A Hannah Special's here once more.
Doo dah doo dah.
You won't believe what is in store.
Oh the doo dah day.
Secrets and romance.
I'll even do a dance.
[Rico grunting]
-Rico! -Rico!
Sorry.
We'll be here to help you through.
Doo dah doo dah.
Me, the dork, his girlfriend, too. Oh the doo dah day.
Don't call me a dork.
He's mad 'cause we're in love.
I was mad, but now I'm glad to give this friendly shove.
-Hey, don't shove him! -Yeah!
Are you just gonna let him shove you like that?
Come on. Come on. Ow!
Jesse I just don't want to make the same mistake I've made in the past, so
I just want to come right out and say it. I'm Hannah Montana.
Eh?
[Mimicking Jesse] Whoa dude, stop, you're blowing my mind!
I mean, you're Hannah, you're Miley, you're Hannah. Who am I dating?
You're tearing me apart.
Will you stop?
Will you? Why are we even rehearsing this?
I mean you've told the secret enough times.
I'm surprised the pizza delivery guy doesn't know. Mmm-hmm.
"Who ordered the meat lovers special?" "I did and I'm Hannah Montana!"
Oh stop sulking. You've been mad ever since I told Siena about the secret.
She didn't know who Lola was!
Get over it!
All right look at me! I wear Day-Glo wigs.
I dress like a Japanese cartoon character.
How can she not know who Lola is?
Come on she's dating Jackson.
She's one drumstick short of a jumbo bucket.
Now can we get back to the person with the real problem?
[Gasps] Lola's real to me.
Come on. Will you stop it?
Jesse will be here any minute and I need to practice.
Come on . will you stop it?
It's ruined too many relationships and I'm not gonna let it mess up this one.
Or you could not tell him and before you know it.
We're off to college together sharing a dorm room.
Where I have to listen to you complainin' about how bad you feel.
For not coming clean to Jesse and there's no place for me to hide.
Because I'm trapped with you in a 12-by-12 foot concrete cell.
That's filled with tear-soaked tissues dripping in snot!
On second thought, yeah, maybe you should tell him.
Well that was a long trip for nothing.
How long have you known me?
Point taken.
[Doorbell ringing]
Now get out of here.
No hang on. lf you're gonna tell him about Hannah.
I should tell him about Lola.
Lilly no one...
Cares! I get it. I get it.
Wow, I really want to tell you you get more beautiful.
Every time I see you.
But that'd be going against my brooding rocker image.
So I'm just gonna say: hey.
That works for me.
Oh, sweet niblets, can't you at least warn a guy?
Good thing I got that Smokey and the Bandit marathon running on cable.
You sounded a little nervous on the phone. Is everything okay?
[Sighs] I'm fine.
Uh-oh. Walking me to the couch. This can't be good.
No. I just...
I have something really important I need to tell you and...
You could be mad. Really mad.
But I just care about you too much to not tell you that...
That you're Hannah Montana?
Please don't interrupt me. This is really... Huh?
I know you're Hannah Montana.
How? It was that blabbermouth Siena, wasn't it?
Didn't need any help on this one. You both have the same beautiful eyes.
And amazing smile.
And then there's the fact that I told Miley that my dad.
Was stationed overseas and then two days later.
Hannah had a concert for kids whose parents were stationed overseas.
Hmm.
I was hoping you'd think that was just a coinkydink.
Come on six years and the rest of the world hasn't put it together.
Well the rest of the world isn't in love with Miley Stewart.
You're in love with me?
Yeah.
Um...
Unless you're not in love with me then I take that back.
Because, you know, I'm cool.
Aw.
Oh. Hey Lola.
Yes! Yes! Finally! Somebody knows Lola!
I always liked him. All right bye.
This is awesome.
Now you can be back in the band and we can be together all the time.
Ooh. Just one simple rule. Just 'cause you're mushy on Miley.
Don't mean you can be huggy on Hannah.
What?
Come on, I can't have the world thinking that Hannah steals.
A boyfriend even though she wouldn't be stealing.
Her boyfriend 'cause my boyfriend is her boyfriend.
Which brings me right back to... what?
