1
00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:06,834
Mike, I really have to get home.

2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,872
You sure you can't stay a little longer?

3
00:00:09,042 --> 00:00:12,102
I've been here for two days.
I don't have clean clothes to wear.

4
00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:14,576
Well, I don't know how they got dirty,
we hardly used them.

5
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,181
[MOLLY CHUCKLES]

6
00:00:16,583 --> 00:00:20,178
Well, I also have a big stack of book reports
to read for tomorrow.

7
00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:24,346
They're fourth graders.
Just give them all Bs. They'll be thrilled.

8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,088
Except for maybe the Asian kids.

9
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:31,263
I let them slide through the system,
turn to crime, you arrest them.

10
00:00:31,431 --> 00:00:32,796
For you, it's win-win.

11
00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:36,669
Golly, I wish I was one of your students.

12
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:40,397
I'd sit right up front and look
in those beautiful green eyes all day long.

13
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,700
You look really pretty today, Miss Flynn.

14
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:46,141
Why, Michael Biggs,
I believe you're a kiss-ass.

15
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,948
Well, that's definitely where I'd start.

16
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:55,281
All right. Ha, ha. One of us
has gotta be strong and it's clearly not you.

17
00:00:55,455 --> 00:00:58,015
-So I'm going home.
-All right, let me grab my keys.

18
00:00:58,191 --> 00:00:59,215
[KEYS RATTLE]

19
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,417
Thank you for a lovely weekend.

20
00:01:01,594 --> 00:01:04,586
It was nice. Strolling hand in hand
through Lincoln Park...

21
00:01:04,764 --> 00:01:07,426
...and buying kettle corn
at the farmers' market.

22
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,228
Good luck getting that
out of your sheets.

23
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,302
Well, a lot of it was already there.

24
00:01:13,473 --> 00:01:15,407
[CHUCKLES]

25
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:17,372
My favorite part of this weekend...

26
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:21,071
...was, uh, waking up in the morning,
seeing you laying next to me.

27
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:25,075
All cuddled up in a cute little ball,
snuggling under my arm...

28
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,811
...one of your tiny feet
popping out under the covers.

29
00:01:27,987 --> 00:01:30,080
I mean, the other stuff was great...

30
00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,191
...but that's the memory
that I'll be keeping right here.

31
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,185
You son of a bitch.

32
00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:41,026
One more time
and then you are driving me home.

33
00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:48,771
Yes, Miss Flynn, whatever you say.

34
00:02:10,330 --> 00:02:12,321
-I'll call you tomorrow.
-Don't wanna talk tonight?

35
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:16,026
-Ha, ha, Mike.
-Good night. First thing in the morning.

36
00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,033
-Bye.
-Bye.

37
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:20,900
[MlKE WHlSTLlNG]

38
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:22,405
For God's sake, quit dancing.

39
00:02:22,575 --> 00:02:25,408
My neighbors don't need to know
you scored.

40
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:29,412
MlKE:
Okay. You heard her, neighbors. I scored.

41
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:32,678
[MOLLY CHUCKLES]

42
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:38,850
-What?
-You dirty, little whore.

43
00:02:41,394 --> 00:02:43,294
Details. Must have details.

44
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:46,762
And skip the foreplay. I don't wanna know
how the sausage was made...

45
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:49,367
... I just wanna know
how it was served.

46
00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:55,469
Well, he's a great guy...

47
00:02:55,942 --> 00:02:58,536
...and we had a very nice time.

48
00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:08,250
You finally free Willy
and all we get is "great guy, nice time"?

49
00:03:08,421 --> 00:03:11,618
Come on, Mol, spill it.
I always tell you every dirty detail.

50
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,282
But against my will.
There's a big difference.

51
00:03:15,261 --> 00:03:17,661
Come on, Tater Tot.

52
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:20,298
Just a couple of highlights
for Mom and sis.

53
00:03:20,466 --> 00:03:23,401
No. I don't feel comfortable
talking about that kind of stuff.

54
00:03:23,670 --> 00:03:27,663
What is the point in getting laid
if you can't talk about it with your family?

55
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:31,508
-Yeah, we're not asking for blow-by-blow.
-Mm-mm.

