Thanks to that severance check,
380
00:14:50,777 --> 00:14:52,945
this time next year, you'll all be enjoying
381
00:14:52,946 --> 00:14:54,647
a frothy mug of Wharmpiss.
382
00:14:54,648 --> 00:14:56,615
MARSHALL: Randy, great news!
383
00:14:56,616 --> 00:14:58,083
You're not fired!
384
00:15:00,554 --> 00:15:05,357
(Wailing) No...!
385
00:15:05,358 --> 00:15:08,727
Good morning, everybody...
386
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,566
Where's my class?
387
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:16,034
(Angry shouting)
388
00:15:16,035 --> 00:15:17,436
Hello, Professor.
389
00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,573
Ha-boom.
390
00:15:23,588 --> 00:15:25,481
I got you your job back, Randy.
391
00:15:25,581 --> 00:15:27,014
I thought that you'd be happy.
392
00:15:27,015 --> 00:15:28,515
But I don't belong here.
393
00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:31,351
I'm born to be a brewer!
A... a hopsmeister!
394
00:15:31,352 --> 00:15:33,453
Well, then quit. No one's stopping you.
395
00:15:33,454 --> 00:15:35,621
I... I can't. I need my severance check.
396
00:15:35,622 --> 00:15:38,024
Well, I'm sorry Randy,
but that's called fraud.
397
00:15:38,025 --> 00:15:39,458
It's not fraud.
398
00:15:39,459 --> 00:15:40,826
I'm just asking you to get me
399
00:15:40,827 --> 00:15:42,194
a lot of money to not work here
400
00:15:42,195 --> 00:15:43,595
and not tell anyone about it.
401
00:15:43,596 --> 00:15:46,097
Even if I wanted to fire you,
after my talk with Arthur...
402
00:15:46,098 --> 00:15:48,600
Oh, come on, Arthur can't remember that.
403
00:15:48,601 --> 00:15:51,169
Marshall, what a memorable
talk we had yesterday.
404
00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:55,607
Randy, on behalf of everyone at
GNB, both in and out of prison,
405
00:15:55,608 --> 00:15:57,142
we're sorry.
406
00:15:57,143 --> 00:15:58,610
And I want to assure you
407
00:15:58,611 --> 00:16:00,078
you will never be fired again.
408
00:16:00,079 --> 00:16:02,514
You're going to work
here until you die, huh?
409
00:16:02,515 --> 00:16:03,515
Huh?
410
00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:04,916
Green tie?
411
00:16:04,917 --> 00:16:06,218
(clears throat)
412
00:16:06,219 --> 00:16:07,653
Nice choice.
413
00:16:07,654 --> 00:16:09,354
Thanks. It brings out my eyes.
414
00:16:09,355 --> 00:16:11,857
Yeah. I'll bring out your eyes.
415
00:16:13,359 --> 00:16:14,626
Listen, Randy, I'm sorry,
416
00:16:14,627 --> 00:16:16,394
but I broke my own moral code once
417
00:16:16,395 --> 00:16:18,029
and I felt evil.
418
00:16:18,030 --> 00:16:19,797
I will not let GNB change me.
419
00:16:19,798 --> 00:16:23,900
I will never fire anyone again ever.
420
00:16:23,901 --> 00:16:25,736
Oh, we'll see about that.
421
00:16:30,275 --> 00:16:31,241
Anyhoo, while I got you...
422
00:16:31,242 --> 00:16:32,709
Big smile.
423
00:16:32,710 --> 00:16:34,845
"We care about making dreams come true,"
424
00:16:34,846 --> 00:16:36,280
in three, two...
425
00:16:36,281 --> 00:16:38,082
No!
426
00:16:38,083 --> 00:16:39,150
What are you doing?
427
00:16:39,151 --> 00:16:41,652
Oh, are you unhappy with my performance?
428
00:16:41,653 --> 00:16:43,954
Well, I guess I'm fired, then.
I'd better turn in my I.D.
429
00:16:43,955 --> 00:16:46,957
No, it's actually, um, nice
430
00:16:46,958 --> 00:16:48,760
having some of this clutter off my desk.
431
00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:50,227
So thank you, Randy.
432
00:16:54,767 --> 00:16:56,935
And there's more.
433
00:16:58,205 --> 00:17:00,206
I don't know what
I'm going to use this for,
434
00:17:00,207 --> 00:17:01,307
but it's great stuff.
435
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:02,742
Now am I fired?
436
00:17:04,010 --> 00:17:07,647
I've been meaning to clean out
that file cabinet for ages.
437
00:17:07,648 --> 00:17:08,915
I'm not even here.
438
00:17:08,916 --> 00:17:10,484
Randy, the coffee.
439
00:17:11,085 --> 00:17:12,953
Oh! Okay.
440
00:17:12,954 --> 00:17:14,622
Okay.
441
00:17:15,357 --> 00:17:17,057
Thank you, Randy.
442
00:17:17,058 --> 00:17:19,394
I've been meaning to cut back
on my caffeine.
443
00:17:19,395 --> 00:17:21,596
Here, try this, but really go for it.
444
00:17:21,597 --> 00:17:23,265
Remember, this guy ruined your life.
445
00:17:29,706 --> 00:17:32,207
That's just the pick-me-up I needed.
446
00:17:33,276 --> 00:17:36,745
Speaking of pickups, can we try
the first one again?
447
00:17:36,746 --> 00:17:39,181
(phone ringing)
448
00:17:39,182 --> 00:17:40,181
Hello.
449
00:17:40,182 --> 00:17:41,583
It didn't work. They hate me.
