1
00:00:02,964 --> 00:00:04,201
I do not want to come across
2
00:00:04,329 --> 00:00:06,289
as the disgruntled
daughter-in-law.
3
00:00:06,514 --> 00:00:08,298
But I don't think that
what we are experiencing
4
00:00:08,402 --> 00:00:10,498
is the usual disruption.
5
00:00:10,979 --> 00:00:13,522
We are truly concerned
for Sunil's well-being.
6
00:00:16,970 --> 00:00:18,283
We brought him
over from Calcutta
7
00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:20,962
shortly after my mother passed.
8
00:00:21,235 --> 00:00:22,818
Julia mentioned that she felt
9
00:00:22,882 --> 00:00:25,753
that your grandchildren
were afraid of you.
10
00:00:25,994 --> 00:00:28,497
Do you think there's any
truth in that assertion?
11
00:00:31,146 --> 00:00:32,090
What did he say?
12
00:00:32,714 --> 00:00:34,275
He said she's
afraid of herself.
13
00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:40,850
I would like to help you
in any way that I can.
14
00:00:41,059 --> 00:00:42,530
Perhaps you could
write me a prescription
15
00:00:42,618 --> 00:00:45,490
that would allow me
to return to India,
16
00:00:46,713 --> 00:00:48,202
where my wife would be alive.
17
00:00:56,155 --> 00:00:58,423
That's what I did, Kate.
18
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,425
It's not...
19
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:02,661
It's not a bloody penitentiary.
20
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,865
I happen to be lucky enough
21
00:01:06,899 --> 00:01:11,103
To live near
a half-decent school.
22
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:14,873
No, not just half-decent...
23
00:01:14,907 --> 00:01:17,709
Sought-after.
24
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,214
Mm-hmm, but, Kate,
25
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:25,350
He doesn't want to go
to private school.
26
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:32,057
I'll tell you why.
Because I'm his father.
27
00:01:32,091 --> 00:01:35,060
Okay, Kate I've got to go.
28
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:38,530
I've got a patient
waiting for me...
29
00:01:38,564 --> 00:01:40,565
A patient, okay?
30
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:43,802
I'll call you back.
I don't know.
31
00:01:48,841 --> 00:01:50,842
Mr. Sanyal.
32
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:53,245
I thought patients
belonged in the hospital.
33
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,480
You heard me?
34
00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,982
I could not help.
35
00:01:57,016 --> 00:02:00,452
- Was I that loud?
- Perhaps a little.
36
00:02:00,486 --> 00:02:02,621
Well, technically
you are my patient,
37
00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:06,691
But I'll try to refrain
from that particular term
38
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:09,294
If it makes you feel
more comfortable.
39
00:02:09,328 --> 00:02:11,763
Shall we?
40
00:02:11,797 --> 00:02:14,332
Yes. Oh.
41
00:02:30,463 --> 00:02:33,681
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:02:39,892 --> 00:02:41,860
Did this happen on the train?
43
00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:44,062
I have to travel
only three stops,
44
00:02:44,096 --> 00:02:46,631
But I guess this is
what happens in America.
45
00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:48,633
You're okay?
46
00:02:48,668 --> 00:02:50,769
I'll survive,
Dr. Weston.
47
00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:53,238
It is only mountain dew.
48
00:02:53,272 --> 00:02:55,307
And did these kids...
did they...
49
00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:57,609
Did they apologize to you?
50
00:02:57,643 --> 00:03:01,379
I do not think they noticed.
51
00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:03,381
That's a lot of soda
not to notice.
52
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:06,551
Did you say anything to them?
53
00:03:06,586 --> 00:03:08,553
What good that would do?
54
00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:10,855
Besides, they cannot
hear anyway.
55
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,191
They are all wearing
little headphones.
56
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:14,960
You're very forgiving.
57
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:21,466
I'm sorry
about your train ride.
