1
00:00:02,713 --> 00:00:06,686
I went to see Patricia yesterday to ask her
permission to see you.
2
00:00:06,806 --> 00:00:08,996
- What did she say?
- She said it's fine.
3
00:00:10,297 --> 00:00:11,867
You're gonna call her?
4
00:00:13,899 --> 00:00:17,151
Patricia just can't stop
talking about the BRCA1.
5
00:00:17,271 --> 00:00:19,694
- Did you take the test?
- Are you worried about me?
6
00:00:19,945 --> 00:00:21,808
I'm still waiting for the results.
7
00:00:21,928 --> 00:00:23,627
This is Isabel. 1970.
8
00:00:23,747 --> 00:00:26,033
I like to remember
my mother just like this.
9
00:00:26,153 --> 00:00:28,440
She still wanted to...
To look her best.
10
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:30,061
I know what you're talking about.
11
00:00:30,181 --> 00:00:33,910
You told me that your mother always
wore her signature red lipstick.
12
00:00:34,030 --> 00:00:35,385
I never told you that.
13
00:00:35,778 --> 00:00:38,872
- Patricia told you that.
- I apologize, if you're upset.
14
00:00:38,992 --> 00:00:40,850
I don't want to be
confused with my sister.
15
00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:44,785
I have no one in my life who is willing
to help me and that obviously includes you.
16
00:00:50,971 --> 00:00:52,134
So...
17
00:00:52,950 --> 00:00:55,785
Swarthmore is due
on Friday. Hey.
18
00:00:55,819 --> 00:01:00,423
And then barnard and vassar
are next Wednesday.
19
00:01:00,457 --> 00:01:02,892
Then it's Sarah Lawrence,
Santa Cruz,
20
00:01:02,926 --> 00:01:05,428
Hampshire, oberlin
and tufts all by the 15th.
21
00:01:05,462 --> 00:01:07,830
- It's insanity.
- I'd skip Santa Cruz...
22
00:01:07,865 --> 00:01:09,799
Too sunny.
23
00:01:09,833 --> 00:01:11,634
You could come visit.
And, you know,
24
00:01:11,669 --> 00:01:13,336
you could get some fresh air.
25
00:01:13,370 --> 00:01:15,304
You could hit
the beach, you know.
26
00:01:15,339 --> 00:01:16,773
You could even go surfing.
27
00:01:16,807 --> 00:01:18,841
Oh yeah, that's me all right.
Yeah, surfing...
28
00:01:18,876 --> 00:01:21,911
That's a good one.
29
00:01:21,945 --> 00:01:25,448
Listen, thanks for... thanks
for driving Max back.
30
00:01:25,482 --> 00:01:27,150
Sure.
31
00:01:27,184 --> 00:01:30,319
So how was he?
How was his mood?
32
00:01:30,354 --> 00:01:32,121
I didn't spend
that much time with him,
33
00:01:32,156 --> 00:01:34,757
but he seemed good.
He said D.C. was awesome.
34
00:01:34,792 --> 00:01:36,959
D.C.?
He went to D.C.?
35
00:01:36,994 --> 00:01:38,761
With Steve, on Saturday.
36
00:01:38,796 --> 00:01:40,897
Didn't he tell you?
37
00:01:42,032 --> 00:01:45,001
Uh, no, he didn't mention that.
38
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:47,870
Yeah, Steve took Max to see this
calder exhibit at the national
39
00:01:47,905 --> 00:01:49,639
that they've been
wanting to see.
40
00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:53,076
Is that weird for you?
41
00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:55,678
No, it's fine.
It's fine.
42
00:01:55,713 --> 00:01:57,914
It doesn't exactly fit
43
00:01:57,948 --> 00:02:00,349
with what Max has been
saying about Steve.
44
00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:02,885
- What's he been saying?
- Nothing much.
45
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:06,823
Just that he finds Steve
more or less repulsive,
46
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:08,991
borderline demonic.
47
00:02:09,026 --> 00:02:11,127
( Chuckles )
48
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:16,399
What do you think
of their relationship?
49
00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:18,735
I don't know.
I mean, you know,
50
00:02:18,769 --> 00:02:20,737
the first brunch
was slightly awkward.
51
00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:22,605
Max told Steve he thought
52
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,608
his house looked like
a giant habitrail.
53
00:02:25,642 --> 00:02:28,644
But then, you know,
things just...
