1 00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:02,943 So do I look familiar? 2 00:00:03,126 --> 00:00:04,566 I don't go to the movies that often. 3 00:00:04,669 --> 00:00:07,221 Oh, no, no. I meant, do I look like my sister? 4 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,685 I think it's interesting that you chose to see me, 5 00:00:11,933 --> 00:00:14,078 your sister's former therapist. 6 00:00:14,301 --> 00:00:15,446 My sister is sick. 7 00:00:15,742 --> 00:00:16,798 Breast cancer? 8 00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:17,982 Stage IV. 9 00:00:18,553 --> 00:00:21,127 Is that how you perceive yourself... 10 00:00:21,517 --> 00:00:24,189 As a former star? 11 00:00:24,397 --> 00:00:25,454 I need help. 12 00:00:25,549 --> 00:00:26,358 With your lines. 13 00:00:26,645 --> 00:00:28,111 I have them down verbatim 14 00:00:28,232 --> 00:00:29,382 and then I go into rehearsal 15 00:00:29,486 --> 00:00:31,414 and wham... They just disappear. 16 00:00:31,517 --> 00:00:34,461 You've just come through a difficult divorce. 17 00:00:34,597 --> 00:00:36,021 I would imagine that the play 18 00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:38,397 provided a kind of an escape. 19 00:00:38,597 --> 00:00:39,454 Escape? 20 00:00:39,663 --> 00:00:42,030 No. It's the problem, not the solution. 21 00:00:42,158 --> 00:00:43,334 What's the problem? 22 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:44,742 I'm failing. 23 00:01:28,404 --> 00:01:30,705 ( theme music playing ) 24 00:01:33,809 --> 00:01:37,433 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 25 00:01:50,926 --> 00:01:53,528 You look tired. 26 00:01:55,197 --> 00:01:57,465 I'm sorry. I hate that. 27 00:01:57,499 --> 00:02:01,369 Don't ever tell me when I look like shit or tired... 28 00:02:01,403 --> 00:02:03,504 Or old. 29 00:02:09,244 --> 00:02:12,714 - What's that? - Here, open it. 30 00:02:12,748 --> 00:02:16,351 It's a prompter... an earpiece for aging actors 31 00:02:16,385 --> 00:02:18,553 Who can't remember their lines. 32 00:02:18,587 --> 00:02:21,089 Too bad they don't have something similar for younger actors 33 00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:24,025 Who refuse to learn theirs. 34 00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:27,295 The director wants me to wear it during performances 35 00:02:27,329 --> 00:02:30,998 In case I lose a line. 36 00:02:31,033 --> 00:02:34,469 So how did it go this week? 37 00:02:34,503 --> 00:02:36,337 As to be expected. 38 00:02:36,372 --> 00:02:38,306 ( sighs ) everything's fine, 39 00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:41,142 Sailing along, and then... 40 00:02:41,176 --> 00:02:42,443 Poof. 41 00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:44,445 But I'm not wearing this fucking thing. 42 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:46,214 Did you tell that to the director? 43 00:02:46,248 --> 00:02:49,283 I told the director that I am seeing the best psychoanalyst 44 00:02:49,318 --> 00:02:51,953 In New York and that I'm sure I'd be fine. 45 00:02:51,987 --> 00:02:55,623 So now both our reputations are on the line. 46 00:02:55,657 --> 00:02:58,292 So you'd like us to be in this together. 47 00:02:58,327 --> 00:03:00,995 Aren't we? 48 00:03:04,633 --> 00:03:06,634 ( chuckles ) 49 00:03:08,537 --> 00:03:12,106 The stage manager keeps shanghaiing me backstage 50 00:03:12,141 --> 00:03:14,375 To talk about her own memory problems, 51 00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:16,978 Hormone treatments, hot flashes. 52 00:03:17,012 --> 00:03:19,847 She even gave me a book... "the wisdom of menopause." 53 00:03:19,882 --> 00:03:22,817 Thank you. 54 00:03:22,851 --> 00:03:26,020 Oh God. I sound like a spoiled brat. 55 00:03:26,054 --> 00:03:28,890 - You must think I'm ridiculous. - Why do you say that? 56 00:03:28,924 --> 00:03:31,192 There's all this frivolous stuff I'm talking about... 