1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,228 Here's what you missed on Glee. 2 00:00:03,303 --> 00:00:05,897 Puck tried to steal an A. T.M. And got stuck in juvie. 3 00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:07,371 As far as badasses go, I'm number "wah." 4 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,965 Sam and Quinn are sort of a couple, and so are Mike and Tina. 5 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,910 Artie and Brittany went out. He sort of dumped her. Now he sort of wants her back. 6 00:00:12,979 --> 00:00:15,413 Kurt's pretty lonely all by himself, and so is Coach Beiste. 7 00:00:15,482 --> 00:00:17,973 Sue keeps trying to get her to quit. She even baked her cookies. 8 00:00:18,051 --> 00:00:19,541 Are those dog poop cookies? 9 00:00:19,619 --> 00:00:21,246 That's what you missed on Glee. 10 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,389 Ooh! 11 00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:36,435 Dude. How do you stand that cold tub? 12 00:00:36,503 --> 00:00:38,334 I'm used to cold showers dating Quinn. 13 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:45,342 Mm-mmm. 14 00:00:46,012 --> 00:00:47,411 No. 15 00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:48,777 How about a little somethin'-somethin'? 16 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,476 A little something-something always leads to something more. 17 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,485 I've been there. Remember? 18 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:57,649 When we're prom king and queen, it'll feel just as good as a little something-something. 19 00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:02,656 Been there, dude. Actually, still there now, but- 20 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:06,358 How do we find the only two girls in high school that won't put out? 21 00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,862 What do you do though? 22 00:01:09,502 --> 00:01:11,902 Well, easy. 23 00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:14,838 I just think about the opposite of what I'm doing. 24 00:01:24,818 --> 00:01:27,150 Oh, my God! 25 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:34,124 I've never actually almost killed a civil servant before. 26 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,792 Well, you have to find something to be your own buzz kill. 27 00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:42,164 You know, something that is totally not hot. 28 00:01:42,235 --> 00:01:46,001 I don't care! If you're on this football team, you'll wear a cup. 29 00:01:46,072 --> 00:01:48,199 Hey, ever notice that when the Beiste gets all fired up... 30 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,003 her underpants go right up her butt? 31 00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:51,668 ...in your groin with that helmet? 32 00:01:51,744 --> 00:01:54,235 You think The Nutcracker is just a musical? 33 00:01:54,314 --> 00:01:56,646 - Do you want some 200-pound- - Looks like I found my mailman. 34 00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:58,707 Yes, you did. 35 00:02:04,224 --> 00:02:07,523 I take it we have a lot of sweater trains to look forward to this season. 36 00:02:11,030 --> 00:02:12,520 Are you okay? 37 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:15,864 Yeah. Fine. 38 00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:23,441 All right, guys. Let's get down to business. 39 00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:26,138 First, let's welcome back Noah Puckerman. 40 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:31,681 Puck, I hope your time in juvie has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong. 41 00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:33,685 Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. 44 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:41,393 And now, drumroll, Finn... 45 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:45,192 because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month. 46 00:02:45,265 --> 00:02:47,563 - First, the a cappella choir... 47 00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,966 from the all-boys private school in Westerville... 48 00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,628 the Dalton Academy Warblers. 49 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:53,035 - All right. - Yeah! 50 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,664 Okay. Hold up. 51 00:02:54,741 --> 00:02:57,266 Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head. 52 00:02:57,343 --> 00:03:00,312 And the other team to beat, the Hipsters... 53 00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:04,349 a first-year club from the Warren Township continuing education program. 54 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:06,784 Now, they are a glee club composed entirely... 55 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,151 of elderly people getting their high school G.E.D.'s. 56 00:03:09,222 --> 00:03:12,419 - Is that legal? - How are we supposed to compete against adorable old people? 57 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,426 Are you kidding? Brittle bones. 58 00:03:14,494 --> 00:03:17,486 Give one of those old ladies a good-luck pat on the rear, it'll shatter her pelvis. 59 00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,429 - Moving on. Since it seemed... 60 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,399 to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year... 61 00:03:21,467 --> 00:03:23,162 I want to make this week... 62 00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:25,636 our second-annual boys versus girls tournament. 63 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,275 So, split up into two groups... 64 00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:32,334 and figure out what songs you're gonna sing. 65 00:03:32,412 --> 00:03:36,906 Okay. I have mashup ideas in my emergency mashup list. 66 00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:39,952 Kurt, gonna say it again. Boys' team. 67 00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:42,146 Okay. How about you put your suggestions- 68 00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,417 I say we do a whole AC/DC medley. 69 00:03:44,490 --> 00:03:47,982 The lead guitarist drops his pants at every concert. 70 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:56,068 I know it's not my place to ask, but can you push me down the back staircase? 71 00:03:56,135 --> 00:03:58,695 My injury should be the same, but it's more lightly populated... 72 00:03:58,805 --> 00:04:00,705 so the humiliation won't be as bad. 73 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,265 Relax. I'm here to take care of you. You're my boy now. 74 00:04:03,343 --> 00:04:04,833 I don't understand. 75 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,573 I got out of juvie early because I agreed to do community service. 76 00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:10,013 But I ain't picking up trash along the freeway. That's ghetto. 77 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:14,349 So I told my probie officer that I knew a cripple that needed some help, and she went for it. 78 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,854 - I'm your community service? - There's no way I'm going back to juvie. 79 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,892 There's no chicks and no kosher meal options up in that place. 80 00:04:19,959 --> 00:04:22,018 Cool. So we're, like, friends. 81 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,064 Slow down, Professor X. I never said anything about liking you. 82 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:28,032 Now shut up right quick. We're gonna steal some food from the cafeteria. 83 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,830 This chair's a great place for hiding stuff. 