54
00:02:28,679 --> 00:02:31,380
It's okay, Rosie.
55
00:02:31,415 --> 00:02:33,716
I mean, I...
56
00:02:33,751 --> 00:02:35,818
I'd prefer that they
got along together.
57
00:02:35,853 --> 00:02:37,787
Yeah, I think
they just like connect
58
00:02:37,821 --> 00:02:39,589
- on the art thing, you know?
- Mm-hmm.
59
00:02:39,623 --> 00:02:41,624
Like Steve has that
studio in his house.
60
00:02:41,658 --> 00:02:43,726
And he's been teaching
Max drafting, you know.
61
00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:45,795
He has those like
side-by-side
62
00:02:45,829 --> 00:02:48,898
desks thingies
that are slanted.
63
00:02:48,932 --> 00:02:51,000
Yeah.
64
00:02:52,035 --> 00:02:54,937
You should get going.
65
00:02:54,972 --> 00:02:57,840
I don't want you
driving after dark.
66
00:02:57,875 --> 00:03:00,576
You know Max loves you, dad.
67
00:03:00,611 --> 00:03:02,945
He came to live with you.
68
00:03:04,915 --> 00:03:07,617
Yeah.
Yeah.
69
00:03:07,651 --> 00:03:11,954
Okay, so send me
your essay on Friday...
70
00:03:11,989 --> 00:03:14,457
unless Steve's got
that covered too.
71
00:03:14,491 --> 00:03:15,625
Dad.
72
00:03:15,659 --> 00:03:18,361
I'm just kidding.
73
00:03:18,395 --> 00:03:20,029
Anyway, I love you.
74
00:03:20,063 --> 00:03:22,131
Love you too.
75
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,607
- Seat belt.
- Yeah yeah.
76
00:03:31,642 --> 00:03:34,811
No talking on the phone
when you're driving, okay?
77
00:03:34,845 --> 00:03:36,345
Love you.
78
00:03:36,380 --> 00:03:38,314
Love you too.
79
00:03:49,793 --> 00:03:54,230
( Theme music playing )
80
00:03:54,430 --> 00:04:04,630
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
81
00:04:11,849 --> 00:04:13,749
You cut your hair.
82
00:04:13,784 --> 00:04:17,353
It's different.
It's lighter.
83
00:04:17,387 --> 00:04:19,856
Darker, for the play.
84
00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:23,926
It's very...
very becoming.
85
00:04:23,961 --> 00:04:27,363
Well, it's becoming
Maxine, not me.
86
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:30,700
You know, I look in the mirror,
87
00:04:30,734 --> 00:04:33,736
wear the shirt.
It helps me to find her reality.
88
00:04:33,770 --> 00:04:35,771
Not that that reality is
89
00:04:35,806 --> 00:04:38,341
all that different
than my reality, but...
90
00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:40,409
What do you mean?
91
00:04:40,444 --> 00:04:42,612
She's recently widowed,
92
00:04:42,646 --> 00:04:45,114
all alone in the world,
93
00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:47,617
sex-starved.
94
00:04:47,651 --> 00:04:51,254
You know, I am...
Well, there are overlaps.
95
00:04:51,288 --> 00:04:53,222
Overlaps?
96
00:04:53,257 --> 00:04:55,658
Do you think that has
anything to do
97
00:04:55,692 --> 00:04:58,494
with why you might be
struggling with your lines?
98
00:04:58,528 --> 00:05:00,963
Maybe.
99
00:05:01,899 --> 00:05:04,467
So how...
how did the week go?
100
00:05:04,501 --> 00:05:06,469
Fine.
101
00:05:06,503 --> 00:05:08,738
Any lapses?
102
00:05:08,772 --> 00:05:11,040
Not really.
103
00:05:11,074 --> 00:05:13,643
You left here last week
and you were terrified
104
00:05:13,677 --> 00:05:15,878
that you were
going to fail
105
00:05:15,913 --> 00:05:18,347
in front of the audience
in the theater.
106
00:05:18,382 --> 00:05:20,750
Yeah well, there are still
moments when I'm onstage
107
00:05:20,784 --> 00:05:23,152
that I worry about stumbling
on this scene or that,
108
00:05:23,186 --> 00:05:25,154
but I manage.
I get through.
109
00:05:25,188 --> 00:05:27,156
Is one of those scenes
the one you asked me
110
00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:28,891
to read with you last week?
