1
00:00:03,155 --> 00:00:05,354
Mike, I really have to go home.
2
00:00:05,355 --> 00:00:06,660
Are you sure you can't stay
a little bit longer?
3
00:00:06,867 --> 00:00:08,384
I've been here for
almost two days.
4
00:00:08,385 --> 00:00:10,136
I don't have any
clean clothes to wear.
5
00:00:10,137 --> 00:00:11,971
I don't know
how they got dirty.
6
00:00:11,972 --> 00:00:13,339
We hardly used them.
7
00:00:14,475 --> 00:00:17,360
Well, I also have a big
stack of book reports
8
00:00:17,361 --> 00:00:18,528
To read for tomorrow.
9
00:00:18,529 --> 00:00:20,046
They're fourth graders.
10
00:00:20,047 --> 00:00:22,615
Just give 'em all b's.
They'll be thrilled.
11
00:00:22,616 --> 00:00:25,051
Except for maybe the Asian kids.
12
00:00:25,052 --> 00:00:27,186
Sure-- I let 'em
slide through the system,
13
00:00:27,187 --> 00:00:29,622
They turn to a life of crime,
and you arrest them.
14
00:00:29,623 --> 00:00:30,790
For you, it's win-win.
15
00:00:30,791 --> 00:00:34,377
Golly, I wish I was
one of your students.
16
00:00:34,378 --> 00:00:36,095
I'd sit right up front
17
00:00:36,096 --> 00:00:38,498
And look in those beautiful
green eyes all day long.
18
00:00:38,499 --> 00:00:40,767
You look really pretty
today, miss Flynn.
19
00:00:40,768 --> 00:00:44,170
Why, Michael Biggs,
I believe you're a kiss-ass.
20
00:00:44,171 --> 00:00:48,007
Well, that's definitely
where I'd start.
21
00:00:48,008 --> 00:00:51,611
All right, one of us
has got to be strong
22
00:00:51,612 --> 00:00:53,379
And it's clearly
not you,
23
00:00:53,380 --> 00:00:54,514
So I'm going home.
24
00:00:54,515 --> 00:00:56,649
All right,
let me grab my keys.
25
00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:59,118
Thank you for a lovely weekend.
26
00:00:59,119 --> 00:01:00,620
It was nice, wasn't it?
27
00:01:00,621 --> 00:01:03,489
Strolling hand in hand
through Lincoln park,
28
00:01:03,490 --> 00:01:05,491
And buying kettle-corn
at the farmer's market.
29
00:01:05,492 --> 00:01:08,461
Good luck getting that
out of your sheets.
30
00:01:08,462 --> 00:01:11,297
Well, a lot of it
was already there.
31
00:01:11,298 --> 00:01:14,100
You know, I think
my favorite
32
00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:17,236
Part of this weekend was
waking up in the morning,
33
00:01:17,237 --> 00:01:19,072
Seeing you laying next to me
34
00:01:19,073 --> 00:01:21,407
All cuddled up
in a cute little ball,
35
00:01:21,408 --> 00:01:23,376
Snuggling under my arm,
36
00:01:23,377 --> 00:01:25,945
One of your tiny feet
popping out under the covers.
37
00:01:25,946 --> 00:01:27,914
I mean, the other
stuff was great,
38
00:01:27,915 --> 00:01:31,284
But that's the memory that
I'll be keeping right here.
39
00:01:31,285 --> 00:01:34,420
You son of a bitch.
40
00:01:36,190 --> 00:01:39,258
One more time, and then
you are driving me home.
41
00:01:42,646 --> 00:01:47,266
Yes, miss Flynn.
Whatever you say.
42
00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:52,138
♪ for the first time
in my life ♪
43
00:01:52,139 --> 00:01:55,291
♪ I see love. ♪
44
00:01:55,292 --> 00:02:01,292
-- Sync by Rafael UPD --
www.addic7ed.com/
45
00:02:07,975 --> 00:02:09,242
I'll call you tomorrow.
46
00:02:09,243 --> 00:02:11,277
You don't want
to talk later tonight?
Mike.
47
00:02:11,278 --> 00:02:12,512
All right, good night.
48
00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:14,147
First thing
in the morning!
49
00:02:14,148 --> 00:02:15,181
Bye!
50
00:02:15,182 --> 00:02:16,549
Bye!
51
00:02:18,719 --> 00:02:20,186
For god's sake,
quit dancing.
52
00:02:20,187 --> 00:02:23,056
My neighbors don't need
to know you scored.
53
00:02:23,057 --> 00:02:24,991
Okay, you heard
her, neighbors--
54
00:02:24,992 --> 00:02:27,126
I scored!