You're dating Miley, not Hannah.
Got it. You just tell me which one to kiss.
This one.
Okay the two minute kissing window is now closed.
-Dad. -Come on Mr. Stewart.
[Grunting] Look at this Jesse. Your horoscope says.
You are dangerously close to a slow painful death.
Now come on get the TV on. It's time for the monkey to drive.
When you ask do you wanna dance.
My Barefoot Cinderella.
Don't need no slippers or a party dress.
The way you're looking right now is what I like the best.
And then you'll say do you wanna take a chance.
And stay with me forever.
No one'll ever be more beautiful.
My barefoot, barefoot Cinderella.
[Audience cheering]
[Music stops]
You rocked.
Not hard when I'm with you.
Hey, hey, hey. I'm Hannah.
Hannah Montana ladies and gentlemen.
And apparently her new boyfriend. Why is it always the guitar player?
Why not a nice cameraman like my nephew Lenny?
But seriously, I'm happy for you Hannah. And what's your name?
Ah, you don't wanna know my name.
Come on. You kissed her on national TV.
What are you shy all of a sudden? Come on what's your name?
-Jesse. -Jesse! There you have it.
Hannah and Jesse America's new sweethearts.
Good night everybody. Bye, bye. Thanks for watching.
Bye.
[Audience cheering]
[Miley whooping]
Here we go everybody!
[Singing] Come on!
You get the limo out front.
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color.
Yeah, when you're famous it can be kind of fun.
It's really you but no one ever discovers.
Who would have thought that a girl like me.
A girl like me.
Would double as a superstar?
[Whooping]
You get the best of both worlds.
Chill it out, take it slow.
Then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds.
Mix it all together.
And you know that it's the best of both worlds.
[Laughing]
[Singing] Jesse's back in the band but then things got out of hand.
He gave Hannah a kiss. Something the world didn't miss.
On Leno.
Hannah Montana was getting frozen yogurt yesterday.
Did you hear about this? Did you hear about this?
When asked why she got both chocolate and vanilla.
She said she wanted the best of both swirls.
Did you hear about this?
[Singing] Now Mile and Jesse can't date.
Is that a problem?
Just wait.
Who cares? My Leno was great.
This is the guy that you date. So sad.
Wow this thing is everywhere.
Hannah and Jesse, America's new sweethearts.
Good night, everybody. Bye, bye. Thanks for watching.
Oh great I just took over "most viewed" from "Kitty Cat Flushing a Toilet."
Uh that just means that you're bigger than.
"Meow, meow." Flush. "Meow, meow." Flush.
[Whispers] You should be proud.
What was I thinking inviting Jesse back in the band?
I mean Hannah's irresistible. There's no way that he could.
Go against her feminine charms.
I just want to go home put the wig on.
And smack that home wrecker in the face.
You know as much as I'd love to see how that works.
I think you're freaking out for no reason.
I mean you can still date Jesse as Miley just not in public.
Why does my life have to be so complicated?
Oh yeah.
Poor little most famous 17-year-old in the whole world.
Now will you just focus on the positives okay?
We're both going to college together we both have wonderful boyfriends.
-Except for you're more... -No.
No cracks about Oliver until I find something.
Equally embarrassing about Jesse.
Good luck with that.
Yeah I know. Well it's not that big a deal.
It's not like Hannah Montana hasn't complicated your life before.
Yeah. And I dealt with it then and I'll deal with it now.
-Hey there you are. -Jesse!
Whoa, whoa, dude!
You're that guy dating Hannah Montana. Did you know that?
Yeah I saw it on Leno.
[Laughs] Me too! Up top bro!
Yeah.
Jesse what are you doing here?
Casual acquaintance and platonic friend.
-Nice. -Your dad told me you were at the pier.
I just had some great news I had to tell you.
I can't wait aforementioned casual acquaintance and platonic friend.
Overkill.
My dad's coming home from overseas.
My gosh Jesse that's great.
Miley.
Dang it.
Hey it's okay. I don't think anybody noticed.
One at a time bro.
Oh, Hannah Montana's new boyfriend, Jesse,
Apparently caught cheating today.
