1 00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,114 Dad! 2 00:01:08,054 --> 00:01:11,022 Dad. Cease, please. Those aren't even the words. 3 00:01:11,057 --> 00:01:13,858 What? I'm practicing for the big show. 4 00:01:13,893 --> 00:01:17,095 Doesn't anybody sing along anymore? 5 00:01:17,129 --> 00:01:19,464 Okay, did you get the address? 6 00:01:19,498 --> 00:01:21,800 It's Ludlow near Stanton. 7 00:01:21,834 --> 00:01:23,902 Great. You got your cap? 8 00:01:23,936 --> 00:01:25,003 Yeah. 9 00:01:25,037 --> 00:01:28,073 - Got your coat on? - Yeah. 10 00:01:29,575 --> 00:01:31,543 Okay, I got my keys. I got my wallet. 11 00:01:31,577 --> 00:01:34,312 Okay, let's go. 12 00:01:38,651 --> 00:01:40,552 Dad? 13 00:01:49,028 --> 00:01:53,002 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 14 00:02:06,145 --> 00:02:06,211 You're sure you don't have any ibuprofen? 15 00:02:10,883 --> 00:02:12,884 I don't. I'm sorry. 16 00:02:12,918 --> 00:02:16,054 - What about the other stuff? - No. 17 00:02:16,088 --> 00:02:19,991 - Plain old aspirin? - I have water. 18 00:02:20,025 --> 00:02:22,127 - Unbelievable. - Would you like some water? 19 00:02:22,161 --> 00:02:24,796 It's... it's... it's... 20 00:02:24,830 --> 00:02:26,831 It's really crazy when you think about it. 21 00:02:26,866 --> 00:02:28,500 I mean, you're a doctor. 22 00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:30,835 You prescribed me sleeping pills two weeks ago. 23 00:02:30,870 --> 00:02:33,638 And if I needed morphine, I know you could get me some. 24 00:02:33,672 --> 00:02:35,306 But you can't give me two aspirin. 25 00:02:35,341 --> 00:02:38,409 I already said I don't have any. 26 00:02:38,444 --> 00:02:40,245 You still feel I'm denying you. 27 00:02:40,279 --> 00:02:42,947 I'm just... I'm not up to this today. 28 00:02:42,982 --> 00:02:45,216 Why do you think I would do that? 29 00:02:45,251 --> 00:02:46,951 I don't know. 30 00:02:46,986 --> 00:02:48,419 Cruelty maybe, 31 00:02:48,454 --> 00:02:51,189 Uh, power, control, 32 00:02:51,223 --> 00:02:55,794 Youthful clinging to protocol. 33 00:03:00,599 --> 00:03:04,469 My father used to do the same thing. 34 00:03:04,503 --> 00:03:06,471 If ever I got sick, or my brother did, 35 00:03:06,505 --> 00:03:09,641 He'd never write out a prescription. 36 00:03:09,675 --> 00:03:12,043 He'd always send us to the clinic 37 00:03:12,077 --> 00:03:14,412 For an antibiotic. 38 00:03:14,446 --> 00:03:16,981 Do you get headaches a lot? 39 00:03:17,016 --> 00:03:19,150 Yeah, I do lately. 40 00:03:19,185 --> 00:03:20,552 How often? 41 00:03:20,586 --> 00:03:23,354 Sometimes three in a week. 42 00:03:23,389 --> 00:03:26,858 That's another Parkinson's symptom, by the way. 43 00:03:26,892 --> 00:03:28,860 Not all the Web sites list it, 44 00:03:28,894 --> 00:03:30,795 But I found five or six that do. 45 00:03:30,830 --> 00:03:33,565 So we've got tremor, rigidity, 46 00:03:33,599 --> 00:03:35,834 Frequent headaches, 47 00:03:35,868 --> 00:03:39,704 Loss of sense of smell... that's a fun one. 48 00:03:39,738 --> 00:03:42,340 You've been researching online. 49 00:03:42,374 --> 00:03:45,310 I was. Now I'm... 50 00:03:45,344 --> 00:03:46,611 I'm not. 51 00:03:46,645 --> 00:03:48,947 - You mean... - I mean I'm stopping. 52 00:03:48,981 --> 00:03:51,816 I've stopped. 53 00:03:51,851 --> 00:03:53,451 Why is that? 54 00:03:53,485 --> 00:03:55,019 How about an ice pack? 55 00:03:55,054 --> 00:03:57,722 You wouldn't refuse me an ice pack, would you? 56 00:03:57,756 --> 00:04:00,024 If you really feel you can't continue, we should... 57 00:04:00,059 --> 00:04:03,027 No no, it's okay. I was just kidding, 58 00:04:03,062 --> 00:04:04,662 Sort of. 59 00:04:07,299 --> 00:04:09,434 I'll muster through. 60 00:04:09,468 --> 00:04:13,671 So where... where were we? 61 00:04:13,706 --> 00:04:15,039 Your research. 62 00:04:15,074 --> 00:04:16,941 Oh yes, the joyful discovery 63 00:04:16,976 --> 00:04:19,310 That headaches are a symptom of Parkinson's. 64 00:04:19,345 --> 00:04:21,713 That's one possible explanation. 65 00:04:21,747 --> 00:04:24,883 Well, I'm gonna ask the new neurologist. 