1
00:00:02,622 --> 00:00:04,557
♪ <i>Two... two, three...</i> ♪

2
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<i>Announcer: It's the Futurama
holiday spectacular,</i>

3
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,144
<i>brought to you by...</i>

4
00:00:22,154 --> 00:00:24,475
<i>Gunderson's unshelled nuts!</i>

5
00:00:25,645 --> 00:00:27,801
Ah, the Xmas season.

6
00:00:27,811 --> 00:00:29,912
Who wants a delicious
unshelled nut?

7
00:00:29,922 --> 00:00:31,153
Ooh, I'll have one!

8
00:00:34,144 --> 00:00:35,217
(Loud crack)

9
00:00:35,227 --> 00:00:36,845
Mmm! Mmm!

10
00:00:37,355 --> 00:00:39,282
It's nut so good!

11
00:00:39,801 --> 00:00:41,094
(Groans quietly)

12
00:00:41,104 --> 00:00:42,493
What's wrong, Fry?

13
00:00:42,503 --> 00:00:44,719
Are you regretting
another wasted year?

14
00:00:44,729 --> 00:00:47,360
I don't know.
Something about Xmas

15
00:00:47,370 --> 00:00:49,047
just doesn't feel like Christmas.

16
00:00:49,057 --> 00:00:50,481
(Alarm blaring)

17
00:00:50,491 --> 00:00:51,933
Santa's coming!

18
00:00:52,232 --> 00:00:53,886
Initiate defenses!

19
00:00:53,896 --> 00:01:02,848
Synch by mezzi@ITASA
www.addic7ed.com

20
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God rest ye merry gentlemen...

21
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,393
in peace.

22
00:01:12,387 --> 00:01:14,244
Can someone please explain

23
00:01:14,254 --> 00:01:16,504
how you celebrate
this crazy holiday?

24
00:01:16,663 --> 00:01:17,956
Preferably in song?

25
00:01:18,290 --> 00:01:19,689
(Others gasp)

26
00:01:19,918 --> 00:01:23,024
♪ It's the violent-est
season of the year. ♪

27
00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:25,980
♪ And Krinklebot has
come dispensing mugs ♪

28
00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:27,282
♪ of Xmas fear. ♪

29
00:01:27,292 --> 00:01:28,751
♪ Sugarplummy visions ♪

30
00:01:28,761 --> 00:01:30,470
♪ will be dancing in your head ♪

31
00:01:30,537 --> 00:01:32,314
♪ when I cane you
from the comfort ♪

32
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- ♪ of my sled. ♪
- Ow!

33
00:01:34,329 --> 00:01:37,364
♪ On Xmas Eve,
we don our gay apparel ♪

34
00:01:38,076 --> 00:01:39,345
♪ kevlar vests ♪

35
00:01:39,355 --> 00:01:41,348
♪ asbestos stockings
and a barrel. ♪

36
00:01:41,358 --> 00:01:43,049
♪ And if grandma's
Xmas fruitcake ♪

37
00:01:43,059 --> 00:01:44,775
♪ finally reaches
critical mass ♪

38
00:01:44,785 --> 00:01:46,082
♪ it can be re-gifted ♪

39
00:01:46,092 --> 00:01:47,675
♪ straight to Santa's ass. ♪

40
00:01:49,927 --> 00:01:51,889
♪ But the ornamental armaments ♪

41
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♪ are merely superficial ♪

42
00:01:53,703 --> 00:01:57,026
â™ª the tinsel and the trappings
are just icing on the missile. â™ª

43
00:01:57,036 --> 00:01:58,645
â™ª The one thing that you need â™ª

44
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♪ to make your Xmas day
splendiferous ♪

45
00:02:01,550 --> 00:02:02,842
♪ is a pine tree ♪

46
00:02:02,852 --> 00:02:05,243
♪ a pine tree
that's coniferous. ♪

47
00:02:06,140 --> 00:02:09,317
♪ We have to have a pine tree
that's coniferous! ♪

48
00:02:10,513 --> 00:02:12,078
You're welcome!

49
00:02:12,146 --> 00:02:14,447
You know, Santa may
have killed Scruffy,

50
00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:16,616
but he makes a good point.

51
00:02:16,683 --> 00:02:19,381
What we need is
an old-fashioned pine tree!

52
00:02:19,391 --> 00:02:20,604
Cram it, Virginia!

53
00:02:20,614 --> 00:02:24,190
Pine trees have been extinct
for over 800 years.

54
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,224
Leela: Professor,

55
00:02:25,292 --> 00:02:26,459
maybe there's some way

56
00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:28,528
to bring the pine trees
back to life.

57
00:02:28,595 --> 00:02:30,414
Like we did with
the barking snakes.

58
00:02:30,424 --> 00:02:32,147
(Barking)

59
00:02:32,157 --> 00:02:33,900
Pine trees aren't
barking snakes!

60
00:02:33,967 --> 00:02:37,270
They won't just turn up
in a salad at olive garden.

61
00:02:37,337 --> 00:02:38,804
But there is one hope,

62
00:02:38,872 --> 00:02:41,908
and, as usual, it's Norwegian.

