1
00:00:01,513 --> 00:00:02,686
My fiancee's
family is against me,
2
00:00:02,747 --> 00:00:04,145
so I need you
to take a letter to her.
3
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:06,245
- It's a matter of the heart.
- I need your help.
4
00:00:06,313 --> 00:00:09,545
- Hide under the table!
- So Hee is a he, but also a she?
5
00:00:09,613 --> 00:00:12,612
- Yes. -Your urine
tested off the charts
6
00:00:12,682 --> 00:00:14,245
for T.H.C.
7
00:00:14,312 --> 00:00:17,668
I've been smoking marijuana
but for medicinal purposes.
8
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:20,113
A sociopath sent me
three hate letters this week.
9
00:00:20,180 --> 00:00:23,846
I'd like to be a blonde femme
fatale in one of your stories.
10
00:00:23,914 --> 00:00:25,546
I got the money!
11
00:00:27,014 --> 00:00:28,547
I started going to this dungeon
12
00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:31,314
and I need to clear my name
off of their computer.
13
00:00:31,382 --> 00:00:32,982
I'll call you tomorrow, Leah!
14
00:00:33,049 --> 00:00:35,147
Shut up. God.
15
00:00:36,085 --> 00:00:45,049
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
16
00:00:45,182 --> 00:00:49,182
♪ All the shadows
in the city ♪
17
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:52,851
♪ used to love you,
what a pity ♪
18
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,920
♪ I miss the questions
you used to ask me ♪
19
00:00:56,954 --> 00:01:01,022
♪ bored to death,
cut, mad and lonely ♪
20
00:01:01,056 --> 00:01:04,889
♪ bored to death, cut,
mad and lonely... ♪
21
00:01:04,923 --> 00:01:07,024
- ( coughs )
- ♪ Bored to death ♪
22
00:01:07,058 --> 00:01:09,524
♪ cut, mad and lonely. ♪
23
00:01:11,224 --> 00:01:12,724
( whistle blows )
24
00:01:26,664 --> 00:01:29,129
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
25
00:01:30,364 --> 00:01:32,331
( Sighs )
26
00:01:32,365 --> 00:01:34,332
So what do you
have to do today?
27
00:01:34,366 --> 00:01:36,166
You want to spend it in bed?
28
00:01:36,201 --> 00:01:37,801
I'd love to, but I can't.
29
00:01:37,835 --> 00:01:39,835
I've got my Midwood
college interview.
30
00:01:39,870 --> 00:01:42,437
- I'm nervous about it.
- I'll hire you.
31
00:01:42,471 --> 00:01:45,906
I think you were
a great teacher.
32
00:01:50,843 --> 00:01:53,110
I've got to say, Nina,
last night was incredible.
33
00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:55,078
- It was an amazing first date.
- I know.
34
00:01:55,112 --> 00:01:57,646
When I get going
I'm like a bee's nest.
35
00:01:57,647 --> 00:02:00,815
So you think I should move in?
36
00:02:00,849 --> 00:02:04,417
- What? - Well, I'm going
to be kicked out of my room
37
00:02:04,451 --> 00:02:08,629
in Bushwick in a few days
and, um, I lost my job.
38
00:02:08,654 --> 00:02:11,988
I might have to go back to
Portland and be with my parents.
39
00:02:12,023 --> 00:02:13,522
You'd leave New York?
40
00:02:13,565 --> 00:02:15,424
But we just met.
We had such a great night.
41
00:02:15,458 --> 00:02:18,459
I know. That's why I
think I should move in.
42
00:02:18,493 --> 00:02:22,228
I already know I want to
be with you every night.
43
00:02:22,263 --> 00:02:24,930
Also, I'm going to be homeless.
44
00:02:24,965 --> 00:02:27,899
God, Nina, this is so sudden.
Um...
45
00:02:27,934 --> 00:02:30,768
Do I have a little time to think
about this... your moving in?
46
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:32,702
Sure.
47
00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:35,270
Is two days enough time?
48
00:02:35,305 --> 00:02:36,705
I guess.
49
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:41,108
- ( Cell phone rings )
- Sorry. One second.
50
00:02:41,142 --> 00:02:43,243
- Hello? - You gotta get
over here right now.
51
00:02:43,277 --> 00:02:45,644
I'm having a crisis
and an emergency.
52
00:02:45,679 --> 00:02:48,112
Right now? I'm sort of in
the middle of someone...
53
00:02:48,147 --> 00:02:50,681
- Uh, something.
- Yes, right now.
54
00:02:50,715 --> 00:02:51,948
I need you, okay?
55
00:02:51,983 --> 00:02:54,917
I'll be over there in
five minutes, 10, 15...
56
00:02:54,951 --> 00:02:56,484
Hello?
God damn it.
57
00:02:56,518 --> 00:02:58,085
He always hangs up on me.
58
00:02:58,119 --> 00:03:01,954
As you know, George, we're all
very happy you don't have cancer.
59
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:04,890
It's just wonderful.
I'm so relieved.
60
00:03:04,924 --> 00:03:07,691
- Thank you.
- But since it was a false alarm,
61
00:03:07,726 --> 00:03:10,427
we do need to do something
about that failed drug test.