66 00:04:24,917 --> 00:04:27,518 I'm seeing him on the 7th. 67 00:04:27,553 --> 00:04:30,688 - Could there be others? - Other neurologists? 68 00:04:30,723 --> 00:04:32,323 I don't doubt it. 69 00:04:32,358 --> 00:04:36,094 Other explanations for your headaches. 70 00:04:37,263 --> 00:04:39,731 How are things at home with... 71 00:04:39,765 --> 00:04:42,200 Max. 72 00:04:42,234 --> 00:04:44,736 My son's name is Max. 73 00:04:44,770 --> 00:04:47,138 - I remember. - You do? 74 00:04:47,172 --> 00:04:51,075 I just saw you were kind of searching for it there. 75 00:04:51,110 --> 00:04:52,877 No, I wasn't. 76 00:04:52,912 --> 00:04:56,381 So how are things at home? 77 00:04:56,415 --> 00:04:59,450 Do you remember I told you 78 00:04:59,485 --> 00:05:02,687 About my teenage patient, the adopted one? 79 00:05:02,721 --> 00:05:04,355 - Jesse. - Yeah. 80 00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:07,425 Well, he showed up with a black eye this week. 81 00:05:07,459 --> 00:05:09,327 Seems he got into a big fight, 82 00:05:09,361 --> 00:05:11,162 Suspended from school. 83 00:05:11,196 --> 00:05:13,164 Why do you bring him up? 84 00:05:13,198 --> 00:05:17,168 Because I've been worried about him. 85 00:05:19,104 --> 00:05:21,306 I... I don't see what the problem is. 86 00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:24,208 I asked how things were at home 87 00:05:24,243 --> 00:05:26,444 And you moved on to your teenage patient. 88 00:05:26,478 --> 00:05:28,212 You asked me if there were other reasons 89 00:05:28,247 --> 00:05:30,014 Why I've been suffering from headaches. 90 00:05:30,049 --> 00:05:31,983 You sit with Jesse 91 00:05:32,017 --> 00:05:34,052 And you'll know he's a valid answer. 92 00:05:34,086 --> 00:05:37,588 I've been concerned about his treatment. 93 00:05:37,623 --> 00:05:39,257 I'm just not certain anymore 94 00:05:39,291 --> 00:05:41,559 That I'm the right person to help him. 95 00:05:41,593 --> 00:05:43,561 Truth is, he might be better off 96 00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:45,463 If he were seeing you instead... 97 00:05:45,497 --> 00:05:47,465 Seeing anyone else, really. 98 00:05:47,499 --> 00:05:49,500 I actually came here today 99 00:05:49,535 --> 00:05:51,970 To ask your opinion. 100 00:05:52,004 --> 00:05:54,906 Earlier you said you came back because of Max. 101 00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:57,008 - Earlier as in... - Last week. 102 00:05:57,042 --> 00:05:59,143 - Oh. - You said he was your reason 103 00:05:59,178 --> 00:06:01,279 For returning to therapy. 104 00:06:01,313 --> 00:06:03,281 You said you wanted to discuss 105 00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:06,284 How best to tell him about your illness. 106 00:06:08,487 --> 00:06:10,221 You know... 107 00:06:13,425 --> 00:06:15,226 You seem upset. 108 00:06:17,563 --> 00:06:19,397 Have you been reading Gina's book? 109 00:06:19,431 --> 00:06:21,232 I'm sorry? 110 00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:23,334 Gina's book, 111 00:06:23,369 --> 00:06:25,303 Her critically acclaimed 112 00:06:25,337 --> 00:06:28,272 Deeply deluded work of fiction. 113 00:06:28,307 --> 00:06:30,942 I told you that's her big theory... 114 00:06:30,976 --> 00:06:34,278 That I invested in my patients 115 00:06:34,313 --> 00:06:37,382 At the expense of real relationships. 116 00:06:37,416 --> 00:06:40,585 I remember it upset you she gave a character these shortcomings. 117 00:06:40,619 --> 00:06:42,687 Oh yeah, it upset me. Do you know why? 118 00:06:42,721 --> 00:06:45,623 Because it's horseshit. 119 00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:48,926 You know, I can worry about my patients 120 00:06:48,961 --> 00:06:51,596 And still be there for my son. 121 00:06:51,630 --> 00:06:53,564 I'm... I'm... 122 00:06:53,599 --> 00:06:55,566 You know, I'm perfectly capable 123 00:06:55,601 --> 00:06:57,769 Of doing two things at once. 124 00:06:57,803 --> 00:07:00,204 In fact, I was just out with Max last night 125 00:07:00,239 --> 00:07:01,806 To see his favorite band. 126 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:04,709 - How was that? - It was fine. 127 00:07:04,743 --> 00:07:06,711 It was loud. 128 00:07:06,745 --> 00:07:09,614 It, you know, was... 129 00:07:09,648 --> 00:07:13,084 What was it? Every time I bring up Max, you seem to... 130 00:07:13,118 --> 00:07:15,853 Christ, I'm not trying to avoid your questions about Max, 131 00:07:15,888 --> 00:07:17,055 I promise you that. 132 00:07:17,089 --> 00:07:19,457 And the connection with Jesse will make sense 133 00:07:19,491 --> 00:07:21,592 If you'd just let me get to it. 134 00:07:21,627 --> 00:07:24,662 Of course. Please. 