63
00:02:41,975 --> 00:02:44,443
(Whirring)

64
00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,617
Passengers:
Ooh! Whoa! Oh! Whoa...!

65
00:02:55,522 --> 00:02:56,989
Behold!

66
00:02:57,057 --> 00:03:00,259
The Svalbard global seed vault!

67
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:03,196
Since 2008, the vault
has preserved seeds

68
00:03:03,263 --> 00:03:05,631
of every known plant species,

69
00:03:05,699 --> 00:03:06,866
in case of extinction.

70
00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:09,068
And I brought a few
seeds of my own.

71
00:03:09,136 --> 00:03:11,137
(Snakes barking)

72
00:03:11,205 --> 00:03:12,471
Halt! Wh... what's your business

73
00:03:12,539 --> 00:03:14,840
pokey-pokin' about
de seed vault, uh,

74
00:03:14,908 --> 00:03:17,610
guardian of mankind's precious
botanical heritage dere?

75
00:03:17,678 --> 00:03:20,746
We just want to come in
and rummage about a bit.

76
00:03:20,814 --> 00:03:23,115
Oh. So... okay.

77
00:03:24,218 --> 00:03:26,152
Yo, Abba, what's that next-door?

78
00:03:26,220 --> 00:03:27,753
(Wind rushing)

79
00:03:27,821 --> 00:03:30,256
Guard: Oh, dat's de germ
warfare repository.

80
00:03:30,324 --> 00:03:31,624
Leela: It's so close.

81
00:03:31,692 --> 00:03:34,227
Is there any chance
of cross-contamination?

82
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:36,729
No.

83
00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:40,233
Now, your pine trees
were all chopped down

84
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,634
to make emergency toilet paper

85
00:03:41,702 --> 00:03:42,935
during the 50-year squirts.

86
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:44,770
Lucky de seeds have
been preserved here

87
00:03:44,838 --> 00:03:46,239
in de vault dere.

88
00:03:46,306 --> 00:03:47,707
What's that splork on them?

89
00:03:47,774 --> 00:03:50,243
It's not germs, is it?

90
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,477
No.

91
00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:05,858
Now, that's a tree
worth chopping down.

92
00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:06,926
Indeed!

93
00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:08,394
It's a loverly tree!

94
00:04:08,462 --> 00:04:11,797
'Twill truly be my finest Xmas Ev...

95
00:04:11,865 --> 00:04:12,932
Oh!
(Tires screech)

96
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,300
Arooo!

97
00:04:14,368 --> 00:04:16,335
That's at my
poll numbers need...

98
00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:19,705
Happy voters enjoying
some holiday cheer.

99
00:04:19,773 --> 00:04:24,377
As your vice president,
I order you to steal that tree.

100
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:25,311
(Cheering)

101
00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:27,446
Nixon:
My fellow earthicans,

102
00:04:27,514 --> 00:04:30,850
welcome to the annual
White House Xmas tree lighting,

103
00:04:30,917 --> 00:04:32,551
brought to you by...

104
00:04:32,619 --> 00:04:34,387
Gunderson's nuts!

105
00:04:37,157 --> 00:04:38,658
(Electricity crackles)

106
00:04:38,725 --> 00:04:40,993
(Cheering)

107
00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:45,698
(Cracking, creaking, rumbling)

108
00:04:45,766 --> 00:04:47,667
(People gasping)

109
00:04:47,734 --> 00:04:48,834
Oh, no!

110
00:04:48,902 --> 00:04:50,770
Could the seed have
been contaminated

111
00:04:50,837 --> 00:04:53,005
by a virus from the germ vault?

112
00:04:53,073 --> 00:04:54,740
Uh, yeah, I suppose.

113
00:04:54,808 --> 00:04:56,709
Wait! This could be a good thing.

114
00:04:56,777 --> 00:04:58,177
That weaponized virus

115
00:04:58,245 --> 00:05:00,980
made the sickly little tree
grow big and strong!

116
00:05:01,048 --> 00:05:04,650
(Rumbling continues,
pine cones whizzing)

117
00:05:04,718 --> 00:05:08,054
(People gasping, yelling)

118
00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:10,690
(Yells, whimpers)

119
00:05:10,757 --> 00:05:12,625
(Rumbling stops)

120
00:05:12,693 --> 00:05:14,493
(Wood crackling)

121
00:05:14,561 --> 00:05:16,796
Wait... this could be
a good thing.

122
00:05:16,863 --> 00:05:18,664
Reforestation has begun.

123
00:05:18,732 --> 00:05:20,666
(Rumbling)

124
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,835
Aw, geez with this, hah?

125
00:05:22,903 --> 00:05:24,003
(Rumbling continues)

126
00:05:24,071 --> 00:05:27,973
(Gasping, panicked shouts)

127
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,215
(Clattering, glass shattering)

128
00:05:42,956 --> 00:05:45,191
Arguably, this could be
a good thing.

129
00:05:45,258 --> 00:05:48,160
The planet has returned
to its primeval state!

130
00:05:48,228 --> 00:05:51,797
Earth is just the way it was
before the white man came!

