1
00:00:02,402 --> 00:00:04,267
Hey, I got a little surprise for you.

2
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:05,995
Whatever it is, I approve.

3
00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:09,039
You have more than earned my trust
and respect in the bedroom.

4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,705
[GlGGLES]

5
00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:15,177
Aww. Molly, thank you. Hang on.

6
00:00:15,448 --> 00:00:17,712
Was there some anniversary
or special occasion...

7
00:00:17,884 --> 00:00:19,943
-...I was supposed to remember?
-No occasion.

8
00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,850
It's just a little something I saw
that screamed "Mike."

9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:27,221
What a coincidence. I saw something
last night that screamed "Mike."

10
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:31,754
-Three times.
-Just open it.

11
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:35,460
Oh, boy, cowboy boots!

12
00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:39,965
-How did you know?
-Well, you told me that story...

13
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:41,471
...about the boots you had...

14
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,974
...and how you stopped wearing them
when the other boys made fun of you.

15
00:00:45,145 --> 00:00:49,605
Yeah, you get called Belly the Kid enough,
it sours you on Western footwear.

16
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:52,852
-I can't believe you remembered that.
-Of course I remembered.

17
00:00:53,019 --> 00:00:55,249
Just like you remember
the stories I tell you.

18
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,715
Right.

19
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,991
-Don't worry, I'm not gonna quiz you.
-Thank you.

20
00:01:01,161 --> 00:01:02,423
[LAUGHS]

21
00:01:02,595 --> 00:01:05,120
They should fit.
I took your shoes to the boot store...

22
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:07,163
...to make sure I got the right size.

23
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:11,599
Smart. That way you didn't have
to pour plaster into one of my footprints.

24
00:01:12,705 --> 00:01:16,368
Oh, my God, these are amazing.

25
00:01:18,111 --> 00:01:19,601
Is that real rattlesnake?

26
00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:21,940
Hundred percent.

27
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:23,582
[LAUGHS]

28
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,911
Can you imagine
how many snakes had to die?

29
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:30,420
Hey, screw them. Better on my feet
than biting people and swallowing eggs.

30
00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:34,191
Well, you look very handsome in them,
cowboy.

31
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,761
Yeah. They do kind of work on me,
don't they?

32
00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,589
[MOLLY CHUCKLES]

33
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,496
-I don't know how to thank you.
-I got a couple ideas...

34
00:01:42,669 --> 00:01:44,534
...if you're interested, partner.

35
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,868
Yeah, I'd be mighty happy to oblige, ma'am.
Just let me pull my boots off.

36
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:51,135
No, no. Leave the boots on.

37
00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:53,871
But take off everything else.

38
00:02:27,046 --> 00:02:29,514
You know cowboy boots
aren't regulation police wear.

39
00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:33,641
Neither is the leopard-print thong
you're wearing underneath your uniform.

40
00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:38,117
First of all, it's not a thong,
it's a jockstrap.

41
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:41,385
And it's not leopard print,
it's camouflage.

42
00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:46,255
It must come in handy when you need
to hide your junk in someone's salad.

43
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,732
What do you want?

44
00:02:51,070 --> 00:02:53,095
Is that how you greet paying customers?

45
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,740
Oh, so you're paying now?

46
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:59,641
-Figure of speech.
-What's the matter with you this morning?

47
00:03:00,046 --> 00:03:02,241
Two busboys and a waiter called in sick.

48
00:03:02,415 --> 00:03:05,441
I had to walk in the freezing rain
because my bicycle was stolen.

49
00:03:05,785 --> 00:03:07,912
You want us to file a report?
We might find it.

50
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:12,581
If you're going to play detective,
I'd prefer you find my car.

51
00:03:14,594 --> 00:03:18,462
Which was stolen a year ago and the reason
I'm riding a bicycle in the first place.

52
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:20,957
We'll have two breakfast specials.

53
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:24,069
You'll have whatever I bring you
and you'll like it.

54
00:03:26,606 --> 00:03:27,834
Yes, we will.

55
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:33,237
So why did Molly
buy you those boots anyway?