62
00:03:10,462 --> 00:03:13,230
But that marijuana
was for my cancer.
63
00:03:13,264 --> 00:03:16,099
The cancer that
you didn't have, George.
64
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:18,869
Yes, but I didn't
know that at the time.
65
00:03:18,903 --> 00:03:20,336
George, ease.
66
00:03:20,371 --> 00:03:22,371
We're going
to have you evaluated
67
00:03:22,406 --> 00:03:24,340
by our substance abuse expert.
68
00:03:24,374 --> 00:03:26,708
- Oh! - He will determine
a course of treatment.
69
00:03:26,743 --> 00:03:28,843
It'll either be
rehab in Arizona
70
00:03:28,878 --> 00:03:31,179
or an out-patient treatment
here in New York.
71
00:03:31,213 --> 00:03:33,080
Katherine, this is ridiculous.
72
00:03:33,115 --> 00:03:36,649
Rehab?
What about a... a... a sanitarium?
73
00:03:36,684 --> 00:03:37,884
I would do that.
74
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,719
You know, it's more romantic.
75
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:42,120
It's more Zelda Fitzgerald.
76
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:43,321
But rehab?
77
00:03:43,355 --> 00:03:45,790
Going to rehab
is company protocol.
78
00:03:45,824 --> 00:03:47,725
We can't make exceptions.
79
00:03:47,759 --> 00:03:49,692
All right, all right, all right.
80
00:03:49,727 --> 00:03:54,296
What if I promised that I would
just quit, go cold turkey?
81
00:03:54,331 --> 00:03:56,165
I wouldn't believe you.
82
00:04:00,403 --> 00:04:03,905
My stalker sent me 12 emails
last night, all of them rude.
83
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:07,741
And this was left downstairs
in the vestibule this morning!
84
00:04:07,775 --> 00:04:10,443
Oh man, this is really creepy.
85
00:04:10,477 --> 00:04:13,780
There's some sort of a blade
sticking out of your shoulder.
86
00:04:13,814 --> 00:04:15,448
It is a nib
of an x-acto knife.
87
00:04:15,482 --> 00:04:17,283
A nib?
I like that word.
88
00:04:17,317 --> 00:04:18,818
- Nib. Nib. Nib.
- Jonathan!
89
00:04:18,852 --> 00:04:21,253
This is serious!
This is some kind of sick voodoo doll.
90
00:04:21,288 --> 00:04:22,755
We gotta confront this guy.
91
00:04:22,789 --> 00:04:25,224
- He was right here in my building.
- Oh shit.
92
00:04:25,258 --> 00:04:29,027
- What? - He gave Super
Ray a beautiful vagina.
93
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:33,098
Your stalker is a really talented
seamstress... but no anus.
94
00:04:33,132 --> 00:04:36,668
Give me this!
( Growls )
95
00:04:39,574 --> 00:04:41,739
I'm really sorry
about this, Ray.
96
00:04:41,773 --> 00:04:43,842
Who do you think it could be?
97
00:04:46,379 --> 00:04:48,981
I don't know.
Kevin bacon?
98
00:04:49,015 --> 00:04:51,216
He was weird when I met him.
99
00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:54,185
No, I don't think a celebrity
would do such a thing.
100
00:04:54,220 --> 00:04:56,988
Maybe there's a clue
in the emails.
101
00:04:59,291 --> 00:05:01,491
- What's this?
- That's my Super Ray outfit.
102
00:05:01,528 --> 00:05:03,561
I was going to wear it tonight
at the Brooklyn comic con.
103
00:05:03,595 --> 00:05:06,097
- I thought my fans would like it.
- God, it's strange
104
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:08,099
that you should make
a Super Ray outfit
105
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,335
and your stalker
should make a Super Ray doll.
106
00:05:10,369 --> 00:05:12,470
It's like when there were
two Truman Capote movies.
107
00:05:12,504 --> 00:05:14,973
This is nothing like that!
108
00:05:15,007 --> 00:05:19,010
We have to find this guy.
Will you concentrate on that, please?
109
00:05:19,044 --> 00:05:21,980
I think we need outside help.
110
00:05:22,014 --> 00:05:24,015
I have a source who owes me.
111
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,184
It's time I collected.
112
00:05:28,788 --> 00:05:31,122
So...
113
00:05:31,156 --> 00:05:33,291
This was left on your door
114
00:05:33,325 --> 00:05:36,160
- at your house?
- Yes.
115
00:05:36,195 --> 00:05:38,463
And there was a nib of an
x-acto knife in the shoulder,
116
00:05:38,497 --> 00:05:39,864
but it fell out
when I threw the thing.
117
00:05:39,898 --> 00:05:41,999
- A nib?
- You can see why we're concerned.
118
00:05:42,034 --> 00:05:43,434
Yes yes.
119
00:05:45,904 --> 00:05:48,306
Do you think that this guy
could make me one?
120
00:05:49,975 --> 00:05:52,210
Okay, it's a doll
with a police uniform...
121
00:05:52,244 --> 00:05:54,145
One of these underneath,
122
00:05:54,179 --> 00:05:56,147
you know, all secret?