135 00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:31,836 Okay, 136 00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:34,372 Two days ago Jesse brings his mother in. 137 00:07:34,406 --> 00:07:36,240 - His... - Adoptive mother. 138 00:07:36,275 --> 00:07:39,077 He's trying to get me to tell her about his birth mother's phone call. 139 00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:41,012 Of course, I didn't want to do that. 140 00:07:41,046 --> 00:07:43,915 So Jesse finally blurts out the news himself. 141 00:07:43,949 --> 00:07:45,950 His mother flees the room immediately. 142 00:07:45,984 --> 00:07:49,020 Then Jesse accuses me of taking her side. 143 00:07:49,054 --> 00:07:50,321 Do you think that's...? 144 00:07:50,355 --> 00:07:51,456 He's right. 145 00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:53,991 I didn't realize it at the time, but... 146 00:07:54,026 --> 00:07:57,695 You see what's going on here, I'm sure. 147 00:07:57,729 --> 00:08:01,599 It's perfectly obvious what's at play. 148 00:08:01,633 --> 00:08:03,835 I'm not certain I... 149 00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:06,404 Okay. 150 00:08:09,108 --> 00:08:11,542 Here's this woman. She's sitting across from me. 151 00:08:11,577 --> 00:08:13,411 Her son is struggling. 152 00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:16,013 She's spent years raising this kid... 153 00:08:16,048 --> 00:08:18,015 Feeding him, clothing him, 154 00:08:18,050 --> 00:08:20,551 Trying to do the best she can 155 00:08:20,586 --> 00:08:23,154 To, you know, connect with him. 156 00:08:23,188 --> 00:08:25,490 Then in comes this other person, 157 00:08:25,524 --> 00:08:28,626 Swoops in, trying to claim him as her own. 158 00:08:28,660 --> 00:08:33,097 Of course I felt for her. 159 00:08:33,132 --> 00:08:37,168 You know? How could I not? 160 00:08:37,202 --> 00:08:39,370 You're talking about Kate's fiance. 161 00:08:39,404 --> 00:08:40,438 Steve. 162 00:08:40,472 --> 00:08:43,908 You feel he's swooping in, 163 00:08:43,942 --> 00:08:45,943 Trying to claim your children. 164 00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:47,645 He's done his best. 165 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,181 So clearly I'm less than objective here. 166 00:08:50,215 --> 00:08:52,917 My question for you is... 167 00:08:52,951 --> 00:08:54,919 Can I still 168 00:08:54,953 --> 00:08:58,256 Treat Jesse effectively? 169 00:08:58,290 --> 00:09:02,527 You're asking my advice 170 00:09:02,561 --> 00:09:04,061 About your practice? 171 00:09:04,096 --> 00:09:05,897 I'm asking your opinion. 172 00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:08,332 I'm asking you whether you think 173 00:09:08,367 --> 00:09:10,835 I've lost my objectivity. 174 00:09:12,371 --> 00:09:14,105 All right? 175 00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:17,708 I mean, you must have some opinion. 176 00:09:19,545 --> 00:09:22,146 What, are you so appalled by my admission 177 00:09:22,181 --> 00:09:25,149 That you're not even going to address it? 178 00:09:25,184 --> 00:09:28,452 I think the question you're asking 179 00:09:28,487 --> 00:09:31,889 Is one you might ask a supervisor. 180 00:09:31,924 --> 00:09:34,158 And what does that mean? 181 00:09:34,193 --> 00:09:37,962 You're asking me to step outside my role as your therapist. 182 00:09:37,996 --> 00:09:40,264 I know with Gina this was... 183 00:09:40,299 --> 00:09:42,867 Oh, we're back to Gina again. 184 00:09:42,901 --> 00:09:44,669 May I finish? 185 00:09:44,703 --> 00:09:46,771 Sure, go ahead. 