56
00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:36,007
-You have an anniversary?
-No, that's the beauty of it.

57
00:03:36,182 --> 00:03:38,776
She bought them
just because she was thinking about me.

58
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:43,013
Like that puka-shell necklace I got you
in Fort Lauderdale that you never wear.

59
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,817
Sorry, I'm not a puka shell kind of guy.

60
00:03:45,992 --> 00:03:48,517
-Who doesn't like puka shells?
-Everybody.

61
00:03:48,695 --> 00:03:50,993
Except you, Aquaman and Don Ho.

62
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:56,499
My point is, I've never gotten this
kind of attention from a woman before.

63
00:03:56,669 --> 00:04:00,332
It makes me feel kind of--
I don't know, sexy.

64
00:04:00,506 --> 00:04:02,406
[CARL CHUCKLES]

65
00:04:02,575 --> 00:04:05,567
Yeah, now you know how I feel
about my camo jock.

66
00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:08,580
It's like having a Rambo in my pants.

67
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:13,382
-Oatmeal or pudding?
-I'll have the oatmeal.

68
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:17,316
[UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG OVER TV]

69
00:04:17,490 --> 00:04:21,256
Don't go in there.
That tunnel is just painted on.

70
00:04:21,427 --> 00:04:23,258
[CRASH OVER TV]

71
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:24,589
ROAD RUNNER:
Beep-beep!

72
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,528
Why don't you ever listen to me?

73
00:04:29,535 --> 00:04:31,765
You shouldn't get so involved
in that show.

74
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:36,534
Yeah, I'm starting to think that dog
is never gonna catch that chicken.

75
00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:42,478
Where are you going?

76
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:45,311
Mike's picking me up
and we're gonna go to an OA meeting.

77
00:04:45,485 --> 00:04:47,214
How did he like the cowboy boots?

78
00:04:47,387 --> 00:04:48,411
[CHUCKLES]

79
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,580
It was so cute. I mean,
his whole face lit up like a little boy's.

80
00:04:51,758 --> 00:04:54,192
So you guys are getting
pretty serious, huh?

81
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:57,254
I think so. I mean, I don't wanna jinx it...

82
00:04:57,563 --> 00:05:01,397
...but I think we're headed
towards a really good place.

83
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:04,033
I love this stage in a relationship.

84
00:05:04,203 --> 00:05:09,641
You're getting comfortable with each other
and nobody's gotten a restraining order...

85
00:05:10,543 --> 00:05:13,535
...or asked you to have a three-way
with their cleaning lady.

86
00:05:15,181 --> 00:05:16,648
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

87
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:19,410
Yeah, it's a magical time.

88
00:05:24,891 --> 00:05:26,791
Hey, Moonface, how are you?

89
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:31,925
-What are you doing here, Vince?
-I'm taking your mom out for a nice dinner...

90
00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,760
...and for one of those carriage rides
along the lake.

91
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:39,268
It's kind of romantic if you don't mind
the smell of hot, steaming horse crap.

92
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:42,471
Wait a second. You're dating my mother?

93
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,805
Hey, old soup's still good
if you heat it up.

94
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,473
Mom!

95
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:54,718
Well, come on in, I guess,
but stay close to the door.

96
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:57,788
No problem. Hey, there she is.

97
00:05:57,957 --> 00:06:00,926
The reason God created
tube tops and hands.

98
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:04,118
You wanna go wait on the porch?

99
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:11,261
Hey, Vin. Boy, you're looking
very handsome this evening.

100
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:15,168
Thanks. I had some fat sucked out
of my neck wattle.

101
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,843
Well, it's nice.

102
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:21,639
It really separates your shoulders
from your head.

103
00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:24,807
We should probably shake a tail feather.

104
00:06:24,984 --> 00:06:27,316
The buffet already started,
and after an hour...

105
00:06:27,487 --> 00:06:30,320
...the calamari starts looking
like deep-fried anuses.

106
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,479
[CHUCKLES]

107
00:06:34,660 --> 00:06:38,255
I know he's not your father,
but he treats me like a queen...