55
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:33,900
What?
56
00:02:33,901 --> 00:02:36,820
You dirty little whore.
57
00:02:38,439 --> 00:02:41,374
Details-- must have details.
58
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:42,675
And skip the foreplay.
59
00:02:42,676 --> 00:02:44,844
I don't want to know
how the sausage was made--
60
00:02:44,845 --> 00:02:47,347
I just want to know
how it was served.
61
00:02:50,384 --> 00:02:53,219
Well, he's a great guy,
62
00:02:53,220 --> 00:02:56,523
And we had
a very nice time.
63
00:03:02,129 --> 00:03:03,296
You finally free willy
64
00:03:03,297 --> 00:03:06,065
And all we get is
"great guy, nice time""
65
00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:07,650
Come on, moll, spill it.
66
00:03:07,651 --> 00:03:09,369
I always tell you
every dirty detail.
67
00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:12,138
But against my will.
There's a big difference.
68
00:03:12,139 --> 00:03:15,909
Come on, tater tot.
69
00:03:15,910 --> 00:03:18,111
Just a couple of highlights
for mom and sis.
70
00:03:18,112 --> 00:03:19,679
No. I don't feel comfortable
71
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,214
Talking about
that kind of stuff.
72
00:03:21,215 --> 00:03:22,649
What is the point
in getting laid
73
00:03:22,650 --> 00:03:26,052
If you can't talk about
it with your family.
74
00:03:26,053 --> 00:03:29,889
Yeah. We're not asking
for blow-by-blow--
uh-uh.
75
00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:31,791
Just a little girl talk.
76
00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:34,327
Well, like what?
77
00:03:34,328 --> 00:03:36,829
Well, for instance,
78
00:03:36,830 --> 00:03:39,098
Was he tender with you?
79
00:03:40,301 --> 00:03:44,070
Yes, he was-- very...
Very tender.
80
00:03:44,071 --> 00:03:46,539
Not so tender as
to be fruity, right?
81
00:03:48,309 --> 00:03:50,643
No.
82
00:03:50,644 --> 00:03:53,846
It was pretty amazing.
83
00:03:53,847 --> 00:03:56,249
He was-- he was
kind of nervous,
84
00:03:56,250 --> 00:03:58,685
But very sweet,
and attentive.
85
00:03:58,686 --> 00:03:59,886
Attentive! Huh?
86
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:01,521
So you're saying
he licked the stamp
87
00:04:01,522 --> 00:04:03,523
Before he mailed the letter.
88
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:06,259
What? No.
89
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:08,294
I'm just saying
he was very loving
90
00:04:08,295 --> 00:04:09,629
And very giving.
91
00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:12,365
Oh, lord... He didn't camp
down there, did he?
92
00:04:13,801 --> 00:04:15,234
'cause after awhile, that's like
93
00:04:15,235 --> 00:04:17,704
Trying to light
a wet book of matches.
94
00:04:19,039 --> 00:04:21,341
That's why I keep a little
spray bottle on my nightstand.
95
00:04:21,342 --> 00:04:22,742
What a great idea.
96
00:04:22,743 --> 00:04:25,311
Like trying to get
a cat off the couch.
Mmm-hmm.
97
00:04:25,312 --> 00:04:28,848
Well, this was fun.
98
00:04:32,937 --> 00:04:35,488
Carlton, you going
to answer the door?
99
00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:37,690
I just got out
of the shower.
100
00:04:37,691 --> 00:04:39,258
Just got out?
101
00:04:39,259 --> 00:04:41,894
You've been in there
for 25 minutes.
102
00:04:41,895 --> 00:04:43,930
If that boy ever
gets a girlfriend,
103
00:04:43,931 --> 00:04:46,282
My water bill
will be cut in half.
104
00:04:48,335 --> 00:04:49,602
Nana!
105
00:04:49,603 --> 00:04:50,903
Hey, Michael!
106
00:04:50,904 --> 00:04:53,456
What brings you here
on a Sunday evening?
107
00:04:53,457 --> 00:04:54,507
Oh, nothing.
108
00:04:54,508 --> 00:04:56,109
I just wanted to
come by and say hi.
109
00:04:56,110 --> 00:04:57,076
Well, come on in, baby.
110
00:04:57,077 --> 00:04:59,762
Carlton, you
got company!
111
00:04:59,763 --> 00:05:01,097
Who is it?
112
00:05:01,098 --> 00:05:02,581
Get your narrow
ass down here
113
00:05:02,582 --> 00:05:04,517
And find out.