84 00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:33,533 What is your problem? 85 00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:36,237 You talking back to me? 86 00:04:36,309 --> 00:04:38,072 - You want a piece of the Fury? - The Fury? 87 00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:40,578 - That's what I named my fist. - Ooh. With that level of creativity... 88 00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,672 you could easily become assistant manager at a rendering plant. 89 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:45,912 I don't know what that is, but if I find out it's bad... 90 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:48,044 the Fury's gonna find you. 91 00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,655 Is there anything that I could do? 92 00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,897 No. This is my hill to climb alone. 93 00:05:05,004 --> 00:05:06,904 Can I be honest? 94 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:08,907 I think it's getting to you. 95 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:11,034 Usually this stuff rolls right off your back. 96 00:05:11,110 --> 00:05:14,546 But lately you've been belligerent, angry, pushing people away. 97 00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,514 Can I be honest with you? 98 00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:20,643 You, like everyone else at this school, are too quick to let homophobia slide. 99 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,711 And your lesson plans are boring and repetitive. 100 00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:25,883 Boys versus girls? That doesn't challenge any of us. 101 00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:28,756 You mean because I didn't let you join the girls like you wanted. 102 00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:32,059 To answer your question, yes, I'm unhappy. 103 00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:36,261 And yes, being the only out gay kid at this school gets me down. 104 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,395 But most of all... 105 00:05:38,471 --> 00:05:40,439 I'm not challenged in the least here. 106 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,040 I'm not tossing the baby out with the bathwater here. 107 00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:47,841 I've totally done that. 108 00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:49,814 We're just making an adjustment. 109 00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:51,440 Boys, you are now doing songs... 110 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:53,451 traditionally sung by girl groups. 111 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:57,387 And, girls, try some classic rock. The Who, The Stones. 112 00:05:57,457 --> 00:05:59,948 The more opposite your choice, the more points you get. 113 00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:02,619 Don't worry, gentlemen. I have this one under control. 114 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:05,722 Now, obviously for this medley to work... 115 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,493 I'm gonna have to sing lead... 116 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,535 and, of course, when you're singing Diana Ross... 117 00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:12,571 Bob Mackie-esque marabou feather boas are a must. 118 00:06:12,638 --> 00:06:14,663 Isn't this lesson about opposites? 119 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:18,074 I mean, you in a sequin gown and a feather boa is exactly what you'd expect. 120 00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,304 Who said anything about a gown? 121 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,347 Dude, why don't you make yourself useful... 122 00:06:21,414 --> 00:06:22,938 and go put some rat poison... 123 00:06:23,015 --> 00:06:25,074 in them old folks' Jell-O or visit the Garglers. 124 00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:27,517 - The Warblers. - Whatever. See what they're up to. 125 00:06:27,587 --> 00:06:29,953 You can wear all the feathers you want. You'll blend right in. 126 00:06:34,193 --> 00:06:35,251 Fine. 127 00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,664 Is this hot enough for you? 128 00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:05,546 Say my name, Sam. 129 00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:08,025 I said say my name. 130 00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:13,198 I said say my name. 131 00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,792 Beiste. 132 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:18,968 You- 133 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,203 - Are you okay? - Yeah. 134 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,209 I could do this for hours. 135 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:29,943 I know what I heard. 136 00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:32,644 There we were making out, Beiste. 137 00:07:32,718 --> 00:07:34,583 I think he was picturing making out with her. 138 00:07:34,654 --> 00:07:38,146 That is the most horrific image I can imagine. 139 00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:41,853 Coach, I need help. I've done everything I can to rehabilitate my image. 140 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:44,726 I'm getting straight A's, dating the cutest guy at school- 141 00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:46,822 Who would rather be dry-humping She-Hulk. 142 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:49,732 Oh, dear God. Why did I say that? Now that's what I'm picturing. 143 00:07:49,802 --> 00:07:53,363 You know what kind of disgusting images I'm gonna have to look at to get this out of my head? 144 00:07:53,439 --> 00:07:55,430 I'm gonna have to go straight to the wound care center. 145 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,100 I'm gonna have to stare at some wounds. 146 00:07:57,176 --> 00:07:59,406 Coach, I really don't know what to do. 147 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,870 Wait. 148 00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,917 This may be the opportunity I've been waiting for. 149 00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:07,248 A way to get Beiste out of the school... 150 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,153 and your Macaulay Culkin stunt double back in your arms. 151 00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,713 What do I have to do? 152 00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:13,691 We need to go public with your pain... 153 00:08:13,759 --> 00:08:15,693 get people talking about this... 154 00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:18,594 make Beiste into the next Mary Kay Letourneau. 155 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:20,859 And you need to give him a piece of your mind- 156 00:08:20,933 --> 00:08:22,992 loud and in public. 157 00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,196 Show him who's the boss. 158 00:08:25,271 --> 00:08:30,140 Oh, man. Now I'm picturing the two of them making out during an episode of Who's the Boss? 159 00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,075 Shouldn't we be studying geometry? Aren't you failing? 160 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:37,479 One thing I learned in juvie: 161 00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,984 Cash is king. 162 00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,145 Lets people know we're not doing it for free. 163 00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:47,420 You think people are gonna pay us to sing? I don't think busking is allowed in school. 164 00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:50,087 Watch and learn, young Jedi in a wheelchair. 