108
00:06:38,431 --> 00:06:41,195
...and you can crack walnuts
on his johnson.

109
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,341
-Let's never eat walnuts around him.
-Deal.

110
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:56,177
I gotta tell you, folks,
things have been going pretty well for me.

111
00:06:56,482 --> 00:06:59,144
My job, my personal life.

112
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:06,654
And as a result, my attitude's better.

113
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:14,131
I'm losing weight without thinking about it.
Get this, last Tuesday, I forgot to eat lunch.

114
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,393
Crazy, right? That never happens.

115
00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:19,333
I've forgotten I've eaten lunch
on a number of occasions...

116
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:23,502
...so I had to eat again, just in case.

117
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:24,802
But this is monumental.

118
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:27,707
I've forgotten to take the gas nozzle
out of my car...

119
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,180
...I have forgotten my gun was loaded,
but I have never forgotten lunch.

120
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:37,051
Anyway, long story short,
you're looking at a happy, confident...

121
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:39,714
...slightly smaller man
than you saw one week ago.

122
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,459
Win the battle here, win the battle here.

123
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,528
No glory, no guts.

124
00:07:46,399 --> 00:07:49,163
Happy trails, mi amigos.

125
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,127
You were cute up there tonight.

126
00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:55,536
You're saying that
because you're sweet on me.

127
00:07:55,708 --> 00:07:59,337
Both can be true. Hey, wanna go upstairs
and make out in the confessional?

128
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:03,471
Absolutely. It's been almost a week
since my last confession.

129
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:06,375
[lN SOUTHERN ACCENT]
Hi.

130
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,281
-Hello.
-I just wanted to say...

131
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:10,046
...that I really loved your share.

132
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:11,247
Oh, thank you.

133
00:08:11,824 --> 00:08:13,348
-I'm Jill.
-Mike.

134
00:08:13,526 --> 00:08:14,584
I know. Heh.

135
00:08:15,294 --> 00:08:17,990
I love your boots.
I just moved here from Texas...

136
00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:20,223
...so I'm kind of a sucker
for a man in cowboy boots.

137
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:22,060
[JlLL & MlKE CHUCKLlNG]

138
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:23,793
[MOLLY CLEARS THROAT]

139
00:08:25,204 --> 00:08:27,934
This is Molly. She's a friend of mine.

140
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:35,211
Hi, I'm Molly. Mike's friend.

141
00:08:35,381 --> 00:08:37,315
-Nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

142
00:08:39,652 --> 00:08:43,611
Listen, I don't have a sponsor yet,
and I'd love for it to be you.

143
00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:47,291
Really? Wow, nobody's ever asked me
to be their sponsor before.

144
00:08:49,695 --> 00:08:52,425
-Let me give you my number.
-Great.

145
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,030
I don't have a pen.

146
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,226
Seriously?

147
00:09:00,940 --> 00:09:02,908
Sure, what are friends for?

148
00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:07,809
Gonna tell me what's wrong
or do I have to guess?

149
00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:11,643
I bet if you thought really hard about it,
you could figure it out, friend.

150
00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:15,413
That's what you're mad about?
Because I introduced you as my friend?

151
00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:19,024
-That's what I'm so mad about.
-What are you saying? We're not friends?

152
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:21,716
This is just sex for you?
It's more than that for me.

153
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:25,057
Oh, no, don't you dare turn this around.

154
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,698
You know exactly what you did.

155
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:29,357
She asked me to be her sponsor.
Just because she's pretty...

156
00:09:29,535 --> 00:09:32,698
...I'm not supposed to help her?
Not that I think she's pretty.

157
00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:34,472
You flirted, plain and simple.

158
00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,972
-Why don't you admit it?
-I did not flirt with her.

159
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,304
She may have been flirting.
Can't control that.

160
00:09:39,478 --> 00:09:41,378
In a way, isn't that a compliment to you?

161
00:09:41,547 --> 00:09:42,639
Do you want me to leave?

162
00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:43,839
-Yes.
-No.

163
00:09:44,483 --> 00:09:48,351
Okay, I'll stay, but I'll cover my eyes.

