1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:05,830
Wheels on fire

2
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:12,193
Rolling down the road

3
00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:16,598
Best notify my next of kin

4
00:00:16,720 --> 00:00:22,431
This wheel shall explode!

6
00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:30,717
Bubble, just try them again!

7
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,957
To have their photograph
taken with me for the magazine.

8
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,832
Here's my list.

9
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:37,871
Liv Tyler, Kate Beckinsale...

10
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:41,632
All right. Emma Bunton. Try Emma Bunton.

11
00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,196
What magazine is it, darling?
It's Tatler or Harpers.

12
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:49,154
The wonderful thing is it's not my magazine.
I have no responsibility.

13
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,475
I'm just going to be a model, modelling.

14
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,909
Who's in charge of it, sweetheart?

15
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,393
Candy Bender.

16
00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,715
Candy de Denison-Bender. Try her.

17
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,116
Oh, try Chloe Sevigny.
She might want to be my daughter.

18
00:01:01,320 --> 00:01:03,231
No, it's for Paris tomorrow.

19
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:04,998
What do you mean?

20
00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:07,031
Today! Darling, it's today!

21
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:09,230
It's too late. Too late. Forget it.

22
00:01:09,440 --> 00:01:13,149
Damn, damn, damn, damn,
damn, damn, damn!

23
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,671
Oh, darling, who was that?

24
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:19,588
Kate Beckinsale, Chloe Sevigny,
Thora Birch and Emma Bunton.

25
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:24,509
- You know what this means?
- What's that?

26
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,870
Saffy's going to have to be my daughter.

27
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:30,030
Never mind, Eddie. Now, hurry up.

28
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:33,835
Erin said she's going to meet us
at the Eurostar. Eddie, hurry up!

29
00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:36,758
gloves, scarves, shoes.
gloves, scarves, shoes.

30
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,996
Oh, a model's life.

32
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,474
Professionalism, punctuality, and...

33
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:02,516
More lips, more face,
more nose, sharper cheeks.

34
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:05,559
Darling? Pats, Pats, Pats. For Saff?

35
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:08,552
Yeah? Fabulous.

36
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,074
You're fabulous.

37
00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:36,674
Saff.

38
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,189
Saff, Saff. Saff, darling.

39
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,909
It's only me, darling. It's all right.

40
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,270
It's not all right. What do you want?

41
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,992
It's time to get up. Come on.

42
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:55,351
We're going to Paris.
You promised you'd do this for me.

43
00:02:55,480 --> 00:02:56,833
Come on, darling.

44
00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,713
You said you'd get someone else to do it.

45
00:02:59,920 --> 00:03:02,354
Well, I tried Liv Tyler and Kate Beckinsale.

46
00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,599
Joke.

47
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,312
I know it's not.

48
00:03:09,320 --> 00:03:12,118
Oh, don't go limp again!
Come on, get up, get up.

49
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:15,118
Day in Paris. You can look at things.

50
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,151
Come on, sweetheart, darling.

51
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:19,396
You are my daughter - sad, but true.

52
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,598
- We will be back by tonight?
- Yes. Just one day.

53
00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:28,395
Come here, sweetheart. Look.
Mama's left some clothes for you.

54
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,556
All right? That'll be lovely on you.
Look, sweetheart.

55
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,514
And don't worry about all this.
They'll sort all this out. OK?

56
00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:42,232
get dressed, sweetheart.

57
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,439
I'm your mother. I have seen your tits before.

58
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,079
No, you haven't.

59
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,472
We've all got 'em, darling.

60
00:03:57,080 --> 00:04:00,197
Come on, quick, quick, quick.
Speed, speed.

61
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,918
Darling, is this an article
or the whole edition?

62
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,350
Candy says it's the whole edition.
Generation Flex.

63
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,869
Your bit will be just a little insert.

64
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,753
The fashion - that's me and Erin -
the spreads.

65
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,234
The cover.

66
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,478
Oh, Eddie, modelling again!
Going on a photo shoot.

67
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,591
It's just like the old times, babe.

68
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,075
Do you need all this stuff? It's only a day.

69
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:35,351
Darling, as a model,
you have to be prepared.