165 00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,060 This is so badass. 166 00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,264 I've never broken the rules like this. 167 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,273 # One love # 168 00:09:07,513 --> 00:09:09,344 # One heart # 169 00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:14,944 # Let's get together and feel all right # 170 00:09:15,021 --> 00:09:16,579 # Hear the children cryin' # 171 00:09:16,656 --> 00:09:17,918 # One love # 172 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,582 # Hear the children cryin' # 173 00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:20,956 # One heart # 174 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:23,996 # Sayin' give thanks and praise to the Lord # 175 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,930 # And I will feel all right # 176 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:32,562 # Sayin' let's get together and feel all right # 177 00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:34,196 # Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa # 178 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:39,836 # Let them all pass all their dirty remarks # 179 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:44,679 # There is one question I'd really love to ask # 180 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,445 # One heart # 181 00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:50,785 # Is there a place for the hopeless sinner # 182 00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:56,624 # Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own # 183 00:09:56,696 --> 00:09:58,129 # Believe me # 184 00:09:58,197 --> 00:09:59,721 # One love # 185 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:02,597 - # What about the one heart # - # One heart # 186 00:10:02,668 --> 00:10:05,535 - # What about love # - # Let's get together # 187 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,574 # And feel all right # 188 00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,337 - # As it was in the beginning # - # One love # 189 00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:14,038 - # So shall it be in the end # - # One heart # 190 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,479 - # All right # - # Give thanks and praise to the Lord # 191 00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:17,481 # Oh # 192 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:20,451 # And I will feel all right # 193 00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:21,816 # Yeah # 194 00:10:21,887 --> 00:10:28,520 # Let's get together and feel all right ## 195 00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:30,621 Whoo! 196 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,687 All right! 197 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:33,754 Whoo! 198 00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,169 Holy crap. There's, like, 300 bucks in here. 199 00:10:37,236 --> 00:10:40,535 Yeah. You really can't put a dollar amount on the value of talent plus fear. 200 00:10:40,606 --> 00:10:45,009 I can. It's about 300 bucks. What are we gonna do with it? 201 00:10:45,077 --> 00:10:47,511 Buy a buttload of clove cigarettes, then I don't know. 202 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,681 You want her? 203 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,844 You don't need any cash for that. She's free. 204 00:10:53,919 --> 00:10:55,853 She was my first. 205 00:10:57,256 --> 00:10:59,486 Now I- I think I want her back. 206 00:10:59,592 --> 00:11:01,492 - So go get her. - It's not that simple. 207 00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:04,860 - I was kind of mean to her when I blew her off. - This is perfect. 208 00:11:04,930 --> 00:11:07,797 The thing about chicks is you only have to be a fraction as nice to them... 209 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:10,233 as you are mean to them to get them to like you again. 210 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:13,499 - So what do we do? - Here's a little community service comin' at ya. 211 00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:15,767 You and I are gonna take this dough... 212 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,469 and go on a double date with Santana and Brittany to the Sticks. 213 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:21,245 Yeah. 214 00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:23,304 Best community servicer ever, right? 215 00:11:26,786 --> 00:11:28,947 - The senior commons. - Right. 216 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,751 Excuse me. 217 00:11:31,824 --> 00:11:34,622 Um, hi. Can I ask you a question? I'm new here. 218 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,218 My name's Blaine. 219 00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:38,220 Kurt. 220 00:11:39,665 --> 00:11:42,327 - So, what exactly is going on? - The Warblers. 221 00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:45,393 Every now and then they throw an impromptu performance in the senior commons. 222 00:11:45,471 --> 00:11:48,463 It tends to shut the school down for a while. 223 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,066 So, wait. The glee club here is kind of cool? 224 00:11:51,143 --> 00:11:53,407 The Warblers are like rock stars. 225 00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,979 Come on. I know a shortcut. 226 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,701 Ooh, I stick out like a sore thumb. 227 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:27,212 Well, next time don't forget your jacket, new kid. You'll fit right in. 228 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:32,646 - Now, if you'll excuse me. - ## 229 00:12:32,718 --> 00:12:35,653 # Before you met me I was all right # 230 00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:39,851 # But things were kind of heavy You brought me to life # 231 00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:42,052 # Now every February # 232 00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:45,029 # You'll be my valentine # 233 00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,492 # Valentine # 234 00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:51,366 # Let's go all the way tonight # 235 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:53,405 # No regrets # 236 00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,631 # Just love # 237 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:59,872 # We can dance until we die # 238 00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:04,507 # You and I will be young forever # 239 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:10,420 # You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream # 240 00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:12,423 # The way you turn me on # 241 00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,789 # I can't sleep # 242 00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:18,057 # Let's run away and don't ever look back # 243 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,620 # Don't ever look back # 244 00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:23,828 # Let's go all the way tonight # 245 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,336 # No regrets # 246 00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:27,504 # Just love # 247 00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:31,907 # We can dance until we die # 248 00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:36,277 # You and I will be young forever # 249 00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:43,015 # You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream # 250 00:13:43,088 --> 00:13:44,885 # The way you turn me on # 251 00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:46,754 # I can't sleep # 252 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,761 # Let's run away and don't ever look back # 253 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,421 # Don't ever look back # 254 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:56,400 # I'm-a get your heart racing in my skintight jeans # 255 00:13:56,468 --> 00:13:59,096 # Be your teenage dream tonight # 256 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:00,866 # Ooh, ahh # 257 00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:08,879 # Yeah # 258 00:14:08,948 --> 00:14:14,682 # You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream # 259 00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:16,414 # The way you turn me on # 260 00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:18,718 # I can't sleep # 261 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:22,090 # Let's run away and don't ever look back # 262 00:14:22,161 --> 00:14:23,822 # Don't ever look back # 263 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:26,922 - # No # - # My heart stops # 264 00:14:26,999 --> 00:14:28,261 # When you look at me # 265 00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:30,598 # Just one touch # 266 00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:32,569 # Now, baby, I believe # 267 00:14:32,638 --> 00:14:34,572 # This is real # 268 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,007 - # So take a chance # - # Whoa, whoa, don't ever look back # 269 00:14:38,077 --> 00:14:39,806 # Don't ever look back # 270 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:44,145 # I'm-a get your heart racing in my skintight jeans # 271 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:47,515 # Be your teenage dream tonight # 272 00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:51,920 # Let you put your hands on me in my skintight jeans # 273 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,619 # Be your teenage dream tonight ## 274 00:15:04,536 --> 00:15:06,299 Wait. That's hilarious. 275 00:15:06,372 --> 00:15:09,808 Picturing Beiste helps cool you off? 276 00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:14,008 - That's what Sam said. - Really? 277 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:15,944 Well, then let's get a room. 278 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,443 - I love making out under the stars. - Mmm. 279 00:15:23,489 --> 00:15:26,481 With those abs, you could be my very own Situation. 280 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:31,154 Slow down. 281 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:32,663 Can't get caught in here. 282 00:15:33,465 --> 00:15:35,399 We should probably cool off. 283 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:39,170 But I'm so turned on right now. 284 00:15:44,410 --> 00:15:46,401 This'll cool you down a little bit. 285 00:15:46,478 --> 00:15:47,672 Beiste. 286 00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,715 - What did you just say? - Nothing. 287 00:15:53,018 --> 00:15:56,181 I gotta go. I'll see you in Glee Club. 288 00:15:56,255 --> 00:15:57,813 "Beiste"? 289 00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,881 Just be honest with me. 290 00:15:59,992 --> 00:16:02,722 I won't get mad at you if you tell me the truth. I'll be relieved. 291 00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:06,424 Really? Because it looks like you're gonna be mad, no matter what I say. 292 00:16:06,498 --> 00:16:08,932 You said another woman's name while you were kissing me. 293 00:16:09,001 --> 00:16:13,097 Look. I get it. She's in a position of power over you, which can be exciting... 294 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,606 and you clearly like women who give you a hard time. 295 00:16:15,674 --> 00:16:17,733 I'm not cheating on you with my football coach. 296 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,278 Look. Can we talk about this in private? 297 00:16:20,346 --> 00:16:22,541 - Why? Am I embarrassing you? - It's not what you think. 298 00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:24,548 What I think is that I'm not putting out for you... 299 00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:28,143 so you're getting it wherever you can, including the locker room with the Beiste. 300 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:29,380 What's this? 301 00:16:29,455 --> 00:16:31,514 This is a lovers' quarrel, and it's your fault. 302 00:16:31,590 --> 00:16:34,957 Watch your tone with me, missy. You crap on my leg, I'll cut it off. 303 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:37,823 I'll leave you two. 304 00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,466 Everything okay? 305 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:42,465 I- 306 00:16:43,302 --> 00:16:45,031 Stay away from my woman. 307 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:48,930 What the hell's goin' on around here? 308 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,901 What's going on, Sam? 309 00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,584 How many of the guys have done this? 310 00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:02,153 All the guys whose girlfriends won't put out. 311 00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:04,985 - It's the girls too. - This is really bad, guys. 312 00:17:05,057 --> 00:17:07,821 What if Coach Beiste were to find out about it? 313 00:17:07,893 --> 00:17:10,225 - Think about how hurt she'd be. - It's not personal. 314 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:14,493 Of course it's personal. Look. Coach Beiste is like us- like Glee Club. 315 00:17:14,566 --> 00:17:18,263 She's an outsider at this school. No one appreciates her or her talent... 316 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,170 because they've decided that she's too different. 317 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,209 And for you guys to abuse that, even in private... 318 00:17:24,276 --> 00:17:26,642 is the opposite of everything we're trying to achieve in here. 319 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:31,149 But we're just thinking about it. It's not like we're actually making fun of her to her face. 320 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:33,309 I need you to stop. 321 00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:37,151 And spread the word to all the other Glee guys- and girls. 322 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:39,315 This ends here and now. 323 00:17:39,391 --> 00:17:41,916 And Coach Beiste can never know about this. 324 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:44,253 Okay. 325 00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:45,762 Sorry. 326 00:17:46,698 --> 00:17:48,290 - Latte? - Thank you. 327 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:51,336 This is Wes and David. 328 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:55,339 It's very civilized for you to invite me for coffee before you beat me up for spying. 329 00:17:55,407 --> 00:17:57,068 We are not going to beat you up. 330 00:17:57,142 --> 00:18:00,509 You were such a terrible spy, we thought it was sort of endearing. 331 00:18:00,612 --> 00:18:04,548 Which made me think that spying on us wasn't really the reason you came. 332 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,910 Can I ask you guys a question? 333 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,653 Are you guys all gay? 334 00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:18,291 Uh, uh, no. 335 00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:20,524 I mean, I am, but these two have girlfriends. 336 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:24,365 This is not a gay school. We just have a zero-tolerance harassment policy. 337 00:18:24,436 --> 00:18:28,031 Everybody gets treated the same, no matter what they are. It's pretty simple. 