164
00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:55,622
-Should we go upstairs and talk?
-I don't think there's anything to talk about.

165
00:09:55,795 --> 00:09:57,194
So, what, should I just leave?

166
00:09:57,363 --> 00:10:00,628
Well, I'm sure you could go find
some of your friends to hang out with.

167
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,028
[CLlCKS TONGUE]

168
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,435
Right.

169
00:10:08,074 --> 00:10:11,840
-Those boots really do look cute on him.
-I know they do!

170
00:10:18,517 --> 00:10:19,677
Oh, heh.

171
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:23,288
Oh, baby, you are nasty.

172
00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,753
Do what? Okay, hang on.

173
00:10:26,926 --> 00:10:29,451
All right, I'm on my hands and knees.

174
00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:32,822
What? Bark like a dog?

175
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,859
Is this the Busty Asians Chatline?

176
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:38,700
Oh, damn, I dialed wrong.

177
00:10:39,071 --> 00:10:40,629
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

178
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,103
Sick people out there.

179
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:47,946
Call before you come by.

180
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,639
I've been trying to call
for the last 45 minutes.

181
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:55,617
No, really? What's 2.99 times 45?

182
00:10:56,789 --> 00:10:58,984
-What? Why?
-Never mind. Come on in.

183
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:03,595
-Thought you were going out with Molly.
-I did. We got in a fight.

184
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,128
About what?

185
00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:07,925
Some girl at an OA meeting
came up and flirted with me.

186
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,624
Molly got all bent out of shape.

187
00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:12,794
Wait, you had another woman hit on you
at an OA meeting?

188
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:16,237
I need to pack on 80 pounds
and get my fat ass to a church basement.

189
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,603
What was the other girl like?
Was she cute?

190
00:11:21,781 --> 00:11:24,079
Yeah, if you like dirty blonds from Texas.

191
00:11:24,250 --> 00:11:26,684
I like dirty anything from anywhere.

192
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:31,217
What am I supposed to do?
I mean, she approached me.

193
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:34,587
I hear you, man. It's not like
you took her phone number or anything.

194
00:11:40,166 --> 00:11:41,963
She used Molly's pen to write it down.

195
00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:43,158
Ugh.

196
00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:47,362
-Man, what is wrong with you?
-I don't know.

197
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:48,905
-Now, let me ask you.
-Yeah?

198
00:11:49,075 --> 00:11:52,272
How big is this dirty girl?
Are we talking Texas toast or just Texas?

199
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:56,145
Molly, why don't you just call him?

200
00:11:56,315 --> 00:11:58,943
No, he needs to call me and apologize.

201
00:11:59,118 --> 00:12:01,279
What is the big deal? All guys flirt.

202
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:05,117
If they didn't, we'd have to buy drinks
and pay for our own speeding tickets.

203
00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,785
And dry cleaning and tires...

204
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,657
...and this dinette set.

205
00:12:13,332 --> 00:12:14,629
It's not just the flirting.

206
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,736
It's that he couldn't acknowledge
that I was his girlfriend in public.

207
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,839
Oh, Mol, that happens to me all the time.

208
00:12:22,007 --> 00:12:25,636
Of course, the guy is usually married
or a high-ranking public official.

209
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:27,472
I've been in two motorcades.

210
00:12:27,646 --> 00:12:30,638
Once in the trunk
and once under the dashboard.

211
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:36,184
I just thought Mike was different.
I mean, he was so shy when I met him.

212
00:12:36,355 --> 00:12:39,222
And now, he's strutting around,
impressing slutty blonds...

213
00:12:39,391 --> 00:12:42,656
...with his heroic stories
of skipping lunch.

214
00:12:44,697 --> 00:12:46,722
You really should cut the guy some slack.

215
00:12:46,899 --> 00:12:49,527
I know he cares about you.

216
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:52,535
He cares because I have sex with him,
and every 25th time...

217
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:55,333
...he gets a free pair of boots.

218
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:03,278
Don't we have anything
stronger than this?

219
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:05,781
There's a bottle of vodka in the freezer.