57 00:03:31,226 --> 00:03:33,394 Lines and the stage manager. I can't... 58 00:03:33,429 --> 00:03:35,296 Frivolous compared to what? 59 00:03:35,330 --> 00:03:36,931 Last week when you were here 60 00:03:36,965 --> 00:03:40,034 You were worried about seeming frivolous 61 00:03:40,068 --> 00:03:42,236 Compared to your sister. 62 00:03:42,271 --> 00:03:45,840 Tricia doesn't complain about anything. 63 00:03:45,874 --> 00:03:48,743 She faces it all so bravely. 64 00:03:48,777 --> 00:03:50,111 You must think I'm awful. 65 00:03:50,145 --> 00:03:53,548 I must think you're awful or ridiculous 66 00:03:53,582 --> 00:03:56,417 Or whatever. 67 00:03:56,452 --> 00:03:59,420 Last week you were defending 68 00:03:59,455 --> 00:04:01,389 Your decision to take a job 69 00:04:01,423 --> 00:04:03,558 - Instead of staying at home. - Yes. 70 00:04:03,592 --> 00:04:07,094 And you said, "does that make me a coldhearted egomaniac?" 71 00:04:07,129 --> 00:04:10,131 Good memory. 72 00:04:10,165 --> 00:04:12,099 Maybe you should play this part. 73 00:04:12,134 --> 00:04:15,002 Why do you use language like that to describe yourself? 74 00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:17,538 Is there some specific response 75 00:04:17,573 --> 00:04:20,208 That you're looking for in me? 76 00:04:20,242 --> 00:04:22,343 I'm sorry I even brought any of this up. 77 00:04:22,377 --> 00:04:25,313 I certainly didn't come here to talk about Diane the stage manager. 78 00:04:25,347 --> 00:04:28,015 So what are you here to talk about? 79 00:04:32,354 --> 00:04:36,023 Last week, do you remember when just before you left, 80 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:39,260 I asked you to keep an eye on what happens 81 00:04:39,294 --> 00:04:41,929 During rehearsal when you go up 82 00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:45,299 On your lines? How did that go? 83 00:04:45,334 --> 00:04:47,301 No rhyme or reason that I could see. 84 00:04:47,336 --> 00:04:49,103 One moment I'd be there, 85 00:04:49,137 --> 00:04:51,906 I'd be Maxine. And the next moment I'd be Frances 86 00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:54,609 And I'd be thinking of something else entirely. 87 00:04:54,643 --> 00:04:57,478 I can't tell you where I go when I jump like that. 88 00:04:57,513 --> 00:04:59,847 - I don't remember. - I want you to try. 89 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,084 I want you to really try 90 00:05:03,118 --> 00:05:04,685 To remember. 91 00:05:09,224 --> 00:05:12,326 Okay, two days ago I was in the middle of a scene 92 00:05:12,361 --> 00:05:15,530 And I found myself thinking I needed to call Izzy. 93 00:05:15,564 --> 00:05:18,466 So I tried to force myself back into the scene, 94 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:21,836 But I couldn't remember anything, didn't know was happening, total blank. 95 00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:24,739 Why do you think you felt this need to talk to Izzy? 96 00:05:24,773 --> 00:05:28,142 I don't know. I wanted to talk to her. 97 00:05:28,143 --> 00:05:30,211 I called Russell later looking for her. 98 00:05:30,245 --> 00:05:33,681 And he told me that Izzy's been spending all of her time at Patricia's. 99 00:05:33,715 --> 00:05:36,017 Taking care of her, I suppose. 100 00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:37,652 And did you call her there? 101 00:05:37,686 --> 00:05:40,855 I didn't want to intrude. Izzy's always preferred Tricia 102 00:05:40,889 --> 00:05:43,958 And her father over me, which is ironic. 103 00:05:43,992 --> 00:05:46,227 - How so? - I met Russell through Tricia. 104 00:05:46,261 --> 00:05:48,029 She introduced us. 105 00:05:48,063 --> 00:05:51,532 She was a graduate student at Columbia 106 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:53,634 And he was this sort of brilliant 107 00:05:53,669 --> 00:05:55,736 Youngish Professor, 108 00:05:55,771 --> 00:05:59,307 Kind of a star in the history department. 