123
00:05:56,181 --> 00:06:00,284
This isn't some friend of ours
that custom-makes voodoo dolls!
124
00:06:00,319 --> 00:06:02,119
This is a deranged stalker!
125
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,121
Officer Drake, please!
We need you to focus.
126
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,190
I'm so sorry, fellas.
I really am.
127
00:06:06,224 --> 00:06:09,604
You know I have issues.
I just... Sorry.
128
00:06:09,627 --> 00:06:12,262
Is there any way you can track
down who sent these emails?
129
00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:14,299
Ll, I mean, anybody can open up
130
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:16,667
a hotmail account.
It's very easy.
131
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:19,870
But there is, uh, the same unique
IP address on all of these.
132
00:06:19,904 --> 00:06:21,305
You could run a trace
133
00:06:21,339 --> 00:06:23,508
and then you can get a
location on the computer.
134
00:06:23,553 --> 00:06:25,108
Great. That's what we need.
Thank you!
135
00:06:25,142 --> 00:06:28,278
Whoa! Hey! I... I can't
help you, Jonathan.
136
00:06:28,312 --> 00:06:30,346
I would love to,
but I could lose my job.
137
00:06:30,381 --> 00:06:33,149
- I can't do that.
- Office Drake, there were complications
138
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,385
involved in your case
that I never told you about.
139
00:06:35,419 --> 00:06:38,321
But I went to great lengths
for you, as did Ray.
140
00:06:38,355 --> 00:06:40,256
Yeah, it's because of you
I got shot in the head,
141
00:06:40,291 --> 00:06:43,259
then I had to go New Jersey and have
breakfast with Jonathan's parents.
142
00:06:43,294 --> 00:06:46,396
- Oh God. That's awful.
- There's also the matter of my fee.
143
00:06:46,431 --> 00:06:48,398
Oh, I really...
I keep meaning to pay you.
144
00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:50,967
- It's just that every
time I... - Do this for me
145
00:06:51,002 --> 00:06:54,271
and your debt will be canceled.
146
00:06:54,305 --> 00:06:55,939
And you can keep the doll.
147
00:06:57,308 --> 00:06:59,676
- Really?
- Yes.
148
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:01,378
All right.
149
00:07:01,412 --> 00:07:03,046
Wait here.
Ll be right back.
150
00:07:07,919 --> 00:07:09,953
Cops.
Unbelievable.
151
00:07:14,593 --> 00:07:17,028
If he sticks a pencil
up my twat
152
00:07:17,062 --> 00:07:20,830
and I feel I
I'm gonna regret this.
153
00:07:30,940 --> 00:07:33,208
I knew officer Drake
would come through for us.
154
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,743
This must be it.
155
00:07:34,778 --> 00:07:36,679
Great, it's a public computer.
Anybody could have used it.
156
00:07:36,713 --> 00:07:39,748
I don't think so. Look...
"For patrons only."
157
00:07:39,783 --> 00:07:42,117
- He must be a patron.
- Oh yeah, you're right.
158
00:07:42,152 --> 00:07:44,285
Nobody disobeys
a handwritten sign.
159
00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:51,124
- How much money do you have on you?
- A lot.
160
00:07:51,158 --> 00:07:52,959
The comic book's
selling like crazy.
161
00:07:52,993 --> 00:07:55,295
Good.
162
00:08:01,168 --> 00:08:04,104
We just need to rewind this tape to
the time the last email was sent
163
00:08:04,138 --> 00:08:06,524
and we should be able to get
a good look at our guy.
164
00:08:11,645 --> 00:08:13,746
1:12 A.M.
And look, there he is!
165
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:16,648
Damn.
We can't see his face.
166
00:08:16,683 --> 00:08:19,251
- Do you recognize this guy?
- I recognize his hat.
167
00:08:19,285 --> 00:08:22,588
He wears it all the time.
He's a guest here.
168
00:08:25,625 --> 00:08:29,595
What's his name
and what room is he in?
169
00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:31,897
- Make it 40?
- Don't push it, clerk.
170
00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:36,168
John Doe-Smith,
are you in there?
171
00:08:36,202 --> 00:08:38,804
- I can't believe he has
such a weak alias. - I know.
172
00:08:38,839 --> 00:08:41,140
The voodoo puppet showed
a lot of creativity,
173
00:08:41,174 --> 00:08:43,442
but his fake name is
definitely lacking.
174
00:08:43,477 --> 00:08:46,412
Though hyphenating Doe-Smith
is sort of interesting.
175
00:08:50,283 --> 00:08:52,217
Anybody home?
176
00:08:52,252 --> 00:08:54,653
Any stalkers?
177
00:08:59,025 --> 00:09:03,062
Oh my God, he's practically
wallpapered this place
178
00:09:03,096 --> 00:09:04,764
with "Super Ray" comics.
179
00:09:04,798 --> 00:09:06,800
He must have bought 0 copies.
180
00:09:08,603 --> 00:09:10,804
It's like you have
your own serial killer.
181
00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:13,006
At least he helped the sales.
182
00:09:13,041 --> 00:09:15,942
You know, Ray, I do have my
Midwood college interview at 5:00,
183
00:09:15,976 --> 00:09:18,578
but we could probably stake this
place out for a little while,
184
00:09:18,613 --> 00:09:20,581
wait and see if he shows up
and then confront him.