338 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,978 Would you guys excuse us? 339 00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:40,041 Yeah. Take it easy, Kurt. 340 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,018 I take it you're having trouble at school. 341 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,995 I'm the only person out of the closet at my school. 342 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:56,794 And I-I-I- I tried to stay strong about it... 343 00:18:56,869 --> 00:19:02,739 but there's this Neanderthal who's made it his mission to make my life a living hell. 344 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:06,544 And nobody seems to notice. 345 00:19:07,346 --> 00:19:08,836 I know how you feel. 346 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:15,520 I got taunted at my old school, and it really- It pissed me off. 347 00:19:17,256 --> 00:19:20,623 I even complained about it to the faculty, and they were sympathetic and all... 348 00:19:20,692 --> 00:19:24,719 but you could just tell that nobody really cared. 349 00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,559 It was like... 350 00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:30,466 "Hey, if you're gay, your life's just gonna be miserable. 351 00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:33,562 Sorry. Nothing we can do about it." 352 00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,641 So I left. I came here. Simple as that. 353 00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:44,678 So you have two options. I mean, I'd love to tell you to just come enroll here... 354 00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,811 but tuition at Dalton's sort of steep, and I know that's not an option for everybody... 355 00:19:48,887 --> 00:19:52,288 or you can refuse to be the victim. 356 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,428 Prejudice is just ignorance, Kurt. 357 00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,158 And you have a chance right now to teach him. 358 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:02,967 How? 359 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:04,525 Confront him. 360 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,333 Call him out. 361 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:11,340 I ran, Kurt. 362 00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,777 I didn't stand up. 363 00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:20,614 I let bullies chase me away, and it is something that I really, really regret. 364 00:20:23,088 --> 00:20:25,613 The boys beat us the last time we competed against them. 365 00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:28,091 We've gotta bring the noise hard this time. 366 00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,094 To be fair, they didn't officially beat us. 367 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,187 We got busted for vitamin "D" possession before the vote. 368 00:20:32,264 --> 00:20:34,459 Wait. Something's definitely wrong. 369 00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:36,296 Why isn't Rachel talking? 370 00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,393 Yeah, she should totally be bossing us around right now. 371 00:20:38,470 --> 00:20:41,530 The idea of the assignment was to do the opposite of what we normally do. 372 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,974 I'm just trying to stick to the lesson plan, which is proving nearly impossible... 373 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,840 since you're gluing those sequins on backwards. 374 00:20:48,046 --> 00:20:49,911 - Spies! - Lighten up. 375 00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,075 We're here to talk to Santana and Brittany. 376 00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,983 Remember. Don't trust your instincts. 377 00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:57,817 Hmm. So, how does it feel to be a free man? 378 00:20:57,889 --> 00:21:00,619 All I can say is that I don't want a long-term relationship with either of you. 379 00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,660 Especially Brittany, since I'm not in love with her. 380 00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:04,685 Do you guys want to go out to dinner tonight? 381 00:21:04,763 --> 00:21:06,390 Not really. 382 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,399 - Oh. - Tell you what. 383 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,458 You two show up at Breadsticks tomorrow night around 7:00... 384 00:21:10,535 --> 00:21:13,129 and if we don't find hotter chicks to date tonight, we might show up. 385 00:21:14,373 --> 00:21:16,739 - You are totally cool. - Awesome. 386 00:21:19,578 --> 00:21:22,308 I can't believe it. You're a genius. 387 00:21:27,419 --> 00:21:28,909 Hey, Will. 388 00:21:28,987 --> 00:21:31,046 Can I talk to you for a second? 389 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,318 - Yeah. - What's going on with your Glee Club kids? 390 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,853 They've been mouthing off to me. 391 00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:40,557 One of them even said to stay away from their girl. 392 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:43,726 I don't get it. You know, I'm the coach here, Will... 393 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,327 and if the students here don't respect me... 394 00:21:47,406 --> 00:21:49,169 I can't do my job. 395 00:21:51,109 --> 00:21:52,599 Well, Coach... 396 00:21:54,079 --> 00:21:57,014 I- I don't know what to tell you. 397 00:21:57,082 --> 00:22:00,381 Will, please. Be straight with me. 398 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,318 You're the only person at this school I trust. 399 00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,015 Please. 400 00:22:11,096 --> 00:22:13,087 Why don't you have a seat. 401 00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:23,098 Uh- 402 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,871 This is really awful. 403 00:22:25,944 --> 00:22:28,708 And I don't want you to take it personally. 404 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,010 I mean, they're just kids. You know how they can be. 405 00:22:31,083 --> 00:22:33,278 Just- Just tell me. 406 00:22:37,322 --> 00:22:38,812 I guess... 407 00:22:39,891 --> 00:22:44,089 it's become sort of a- a thing... 408 00:22:44,162 --> 00:22:47,495 that, when the kids are making out, and... 409 00:22:49,568 --> 00:22:52,059 you know, they- they sort of want to... 410 00:22:54,172 --> 00:22:56,265 cool off a little... 411 00:22:58,844 --> 00:23:00,607 they think of you... 412 00:23:01,813 --> 00:23:03,781 in compromising positions. 413 00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:09,113 Like what? 414 00:23:11,556 --> 00:23:12,887 Like... 415 00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,455 in lingerie. 416 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,492 Coach, don't take it personally. 417 00:23:19,564 --> 00:23:22,124 I do take it personally, Will. 418 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:26,867 I take it very, very personally. 419 00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:31,908 No, Shannon. Shannon, wait. I- 420 00:23:39,951 --> 00:23:43,182 So there I was, at juvie, in the breakfast line in the mess hall... 421 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:45,723 when I noticed me and the guy behind me going for the same waffle. 422 00:23:45,791 --> 00:23:48,783 This guy's 6'11 ", 300 easy. 423 00:23:48,860 --> 00:23:52,193 He's got his teeth filed into canines, tats everywhere. 424 00:23:52,264 --> 00:23:54,960 It gets better. So I turn around... 425 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:59,732 I flex my left pec, and I flex my right pec, and I say to the guy... 426 00:24:00,439 --> 00:24:03,135 "Leggo my Eggo." 427 00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:07,741 And you know what he does? He lets go of my Eggo. 428 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:09,303 That's right. 