109 00:05:59,341 --> 00:06:01,809 I was 30, sick of dating actors, 110 00:06:01,843 --> 00:06:03,311 And she set us up. 111 00:06:03,345 --> 00:06:06,614 And what did she think you were going to like about him? 112 00:06:06,648 --> 00:06:09,216 Well, he wasn't the best-looking man I'd ever known, 113 00:06:09,251 --> 00:06:12,787 But he was the smartest and funny. 114 00:06:12,821 --> 00:06:14,221 I liked his take on things. 115 00:06:14,256 --> 00:06:15,856 It was a turn-on. 116 00:06:15,891 --> 00:06:19,827 So he excited a part of you that hadn't been excited before. 117 00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:22,063 I guess that's right. 118 00:06:24,633 --> 00:06:27,535 And he had... 119 00:06:29,304 --> 00:06:31,806 What? 120 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:35,242 Really good hands. 121 00:06:36,945 --> 00:06:38,813 Physically? 122 00:06:38,847 --> 00:06:41,649 Sexually? 123 00:06:43,752 --> 00:06:47,221 When Russell and I first had sex, 124 00:06:47,255 --> 00:06:49,991 It was completely overwhelming for me. 125 00:06:50,025 --> 00:06:52,793 I hardly knew him and we'd only been out on a few dates, 126 00:06:52,828 --> 00:06:56,831 But I don't know. I fell so hard in love with him. 127 00:06:56,865 --> 00:07:01,168 And it just all went really quickly. 128 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,870 I didn't care about getting married 129 00:07:02,904 --> 00:07:04,739 But he did, so we got married. 130 00:07:04,773 --> 00:07:07,975 You mean that you got married to please him? 131 00:07:08,010 --> 00:07:11,879 No no, I was just surprised by how much he wanted to. 132 00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:16,484 Later on, I did a lot of things to please Russell. 133 00:07:16,518 --> 00:07:18,986 Like what? 134 00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,088 Getting pregnant. 135 00:07:22,391 --> 00:07:25,626 Of course, I wanted to be a mother. 136 00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:28,863 Just happened very fast. It had to. 137 00:07:28,897 --> 00:07:32,767 I was 35, he was 42-43. 138 00:07:32,801 --> 00:07:34,268 So the clock was ticking. 139 00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:38,005 So did you feel that you wanted more time to be alone with him? 140 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:41,242 Just the two of you? A lot of people feel ambivalent 141 00:07:41,276 --> 00:07:44,078 When they bring a child into a marriage. 142 00:07:44,112 --> 00:07:47,348 They're afraid that it's gonna change 143 00:07:47,382 --> 00:07:49,884 The dynamic of the relationship. 144 00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:51,786 - They're right. - Mm-hmm. 145 00:07:51,820 --> 00:07:53,554 When I got pregnant with Izzy, 146 00:07:53,588 --> 00:07:57,224 I was really afraid that he wouldn't want me anymore. 147 00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:00,461 I'd be fat and I'd get sick. 148 00:08:00,495 --> 00:08:03,531 And did he still... 149 00:08:04,866 --> 00:08:07,968 - Want you? - Yeah, he still wanted me. 150 00:08:08,003 --> 00:08:11,372 He liked my new pregnant body. 151 00:08:11,406 --> 00:08:13,007 So did I. 152 00:08:13,041 --> 00:08:15,309 Then when Izzy was born 153 00:08:15,343 --> 00:08:17,978 I thought, well, now it'll be ruined. 154 00:08:18,013 --> 00:08:19,447 The sex I mean. 155 00:08:19,481 --> 00:08:21,315 What exactly were you worried about? 156 00:08:21,349 --> 00:08:24,085 Well, that I would be destroyed by childbirth 157 00:08:24,119 --> 00:08:26,787 And that he would be horrified by what he saw. 158 00:08:26,822 --> 00:08:29,590 Were you in the room when your children were born? 159 00:08:29,624 --> 00:08:33,494 So you know. I mean, women tear themselves apart 160 00:08:33,528 --> 00:08:35,129 To push a baby out. 161 00:08:35,163 --> 00:08:38,299 I just turned into this screaming, bleeding, 162 00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,000 Sweating animal. 