185
00:09:20,633 --> 00:09:22,115
Okay.
186
00:09:22,150 --> 00:09:24,184
Do you think it's safe
to eat my stalker's food?
187
00:09:24,219 --> 00:09:27,421
Is it open? If it's open I don't think
we want contact with his germs.
188
00:09:27,455 --> 00:09:29,656
It's not open.
And it's organic.
189
00:09:29,691 --> 00:09:31,492
Then it's probably safe.
190
00:09:37,198 --> 00:09:41,547
So before I begin the evaluation, Mr.
Christopher,
191
00:09:41,568 --> 00:09:43,966
I just want you to know
I'm a big fan.
192
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:47,536
I read your "by George"
column for years.
193
00:09:47,570 --> 00:09:49,871
Really?
Well, thank you.
194
00:09:49,905 --> 00:09:52,374
Anyway, um,
195
00:09:52,408 --> 00:09:54,810
from your test results,
Mr. Christopher,
196
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:58,413
it appears your drug
of choice is marijuana.
197
00:09:58,447 --> 00:10:01,316
- Is that correct?
- It's my first choice, yes.
198
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,786
So what does
marijuana give you?
199
00:10:04,820 --> 00:10:09,591
Well, I become more aware of
how beautiful everything is.
200
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:14,128
And what does marijuana take
away from you, Mr. Christopher?
201
00:10:14,163 --> 00:10:19,367
Off the top of my head, I'd say
boredom, loneliness, pain.
202
00:10:19,401 --> 00:10:22,546
And are you in pain
because you feel unlovable,
203
00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:25,579
unknowable
and shrouded in secrets?
204
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:36,951
I... I mean I put on a brave
front, and all that,
205
00:10:36,985 --> 00:10:40,021
but you know, inside I
tear at myself with claws.
206
00:10:40,055 --> 00:10:41,789
How do you feel here
at the workplace?
207
00:10:41,823 --> 00:10:43,457
Likeoby-dick.
208
00:10:43,492 --> 00:10:48,228
They stick me
with dozens of harpoons.
209
00:10:48,262 --> 00:10:50,263
So you're clawed on the inside
210
00:10:50,298 --> 00:10:52,432
and harpooned on the outside.
211
00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:56,488
- Yeah.
- That's how I feel.
212
00:10:56,504 --> 00:10:58,238
I suppress a lot of anger.
213
00:10:58,272 --> 00:11:00,073
Secretly,
I'm like a tea kettle,
214
00:11:00,107 --> 00:11:03,076
always ready
to scream out in agony.
215
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:04,711
What do you do about it?
216
00:11:04,745 --> 00:11:07,480
I pray and I try
to help others,
217
00:11:07,514 --> 00:11:09,381
and I wear a mouth guard
at night.
218
00:11:09,416 --> 00:11:11,384
Oh right right.
219
00:11:11,418 --> 00:11:15,354
Well, I've made my diagnosis.
220
00:11:15,388 --> 00:11:17,256
You're a marijuana addict
221
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,825
with narcissistic
personality disorder.
222
00:11:19,859 --> 00:11:21,541
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.
223
00:11:21,579 --> 00:11:23,629
Why the narcissistic part?
224
00:11:25,331 --> 00:11:27,198
Oh, no no.
225
00:11:27,233 --> 00:11:29,233
No, that was a gift.
226
00:11:29,268 --> 00:11:31,369
So I'm recommending
to your superior
227
00:11:31,403 --> 00:11:33,938
that you do two months
of rehab in Arizona.
228
00:11:33,972 --> 00:11:35,772
What? Two months!
Oh no.
229
00:11:35,807 --> 00:11:37,474
That's n possible!
230
00:11:37,526 --> 00:11:39,243
You said you were a fan!
231
00:11:39,277 --> 00:11:41,211
Come on, cut me a deal!
232
00:11:41,246 --> 00:11:43,180
- A deal?
- Well...
233
00:11:43,215 --> 00:11:46,151
Mr. Christopher,
I'm making my prescription
234
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:48,019
because I'm a fan.
235
00:11:50,190 --> 00:11:52,558
I don't want you to be
in pain anymore.
236
00:11:52,604 --> 00:11:55,160
- ( Door opens )
- Excuse me, Mr. Christopher,
237
00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:57,028
there's something
I really need to show you.
238
00:11:57,063 --> 00:11:59,064
I don't tolerate interruptions
239
00:11:59,099 --> 00:12:01,933
- during therapeutic evaluations!
- What is your name?
240
00:12:01,968 --> 00:12:04,302
What is your name?
241
00:12:04,336 --> 00:12:06,238
It's Steven,
Mr. Christopher.
242
00:12:06,272 --> 00:12:08,207
- With a "v" or a "ph"?
- A "v."
243
00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:09,675
Close your mouth.
244
00:12:09,709 --> 00:12:11,744
Do you think it's crazy
to let Nina move in?
245
00:12:11,778 --> 00:12:14,780
- Yes.
- But the sex was incredible.
246
00:12:14,814 --> 00:12:16,522
It actually felt meaningful.