429 00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,679 You should be our nation's president. 430 00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,377 Maybe. 431 00:24:13,452 --> 00:24:15,886 I've been squeezing your leg for like the last hour and a half. 432 00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:17,683 Are you not attracted to me? 433 00:24:19,257 --> 00:24:21,350 Sorry. I was really distracted by our waitress. 434 00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:25,521 She's totally into me. 435 00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,724 I can take that when you're ready. 436 00:24:28,667 --> 00:24:29,827 Thank you. 437 00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:31,425 All right, guys. Let's move. 438 00:24:31,503 --> 00:24:33,971 This meal has been comped. 439 00:24:34,039 --> 00:24:35,199 What? 440 00:24:35,273 --> 00:24:37,901 Dude, I don't pay for food. It's my thing, yo. 441 00:24:37,976 --> 00:24:39,944 So we're going to dine and dash. 442 00:24:42,247 --> 00:24:43,509 Let's go. 443 00:24:58,029 --> 00:24:59,758 Do you need any change? 444 00:25:00,465 --> 00:25:02,592 Keep it. Thanks. 445 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,697 What the hell was that about? 446 00:25:05,770 --> 00:25:07,601 Sorry. I couldn't do it. 447 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:12,575 She gave us free refills, and I figure she's got kids. I'm not gonna do that to her. 448 00:25:12,644 --> 00:25:14,407 Whatever, dude. You wussed out. 449 00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,710 So have fun taking the short bus home, 'cause I'll be escorting these lovely ladies... 450 00:25:17,782 --> 00:25:19,943 back to Chez Puckerman for a little sookie-sookie. 451 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:22,009 - Wait. Seriously? - Damn straight. 452 00:25:22,087 --> 00:25:23,816 I'm giving you all my trade secrets here. 453 00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:26,084 If you don't want my help, then fine. You're on your own. 454 00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:30,585 - # Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa # 455 00:25:31,730 --> 00:25:32,822 # Start me up # 456 00:25:32,898 --> 00:25:34,923 # Whoa, whoa, whoa # 457 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,592 # Start me up # 458 00:25:38,336 --> 00:25:42,796 - # Oh, Tommy used to work on the docks # - ## 459 00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:46,810 # Union's been on strike He's down on his luck # 460 00:25:46,878 --> 00:25:48,846 # It's tough # 461 00:25:48,914 --> 00:25:53,851 # Oh, so tough # 462 00:25:53,919 --> 00:25:58,822 # Oh, we gotta hold on ready or not # 463 00:25:58,924 --> 00:26:02,621 # You live for the fight when that's all that you've got # 464 00:26:02,661 --> 00:26:03,958 # Start me up # 465 00:26:04,029 --> 00:26:06,463 # We're halfway there # 466 00:26:06,531 --> 00:26:08,362 # Oh, oh # 467 00:26:08,433 --> 00:26:10,401 # Livin' on a prayer # 468 00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:12,663 # If you start me up # 469 00:26:12,737 --> 00:26:15,262 # Kick on the starter Give it all you got # 470 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:17,774 # You got, you got # 471 00:26:17,842 --> 00:26:19,707 - # You got # - # I can't compete # 472 00:26:20,946 --> 00:26:23,642 # With the riders in the other heat # 473 00:26:23,715 --> 00:26:25,649 # Yeah, yeah # 474 00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:30,450 - # You gotta hold on # - # I'll make a grown man cry # 475 00:26:30,522 --> 00:26:33,889 - # I'll make a grown man # - # Give it a shot # 476 00:26:33,959 --> 00:26:35,654 # Start me up # 477 00:26:35,727 --> 00:26:37,922 # We're halfway there # 478 00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:39,486 # Oh, oh # 479 00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:41,896 # Livin' on a prayer # 480 00:26:41,967 --> 00:26:45,733 # Livin' on a prayer # 481 00:26:54,446 --> 00:26:59,611 - # Oh, we gotta hold on, ready or not # - # Ready or not # 482 00:26:59,718 --> 00:27:02,710 # You live for the fight when that's all that you've got # 483 00:27:02,754 --> 00:27:04,381 # Oh # 484 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,186 - # We're halfway there # - # We're halfway there # 485 00:27:07,258 --> 00:27:10,591 - # Oh, oh, livin' on a prayer # - # Oh, livin' on a prayer # 486 00:27:10,662 --> 00:27:14,029 # Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear # 487 00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:16,158 # Oh, oh # 488 00:27:16,234 --> 00:27:18,566 # We're livin' on a prayer # 489 00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:21,572 # Livin' on a prayer # 490 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,870 # You gotta start me up ## 491 00:27:24,009 --> 00:27:25,340 Whoo! 492 00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:28,436 Ladies, very, very impressive. 493 00:27:28,513 --> 00:27:31,505 - What was it that made you, uh, guys choose those songs? - Well- 494 00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:33,312 Coach said to give you this. 495 00:27:33,385 --> 00:27:35,285 I guess 'cause last year was so bad. 496 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:46,694 Take a good look, William, because Sue Sylvester's got two things to show you. 497 00:27:46,765 --> 00:27:49,962 To my left, I have one confetti cannon. 498 00:27:50,035 --> 00:27:53,027 To my right, you'll find another confetti cannon. 499 00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:56,562 - You know what that means? - No, Sue. 500 00:27:56,641 --> 00:27:59,701 We got Beiste fired. 501 00:28:01,012 --> 00:28:02,570 And my full budget is restored. 502 00:28:11,523 --> 00:28:13,218 Wait. What? 503 00:28:13,291 --> 00:28:15,691 Well, actually, she quit, but I'll take the "W." 504 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,058 And it was your kids who made it happen, Will. 505 00:28:18,129 --> 00:28:21,428 It finally occurred to them to stop singing all that nonsense... 506 00:28:21,499 --> 00:28:24,059 about how awesome it is to be alive or ugly... 507 00:28:24,135 --> 00:28:26,695 or whatever the point is you guys are always trying to make... 508 00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:29,331 and instead, they just got mean. 509 00:28:31,409 --> 00:28:33,172 Congratulations, Will. 510 00:28:33,244 --> 00:28:34,233 Wait. 511 00:28:34,312 --> 00:28:35,802 Coach Beiste quit? 512 00:28:35,880 --> 00:28:37,814 I believe I just said that, Annie Sullivan. 513 00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:39,816 You want me to sign it into your palm? 514 00:28:39,884 --> 00:28:41,681 And now, if you'll excuse me- 515 00:28:41,753 --> 00:28:46,690 And if you wouldn't mind just cleaning all this up, that'd be great. 516 00:29:08,513 --> 00:29:09,844 Hey! 517 00:29:11,883 --> 00:29:14,681 - I am talking to you! - The girls' locker room's next door. 518 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:16,277 What is your problem? 519 00:29:16,354 --> 00:29:18,219 - Excuse me? - What are you so scared of? 520 00:29:18,289 --> 00:29:20,280 Besides you sneaking in here to peek at my junk? 521 00:29:20,358 --> 00:29:21,848 Yeah. Every straight guy's nightmare: 522 00:29:21,926 --> 00:29:24,554 That all us gays are secretly out to molest and convert you. 523 00:29:24,629 --> 00:29:28,030 - Well, guess what, ham hock. You're not my type. - That right? 524 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:31,865 Yeah. I don't dig on chubby boys who sweat too much and are gonna be bald by the time they're 30. 