220
00:13:06,085 --> 00:13:09,577
Or there's a spliff of purple kush
in my hand.

221
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:14,788
Guess it was stupid of me
to introduce her as my friend.

222
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,861
Man, you were looking up at stupid
with a telescope.

223
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:20,590
-But your instincts were correct.
-How so?

224
00:13:20,766 --> 00:13:23,394
It's not in a man's nature
to settle down with one woman.

225
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:28,063
We're to propagate with multiple partners
like they do in the animal kingdom.

226
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,465
What about swans?
I heard they mate for life.

227
00:13:32,444 --> 00:13:34,412
Who can confirm that?

228
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,481
I mean, is there some guy
following them around all day long?

229
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,243
I'm sure he'd see that swan...

230
00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:43,081
...playing a little duck, duck, goose
every now and then.

231
00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,789
Hey, Michael. How are you, baby?

232
00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,224
I'm all right, Nana.
How was choir practice?

233
00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:53,797
Well, the new music director
is young and full of beans.

234
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:57,834
I had to pull him aside and tell him,
"Brother, the Lord don't need it fancy...

235
00:13:58,003 --> 00:13:59,971
...he just needs it loud."

236
00:14:01,073 --> 00:14:03,803
So, what are you doing here
on a Friday night?

237
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:06,069
Don't you have a girlfriend?

238
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:07,769
I'm not sure at the moment.

239
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:10,608
Oh. What'd you do?

240
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,845
Why do you assume it was me?

241
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,476
I'm an old woman, Michael.
Don't waste my time.

242
00:14:17,723 --> 00:14:21,022
Another girl flirted with me.
Now, how is that my fault?

243
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,889
It's not. You were just behaving
like a natural man.

244
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:28,227
I see. And does a natural man
tuck his business between his legs...

245
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,335
...and dance in front of
the bathroom mirror?

246
00:14:38,644 --> 00:14:40,635
Grandma, I was 13 years old.

247
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,212
Worst thing I ever saw.

248
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:45,145
Wanted to take a stick and blind myself.

249
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,382
Now, Michael, did you flirt back?

250
00:14:50,556 --> 00:14:53,548
Not intentionally,
but I was kind of in the zone.

251
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,251
Every time I opened my mouth,
something charming fell out.

252
00:14:56,428 --> 00:15:00,159
Hmp. You don't seem to
have that problem now.

253
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,896
Tell me, are you interested
in this other woman?

254
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:07,038
No, of course not, Nana.
I don't want other women.

255
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:10,437
Molly's it for me.
She's my girlfriend and I love her.

256
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:14,678
What did you say?

257
00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:18,741
I love her.

258
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:20,513
I'm done looking.

259
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:22,477
Molly's my swan.

260
00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:25,249
I don't wanna play duck, duck, goose
with anybody but her.

261
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,885
-Duck, duck what?
-I don't know. Ask Friar Tuck.

262
00:15:31,163 --> 00:15:32,858
I gotta go. Thanks, Nana.

263
00:15:33,032 --> 00:15:36,559
-I'm so happy for you, baby.
-Me too.

264
00:15:37,636 --> 00:15:41,436
Carlton, I hope one day
you meet the right girl, fall in love...

265
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:44,201
...and find the kind of happiness
your friend has found.

266
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,344
-Thanks.
-But until then...

267
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:51,245
...I guess you're just gonna have to make
do with the love of your old grandma.

268
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:52,975
[CHUCKLES]

269
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,414
Well, I could do a lot worse.

270
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:56,713
Mm-hm. And you have.

271
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,684
[BOTH LAUGHlNG]

272
00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:09,126
So I guess it is kind of funny.

273
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:13,738
I put makeup on dead people for a living.

274
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,931
How do you do it? I mean, it's weird, right?
It's gotta be weird.

275
00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:19,873
It was at first.

276
00:16:20,045 --> 00:16:22,013
But then I realized...

277
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:26,208
...dead people are just like us...

278
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,580
...except they're dead.

279
00:16:31,423 --> 00:16:34,654
I couldn't do it. I'd be too afraid
that their eyes would pop open...