247
00:12:18,051 --> 00:12:20,186
Then definitely
don't let her move in.
248
00:12:20,220 --> 00:12:22,288
I had meaningful sex
with Leah once a month,
249
00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:25,224
- look what happened to me.
- Right.
250
00:12:25,258 --> 00:12:28,060
- Shit, I better leave soon
for my interview. - Shh shh.
251
00:12:28,094 --> 00:12:30,963
- ( Keys jangle )
- ( Lock clicks )
252
00:12:30,997 --> 00:12:35,067
- ( Cell phone ringing ) - Jonathan:
Oh, he's making a run for it!
253
00:12:38,337 --> 00:12:40,806
- He's heading for the roof!
- Get him!
254
00:12:46,044 --> 00:12:47,845
He killed himself.
255
00:12:49,781 --> 00:12:51,415
Holy shit.
He knows parkour.
256
00:12:51,449 --> 00:12:54,984
That's right. Run, you asshole!
I can find you now!
257
00:12:55,019 --> 00:12:57,988
You hear me, you seamstress?
Seamstress.
258
00:12:59,890 --> 00:13:03,225
- What are you doing?
- Anything your stalker can do, I can do!
259
00:13:04,493 --> 00:13:06,426
Stop! No no no no no.
Oh God God.
260
00:13:08,295 --> 00:13:09,628
Ahh!
261
00:13:10,697 --> 00:13:12,131
Jonathan, are you all right?
262
00:13:12,165 --> 00:13:15,334
I twisted my ankle!
He got away.
263
00:13:15,368 --> 00:13:17,635
I'm sorry I let you down!
264
00:13:17,670 --> 00:13:19,303
You're an idiot.
265
00:13:20,972 --> 00:13:22,739
Thanks for understanding.
266
00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:24,440
Ow!
267
00:13:24,475 --> 00:13:27,143
I can't believe this.
268
00:13:27,177 --> 00:13:29,478
I feel a profound revulsion
269
00:13:29,512 --> 00:13:31,313
in my spine,
270
00:13:31,347 --> 00:13:33,214
in my... in my liver,
in my kidneys,
271
00:13:33,249 --> 00:13:35,950
my gallbladder,
in my... Uh...
272
00:13:35,984 --> 00:13:38,718
What are some other organs?
I'm so upset, I'm blanking.
273
00:13:38,753 --> 00:13:40,188
Is... is the stomach
an organ?
274
00:13:40,222 --> 00:13:42,659
- I-I think so.
- Right, of course, of course it is.
275
00:13:42,693 --> 00:13:47,130
I'm... I'm horrified.
276
00:13:47,164 --> 00:13:49,132
I feel the same way,
Mr. Christopher.
277
00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:51,801
Good boy, good boy.
278
00:13:51,835 --> 00:13:54,303
You know something?
They've been neutering me
279
00:13:54,338 --> 00:13:57,106
for months around here and I'm
not going to take it anymore.
280
00:13:57,141 --> 00:13:58,808
I'm gonna fight back.
281
00:13:58,842 --> 00:14:01,811
Do I, uh...
do I look okay?
282
00:14:01,846 --> 00:14:03,713
Trim and elegant.
283
00:14:03,747 --> 00:14:05,782
Thank you, Walter.
Thank you.
284
00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:23,463
Hello.
I'm Jonathan Ames.
285
00:14:23,498 --> 00:14:25,465
I have an appointment
with Dean Saunders.
286
00:14:25,499 --> 00:14:27,200
You're late.
Have a seat.
287
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,069
- Hello, Jonathan.
- Oh no.
288
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,304
You saw my winning story
in "The New Yorker"?
289
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:36,073
Oh, you're limping.
That makes me happy.
290
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:38,566
I'm glad something
makes you happy.
291
00:14:38,577 --> 00:14:41,812
You're not interviewing for the
creative writing job, are you?
292
00:14:41,846 --> 00:14:43,557
Of course I am.
Dean Saunders is a friend.
293
00:14:43,596 --> 00:14:46,782
It seems impossible to fathom,
but is that why you're here?
294
00:14:46,817 --> 00:14:48,417
Yes, Louis, I'm also applying.
295
00:14:48,451 --> 00:14:51,586
Your proclivity for self-destruction
is morbidly fascinating,
296
00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:54,631
but why do you set yourself up
for failure time and time again?
297
00:14:54,656 --> 00:14:56,290
Shut up, Louis.
Don't talk to me
298
00:14:56,324 --> 00:14:58,659
ooh, such anger!
You know, for people like yourself,
299
00:14:58,693 --> 00:15:01,508
there have been amazing
advancements in brain surgery.
300
00:15:01,547 --> 00:15:04,297
A lobotomy is not the mark
of shame it once was.
301
00:15:04,331 --> 00:15:05,698
Snip snip.
302
00:15:09,936 --> 00:15:12,337
- How dare you? Pick it up.
- No, you pick it up.
303
00:15:12,371 --> 00:15:14,372
I will not pick up, for you
will be picking it up.
304
00:15:14,406 --> 00:15:15,707
- No I won't.
- Yes you will.
305
00:15:15,741 --> 00:15:17,408
- No I won't. No I won't.