186 00:09:46,805 --> 00:09:49,106 I know this was common practice with Gina. 187 00:09:49,141 --> 00:09:51,342 I'm not Gina. 188 00:09:51,376 --> 00:09:53,411 You say you're finding it hard 189 00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:55,580 To be objective with Jesse. 190 00:09:55,614 --> 00:09:57,949 You know this has a lot to do 191 00:09:57,983 --> 00:10:00,851 With your feelings about Max and Steve. 192 00:10:00,886 --> 00:10:03,854 You point this out. You make the connection. 193 00:10:03,889 --> 00:10:07,058 But then you'd rather not look at it. 194 00:10:07,092 --> 00:10:09,627 Maybe you can tell me some more about Steve. 195 00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:12,897 I don't know what exactly there is to say about him 196 00:10:12,931 --> 00:10:14,966 Except he's made my son miserable. 197 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,801 Has Max told you that? 198 00:10:16,835 --> 00:10:18,469 In his own words. 199 00:10:18,503 --> 00:10:19,804 Which were what? 200 00:10:19,838 --> 00:10:22,039 That the guy's a total putz, 201 00:10:22,074 --> 00:10:24,108 He's a warlock, a republican. 202 00:10:24,142 --> 00:10:26,210 Should I keep going? 203 00:10:26,245 --> 00:10:28,512 If you like. 204 00:10:28,547 --> 00:10:30,781 As soon as he bought Kate her ring, 205 00:10:30,816 --> 00:10:34,185 The warlock decided they should move into his castle. 206 00:10:34,219 --> 00:10:36,387 Oh, he's an architect 207 00:10:36,421 --> 00:10:39,924 And very proud of this modern monstrosity 208 00:10:39,958 --> 00:10:43,027 That he built in Aberdeen, Maryland. 209 00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:45,496 So he announces they're all gonna live there, 210 00:10:45,530 --> 00:10:47,331 Starting immediately, 211 00:10:47,366 --> 00:10:49,734 Even though Aberdeen is 40 minutes outside the city 212 00:10:49,768 --> 00:10:51,902 And Anour's bus ride from Max's school 213 00:10:51,937 --> 00:10:53,904 And the few friends that he has. 214 00:10:53,939 --> 00:10:56,440 And Max isn't happy with this arrangement? 215 00:10:56,475 --> 00:11:00,044 He traveled 200 miles alone on the train to prove it. 216 00:11:00,078 --> 00:11:03,381 And how have things been since he got here? 217 00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:07,084 Last week I signed Max up for school. 218 00:11:07,119 --> 00:11:10,321 I told you... a decent place around the corner. 219 00:11:10,355 --> 00:11:12,890 It's the third highest test scores in Brooklyn. 220 00:11:12,924 --> 00:11:15,760 But Kate and the republican... they don't approve. 221 00:11:15,794 --> 00:11:19,630 So she calls me twice a day to say that he's gonna pay for poly prep... 222 00:11:19,665 --> 00:11:21,899 Which is a mer 30 grand a year. 223 00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,968 And last time she lets it drop 224 00:11:24,002 --> 00:11:26,404 That he's prepared to cover college. 225 00:11:26,438 --> 00:11:28,239 This feels threatening? 226 00:11:28,273 --> 00:11:31,909 Oh, I guess I should be relieved, 227 00:11:31,943 --> 00:11:33,744 Let him support my kids for life. 228 00:11:33,779 --> 00:11:36,414 And I'll just retire tomorrow. 229 00:11:36,448 --> 00:11:38,416 Do you want to retire? 230 00:11:38,450 --> 00:11:40,084 Sometimes. 231 00:11:40,118 --> 00:11:42,086 You know, I've been trying to talk to you 232 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,088 About how poor a job I might be doing, 233 00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:48,326 Whether I'm failing certain patients, 234 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,328 But you're kind of making it clear 235 00:11:50,362 --> 00:11:52,730 That you don't want to discuss that. 236 00:11:52,764 --> 00:11:54,699 I wonder if you feel 237 00:11:54,733 --> 00:11:56,901 You may be failing your son too. 238 00:11:58,670 --> 00:12:02,073 Steve's presence obviously has affected your relationship. 239 00:12:02,107 --> 00:12:04,308 Can you tell me what disturbs you most about...? 240 00:12:04,343 --> 00:12:07,778 Apart from the fact that he's trying to buy my son's love, 241 00:12:07,813 --> 00:12:09,647 That he thinks he knows better 242 00:12:09,681 --> 00:12:12,149 What's right for my kid? 243 00:12:12,184 --> 00:12:14,151 It shouldn't be too hard to grasp 244 00:12:14,186 --> 00:12:16,187 What my problem is with Jesse... 