58
00:03:21,500 --> 00:03:24,836
Well, I'm glad
that you're here.
59
00:03:26,272 --> 00:03:28,506
Can I ask you how...
60
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,575
How things are at home?
61
00:03:30,610 --> 00:03:32,844
They begged me
to take a shower.
62
00:03:32,878 --> 00:03:35,046
Your son and
your daughter-in-law?
63
00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,849
All four of them knocked
on my door this morning.
64
00:03:37,883 --> 00:03:39,818
They made Naya ask me.
65
00:03:39,852 --> 00:03:42,721
She says, "grandpa,
please take a shower."
66
00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:44,723
So how did that
make you feel...
67
00:03:44,757 --> 00:03:48,393
Being asked to bathe
by your granddaughter?
68
00:03:48,427 --> 00:03:51,997
I must admit I was starting
to smell like a goat.
69
00:03:56,902 --> 00:03:58,703
So they got
your notebook as well?
70
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,106
Yeah, I was using it
on the train, so...
71
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:03,041
It's not so wet.
72
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:09,047
- Is that kamala... your wife?
- Yeah.
73
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,616
May I?
74
00:04:17,723 --> 00:04:19,891
She's beautiful.
75
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,697
Is... was this
on your wedding day?
76
00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:28,300
Just after the ceremony.
77
00:04:29,568 --> 00:04:31,469
Are you...
78
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,538
Are you okay,
Mr. Sanyal?
79
00:04:33,572 --> 00:04:34,806
I am only tired.
80
00:04:34,840 --> 00:04:36,808
Recently I have not been
sleeping so well.
81
00:04:36,842 --> 00:04:39,311
I wake with...
82
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:42,547
With... with an ache.
83
00:04:42,581 --> 00:04:44,749
What kind of ache?
84
00:04:44,784 --> 00:04:46,985
I suppose it is this ailment
85
00:04:47,019 --> 00:04:49,888
That my son hopes
you will relieve me of.
86
00:04:49,922 --> 00:04:53,291
You and I will speak
and my pain will heal
87
00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:55,260
Like a fractured bone.
88
00:04:55,294 --> 00:04:58,096
I wish it was
that simple.
89
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:01,199
If it's any comfort to you,
90
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:05,603
I agree with what you said
at our last session.
91
00:05:05,638 --> 00:05:08,973
I don't think that
grief has any schedule.
92
00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:11,009
And I have no desire
93
00:05:11,043 --> 00:05:15,046
To speed up
your grieving process.
94
00:05:31,263 --> 00:05:32,697
You are not married?
95
00:05:32,732 --> 00:05:34,432
What makes you ask that?
96
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,201
Last time when I asked,
you said,
97
00:05:36,235 --> 00:05:38,203
"no, I don't have
a wife."
98
00:05:38,237 --> 00:05:39,971
That's true.
Yes, I did.
99
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:43,775
Are we playing a logic game?
100
00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:47,946
You are also a widower then?
101
00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,551
Forgive me.
102
00:05:53,586 --> 00:05:55,587
You know, where I'm from,
103
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,890
When we want to talk,
104
00:05:58,924 --> 00:06:00,925
We meet a friend for tea.
105
00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,395
And then one person speaks
and then the other.
106
00:06:03,429 --> 00:06:05,730
It is very strange
to be expected
107
00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:08,867
To do all the talking
continuously, you know.
108
00:06:08,901 --> 00:06:12,137
I understand, but...
but this is...
109
00:06:12,171 --> 00:06:14,172
This is what therapy is.
110
00:06:14,206 --> 00:06:16,374
It's... it's... it's...
111
00:06:16,409 --> 00:06:18,710
Well, it's not exactly the same
112
00:06:18,744 --> 00:06:20,512
As meeting a friend for tea.
113
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:24,315
You said last week we could
simply have a conversation.
114
00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:25,784
That's true.
I did say that.