- Yes you will.
306
00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:19,409
Ow!
307
00:15:26,683 --> 00:15:29,384
Ew! Your breath smells
like cat food again.
308
00:15:29,419 --> 00:15:32,086
It's pate,
you stoner philistine.
309
00:15:34,356 --> 00:15:36,323
We'll be in touch.
310
00:15:36,358 --> 00:15:38,725
Gentlemen.
311
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:41,194
- Dean Saunders.
- De Saunders.
312
00:15:41,228 --> 00:15:43,763
Louis Greene is next, Dean.
He was on time.
313
00:15:45,933 --> 00:15:47,734
- Come in, Louis.
- Sure. Good to see you.
314
00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:49,936
Thank you.
Snip snip.
315
00:15:49,970 --> 00:15:51,478
, this is wonderful.
316
00:15:57,044 --> 00:15:59,646
Katherine,
317
00:15:59,681 --> 00:16:02,483
I've reached my limit.
This is too much.
318
00:16:02,536 --> 00:16:04,818
It's the final harpoon!
319
00:16:04,853 --> 00:16:07,388
- What? Harpoon? - Never mind.
It doesn't matter.
320
00:16:07,422 --> 00:16:09,423
Look, I just want you
to get on the phone,
321
00:16:09,457 --> 00:16:11,091
call your bosses in Dallas,
322
00:16:11,126 --> 00:16:14,562
and tell them to retract
this garbage immediately!
323
00:16:14,596 --> 00:16:15,830
I can't do that, George.
324
00:16:15,864 --> 00:16:18,534
This... this cover is
important to them.
325
00:16:18,572 --> 00:16:20,200
They won't bend.
I know it.
326
00:16:20,235 --> 00:16:23,070
They want the magazine
to be more on the right.
327
00:16:23,104 --> 00:16:25,839
The right? But the right
doesn't know what to do!
328
00:16:25,874 --> 00:16:29,209
Nobody in American politics
knows what to do.
329
00:16:29,244 --> 00:16:33,047
Well, that's a very pessimistic
viewpoint, George.
330
00:16:33,081 --> 00:16:35,216
No, it's an intelligent
viewpoint:
331
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,684
'Re all idiots.
332
00:16:36,719 --> 00:16:40,456
Now let's just stick with
the opera issue as planned
333
00:16:40,498 --> 00:16:43,693
and just drop this
political bullshit, please.
334
00:16:43,728 --> 00:16:46,029
The cover is staying, George.
335
00:16:46,064 --> 00:16:48,332
Fine.
I will call Dallas myself.
336
00:16:48,366 --> 00:16:52,204
Fine. You can if you want
to, but they'll ignore you.
337
00:16:58,112 --> 00:17:00,313
Wow. Um...
338
00:17:00,348 --> 00:17:02,749
Then I quit.
339
00:17:04,053 --> 00:17:06,054
The magazine doesn't
need me anymore
340
00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:08,691
and frankly I don't need it.
341
00:17:08,725 --> 00:17:13,363
It's a love affair
that's come to an end.
342
00:17:16,401 --> 00:17:19,036
And I'm going to drink
as much booze
343
00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,871
and as as much pot as I want.
344
00:17:20,905 --> 00:17:23,172
Thank you very much!
345
00:17:24,510 --> 00:17:26,109
- George...
- No, Katherine.
346
00:17:26,143 --> 00:17:28,077
There's no changing my mind.
347
00:17:28,111 --> 00:17:32,014
- I am sorry.
- No no no, I don't want you to.
348
00:17:32,048 --> 00:17:34,050
I think you're doing
the right thing.
349
00:17:34,084 --> 00:17:37,420
You're not happy he
and I don't blame you.
350
00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:38,788
Right.
351
00:17:38,822 --> 00:17:40,956
So if you'd like,
352
00:17:40,991 --> 00:17:43,628
maybe we could have
dinner sometime.
353
00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:45,360
Now that you're not working her
354
00:17:45,394 --> 00:17:50,164
I'd love to get to know you
outside of the office.
355
00:18:11,181 --> 00:18:14,717
Louis: There, that's his
illegal ad on craigslist
356
00:18:14,751 --> 00:18:17,184
offering his services
as a private detective.
357
00:18:17,218 --> 00:18:20,285
You know, it wouldn't surprise me if
he was also on there as a prostitute.
358
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:22,386
Saunders:
This is very unusual, Louis.
359
00:18:22,421 --> 00:18:24,086
It's just the tip
of the iceberg.
360
00:18:24,121 --> 00:18:26,454
I once saw him inhale
an entire bag of cocaine.
361
00:18:26,488 --> 00:18:28,187
- Really?
- That's not true.
362
00:18:28,221 --> 00:18:31,221
Also, if you look at him closely
his forehead is very narrow.
363
00:18:31,255 --> 00:18:34,756
Phrenology... skull assessment...
has long been a hobby of mine.
364
00:18:38,891 --> 00:18:41,924
In fact, Dean, your skull has perfect symmetry.
Did you know that?
365
00:18:41,958 --> 00:18:44,497
- What are you doing here?
- You shouldn't listen to Greene!