163 00:08:40,035 --> 00:08:42,236 I thought I'd never recover, 164 00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,171 I would be permanently damaged. 165 00:08:44,206 --> 00:08:47,742 - But you did. You did recover. - Of course. 166 00:08:47,776 --> 00:08:50,144 The female body is remarkable, don't you think? 167 00:08:50,178 --> 00:08:52,413 And did he lose interest? 168 00:08:52,447 --> 00:08:54,348 No, he still wanted me. 169 00:08:54,382 --> 00:08:58,119 He used to come in and take pictures of me when I was nursing. 170 00:08:58,153 --> 00:09:00,054 He thought I looked beautiful. 171 00:09:00,088 --> 00:09:01,589 And did you feel beautiful? 172 00:09:01,623 --> 00:09:04,825 No, I felt fat, not beautiful. 173 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,894 But then later 174 00:09:06,928 --> 00:09:09,296 I really got to love it. 175 00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:11,732 That feeling of my breasts filling up 176 00:09:11,767 --> 00:09:13,434 And that was what she needed. 177 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:19,406 I mean, that little beautiful warm head 178 00:09:19,441 --> 00:09:21,642 In the crook of my arm, 179 00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:23,410 What could be sweeter? 180 00:09:23,445 --> 00:09:25,880 So you felt important 181 00:09:25,914 --> 00:09:28,149 When you were nursing. 182 00:09:28,183 --> 00:09:30,584 No, I felt like I had a purpose. 183 00:09:33,655 --> 00:09:35,790 Then she grew up. 184 00:09:35,824 --> 00:09:39,660 Well, they tend to do that. 185 00:09:39,694 --> 00:09:41,762 ( laughs ) yeah. 186 00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:44,799 But now it seems that 187 00:09:44,833 --> 00:09:47,868 You feel Izzy doesn't need you anymore. 188 00:09:47,903 --> 00:09:49,870 She hasn't needed me for a long time. 189 00:09:49,905 --> 00:09:53,007 Well, she's a teenager. It's fairly ordinary. 190 00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:56,277 No, but she pushed away from me a long time ago. 191 00:09:56,311 --> 00:09:59,680 She hasn't needed me since she was 6 or 7. 192 00:09:59,714 --> 00:10:02,082 You said that you felt that she'd always 193 00:10:02,117 --> 00:10:04,151 Preferred your husband to you. 194 00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:06,854 Yeah, daddy's little girl. 195 00:10:06,888 --> 00:10:10,524 And now you feel like they're coming together, 196 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,126 United against you. 197 00:10:12,160 --> 00:10:15,229 Team Wiskowitz. 198 00:10:15,263 --> 00:10:17,698 Look... 199 00:10:17,732 --> 00:10:21,702 I lost Izzy a long time ago. 200 00:10:21,736 --> 00:10:23,904 But Russell, that... 201 00:10:23,939 --> 00:10:26,540 That was a bit of a shock. 202 00:10:28,643 --> 00:10:31,846 When did you separate? 203 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:34,148 Two years ago. He had an affair. 204 00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:36,283 Yes, you said, with one of his students. 205 00:10:36,318 --> 00:10:40,020 Oh God, what a cliché, huh? 206 00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:42,089 I was faithful. 207 00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,959 I had a lot of jobs out of town. 208 00:10:44,993 --> 00:10:47,528 Many opportunities, but I resisted. 209 00:10:47,562 --> 00:10:49,964 He had to go and piss all over everything. 210 00:10:55,837 --> 00:10:58,672 Can I tell you something that I haven't told anyone? 