131
00:05:51,865 --> 00:05:53,032
(Device beeping)

132
00:05:53,100 --> 00:05:55,334
Good news!
All these pine trees

133
00:05:55,402 --> 00:05:58,371
are fighting global warming
by producing oxygen!

134
00:05:58,438 --> 00:05:59,638
Happy now, Gore?

135
00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:03,442
Yeah. But I'd be happier
if I had a set of lungs.

136
00:06:03,510 --> 00:06:05,444
(Device beeping)
Hey, wait a second!

137
00:06:05,512 --> 00:06:08,414
Oxygen levels are
rising <i>too</i> rapidly!

138
00:06:08,482 --> 00:06:09,515
Ten percent...

139
00:06:09,583 --> 00:06:11,817
20 percent...

140
00:06:11,885 --> 00:06:14,687
- 60 percent!
- As long as it doesn't hit 70.

141
00:06:14,755 --> 00:06:16,322
80 percent!

142
00:06:16,390 --> 00:06:19,158
You know, I don't recall having
done anything for a while,

143
00:06:19,226 --> 00:06:23,062
but I still feel I deserve a smoke.

144
00:06:24,097 --> 00:06:25,030
Hey, cool.

145
00:06:25,098 --> 00:06:26,866
The air's on fire.

146
00:06:26,933 --> 00:06:27,933
(Deep whoosh)

147
00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:30,336
(Explosions)

148
00:06:31,972 --> 00:06:33,906
Ho, ho, ho!

149
00:06:33,974 --> 00:06:35,708
Everyone's dead!

150
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:40,476
Stay tuned for another tale
of holiday hilarity.

151
00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,547
<i>Announcer: Now, back to the Gunderson's
nuts holiday spectacular,</i>

152
00:06:45,557 --> 00:06:47,395
<i>featuring Futurama.</i>

153
00:06:47,977 --> 00:06:50,878
Okay, crew, Xmas break is over.

154
00:06:50,946 --> 00:06:52,280
It's time to destroy

155
00:06:52,348 --> 00:06:54,249
these gifts we forgot to deliver.

156
00:06:54,316 --> 00:06:55,516
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

157
00:06:55,584 --> 00:06:58,419
How come we get off
for every dumb human holiday

158
00:06:58,487 --> 00:07:00,288
but not for robot holidays?!

159
00:07:00,356 --> 00:07:02,590
Oh, lord, not Robanukah.

160
00:07:02,658 --> 00:07:04,392
I'm talking about Robanukah!

161
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:07,562
The holiest six and a half weeks
in the robot calendar.

162
00:07:07,630 --> 00:07:10,732
Pfft! That's just a fake holiday
you make up every year

163
00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:12,233
to get out of work.

164
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:14,936
Yeah! If it's real,
how come there's no song

165
00:07:15,004 --> 00:07:16,738
that explains how to celebrate it?

166
00:07:16,805 --> 00:07:18,473
Because there is!

167
00:07:18,540 --> 00:07:20,608
- Hit it!
- Hit what?

168
00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:22,310
I placed instruments
under your seats.

169
00:07:22,378 --> 00:07:24,846
Play 'em or I'll break 'em
over your heads!

170
00:07:24,913 --> 00:07:26,614
(Lively intro plays)

171
00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:29,917
♪ Robanukah may sound
as if it's Jewish ♪

172
00:07:29,985 --> 00:07:31,786
♪ but its
ancient-sounding customs ♪

173
00:07:31,854 --> 00:07:33,588
♪ are exceptionally new-ish. ♪

174
00:07:33,656 --> 00:07:36,524
♪ So take a hearty swallow
from your robo-kiddush cup ♪

175
00:07:36,592 --> 00:07:39,794
♪ which will give me time
to quickly make them up ♪

176
00:07:39,862 --> 00:07:40,862
(belches)

177
00:07:40,929 --> 00:07:42,563
♪ Do you spin a dreidel ♪

178
00:07:42,631 --> 00:07:44,399
♪ made from Clay? ♪

179
00:07:44,466 --> 00:07:47,869
♪ Mine is called a "droidl", and
it's rigged to make you pay. ♪

180
00:07:47,936 --> 00:07:52,273
♪ Do you eat these yummy ♪
tin-wrapped chocolate coins? ♪

181
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:56,177
♪ better! We got fembots with
illegal five-speed groins! ♪

182
00:07:56,245 --> 00:07:57,512
Shalom,

183
00:07:57,579 --> 00:07:58,946
Ruth and Esther!

184
00:07:59,014 --> 00:08:01,149
Why with the music so loud?

185
00:08:01,216 --> 00:08:04,585
Would it kill them to turn up
the heat a little in here?

186
00:08:04,653 --> 00:08:08,222
♪ But by far the most
important thing is oil. ♪

187
00:08:08,290 --> 00:08:11,659
♪ To keep the lamplight burning
or to help the latkes broil? ♪

188
00:08:11,727 --> 00:08:15,496
♪ No, we pour the holy lubricant
out from the sacred vessel ♪

189
00:08:15,564 --> 00:08:18,566
♪ into this blessed pit
so they can wrestle. ♪

190
00:08:18,634 --> 00:08:22,403
♪ The extra made-up touch that
makes Robanukah so special ♪

191
00:08:22,471 --> 00:08:26,074
♪ is the oil in which
the nasty fembots wrestle! ♪

192
00:08:26,141 --> 00:08:29,210
We shall now begin
the traditional oil wrestling.