70
00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:38,836
Good nails, teeth, hair, and a look
that says to the photographer,

71
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,396
"There's nothing I won't do
to make your life easier."

72
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:46,069
Yeah. That's lovely, darling.
That's gorgeous, love.

73
00:04:46,280 --> 00:04:48,669
Beautiful. Say Thursday.

74
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,712
- Thursday.
- Lovely. Say Thursday again.

75
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,512
Thursday.

76
00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,870
More movement, love. Beautiful.

77
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,513
Thursday.

78
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,594
- Thurs...
- Why is she coming?

79
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,519
She's doing the fashion thing
with Erin O'Connor -

80
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,278
the face of now.

81
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,550
Same as us. Young and old.

82
00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,193
You're not old, Eddie.

83
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,712
Did you hear that?

84
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,117
What are you wearing?

85
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,390
What are you wearing? Look at this!

86
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:22,075
That shirt is trying to strangle you.

87
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:25,909
Why does everything you wear
look like it's bearing a grudge?

88
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:32,078
You've got a wardrobe full
of little murderers. Look at them.

89
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,358
Who else is doing our article?

90
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:37,950
Jerry Hall's got Lizzie Jagger.
Goldie Hawn's got Kate Hudson.

91
00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,310
- Ivana's got Ivanka.
- Inevitably.

92
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:42,829
- And I've got little Erin O'Connor.
- Erin.

93
00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,234
It all sounds sad.

94
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,271
It's not sad, actually, darling.

95
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,190
It's all about this great idea.
If you can be interesting at 20,

96
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:53,551
you can be interesting
at 30, 40, 50, 60.

97
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,311
Eddie, I'm 42!

98
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:00,870
Well, I hope I'll be more interesting.

99
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,036
Well, hallelujah! Don't we all?

100
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,712
Anyway, once a party girl,
always a party girl.

101
00:06:06,840 --> 00:06:09,149
If you can still get a straw up your nose...

102
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,111
The world is your toilet seat!

104
00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,196
- She's the fashion...
- Deputy sub...

105
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,356
With the magazine, anyway.

106
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,471
Go and answer the door, darling!

107
00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,830
Tell him we're meeting Erin at the station!

108
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,872
Oh, Erin, sweet little thing.
She just worships me.

109
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:29,390
She thinks I'm cool.
I'm a bit of a role model here.

110
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,831
Shut up. Shut up about Erin.

111
00:06:32,960 --> 00:06:34,996
Now, where are my G-string panty pads?

112
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,474
Ooh.

113
00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:49,918
What are you doing?

114
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,669
Well, I'm not dressed like this
to stay here and eat whelks.

115
00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,711
Hello, darling.
Can you get rid of that for me?

116
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,558
A little present from Fisty.

117
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:05,996
Come on, guys. We're going to be late!

118
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,953
- We're coming.
- Erin's meeting us at the station.

119
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:11,799
Who's the photographer? Lichfield, Bailey?

120
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,273
- Rimmer.
- Rimmer?

121
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,312
- Dazed And Confused.
- Like Patsy.

122
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:20,195
Oh, Rimmer! Rimmer. I love Rimmer.
And, darling, what's the mood?

123
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:21,912
Yves St Laurent...

124
00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:23,837
- I love it!
...trailer trash.

125
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:25,678
I'll sort it out when we get there.

126
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:29,839
You! What are you doing here?
You silly tit, dressed like a tit.

127
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,838
You're not coming. You haven't got a ticket.

128
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,713
- You have to be chipped!
- Chip! Chip!

129
00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:39,037
She's talking to you.
Actually, has your dog been chipped?

130
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,958
- What?
- They won't let it in.

131
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,789
- Are you sure?
- Yes. A dog needs its own passport.

132
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:48,309
Erin? No, we're meeting her at the station.

133
00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:50,795
I must ring Minge. Get her to look after Fisty.

134
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:53,229
- Chicken licking!
- Undo your top button!

135
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:56,750
I'm not asking you to get your
tatters out. Just undo your button.

136
00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,199
Got everything? Oh!

137
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,276
Money, tickets, passport.

138
00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,150
Bring those, Dave. Put this there.

139
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:11,952
Oh, Erin! Erin! Erin!