115
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,786
And during the conversation
116
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:31,589
You scarcely said a word.
117
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:35,093
I am expected to disclose
the details of my life,
118
00:06:35,127 --> 00:06:37,529
To speak about my wife,
119
00:06:37,563 --> 00:06:39,497
About my pain, about...
120
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:41,599
Or share her photograph
or, you know...
121
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:47,071
I did have a wife.
122
00:06:47,106 --> 00:06:49,641
But...
123
00:06:49,675 --> 00:06:51,609
We're divorced now.
124
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,815
How long
21 years. Were you married?
125
00:07:00,119 --> 00:07:01,786
Do you miss her?
126
00:07:01,821 --> 00:07:03,788
Sometimes I...
127
00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:09,494
Yes, I do.
128
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:15,900
In Hinduism, when...
129
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,770
When the wife dies
before the husband,
130
00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:21,072
Before she is cremated,
131
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:24,642
She is dressed in her
red bridal clothes.
132
00:07:24,677 --> 00:07:27,078
And now when I see
her wedding photo
133
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:30,548
I think of her funeral.
134
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,355
She used to tease me
135
00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:40,358
That in our wedding photo
I look like
136
00:07:40,392 --> 00:07:42,427
I'm entering into a pool
137
00:07:42,461 --> 00:07:45,730
Containing a giant octopus.
138
00:07:47,766 --> 00:07:49,968
We were both still very young.
139
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,003
And like most
brahmin marriages,
140
00:07:52,037 --> 00:07:53,872
It was arranged.
141
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,107
I'd just graduated
from the university.
142
00:07:56,141 --> 00:07:59,444
She and her family
came over to our home.
143
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,513
There was
a short interview
144
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:04,182
Which lasted perhaps two hours.
145
00:08:04,216 --> 00:08:06,584
And our parents decided
146
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:10,088
That we were to be married
shortly after that.
147
00:08:11,590 --> 00:08:13,992
This was going to be my future.
148
00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:15,994
And when your future
walks into the room
149
00:08:16,028 --> 00:08:18,596
And sits beside you
on the carpet,
150
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:22,066
It could be, you know,
151
00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:24,969
Quite disconcerting.
152
00:08:28,641 --> 00:08:31,009
These things work
differently in America.
153
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:34,546
Yes, they are different, yes.
154
00:08:34,580 --> 00:08:38,049
But whether they work
is another question.
155
00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:40,018
In some ways
156
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:43,588
An arranged marriage seems
like it might be simpler.
157
00:08:43,622 --> 00:08:47,058
I would say for us it was fine.
158
00:08:47,092 --> 00:08:49,460
Only... only fine?
159
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:51,763
Fine... fine is good.
160
00:08:52,731 --> 00:08:54,699
Yeah, perhaps...
161
00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:58,002
Perhaps she was
my closest friend.
162
00:08:58,037 --> 00:09:00,038
How often do you find yourself
163
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:02,740
Thinking about kamala?
164
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:07,045
Many many times each day.
165
00:09:07,079 --> 00:09:10,048
I often think of her
when I see Julia.
166
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:12,617
So...
167
00:09:12,651 --> 00:09:14,619
So when you see Julia,
168
00:09:14,653 --> 00:09:17,155
You're reminded of...
of your wife?
169
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:19,157
Of the differences
between them.
170
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:23,595
It's...
it's impossible not to.
171
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,132
Look, kamala would not
have approved
172
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:30,535
Of the way Julia is
raising our grandchildren.
173
00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:32,904
What do you mean?
Why wouldn't she approve?
174
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:35,773
She might think
that they're spoiled,
175
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:37,742
That there's too little
discipline.
176
00:09:37,776 --> 00:09:40,378
She might think the minute
they don't get what they want
177
00:09:40,412 --> 00:09:43,881
They scream,
they throw tantrums.
178
00:09:43,916 --> 00:09:45,917
And do you think that's true?