245 00:12:16,221 --> 00:12:18,055 Why I don't know if I can treat him. 246 00:12:18,090 --> 00:12:20,224 'cause I see him obsessed 247 00:12:20,258 --> 00:12:23,561 With this new parent figure, 248 00:12:23,595 --> 00:12:25,329 Rejecting the people who raised him. 249 00:12:25,364 --> 00:12:27,865 But Max hasn't rejected you. 250 00:12:27,899 --> 00:12:30,601 He chose to live with you. 251 00:12:30,635 --> 00:12:33,371 He hasn't withdrawn. He's come closer. 252 00:12:33,405 --> 00:12:37,475 Well, geographically closer, yes. 253 00:12:37,509 --> 00:12:40,845 He still feels distant? 254 00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:44,081 Nothing's changed this week? 255 00:12:44,116 --> 00:12:46,450 He's still the same... 256 00:12:46,485 --> 00:12:49,954 Drawing, sleeping, monosyllabic. 257 00:12:51,356 --> 00:12:53,624 He was out of school for a couple days 258 00:12:53,658 --> 00:12:56,260 With a cold. 259 00:12:56,294 --> 00:12:58,662 It's not that. 260 00:12:58,697 --> 00:13:01,766 It bothers you deeply to see him unhappy. 261 00:13:03,101 --> 00:13:04,769 You said you took him out last night. 262 00:13:04,803 --> 00:13:06,937 How was he then? 263 00:13:13,445 --> 00:13:16,881 Do you know animal collective? 264 00:13:16,915 --> 00:13:19,683 I'm gonna assume that's a band. 265 00:13:19,718 --> 00:13:22,420 Max told me last month that he'd missed them 266 00:13:22,454 --> 00:13:25,055 When they played in Baltimore 267 00:13:25,090 --> 00:13:29,126 Because of his mother and Steve's engagement party. 268 00:13:29,161 --> 00:13:32,163 So I saw that they were playing here 269 00:13:32,197 --> 00:13:33,931 And I got tickets. 270 00:13:33,965 --> 00:13:35,766 It was the craziest scene... 271 00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,235 400 hypercharged kids 272 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:41,672 And a few traumatized parents. 273 00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:43,674 All the other kids were going berserk, 274 00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:45,342 Rushing the edge of the stage, 275 00:13:45,377 --> 00:13:47,711 Crushed together, screaming frantically. 276 00:13:47,746 --> 00:13:50,614 And Max? 277 00:13:50,649 --> 00:13:54,585 Max stayed pinned to my side. 278 00:13:54,619 --> 00:13:59,056 He went closer when I prodded him, but... 279 00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:00,357 What? 280 00:14:00,392 --> 00:14:02,126 You know, he kept coming back to check on me. 281 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,128 So I'd send him off again 282 00:14:04,162 --> 00:14:06,130 And he'd go stand at the edge of things, 283 00:14:06,164 --> 00:14:08,632 Against the side wall, with his hood on. 284 00:14:08,667 --> 00:14:11,168 It was... 285 00:14:13,572 --> 00:14:15,706 It was just hard for me to watch him. 286 00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:18,909 This is his favorite band? 287 00:14:18,944 --> 00:14:20,911 Yeah. 288 00:14:20,946 --> 00:14:23,113 You say it was hard for you to watch him. 289 00:14:23,148 --> 00:14:25,416 - Can you tell me why? - Because I'm his father. 290 00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:27,485 - Yes. - He's my son. 291 00:14:27,519 --> 00:14:31,622 You're asking me why it was hard for me to see him unhappy. 292 00:14:31,656 --> 00:14:34,758 Clearly you haven't had kids. 293 00:14:34,793 --> 00:14:38,329 I'm asking if you can describe in more detail 294 00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:40,664 What it felt like to watch him. 295 00:14:40,699 --> 00:14:44,902 You said he kept coming back to check on you. 296 00:14:44,936 --> 00:14:47,004 Why do you think that is? 297 00:14:47,038 --> 00:14:50,574 I was deafened by the noise. 298 00:14:50,609 --> 00:14:53,177 And... 299 00:14:53,211 --> 00:14:56,347 I couldn't help wondering how Sunil... 300 00:14:56,381 --> 00:14:58,315 What he would make of all this. 301 00:14:58,350 --> 00:15:01,252 - Sunil? Your patient? - Right. 