1
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:23,773
MAN: It's The Futurama
Holiday Spectacular
brought to you by...

2
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,150
(READING)

3
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,612
Ah, the Xmas season.

4
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,698
Who wants a delicious
unshelled nut?

5
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,908
Ooh, I'll have one.

6
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:41,249
It's "nut" so good.

7
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:42,792
(GROANS)

8
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:46,629
What's wrong, Fry?
Are you regretting
another wasted year?

9
00:00:47,089 --> 00:00:49,173
I don't know.
Something about Xmas

10
00:00:49,258 --> 00:00:50,842
just doesn't feel
like Christmas.

11
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,385
(ALARM BLARING)

12
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:55,763
Santa's coming!
Initiate defenses!

13
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,234
God rest
ye merry gentlemen

14
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,069
in peace.

15
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:18,327
Can someone please explain
how you celebrate
this crazy holiday?

16
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:19,829
Preferably in song.

17
00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:24,959
It's the violentest
season of the year

18
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,921
When Kringle-bot
come dispensing
mugs of Xmas fear

19
00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,216
Sugar plummy
visions will be dancing
in your head

20
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:35,261
When I cane you
from the comfort of my sled

21
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,931
On Xmas Eve,
we don our gay apparel

22
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,977
Kevlar vests,
asbestos stockings
and a barrel

23
00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:46,439
And if
Grandma's Xmas fruitcake
finally reaches critical mass

24
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:49,108
It can be re-gifted
straight to Santa's ass

25
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:55,156
But the ornamental armaments
are merely superficial

26
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:58,618
The tinsel and the trappings
are just icing on the missile

27
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:03,206
The one thing that you need
to make your Xmas
Day splendiferous

28
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:07,251
Is a pine tree
A pine tree that's coniferous

29
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:11,130
We have to have a pine tree
that's coniferous

30
00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:13,549
You're welcome.

31
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:18,221
You know, Santa may
have killed Scruffy,
but he makes a good point.

32
00:02:18,430 --> 00:02:20,973
What we need is an
old-fashioned pine tree.

33
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,266
Cram it, Virginia.

34
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:25,853
Pine trees have been
extinct for over 800 years.

35
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,980
Professor,
maybe there's some way

36
00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,024
to bring the pine
trees back to life.

37
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,984
Like we did with
the barking snakes.

38
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,402
(BARKING)

39
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,822
Pine trees aren't
barking snakes.

40
00:02:35,906 --> 00:02:38,783
They won't just
turn up in a salad
at Olive Garden.

41
00:02:38,867 --> 00:02:43,204
But there is one
hope and, as usual,
it's Norwegian.

42
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:53,339
(CREW SCREAMING)

43
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:58,344
Behold!

44
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,722
The Svalbard
Global Seed Vault.

45
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:07,019
Since 2008,
the vault has preserved seeds
of every known plant species,

46
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,729
in case of extinction.

47
00:03:08,814 --> 00:03:10,565
And I brought
a few seeds of my own.

48
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:12,567
(BARKING)

49
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:16,195
Halt! What's your
business pokey-poking
about the seed vault?

50
00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,240
Guardian of mankind's
precious botanical
heritage there?

51
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:22,201
We just want to come in
and rummage about a bit.

52
00:03:22,286 --> 00:03:24,954
Oh, so... Okay.

53
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:28,457
Yo, ABBA,
what's that next door?

54
00:03:29,585 --> 00:03:32,044
That's the Germ
Warfare Repository.

55
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,296
It's so close.

56
00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:36,549
Is there any chance
of cross-contamination?

57
00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:38,259
No.

58
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,762
Now, your pine trees
were all chopped down

59
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:44,891
to make emergency toilet paper
during the Fifty-Year Squirts.

60
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,310
Lucky the seeds have
been preserved here
in the vault there.

61
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,228
What's that splork on them?

62
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:51,647
It's not germs, is it?

63
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:52,732
No.

64
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,580
Now that's a tree
worth chopping down.

65
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,333
Indeed,
'tis a lovely tree.

66
00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:13,878
'Twill truly be my
finest Xmas ever.
(SCREAMS)

67
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,088
(EXCLAIMING)

68
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,132
That's what my
poll numbers need.

69
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:21,510
Happy voters enjoying
some holiday cheer.

70
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:25,848
As your vice-president,
I order you to
steal that tree.

71
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,185
My fellow Earthicans,

72
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:32,730
welcome to
the annual White House
Xmas-tree lighting,

73
00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:36,067
brought to you by
Gunderson's Nuts.

74
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,276
WOMAN: Gunderson!

75
00:04:40,155 --> 00:04:41,697
(ALL CHEERING)

76
00:04:49,373 --> 00:04:52,416
Oh, no!
Could the seed
have been contaminated

77
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,752
by a virus from
the germ vault?