56
00:03:31,678 --> 00:03:33,942
Just a little girl talk.

57
00:03:35,114 --> 00:03:36,479
Well, like what?

58
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:41,113
Well, for instance,
was he tender with you?

59
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:46,256
Yes, he was. Very, very tender.

60
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,361
Not so tender as to be fruity, right?

61
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:55,663
No. It was pretty amazing.

62
00:03:55,835 --> 00:04:00,772
He was kind of nervous,
but, uh, very sweet and attentive.

63
00:04:00,940 --> 00:04:02,100
Attentive, huh?

64
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:05,540
So you're saying he licked the stamp
before he mailed the letter.

65
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:11,882
What? No, I'm just saying
he was very loving and very giving.

66
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:14,383
Oh, Lord,
he didn't camp down there, did he?

67
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:20,023
Because after a while, that's like trying
to light a wet book of matches.

68
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,217
[MUTTERS]

69
00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:23,521
I keep a little spray bottle
on my nightstand.

70
00:04:23,696 --> 00:04:25,288
-What a great idea.
-Mm-hm.

71
00:04:25,465 --> 00:04:27,330
-Like trying to get a cat off the couch.
-Mm-hm.

72
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:30,702
Well, this was fun.

73
00:04:33,873 --> 00:04:35,272
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

74
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,467
Carlton, you gonna answer the door?

75
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:40,237
CARL:
I just got out of the shower.

76
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:41,903
Just got out?

77
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,481
Been in there for 25 minutes.

78
00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:48,485
That boy ever gets a girlfriend,
my water bill will be cut in half.

79
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,325
-Nana.
-Hey, Michael.

80
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,927
What brings you here
on a Sunday evening?

81
00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:57,790
Oh, nothing.
I wanted to come by and say hi.

82
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,329
Well, come on in, baby.

83
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:03,193
-Carlton, you got company.
CARL: Who is it?

84
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,702
Get your narrow ass down here
and find out.

85
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:10,134
He sat behind the Broussard twins
at church today...

86
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,574
...and he's been in the shower
ever since.

87
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,914
-Can I get you something to eat?
-No, thanks. I'm not hungry.

88
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:21,247
Yeah, and I'm not old, black and Christian.
How about a piece of pie?

89
00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:25,251
No, I'm fine.
In fact, I'm perfectly content.

90
00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:28,792
Oh, my, it sounds like
somebody was baptized...

91
00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:32,158
...in the river of good, good loving.

92
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,261
Well, Molly and l
are getting kind of serious.

93
00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,470
We spent the entire weekend together.

94
00:05:38,638 --> 00:05:41,698
Oh, and you still floating
on that cloud of passion, ain't you?

95
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,809
Are you kidding?
I almost moonwalked into some trash cans.

96
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,001
[CHUCKLlNG]

97
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:50,138
This is a magical time in a relationship.
You know, I believe it's God's way...

98
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:53,285
-...of giving us a little peek at heaven.
-You think so?

99
00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:55,978
If he didn't want us to copulate
every now and then...

100
00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:59,488
...he wouldn't have picked a Peter
to guard the pearly gates.

101
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,751
I just wanna run through the streets...

102
00:06:02,929 --> 00:06:05,796
...screaming her name
and hugging homeless people.

103
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,197
Michael, you need to let her know that.

104
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,166
Because that little girl
is feeling vulnerable right now.

105
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,134
-Really?
-Of course she is.

106
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:15,900
She's just given you
her most precious gift.

107
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,100
She needs to know
that you appreciate that.

108
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:21,974
Oh, I do. She almost had to turn the hose
on me to get me off her porch.

109
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,279
Hey, what's going on?

110
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:27,647
Michael just had a lovely weekend
with his lady friend.

111
00:06:27,820 --> 00:06:30,345
All right.
You and Molly finally did the nasty?

112
00:06:30,523 --> 00:06:33,458
"Did the nasty." Listen to you.

113
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:36,186
That's why the last woman
you brought into this house...

114
00:06:36,362 --> 00:06:39,388
...came with an air pump and a patch kit.

115
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,091
Grandma, that was a gag gift
from the guys at work.

116
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:46,534
Wasn't no gag when I heard it pop
at 3:00 in the morning.