211 00:10:58,707 --> 00:11:00,674 Sure. 212 00:11:00,709 --> 00:11:03,611 ( exhales ) 213 00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:06,747 I haven't had sex since Russell and I broke up. 214 00:11:08,483 --> 00:11:11,151 - You must think I'm pathetic. - There you go again. 215 00:11:11,186 --> 00:11:13,621 - What? - What I think about you. 216 00:11:13,655 --> 00:11:15,656 That I must think this or I must think that. 217 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:19,393 Are you hoping that maybe I'll agree with you? 218 00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:23,764 Would you like to tell me about this period 219 00:11:23,798 --> 00:11:26,233 Of abstinence? 220 00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:29,737 Well, everyone knows that a virgin has the best complexion. 221 00:11:29,771 --> 00:11:32,573 So it's an aesthetic choice. 222 00:11:32,607 --> 00:11:35,576 No. I just figure, 223 00:11:35,610 --> 00:11:37,645 Really, what's the point? 224 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:39,780 You know, at my age? 225 00:11:39,814 --> 00:11:42,917 Here's the kicker. 226 00:11:42,951 --> 00:11:45,853 Guess who's getting laid, or is about to? 227 00:11:45,887 --> 00:11:48,122 - Izzy. - She tell you that? 228 00:11:48,156 --> 00:11:50,691 She doesn't talk to me anymore. 229 00:11:53,194 --> 00:11:55,763 I've been reading her emails. 230 00:11:55,797 --> 00:11:58,198 I hacked into her account. 231 00:11:58,233 --> 00:12:00,634 Well, no, that sounds too sophisticated. 232 00:12:00,669 --> 00:12:03,137 I guessed her password. 233 00:12:03,171 --> 00:12:06,140 Do you really think that's the best way 234 00:12:06,174 --> 00:12:09,977 To get close to your daughter? 235 00:12:10,011 --> 00:12:11,912 She won't talk to me. 236 00:12:11,947 --> 00:12:14,982 How would you like it if your kids stopped talking to you? 237 00:12:15,016 --> 00:12:18,118 I don't know what's going on in her life. 238 00:12:18,153 --> 00:12:19,820 She says she's in love. 239 00:12:19,854 --> 00:12:22,756 You don't think that's possible? 240 00:12:22,791 --> 00:12:25,826 She's 15. I mean, a crush maybe, but love? 241 00:12:25,860 --> 00:12:28,228 And this boy, this miller... 242 00:12:28,263 --> 00:12:31,231 That's his first name... he's a junior. 243 00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:33,567 What's he doing, messing around with a freshman? 244 00:12:33,601 --> 00:12:36,103 He's writing her love letters, you know, quoting poetry. 245 00:12:36,137 --> 00:12:39,640 It's not bad poetry... e.E. Cummings, 246 00:12:39,674 --> 00:12:42,309 William Carlos Williams, Pablo Neruda. 247 00:12:42,344 --> 00:12:44,712 Sounds kind of romantic. 248 00:12:44,746 --> 00:12:46,580 Innocent, even. 249 00:12:46,614 --> 00:12:49,283 "flower of fire... Swollen fruit raised"? 250 00:12:49,317 --> 00:12:52,219 ( chuckles ) that's Neruda. 251 00:12:52,253 --> 00:12:55,022 Yeah, not so innocent, huh? 252 00:12:55,056 --> 00:12:58,092 Do you feel then that he's pressuring her? 253 00:12:58,126 --> 00:13:00,794 Just the opposite. He says he'll wait. 254 00:13:00,829 --> 00:13:03,931 They have time. He loves her, blah blah. 255 00:13:03,965 --> 00:13:06,033 That sounds mature, responsible. 256 00:13:06,067 --> 00:13:08,202 No, it sounds devious and Machiavellian. 257 00:13:08,236 --> 00:13:11,238 He wants to get in her pants. You have a daughter. 258 00:13:14,376 --> 00:13:17,244 Patricia remembers when your daughter was born. 259 00:13:17,278 --> 00:13:20,180 You had a big bouquet of pink roses out in the office. 260 00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:23,717 She said you could hardly contain yourself, you were so happy. 261 00:13:23,752 --> 00:13:25,619 Yeah. 262 00:13:25,653 --> 00:13:27,921 We called her Rosie 263 00:13:27,956 --> 00:13:31,025 So we got a lot of roses. 