179
00:09:45,951 --> 00:09:48,186
Our son was raised
differently.
180
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,154
Kamala taught him
181
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:52,156
Good manners, humility,
182
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,092
Because it was
important to her.
183
00:09:54,126 --> 00:09:56,094
And it sounds like
it's important to you.
184
00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:58,229
Would you say that's true?
185
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,171
Can I ask you
186
00:10:07,206 --> 00:10:09,807
What else is in your notebook?
187
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:13,578
Many things.
188
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:15,613
Sometimes
189
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:18,082
I write to kamala too.
190
00:10:18,117 --> 00:10:20,618
- In your notebook?
- Yeah, very simple things.
191
00:10:20,653 --> 00:10:22,720
- Yes, like what?
- Like...
192
00:10:22,755 --> 00:10:24,689
Like "hello,
193
00:10:24,723 --> 00:10:26,658
Good morning, good night,"
194
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,926
Or "the sun is very hot today,"
195
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,795
Or "the birds are
too loud for sleeping."
196
00:10:30,829 --> 00:10:32,697
- Yes.
- Things like this.
197
00:10:32,731 --> 00:10:35,400
Have you ever written to her
about your grandchildren?
198
00:10:35,434 --> 00:10:37,435
I tell her that she would be
199
00:10:37,469 --> 00:10:40,104
Quite fond of them.
200
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:42,974
Do you share your concerns
with kamala
201
00:10:43,008 --> 00:10:45,810
About how Julia
202
00:10:45,844 --> 00:10:48,780
Is raising your grandchildren?
203
00:10:48,814 --> 00:10:51,416
So can I smoke?
204
00:10:51,450 --> 00:10:54,218
Yeah, sure.
You can smoke, yes.
205
00:10:59,591 --> 00:11:01,793
Dr. Weston,
please call me Sunil.
206
00:11:01,827 --> 00:11:04,529
Okay.
207
00:11:04,563 --> 00:11:06,831
And you must call me Paul.
208
00:11:06,865 --> 00:11:09,734
Mm-hmm, Paul.
209
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:14,072
You know what happened
this morning?
210
00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:17,975
A plumber came
to fix my shower,
211
00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:21,112
So I had to use
Arun and Julia's bathroom.
212
00:11:21,146 --> 00:11:23,681
As I was coming out
of the shower...
213
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:27,418
Julia came in.
214
00:11:28,654 --> 00:11:32,423
I had the towel wrapped
around my waist.
215
00:11:32,458 --> 00:11:34,792
She entered
just as I was putting
216
00:11:34,827 --> 00:11:36,627
A small piece of soap in a dish
217
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,996
On top of the toilet tank...
218
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:40,998
A little purple soap goose
219
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:44,802
That smelled of lavender.
220
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,472
She was preparing
to take the shower too.
221
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:49,607
So she was also in her towel?
222
00:11:49,641 --> 00:11:52,910
She very quickly covered
herself with her towel, yes.
223
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,415
She froze.
224
00:12:00,486 --> 00:12:02,854
She obviously forgot
about the plumber.
225
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,322
And what happened?
226
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:06,190
I said, "excuse me"
227
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,926
And then went up to my room
to get dressed.
228
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:12,597
10 minutes later
she knocked on my door.
229
00:12:12,631 --> 00:12:14,365
What did she say?
230
00:12:14,399 --> 00:12:16,067
She became very angry.
231
00:12:16,101 --> 00:12:18,402
She spoke to me
as if I'm a child...
232
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:20,371
Because of soap.
233
00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:22,640
Well, she'd just been
confronted by the fact
234
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:24,675
That you're not a child at all.
235
00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,677
She may have been covering
for other feelings
236
00:12:26,712 --> 00:12:29,881
That she had from
seeing you in this way.
237
00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,783
What feelings?
238
00:12:31,817 --> 00:12:33,785
My daughter-in-law
is not
239
00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,820
A modest woman, I assure you.