Ooh!
Yeah, yeah. Hannah's response: "Nobody's perfect,
But this guy's a super, super jerk".
Oh man. My mom watches Leno.
Well if it makes you feel any better.
Both Miley and Hannah love their "super, super jerk".
Well I'm glad you think this is funny.
But you're not the one who's a talk show punch line?
You're a cute punch line. Oh Jesse, come on!
Oh come on Jesse. I know it's my fault but...
Okay this is where you say "No it's not your fault honey.
We're in this together".
Let me try it again. Jesse I know it's my fault but...
Your turn. Doesn't have to be "honey". Could be "lamb chop cupcake..."
Miley.
Oh come on. You can do better than that.
You don't get it.
Everybody in America knows me as the super, super jerk.
Who broke Hannah Montana's heart?
Everybody? Now come on, you're being a little dramatic.
I mean the people that know you and love you don't feel that way.
[Cell phone buzzing]
Really? My 5-year-old niece just texted me this.
"Uncle Jesse, you're a big fat stinking... ooh!"
How does she know that word?
And my grandma's weighing in.
Probably just to say that she loves you and that everything's gonna be okay.
Yeow! Now you know where your little niece got the trucker mouth.
Look Jesse you had to know that dating me.
Was sometimes gonna be a pain in the...
Well I'm not your grandma so I'm just gonna say complicated.
Dating me would be a pain in the complicated.
But I'm worth it, aren't I?
Again this is where you say "No..."
What? What do I say? And to which one of you?
Because if I'm dating Hannah, now I'm cheating on Miley.
And if I'm dating Miley, then I'm the jerk who broke Hannah Montana's heart.
Either way I'm just... [Cell phone buzzing]
And that's my mom.
Ooh well if we ever get married, she is not gonna be baby-sitting the triplets.
I have very specific fortune cookies?
Would you stop joking about this?
Listen, Jesse sometimes joking about it is the only way that I get through it.
You just stepped into this. This has been my life for six years.
Please let's just forget about it.
Come on. Pizza, a movie, anything. Let's go.
Pizza and a movie is not gonna fix this.
Maybe you're right. Ice cream and bowling. Let's go!
Miley. I'm sorry, maybe you can deal with this but...
Please don't say it.
...I can't.
So you're just gonna walk away from us?
As long as there's two of you I don't think there can be an "us".
[Sighs]
You know dad I really thought that Jesse was different.
I thought he could handle all this.
Ah you just gotta give the boy some time Mile.
If he really loves you, he'll be back.
If he really loves that pretty boy face of his, he won't be.
Daddy.
Oh I'm sorry honey. I just hate seeing you this hurt.
Truth is whether you're ready to hear it or not if he comes back that's great.
And if he doesn't, there'll be other boys.
I keep praying there won't be but there always are.
I don't know. Maybe I should just give up guys for good.
Oh now you're just teasing me.
Honey the truth is life has a funny way of working things out.
One door closes, another one opens.
All you've got to be ready to tell yourself is...
[Screaming excitedly]
When your daughter asks if her best friend can live with you.
Think about it for more than a second.
[Continues screaming]
And then say no.
Is it?
Stanford Admissions Offices!
Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!
Thank you.
Aw look at that honey. You've already forgot about Jesse.
[Crying] Jesse.
Aw I'm sorry. I just meant...
[Grunting] Zip it!
Look nothing personal but sometimes you just...
Have a tendency to be a big dumb daddy?
I would never say that because you let me live here.
But because you said it, oh yeah!
Now look Miley.
Jesse... that guy your dad just mentioned.
Is your past and these letters are your future.
I guess you're right.
Of course I'm right! Okay now we'll open them on three, ready?
One, two.
Three!
I didn't get in.
I didn't either.
Oh I'm sorry girls. I'm sorry you both didn't.
Well Lilly yours says you got accepted.
No, it doesn't.
I just read that.
No, no. No it doesn't. No. How can you read it?
It's just moving all over the place.
Let me see that Lilly.
I'm sorry. But I mean how much more bad news can you take?
I mean you just found out you don't get to go to college.
With your best friend the day after you get rejected.