302 00:15:01,286 --> 00:15:02,786 Why do you bring him up? 303 00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:05,089 I kept seeing the whole thing through his eyes... 304 00:15:05,123 --> 00:15:07,124 The assault of it, the frenzy. 305 00:15:07,158 --> 00:15:08,459 It was so... 306 00:15:08,493 --> 00:15:10,794 So extreme, so... 307 00:15:12,297 --> 00:15:14,798 So American. 308 00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,167 I know exactly how he feels, 309 00:15:17,202 --> 00:15:20,337 Why he locks himself off in that room. 310 00:15:20,372 --> 00:15:23,841 And you think Max somehow picked up on this? 311 00:15:23,875 --> 00:15:27,111 That's why he kept coming back to check on you? 312 00:15:27,145 --> 00:15:29,113 Surely you weren't the only parent 313 00:15:29,147 --> 00:15:32,750 Standing uncomfortably in the back. 314 00:15:32,784 --> 00:15:36,253 I... I guess I'm not so clear 315 00:15:36,288 --> 00:15:38,756 Why Max would be so concerned. 316 00:15:41,259 --> 00:15:43,761 Are you all right? 317 00:15:48,333 --> 00:15:50,167 Paul. 318 00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:52,736 I... 319 00:15:56,107 --> 00:15:59,143 I made a terrible mistake. 320 00:16:00,478 --> 00:16:02,513 Tell me. 321 00:16:02,547 --> 00:16:05,849 I let Max use my computer before we left 322 00:16:05,884 --> 00:16:07,751 To find the directions to the concert, 323 00:16:07,786 --> 00:16:09,920 And I... 324 00:16:09,955 --> 00:16:12,189 I didn't realize I hadn't cleared 325 00:16:12,223 --> 00:16:13,857 The searches from the list 326 00:16:13,892 --> 00:16:16,961 From the... the history. 327 00:16:16,995 --> 00:16:19,029 So I walk into the room 328 00:16:19,064 --> 00:16:22,466 And he's scrolling through this list of searches, 329 00:16:22,500 --> 00:16:25,536 Hundreds of them... Parkinson's institute, 330 00:16:25,570 --> 00:16:28,072 Parkinson's disease foundation. 331 00:16:28,106 --> 00:16:30,341 I know all of them by heart. 332 00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:31,675 And... 333 00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:33,577 What? 334 00:16:33,612 --> 00:16:38,082 I just... I just knew from his face 335 00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:40,084 Exactly what he'd seen. 336 00:16:40,118 --> 00:16:42,419 And he... 337 00:16:42,454 --> 00:16:45,155 Asked me... 338 00:16:49,394 --> 00:16:51,996 If I was sick. 339 00:16:53,598 --> 00:16:56,533 - What did you say? - I said no. 340 00:16:56,568 --> 00:17:00,504 I said it... that wasn't about me. 341 00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:03,674 I was researching for a patient. 342 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:07,911 But Max is... he's exceptionally bright. 343 00:17:07,946 --> 00:17:10,714 It's never been easy to lie to him. 344 00:17:10,749 --> 00:17:12,783 His sister's seven years older, 345 00:17:12,817 --> 00:17:15,653 And he told her there was no tooth fairy. 346 00:17:17,889 --> 00:17:19,823 Did you consider telling him the truth? 347 00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:22,192 I was just in shock. 348 00:17:23,294 --> 00:17:27,064 And he was just looking at me 349 00:17:27,098 --> 00:17:30,034 With his big eyes. 350 00:17:30,068 --> 00:17:32,636 And I thought, 351 00:17:32,671 --> 00:17:34,605 "he's scared." 352 00:17:34,639 --> 00:17:36,874 Get through the moment, get out the door, 353 00:17:36,908 --> 00:17:39,576 See the concert. You can ruin his life later, 354 00:17:39,611 --> 00:17:41,478 "Not like this though. Not right now." 355 00:17:41,513 --> 00:17:43,947 I mean, it's fucking crazy... 356 00:17:43,982 --> 00:17:47,084 All this time I'm consumed with how best to break it, 357 00:17:47,118 --> 00:17:49,286 And then to have it happen like this, 358 00:17:49,354 --> 00:17:51,722 In... 359 00:17:51,756 --> 00:17:54,725 In the worst possible way. 360 00:17:54,759 --> 00:17:57,094 Was that the entire conversation? 361 00:17:57,128 --> 00:17:59,396 Pretty much. 362 00:17:59,431 --> 00:18:01,865 We got home. I put him to bed. 363 00:18:01,900 --> 00:18:04,168 And I went to my computer 364 00:18:04,202 --> 00:18:06,570 And I just erased the whole history. 365 00:18:06,604 --> 00:18:09,973 Then I had a drink. 