114
00:05:04,518 --> 00:05:07,887
He sat behind the Broussard
twins at church today
115
00:05:07,888 --> 00:05:10,490
And he's been in the shower
ever since.
116
00:05:11,425 --> 00:05:13,359
Can I get you
a little something to eat?
117
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:14,594
No, thanks.
I'm not hungry.
118
00:05:14,595 --> 00:05:16,929
Yeah? And I'm not old,
black and Christian.
119
00:05:16,930 --> 00:05:18,998
How about
a piece of pie?
120
00:05:18,999 --> 00:05:20,800
No, I'm fine.
121
00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:23,002
In fact,
I'm perfectly content.
122
00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,203
Oh, my!
123
00:05:24,204 --> 00:05:26,489
It sounds like
somebody was baptized
124
00:05:26,490 --> 00:05:29,308
In the river of
good, good lovin'.
125
00:05:31,645 --> 00:05:33,946
Well, molly and I are
getting kind of serious.
126
00:05:33,947 --> 00:05:36,215
We actually spent
the entire weekend together.
127
00:05:36,216 --> 00:05:39,419
Oh. And you still floating on
that cloud of passion, ain't ya?
128
00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:42,588
You kidding? I almost moonwalked
into some trashcans.
129
00:05:43,891 --> 00:05:46,059
This is a magical time
in a relationship.
130
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:47,927
You know,
I believe it's god's way
131
00:05:47,928 --> 00:05:49,929
Of giving us
a little peek at heaven.
132
00:05:49,930 --> 00:05:51,030
You think so?
133
00:05:51,031 --> 00:05:52,482
Well, if he didn't want us
134
00:05:52,483 --> 00:05:53,599
To copulate every night,
135
00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,134
Then he wouldn't have
picked a peter
136
00:05:55,135 --> 00:05:57,303
To guard the pearly gates.
137
00:05:57,304 --> 00:05:59,105
I'm telling you,
138
00:05:59,106 --> 00:06:00,940
I just want to
run through the streets,
139
00:06:00,941 --> 00:06:03,476
Screaming her name
and hugging homeless people.
140
00:06:03,477 --> 00:06:05,845
Michael, you need
to let her know that,
141
00:06:05,846 --> 00:06:06,863
'cause that little girl
142
00:06:06,864 --> 00:06:08,881
Is feeling very vulnerable
right now.
143
00:06:08,882 --> 00:06:10,850
Really?
Of course she is.
144
00:06:10,851 --> 00:06:13,453
She's just given you
her most precious gift,
145
00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,788
And she needs to know
that you appreciate that.
146
00:06:15,789 --> 00:06:17,056
Oh, I do!
She almost had
147
00:06:17,057 --> 00:06:19,726
To turn the hose on me
to get me off her porch.
148
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,028
Hey. What's going on?
149
00:06:22,029 --> 00:06:23,996
Michael just had
a lovely weekend
150
00:06:23,997 --> 00:06:25,364
With his lady friend.
151
00:06:25,365 --> 00:06:28,067
All right! You and molly
finally did the nasty?
152
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:30,069
"did the nasty..."
153
00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,070
Listen to you!
154
00:06:31,071 --> 00:06:32,238
That's probably why
155
00:06:32,239 --> 00:06:33,906
The last woman you brought
into this house
156
00:06:33,907 --> 00:06:36,142
Came with an air pump
and a patch kit.
157
00:06:37,611 --> 00:06:38,694
Grandma, I told you
158
00:06:38,695 --> 00:06:40,780
That was a gag gift
from the guys at work.
159
00:06:40,781 --> 00:06:42,715
Wasn't no gag
when I heard it pop
160
00:06:42,716 --> 00:06:44,484
At 3:00 in the morning.
161
00:06:47,521 --> 00:06:49,555
Thought it was a drive-by.
162
00:06:51,658 --> 00:06:52,691
Now, Michael,
163
00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,727
Don't allow
too much time to pass
164
00:06:54,728 --> 00:06:57,363
Before you let her know
how much she means to you.
165
00:06:57,364 --> 00:06:59,799
Maybe I could get her
a nice gift.
166
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:01,934
Hey, I could sign her up for
the fruit-of-the-month club.
167
00:07:01,935 --> 00:07:05,571
Well, say it with cantaloupes
and plums if you have to.
168
00:07:05,572 --> 00:07:08,141
The important thing is
to reach out
169
00:07:08,142 --> 00:07:10,710
And let her know
she's in your heart.
170
00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:12,311
That's good.
I'll do that.
171
00:07:12,312 --> 00:07:14,046
I completely
disagree.