140
00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,354
Patsy.

141
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,435
- Bit bloody early, isn't it?
- Early?

142
00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:19,233
In my day, this wasn't early,
this was yesterday.

143
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:20,759
Do you know Rimmer?

144
00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,110
Yes. I love Rimmer.
Do you know Candy?

145
00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:25,196
- No.
- Lady Candida Denison-Bender.

146
00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:27,117
Candy de Bender. Candy Bender.

147
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:29,310
I'm afraid I don't. Shall we?

148
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,079
Yes. Oh, just us.

149
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,599
Just us.

150
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:34,994
Erin, Erin.

151
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,318
Bitch, Minge.

152
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,193
Minge won't take Fisty.
You'll have to go without me.

153
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,595
Tie him up here and we'll pick him up later.

154
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,676
No, don't. I know how that feels.

155
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,109
Rimmer knows what he's doing.
He'll be fine.

156
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,959
That's a nice little bag. I've got a little bag.

157
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,230
Shame she couldn't come with us.

158
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,078
- What's this?
- It's a guide book.

159
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,350
You are not bringing that with you. No!

160
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,790
- But I want to see Paris.
- Put that away!

161
00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:12,557
Put that book down, will you?

162
00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,349
- She's a friend of mine.
- She's a friend of mine, too.

163
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:20,758
Rimmer, did you do Jerry Hall
and Lizzie Jagger? Were they outrageous?

164
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:25,476
They were great. They had a real
kind of machismo bitch thing going.

165
00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,150
Put the passport down.
No one wants to see that.

166
00:09:33,360 --> 00:09:35,476
- Can I see your photo?
- It's awful...

167
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:38,034
- I'll give you mine.
- It's Rosa Klebb!

168
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,718
Yours can't be bad.

169
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,558
Pretty, isn't she?

170
00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,437
God, you're much younger than me.

171
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,028
Living with my mother makes me look old.

172
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:54,715
- Look at mine.
- I love that angle.

173
00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,758
See mine? My face doesn't
normally look like this.

174
00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,713
- It's too close to the camera.
- It's a good photo.

175
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,229
- The photographer caught something.
- Syphilis.

176
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,353
Stop it! Will you just grow up?!

177
00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:12,392
Who's Rosa Klebb?

178
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:14,875
Why does no one
ever mean anything to you?

179
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,316
Rosa Klebb was the ugliest woman...

180
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:22,310
The second ugliest woman
in the world. She was in that Bond...

181
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,237
Who was the Bond in that Bond?

182
00:10:24,360 --> 00:10:27,830
- There's only one Bond, darling.
- Erin, Sean was the Bond.

183
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,236
Sean? Right. I think
that was before I was born.

184
00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,833
That's lovely.

185
00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:39,154
- Pats?
- Yeah?

186
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,918
We're still in the tunnel.

187
00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,192
Where are we going?

188
00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:03,198
- Here.
- Café de Flore.

189
00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,515
Yes. Go on, little man.

190
00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,956
Put it on for fun.
No! I am not your accessory.

191
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,672
To get rid of that death pallor!

192
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,313
I'll do it myself!

193
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,396
What is wrong with this? Tell her.

194
00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:19,954
Look, no. I shall do it myself.

195
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:24,794
I've got everything with me.
I've got shoes, bags, scarves, gloves.

196
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,519
- Patsy.
- Yes, darling.

197
00:11:26,640 --> 00:11:28,915
I think they just really want a clean look.

198
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:33,033
Clean? I know what clean means,
darling. I'm in the business.

199
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,993
Clean means...
It means you look like nothing.

200
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,031
You look like a little smudge.

201
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:41,789
Because some talentless misogynist
wants you to look like shit!

202
00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,238
No, no, no.

204
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:52,798
I know. It doesn't get much
better than this, I'm afraid.

205
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,194
Get off!

206
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,515
Doesn't it make you sick sometimes

207
00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:00,076
to be made to look as though
you've been dragged out of the gutter

208
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,873
or been shooting up in some toilet

209
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,436
in some soiled Agent Provocateur
ripped T-shirt?

210
00:12:07,600 --> 00:12:10,034
Oh, Erin, Erin! No! Not you.