240
00:12:35,854 --> 00:12:39,056
She still showers with Sam
even though he's nearly six.
241
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:42,059
For her it's perfectly
appropriate.
242
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:43,361
But not to you.
243
00:12:43,395 --> 00:12:45,563
You are the expert.
Please tell me.
244
00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,399
Where was your son
when all of this happened?
245
00:12:48,433 --> 00:12:50,468
He had already left for work.
246
00:12:50,502 --> 00:12:53,070
Sunil, when Julia
was here last week,
247
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:55,540
She mentioned feeling
248
00:12:55,574 --> 00:12:58,810
Uncomfortable at times
249
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:01,946
Because of the way
that you look at her.
250
00:13:01,980 --> 00:13:04,615
Would you say
that this encounter
251
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,584
In the bathroom
252
00:13:06,618 --> 00:13:08,986
Might have been
one of those moments?
253
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:12,323
We were both
in our towels, Paul.
254
00:13:12,357 --> 00:13:14,959
And I said,
"excuse me."
255
00:13:14,993 --> 00:13:16,928
And I went out.
256
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:21,165
Yes, I understand that.
What I'm asking is...
257
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,203
Can you say a bit more
about how you felt
258
00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:27,738
When your daughter-in-law
surprised you?
259
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:29,874
I would say I felt surprised.
260
00:13:29,908 --> 00:13:33,211
Yes, but what else?
261
00:13:33,245 --> 00:13:35,179
I said to myself,
262
00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,181
"see, here's your
daughter-in-law,
263
00:13:37,216 --> 00:13:40,218
And she is wearing
a towel."
264
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:46,791
I don't understand
the rules of this house.
265
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:51,596
My son and Julia are
very different people.
266
00:13:51,630 --> 00:13:53,564
I used to believe
267
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:56,100
That these differences were
what drew him to her,
268
00:13:56,134 --> 00:13:58,402
Beyond her yellow shining hair.
269
00:13:58,437 --> 00:13:59,770
And you don't think
that anymore?
270
00:13:59,805 --> 00:14:02,540
Now the differences are
less and less.
271
00:14:02,574 --> 00:14:04,609
He has become more like her,
272
00:14:04,643 --> 00:14:07,111
As if under a spell.
273
00:14:07,145 --> 00:14:10,414
I wonder how he feels not being
274
00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:12,884
The master of his own house.
275
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:15,820
That's how you see...
you see Arun?
276
00:14:15,854 --> 00:14:18,789
He prepares her cappuccino
for her every morning,
277
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:21,359
And precisely
as she wishes too...
278
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:24,262
With just the right amount
of steamed skim milk
279
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:27,398
And one cube
of organic brown sugar.
280
00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:30,134
He puts the dishes away
in the cupboard,
281
00:14:30,168 --> 00:14:32,136
Gives the children
their evening bath
282
00:14:32,170 --> 00:14:34,438
So that she can read
in her study.
283
00:14:34,473 --> 00:14:37,141
Maybe your son enjoys
these activities...
284
00:14:37,175 --> 00:14:40,211
That he makes Julia her
cappuccino in the morning
285
00:14:40,245 --> 00:14:42,680
And puts the dishes away
because...
286
00:14:42,714 --> 00:14:45,349
Because he wants to.
287
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:47,718
I'm not...
288
00:14:47,753 --> 00:14:50,187
I'm not for a moment
dismissing your concerns.
289
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:53,624
I think you have very
legitimate concerns.
290
00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:55,426
But I do think
it's possible
291
00:14:55,460 --> 00:14:59,196
They may be yours
more than his.
292
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:03,434
You're dealing with
very real frustrations,
293
00:15:03,468 --> 00:15:06,671
Yet most of your complaints
294
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:08,472
Your son must be unhappy;
295
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:11,208
Your grandchildren's upbringing
would disappoint kamala;
296
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,277
Kamala would disapprove
of Julia.