366 00:18:10,008 --> 00:18:12,342 And then 367 00:18:12,377 --> 00:18:15,079 I had a few more. 368 00:18:15,113 --> 00:18:17,181 And then I went to sleep. 369 00:18:17,215 --> 00:18:21,051 And I didn't wake up till Max called me for school. 370 00:18:21,086 --> 00:18:24,755 So there. 371 00:18:24,789 --> 00:18:27,091 There's your other explanation 372 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:30,427 For my now splitting headache. 373 00:18:30,462 --> 00:18:32,396 It is worse, having told me? 374 00:18:32,430 --> 00:18:35,799 I shouldn't have had those drinks. I know that. 375 00:18:35,834 --> 00:18:37,935 I don't drink alone. 376 00:18:39,604 --> 00:18:42,706 After the night that I had... 377 00:18:42,741 --> 00:18:45,642 You said you went to bed after your drinks 378 00:18:45,677 --> 00:18:47,945 And slept till morning. 379 00:18:47,979 --> 00:18:49,113 That's right. 380 00:18:49,147 --> 00:18:51,782 You didn't wake up? 381 00:18:51,816 --> 00:18:53,517 Did you have your dream? 382 00:18:53,551 --> 00:18:56,086 I... I... I... I don't know. 383 00:18:56,121 --> 00:18:58,122 I may have. 384 00:18:58,156 --> 00:19:00,524 I don't remember really. 385 00:19:00,558 --> 00:19:02,526 Am I right that this is the first time 386 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,628 You were able to sleep well in months? 387 00:19:04,662 --> 00:19:08,132 Well, I guess I've got the whisky to thank for that. 388 00:19:08,166 --> 00:19:10,367 I'm wondering if there's another reason 389 00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:11,935 You were able to sleep well 390 00:19:11,970 --> 00:19:13,704 Quite apart from the alcohol. 391 00:19:13,738 --> 00:19:17,207 Why do I have the feeling that I'm not gonna like this? 392 00:19:17,242 --> 00:19:19,409 You mentioned that in the morning 393 00:19:19,444 --> 00:19:20,878 It was Max who woke you up. 394 00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:24,014 - Mm-hmm. - Does he usually wake you up or...? 395 00:19:24,048 --> 00:19:26,416 It was late. I was sleeping. 396 00:19:26,451 --> 00:19:29,153 - I understand. What I'm ask... - he was late for school. 397 00:19:29,187 --> 00:19:32,322 I was sleeping. You know, I don't know what you're getting at. 398 00:19:32,357 --> 00:19:34,525 - What I'm try... - it isn't relevant. 399 00:19:34,559 --> 00:19:36,894 It isn't meaningful. It was just a hangover. 400 00:19:36,928 --> 00:19:39,530 You're speaking very loudly. 401 00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:45,068 Sorry. 402 00:19:48,473 --> 00:19:51,675 Are you suggesting that I left my Internet history up 403 00:19:51,709 --> 00:19:53,844 On purpose, for Max to discover? 404 00:19:53,878 --> 00:19:57,247 I think it can be a dead end to try to ascribe intentionality. 405 00:19:57,282 --> 00:19:59,283 - Let's just... - oh Jesus, come on. Listen to you. 406 00:19:59,317 --> 00:20:00,951 You sound like a textbook... 407 00:20:00,985 --> 00:20:04,321 "when patient tries to ascribe"... 408 00:20:06,724 --> 00:20:09,393 Damn it. 409 00:20:09,427 --> 00:20:11,395 Damn it. 410 00:20:11,429 --> 00:20:12,896 Are you all right? 411 00:20:12,931 --> 00:20:14,565 No. 412 00:20:14,599 --> 00:20:16,400 Would you like some water? 413 00:20:16,434 --> 00:20:19,169 No, thank you. 414 00:20:19,204 --> 00:20:21,171 Let's talk about the effects 415 00:20:21,206 --> 00:20:23,774 Max's discovery has had on you. 416 00:20:23,808 --> 00:20:26,276 The scene you described to me... 417 00:20:26,311 --> 00:20:28,378 Max coming to check on you at the concert, 418 00:20:28,413 --> 00:20:30,380 Getting you up in the morning... 419 00:20:30,415 --> 00:20:33,317 Does that dynamic seem familiar to you? 420 00:20:34,519 --> 00:20:38,121 A child caring for a parent. 421 00:20:38,156 --> 00:20:40,991 When, you said, your own mother wasn't well 422 00:20:41,025 --> 00:20:45,295 You had to take care of her when you were young. 423 00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:49,199 And now here's Max taking care of you. 424 00:20:51,469 --> 00:20:54,438 Can you tell me what you're thinking? 425 00:20:54,472 --> 00:20:56,673 Honestly? 