117
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,637
Thought it was a drive-by.

118
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,978
Now, Michael,
don't allow too much time to pass...

119
00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,675
...before you let her know
how much she means to you.

120
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,843
Maybe I could get her a nice gift.

121
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,216
I could sign her up
for Fruit of the Month club.

122
00:07:04,490 --> 00:07:08,449
Well, say it with cantaloupes and plums
if you have to.

123
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:12,962
The important thing is to reach out
and let her know she's in your heart.

124
00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:14,895
That's good. I'll do that.

125
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,364
I completely disagree.

126
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:19,198
What you need to do is pull back.
Keep the woman guessing.

127
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,737
Be smooth and aloof.

128
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,397
Hush up, Goofy Grape.

129
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,142
This is real people talking
about real things.

130
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:29,713
This is my best friend...

131
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:32,680
...and I may have some advice
he could actually benefit from.

132
00:07:32,852 --> 00:07:37,152
-Fine. I'll let you two talk man-to-man.
-Thank you, Grandma.

133
00:07:37,323 --> 00:07:41,282
But, Michael, if you take one word of advice
that comes out of his jellybean head...

134
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,986
...you and I got a problem.

135
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,931
Goes without saying, Nana.

136
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:51,226
[SlGHS]

137
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,439
Ha, ha. Goofy Grape.

138
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,579
Morning.

139
00:08:02,748 --> 00:08:05,376
Hey, is your sister up yet?
She's gonna be late for work.

140
00:08:05,551 --> 00:08:09,009
Oh, no, she's awake.
I heard her singing in the shower.

141
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,947
I'm so happy for her.

142
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:15,389
Nothing cures the crankies
like a trip to the boneyard.

143
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:19,363
If I go for more than one week without it,
I'm a total bitch.

144
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:22,023
Which explains your sunny disposition.

145
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:27,032
God, I remember when your daddy
was in Vietnam.

146
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,834
I'd get so horny,
I'd fill the dryer with tennis shoes...

147
00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,704
...and sit on it.

148
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:37,246
Damn, that war tore this country apart.

149
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:40,142
Morning.

150
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,651
-Morning.
-Morning, sweetheart.

151
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:45,723
JOYCE: You want some breakfast?
-No, I gotta get to school.

152
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:47,655
Oh. You meeting your lover after work?

153
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,792
No, and please don't refer to Mike
as my lover.

154
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:53,295
How about your boink buddy?

155
00:08:53,633 --> 00:08:54,657
How about "Mike"?

156
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:55,858
[PHONE RlNGlNG]

157
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,162
You know,
I used to call your father my pud-bud.

158
00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:00,629
I know, Mom. The walls were thin.

159
00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,904
Hey, Mike.

160
00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:06,840
I'm fine.

161
00:09:07,413 --> 00:09:08,812
It was very nice.

162
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,706
I enjoyed myself too.

163
00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:15,010
Look, l, uh, gotta get to work,
can I call you later?

164
00:09:15,187 --> 00:09:18,122
Okay. I will.

165
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,724
Bye-bye.

166
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,662
Wow. You didn't give the guy much,
did you, princess?

167
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,292
What are you talking about?

168
00:09:25,631 --> 00:09:27,622
You were kind of cold, Molly.

169
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:30,394
What do you want from me?
I'm trying to take it slow.

170
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:34,028
Otherwise, I'll do what I always do.
I'll end up sending him mushy poems...

171
00:09:34,206 --> 00:09:36,800
...and buying him stupid gifts.

172
00:09:37,843 --> 00:09:42,303
"Hey, little pussycat.
I think you're purr-fect."

173
00:09:42,648 --> 00:09:47,847
I like the sentiment, but I don't think
it quite captures all that's in my heart.

174
00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:49,510
You know, how happy I am.

175
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:54,023
How lucky I feel to have such a smart,
funny and beautiful woman in my life.

176
00:09:54,193 --> 00:09:57,492
-How about a stuffed dog?
-Bull's-eye.

177
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,646
Do you know how much longer
this class is going on?

178
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:16,509
Are you here to arrest Miss Flynn?

179
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,575
Ha, ha. No, not at all.