280
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,057
...and they'd try to eat my flesh.

281
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,961
Doesn't happen as often as you think.

282
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:49,507
Mainly, I just get complaints
from family members.

283
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:53,702
I can't tell you how many times
I've heard someone say:

284
00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:56,746
"Hey, you made Grandma
look like a whore."

285
00:16:58,317 --> 00:16:59,443
[TlMER DlNGS]

286
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,552
-Cookies.
-Cookies.

287
00:17:02,554 --> 00:17:04,818
I ever tell you about the time
I went to Mike's...

288
00:17:04,990 --> 00:17:08,517
...and baked him that sugarless,
nonfat, nondairy cookies?

289
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:10,093
Oh, that sounds awful.

290
00:17:10,262 --> 00:17:13,254
They were.
They tasted like hot dust bunnies.

291
00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:15,032
-You know what he said?
-What?

292
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,101
He said, "Wow, these cookies really suck."

293
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:22,366
And then he ate four more.
God, I love that man.

294
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:23,565
[GASPS]

295
00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:25,937
-Did you just hear what you said?
-What did I say?

296
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,874
-You said you loved him.
-When did I say that?

297
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:29,605
-Just now.
-Really?

298
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:31,613
Really.

299
00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,849
Son of a gun.

300
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:41,323
Hot, hot, hot!

301
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:42,517
[SCREAMlNG]

302
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:45,094
Open! Open!

303
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,588
[CONTlNUES SCREAMlNG]

304
00:17:52,938 --> 00:17:54,064
What's going on?

305
00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,333
Whatever it is, don't stop them.

306
00:17:58,310 --> 00:17:59,743
Molly's in love.

307
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,404
Oh, sweetie, is that true?

308
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:05,345
-Uh-huh.
-Oh.

309
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:08,816
I'm so happy for you.

310
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:11,387
Good times, ladies.

311
00:18:11,557 --> 00:18:14,219
Good, good times.

312
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,924
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

313
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,859
Oh. I'll get it.

314
00:18:19,631 --> 00:18:24,261
No reason the three of us
can't prolong this precious moment.

315
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:30,200
-What are you doing here?
-I had to tell you something.

316
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:32,104
-What?
-First of all...

317
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:34,472
...I'm sorry I flirted with that other girl.

318
00:18:34,646 --> 00:18:38,582
I didn't initiate it, but I also didn't stop it,
and that was wrong.

319
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,281
Well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have
made such a big deal about it.

320
00:18:42,454 --> 00:18:43,478
You had every right.

321
00:18:43,655 --> 00:18:46,886
You're my girlfriend,
and that's how I should've introduced you.

322
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:51,290
-Okay, so I'm still your girlfriend?
-Of course you are.

323
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,828
And I love...

324
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,501
...my new boots.

325
00:18:57,936 --> 00:19:00,700
Seriously, I don't know
what I'd do without them.

326
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,867
-Well, I'm glad you like them.
-No, you didn't hear me.

327
00:19:06,044 --> 00:19:07,602
I love them.

328
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,408
I love them too.

329
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,553
Taste like Toll House cookies
and marijuana.

330
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:22,453
You shouldn't leave me alone
on a Friday night.

331
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,755
It'll never happen again.

332
00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:34,602
So that's the make-up sex
I've been hearing about.

333
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:37,204
Seems like you were madder
than you let on.

334
00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:42,343
Well, I'm not gonna lie. A couple
of those scratches were for real, pal.

335
00:19:42,781 --> 00:19:45,375
Well, maybe I should flirt
with other women more often.

336
00:19:45,884 --> 00:19:48,546
Joke, joke, joke.

337
00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:56,089
We should probably go to sleep
before you piss me off again.

338
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:58,991
That's a very good idea.

339
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:02,595
-Good night, Molly.
-Good night, Mike.

340
00:20:05,571 --> 00:20:08,506
MOLLY: Are you really gonna
sleep in those things?

341
00:20:10,976 --> 00:20:14,241
MlKE: What can I tell you?
They make me happy.

342
00:20:42,641 --> 00:20:44,632
[English - US - SDH]