366
00:18:44,535 --> 00:18:46,659
- He hates me! - This is what I'm
talking about. He's unstable.
367
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,530
- I'm not unstable. - Obviously there
was some kind of birth trauma.
368
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:50,896
Oh, and his novel was
full of typos.
369
00:18:50,930 --> 00:18:52,797
I'm going to kill you, Louis!
370
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,801
- Stay away from me, you subnormal.
- Security.
371
00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,704
- Stop! - Don't point
your pointy head at me.
372
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:01,771
My head is normal, u jerk.
373
00:19:01,806 --> 00:19:04,006
Look at yourself!
You're a carnival freak.
374
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,308
Stay away.
375
00:19:08,344 --> 00:19:11,946
Well, I didn't get the job but it was
one of the best interviews I ever had.
376
00:19:11,980 --> 00:19:14,014
One of the security guards
slapped Greene
377
00:19:14,048 --> 00:19:16,149
and I felt joy.
378
00:19:16,183 --> 00:19:17,717
I'm happy for you.
379
00:19:17,751 --> 00:19:22,755
Besides, as a writer and
detective, I'm my own boss.
380
00:19:22,789 --> 00:19:25,924
No one can we're both our own bosses now.
O, you know, without "edition,"
381
00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:28,293
I can do anything I want.
Can open a restaurant.
382
00:19:28,327 --> 00:19:30,795
I can start
an Internet magazine.
383
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:34,432
I mean, hell, I could finally go
to Tangiers and smoke hashish.
384
00:19:34,466 --> 00:19:36,233
You can come too if you like.
385
00:19:36,267 --> 00:19:37,901
I'd love to.
386
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:41,337
Am I overdressed?
387
00:19:50,611 --> 00:19:53,012
George:
I am so proud of our Ray.
388
00:19:53,046 --> 00:19:54,446
Yeah, it's incredible.
389
00:19:54,489 --> 00:19:56,913
I think people are responding
so strongly to the comic
390
00:19:56,948 --> 00:19:58,881
because it's all about
his love for Leah
391
00:19:58,915 --> 00:20:00,715
- and wanting to win her back.
- I agree.
392
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:02,917
It has a beautiful message.
393
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,651
I just want you to know that
your comic really helped me.
394
00:20:05,686 --> 00:20:07,319
So thank you.
395
00:20:07,353 --> 00:20:08,854
You're welcome.
396
00:20:11,156 --> 00:20:13,456
George, you remember
that girl from my class?
397
00:20:13,502 --> 00:20:16,126
- Nina?
- Yes, the cute blonde.
398
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:20,129
Yeah well, we've started dating and
she already wants to live with me.
399
00:20:20,163 --> 00:20:22,197
Have you ever
let someone move in
400
00:20:22,232 --> 00:20:23,832
right after sleeping with them?
401
00:20:23,867 --> 00:20:27,201
Yes, three times.
Always disastrous.
402
00:20:27,236 --> 00:20:30,268
- So I shouldn't do it?
- Oh no, you should definitely do it.
403
00:20:30,303 --> 00:20:33,803
It could be fun until it,
you know, falls apart.
404
00:20:33,837 --> 00:20:37,337
There's always a slight chance it
could work, so you know, why not?
405
00:20:37,371 --> 00:20:39,771
Oh my God, look at her.
406
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,373
Whoa.
What a costume.
407
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:44,274
Yeah, I-I have
to go talk to her.
408
00:20:44,309 --> 00:20:47,276
I've always had this thing
for wonder woman.
409
00:20:47,311 --> 00:20:50,612
But I thought you were
into vampires and armpits.
410
00:20:53,548 --> 00:20:58,050
Did you rely put your cock on the
third rail to get your super powers?
411
00:20:58,085 --> 00:20:59,885
Of course I did.
412
00:20:59,919 --> 00:21:01,352
Should I try it?
413
00:21:01,387 --> 00:21:04,555
Yes, but, uh,
wait until you're 21.
414
00:21:04,589 --> 00:21:05,756
All right.
Thank you.
415
00:21:15,865 --> 00:21:18,666
Oh no!
An x-acto knife.
416
00:21:22,004 --> 00:21:24,273
- Excuse me, excuse me.
- Hey, watch it!
417
00:21:24,308 --> 00:21:26,375
Hey!
418
00:21:47,931 --> 00:21:50,834
Ray!
Ray!
419
00:21:50,868 --> 00:21:53,570
Ray!
The x-acto knife!
420
00:21:56,842 --> 00:21:59,211
George! George!
The x-acto knife!
421
00:21:59,245 --> 00:22:01,046
Stop talking
to wonder woman!
422
00:22:02,381 --> 00:22:05,951
Ray, I'm coming!
Excuse me. I'm coming, Ray!
423
00:22:08,754 --> 00:22:11,522
It's an x-acto knife!
It's an x-acto knife!
424
00:22:11,557 --> 00:22:13,057
Ow!
425
00:22:14,660 --> 00:22:15,928
Shit!
426
00:22:17,732 --> 00:22:20,169
Woman:
Nice job, man!
427
00:22:20,203 --> 00:22:22,105
- Good job.
- Thank you.
428
00:22:22,140 --> 00:22:24,776
I'll apply pressure
with my handkerchief!