264 00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:32,893 You should've called her Ruby. 265 00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:35,662 ( chuckles ) we should have. 266 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:40,467 She must be 18 now. 267 00:13:42,737 --> 00:13:45,172 Don't you worry about her getting pregnant? 268 00:13:45,206 --> 00:13:47,508 Or h.I.V. Or genital warts? 269 00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:50,044 Do you know that 70% of sexually active kids 270 00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:51,912 Carry this virus? It's an epidemic. 271 00:13:51,946 --> 00:13:54,448 - I hadn't heard that statistic. - That's my point. 272 00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:57,017 Who is this boy? She won't talk to me. 273 00:13:57,052 --> 00:14:00,054 She won't tell me anything about him. She just talks to Tricia. 274 00:14:00,088 --> 00:14:02,156 Well, it makes a lot of sense, don't you think? 275 00:14:02,190 --> 00:14:04,691 Did you talk to your mother about sex? 276 00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,962 Fine. I see your point. 277 00:14:11,132 --> 00:14:12,766 Trish and Izzy... 278 00:14:12,801 --> 00:14:15,402 They even look alike. 279 00:14:15,437 --> 00:14:17,838 Those big brown eyes blinking at you. 280 00:14:17,872 --> 00:14:21,175 You remember? They're two peas in a pod. 281 00:14:21,209 --> 00:14:23,610 And again, you're excluded. 282 00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:27,648 When Tricia had her chemo Izzy shaved her head in solidarity. 283 00:14:27,682 --> 00:14:29,149 Now she keeps on shaving it. 284 00:14:29,184 --> 00:14:32,486 She looks like a big-eyed bald alien. 285 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:33,921 You find her alien? 286 00:14:33,955 --> 00:14:36,323 Don't read too much into it. 287 00:14:36,357 --> 00:14:40,260 Okay. Well, can I read a little into it? 288 00:14:41,529 --> 00:14:44,665 In what ways is she alien to you? 289 00:14:44,699 --> 00:14:47,000 What is about her besides her bald head 290 00:14:47,035 --> 00:14:51,004 That makes her seem so unfamiliar? 291 00:14:51,039 --> 00:14:54,942 The truth is, the way she looks now, 292 00:14:54,976 --> 00:14:58,412 It's exactly the way she looked when I was nursing her. 293 00:15:00,849 --> 00:15:04,251 ( sighs ) Patricia couldn't have kids of her own 294 00:15:04,285 --> 00:15:06,720 And now she's sick. 295 00:15:06,754 --> 00:15:10,491 And I'm jealous anyway. 296 00:15:10,525 --> 00:15:12,726 Still. 297 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,729 I begrudge her the one pleasure she has, 298 00:15:15,763 --> 00:15:17,698 Which is time with my daughter 299 00:15:17,732 --> 00:15:19,766 While she's suffering. 300 00:15:24,873 --> 00:15:28,375 I had the worst thought the other DA 301 00:15:28,409 --> 00:15:30,244 Tell me. 302 00:15:30,278 --> 00:15:32,713 No, Izzy's spending all of her time with Tricia. 303 00:15:32,747 --> 00:15:35,015 She hardly even takes my calls and when she does, 304 00:15:35,049 --> 00:15:38,652 She just guilt trips me about not being there for Trish 305 00:15:38,686 --> 00:15:41,989 Or being in the play. 306 00:15:42,023 --> 00:15:44,758 Go on. 307 00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:48,562 I thought... 308 00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:53,800 That maybe when Tricia's gone... 309 00:15:55,870 --> 00:15:58,772 Izzy will let me back into her life. 310 00:15:58,806 --> 00:16:01,475 You know, that she'll be mine again. 311 00:16:01,509 --> 00:16:03,510 Like when she was a little girl. 312 00:16:05,113 --> 00:16:08,248 Do you feel that Patricia has usurped your role 313 00:16:08,249 --> 00:16:10,217 As Izzy's mother? 314 00:16:10,251 --> 00:16:13,487 Do you feel that Patricia has usurped Izzy prefers her. 315 00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:15,289 Tricia's better at it. 316 00:16:15,323 --> 00:16:17,257 Yet because your sister's sick, 317 00:16:17,292 --> 00:16:20,527 You punish yourself for feeling resentful. 