111
00:05:32,095 --> 00:05:35,564
You were pretty angry
when you left.
112
00:05:35,599 --> 00:05:37,767
No, I understood
why you kicked me out.
113
00:05:37,801 --> 00:05:39,869
Kicked you out?
114
00:05:39,903 --> 00:05:43,773
Yeah, it was inappropriate.
You were not comfortable.
115
00:05:43,807 --> 00:05:46,108
Well, that's...
that's true.
116
00:05:46,143 --> 00:05:48,110
But the way I remember it,
117
00:05:48,145 --> 00:05:51,113
you stormed out of the room.
118
00:05:51,148 --> 00:05:53,182
How do you remember
that moment?
119
00:05:53,216 --> 00:05:55,584
I asked you to run lines
120
00:05:55,619 --> 00:05:59,255
and you refused to help me.
121
00:05:59,289 --> 00:06:01,324
I felt sorry for you.
122
00:06:01,358 --> 00:06:02,758
Really?
123
00:06:02,793 --> 00:06:04,994
Yeah, I mean
it must be strange,
124
00:06:05,028 --> 00:06:06,896
you know, treating
someone like me.
125
00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:09,098
You mean somebody
famous like you.
126
00:06:09,132 --> 00:06:11,567
You know, ultimately
it's not that interesting
127
00:06:11,601 --> 00:06:13,536
to read a scene, so...
128
00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:15,638
Is that something
that you've been feeling...
129
00:06:15,672 --> 00:06:18,741
that your work
isn't that interesting?
130
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:22,011
Because you have spoken about
it passionately in the past.
131
00:06:22,045 --> 00:06:24,280
Yeah well, there are times.
132
00:06:24,314 --> 00:06:26,782
Would you like to talk
about one of these times?
133
00:06:26,817 --> 00:06:29,151
No.
134
00:06:29,186 --> 00:06:31,487
Well, it's just that I would...
135
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:33,489
I'd like to understand
what it is
136
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,691
that you are experiencing,
137
00:06:35,726 --> 00:06:38,160
what you're feeling.
138
00:06:38,195 --> 00:06:42,465
I've never done it,
so I'm curious.
139
00:06:44,968 --> 00:06:48,971
Well, you know I felt
really disconnected
140
00:06:49,006 --> 00:06:51,107
all that time in rehearsal.
141
00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:53,776
And this week...
142
00:06:53,810 --> 00:06:56,445
this week in previews,
143
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:59,582
I really felt like I understood
144
00:06:59,616 --> 00:07:01,717
something new about what I...
145
00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:05,254
what she needed,
you know, in a moment.
146
00:07:05,288 --> 00:07:08,190
And it just clicked into place.
147
00:07:08,225 --> 00:07:10,559
It was...
148
00:07:10,594 --> 00:07:13,295
Well, I was totally in time...
149
00:07:13,330 --> 00:07:16,966
Present.
150
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,602
Maybe it was just the haircut.
151
00:07:19,636 --> 00:07:23,939
And this feeling
of feeling present...
152
00:07:23,974 --> 00:07:25,641
Was it momentary?
153
00:07:25,675 --> 00:07:27,643
No, it lasted till the end.
154
00:07:27,677 --> 00:07:29,912
And it was palpable.
I mean,
155
00:07:29,946 --> 00:07:32,248
the applause was...
156
00:07:32,282 --> 00:07:34,016
- What?
- Loud.
157
00:07:34,051 --> 00:07:37,553
That must have felt good.
158
00:07:38,555 --> 00:07:40,856
Think of where you were.
159
00:07:40,891 --> 00:07:42,658
You were terrified.
160
00:07:42,692 --> 00:07:45,194
You were dreading
the week of previews.
161
00:07:45,228 --> 00:07:47,329
Then the play goes on.
It's a success.
162
00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:49,298
You make this connection.
163
00:07:49,332 --> 00:07:56,472
You must feel a satisfaction.
164
00:07:56,506 --> 00:08:01,277
What happens
between then and now?
165
00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:07,817
I go home.
166
00:08:09,352 --> 00:08:12,922
The apartment's dark.
The fridge is empty.
167
00:08:12,956 --> 00:08:15,391
I open a can of soup.
168
00:08:15,425 --> 00:08:18,227
It's a nasty hangover...
169
00:08:18,261 --> 00:08:21,430
my life.