180
00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:20,480
Crap.

181
00:10:21,387 --> 00:10:24,379
Well, actually, if you must know,
I'm her boyfriend.

182
00:10:25,091 --> 00:10:26,752
Really?

183
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:31,761
Well, we haven't exactly used those words,
boyfriend and girlfriend...

184
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,831
...but this weekend was special for us...

185
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,628
...so I'm just assuming
that's our current status.

186
00:10:37,436 --> 00:10:38,630
It's your life, man.

187
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,269
-What's the matter? Don't like Miss Flynn?
-She's mean.

188
00:10:43,442 --> 00:10:44,966
That's not the Miss Flynn I know.

189
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,806
I find her to be a very loving
and patient woman.

190
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:50,073
So why am I sitting in the hallway?

191
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,146
Mike? What are you doing here?

192
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,447
I just wanted to come by and say hi.

193
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:58,214
Hi.

194
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,822
-Hi.
-And this is for you.

195
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:02,358
Oh.

196
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:04,723
That's really sweet,
but I can't talk right now.

197
00:11:04,897 --> 00:11:07,297
I got a classroom full of kids
trying to figure out Moby Dick.

198
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:08,763
[SNlCKERS]

199
00:11:08,934 --> 00:11:10,993
It's not any funnier now
than it was 20 minutes ago.

200
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,000
Uh, I'm sorry for the surprise attack.

201
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,904
I guess I foolishly thought
it would be charming.

202
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:21,407
Not without its charm,
but this isn't a good time.

203
00:11:22,114 --> 00:11:25,345
I understand. I just wanna let you know
that I was thinking about you.

204
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:28,914
Thanks, but I can't take this
in there now.

205
00:11:29,088 --> 00:11:33,081
They see me as human, they'll rip me apart
with their dirty little fingers.

206
00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:37,421
No, I understand. I got quite a few snickers
myself and I'm carrying a gun.

207
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:38,620
[LAUGHS]

208
00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:42,666
Just forget I was here, and go about
your business, and I'll get out of your hair.

209
00:11:42,835 --> 00:11:45,429
Mike, you're not in my hair. It's just--

210
00:11:45,604 --> 00:11:47,469
I probably should go back in there.
I'll call you later.

211
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:48,664
[CHlLDREN CHATTERlNG]

212
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,605
MOLLY:
Come on, guys. Settle down.

213
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:55,037
I don't think she gets it.

214
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,812
Moby Dick?

215
00:11:58,317 --> 00:11:59,875
Yeah, it's a thinker.

216
00:12:03,022 --> 00:12:04,717
Oh, man, what possessed you?

217
00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:06,551
I know, Carl. I'm an idiot.

218
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,160
You can't be giving a lady
cheap-ass carnival prizes.

219
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:10,352
She made love to you.

220
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:13,020
She didn't knock down milk bottles
with a baseball.

221
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:16,500
In my defense,
it looked a lot sexier in the store.

222
00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:20,264
Because you were on a nooky high.
Never buy gifts or pick out a swimsuit...

223
00:12:20,439 --> 00:12:22,566
...when you're flying on a nooky high.

224
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:24,370
Is that the orange Speedo?

225
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,339
Yeah, I ain't got the marbles
to pull that off.

226
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:32,817
Well, I believe it is a mistake
to reward a woman for giving you sex.

227
00:12:32,985 --> 00:12:37,581
It sets a bad precedent.
You must look at yourself as the gift.

228
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:40,118
Damn right.
We got it all wrong in this country.

229
00:12:40,292 --> 00:12:43,284
Women should be buying us stuff.
Telling us how pretty we are.

230
00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,657
And we are pretty.

231
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:51,234
The point is you shouldn't be buying a lady
trinkets every time she throws you one.

232
00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:54,130
Look, I may have been
a little overzealous...

233
00:12:54,306 --> 00:12:56,934
... in expressing my appreciation
to Molly...

234
00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:00,670
...but I think I still have a pretty good
handle on what it is a woman wants.

235
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:04,577
Because of the three of us,
I'm the only one a woman wants.

236
00:13:06,418 --> 00:13:08,511
Enjoy your day.

237
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:11,753
You forgot your stuffed dog.