318 00:16:26,701 --> 00:16:29,336 Have you spoken to Patricia about any of this? 319 00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:34,174 Have you spoken to Patricia at all? 320 00:16:35,476 --> 00:16:38,178 Yeah, once to say hi. 321 00:16:40,315 --> 00:16:44,051 And did she tell you that she and I spoke? 322 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,256 When? 323 00:16:49,290 --> 00:16:52,793 I called her last Wednesday. 324 00:16:52,827 --> 00:16:55,462 The day after I came in. 325 00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,467 May I ask why? 326 00:17:00,501 --> 00:17:02,102 I just wanted to see how she was doing. 327 00:17:02,136 --> 00:17:04,404 I told her I heard she'd been ill, 328 00:17:04,439 --> 00:17:07,674 But I didn't say how I'd heard. 329 00:17:08,810 --> 00:17:11,311 She told me about the cancer. 330 00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:14,181 And I asked her if she had the support she needed 331 00:17:14,215 --> 00:17:16,316 And if she was seeing a therapist. 332 00:17:16,351 --> 00:17:19,620 - What did she say? - She is. 333 00:17:19,654 --> 00:17:22,322 See? Everything's fine. 334 00:17:22,357 --> 00:17:25,726 No conflict of interest. 335 00:17:27,929 --> 00:17:31,265 Did you tell her that I came in? 336 00:17:31,299 --> 00:17:34,601 I didn't mention you, no. 337 00:17:34,636 --> 00:17:36,837 And neither did she, which I thought was odd. 338 00:17:36,871 --> 00:17:39,673 Because last week you said 339 00:17:39,707 --> 00:17:43,577 That Patricia had recommended me to you. 340 00:17:43,611 --> 00:17:46,813 You said you'd asked her permission to see me 341 00:17:46,848 --> 00:17:50,617 And that she had given it to you. 342 00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:52,719 - Didn't say that. - You implied it. 343 00:17:52,754 --> 00:17:54,121 You led me to believe that. 344 00:17:54,155 --> 00:17:57,090 You certainly did nothing to correct my misconception. 345 00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:59,159 - You're trying to trap me. - Trap you? 346 00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:01,428 That sounds very conniving. 347 00:18:01,462 --> 00:18:04,865 - What, do you want to catch me in a lie? - Did I catch you in a lie? 348 00:18:05,933 --> 00:18:07,434 ( sighs ) 349 00:18:11,506 --> 00:18:13,440 I was afraid you wouldn't treat me. 350 00:18:19,914 --> 00:18:22,316 For your therapy to be effective, 351 00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:24,951 It's important that we be as honest 352 00:18:24,986 --> 00:18:27,187 As we can with each other. 353 00:18:27,221 --> 00:18:29,623 - Do you understand? - All right. 354 00:18:34,228 --> 00:18:37,264 I'm sorry. 355 00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:42,903 God, it sounds like we're in a relationship or something. 356 00:18:42,937 --> 00:18:44,404 Therapy is a relationship. 357 00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:47,841 You're getting the short end of the stick on this one. 358 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:50,210 Why? 359 00:18:50,244 --> 00:18:53,347 Well, all the crazy, none of the sex. 360 00:18:57,485 --> 00:18:59,820 I'll tell her. 361 00:18:59,854 --> 00:19:01,855 Before the next session. 362 00:19:01,889 --> 00:19:04,091 Okay, I promise. 363 00:19:05,593 --> 00:19:07,160 Okay. 364 00:19:10,331 --> 00:19:13,266 So do you know that if you test positive 365 00:19:13,301 --> 00:19:16,136 For the brca1 and your mother and your sister had breast cancer, 366 00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:19,339 You have a 90% chance that you'll get sick? 367 00:19:19,374 --> 00:19:21,608 This is the test Patricia's been wanting you to take. 368 00:19:21,642 --> 00:19:24,945 And it's one of the reasons why you've been avoiding seeing her. 369 00:19:24,979 --> 00:19:26,747 I made the appointment, 370 00:19:26,781 --> 00:19:29,282 So she can stop nagging me now. 371 00:19:29,317 --> 00:19:32,085 You know what they recommend 372 00:19:32,120 --> 00:19:34,955 If you test positive for the gene? 373 00:19:34,989 --> 00:19:36,823 Prophylactic mastectomy. 