170
00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:32,741
Do you want to come
to opening night?
171
00:08:32,776 --> 00:08:36,312
I have a set of tickets
and I was just thinking,
172
00:08:36,346 --> 00:08:38,214
you know, why don't
you just come?
173
00:08:38,248 --> 00:08:39,615
Why would you want me there?
174
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,650
I don't know.
You sound interested, so...
175
00:08:41,685 --> 00:08:43,819
Any other reasons?
176
00:08:45,155 --> 00:08:47,123
You could see that I'm good.
177
00:08:47,157 --> 00:08:49,859
Well, I know that.
178
00:08:49,893 --> 00:08:51,727
Why?
179
00:08:51,761 --> 00:08:53,796
Because I've seen your films.
180
00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,664
Which ones?
181
00:08:55,699 --> 00:08:57,833
All of them.
182
00:08:59,202 --> 00:09:01,904
Anyway, you've never
seen me onstage, right?
183
00:09:01,938 --> 00:09:04,240
No, I ve not seen you onstage.
184
00:09:04,274 --> 00:09:06,709
So there you go. You could come
and see what it is that I do.
185
00:09:06,743 --> 00:09:08,144
I mean, is that so strange?
186
00:09:08,178 --> 00:09:09,812
You just said you wanted to...
187
00:09:09,846 --> 00:09:13,149
It's not strange at all.
188
00:09:13,183 --> 00:09:17,019
But I'm gonna have to say no.
189
00:09:17,053 --> 00:09:18,988
Okay, well,
190
00:09:19,022 --> 00:09:22,625
is that because of me
or some policy or...?
191
00:09:22,659 --> 00:09:25,394
Well yes, it is
a kind of policy.
192
00:09:25,428 --> 00:09:27,363
I think that...
193
00:09:27,397 --> 00:09:30,299
I think that it would
interfere with the work
194
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:32,134
that we're trying to do
here in this room.
195
00:09:32,169 --> 00:09:35,738
But please don't
take that personally.
196
00:09:35,772 --> 00:09:37,540
No, that's fine.
I understand.
197
00:09:37,574 --> 00:09:39,475
I'll sell them on ebay.
198
00:09:39,509 --> 00:09:41,544
( Chuckles )
199
00:09:44,447 --> 00:09:47,750
You were considering
inviting Patricia.
200
00:09:49,653 --> 00:09:51,487
Did you do that?
201
00:09:52,789 --> 00:09:54,490
Why not?
202
00:09:55,859 --> 00:09:58,561
Have you spoken
to Patricia this week?
203
00:09:58,595 --> 00:10:01,864
I did what you told me to do.
204
00:10:01,898 --> 00:10:03,365
What did I tell you to do?
205
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:06,202
You told me that it wasn't
too late to make amends.
206
00:10:06,236 --> 00:10:10,039
So I went to her
and I apologized.
207
00:10:10,073 --> 00:10:12,474
For telling her
not to be an actress.
208
00:10:12,509 --> 00:10:14,476
She didn't even know
what I was talking about.
209
00:10:14,511 --> 00:10:17,880
She hardly remembered
being in that play.
210
00:10:17,914 --> 00:10:19,882
You know, I told her
211
00:10:19,916 --> 00:10:21,850
that I thought
she was wonderful
212
00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:25,287
and that it was wrong
of me to dissuade her.
213
00:10:25,322 --> 00:10:27,957
And she said, "oh, don't
worry about that."
214
00:10:27,991 --> 00:10:30,392
And then she thanked me.
215
00:10:30,427 --> 00:10:32,895
She said, "I don't know how
you bear all that bullshit."
216
00:10:32,929 --> 00:10:34,863
She said I saved her.
217
00:10:34,898 --> 00:10:37,366
And then... this is
this best... she said,
218
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,736
"I'm glad I got
to lead a real life."
219
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:44,506
A real life...
can you believe that?
220
00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:46,175
It must have been hurtful.
221
00:10:46,209 --> 00:10:48,944
You think?
Humiliating.
222
00:10:48,979 --> 00:10:51,513
I mean, I was trying
to apologize.
223
00:10:51,548 --> 00:10:54,917
And did you tell her that?
That it felt painful?
224
00:10:56,152 --> 00:10:58,153
Of course not.
225
00:10:58,188 --> 00:11:01,323
And can I ask why?