172
00:07:14,047 --> 00:07:15,782
What you need to do
is pull back.
173
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:17,016
Keep the woman guessing.
174
00:07:17,017 --> 00:07:18,518
Be smooth and aloof.
175
00:07:18,519 --> 00:07:20,353
Hush up, goofy grape!
176
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:26,409
This is real people
talking about real things.
177
00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:27,560
Grandma, this is
my best friend,
178
00:07:27,561 --> 00:07:28,628
And I think I may
have some advice
179
00:07:28,629 --> 00:07:30,496
He could actually
benefit from.
180
00:07:30,497 --> 00:07:33,666
Fine. I'll let you two talk,
man to man.
181
00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:34,867
Thank you,
grandma.
182
00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:37,403
But, Michael,
if you take one word of advice
183
00:07:37,404 --> 00:07:39,172
That comes out
of his jelly-bean head,
184
00:07:39,173 --> 00:07:41,741
You and I got a problem.
185
00:07:41,742 --> 00:07:44,877
Goes without saying, nana.
186
00:07:51,351 --> 00:07:53,586
"goofy grape."
187
00:07:58,091 --> 00:07:59,725
Morning.
188
00:07:59,726 --> 00:08:01,861
Hey, is your sister up yet?
189
00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:03,162
She's going
to be late for work.
190
00:08:03,163 --> 00:08:04,163
Oh, no, she's awake.
191
00:08:04,164 --> 00:08:06,766
I heard her singing
in the shower.
192
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:09,335
I'm so happy for her.
193
00:08:09,336 --> 00:08:13,072
Nothing cures the crankies
like a trip to the boneyard.
194
00:08:13,073 --> 00:08:15,875
Well, if I go for more
than one week without it,
195
00:08:15,876 --> 00:08:17,109
I'm a total bitch.
196
00:08:17,110 --> 00:08:19,778
Which explains
your sunny disposition.
197
00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:21,914
God.
198
00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:24,717
I remember when
your daddy was in Vietnam.
199
00:08:24,718 --> 00:08:27,520
I'd get so horny, I'd fill
the dryer with tennis shoes,
200
00:08:27,521 --> 00:08:29,722
And sit on it.
201
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:35,027
Damn, that war
tore this country apart.
202
00:08:35,028 --> 00:08:37,513
Morning.
203
00:08:37,514 --> 00:08:39,515
Morning.
Morning,
sweetheart!
204
00:08:39,516 --> 00:08:41,667
You want some
breakfast?
205
00:08:41,668 --> 00:08:43,436
No. I got to
get to school.
206
00:08:43,437 --> 00:08:45,304
Oh. You meeting
your lover after work?
207
00:08:45,305 --> 00:08:48,374
No. And please don't refer
to mike as my "lover."
208
00:08:48,375 --> 00:08:51,043
How 'bout
your "boink buddy"?
209
00:08:51,044 --> 00:08:52,879
How 'bout "mike"?
210
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:55,882
You know, I used to call
your father my "pud-bud."
211
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:58,551
I know, mom.
The walls were thin.
212
00:09:00,037 --> 00:09:02,121
Hey, mike.
213
00:09:02,122 --> 00:09:04,824
I'm fine.
214
00:09:04,825 --> 00:09:06,592
It was... It was very nice.
215
00:09:06,593 --> 00:09:08,961
I enjoyed myself, too.
216
00:09:08,962 --> 00:09:10,997
Look, I, uh...
I got to get to work.
217
00:09:10,998 --> 00:09:12,331
Can I call you later?
218
00:09:12,332 --> 00:09:15,134
Okay. I will.
219
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:16,936
Bye-bye.
220
00:09:16,937 --> 00:09:18,604
Wow.
221
00:09:18,605 --> 00:09:21,407
You didn't give the guy much,
did you, princess?
222
00:09:21,408 --> 00:09:22,975
What are you talking about?
223
00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:25,411
You were kind
of cold, molly.
224
00:09:25,412 --> 00:09:26,812
Well, what do you want from me?
225
00:09:26,813 --> 00:09:28,180
I'm trying to take it slow.
226
00:09:28,181 --> 00:09:29,815
Otherwise, I'll do
what I always do with men.
227
00:09:29,816 --> 00:09:31,784
I'll end up
sending them mushy poems
228
00:09:31,785 --> 00:09:33,852
And buying them stupid gifts.
229
00:09:35,489 --> 00:09:37,373
"hey, little pussy cat.
230
00:09:37,374 --> 00:09:39,792
I think you're purr-fect."
231
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:41,427
I like the sentiment.