525 00:29:31,936 --> 00:29:34,029 - Do not push me, Hummel. - You gonna hit me? 526 00:29:34,105 --> 00:29:36,232 - Do it. - Don't push me. 527 00:29:36,307 --> 00:29:38,138 Hit me, 'cause it's not gonna change who I am. 528 00:29:38,209 --> 00:29:41,178 You can't punch the gay out of me any more than I can punch the ignoramus out of you. 529 00:29:41,246 --> 00:29:43,510 - Get out of my face! - You are nothing but a scared little boy... 530 00:29:43,581 --> 00:29:45,708 who can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are! 531 00:30:08,173 --> 00:30:12,405 - Well, I genuinely hope you guys are happy... 532 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:14,570 because Coach Beiste has quit. 533 00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:18,514 - Wait. What? That's terrible. - Yeah, that's not what we want. 534 00:30:18,583 --> 00:30:21,245 That's the opposite of what we want. The football team is actually winning. 535 00:30:21,319 --> 00:30:24,186 Then you'd better put your heads together and find a way to get her back, fast... 536 00:30:24,255 --> 00:30:26,951 because I am actually ashamed of you. 537 00:30:27,025 --> 00:30:29,721 You really hurt someone who is a great addition to this school. 538 00:30:29,794 --> 00:30:31,694 I'm sorry. What exactly did we do? 539 00:30:31,763 --> 00:30:34,527 - No, no. It's us. The boys. - And Tina. 540 00:30:36,534 --> 00:30:39,094 We sort of figured out that picturing Beiste while making out... 541 00:30:39,170 --> 00:30:40,967 was even better than a cold shower. 542 00:30:41,039 --> 00:30:43,974 Uh, I- I mean, I don't ever. 543 00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:46,374 Oh, wow. I'm- I'm sorry. 544 00:30:46,444 --> 00:30:48,969 Can I just say that this is what happens when people don't put out. 545 00:30:49,047 --> 00:30:51,481 If everyone just put out, we would have a winning football team. 546 00:30:51,549 --> 00:30:56,577 William, I need to see you and Noah Puckerman in my office, please. 547 00:30:58,990 --> 00:31:01,686 This is garbage! I've been doing my community service. 548 00:31:01,759 --> 00:31:04,353 When you wrote "hanging with a crip" on your probation application... 549 00:31:04,429 --> 00:31:06,590 we thought you were gonna do outreach with a local gang. 550 00:31:06,664 --> 00:31:09,132 But I've totally been helping Artie. I got him a date. 551 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,067 I made him some sweet cash. Please, Mr. Schue, you've gotta help me out here. 552 00:31:12,136 --> 00:31:14,331 Ms. Martin, there's gotta be some way Puck can make up for this. 553 00:31:14,405 --> 00:31:16,566 He's been a model student since he got back. 554 00:31:16,641 --> 00:31:18,506 Three whole days' worth. Impressive. 555 00:31:18,576 --> 00:31:20,567 Look. There are rules. 556 00:31:20,645 --> 00:31:22,579 If Mr. Puckerman doesn't find a suitable alternative... 557 00:31:22,647 --> 00:31:25,411 for his community service by tomorrow, his probation will be revoked... 558 00:31:25,483 --> 00:31:27,508 and he'll have to go back to the Mondale School for the Boys. 559 00:31:27,585 --> 00:31:29,280 Screw that. I am not going back there. 560 00:31:29,354 --> 00:31:31,151 Mr. Puckerman, calm down. 561 00:31:31,222 --> 00:31:33,520 No, you calm down! All of you calm down! 562 00:31:33,591 --> 00:31:35,456 I told you. I'm not going back there. 563 00:31:35,526 --> 00:31:37,016 What are you writing? Give me that. 564 00:31:37,095 --> 00:31:38,790 Puck! This isn't helping. 565 00:31:38,863 --> 00:31:41,957 Helping? Since when does any one of you care about helping me? 566 00:31:42,033 --> 00:31:43,625 None of you care about me. 567 00:31:48,673 --> 00:31:49,765 I- 568 00:31:52,777 --> 00:31:56,235 - Thanks again for coming. - Don't worry about it. Just let me do the talking. 569 00:31:57,749 --> 00:32:00,445 - There he is. - I got your back. 570 00:32:01,452 --> 00:32:03,317 Excuse me. 571 00:32:03,388 --> 00:32:04,878 Hey, lady boys. 572 00:32:04,956 --> 00:32:06,719 This your boyfriend, Kurt? 573 00:32:06,791 --> 00:32:10,591 - Kurt and I would like to talk to you about something. - I gotta go to class. 574 00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:14,564 - Kurt told me what you did. - Oh, yeah? What's that? 575 00:32:14,632 --> 00:32:16,190 You kissed me. 576 00:32:17,468 --> 00:32:19,368 I don't know what you're talking about. 577 00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:23,168 It seems like you might be a little confused, and that's totally normal. 578 00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:26,142 This is a very hard thing to come to terms with... 579 00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:28,610 and you should just know that you're not alone. 580 00:32:29,414 --> 00:32:32,349 Do not mess with me! 581 00:32:32,417 --> 00:32:34,214 You have to stop this! 582 00:32:48,733 --> 00:32:51,031 Well, he's not coming out any time soon. 583 00:32:55,807 --> 00:32:57,570 What's going on? 584 00:33:00,478 --> 00:33:03,345 Why are you so upset? 585 00:33:03,414 --> 00:33:06,383 Because, up until yesterday, I had never been kissed. 586 00:33:07,318 --> 00:33:09,980 Or at least, one that counted. 587 00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:18,228 Come on. 588 00:33:18,296 --> 00:33:20,230 I'll buy you lunch. 589 00:33:38,649 --> 00:33:40,412 Didn't make you for a quitter. 590 00:33:40,485 --> 00:33:42,214 Don't, Will. 591 00:33:42,286 --> 00:33:44,220 You have no idea what it's like. 592 00:33:44,288 --> 00:33:47,121 For what it's worth, my kids feel awful. 593 00:33:48,059 --> 00:33:49,993 And they like you. 594 00:33:50,061 --> 00:33:51,551 They respect you. 595 00:33:52,930 --> 00:33:55,763 Isn't that just what every girl wants to hear from a guy? 596 00:33:56,934 --> 00:33:58,561 Nah. Screw this. 597 00:33:58,669 --> 00:34:01,365 I'll find my bliss somewhere else. 598 00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:04,432 I need a life change. 599 00:34:04,509 --> 00:34:10,209 You know, maybe I'll get a job as a cooler at a honky-tonk bar. I don't know. 600 00:34:10,281 --> 00:34:11,839 Maybe an ice road trucker. 601 00:34:11,916 --> 00:34:13,144 Stop. 602 00:34:13,217 --> 00:34:15,151 Just stop. 603 00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:17,779 I get it. 604 00:34:17,855 --> 00:34:20,949 All of us are scarred by high school. 605 00:34:21,025 --> 00:34:24,859 Next to our parents, nothing screws a person up more. 606 00:34:25,963 --> 00:34:28,329 And- And people like us- 607 00:34:28,399 --> 00:34:32,028 We're stupid enough to come back here and relive that pain every day. 608 00:34:32,103 --> 00:34:34,663 - Right? - Yeah. 609 00:34:38,776 --> 00:34:40,539 I'm not gay, you know. 610 00:34:40,611 --> 00:34:42,772 I know I can be a little intimidating sometimes... 611 00:34:42,847 --> 00:34:47,443 but deep down inside, where no one can see... 612 00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:50,186 I'm just a girl. 613 00:34:51,789 --> 00:34:55,555 Am I nuts that I just want to be reminded of that sometimes? 614 00:34:56,961 --> 00:34:58,622 Well, that's what dating is for. 615 00:35:00,398 --> 00:35:04,994 Last date I went on, the guy was a freak. All he wanted to do was wrestle. 616 00:35:05,069 --> 00:35:08,197 Well, let me help you out then. I'm sure there are plenty of guys- 617 00:35:08,272 --> 00:35:10,502 No, there aren't. 618 00:35:10,575 --> 00:35:13,009 I'm kind of a specific type, Will. 619 00:35:13,077 --> 00:35:15,375 Well, you gotta put yourself out there, try online dating. 620 00:35:15,446 --> 00:35:17,607 I've never been kissed, Will. 621 00:35:20,985 --> 00:35:22,953 It's the simplest thing. 622 00:35:23,521 --> 00:35:24,852 A kiss. 623 00:35:24,922 --> 00:35:28,323 It's the doorway to everything else, you know. 624 00:35:28,392 --> 00:35:30,587 Promise, hope. 625 00:35:30,661 --> 00:35:33,323 A- A future with someone. 626 00:35:35,199 --> 00:35:37,599 What's that say about me? 627 00:35:37,668 --> 00:35:42,571 I'm 40, and I haven't even taken those baby steps yet. 628 00:35:47,345 --> 00:35:49,279 What that says to me... 629 00:35:50,982 --> 00:35:53,212 is that you are a beautiful... 630 00:35:54,285 --> 00:35:55,980 amazing woman... 631 00:35:57,421 --> 00:36:00,754 whose heart is just too big for most men to stand. 