226
00:11:01,358 --> 00:11:02,992
She's sick, Paul.
227
00:11:03,026 --> 00:11:04,693
I went there to make amends,
228
00:11:04,728 --> 00:11:06,328
not pick a fight.
229
00:11:06,363 --> 00:11:08,597
I... I...
I wajust aware
230
00:11:08,632 --> 00:11:11,333
that you felt guilty.
231
00:11:11,368 --> 00:11:14,737
I thought that talking to
Patricia might be helpful.
232
00:11:14,771 --> 00:11:16,438
I'm sorry it wasn't.
233
00:11:16,473 --> 00:11:18,774
At least now I know
what she thinks of me,
234
00:11:18,808 --> 00:11:22,711
what she thinks
of the life I chose.
235
00:11:22,746 --> 00:11:26,649
What do you think
of the life you chose?
236
00:11:29,085 --> 00:11:31,987
The last time we spoke
I had the feeling
237
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:33,956
that you are very invested
238
00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:36,392
in the way other people see you
239
00:11:36,426 --> 00:11:39,094
and your sister's
judgment has...
240
00:11:39,129 --> 00:11:42,097
It's clearly had a big impact
241
00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:44,767
on how you view yourself.
242
00:11:44,801 --> 00:11:47,036
Look, you know,
243
00:11:47,070 --> 00:11:50,139
I understand that tricia
wouldn't want my life anyway.
244
00:11:50,173 --> 00:11:53,142
All my conctions
245
00:11:53,176 --> 00:11:56,211
are, you know, fiction.
246
00:11:56,246 --> 00:11:58,180
Maybe they always have been.
247
00:11:58,214 --> 00:12:01,216
Do you really believe that?
248
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,688
I mean, when you met Russell,
you told me
249
00:12:05,722 --> 00:12:08,490
that you had a really
deep connection with him.
250
00:12:08,525 --> 00:12:11,393
Yeah well, I think
we did at first.
251
00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:16,365
I just... I always felt like I
had to prove myself to Russell.
252
00:12:16,399 --> 00:12:17,833
Prove yourself?
253
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:20,002
Yeah, to Russell
and his friends...
254
00:12:20,036 --> 00:12:22,104
You know, these academics,
255
00:12:22,138 --> 00:12:25,040
shrinks, political scientists.
256
00:12:25,075 --> 00:12:28,610
I always thought they were
gonna see right through me.
257
00:12:28,645 --> 00:12:32,648
And what do you think
they would see?
258
00:12:35,218 --> 00:12:37,753
That there's no there there.
259
00:12:37,787 --> 00:12:40,756
That's what Russell
used to say about L.A.
260
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:43,926
You were afraid that
that's how Russell saw you,
261
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,762
and his friends...
"no there there."
262
00:12:46,796 --> 00:12:49,898
Yeah, Russell's shallow
actress wife.
263
00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:51,700
Oh, but how the fuck
would they know?
264
00:12:51,735 --> 00:12:55,270
They've never come
to a performance either.
265
00:12:55,305 --> 00:12:58,140
Are you upset with me
266
00:12:58,174 --> 00:13:01,744
because I said I wouldn't
come to your play?
267
00:13:01,778 --> 00:13:05,748
You invited me
to an important event...
268
00:13:05,782 --> 00:13:08,016
Your opening night.
269
00:13:08,051 --> 00:13:12,721
And I thank you for that.
270
00:13:12,756 --> 00:13:15,624
But isn't there somebody else
you'd like to ask instead?
271
00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:18,293
We talked about tricia.
What about izzy?
272
00:13:18,328 --> 00:13:21,397
Isn't she someone
you'd like to take with you?
273
00:13:21,431 --> 00:13:23,632
Have you thought
about asking her?
274
00:13:23,666 --> 00:13:27,236
No, that would require us
to be in the same building.
275
00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:29,204
Well, surely you know
276
00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:31,373
that the relationship with izzy
277
00:13:31,408 --> 00:13:33,842
will survive
this teenage angst.
278
00:13:33,877 --> 00:13:35,644
I'm not sure about that.
279
00:13:35,678 --> 00:13:38,180
I know it may not feel
that way, but...
280
00:13:38,214 --> 00:13:40,349
You know, sometimes I think
that having a teenager
281
00:13:40,383 --> 00:13:42,284
is like going to the dark
side of the moon.