238
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:22,857
This does not make what I just said
any less powerful or any less true.

239
00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:30,371
Hi, my name is Molly
and I'm an overeater.

240
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,976
ALL:
Hi, Molly.

241
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:35,375
I, uh, had a pretty good week.
I actually lost 3 pounds.

242
00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,545
And ha, ha.

243
00:13:37,716 --> 00:13:40,776
Apparently, having a man in your life
provides certain aerobic benefits.

244
00:13:40,953 --> 00:13:42,113
[LAUGHS]

245
00:13:42,288 --> 00:13:45,451
Uh, seriously, though, I'm very happy.

246
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:48,320
So happy I'm scared to death.

247
00:13:48,494 --> 00:13:52,225
Truth is I don't wanna be here right now.
I wanna be with him.

248
00:13:52,398 --> 00:13:54,764
In fact, I wanna be with him all the time.

249
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:59,735
But that's how I deal with everything
that I like. I overdo it.

250
00:13:59,905 --> 00:14:02,738
It's like when I eat cake, you know,
I can't have a piece...

251
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:06,105
...I gotta eat the whole thing
then lick the frosting off the beater.

252
00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:10,146
And with a man, I gotta-- Well....

253
00:14:12,751 --> 00:14:16,687
Never mind. It's a--
But you get what I'm talking about.

254
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,620
I mean, otherwise,
this would be called the Moderation Club.

255
00:14:21,126 --> 00:14:23,959
But I'm gonna be strong...

256
00:14:24,129 --> 00:14:28,532
...and I'm not gonna let myself
get carried away like I always do.

257
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:32,393
I'm just gonna have a little piece
every once in a while...

258
00:14:32,571 --> 00:14:36,803
...and hopefully this cake will be around
a really long time.

259
00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:42,974
Thank you for listening and I'm sorry
I got us all thinking about cake.

260
00:14:43,148 --> 00:14:44,376
I'm sorry.

261
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,353
How you liking your old mom's
famous tuna noodle casserole?

262
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:50,545
It's good, Mom.

263
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,123
It was better yesterday,
but you never showed up...

264
00:14:53,292 --> 00:14:56,728
...so the potato chips lost
a certain amount of snap.

265
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,954
No, it's fine.

266
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,690
I guess some things keep
and some things don't.

267
00:15:00,866 --> 00:15:01,890
Delicious one day...

268
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:05,798
...and the next morning, it's just dry,
milky tuna stuck to a crusty pan.

269
00:15:06,705 --> 00:15:09,105
So how's your little girlfriend?

270
00:15:11,010 --> 00:15:13,501
-Good.
-How come you're not with her tonight?

271
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:17,543
-Because I'm here with you.
-Well, ain't I the lucky one?

272
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:21,049
So taking separate vacations
already, huh?

273
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:24,021
No, we just agreed to an evening
to ourselves.

274
00:15:24,189 --> 00:15:25,213
I see.

275
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:28,724
I just pray it's not a repeat of that girl
from a couple of years ago.

276
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:31,886
What was her name?
The lndian with the long toes.

277
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:34,861
-Ramona.
-Whatever.

278
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,600
Those feet were freakish.

279
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:39,761
She could talk to deaf people
with those things.

280
00:15:42,374 --> 00:15:44,740
She was a nice girl
and we wanted different stuff.

281
00:15:44,910 --> 00:15:47,378
Yeah, you wanted her
and she wanted new boobs...

282
00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,514
...and a fancy car
to carry them around in.

283
00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:53,111
Is there more cream of mushroom?

284
00:15:53,285 --> 00:15:56,254
Then there was the peroxide blond
with the weird teeth.

285
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:59,823
-They're called braces, Mom.
-What kind of grown woman wears braces?

286
00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:02,392
I'll tell you what kind. The crazy kind.

287
00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:05,928
Crooked teeth are dealt
with when young.

288
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:08,896
Otherwise, just let them go
where they wanna go.

289
00:16:10,002 --> 00:16:12,436
Mom, do we always have to review
the game tape?

290
00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,834
Hey, I'm just watching your back.

291
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:18,704
Which gets a little wider every time
one of these gals breaks your heart.

292
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,442
You know what?