193
00:08:29,278 --> 00:08:33,247
Will the referee bring out the
ceremonial cruse of petroleum oil?

194
00:08:33,315 --> 00:08:35,116
(Chittering)

195
00:08:35,184 --> 00:08:36,818
Thank you, Abraham.

196
00:08:36,885 --> 00:08:38,386
Not in the hair, please.

197
00:08:38,454 --> 00:08:40,722
I just had it did.

198
00:08:40,789 --> 00:08:42,590
(Oilcan splutters)

199
00:08:42,658 --> 00:08:44,392
(Hollow knocking)
Aw, no!

200
00:08:44,460 --> 00:08:47,228
These broads are supposed to
wrestle for six and half weeks,

201
00:08:47,296 --> 00:08:49,364
but there's only enough
petroleum oil

202
00:08:49,431 --> 00:08:51,099
for four and a half weeks!

203
00:08:51,166 --> 00:08:52,500
(Dramatic sting)

204
00:08:52,568 --> 00:08:53,935
We're still getting paid, right?

205
00:08:54,002 --> 00:08:56,304
I told you, it's an audition!

206
00:08:56,372 --> 00:08:58,706
Bender, four and a half weeks
of oil wrestling

207
00:08:58,774 --> 00:08:59,907
sounds like plenty.

208
00:08:59,975 --> 00:09:02,577
This isn't a lousy
reformed Robanukah!

209
00:09:02,644 --> 00:09:04,779
We need more petroleum oil!

210
00:09:04,847 --> 00:09:06,981
(Ship whooshing)

211
00:09:08,217 --> 00:09:09,317
(Quiet, metallic creak)

212
00:09:09,385 --> 00:09:13,221
I got me some whale oil,
some squirrel oil...

213
00:09:13,288 --> 00:09:14,122
Not kosher!

214
00:09:14,189 --> 00:09:15,757
It has to be petroleum oil!

215
00:09:15,824 --> 00:09:17,158
Do you not give a damn

216
00:09:17,226 --> 00:09:19,627
about the hallowed
traditions of Robanukah?!

217
00:09:19,695 --> 00:09:20,995
I reckon I do not.

218
00:09:21,063 --> 00:09:24,031
Anyways, Earth done
run out of petroleum oil.

219
00:09:24,099 --> 00:09:25,199
(All gasp)

220
00:09:25,267 --> 00:09:26,768
I tried to warn you.

221
00:09:26,835 --> 00:09:29,804
One unit of free,
limitless solar power, please?

222
00:09:30,873 --> 00:09:32,373
(Deep whirring)

223
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,509
(Beeping)

224
00:09:34,576 --> 00:09:35,877
That'll be...

225
00:09:35,944 --> 00:09:37,311
I don't know, ten bucks?

226
00:09:37,379 --> 00:09:40,314
Um, can you make change
for a Nobel prize?

227
00:09:40,382 --> 00:09:44,085
Aw, man, can't we just
make more petroleum oil?

228
00:09:44,153 --> 00:09:45,753
I'm afraid not, son.

229
00:09:45,821 --> 00:09:48,156
Petroleum only forms
when organic matter

230
00:09:48,223 --> 00:09:50,224
is subjected to intense pressure

231
00:09:50,292 --> 00:09:52,493
for hundreds of millions of years.

232
00:09:52,561 --> 00:09:53,861
(Spluttering)

233
00:09:53,929 --> 00:09:55,329
I can't wait that long!

234
00:09:55,397 --> 00:09:56,597
I've got A.D.D.!

235
00:09:56,665 --> 00:09:59,033
This is so unfair!

236
00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:00,802
I don't wrestle dry, Bender.

237
00:10:00,869 --> 00:10:02,403
I went to Vassar.

238
00:10:02,471 --> 00:10:06,140
Professor, I want you to look
these poor floozies in the eye

239
00:10:06,208 --> 00:10:09,677
and tell them they're
oil-wrestling days are over.

240
00:10:16,518 --> 00:10:20,321
(Sighs) Oh... I suppose there
could be a minute quantity

241
00:10:20,389 --> 00:10:23,090
of petroleum left,
but it would be insanely deep

242
00:10:23,158 --> 00:10:25,893
within the Earth, at pressures
so dangerously high that...

243
00:10:25,961 --> 00:10:27,528
(horn honks twice)

244
00:10:27,596 --> 00:10:29,664
Let's go already!

245
00:10:29,731 --> 00:10:31,766
(Clanking, whirring)

246
00:10:31,834 --> 00:10:33,935
(Engine whooshing)

247
00:10:40,609 --> 00:10:41,776
(Rumbling)

248
00:10:41,844 --> 00:10:44,011
Setting bachman turners
to overdrive.

249
00:10:45,247 --> 00:10:46,614
We're getting pretty deep.

250
00:10:46,682 --> 00:10:48,783
(Gasps)
Look... more coffins.