211
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,397
Not you, Erin. Darling, not you.

212
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,318
I was just thinking back
to when we were models.

213
00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:17,919
We had to be glamorous.

214
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,918
We were goddesses. Me and Shrimpton,

215
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,759
and Twiggy, and Peggy Moffit,

216
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:26,189
Veroushka and Annegret,

217
00:12:26,400 --> 00:12:30,951
Lauren Hutton.
That was New York, Paris and Rome.

218
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,039
I've got to do the models first.
It's a mindset thing.

219
00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,559
What models?

220
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,432
It's not just those two.

221
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,236
Foale and Tuffin, mink hems

222
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,828
and patchwork panne velvet.

223
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,990
I don't think it was quite like that.

224
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,599
Annegret!

225
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,469
Come on, Patsy. Pull yourself together.

226
00:12:52,800 --> 00:12:54,677
Annegret, what's wrong with her?

227
00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,279
I don't know.

228
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,597
I employed her because
she said she was a friend of yours.

229
00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:01,039
I hardly know her.

230
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,511
- What are you doing here?
- We're doing this generation thing.

231
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,914
We?

232
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,638
But it's only moisturiser.
It's not make-up as such.

233
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,317
Erin, you look gorgeous.

234
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,318
I hope he lets me keep this top on.
It'll be freezing.

235
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:23,996
And what'll I be wearing?

236
00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,596
No! Eddie!

237
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,631
- You'll be all right.
- Eddie!

238
00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,591
I'll send up some champagne.

239
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,039
No!

240
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,598
No!

241
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:47,718
Let's have doo croissants and doo cafes.

242
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,398
Deux cafés, deux croissants.

243
00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:53,193
- That's so embarrassing.
- It's not embarrassing.

244
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:58,233
Not as embarrassing as you looking
like some tourist, darling.

245
00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:00,271
You see everything but yourself.

246
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,188
You always have the best view
because you're not looking at you.

247
00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,151
Put that away! Put that away.

248
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,553
- Where are you going?
- I'm not sitting here all day.

249
00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,989
They're going to phone us about the photo.

250
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,998
Then let's go. I want to see Paris.
I'm going on my own.

251
00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,237
You are not because you will
do a runner! I know you.

252
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,873
- What?
- Vous n'avez pas payé là haut.

253
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,389
- He wants you to pay.
- C' est pas payé là haut.

254
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:29,474
Les medames sou la scalatier pay.

255
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:32,238
I will not wear denim!

256
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,113
Ask Erin. Erin knows about me and denim.

257
00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:38,789
Champagne, champagne, pronto.
Sou scalier. Champagne.

258
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:43,799
If that bitch comes near me
with a wet wipe, I'll shove it up her arse!

259
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:46,593
Where do you want to go?

260
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:48,473
The Louvre?

261
00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:50,873
Arc de Triomphe?

262
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,433
Notre Dame?

263
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:56,472
- Seen that.
- When? I don't believe you.

264
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,158
- I saw it in London.
- What?

265
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,872
With Danii Minogue, darling.

266
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,713
The church! not the musical.
You haven't seen the church.

267
00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,114
- The church.
- Right.

268
00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:08,470
Then you'll have to follow me.

269
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:10,955
OK, girls. When I say it... Are you ready?

270
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,559
And turn!

271
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:17,432
OK. One more time.
No smiling this time. Let's do it.

272
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,073
Give me mood. Face that way.

273
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,919
Wait for me to say it and... turn!

274
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,513
Right, you.

275
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:28,269
I don't like what you're doing -
all this with your face.

276
00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:29,753
Fromage frais!

277
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:35,318
Why do we have such crap
when everything here is so nice?

278
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,876
Mm? They dress their meat
better than we dress ourselves.

279
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:42,436
You could take a lesson from that.
Dead flesh with dignity.

280
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:45,111
Dead but with dignity.

281
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,073
When I die, I want to be dressed
by a French butcher.

282
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,350
Some people think you already have been.

283
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,879
Look, darling.

284
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,719
Duck à L'orange with tangerine accessories.

285
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:56,239
We just have crap.

286
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:59,796
Patsy, you don't have to smile like that.