293
00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:22,637
I'm gonna head home.

294
00:16:22,915 --> 00:16:24,815
-What--?
-Thanks for dinner...

295
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,475
...and the pleasant conversation.

296
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:28,950
Wait, you can't leave.

297
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:32,249
I made your favorite dessert.
Banana pudding with Nilla Wafers.

298
00:16:32,424 --> 00:16:37,191
I'm actually full, Ma. In fact, I think
I've swallowed about as much as I can take.

299
00:16:37,363 --> 00:16:40,127
Listen, Mikey,
I'm just trying to protect you.

300
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:43,427
You hook up with these women
and they end up breaking your heart.

301
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:47,333
-You don't know what you're talking about.
-Hey, just being honest.

302
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,201
And I appreciate that.

303
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:53,106
But I really like Molly and you're
just gonna have to get used to that.

304
00:16:53,278 --> 00:16:55,974
Just like I got used to dinners
where you bust my balls...

305
00:16:56,148 --> 00:17:00,244
...and I try to choke down the worst
tuna noodle casserole in the history of food.

306
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:04,984
Sorry, just being honest.

307
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,659
Let me tell you something, Jim.

308
00:17:08,827 --> 00:17:12,024
You don't get a body like that
by having a mom who's a bad cook.

309
00:17:20,739 --> 00:17:22,172
Hey.

310
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:25,276
-Um.
-Molly, what are you doing here?

311
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:26,809
I wanted to talk to you.

312
00:17:27,413 --> 00:17:31,281
I'm sorry I came by your school today.
It was stupid. It will never happen again.

313
00:17:31,650 --> 00:17:35,177
Don't say that. It was the sweetest thing
a guy's ever done for me.

314
00:17:35,354 --> 00:17:38,482
-Really?
-Yeah. I wanted to make out in the hall.

315
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:40,321
That would've been so great.

316
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:44,121
Because I know that kid didn't really believe
that you were my girlfriend.

317
00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:47,995
So I'm your girlfriend now?

318
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:52,030
Well, that's what I told the lady
who sold me this stupid dog.

319
00:17:52,204 --> 00:17:55,139
He's not stupid. He's cute.

320
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:58,674
Well, for my sake,
I hope stupid and cute can coexist.

321
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,344
I'm sorry I've been pulling away
from you.

322
00:18:03,515 --> 00:18:05,073
I just got scared.

323
00:18:05,250 --> 00:18:07,718
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
I'm scared too.

324
00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:10,013
-Really?
-Oh, yeah. Any time I bust a move...

325
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:13,215
...on a residential street,
it's usually just nervous energy.

326
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:19,723
So I'm not imagining it.
This is happening really fast, right?

327
00:18:19,898 --> 00:18:20,956
Yeah, but a good fast.

328
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:23,693
Like the drive-through at Arby's
after midnight.

329
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,498
Okay. Ha, ha.

330
00:18:26,672 --> 00:18:29,607
But we still have to keep each other
in check.

331
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:30,867
Pace ourselves.

332
00:18:31,043 --> 00:18:35,537
Exactly. Let the relationship progress
at a nice, relaxed speed.

333
00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:36,874
Good.

334
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,880
Sounds like a plan.

335
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:55,355
Oh, look, he's giving out prizes now.

336
00:18:58,370 --> 00:18:59,997
What'd you have to do for that?

337
00:19:00,172 --> 00:19:02,333
Love to chat, ladies,
but I've got one hour...

338
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:04,442
...to get showered and ready for work.

339
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:08,046
You want some breakfast or did you
have a Pop Tart at your lover's place?

340
00:19:08,213 --> 00:19:10,841
MOLLY:
Don't call him my lover!

341
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:14,577
Boy, I thought when she started
getting a little time on the bouncy castle...

342
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:16,812
...she'd lighten up a bit.

343
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,847
-Yeah, I don't get it.
-Mm.

344
00:19:20,025 --> 00:19:22,357
Your sister's a complicated woman.

345
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,395
Sometimes I think she's too smart
for her own good.

346
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,589
How can you be too smart
for your own good?

347
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,359
It's nothing you need
to worry about, baby.

348
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:04,325
[English - US - SDH]