297
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:15,579
I guess I'm beginning to wonder
298
00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:17,615
If you have trouble voicing
299
00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,850
Grievances of your own.
300
00:15:19,885 --> 00:15:21,852
The fact of the matter is
that you're the one
301
00:15:21,887 --> 00:15:23,854
Who feels stuck
in your son's house,
302
00:15:23,889 --> 00:15:27,158
Who's been cloistered away
upstairs with the kids.
303
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,160
They knocked on your door
this morning
304
00:15:29,194 --> 00:15:31,929
To make a collective request
about your hygiene.
305
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:34,966
Julia polices the way you handle
the objects in her bathroom.
306
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,501
You don't have the power to
smoke where or when you want.
307
00:15:37,536 --> 00:15:39,470
You have a right to be angry.
308
00:15:39,504 --> 00:15:41,472
And it's becoming clear to me
309
00:15:41,506 --> 00:15:45,309
That on some level you are.
310
00:15:46,945 --> 00:15:48,913
So I'm just thinking
it might be helpful
311
00:15:48,947 --> 00:15:51,816
To everybody,
but mostly for you
312
00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:54,518
If you could begin
to express that anger
313
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:58,856
More directly,
try to put it into...
314
00:15:58,890 --> 00:16:01,392
Try to put it into words.
315
00:16:01,426 --> 00:16:03,728
I'm beginning to regret
316
00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:06,230
That I requested you
to speak more.
317
00:16:06,264 --> 00:16:08,232
This is not
quite what I'd meant
318
00:16:08,266 --> 00:16:10,201
By balanced conversation.
319
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:12,803
I know. You'd rather
meet a friend for tea.
320
00:16:12,838 --> 00:16:15,773
Tea is terrible in New York.
321
00:16:15,807 --> 00:16:17,775
- You disagree?
- Oh no, I don't.
322
00:16:17,809 --> 00:16:19,477
You're Irish.
You must enjoy tea.
323
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,045
Yes, I do.
324
00:16:21,079 --> 00:16:23,614
So maybe you can tell me what
is wrong with Americans.
325
00:16:23,648 --> 00:16:25,649
In India we drink hot tea.
326
00:16:25,684 --> 00:16:29,720
Here it is often
no warmer than dishwater.
327
00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:32,690
That's true.
328
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:34,425
See?
329
00:16:34,459 --> 00:16:37,061
There, I was expressing
my frustration.
330
00:16:39,197 --> 00:16:40,998
How did I do?
331
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:44,702
It's a good start.
332
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:53,978
See, there was one occasion
333
00:16:54,012 --> 00:16:57,715
When I spoke openly to Arun,
334
00:16:57,749 --> 00:17:00,251
When I presented
my displeasure.
335
00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:01,852
And when was that?
336
00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:05,823
Many years ago, when he and
Julia were first engaged.
337
00:17:05,857 --> 00:17:07,958
We had never met Julia.
338
00:17:07,993 --> 00:17:11,962
So they came to Calcutta
to tell us the good news.
339
00:17:11,997 --> 00:17:14,065
You didn't see it that way?
340
00:17:14,099 --> 00:17:16,567
At first I did.
Arun seemed so happy,
341
00:17:16,601 --> 00:17:19,070
Like a small child
handed a special dessert,
342
00:17:19,104 --> 00:17:21,272
Barely able to breathe.
343
00:17:21,306 --> 00:17:23,707
I must admit I was pleased
344
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:26,143
For arun to receive
so much attention,
345
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,913
Much more than
we were used to seeing...
346
00:17:28,947 --> 00:17:32,683
Like holding hands,
sitting very close.
347
00:17:32,717 --> 00:17:37,955
She... she even curled his
hair behind his ear, eh?
348
00:17:37,989 --> 00:17:39,890
In our presence.