By the best boyfriend you ever had. And now you've got an eye twitch.
But my grades are awesome. I killed it on the SAT.
This is so not fair!
I know. I mean I guess that stuff just wasn't important to Jesse.
And Stanford accepted you?
Lilly stand extremely still and don't let her sense your fear.
There has got to be some kind of mistake!
Lilly and I have just about the same grades.
And she only did a little bit better on the SAT.
And that's because my energy drink made me have to tinkle twice.
And Lilly can hold it like a camel!
I must say the fact that you just drove 200 miles.
To plead your case is very impressive.
That's the kind of character we look for here at Stanford.
We're going to be very sad not having you here. Cookie?
This isn't fair. I am being discriminated against.
Because I have a small bladder.
And we are not a group that you want picketing in your lobby.
I'm really sorry Miss Stewart but the difference.
Between you and your friend isn't academic or fluid related.
Miss Truscott held part-time jobs, she was a cheerleader.
She was on the volleyball team The skateboard club the surf club.
And you.
Were a tricycle-riding pirate mascot for half a basketball game.
And in 12th grade you climbed a rope.
That sucker went all the way to the ceiling.
Yes I think you mentioned that in your essay.
"To the Ceiling and Back: A Girl, a Rope and a Dream."
Which was exactly the required 500 words.
And Lilly's was 502.
Just saying, rule follower, rule breaker.
Miley you are an excellent student.
But you don't have any extra-curricular activities.
And here at Stanford we're looking for students with a skosh more.
But come on you have to let me in. This is the only college I applied to.
This is the only school you applied to?
You know on one hand that could sound incredibly dumb.
But on the other hand it could be a display of admirable school spirit.
Doesn't show up on a test but honey at the pep rally.
I will skosh you up one side and down the other.
Go Stanford! Whoo-hoo!
Huh-uh! Whoo-hoo! Hey!
Okay, please. I appreciate your enthusiasm.
But all right tell me something you've done in the last four years.
That's the least bit out of the ordinary.
Other than that bizarre "Stanford whoo" thing.
Are you kidding me?
The last four years of my life have been anything but ordinary.
Wonderful. How?
I...
...can't tell you.
Then I can't reconsider your application.
But if I could tell you You'd be all "nuh-uh."
And I'd be like "yuh-huh."
And you'd be like "no way". I'd be like "yeah way".
Wait, please. I never even got a cookie.
[Singing] If you're wondering what she'll do.
Now that her plans have fallen through.
And you know she's got a real strong will.
And she's got lots more show to fill.
Now she's going, going back to Malibu.
We kinda thought we'd be singing, too.
Instead we're stuck in her chorus line.
[Chuckles]
'Cause your agent's not as good as mine.
Wait, wait, if Miley leaves, we have no ride.
Hey Miley how far away are you?
I'm turning into the driveway and I'll be in in a second.
Hey I know you're disappointed so I'm making your favorite dinner.
Mac and cheese and bacon!
That's your favorite dad.
You know the way she's feeling, that probably wouldn't have made any difference anyway.
This way at least one of us will be happy.
I heard that.
Hey you're not supposed to be talking while you're driving!
Well I already lost Jesse to Hannah. And now I can't go to college.
Because I was busy selling out stadiums.
And meeting the Queen of England.
Instead of holding a spit bucket for the girls wrestling team!
Ow!
Look I know. I was really thinking about this.
You know what if you said you were Hannah Montana's assistant?
I mean that way you still did all the stuff but as her assistant.
You couldn't have thought of that 200 miles ago?
[Singing to the tune of "On the Road Again"]
In the car again.
Miley Stewart's back in the car again.
Driving places she has already been.
Miley's arriving back to school again.
Yee-haw!
Today our topic is heartbreak and disappointment.
Who out there has lost a boyfriend recently or a good friend.
Or maybe didn't get into the college they wanted to get into?
I.
Nice try honey.
I'm a visual manifestation of your over-stressed subconscious.
And I'm with you for the next 200 miles.
So you're a mess. Let's start from there.
Hannah Montana's assistant? That sounds fascinating.
Why didn't you include that in your application?