287
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:03,469
I wasn't smiling. I just shouldn't
be standing next to Daphne!

288
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,068
If she wasn't your friend, I'd get rid of her.

289
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,792
I hardly know her.

290
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,717
Come on! One more time.
Get with it. Face that way.

291
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,309
No smiling this time. One more.

292
00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,158
And turn.

293
00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,476
Why don't we stop somewhere?

294
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:27,593
Look, darling. People with bent legs
sitting on strange wooden artefacts.

295
00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:29,199
Café. Sit.

296
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,355
God, shops. Look, darling. Shops.

297
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,109
Those are the same shops you have
in London. You can shop in London.

298
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:39,391
I don't want to go to a French
Virgin Records or a McDonalds

299
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,476
or a Walt Disney Store!

300
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,034
We're living in a global shopping mall,

301
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,435
and you still think there's a bloody exit.

302
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,718
Little man.

303
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,276
Oh, God. Where are we going now,
darling?

304
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,596
You are allowed to walk slowly.
It's not against the law here.

305
00:16:56,720 --> 00:17:01,077
What's in your rucksack?
Crampons to conquer the Eiffel Tower?

306
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:05,078
Darling, darling, don't go so fast.
You'll lose me.

307
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,236
Lose you? They can see you from space.

308
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,476
You and the Great Wall of China.

309
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,029
Oi, Rimmer, are these two really necessary?

310
00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,114
- Oh!
- Oh!

311
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,151
Thank God for that. It is you.

312
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:19,472
What's the matter with you?

313
00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,511
You look very faint.

314
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,312
Like the photocopier is running out of ink.

315
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,597
Like you've been roneoed
and roneoed and roneoed

316
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,029
and roneoed over and over...

317
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:37,272
and this is the very last copy.

318
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:43,992
I am looking into the future
and it's not very pretty.

319
00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:54,796
Why can't we have any fun?
Why can't we go on the wheel?

320
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:56,672
Stop it! Stop moaning!

321
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:59,030
- We're going to go to the gallery.
- No.

322
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,993
And if there's a queue,
we can have a nice cup of tea.

323
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:03,872
- No. Ah...
- Sit in a nice garden.

324
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,239
Look who you've turned into.
Look who you've turned into.

325
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,512
Come along, Edwina dear.

326
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,950
One more attraction
and then it's back to the campsite.

327
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:17,832
Daddy will have the tea on.

328
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,837
The flask is quite empty now.

329
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,235
I don't like their milk.

330
00:18:22,360 --> 00:18:24,191
It's not disinfectanted.

331
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,594
Like them, dear.

332
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:29,508
Don't let them catch your eye
or they may say something to you.

333
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,679
Oh, here's your lunch.

334
00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:37,112
I would have had it filled,
but your father had the phrasebook.

335
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,474
Come along, dear.

336
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:45,319
We are sophisticated human beings,
darling. We don't need this!

337
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:48,876
All right, then.
I don't want to be like that.

338
00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:52,595
- What?
- I mean, what should we do?

339
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,429
- What?
- What would you and Patsy do?

340
00:18:58,440 --> 00:19:00,271
Oh. Well...

341
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,152
Patsy?

342
00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,795
Well, it's a city full of beautiful shops.
We'd go shopping.

343
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,629
Have a drink in a bar, go shopping,
few little things, shopping, drink,

344
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,035
shopping, drink, lunch at Costes.

345
00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:15,270
Shopping, stop for another drink,

346
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,358
then we'd go up the Eiffel Tower
and get our tits out.

347
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,831
Oh, all right, then. Let's do it.

348
00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,039
Let's do your day.

349
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:34,390
- There you go, darling. Cheers.
- Cheers.

350
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:38,399
- Cheers, sweetheart.
- Mm. It's very nice.

351
00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:39,999
That's wine, sweetheart.

352
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:42,350
Yes, I know. It's a very good Chablis.

353
00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:44,912
It's overpriced.

354
00:19:45,040 --> 00:19:46,792
- Sweetheart.
- Sorry.

355
00:19:47,960 --> 00:19:50,997
- I like these lamps.
- Yes.

356
00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,392
Don't change the house again.