232
00:09:41,428 --> 00:09:44,463
But I don't think
it quite captures
233
00:09:44,464 --> 00:09:45,564
All that's in my heart.
234
00:09:45,565 --> 00:09:47,300
You know,
how-how happy I am,
235
00:09:47,301 --> 00:09:48,701
How lucky I feel
236
00:09:48,702 --> 00:09:51,804
To have such a smart, funny,
and beautiful woman in my life.
237
00:09:51,805 --> 00:09:53,039
How 'bout a stuffed dog?
238
00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:55,241
Bull's-eye.
239
00:10:08,949 --> 00:10:10,666
Hey, do you know
how much longer
240
00:10:10,667 --> 00:10:11,734
This class is going on?
241
00:10:11,735 --> 00:10:14,036
Are you here
to arrest miss Flynn?
242
00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:16,172
no, not at all.
243
00:10:16,173 --> 00:10:18,641
Crap.
244
00:10:18,642 --> 00:10:19,925
Well actually,
if you must know,
245
00:10:19,926 --> 00:10:22,011
I'm her boyfriend.
246
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:23,646
Really?
247
00:10:25,415 --> 00:10:27,916
Well, we haven't exactly
used those words--
248
00:10:27,917 --> 00:10:29,452
Boyfriend and girlfriend--
249
00:10:29,453 --> 00:10:31,554
But this weekend
was pretty special for us,
250
00:10:31,555 --> 00:10:34,223
So I'm just assuming
that's our current status.
251
00:10:34,224 --> 00:10:36,225
It's your life, man.
252
00:10:36,226 --> 00:10:37,960
What's the matter?
253
00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:39,495
You don't like miss Flynn?
254
00:10:39,496 --> 00:10:42,498
She's mean.
Well, that's not
the miss Flynn I know at all.
255
00:10:42,499 --> 00:10:45,401
I find her to be a very loving
and patient woman.
256
00:10:45,402 --> 00:10:47,837
So why am I sitting
in the hallway?
257
00:10:49,172 --> 00:10:51,657
Mike, what-what
are you doing here?
258
00:10:51,658 --> 00:10:54,110
I just wanted
to come by and say hi.
259
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,761
Hi.
260
00:10:55,762 --> 00:10:57,163
Hi.
261
00:10:57,164 --> 00:10:59,014
And this is
for you.
Oh.
262
00:10:59,015 --> 00:11:01,384
It's really sweet,
but I can't talk right now.
263
00:11:01,385 --> 00:11:04,887
I got a classroom full of kids
trying to figure out Moby dick.
264
00:11:05,789 --> 00:11:07,022
It's not any funnier now
265
00:11:07,023 --> 00:11:08,758
Than it was 20 minutes ago.
266
00:11:09,993 --> 00:11:12,528
Look, I'm sorry for
the surprise attack.
267
00:11:12,529 --> 00:11:15,398
I guess I foolishly thought
it would be charming.
268
00:11:15,399 --> 00:11:18,967
It's not without its charm,
but this isn't a good time.
269
00:11:18,968 --> 00:11:20,403
I understand.
270
00:11:20,404 --> 00:11:22,938
I-I just wanted to let you know
that I was thinking about you.
271
00:11:22,939 --> 00:11:23,989
Well, thanks.
272
00:11:23,990 --> 00:11:26,158
But I can't take this
in there now.
273
00:11:26,159 --> 00:11:27,710
They see me as human,
274
00:11:27,711 --> 00:11:30,646
They'll rip me apart
with their dirty little fingers.
275
00:11:30,647 --> 00:11:32,198
No, I understand.
276
00:11:32,199 --> 00:11:35,418
I got quite a few snickers
myself, and I'm carrying a gun.
277
00:11:35,419 --> 00:11:36,752
look,
278
00:11:36,753 --> 00:11:38,854
Just forget I was here,
and go about your business,
279
00:11:38,855 --> 00:11:40,172
And I'll get out of your hair.
280
00:11:40,173 --> 00:11:42,124
Mike, you're not in my hair.
It's just...
281
00:11:42,125 --> 00:11:43,859
I probably should
go back in there.
282
00:11:43,860 --> 00:11:45,094
I'll call you later.
283
00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,801
I don't think she gets it.
284
00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:54,570
Moby dick?
285
00:11:55,388 --> 00:11:57,640
Yeah, it's a thinker.
286
00:12:00,444 --> 00:12:02,311
Oh, man, what possessed you?
287
00:12:02,312 --> 00:12:04,146
I know, Carl. I'm an idiot.
288
00:12:04,147 --> 00:12:06,749
You can't be giving a lady
these cheap-ass carnival prizes.
289
00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,083
She made love to you.