Miss Montana likes me to keep it very low profile.
She's very classy and even prettier in person.
I must say this could change everything.
Yes! Oh, are you gonna finish that sandwich?
I've been driving all day.
-Please. -Thanks.
Now we're just gonna need some proof of employment.
Some what?
Some pay stubs tax records.
Just something I can submit to the board.
Miss Montana pays in cash.
Is proving this going to be a problem?
Of course not.
[Growls]
How'd it go?
Stupid proof of employment. Tax stubs.
No cookie. I drove 200 miles just to say...
You want proof Cookie Lady I'll show you proof.
Hey uh why didn't you just use the emergency Hannah kit.
You keep in your car?
Because I forgot!
[Mimicks cat snarling]
Yes Miley the directions you gave me were perfect as usual.
Now if I could just find that incredibly competent and extremely attractive.
Admissions woman that you described.
[Gasps] Oh wait there she is.
You are the best. Kiss, kiss. Bye.
Hi. Miley Stewart best assistant any international pop sensation.
Has ever had. You must be Mrs. Jameson.
Oh my goodness it really is you.
Oh I thought she was just one of those desperate types.
That would do or say anything to get in.
I mean she did this "Stanford whoo" thing that was.
Well borderline creepy.
I'll pass that along.
The girl loves constructive criticism.
Plays well with others and is an avid flossier.
Healthy gums, healthy mind.
Now if you could just give me that orientation package.
I'll take it with me help save you the postage.
-Miss Montana... -No worries.
It's just my way of contributing to higher education.
But I will need a receipt for tax purposes.
It isn't that. It's apparently Miley misunderstood.
I didn't say this would get her in I said we'd reconsider.
But even if we do accept her, she goes to the end of the waiting list.
[Stammering] The waiting list?
Oh well look Miley is a wonderful applicant it's just that the information.
Came a little late and the board only makes exceptions.
In very rare cases.
Well like for example if you were applying.
Me?
Well of course. Having someone of your accomplishments here.
Would be a wonderful addition to the university.
So I could get in no problem?
Well assuming you had Miley's grades and SAT scores.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I am very tired here so I need to get this clear.
This may sound crazy. Let me get this right.
If Miley and I were somehow I don't know.
Smooshed into the same person, we could get in?
[Laughs] Well if you put it like that I guess you would.
Unfortunately that's not the case.
Although oddly enough You do have the same eye twitch.
That's not the only thing we have in common.
It just so happens that Miley and I are.
The same.
Sign of the zodiac.
Sagittarius, which means we're the fire sign.
And over-excitable eyelids. I gotta go.
[Door closes]
[Singing to the tune of "Singing"]
Problems.
She's got nothing but problems.
She's lost Jesse and Lilly.
All because of the wig.
If she came clean.
All her problems would just go away.
Or would they just begin?
[Mimicking cats screeching]
She's going to be home any minute.
And I don't know what to say to make her feel better.
I know, I know. It's terrible.
Seriously? You're scraping the crusty bits off the sides now?
I'm sorry but I'm an emotional eater.
Hang on, hang on. All right look the recipe says it serves 12.
I had one and a half you dropped one on the floor.
That means you had nine-and-a-half servings!
Well excuse me Little Miss Solve-Your-Fancy-Math-Problems.
I-Got-Into-Stanford- and-Your-Daughter-Didn't.
[Gasps]
You lashed out at me.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to. Here.
Like I would want that.
Oh. Okay.
Dang my generation's foolish beliefs that food can make the pain go away.
[Taking deep breath]
Oh, it's okay. It's all right, I mean, we're jumping on each other.
Because you know we feel helpless and there's nothing we can do.
Although frankly a little bit more you than me.
Well excuse me but I don't think I recall throwing macaroni fractions.
In your face.
Oh, do you wanna go?
-Is this how it's going to be? Is this how it's going to be? -That's the way it's gonna be, yeah. Come on.
Oh, all right I can't hear you with that in your mou... hi.
Hey.
-How you doing bud? -I'm miserable.
I'm so hungry the only thing that got me through the last 20 miles.
Was thinking about shoveling in.
That big old bowl of mac and cheese and bacon.