450
00:17:41,584 --> 00:17:43,651
How do I get them to like me again?
451
00:17:43,652 --> 00:17:44,785
You don't.
452
00:17:44,786 --> 00:17:46,320
Ted, you're their teacher.
453
00:17:46,321 --> 00:17:48,389
The only people that like their teachers...
454
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:49,423
I like my teachers.
455
00:17:49,424 --> 00:17:51,024
Are dorks.
456
00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:52,626
Except for you, Miles.
457
00:17:55,264 --> 00:17:57,933
Ted, you just have to learn
to embrace their hatred.
458
00:17:57,934 --> 00:18:00,603
Because behind that hatred lies fear.
459
00:18:00,604 --> 00:18:01,704
And you can use
460
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,841
use that fear,
like I did with Johnny Marley.
461
00:18:04,842 --> 00:18:06,309
Was there more to that story?
462
00:18:06,310 --> 00:18:08,411
A little bit.
463
00:18:20,756 --> 00:18:25,994
(sustained screaming)
464
00:18:25,995 --> 00:18:28,829
Lily, you're a psychopath.
465
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:30,031
A little bit.
466
00:18:30,032 --> 00:18:32,600
Oh, a panda!
467
00:18:34,870 --> 00:18:36,837
I thought about Lily's advice.
468
00:18:36,838 --> 00:18:40,942
And I figured fear was worth a try.
469
00:18:40,943 --> 00:18:42,877
Well, Professor Mosby,
470
00:18:42,878 --> 00:18:44,479
is there anything you want to say to us?
471
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:48,884
Anyone not in class tomorrow gets an "F."
472
00:18:51,555 --> 00:18:53,355
You said that?
473
00:18:53,356 --> 00:18:55,024
Well, technically,
they'd get an incomplete,
474
00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:57,627
but I thought "F" had a nice,
scary ring to it.
475
00:18:57,628 --> 00:18:58,695
- Right?
- Yeah.
476
00:18:58,696 --> 00:18:59,896
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
477
00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:01,097
Robin, who'd you sleep with?
478
00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:02,766
I told you... Randy.
479
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,568
He was a machine.
480
00:19:04,569 --> 00:19:06,937
Where's the poop, Robin?
481
00:19:06,938 --> 00:19:08,071
(sighs)
482
00:19:08,072 --> 00:19:10,907
Fine. I didn't sleep with anyone.
483
00:19:10,908 --> 00:19:13,242
The thing is, ever since
Becky did that commercial,
484
00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:15,077
everyone at work loves her.
485
00:19:15,078 --> 00:19:18,180
So, the day after Halloween,
I was in a commercial.
486
00:19:18,181 --> 00:19:20,215
What... Why didn't you tell us?
487
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,818
ANNOUNCER:
Bladder trouble... it's embarrassing,
488
00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:27,021
it's uncomfortable,
and it can affect anyone.
489
00:19:27,022 --> 00:19:29,757
I'm going to the bathroom right now.
490
00:19:29,758 --> 00:19:32,026
Neat and discreet adult diapers
491
00:19:32,027 --> 00:19:33,294
for anyone.
492
00:19:33,295 --> 00:19:34,496
Say...
493
00:19:34,497 --> 00:19:37,333
"Ah..."
494
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,505
(laughing)
(Ted laughing)
495
00:19:42,506 --> 00:19:45,876
Wow! I can't wait to see it.
496
00:19:45,877 --> 00:19:47,044
Well, hopefully you never will.
497
00:19:47,045 --> 00:19:49,045
They said that they might not even use it.
498
00:19:49,046 --> 00:19:50,513
TED: It ran for seven years.
499
00:19:53,050 --> 00:19:54,584
Okay, you win.
500
00:19:54,585 --> 00:19:57,687
Maybe trashing your office was a mistake.
501
00:19:57,688 --> 00:20:00,824
It's just, uh, as long as I can remember,
502
00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:03,126
making beer has been my dream.
503
00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:06,162
Wharmpiss?
504
00:20:07,798 --> 00:20:10,066
I know it sounds dumb
505
00:20:10,067 --> 00:20:12,836
to someone who's already
achieved his dream...
506
00:20:12,837 --> 00:20:14,805
big-time lawyer at a huge corporation.
507
00:20:14,806 --> 00:20:17,208
You think working here is my dream?
508
00:20:17,209 --> 00:20:18,409
Of course.
509
00:20:19,244 --> 00:20:21,913
Anyways, I'll clean this stuff up.
510
00:20:21,914 --> 00:20:24,549
Have someone get that dead
squirrel out of your desk.
511
00:20:26,886 --> 00:20:28,620
Randy.
512
00:20:29,888 --> 00:20:31,956
This is delicious.
513
00:20:33,225 --> 00:20:35,526
You're fired.
514
00:20:37,228 --> 00:20:38,595
Kids, the next morning...
515
00:20:38,596 --> 00:20:43,765
my class had the highest attendance ever.
516
00:20:43,766 --> 00:20:45,767
And not long after that,
517
00:20:45,768 --> 00:20:48,337
Randy used his severance money
to start a little brewery.
518
00:20:48,338 --> 00:20:52,607
Now you can have a Wharmpiss
at every bar in America.
519
00:20:52,608 --> 00:20:53,642
And all because...
520
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:57,412
I care about making dreams come true.
521
00:20:57,413 --> 00:20:59,581
You got what you need?
522
00:20:59,582 --> 00:21:01,549
BARNEY: Yep. That's a wrap.
523
00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:04,920
Sync, corrected by elderman...
... for www.addic7ed.com...
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