251
00:10:48,851 --> 00:10:51,319
(Crunching)

252
00:10:59,261 --> 00:11:00,595
(Clattering)

253
00:11:00,662 --> 00:11:02,730
Amy: Oh, no!
We tunneled into a tunnel.

254
00:11:02,798 --> 00:11:07,168
What's that loud boring sound
you'll hear when I stop talking?

255
00:11:07,236 --> 00:11:08,669
(Professor gasps)

256
00:11:08,737 --> 00:11:11,606
It's an albino humping worm!

257
00:11:11,673 --> 00:11:13,975
Why do they call it that?

258
00:11:14,042 --> 00:11:17,178
Because it doesn't
have any pigment.

259
00:11:20,782 --> 00:11:22,483
What's our depth, Captain?

260
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,318
40 kilometers... 50...

261
00:11:24,386 --> 00:11:27,388
There must be petroleum
oil down here somewhere.

262
00:11:27,456 --> 00:11:28,823
Go deeper, deeper!

263
00:11:28,891 --> 00:11:30,291
No, Bender.

264
00:11:30,359 --> 00:11:32,393
The ship can't withstand
this much pressure.

265
00:11:32,461 --> 00:11:35,196
Sometimes it falls apart
just sitting in the hangar.

266
00:11:35,264 --> 00:11:38,165
Professor, I've never asked
for anything before.

267
00:11:38,233 --> 00:11:40,735
But seeing those fembots
glistening with oil

268
00:11:40,802 --> 00:11:43,337
means more to me than life itself.

269
00:11:43,405 --> 00:11:44,639
Oh...

270
00:11:44,706 --> 00:11:46,173
Call me an old fool,

271
00:11:46,241 --> 00:11:48,976
but I believe the Lord
is speaking through you.

272
00:11:49,044 --> 00:11:51,879
Brace yourselves, everyone!

273
00:11:54,516 --> 00:11:56,717
100 kilometers!

274
00:11:56,785 --> 00:11:58,252
Two hundred!

275
00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,921
I hate to complain
about the heat,

276
00:11:59,988 --> 00:12:02,356
but the air conditioner's on fire.

277
00:12:04,393 --> 00:12:06,127
My ice cream manwich!

278
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,501
What the hell are we doing?

279
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:14,802
We're all gonna die

280
00:12:14,870 --> 00:12:18,139
so this junkyard golem
can celebrate Robanukah!

281
00:12:18,206 --> 00:12:21,075
You vile racist.

282
00:12:21,143 --> 00:12:23,611
Haven't my people
suffered enough?

283
00:12:23,679 --> 00:12:26,113
Now keep drilling
for that petroleum oil,

284
00:12:26,181 --> 00:12:27,615
you selfish cowards!

285
00:12:27,683 --> 00:12:28,849
Although, then again,

286
00:12:28,917 --> 00:12:30,885
I guess any kind
of oil would be just as...

287
00:12:30,953 --> 00:12:32,119
(Metal crunching,
glass shattering)

288
00:12:32,187 --> 00:12:33,287
Not my fault.

289
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:37,959
♪ I am so great ♪

290
00:12:38,026 --> 00:12:39,193
♪ Bender is great ♪

291
00:12:39,261 --> 00:12:41,796
♪ Bender, Bender,
Bender, Ben... ♪

292
00:12:41,863 --> 00:12:43,431
Man, where did the time go?

293
00:12:43,498 --> 00:12:44,799
Hey, you guys wanna...

294
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,500
Oh, right.

295
00:12:46,568 --> 00:12:48,102
(Gasps)

296
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:51,772
They turned into petroleum oil.

297
00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:53,841
I thought they were selfish,

298
00:12:53,909 --> 00:12:56,911
yet in the end,
it turns out it was I

299
00:12:56,979 --> 00:12:59,013
who thought they were selfish.

300
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:03,718
(Whirring)

301
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:06,587
Hey, ladies.

302
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,122
I found some...
What the...

303
00:13:10,058 --> 00:13:11,459
There was only enough petroleum

304
00:13:11,526 --> 00:13:13,594
for four and a half
weeks of oil wrestling,

305
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,430
but it lasted 500 million years!

306
00:13:16,498 --> 00:13:18,666
It's a miracle!

307
00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:21,335
Bender:
<i>Happy Robanukah, everyone.</i>

308
00:13:21,403 --> 00:13:26,255
<i>Coming up next, more thoughtful</i>
<i>interfaith hilarity.</i>

309
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:30,816
<i>Announcer:
And now the unrelated conclusion.</i>

310
00:13:34,500 --> 00:13:36,868
(Doorbell rings)

311
00:13:36,936 --> 00:13:38,436
(All greeting)
What's up?

312
00:13:38,504 --> 00:13:41,306
Labarbara, Hermes,
happy Kwanzaa!

313
00:13:41,373 --> 00:13:42,840
We brought a chocolate cake,

314
00:13:42,908 --> 00:13:45,576
but now I'm worried that might
be offensive in some way.

315
00:13:45,644 --> 00:13:46,744
Just sit down.