282
00:13:42,318 --> 00:13:46,121
The person that you know and
that you love just disappears.
283
00:13:46,156 --> 00:13:48,490
And you just have to trust
that eventually
284
00:13:48,525 --> 00:13:50,626
they will come back.
285
00:13:50,660 --> 00:13:54,329
Maybe different,
but they will come back.
286
00:13:54,364 --> 00:13:57,833
Did that happen to you?
287
00:13:57,867 --> 00:14:00,202
Yes, with my daughter, yes.
288
00:14:00,236 --> 00:14:02,571
Yeah.
289
00:14:04,107 --> 00:14:07,109
Yeah well, I'm still reading
my daughter's emails, so...
290
00:14:07,143 --> 00:14:08,811
( Chuckles )
291
00:14:08,845 --> 00:14:10,779
I don't know.
It's an addiction, you know?
292
00:14:10,814 --> 00:14:12,748
Like a junkie just waiting
293
00:14:12,782 --> 00:14:16,351
for hits of information
about my own kid.
294
00:14:16,386 --> 00:14:18,921
You know, she signs
some of them "Isabel" now.
295
00:14:18,955 --> 00:14:22,858
I mean, when did she
become Isabel?
296
00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:26,495
You might be curious to know
297
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:29,465
that her and young Miller
have not yet had sex.
298
00:14:29,499 --> 00:14:32,534
They talk about it,
however, all the time.
299
00:14:32,569 --> 00:14:35,037
I kind of want to tell her,
300
00:14:35,071 --> 00:14:38,106
"try to preserve
some of the mystery."
301
00:14:38,141 --> 00:14:42,044
But I want to tell her
a lot of things.
302
00:14:42,078 --> 00:14:44,313
( Sighs )
303
00:14:44,347 --> 00:14:45,814
She did say something nice.
304
00:14:45,849 --> 00:14:48,183
Miller had seen
a movie of mine on tv
305
00:14:48,218 --> 00:14:51,687
and he said,
"your mother was amazing."
306
00:14:51,721 --> 00:14:56,158
And izzy wrote back,
"she is amazing."
307
00:14:56,192 --> 00:14:58,293
Were you surprised
by that comment?
308
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:01,530
Oh, it was a silly movie.
I got good enough revws,
309
00:15:01,564 --> 00:15:03,332
but it wasn't my best work.
310
00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:05,300
What I meant was,
were you surprised
311
00:15:05,335 --> 00:15:08,036
that izzy would
compliment you like that?
312
00:15:08,071 --> 00:15:10,038
She wasn't speaking of me.
313
00:15:10,073 --> 00:15:12,841
She was speaking
of the performance.
314
00:15:14,077 --> 00:15:16,545
Izzy revealed how she felt
in that email.
315
00:15:16,579 --> 00:15:18,547
She said something
very kind about you.
316
00:15:18,581 --> 00:15:20,182
She said you were amazing.
317
00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:23,051
But you dismissed
her comment.
318
00:15:23,086 --> 00:15:25,120
I've noticed
that again and again
319
00:15:25,154 --> 00:15:27,222
you put yourself down
320
00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:30,526
with remarkable
consistency.
321
00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,528
And the more success you have,
322
00:15:32,562 --> 00:15:34,963
the more applause you get
for playing other people,
323
00:15:34,998 --> 00:15:36,899
the more convinced you are
324
00:15:36,933 --> 00:15:40,302
that you have nothing
to offer as yourself.
325
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:46,675
When I said before
that I didn't have anyone
326
00:15:46,709 --> 00:15:49,845
to be there for me
at the opening...
327
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:52,881
I think what I mean
is that I'd really like
328
00:15:52,916 --> 00:15:55,217
for my mother to be able
to be there.
329
00:15:55,251 --> 00:15:57,853
You know, I've done a lot of
movies since mother died,
330
00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,721
but this will be the first time
331
00:15:59,756 --> 00:16:02,858
that I'll be onstage
without her watching.
332
00:16:02,892 --> 00:16:05,527
You really do miss her,
don't you?
333
00:16:05,562 --> 00:16:09,064
Well, it was really
like a special light
334
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,633
that shone just on me
335
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:14,202
when she was in the audience.
336
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:18,173
I mean, she came to everything
337
00:16:18,207 --> 00:16:20,075
even when I was a kid.
338
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:23,145
And then when I moved to New York,
she used to take the train up.