374 00:19:36,858 --> 00:19:39,993 That's removing both your breasts before you're sick. 375 00:19:40,027 --> 00:19:42,629 Doesn't matter what the result is. 376 00:19:42,663 --> 00:19:45,265 I'm not gonna have that operation. 377 00:19:45,299 --> 00:19:48,068 You wouldn't ever consider having it? 378 00:19:48,102 --> 00:19:50,804 My sister had to have mastectomies. She had cancer. 379 00:19:50,838 --> 00:19:53,039 The doctor said that was her best chance. 380 00:19:53,074 --> 00:19:55,809 She never thought about it. She had them removed. 381 00:19:55,843 --> 00:19:57,677 She never even had the reconstruction. 382 00:19:57,712 --> 00:20:00,013 She said it made her feel powerful, 383 00:20:00,047 --> 00:20:03,483 You know, to be herself, scars and all. 384 00:20:03,518 --> 00:20:05,652 Oh, it looks... 385 00:20:06,687 --> 00:20:08,688 What? 386 00:20:11,426 --> 00:20:14,561 Izzy and I went to see her when she came home from the hospital. 387 00:20:14,595 --> 00:20:17,597 She really wanted to show us her chest. 388 00:20:17,632 --> 00:20:20,834 I wanted to say no, but I couldn't. 389 00:20:23,304 --> 00:20:26,139 She just lifted up her shirt. 390 00:20:26,174 --> 00:20:28,708 There was horizontal slashes. 391 00:20:28,743 --> 00:20:31,411 I mean, I only looked for a second. 392 00:20:31,446 --> 00:20:33,947 Of course, Izzy scolded me later. 393 00:20:33,981 --> 00:20:35,482 She said, "mom, it's just skin." 394 00:20:35,516 --> 00:20:38,285 But I couldn't breathe. 395 00:20:38,319 --> 00:20:41,688 So I'd better test negative. 396 00:20:45,793 --> 00:20:48,829 If my life had been different, right? 397 00:20:48,863 --> 00:20:51,565 You know, if Russell would have stayed or... 398 00:20:53,201 --> 00:20:56,369 Couples, I think, get closer when stuff like this happens. 399 00:20:56,404 --> 00:20:58,171 But alone? 400 00:20:58,206 --> 00:21:00,841 51. 401 00:21:03,444 --> 00:21:05,912 Who would ever want me? 402 00:21:05,947 --> 00:21:09,015 How could they even see me? 403 00:21:10,952 --> 00:21:14,287 You know, would you? 404 00:21:19,694 --> 00:21:21,127 I'm sorry. 405 00:21:21,162 --> 00:21:23,630 I know I'm not supposed to ask you things like that. 406 00:21:23,664 --> 00:21:26,099 I didn't... just... 407 00:21:30,104 --> 00:21:32,873 You've... 408 00:21:32,907 --> 00:21:36,610 You've had a great deal of loss 409 00:21:36,644 --> 00:21:38,445 All at once. 410 00:21:38,479 --> 00:21:41,414 Russell, Izzy, now Patricia 411 00:21:41,449 --> 00:21:44,851 And the threat of losing your breasts, 412 00:21:44,886 --> 00:21:48,154 A part of your body that's erotic and maternal. 413 00:21:48,189 --> 00:21:50,624 And that comes at a time just as Izzy herself 414 00:21:50,658 --> 00:21:53,126 Is just starting to become a woman. 415 00:22:02,637 --> 00:22:06,573 Do you think I could just sit here a little bit longer? 416 00:22:07,909 --> 00:22:11,011 Thanks. 417 00:22:12,179 --> 00:22:14,814 ( sighs ) 418 00:22:17,051 --> 00:22:20,020 How long do I have about? 419 00:22:24,759 --> 00:22:26,993 All right. 420 00:22:30,298 --> 00:22:33,500 Come on. 421 00:22:35,536 --> 00:22:37,604 ( chuckles ) 422 00:22:39,607 --> 00:22:41,474 Thank you. 423 00:22:43,578 --> 00:22:46,746 You don't tell anybody that I come to see you, right? 424 00:22:46,781 --> 00:22:49,883 - Of course not. - Good. Don't. 425 00:22:49,917 --> 00:22:52,185 - Our secret. - Thanks. 426 00:22:59,727 --> 00:23:02,963 ( theme music playing ) 427 00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:06,964 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com