316
00:13:46,812 --> 00:13:48,079
(Doorbell rings)

317
00:13:48,147 --> 00:13:50,648
Happy Kwanzaa,
brothermen and sistermen!

318
00:13:50,716 --> 00:13:53,418
Well, look at the cat
the cat dragged in!

319
00:13:53,485 --> 00:13:56,154
Kwanzaa tradition
encourages educational gifts.

320
00:13:56,221 --> 00:13:58,589
So I brought Dwight
my book on mathketball.

321
00:13:58,657 --> 00:14:00,591
Dwight:
Whoa!

322
00:14:00,659 --> 00:14:03,161
Let me see that.

323
00:14:03,228 --> 00:14:04,963
I'll sign it for you later.

324
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:07,665
Man, it's a cold one out there.

325
00:14:07,733 --> 00:14:08,933
Barbados slim?

326
00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:10,501
Come in, Barbados.

327
00:14:10,569 --> 00:14:11,636
Look at yourself,

328
00:14:11,704 --> 00:14:14,572
all throbbing and shirtless
for the holiday.

329
00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:16,774
I hope you're ready
to celebrate.

330
00:14:16,842 --> 00:14:18,977
All night long, woman.

331
00:14:20,145 --> 00:14:21,279
(Clinking)

332
00:14:21,347 --> 00:14:22,680
I'm glad you all could

333
00:14:22,748 --> 00:14:23,982
be here with my family.

334
00:14:24,049 --> 00:14:25,917
Kwanzaa traditions
are quite ancient,

335
00:14:25,985 --> 00:14:28,786
dating back
over one thousand years.

336
00:14:28,854 --> 00:14:30,121
Whoa.

337
00:14:30,189 --> 00:14:32,323
If only someone
could tell us more

338
00:14:32,391 --> 00:14:35,560
about these traditions.

339
00:14:35,627 --> 00:14:37,161
Oh, yeah!

340
00:14:37,229 --> 00:14:38,596
Hey, Kool-aid's here.

341
00:14:38,664 --> 00:14:41,065
No, child, that's not
a made-up character,

342
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,734
it's Kwanzaabot!

343
00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:45,670
And I'm-a tell y'all
how we celebrate Kwanzaa.

344
00:14:45,738 --> 00:14:47,505
Zoidberg, lay down a beat.

345
00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:50,308
How 'bout I just lay down?

346
00:14:50,376 --> 00:14:53,111
(Playing upbeat intro)

347
00:14:53,178 --> 00:14:56,948
♪ There's seven basic principles
that go to make up Kwanzaa ♪

348
00:14:57,016 --> 00:14:58,383
♪ so sit your asses down ♪

349
00:14:58,450 --> 00:15:00,485
♪ and have some knowledge
dropped upons ya. ♪

350
00:15:00,552 --> 00:15:01,919
♪ Kujichagulia ♪

351
00:15:01,987 --> 00:15:02,920
♪ and umoja ♪

352
00:15:02,988 --> 00:15:04,055
♪ and the rest ♪

353
00:15:04,123 --> 00:15:05,523
All: Now we get it.

354
00:15:05,591 --> 00:15:07,792
♪ Sit back down,
there's gonna be a test. ♪

355
00:15:07,860 --> 00:15:09,093
♪ My favorite's ujamaa ♪

356
00:15:09,161 --> 00:15:10,795
Cooperative economics.

357
00:15:10,863 --> 00:15:12,563
♪ Yo, boondocks,
I'm talkin' here ♪

358
00:15:12,631 --> 00:15:13,564
♪ put away the comics. ♪

359
00:15:13,632 --> 00:15:14,732
(trilling)

360
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,067
♪ Ku'umba is another one ♪

361
00:15:16,135 --> 00:15:17,668
♪ it stands for creativity ♪

362
00:15:17,736 --> 00:15:19,437
♪ like the
ever-changing nature ♪

363
00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:21,572
♪ of my sexual proclivities. ♪

364
00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:23,274
♪ I think there's one called nia ♪

365
00:15:23,342 --> 00:15:25,076
♪ but I don't speak Swahili. ♪

366
00:15:25,144 --> 00:15:27,979
♪ something about a pine tree
and an oil-wrestling dealie? ♪

367
00:15:28,047 --> 00:15:31,716
That's from Xmas and Robanukah
you plagiarizing lout.

368
00:15:31,784 --> 00:15:33,484
♪ Yeah, I'm kinda
losing interest here ♪

369
00:15:33,552 --> 00:15:35,286
♪ I best be rollin' out. ♪

370
00:15:35,354 --> 00:15:38,856
♪ But before I go,
the most important thing ♪

371
00:15:38,924 --> 00:15:40,291
What's that, black Santa?

372
00:15:40,359 --> 00:15:42,260
♪ You need seven
Kwanzaa candles ♪

373
00:15:42,327 --> 00:15:43,694
♪ that you light up every night ♪

374
00:15:43,762 --> 00:15:45,696
♪ but they best be
made of beeswax ♪

375
00:15:45,764 --> 00:15:47,865
♪ or y'all might as well be white ♪

376
00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:49,700
All:
They must be made of beeswax,

377
00:15:49,768 --> 00:15:52,904
or we might as well be white.