632 00:36:06,030 --> 00:36:07,964 You really think I'm pretty, Will? 633 00:36:09,300 --> 00:36:11,791 Inside and out. 634 00:36:27,518 --> 00:36:29,452 And now you've been kissed. 635 00:36:32,356 --> 00:36:35,120 Come to the choir room, tomorrow at 4:00. 636 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:39,158 The guys want to apologize to you in person. 637 00:36:39,230 --> 00:36:41,994 Are you tricking me into a make out session, Schuester? 638 00:36:53,010 --> 00:36:54,944 I didn't see you in Geometry today. 639 00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:56,946 Jackpot. No, you didn't. 640 00:36:57,014 --> 00:36:58,948 I'm gettin' out of here. 641 00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:02,652 Skippin' town, genius. 642 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:05,348 My probation officer says hanging out with you isn't real community service... 643 00:37:05,423 --> 00:37:08,449 so if I don't spend the next six weeks picking up garbage on the highway... 644 00:37:08,526 --> 00:37:10,118 they're gonna send me back to juvie. 645 00:37:10,194 --> 00:37:12,219 So? What's wrong with picking up trash? 646 00:37:12,296 --> 00:37:14,389 Are you serious? That's ghetto, dude. 647 00:37:14,465 --> 00:37:17,457 I'm not a garbageman. You know how humiliating that is? 648 00:37:17,535 --> 00:37:20,402 I'm not doing it, and I'm not going back to juvie. 649 00:37:20,471 --> 00:37:23,304 Why? I thought you loved it there. 650 00:37:23,374 --> 00:37:24,966 Yeah? 651 00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:27,306 I lied. It was frickin' terrifying, dude. 652 00:37:27,378 --> 00:37:29,312 On the first day, three gangbangers jumped me... 653 00:37:29,380 --> 00:37:32,349 and before the security guards could pull 'em off, they'd already tore out my nipple ring. 654 00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:34,680 I thought I was a badass. 655 00:37:34,752 --> 00:37:36,811 There are some hard dudes in there. 656 00:37:36,887 --> 00:37:39,117 Guys with no families, guys who look at you... 657 00:37:39,190 --> 00:37:42,455 like you're some kind of dog they can't wait to kick the crap out of. 658 00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:44,721 And they kept taking my waffles. 659 00:37:46,897 --> 00:37:49,365 So, you'll be my community service. 660 00:37:49,934 --> 00:37:51,026 What? 661 00:37:51,102 --> 00:37:54,128 I owe you. You got me a date with Brittany. 662 00:37:54,205 --> 00:37:56,833 You made me feel cool, which is not the easiest thing to do. 663 00:37:58,142 --> 00:38:00,508 I really like hanging out with you, so... 664 00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:03,876 let me tutor you in geometry while you pick up garbage by the highway. 665 00:38:04,882 --> 00:38:06,782 Geometry's easy, yo. 666 00:38:06,851 --> 00:38:10,150 There's no excuse for a guy as smart as you not to get at least a "B." 667 00:38:12,123 --> 00:38:14,148 I was kind of a jerk to you at Breadsticks. 668 00:38:14,225 --> 00:38:17,319 Whatever. Just pay me back for the pasta. 669 00:38:18,663 --> 00:38:21,154 Running out without paying was a stupid idea. 670 00:38:21,232 --> 00:38:22,927 If I got caught, I'd be screwed. 671 00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:27,300 You need to start hanging around someone who's a good influence on you, Puck. 672 00:38:27,371 --> 00:38:29,839 Give me six weeks. If you don't ace your geometry midterm... 673 00:38:29,907 --> 00:38:32,842 I swear I'll buy you all the waffles you can eat. 674 00:38:34,745 --> 00:38:36,872 That's dope, dude. You got a deal. 675 00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:17,851 I don't get it. It's boys against the girls... 676 00:39:17,922 --> 00:39:20,550 but what's the winner get? 677 00:39:20,624 --> 00:39:22,990 We were hoping for your forgiveness. 678 00:39:23,060 --> 00:39:26,894 Yeah. We just wanted to apologize for hurting your feelings. 679 00:39:26,964 --> 00:39:28,591 Coach Beiste, we think you're awesome. 680 00:39:28,666 --> 00:39:30,691 And even though you're all hard and tough on the outside... 681 00:39:30,768 --> 00:39:32,759 it doesn't mean you're not the opposite on the inside. 682 00:39:32,837 --> 00:39:35,101 - Like a chocolate turtle. - Totally. You're nougatty. 683 00:39:35,172 --> 00:39:37,402 We totally get that now. 684 00:39:37,475 --> 00:39:39,170 You're like a mashup. 685 00:39:39,243 --> 00:39:42,041 - Why don't you guys just get to the song. - Totally. 686 00:39:42,113 --> 00:39:44,513 This mashup is dedicated to you, Coach- 687 00:39:44,582 --> 00:39:48,484 hard and badass on one hand and soft and girlie on the other. 688 00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:51,112 We hope it makes you smile, 'cause when you smile, you're pretty... 689 00:39:51,188 --> 00:39:52,780 and it lights up the room. 690 00:39:53,357 --> 00:39:54,324 Seriously. 691 00:40:00,264 --> 00:40:01,959 # Here we go # 692 00:40:02,032 --> 00:40:06,196 # Stop in the name of love # 693 00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:10,366 # Before you break my heart Think it over # 694 00:40:10,441 --> 00:40:13,842 # I wear tight clothing high-heeled shoes # 695 00:40:13,911 --> 00:40:18,007 # It doesn't mean that I'm a prostitute No, no # 696 00:40:18,082 --> 00:40:21,950 # I like rap music wear hip-hop clothes # 697 00:40:22,019 --> 00:40:24,487 # That doesn't mean that I'm out selling dope # 698 00:40:24,555 --> 00:40:25,886 # No, no, no # 699 00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:33,026 # Before you can read me you've got to learn how to see me # 700 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:37,796 # I said Stop in the name of love # 701 00:40:37,868 --> 00:40:41,360 # Before you break my heart # 702 00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:43,304 - # Think it over # - # Free your mind # 703 00:40:43,374 --> 00:40:45,638 # And the rest will follow # 704 00:40:45,709 --> 00:40:48,735 # Be color-blind Don't be so shallow # 705 00:40:50,014 --> 00:40:53,677 # I've known of your your secluded nights # 706 00:40:53,751 --> 00:40:57,312 # I've even seen her maybe once or twice # 707 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:01,816 # But is her sweet expression # 708 00:41:01,926 --> 00:41:05,555 # Worth more than my love and affection # 709 00:41:09,667 --> 00:41:12,864 # Before you can read me you've got to learn how to see me # 710 00:41:12,937 --> 00:41:17,874 # I said Stop in the name of love # 711 00:41:17,942 --> 00:41:21,241 - # Before you break my heart # - # Before you break my heart, no, stop # 712 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:24,543 - # Think it over # - # Free your mind and the rest will follow # 713 00:41:24,615 --> 00:41:28,517 - # Oh, oh # - # Be color-blind, Don't be so shallow # 714 00:41:28,586 --> 00:41:30,213 # Don't break my- Don't break my heart # 715 00:41:30,287 --> 00:41:33,620 # Stop in the name of love # 716 00:41:33,691 --> 00:41:35,022 # Free your mind # 717 00:41:35,092 --> 00:41:38,528 - # Stop # - # Free your mind # 718 00:41:41,632 --> 00:41:44,931 # Before you can read me you've got to learn how to see me # 719 00:41:45,002 --> 00:41:46,264 # I said # 720 00:41:46,337 --> 00:41:50,364 # Stop in the name of love # 721 00:41:50,441 --> 00:41:53,535 - # Before you break my heart # - # Before you break my heart # 722 00:41:53,611 --> 00:41:54,942 - # Free your mind # - # Stop # 723 00:41:55,012 --> 00:41:58,004 # In the name of love # 724 00:41:58,082 --> 00:42:01,279 - # Stop, stop # - # Before you break my heart # 725 00:42:01,385 --> 00:42:03,910 # Think it over # 726 00:42:03,954 --> 00:42:05,888 # Free your mind and the rest will # 727 00:42:05,956 --> 00:42:07,287 # Stop ## 728 00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:12,190 It was really good. I liked it. 729 00:42:15,065 --> 00:42:16,293 Thank you. 730 00:42:16,367 --> 00:42:18,460 Get over here. Come on. 731 00:42:18,536 --> 00:42:19,764 All right. 732 00:43:00,844 --> 00:43:01,833 English - US - SDH