426 00:20:56,708 --> 00:20:58,842 Please. 427 00:20:58,877 --> 00:21:02,846 I wish I could tell you to go fuck yourself. 428 00:21:02,881 --> 00:21:05,749 What's stopping you? 429 00:21:11,489 --> 00:21:14,424 I don't know what you must think of me. 430 00:21:14,459 --> 00:21:16,059 What must I think of you? 431 00:21:16,094 --> 00:21:19,196 I'm subjecting my son to the same misery I went through. 432 00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:21,098 Not only that but I... 433 00:21:23,735 --> 00:21:27,137 I'm getting some kind of 434 00:21:27,171 --> 00:21:29,406 Comfort from it, 435 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:31,575 Sleeping like a baby through the night. 436 00:21:31,609 --> 00:21:33,777 I mean... 437 00:21:35,647 --> 00:21:38,982 I don't know how you can stand to look at me. 438 00:21:39,017 --> 00:21:41,518 When I look at you, 439 00:21:41,552 --> 00:21:44,621 I see a father profoundly concerned for his son. 440 00:21:48,159 --> 00:21:50,360 Fuck. Fuck it. 441 00:21:50,395 --> 00:21:53,163 Fuck. 442 00:21:53,197 --> 00:21:56,400 I've got to meet Max in 20 minutes. 443 00:21:56,434 --> 00:21:59,703 I have to take him to Penn station for a 6:50 train. 444 00:21:59,737 --> 00:22:01,939 He's spending the weekend 445 00:22:01,973 --> 00:22:05,275 With Kate and Steve. 446 00:22:07,779 --> 00:22:10,347 I don't know if I can face him. 447 00:22:10,381 --> 00:22:12,716 What frightens you? 448 00:22:12,750 --> 00:22:15,852 That he's gonna look up at me 449 00:22:15,887 --> 00:22:18,956 And pretend... 450 00:22:18,990 --> 00:22:22,926 Just pretend that everything is fine 451 00:22:22,961 --> 00:22:25,862 When the truth is 452 00:22:25,897 --> 00:22:28,765 That he's worrying that I'm dying. 453 00:22:30,601 --> 00:22:33,704 He'll be thinking 454 00:22:33,738 --> 00:22:36,373 If I'm unfit to be his father. 455 00:22:36,407 --> 00:22:40,110 Are you unfit to be his father? 456 00:22:41,346 --> 00:22:43,313 I think you've been working very hard 457 00:22:43,348 --> 00:22:45,315 To prove you're unfit... 458 00:22:45,350 --> 00:22:48,352 To yourself, to your neurologist, to Max, 459 00:22:48,386 --> 00:22:50,087 To me. 460 00:22:51,889 --> 00:22:53,290 How to you? 461 00:22:53,324 --> 00:22:54,958 Since you came in today, 462 00:22:54,993 --> 00:22:56,994 You've tried to get me to take care of you. 463 00:22:57,028 --> 00:22:59,496 You've asked me for painkillers. 464 00:22:59,530 --> 00:23:02,966 You even imagined I'd give you morphine. 465 00:23:03,001 --> 00:23:05,702 You asked for help with one of your patients, 466 00:23:05,737 --> 00:23:09,439 Even suggesting I would do a better job with one of them, 467 00:23:09,474 --> 00:23:11,375 Despite the fact, 468 00:23:11,409 --> 00:23:13,410 As you are very fond of pointing out, 469 00:23:13,444 --> 00:23:17,481 You have 20 years of clinical experience over me. 470 00:23:20,351 --> 00:23:22,452 I think I'm beginning to understand 471 00:23:22,487 --> 00:23:25,288 How the dynamic between you and Gina developed, 472 00:23:25,323 --> 00:23:27,891 How she came to play 473 00:23:27,925 --> 00:23:30,193 So many roles in your life... 474 00:23:30,228 --> 00:23:35,098 Supervisor, mentor, therapist, 475 00:23:35,133 --> 00:23:37,567 Mother. 476 00:23:39,404 --> 00:23:42,806 How was it you say she presented you in the novel? 477 00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,776 Needy, childish, 478 00:23:45,810 --> 00:23:49,279 Poor husband, deficient father? 479 00:23:50,915 --> 00:23:54,351 Is it possible that you convinced her 480 00:23:54,385 --> 00:23:58,989 That you were, in fact, incapable? 481 00:23:59,023 --> 00:24:03,093 That you've convinced yourself? 482 00:24:03,127 --> 00:24:06,063 Why would I do that? 483 00:24:10,368 --> 00:24:12,602 Why would I do that? 484 00:24:22,947 --> 00:24:25,415 You said Max's train's at 6:50? 485 00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:28,718 Yeah, I should... 486 00:24:28,753 --> 00:24:31,388 I should go get him. 487 00:24:35,993 --> 00:24:39,863 Paul, we'll talk next week. 488 00:24:42,233 --> 00:24:44,267 Yeah. 489 00:24:51,542 --> 00:24:55,542 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com