She normally doesn't eat it.
You ate it all?
Yes, but he dropped some on the floor and I threw it in the trash.
-But it's right on top so... -Uh...
I ate that too.
This is the worst day ever.
I lost my Jesse and now I'm gonna be stuck.
At Malibu Community College without you.
And the only reason I'm going to get any mac and cheese and bacon.
Is if dad regurgitates it like a mama robin.
Hey darling don't worry. I'm gonna fix this.
How about I make you a nice omelet? What would you like in it?
My Jesse and an acceptance letter to Stanford.
And maybe some chives and salted mushrooms.
Coming right up.
-Miley? -What?
Look you're not gonna go to Malibu Community College alone.
[Sobbing] You're right.
I'll be with Jackson!
No, no. You're not gonna be with Jackson.
You're gonna be with me.
What?
Yeah, I mean, if you can't go to Stanford until next year.
Then I won't go to Stanford until next year.
But you've been thinking about this for like forever.
Yeah and didn't you just order the official Stanford coffee mug.
Mouse pad combo pack?
Don't you have an omelet to make, mister?
[Sighs] No wonder Oliver's always on tour.
Boy's not as dumb as I thought he was.
[Sighs]
Look, you're right, I mean, I have always wanted to go there.
But I've always wanted to go there with you.
And you know I can do that next year.
But it's such a sacrifice.
Yeah, but look what you've done for me.
I mean, you've taken me into your house.
-Uh, whose house? -Omelet!
Yes ma'am.
And you let me be Lola.
I get to ride around in limos and private jets.
And live the rock star life. I mean, I can never repay you for all of that.
-True. -That didn't require a response.
Sorry. Go on.
Look the point is I just want to do this for you.
So please let me.
-You really are the best friend ever. -I know.
Aw, if grown men could only hug like teenage girls.
There'd be no more wars.
When I ask, do you wanna dance?
My barefoot Cinderella.
Jesse!
Don't need no slippers or a party dress.
The way you're looking right now is what I like the best.
Singers, actors, just once a kid that wants to be a doctor.
-Hi. -Hey.
Listen I've been thinking. Being with you.
It's a real headache.
And it's hard, it's complicated.
I mean, it's a lot of work.
I'm starting to think the song outside my door.
Was a little bit misleading.
I'm not finished.
Being with you might be all those things.
But the only thing worse is not being with you.
Did that get to you like it got to me?
Yeah, a little.
Guys with guitars.
Why do the ladies find us so dang irresistible?
Are you sure you're ready for all this?
I was ready for all this the first time I met you.
I just didn't know it.
Now come on I think I owe you pizza and a movie.
-I mean if you're hungry. -Are you kidding?
Right now I'm torn between kissing you.
And checking the bottom of your shoe to see if you stepped in a donut.
Let me just ditch Hannah.
What about your omelet?
Sorry dad. Love you but I got to go.
I know pizza-boyfriend beats omelet-daddy every time.
Thank you.
Yes!
[Singing to the tune of William Tell Overture]
-She's got her guy -Her best friend, too.
-Her life seems great -That can't be true.
We've still got lots more show to do.
Wash your hands to prevent the flu.
[Horse neighing]
What? It rhymes. And it's a good message for the kids.
[Continues singing] You'll never guess what happens next.
It twists and turns and gets complex.
It's fun, it's sad, it's something new.
-My legs are sore -My butt is, too.
[Groans in pain]
Stop bouncing so much.
[Humming]
[Singing] My Barefoot Cinderella.
Got my Jesse and a pizza yeah, life's a breeze.
Gonna get a deep dish with extra cheese.
Oh. [Chuckles]
Twelve-hundred miles and you still look like you just drove off the lot.
How do you do it?
Pretty much getting everything you want, aren't you?
Yes I...
-Pretty freaky, isn't it? -Oh boy.
Man I can't believe you're gonna try to solve your problems.
By letting your friends make all the sacrifices for you.
I thought your father and l raised you better than that.
[Scoffs] I didn't make them do anything. They did it on their own.
Oh yeah.
I'm sure Lilly really wants to give up her opportunity to go to Stanford.