339
00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:26,848
And I flew her to London
for the weekend.
340
00:16:26,883 --> 00:16:28,717
She sat through
all four performances.
341
00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:30,586
That's nine hours of Beckett.
342
00:16:30,620 --> 00:16:33,055
Well, that's love.
343
00:16:33,089 --> 00:16:36,792
Even at the very end... I had
a premiere here in town.
344
00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:39,628
And she just didn't
want to miss it.
345
00:16:39,662 --> 00:16:42,798
She was so sick by then, she was
in and out of the hospital.
346
00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:45,067
But she insisted.
347
00:16:45,101 --> 00:16:48,370
And tricia had to bring her.
348
00:16:51,107 --> 00:16:54,309
I remember she wore
this amazing blue gown.
349
00:16:54,344 --> 00:16:56,311
It had this, like,
plunging neckline.
350
00:16:56,346 --> 00:16:59,314
And she wore, of course,
her red lipstick
351
00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:02,618
and a black wig
with this classic updo.
352
00:17:02,652 --> 00:17:04,586
She handled
herself beautifully.
353
00:17:04,621 --> 00:17:07,656
She charmed the hell
out of everyone.
354
00:17:07,690 --> 00:17:09,758
I mean, it was hard
to believe she was sick,
355
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:12,194
let alone dying.
356
00:17:12,228 --> 00:17:14,429
We went back
to the hotel afterwards.
357
00:17:14,464 --> 00:17:18,166
I'd gotten this great room
with a view of the park and...
358
00:17:18,201 --> 00:17:20,736
( Exhales )
Ordered champagne...
359
00:17:20,770 --> 00:17:23,372
Just a great time.
360
00:17:25,408 --> 00:17:28,710
It was...
361
00:17:28,745 --> 00:17:32,514
It was the last time I saw her.
362
00:17:36,519 --> 00:17:38,954
But you told me
363
00:17:38,988 --> 00:17:42,124
that you were going
back and forth
364
00:17:42,158 --> 00:17:44,526
to the hospital a lot.
365
00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,932
I know that's what I said,
366
00:17:50,967 --> 00:17:55,404
because honestly that's
what it felt like inside.
367
00:17:56,873 --> 00:18:00,409
I've been telling myself
that story for so long...
368
00:18:07,984 --> 00:18:10,819
That you've convinced
yourself that it's true.
369
00:18:10,853 --> 00:18:13,655
I mean, when she came to New
York, she looked so much better.
370
00:18:13,690 --> 00:18:15,157
I thought...
371
00:18:15,191 --> 00:18:17,092
I don't know what I thought.
372
00:18:17,126 --> 00:18:21,063
Well, maybe you wanted
to remember her like that.
373
00:18:21,097 --> 00:18:23,331
I hated to see her in that bed.
374
00:18:23,366 --> 00:18:24,866
That was not her.
375
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:27,736
You said that you felt out
of place at the hospital.
376
00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,371
Oh, I was inept.
377
00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:33,141
What do you mean,
you were inept?
378
00:18:33,176 --> 00:18:35,777
She was in pain.
379
00:18:35,812 --> 00:18:37,879
I wanted to help, you know,
380
00:18:37,914 --> 00:18:40,849
so I put on her makeup,
381
00:18:40,883 --> 00:18:42,951
'cause that's what
I know how to do.
382
00:18:42,985 --> 00:18:45,253
And then?
383
00:18:45,288 --> 00:18:48,623
The meds would wear off and
she would start to scream.
384
00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:51,093
I couldn't do anything.
385
00:18:52,895 --> 00:18:55,363
Nothing.
I... I threw up.
386
00:18:55,398 --> 00:18:57,799
I vomited in the sink
at the hospital.
387
00:18:59,702 --> 00:19:02,471
Tricia said it got even
worse after the premiere.
388
00:19:02,505 --> 00:19:05,607
She, I think,
blamed me, you know,
389
00:19:05,641 --> 00:19:08,343
for pushing her too hard.
390
00:19:08,377 --> 00:19:11,113
New York was exhausting.
391
00:19:11,147 --> 00:19:13,348
Why did I need her to be
392
00:19:13,382 --> 00:19:15,684
at this ridiculous premiere?
393
00:19:15,718 --> 00:19:17,652
Did she really say that?
394
00:19:20,490 --> 00:19:24,326
We're back on familiar
ground really, aren't we?