290
00:12:08,084 --> 00:12:10,619
She didn't knock down
milk bottles with a baseball.
291
00:12:10,620 --> 00:12:14,056
In my defense, it looked
a lot sexier in the store.
292
00:12:14,057 --> 00:12:15,724
That's because
you were on a nookie-high.
293
00:12:15,725 --> 00:12:18,327
You should never buy gifts,
or pick out a new swimsuit
294
00:12:18,328 --> 00:12:20,196
When you're flying
on a nookie-high.
295
00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:21,931
Is that the orange speedo?
296
00:12:21,932 --> 00:12:25,868
Yeah, I ain't got the marbles
to pull that off.
297
00:12:25,869 --> 00:12:27,937
Well, I believe
it is a mistake
298
00:12:27,938 --> 00:12:30,673
To reward a woman
for giving you sex.
299
00:12:30,674 --> 00:12:31,974
It sets a bad precedent.
300
00:12:31,975 --> 00:12:35,211
You must look at yourself
as the gift.
301
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:36,479
Damn right.
302
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,047
We got it all wrong
in this country.
303
00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:40,483
Women should be buying us stuff,
telling us how pretty we are.
304
00:12:40,484 --> 00:12:43,402
And we are pretty.
305
00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:47,356
The point is, you shouldn't
be buying a lady trinkets
306
00:12:47,357 --> 00:12:48,791
Every time she throws you one.
307
00:12:48,792 --> 00:12:51,226
Look, fellas, I may have been
a little overzealous
308
00:12:51,227 --> 00:12:53,863
In expressing my appreciation
to molly,
309
00:12:53,864 --> 00:12:56,465
But I think I still have
a pretty good handle
310
00:12:56,466 --> 00:12:58,284
On what it is
a woman wants,
311
00:12:58,285 --> 00:12:59,935
Because of the
three of us,
312
00:12:59,936 --> 00:13:02,371
I'm the only one a woman wants.
313
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,275
Enjoy your day.
314
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:09,311
You forgot
your stuffed dog.
315
00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:18,270
This does not make
what I just said
316
00:13:18,271 --> 00:13:20,623
Any less powerful
or any less true.
317
00:13:25,428 --> 00:13:27,630
Hi. My name is molly,
and I'm an overeater.
318
00:13:27,631 --> 00:13:29,565
Hi, molly.
319
00:13:29,566 --> 00:13:31,300
I had a pretty good week.
320
00:13:31,301 --> 00:13:32,902
I actually lost three pounds.
321
00:13:32,903 --> 00:13:35,070
yeah.
322
00:13:35,071 --> 00:13:36,906
Apparently, having a man
in your life
323
00:13:36,907 --> 00:13:39,241
Provides certain
aerobic benefits.
324
00:13:40,410 --> 00:13:42,778
Seriously, though,
I'm very happy.
325
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:45,280
So happy I'm scared to death.
326
00:13:45,281 --> 00:13:48,050
The truth is, I don't want
to be here right now.
327
00:13:48,051 --> 00:13:49,768
I... I want to be with him.
328
00:13:49,769 --> 00:13:52,271
In fact, I want to be
with him all the time.
329
00:13:52,272 --> 00:13:55,758
But that's how I deal
with everything that I like.
330
00:13:55,759 --> 00:13:57,259
I-I overdo it.
331
00:13:57,260 --> 00:14:00,346
It's like when I eat cake,
you know, I can't have a piece.
332
00:14:00,347 --> 00:14:02,297
I've got to eat
the whole damn thing,
333
00:14:02,298 --> 00:14:04,266
And then lick the frosting
off the beater.
334
00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:05,968
And with a man, I got to...
335
00:14:05,969 --> 00:14:07,903
Well-well...
336
00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,824
Never mind.
337
00:14:11,825 --> 00:14:14,193
But you-you get
what I'm talking about.
338
00:14:14,194 --> 00:14:17,379
Otherwise, this would
be called the moderation club.
339
00:14:18,548 --> 00:14:21,216
But I'm-I'm gonna be strong,
340
00:14:21,217 --> 00:14:24,687
And I'm-I'm not gonna let myself
get carried away,
341
00:14:24,688 --> 00:14:26,055
Like I always do.
342
00:14:26,056 --> 00:14:28,207
I'm just gonna have
a little piece
343
00:14:28,208 --> 00:14:31,894
Every once in a while,
and hopefully,
344
00:14:31,895 --> 00:14:34,563
This cake will be around
a really long time.
345
00:14:35,765 --> 00:14:37,099
Thank you for listening,
346
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:40,569
And I'm sorry I got us all
thinking about cake.