Come on. It's just for this year.
We'll go together next year.
If she gets in again.
And there's no guarantee that she will and you darn well know that.
[Softly] Keep it down. They'll hear you.
I'm in your head!
[Loudly] I can talk as loud as I want to!
[Groaning] All right, all right.
-Jeez! I'm annoying sometimes. -Tell me about it.
And what about Jesse?
Do you really think he's happy about being despised.
By millions of people for breaking my heart?
Ha-ha! You said my heart.
We have the same heart and I know it's not broken.
What do I have to say to that, huh?
I'll tell you what I have to say.
If you go on letting your friends do this for you.
Sure they seem okay with it now.
But deep down inside they're going to hate you for it.
Hallucination brought on by over-tiredness say what?
Do not "say what" me. I invented that.
Oh please that was so me.
Do you really want to have this argument?
No.
'Cause I know it was me.
Now my friends are not gonna hate me.
So just poof right back in my head where you belong.
They're gonna hate you they're gonna hate you.
-Oh real mature. -Oh real mature.
[Both muttering]
[Mimicking Miley]
I cannot believe I'm having this argument with myself.
[Groans]
Let me ask you something son.
You ever thought about medical school?
Law school?
Any school?
[Clicks tongue]
Of course not.
Sorry I took so long.
Sometimes it takes a while to shake off Hannah.
It's cool. No worries.
Oh, I get it, I get it! Your stupid secret always comes first.
-What? -I said no worries. You ready to go?
Yeah, right. Lilly do you want to come with us?
Oh yeah that'd be great.
Pizza and a movie, that totally makes up for making me.
Throw away the college of my dreams.
Just 'cause of your miserable stinking secret!
But you said you were okay with it.
I am. I just said I wanted to go, didn't l?
-Yeah, right. -Yeah come on you must be starving.
And I can't wait.
To just go out there and get ripped apart by an angry mob of Hannah fans!
Yeah but who cares about us.
As long as Little Miss Center-of-the-Universe is happy!
-It's always about you! -Always!
-You! -You!
[Echoing]
So who wants to drive?
Will you stop it?
Come on Lilly just come out and say what you're really thinking.
Well I was thinking: who wants to drive?
And now I'm thinking maybe I should.
I'm not talking about who's driving.
I'm talking about the secret!
You both hate it and you hate what it's doing to your lives!
Just admit it!
Everything would be so much easier for you if I just told the world who I was!
Oh come on Mile. Nobody ever said that.
But they're thinking it dad! Aren't you?
-Well I mean... -Maybe a little.
But hey, look, that doesn't matter.
I mean this is your life.
And we're just trying to make you happy.
Oh yeah.
Be nice and guilt me into telling the secret.
Well it's not gonna work.
I just can't do it, okay?
[Sighs] I can't.
[Door closes]
[Vocalizing]
[Singing] The secret's messy, it's hurting Lilly and Jesse.
Now she's all, now she's all.
Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place.
All because she has a secret.
Now she's all, now she's all.
Poor little Miley's in a sad, sad place.
All because she has a secret.
You've had yourself quite a day, ain't you, bud?
I seem to be having more and more of those lately.
Gosh look at me dad.
Being two people seemed like such a great idea back then.
Yeah.
That's because it was a great idea.
It gave you the chance to kind of...
I know, live a normal life.
It doesn't seem to be doing such a bang-up job anymore.
Well honey nothing stays the same forever.
It's kind of like a mullet.
A thing of beauty in its day.
But I tell you what sooner or later even the party in the back has to end.
Are you telling me that I need to give up Hannah Montana?
No. I could never do that.
Neither could Jesse or Lilly.
The only one that could ever answer that would have to be you.
Please don't say listen to my heart.
-Darling it's just... -Or my kidney or my spleen.
Or any other vital organs.
Then what do you want me to tell you?
I want you to tell me that...
If I give up Hannah, everything will be okay.
But I can't do that.
What I can tell you is you'll be able to go to that school with Lilly.
You'll be able to go out with Jesse without half the world hating him.
You will have to give up your privacy.
No matter where you go peoples are gonna recognize you.