357
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,475
No, I won't, darling. I won't. I won't.

358
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,636
- It is just the two of us.
- Yes.

359
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,430
Christian! Christian! Christian! Ello!

360
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,279
- I'm not wearing your clothes.
- I'm so happy.

361
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,033
That was Lacroix.

362
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,310
I know, Mum. He made my wedding dress.

363
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:14,311
Look at that Buddha, sweetheart.

364
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,159
- I wonder how it got in here.
- Do you?

365
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,435
Better not let the Taliban know it's here.

366
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,832
You put yourself in that line.
Very nice, very beautiful.

367
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:30,078
Get in order in a line simply
from youngest to oldest.

368
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:33,112
How many times do I have to explain this?

369
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:34,953
I'm 42!

370
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:36,593
You wish!

371
00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:41,350
So what makes a place "the place"?

372
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:43,553
You mean the place to be?

373
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,470
- Well, you do, darling.
- Oh.

374
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,193
No. Not you, darling.

375
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:51,868
- No, I know.
- Who goes there.

376
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,834
Buddha understands me.
Buddha understands.

377
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,711
Darling, if you have a fatwa
on you, does it make you fat?

378
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,039
No.

379
00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,753
Will you tell Patsy that?

380
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,273
Patsy?

381
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,356
Oh, Smasher Distel!

382
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,630
- Patsy Stone?
- Oi!

383
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,274
Patsy?

384
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,320
Oh, sorry. I thought
you were someone else.

386
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,917
Sh, darling. Just relax.

387
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:40,669
They know it's lovely.
They don't need you to tell them.

388
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,916
Look down your nose a little bit at it.

389
00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:45,878
Stop it.

390
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,034
Open the menu. Open the menu.
When the waiter comes,

391
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:55,438
read something off the menu,
don't ask about it. It's all good food.

392
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,713
Mesdames, bonjour.
Vous avez fait votre choix?

393
00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:01,233
Aricots verts.

394
00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,191
Vous les voulez chauds ou froids?

396
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:10,714
Je vais demander à ma mère
qu'est-ce qu'elle veut manger.

397
00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,751
- D'accord.
- Aricots verts.

398
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:14,393
I'll choose it.

399
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:18,069
Alors, ma mère va prendre
la salade aux haricots verts

400
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,236
suivie des noisettes d'agneau,

401
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:23,193
et moi je veux les champignons farcis

402
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,151
et comme entrée le risotto.

403
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,919
Et pour commencer un bon Chablis,

404
00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:31,316
et puis avec les entrées,
un Chateauneuf du Pape.

405
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:32,794
Très bien.

406
00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:36,993
C'est la première fois que
je suis ici - c'est magnifique.

407
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,439
Merci beaucoup.

408
00:22:42,600 --> 00:22:44,989
You paid for my education.
Don't look surprised.

409
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,831
- But...
- It's just a language.

410
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,632
You just have to learn it.

411
00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:52,672
It doesn't just happen
because you wear the right shoes

412
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,756
or smoke the right cigarettes.

413
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,757
It's very boring, I'm afraid.

414
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,270
Call him back and say something else.

415
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,197
- No.
- Go on, darling.

416
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,709
You sound quite interesting in French.

417
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:06,998
It suits you.

418
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,997
You should always speak French.

419
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:12,476
That's my daughter. Parler Panglais.

420
00:23:14,680 --> 00:23:16,159
- Go on.
- No.

421
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,635
 Tell me off, darling, in French.

422
00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:21,877
Go on, darling.
Go on. In French. Go on.

423
00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,274
Pardon?

424
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:27,959
I hate all these new magazine styles,
don't you?

425
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:29,957
They're so brutal...

426
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,238
and ugly.

427
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:35,352
I think they're fantastic.
I love young things.

428
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,196
Hey, Rimmer. I love what you do, babe.
What do you want next?

429
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:42,758
I want you to not touch me again.

430
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,117
- Is that nice?
- Mmm. Delicious.

431
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:53,435
Is that Stella? Darling, is that Stella?

432
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:54,913
- Who?
- Stella McCartney.

433
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,598
Oh, it's Stella.