347
00:14:43,273 --> 00:14:46,408
How you liking your old mom's
famous tuna noodle casserole?
348
00:14:46,409 --> 00:14:47,893
It's good, mom.
349
00:14:47,894 --> 00:14:50,679
Well, it was better yesterday,
but you never showed up,
350
00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:53,816
So the potato chips lost
a certain amount of snap.
351
00:14:53,817 --> 00:14:55,067
No, it's fine.
352
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:57,920
I guess some things keep,
and some things don't.
353
00:14:57,921 --> 00:15:00,205
Delicious one day,
and the next morning,
354
00:15:00,206 --> 00:15:03,359
It's just dry, milky tuna
stuck to a crusty pan.
355
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,128
So how's your
little girlfriend?
356
00:15:07,731 --> 00:15:09,264
Good.
357
00:15:09,265 --> 00:15:10,966
How come you're not
with her tonight?
358
00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:13,002
'cause I'm here
with you.
Well,
359
00:15:13,003 --> 00:15:14,637
Ain't I the lucky one.
360
00:15:14,638 --> 00:15:18,741
So, taking separate vacations
already, huh?
361
00:15:18,742 --> 00:15:21,543
No, we just agreed to
an evening to ourselves.
362
00:15:21,544 --> 00:15:23,929
I see. I just pray
it's not a repeat
363
00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:26,448
Of that girl
from a couple of years ago.
364
00:15:26,449 --> 00:15:27,616
What was her name?
365
00:15:27,617 --> 00:15:29,518
The Indian with the long toes?
366
00:15:29,519 --> 00:15:31,153
Ramona.
367
00:15:31,154 --> 00:15:32,454
Whatever.
368
00:15:32,455 --> 00:15:33,856
Those feet were freakish.
369
00:15:33,857 --> 00:15:37,526
She could talk to deaf people
with those things.
370
00:15:38,361 --> 00:15:40,262
She was a nice girl,
371
00:15:40,263 --> 00:15:42,281
And we just wanted
different stuff.
372
00:15:42,282 --> 00:15:44,667
Yeah, you wanted her,
and she wanted new boobs
373
00:15:44,668 --> 00:15:47,036
And a fancy car
to carry 'em around in.
374
00:15:47,037 --> 00:15:50,539
Is there a little more cream
of mushroom in here than usual?
375
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:53,475
Then there was the peroxide
blonde with the weird teeth.
376
00:15:53,476 --> 00:15:55,210
They're called
braces, mom.
377
00:15:55,211 --> 00:15:57,179
What kind of grown woman
wears braces?
378
00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:58,547
I'll tell you what kind.
379
00:15:58,548 --> 00:16:00,149
The crazy kind.
380
00:16:01,451 --> 00:16:03,919
Crooked teeth are to be dealt
with when you're young.
381
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,955
Otherwise, just let 'em go
where they want to go.
382
00:16:06,956 --> 00:16:10,526
Mom, do we always have
to review the game tape?
383
00:16:10,527 --> 00:16:12,094
Hey, I'm just watching
your back.
384
00:16:12,095 --> 00:16:13,629
Which gets a little wider
385
00:16:13,630 --> 00:16:16,432
Every time one of these gals
breaks your heart.
386
00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:18,901
You know what?
387
00:16:18,902 --> 00:16:20,119
I'm gonna head home.
388
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,371
Well...
Thanks for
dinner.
389
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,773
And the pleasant
conversation.
390
00:16:24,774 --> 00:16:26,542
Wait. You can't leave.
391
00:16:26,543 --> 00:16:27,910
I made your favorite dessert--
392
00:16:27,911 --> 00:16:29,845
Banana pudding
with nilla wafers.
393
00:16:29,846 --> 00:16:31,279
I'm actually pretty full, ma.
394
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:34,783
In fact, I think I've swallowed
about as much as I can take.
395
00:16:34,784 --> 00:16:36,051
Listen, mikey,
396
00:16:36,052 --> 00:16:37,419
I'm just trying to protect you.
397
00:16:37,420 --> 00:16:38,754
You hook up with these women,
398
00:16:38,755 --> 00:16:40,556
And they always end up
breaking your heart.
399
00:16:40,557 --> 00:16:42,391
Mom, you don't know what
you're talking about.
400
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:43,959
Hey, just being honest.
401
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:46,395
And I appreciate that.
402
00:16:46,396 --> 00:16:48,731
But I really like molly,
403
00:16:48,732 --> 00:16:50,666
And you're just gonna
have to get used to that.