378
00:15:52,971 --> 00:15:54,772
Well, we got
no beeswax candles,

379
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:58,476
but these scented regular wax
candles will do just fine.

380
00:15:58,544 --> 00:16:02,080
Girl, those stank sticks are for
single women who take baths!

381
00:16:02,147 --> 00:16:04,916
If your Kwanzaa candles
ain't 100% beeswax,

382
00:16:04,983 --> 00:16:06,918
you bring shame on your people.

383
00:16:06,985 --> 00:16:08,686
Well, now that won't do.

384
00:16:08,754 --> 00:16:10,354
Husband, show a little ku'umba

385
00:16:10,422 --> 00:16:13,057
and fetch some beeswax
before Kwanzaa ends.

386
00:16:13,125 --> 00:16:15,359
Sweet candelabra of
la habra, labarbara!

387
00:16:15,427 --> 00:16:17,462
Isn't this the last
night of Kwanzaa?

388
00:16:17,529 --> 00:16:19,430
Who the hell knows?

389
00:16:19,498 --> 00:16:20,798
(Crickets chirping)

390
00:16:20,866 --> 00:16:24,235
Finally, a bee farm that's
open late on Kwanzaa!

391
00:16:24,303 --> 00:16:26,471
Madam, I need beeswax.

392
00:16:26,538 --> 00:16:28,573
You sure you don't need
a little honey, handsome?

393
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:32,343
Maybe a taste of sweet nectar
straight from the hive?

394
00:16:32,411 --> 00:16:33,478
(All gagging)

395
00:16:33,545 --> 00:16:36,848
I just need some beeswax
to make Kwanzaa candles.

396
00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:38,282
Well, that's too darn bad.

397
00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:40,852
There ain't no beeswax
in the whole world!

398
00:16:40,919 --> 00:16:44,188
Oh, no! This could be the
year without a Kwanzaa,

399
00:16:44,256 --> 00:16:47,125
like every year before 1966.

400
00:16:47,192 --> 00:16:48,993
The bees are acting all crazy,

401
00:16:49,061 --> 00:16:51,796
like they've been drinking
tang and cough syrup,

402
00:16:51,864 --> 00:16:53,998
or, as I call it, my Friday night.

403
00:16:54,066 --> 00:16:55,399
(Laughing hoarsely)

404
00:16:55,467 --> 00:16:56,834
(Coughing)

405
00:16:56,902 --> 00:16:58,202
My God.

406
00:16:58,270 --> 00:17:00,171
It's colony collapse syndrome!

407
00:17:00,239 --> 00:17:02,673
The bees are swarming
with parasites!

408
00:17:02,741 --> 00:17:03,875
They're all dying.

409
00:17:03,942 --> 00:17:05,877
Yeah, but what a way to go.

410
00:17:05,944 --> 00:17:07,512
Die young, leave a pretty corpse,

411
00:17:07,579 --> 00:17:09,013
that's what I say.

412
00:17:09,081 --> 00:17:10,982
You should say something else.

413
00:17:11,049 --> 00:17:13,117
Wait... I know where
we can get beeswax.

414
00:17:13,185 --> 00:17:15,486
From those giant space bees
who nearly killed us,

415
00:17:15,554 --> 00:17:17,822
and we swore we'd
never go back there!

416
00:17:17,890 --> 00:17:19,423
Let's go back there!

417
00:17:19,491 --> 00:17:21,926
(Engine whooshing)

418
00:17:23,962 --> 00:17:25,329
To communicate with the bees,

419
00:17:25,397 --> 00:17:28,199
we'll need to use these
transbumbleators.

420
00:17:28,267 --> 00:17:30,501
Bender, say something in bee talk.

421
00:17:30,569 --> 00:17:33,237
(Buzzing)

422
00:17:33,305 --> 00:17:34,572
I'm sorry, Bender.

423
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,574
What do you want me
to put on the glass?

424
00:17:36,642 --> 00:17:37,808
(Buzzing)

425
00:17:37,876 --> 00:17:40,511
Okay.
If we survive.

426
00:17:48,587 --> 00:17:49,887
Something's wrong.

427
00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:51,556
It's way too quiet.

428
00:17:51,623 --> 00:17:53,191
Like the deadly prius.

429
00:17:53,258 --> 00:17:54,792
(Buzzing approaches)

430
00:17:54,860 --> 00:17:56,694
Professor:
Ah, here they come.

431
00:17:56,762 --> 00:17:57,995
They're in attack formation!

432
00:17:58,063 --> 00:17:59,230
They're going to kill us!

433
00:18:03,802 --> 00:18:05,269
That was weird.

434
00:18:05,337 --> 00:18:08,372
It's like the Jagermeister
air show all over again.

435
00:18:12,844 --> 00:18:14,345
According to Google hive,

436
00:18:14,413 --> 00:18:16,714
we're at the exact center
of the honeycomb.

437
00:18:16,782 --> 00:18:19,717
Ooh, and there's a jamba juice
point two miles that way!

438
00:18:19,785 --> 00:18:22,286
Does that thing tell you
where the queen bee is?