434
00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,030
Leather, leather, leather, leather!
Get rid of my shoes.

435
00:24:06,840 --> 00:24:10,958
Oh, God. Why won't that woman
ever speak to me, darling?

436
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,799
Mum, you've got meat in your hair.

437
00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:18,797
Oooh, disgusting.

438
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,751
Never mind. I am old carcass
eating old carcass, darling.

439
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,511
What are they doing about the photo?

440
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,108
Bubble was going to call me,
wasn't she?

441
00:24:29,720 --> 00:24:30,994
Go call.

442
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,588
- I'm going to the toilet.
- to the Louvre.

443
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,075
- No, to the...
- It's a joke, sweetheart.

444
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:38,119
Mummy's little joke.

445
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,549
Quick Pompipoo in the Louvre.

446
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,470
OK. Hold the signs up. OK.

447
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,318
You - you will wear that.

448
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:54,034
If you read it, don't - you don't want to know.

449
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,559
You're second-hand cars.

450
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:59,229
It's a tableau - transversitality thing.
Young models, old models.

451
00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:01,954
Don't look at me like that. It's ironic, OK?

452
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,757
Ta da! It's not very high.

453
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,871
It's not the height. It's just the...

454
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,192
The tits out?

455
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,152
There are so many people.

456
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,032
What people? I see no people.

457
00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,674
I see no people. I see no people.

458
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,318
What's our philosophy, darling?

459
00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:30,759
- I know.
- Come on.

460
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:33,599
I'll never see any of these people ever again.

461
00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:36,678
It's our philosophy of life, darling. Come on.

462
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,439
- I'm not sure.
- Oh, sweetheart.

463
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,311
Do you know what I'm looking at here?
It's a prisoner.

464
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:46,919
You're a prisoner.

465
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:51,030
Do you know what your cage is?
Other people's eyes.

466
00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:52,912
Why do you care what they think?

467
00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:55,634
They're keeping you in this cage.

468
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,149
This is a release, sweetheart.

469
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:02,076
Do you think Patsy and I go up there
to be rude, sweetheart? No!

470
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,319
It's a release.

471
00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,316
Your tits are the key
to your cage, darling.

472
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:10,272
Keys, keys.

473
00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,879
Come on, let's go up.

474
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,275
Come on. Mummy and daughter do it.

475
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,516
Just like any old mummy and daughtie.

476
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:18,473
Go on, sweetie.

477
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,637
We'll just dump the shopping at security.

478
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,789
Come on. Dancing, dancing, dancing.

479
00:26:24,920 --> 00:26:27,150
No, not you dancing. Just me dancing.

481
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,790
Just do it. Undo the buttons.
Then we'll go to the second floor.

482
00:26:56,920 --> 00:26:59,559
I don't know if they take you
right up any more.

483
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,878
Here we are, darling.
This is a good place, isn't it?

484
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:08,437
This is a good place. Here.
There aren't many people around. Ready?

485
00:27:08,560 --> 00:27:11,757
- All right.
- Release yourself, sweetheart.

486
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,871
Are you ready? OK. here we go.

487
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,275
- Undo your buttons.
- Are you...?

488
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,153
Yes. I'm going to lift mine. Bit of a flasher.

489
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,794
Ready, ready? Ready, darling.

490
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,236
And... go!

492
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:46,191
Best notify my next of kin

493
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,914
This wheel shall explode.

494
00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:02,396
Where's your bit, darling?

495
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:05,910
Erin and I are going to do
a U.S. Exclusive. It was Erin's idea.

496
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:10,716
She loved the pictures.
What a wonderful day that was. Paris!

497
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,353
Saff?

498
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,392
Ooh! Sweetheart!

499
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,555
Darling. It's the magazine, sweetheart.

500
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:29,040
It's not as bad as you think, honestly. Look.

501
00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:31,628
They put the staples through me. Come on.

502
00:28:32,480 --> 00:28:35,438
Here it is. Here it is.
have a look at it, darling.

503
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,073
Just have a look.

504
00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:41,439
Sweetheart?

505
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:45,279
FM and Loaded want you to do a cover.

506
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:47,830
This wheel shall explode.

507
00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:55,552
Ziggy played guitar!
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