395
00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:27,596
You think that
Patricia blames you,
396
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:30,031
that she's punishing you.
397
00:19:30,066 --> 00:19:33,201
And you blame yourself.
398
00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:37,506
In the end tricia told me
399
00:19:37,540 --> 00:19:39,541
that mom was delirious
in the hospital.
400
00:19:39,575 --> 00:19:44,880
She was talking
401
00:19:44,914 --> 00:19:46,948
about her daughters,
you know...
402
00:19:46,983 --> 00:19:48,884
How much she loved us,
her little angels,
403
00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:51,186
her sweethearts.
That was the word she always used...
404
00:19:51,220 --> 00:19:54,156
sweethearts, her best girls.
405
00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:56,491
"I love you, my daughters,
406
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:59,628
my best girls,
my angels."
407
00:19:59,662 --> 00:20:03,131
She was talking as if
both of us were there.
408
00:20:03,166 --> 00:20:05,367
But...
409
00:20:05,401 --> 00:20:07,502
I wasn't there.
410
00:20:09,038 --> 00:20:10,739
I wasn't there.
411
00:20:10,773 --> 00:20:14,509
I never said goodbye to her.
412
00:20:14,544 --> 00:20:15,977
My mother...
413
00:20:16,012 --> 00:20:20,215
She just must have been
so disappointed by me.
414
00:20:20,249 --> 00:20:23,118
But your mother didn't know
you weren't there.
415
00:20:23,152 --> 00:20:25,854
She couldn't have been
disappointed.
416
00:20:25,888 --> 00:20:27,956
You were one of her best girls.
417
00:20:27,990 --> 00:20:29,925
She was your biggest fan.
418
00:20:29,959 --> 00:20:32,661
She was so proud of you.
419
00:20:32,695 --> 00:20:37,365
That feeling of disappointment
comes from you.
420
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,367
20 years ago you were afraid
421
00:20:39,402 --> 00:20:41,369
you didn't have
the strength, the heart
422
00:20:41,404 --> 00:20:43,872
to see your mother
through her death.
423
00:20:43,906 --> 00:20:47,175
You were so afraid, you didn't
even let yourself show up.
424
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:50,011
Now your sister is dying
425
00:20:50,046 --> 00:20:54,316
and you're terrified again.
426
00:20:54,350 --> 00:20:56,318
Are you afraid
427
00:20:56,352 --> 00:20:59,988
that what Russell
thought of you is true...
428
00:21:00,022 --> 00:21:04,292
That there's no
there there, hmm?
429
00:21:04,327 --> 00:21:06,294
I think it's really important
430
00:21:06,329 --> 00:21:08,697
that you answer this
question on your own:
431
00:21:08,731 --> 00:21:11,967
What is, or what isn't there,
432
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:14,336
inside... inside you?
433
00:21:14,370 --> 00:21:16,371
Apart from your mother, your
sister, your ex-husband,
434
00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:18,473
me, nobody in the audience...
435
00:21:18,507 --> 00:21:21,276
How do you, Frances,
436
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:24,279
measure your own worth?
437
00:21:33,022 --> 00:21:35,190
It's time, right?
438
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:40,128
( Sniffles )
439
00:21:40,162 --> 00:21:42,297
Just give me a moment.
440
00:21:47,970 --> 00:21:50,739
Wow, okay.
441
00:21:50,773 --> 00:21:53,875
This is just gonna
have to do, isn't it?
442
00:21:58,447 --> 00:22:02,284
Wow, okay.
443
00:22:06,188 --> 00:22:10,759
Oh, Paul, last week when I left
444
00:22:10,793 --> 00:22:13,495
there was somebody
in the waiting room.
445
00:22:15,865 --> 00:22:20,435
I really don't want
to see anyone.
446
00:22:27,476 --> 00:22:29,377
Oh good.
447
00:22:29,412 --> 00:22:31,846
- See you next week.
- Yeah.
448
00:22:36,619 --> 00:22:38,954
( Knocks on door )
449
00:22:43,559 --> 00:22:46,127
I forgot to tell you
that I got the results
450
00:22:46,162 --> 00:22:49,130
of the BRCA1 test.
I haven't opened them yet.
451
00:22:49,165 --> 00:22:51,833
It'll give us something
to talk about next week.
452
00:22:52,033 --> 00:23:02,233
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com