404
00:16:50,667 --> 00:16:52,801
Just like I got used
to our little dinners
405
00:16:52,802 --> 00:16:55,337
Where you bust my balls
and I try and choke down
406
00:16:55,338 --> 00:16:57,973
The worst tuna noodle casserole
in the history of food.
407
00:16:59,642 --> 00:17:01,827
Sorry. Just being honest.
408
00:17:03,813 --> 00:17:06,248
Let me tell you something, Jim.
409
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:07,783
You don't get a body like that
410
00:17:07,784 --> 00:17:09,785
By having a mom
who's a bad cook.
411
00:17:17,961 --> 00:17:19,211
Hey.
412
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:22,564
Molly. What are
you doing here?
413
00:17:22,565 --> 00:17:24,366
I wanted to talk to you.
414
00:17:24,367 --> 00:17:26,668
Look, I'm sorry
I came by your school today.
415
00:17:26,669 --> 00:17:28,871
It was really stupid.
It'll never happen again.
416
00:17:28,872 --> 00:17:30,172
Don't say that.
417
00:17:30,173 --> 00:17:32,708
It was the sweetest thing
a guy's ever done for me.
418
00:17:32,709 --> 00:17:36,044
Really?
Yeah, I wanted to make out with
you right there in the hall.
419
00:17:36,045 --> 00:17:37,646
Oh, that would have been
so great,
420
00:17:37,647 --> 00:17:39,648
'cause I know
that kid didn't really believe
421
00:17:39,649 --> 00:17:41,083
That you were my girlfriend.
422
00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,521
So I'm your girlfriend now?
423
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,289
Well, that's what
I told the lady
424
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:48,991
Who sold me
this stupid dog.
425
00:17:48,992 --> 00:17:50,692
He's not stupid.
426
00:17:50,693 --> 00:17:52,628
He's cute.
427
00:17:52,629 --> 00:17:56,431
Well, for my sake, I hope
stupid and cute can coexist.
428
00:17:57,901 --> 00:18:00,302
I'm sorry
I've been pulling away from you.
429
00:18:00,303 --> 00:18:02,571
I... I just got scared.
430
00:18:02,572 --> 00:18:05,974
Well, if it makes you feel
any better, I'm scared, too.
Really?
431
00:18:05,975 --> 00:18:08,977
Well, yeah. Any time I bust
a move on a residential street,
432
00:18:08,978 --> 00:18:10,879
It's usually
just nervous energy.
433
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,883
So I'm not imagining it?
434
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:17,352
This is happening
really fast, right?
435
00:18:17,353 --> 00:18:18,754
Yeah, but a good fast.
436
00:18:18,755 --> 00:18:21,323
Like the drive-through
at Arby's after midnight.
437
00:18:21,324 --> 00:18:23,725
Okay.
438
00:18:23,726 --> 00:18:26,528
But we still have
to keep each other in check.
439
00:18:26,529 --> 00:18:28,530
Pace ourselves.
440
00:18:28,531 --> 00:18:29,832
Exactly.
441
00:18:29,833 --> 00:18:33,168
Let the relationship progress
at a nice, relaxed speed.
442
00:18:33,169 --> 00:18:34,670
Good.
443
00:18:34,671 --> 00:18:36,672
Sounds like a plan.
444
00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:51,505
Oh, look.
445
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,874
He's giving out prizes now.
446
00:18:56,078 --> 00:18:58,245
What'd you have
to do for that?
447
00:18:58,246 --> 00:19:00,748
Love to chat, ladies,
but I've got exactly one hour
448
00:19:00,749 --> 00:19:02,817
To get showered, changed
and ready for work.
449
00:19:02,818 --> 00:19:03,968
You want some breakfast,
450
00:19:03,969 --> 00:19:06,587
Or did you have a pop-tart
at your lover's place?
451
00:19:06,588 --> 00:19:09,123
Don't call him my lover!
452
00:19:09,124 --> 00:19:11,792
Boy, I thought when she started
getting a little time
453
00:19:11,793 --> 00:19:15,162
On the bouncy castle,
she'd lighten up a bit.
454
00:19:15,163 --> 00:19:17,164
Yeah, I don't get it.
455
00:19:17,165 --> 00:19:20,634
Oh. Your sister's
a complicated woman.
456
00:19:20,635 --> 00:19:21,902
Sometimes I think
457
00:19:21,903 --> 00:19:23,704
She's too smart
for her own good.
458
00:19:23,705 --> 00:19:26,941
How can you be too
smart for your own good?
459
00:19:26,942 --> 00:19:29,877
It's nothing you need
to worry about, baby.
460
00:19:31,146 --> 00:19:34,348
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