439
00:18:22,354 --> 00:18:25,590
The big, fat, ugly,
compound-eyed, hairy-thorax...

440
00:18:25,657 --> 00:18:27,091
(grunts)

441
00:18:27,159 --> 00:18:29,460
Don't be applying your
euro-centric standards

442
00:18:29,528 --> 00:18:31,462
of beauty to me, fool.

443
00:18:32,998 --> 00:18:35,166
(Gasps)
What's with the kamikaz-bees?

444
00:18:35,234 --> 00:18:37,435
Man, my hive's been
going buck wild

445
00:18:37,502 --> 00:18:41,138
since these blood ganking
butt crabs moved in.

446
00:18:41,206 --> 00:18:42,807
(All groan and gag)

447
00:18:42,874 --> 00:18:44,775
Been there.
Done that.

448
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:46,344
These bees are infected,

449
00:18:46,411 --> 00:18:47,778
just like the ones on Earth.

450
00:18:47,846 --> 00:18:49,113
Brothasuckin' parasites

451
00:18:49,181 --> 00:18:51,249
gone and disrupted
our hivemind.

452
00:18:51,316 --> 00:18:53,084
Now instead of
working in harmony,

453
00:18:53,151 --> 00:18:55,519
my bees just talk
smack to each other.

454
00:18:55,587 --> 00:18:57,755
Are y'all black
with yellow stripes,

455
00:18:57,823 --> 00:19:00,091
or ya yellow with black stripes?

456
00:19:00,158 --> 00:19:02,393
Yellow with black stripes, man.

457
00:19:02,461 --> 00:19:05,963
Why don't you just move along?

458
00:19:06,031 --> 00:19:08,132
Let me ask you something.
You sting my wife?

459
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:09,667
What kinda buzzin'
question is that?

460
00:19:09,735 --> 00:19:13,571
Where do you get the wings
big enough to ask me that?

461
00:19:13,639 --> 00:19:15,606
(Buzzing)

462
00:19:15,674 --> 00:19:17,875
Okay, gang.

463
00:19:17,943 --> 00:19:19,310
We have plenty of beeswax.

464
00:19:19,378 --> 00:19:20,745
Let's get back to the ship.

465
00:19:20,812 --> 00:19:22,747
No. We are not going anywhere.

466
00:19:22,814 --> 00:19:25,449
I can't abide all
this bee-on-bee conflict.

467
00:19:25,517 --> 00:19:29,220
It's time to African-americanize
these honeybees!

468
00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:30,521
(Buzzing)

469
00:19:30,589 --> 00:19:32,023
Listen up, bees!

470
00:19:32,090 --> 00:19:34,825
It's Kwanzaa, a time of umoja.

471
00:19:34,893 --> 00:19:36,560
It means unity.

472
00:19:38,597 --> 00:19:41,332
You have to learn
to work together again!

473
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,634
The crazy tablecloth man is right.

474
00:19:43,702 --> 00:19:46,604
It's time to set aside
our differences.

475
00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:49,106
Black stripe, yellow stripe...

476
00:19:49,174 --> 00:19:50,541
At the end of the day,

477
00:19:50,609 --> 00:19:53,544
we're just a couple dern
talkin' space bees.

478
00:19:53,612 --> 00:19:55,379
Hey, forget about it.

479
00:19:55,447 --> 00:19:58,316
Come here and give me a sting.

480
00:19:58,383 --> 00:20:02,687
Look! The spirit of Kwanzaa
is killing the parasites.

481
00:20:02,754 --> 00:20:03,888
(All cheering)

482
00:20:03,955 --> 00:20:06,290
Yech! But yay!

483
00:20:06,358 --> 00:20:08,059
Thank you, my human brother.

484
00:20:08,126 --> 00:20:11,195
Your message of unity
has touched our souls.

485
00:20:11,263 --> 00:20:15,266
We are once again
of a single hivemind.

486
00:20:16,668 --> 00:20:19,236
(All muttering anxiously)

487
00:20:19,304 --> 00:20:20,204
(Crashing)

488
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:21,505
Kwanzaabot:
Oh, yeah.

489
00:20:21,573 --> 00:20:23,374
Hooray! Kwanzaabot's
here to save...

490
00:20:23,442 --> 00:20:25,576
(blow thuds)
Oh, they killed him.

491
00:20:25,644 --> 00:20:28,045
(Buzzing)

492
00:20:30,315 --> 00:20:33,284
Joyous Kwanzaa, everybody.

493
00:20:39,391 --> 00:20:40,391
(Applause)

494
00:20:40,459 --> 00:20:42,660
(Chuckling)
Don't worry.

495
00:20:42,728 --> 00:20:45,096
The <i>Futurama</i> crew will
be back next year

496
00:20:45,163 --> 00:20:46,831
with all new episodes

497
00:20:46,898 --> 00:20:48,366
featuring Bender, Leela,

498
00:20:48,433 --> 00:20:51,602
and me, Al Gore, as
Captain Lance Starman.

499
00:20:51,670 --> 00:20:52,903
And from all of us here

500
00:20:52,971 --> 00:20:55,973
at Gunderson's nuts,
happy holidays!