349
00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,692
I thought kamala
was going to faint.
350
00:17:41,726 --> 00:17:44,195
And how did things go
between kamala and Julia?
351
00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:45,996
- Very bad.
- Mm-hmm.
352
00:17:46,031 --> 00:17:48,666
Toward the end of dinner Julia
expressed her disappointment
353
00:17:48,700 --> 00:17:51,068
That we would not allow
her to stay at our home.
354
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,437
So where was she staying?
355
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,340
In a hotel.
356
00:17:56,374 --> 00:17:58,776
And where was arun?
357
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:01,245
He stayed with us,
in his old room.
358
00:18:01,279 --> 00:18:03,247
You must understand
359
00:18:03,281 --> 00:18:05,249
It's not acceptable
360
00:18:05,283 --> 00:18:07,251
For a couple to sleep
361
00:18:07,285 --> 00:18:10,321
In the House of the parents
before they are married.
362
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:13,124
So during dinner it was clear
363
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:17,061
She wanted arun to discuss
these matters with us.
364
00:18:17,095 --> 00:18:21,665
So when arun could not
bring himself to do it,
365
00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:24,001
She proceeded to do so herself.
366
00:18:24,035 --> 00:18:26,837
She said they had traveled
such a far distance
367
00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:28,839
And they are very tired
368
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:30,975
And they wished
not to be separated.
369
00:18:31,009 --> 00:18:33,410
Arun was so embarrassed,
370
00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,514
He could not even look
at his mother and me.
371
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:39,416
How did you and your wife
respond to that?
372
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:43,654
After arun left to escort
Julia back to her hotel,
373
00:18:43,688 --> 00:18:45,756
Kamala was so angry,
374
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:50,361
She could not speak
for more than one hour.
375
00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:52,897
Then she pleaded with me
to speak to arun.
376
00:18:52,931 --> 00:18:55,499
So the next night, I sat
in the kitchen with arun
377
00:18:55,534 --> 00:18:57,501
And asked him whether he...
378
00:18:57,536 --> 00:19:00,738
Whether he was sure about
his decision to marry.
379
00:19:00,772 --> 00:19:03,407
What did he say?
380
00:19:03,441 --> 00:19:05,376
He lashed out at me.
381
00:19:05,410 --> 00:19:09,280
He said we did not
approve of Julia
382
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:11,415
Because... because
she's not Bengali.
383
00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:14,118
And he said I could not
relate to his life
384
00:19:14,152 --> 00:19:16,153
And I married a woman
I did not love
385
00:19:16,188 --> 00:19:19,657
And I... I chose duty
over passion
386
00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,659
And... and...
387
00:19:21,693 --> 00:19:24,862
And I'm jealous.
388
00:19:24,896 --> 00:19:27,598
So they cut their visit
short by three days
389
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:30,501
And left to America
the following morning.
390
00:19:30,535 --> 00:19:33,571
So do you think there was any
truth in what arun said?
391
00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:36,407
That I do not know passion?
392
00:19:36,441 --> 00:19:38,676
He also said
that you were jealous.
393
00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:44,582
Perhaps I did not marry
394
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:47,751
For the same reasons as my son,
395
00:19:47,786 --> 00:19:50,054
But I came to love my wife.
396
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:53,557
Did you ever wish for
something more in life?
397
00:19:55,627 --> 00:19:58,529
Do you wish for something more?
398
00:20:06,871 --> 00:20:08,806
After that,
399
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,242
Things were different
with arun.
400
00:20:11,276 --> 00:20:13,844
When Samuel was born
we came to New York,
401
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:16,614
And again after Naya.
402
00:20:16,648 --> 00:20:20,517
But it was never the same.
403
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,520
Did arun ever come back
to Calcutta to visit?
404
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:25,489
Only once,
405
00:20:25,523 --> 00:20:27,825
When his mother was
in serious decline,
406
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:30,894
Just two days
before she passed.