And they're gonna treat you different.
Is it worth it?
Only you can decide that.
[Door closes]
[I'll Always Remember You playing]
I always knew this day would come.
We'd be standing one by one.
With our future in our hands.
So many dreams, so many plans.
I always knew after all these years.
There'd be laughter, there'd be tears.
But never thought I'd walk away.
With so much joy but so much pain.
And it's so hard to say goodbye.
But yesterday's gone.
We've got to keep moving on.
I'm so thankful for the moments.
So glad I got to know you.
The times that we had.
I'll keep like a photograph.
And hold you in my heart forever.
I'll always remember you.
Another chapter in the book.
Can't go back but you can look.
And there we are on every page.
Memories I'll always save.
Up ahead only open doors.
Who knows what we're heading towards.
I wish you love, I wish you luck.
For you the world just opens up.
But it's so hard to say goodbye.
Yesterday's gone.
We've got to keep moving on.
I'm so thankful for the moments.
So glad I got to know you.
The times that we had.
I'll keep like a photograph.
And hold you in my heart forever.
I'll always remember you.
Every day that we had all the good, all the bad.
I'll keep 'em here inside.
All the times that we shared every place, everywhere.
You touched my life.
Yeah, one day we'll look back we'll smile and we'll laugh.
But right now we just cry.
'Cause it's so hard to say goodbye.
Yesterday's gone.
We've got to keep moving on.
I'm so thankful for the moments.
So glad I got to know you.
The times that we had.
I'll keep like a photograph.
And hold you in my heart forever.
I'll always remember you.
[Mouthing] Thank you.
So Hannah you said you had some big news for us.
Half of our staff thinks you're running for governor.
The other half thinks you're going back on Flitter.
And Lenny hoping you're back for him.
No, no, and Lenny, get a life.
I mean, what is that? I don't want to be pushy.
But I've never had the same person on twice in one week.
Actually, Jay, that's still kind of true.
I'm not the same person.
No. No of course you're not.
[Whistles]
I think it would be easier this way.
Where are you going? What are you doing?
Hey Lenny, I'm starting to think you dodged a bullet with this chick.
[All murmuring]
I wrote this song about
An 11-year-old girl who wanted to be a rock star.
But she also wanted a normal life, so
She pretended to be somebody else and
That was great for a little while, but
She's 17 now and life is even more complicated.
And she just doesn't want to pretend anymore.
Her name is Miley Stewart.
[Audience gasps]
Whoa. Take that kitty cat flushing a toilet!
[Laughing]
Anyway.
It's been a long time since I've sung without my friend here, so
I hope you like it.
[Singing "Wherever I Go"] Oh, yeah.
Here we are now.
Everything's about to change.
We face tomorrow as we say goodbye to yesterday.
A chapter ending but the story is only just begun.
A page is turning for everyone.
So I'm moving on, letting go.
Holding on to tomorrow.
I've always got the memories.
While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be.
We might be apart but I hope you always know.
You'll be with me wherever I go.
Wherever I go.
So excited I can barely even catch my breath.
We have each other to lean on for the road ahead.
This happy ending is the start of all our dreams.
And I know your heart is with me.
So I'm moving on, letting go.
Holding on to tomorrow.
I've always got the memories.
While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be.
We might be apart but I hope you always know.
You'll be with me wherever I go.
It's time to show the world we've got something to stay.
A song to sing out that will never fade away.
I know I'll miss you but we'll meet again someday.
We'll never fade away.
So I'm moving on, letting go.
Holding on to tomorrow.
I've always got the memories.
While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be.
We might be apart but I hope you always know.
You'll be with me.
So I'm moving on, letting go.
Holding on to tomorrow.
I've always got the memories.
While I'm finding out who I'm gonna be.
We might be apart but I hope you always know.
You'll be with me.
Yeah, wherever I go.
Wherever I, wherever I go.
[Music stops]
[Audience cheering]
Whoo!
[Singing to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star]
It used to be that no one knew.
Except a very, very few.
-Lilly. -Ollie.
-Jesse. -Jake.
That one was a big mistake.
I think that's it except for you.
And all of Crowley Corners, too.