429
00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,548
Irwin?
Why did you do that?
430
00:22:27,582 --> 00:22:29,651
Because of you,
I spent two months at Rikers
431
00:22:29,685 --> 00:22:32,222
and I lost my
rent-controlled apartment!
432
00:22:34,560 --> 00:22:36,595
- How bad is that wound?
- Well, it's a...
433
00:22:36,629 --> 00:22:38,999
oh, Ray, that's a lot of blood.
434
00:22:39,033 --> 00:22:40,569
Oh, boy.
435
00:22:40,603 --> 00:22:42,540
Call an ambulance!
436
00:22:44,710 --> 00:22:47,411
I was going to tell you guys,
but it was too embarrassing.
437
00:22:47,445 --> 00:22:49,780
I found Irwin
438
00:22:49,814 --> 00:22:51,748
in bed with Leah.
439
00:22:51,783 --> 00:22:53,317
I chased him out of the house,
440
00:22:53,351 --> 00:22:55,185
but I don't know
how he ended up at Rikers.
441
00:22:55,219 --> 00:22:56,753
Well, the guy
must have cracked;
442
00:22:56,787 --> 00:22:59,355
rent-controlled apartments
are hard to come by.
443
00:22:59,390 --> 00:23:01,484
I had a beautiful one
in the West Village
444
00:23:01,498 --> 00:23:05,162
on Jane Street for years...
it was like $300 a month.
445
00:23:05,196 --> 00:23:08,065
Nobody gives a shit about your
rent-controlled apartment right now, George.
446
00:23:08,099 --> 00:23:09,599
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
447
00:23:09,634 --> 00:23:12,135
Jonathan.
448
00:23:13,505 --> 00:23:15,072
I want to thank you.
449
00:23:15,106 --> 00:23:17,674
If that guy had sta't me
again, I wouldn't be here.
450
00:23:20,111 --> 00:23:22,112
God! Oh my God!
Ray!
451
00:23:22,146 --> 00:23:23,880
Are you all right?
452
00:23:25,149 --> 00:23:26,750
I'm okay.
453
00:23:26,784 --> 00:23:30,253
I'm okay. I've lost a lot of blood.
I got two stitches, but it's nothing.
454
00:23:30,288 --> 00:23:31,888
No no, it was a lot of blood.
455
00:23:31,922 --> 00:23:33,523
God!
This is all my fault!
456
00:23:33,557 --> 00:23:36,865
Irwin was arrested that night in
park slope for indecent exposure.
457
00:23:37,294 --> 00:23:39,629
I never should have
slept with him.
458
00:23:39,663 --> 00:23:41,398
I'm so, Ray.
459
00:23:41,432 --> 00:23:43,266
It's okay.
460
00:23:43,301 --> 00:23:45,001
E I could forgive you anything, Leah.
461
00:23:45,035 --> 00:23:48,204
- Ow! Ow ow ow.
- Sorry sorry!
462
00:24:01,553 --> 00:24:03,721
I love you, Ray.
463
00:24:03,755 --> 00:24:05,389
I love you.
464
00:24:12,797 --> 00:24:15,665
( Bed humming )
465
00:24:18,067 --> 00:24:21,035
George, do you really want
to go to Tangiers together?
466
00:24:21,069 --> 00:24:22,937
Yes, I'd like to.
467
00:24:22,971 --> 00:24:25,972
Or we could go to Azil,
go up the Amazon.
468
00:24:26,007 --> 00:24:29,110
They have plants you can eat
there, that give you visions.
469
00:24:29,145 --> 00:24:32,715
- I'd like a vision.
- Yeah, me too.
470
00:24:32,749 --> 00:24:34,751
I'd like a really good vision.
471
00:24:34,785 --> 00:24:36,620
But what do you
wanna do tonight?
472
00:24:36,655 --> 00:24:41,025
Well, let's get stoned
473
00:24:41,060 --> 00:24:43,027
and get something
to eat in Brooklyn.
474
00:24:43,061 --> 00:24:46,097
It's not the Amazon,
but we can make it lively.
475
00:24:46,297 --> 00:24:56,497
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
476
00:24:57,642 --> 00:25:00,444
♪ when it's
time-to-time time? ♪
477
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,983
♪ and if you need
to tell me something once ♪
478
00:25:07,418 --> 00:25:10,621
♪ you won't have
to say it twice ♪
479
00:25:10,655 --> 00:25:12,989
♪ and if you ask
for a nickel ♪
480
00:25:13,024 --> 00:25:16,059
♪ I'm gonna hand you
a dime ♪
481
00:25:20,464 --> 00:25:22,699
♪ and we'll forget about
our problems ♪
482
00:25:22,733 --> 00:25:26,236
♪ ignore 'em
for a little while ♪
483
00:25:28,306 --> 00:25:30,540
♪ and leave our worries
in the corner ♪
484
00:25:30,574 --> 00:25:33,943
♪ leave 'em
in a big big pile ♪
485
00:25:36,346 --> 00:25:41,350
♪ pretend everything
can be all right ♪
486
00:25:44,088 --> 00:25:48,958
♪ pretend everything
can be all right. ♪