407
00:20:30,929 --> 00:20:34,331
That must have been
another difficult visit.
408
00:20:39,704 --> 00:20:43,440
What were you just thinking?
409
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:50,014
On this same visit my son
made his promise to kamala.
410
00:20:50,048 --> 00:20:52,816
That he would bring you
back to New York.
411
00:20:52,851 --> 00:20:56,287
Yes, she told him that I was not
capable of living on my own
412
00:20:56,321 --> 00:20:59,757
And he must take care
of me always.
413
00:21:01,493 --> 00:21:03,827
These were the last words
she spoke.
414
00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:06,563
And so here you are.
415
00:21:08,933 --> 00:21:11,502
Here I am.
416
00:21:11,536 --> 00:21:14,838
Do you wish you had stayed
in Calcutta?
417
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:19,543
See, it is the way
we do things, Paul...
418
00:21:19,577 --> 00:21:22,946
The children care
for their parents.
419
00:21:22,981 --> 00:21:24,682
Do you think about going back?
420
00:21:24,716 --> 00:21:26,617
It's not possible.
421
00:21:26,651 --> 00:21:27,785
Why not?
422
00:21:27,819 --> 00:21:29,720
I have no money, Paul.
423
00:21:29,754 --> 00:21:34,024
Although I should have,
but I do not.
424
00:21:34,059 --> 00:21:36,026
Can I ask you why not?
425
00:21:36,061 --> 00:21:38,629
See, much of my earnings
went toward paying
426
00:21:38,663 --> 00:21:41,432
For Arun's American education.
427
00:21:41,466 --> 00:21:44,702
And what was left was spent
428
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:48,138
On kamala's medical bills.
429
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:50,941
So...
430
00:21:50,975 --> 00:21:52,976
There is nothing to be done.
431
00:21:53,011 --> 00:21:55,713
You seem resigned.
432
00:21:58,983 --> 00:22:00,951
Have you and your son
ever discussed
433
00:22:00,985 --> 00:22:02,986
The fight that you had
on that first visit?
434
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:05,089
We have never spoken of it...
435
00:22:05,123 --> 00:22:06,990
Never.
436
00:22:13,765 --> 00:22:16,166
I'm...
437
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:20,170
I'm afraid
our time is up, sunil.
438
00:22:22,507 --> 00:22:24,575
Oh, I'm supposed to leave?
439
00:22:24,609 --> 00:22:26,543
I have another patient,
440
00:22:26,578 --> 00:22:28,846
But we can pick up here
the next week.
441
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,615
Okay okay.
442
00:22:32,884 --> 00:22:35,319
If I'm going to walk,
443
00:22:35,353 --> 00:22:39,189
How do I get to prospect park?
444
00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:40,958
Prospect park?
That's easy.
445
00:22:40,992 --> 00:22:42,926
You go out, you turn left,
446
00:22:42,961 --> 00:22:44,928
Pass the coffee shop
on the corner,
447
00:22:44,963 --> 00:22:46,930
Across the main drag.
Once you...
448
00:22:46,965 --> 00:22:48,665
I'll find it.
I'll find it.
449
00:22:48,700 --> 00:22:50,501
No problem.
450
00:22:50,535 --> 00:22:52,369
Okay.
451
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,571
No problem.
452
00:22:54,606 --> 00:22:58,475
Uh, you're not going to
take the train?
453
00:23:00,044 --> 00:23:02,146
No train.
454
00:23:03,314 --> 00:23:05,249
Sunil, those kids...
455
00:23:05,283 --> 00:23:07,418
You know, they're not
on every train.
456
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,819
I know.
457
00:23:08,853 --> 00:23:10,687
Well, the exercise
will be good for me.
458
00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:13,023
So you know where you're going?
Just turn left on Atlantic and...
459
00:23:13,057 --> 00:23:15,159
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
460
00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:54,434
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