78
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,379
Yeah, I suppose.

79
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,799
Wait.
This could be a good thing.
That weaponized virus

80
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,635
made the sickly, little tree
grow big and strong.

81
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:08,975
(PEOPLE YELLING)

82
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:18,567
Wait. This could be
a good thing.

83
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,236
Reforestation has begun.

84
00:05:22,906 --> 00:05:24,573
Geez, with these...

85
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:27,535
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

86
00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,971
Arguably, this could
be a good thing.

87
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:49,932
The planet has returned
to its primeval state.

88
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:53,519
Earth is just the way it was
before the white man came.

89
00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,771
(DEVICE POWERING UP)
Good news.

90
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,691
All these pine trees are
fighting global warming

91
00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,192
by producing oxygen.

92
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,360
Happy now, Gore?

93
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:02,486
Yeah.

94
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:05,364
But I'd be happier if
I had a set of lungs.

95
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:09,952
Wait a second.
Oxygen levels are
rising too rapidly.

96
00:06:10,162 --> 00:06:14,540
10%, 20%, 60%.

97
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,292
As long as it
doesn't hit 70.

98
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,127
80%.

99
00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:21,005
You know, I don't
recall having done
anything for a while,

100
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:23,507
but I still feel
I deserve a smoke.

101
00:06:24,801 --> 00:06:25,843
(ALL GASP)

102
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,637
Hey, cool.
The air is on fire.

103
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:35,895
Ho, ho, ho.

104
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,688
Everyone's dead.

105
00:06:37,773 --> 00:06:42,651
Stay tuned for another tale
of holiday hilarity.

106
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,908
MAN: Now back to
the Gunderson's Nuts

107
00:06:49,034 --> 00:06:51,827
Holiday Spectacular
featuring Futurama.

108
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:54,914
Okay, crew.
Xmas break is over.

109
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:58,167
It's time to
destroy these gifts
we forgot to deliver.

110
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,710
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

111
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:02,254
How come we get
off for every dumb
human holiday,

112
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,423
but not for
robot holidays?

113
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:06,467
Oh, Lord.
Not Robanukah.

114
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,469
I'm talking about Robanukah,

115
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,806
the holiest six
and a half weeks
in the robot calendar.

116
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:16,352
That's just a fake holiday
you make up every year
to get out of work.

117
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,978
Yeah. If it's real,

118
00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:20,856
how come there's no song
that explains how
to celebrate it?

119
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,441
Because there is.

120
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:24,568
Hit it.
Hit what?

121
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:26,862
I placed instruments
under your seats.

122
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,864
Play them
or I'll break them
over your heads.

123
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,702
(SINGING)
Robanukah may sound
as if it's Jewish

124
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:37,832
But its
ancient-sounding customs
are exceptionally newish

125
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,001
So take a hearty swallow
from your robo-Kiddush cup

126
00:07:41,086 --> 00:07:43,712
Which will give me time
to quickly make them up

127
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:45,131
(BURPS)

128
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,716
Do you spin
a dreidel made from clay?

129
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,554
Mine is called a droid-el
and it's rigged
to make you pay

130
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,350
Do you eat these yummy,
tin-wrapped
chocolate coins?

131
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,979
Better. We got fem-bots
with illegal five-speed groins

132
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:02,898
Shalom, Ruth and Esther.

133
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:05,401
Why with the music
so loud?

134
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,821
Would it kill him
to turn up the heat
a little in here?

135
00:08:09,406 --> 00:08:12,324
By far, the most
important thing is oil

136
00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:15,870
To keep the lamp light burning
or to help the latkes broil

137
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:19,832
No, we pour the holy lubricant
out from this sacred vessel

138
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:22,918
into this blessed
pit so they can wrestle

139
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:26,630
The extra made-up touch
that makes Robanukah so special

140
00:08:26,715 --> 00:08:30,176
is the oil in which the
nasty fem-bots wrestle

141
00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:33,429
We shall now begin the
traditional oil wrestling.

142
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,308
Will the referee bring out
the ceremonial cruse
of petroleum oil?

143
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,020
Thank you, Abraham.

144
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:44,273
Not in the hair, please.
I just had it did.

145
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,111
Oh, no.

146
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,780
These broads are
supposed to wrestle for
six and a half weeks,

147
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,034
but there's only
enough petroleum oil
for four and a half weeks.

148
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,078
We're still
getting paid, right?

149
00:08:58,163 --> 00:09:00,623
I told you it's an audition!

150
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:04,084
Bender, four and a half weeks
of oil wrestling
sounds like plenty.

151
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,921
This isn't
a lousy reform Robanukah.

152
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,923
We need more petroleum oil!

153
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:17,348
I got me some whale oil,
some squirrel oil.

154
00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:20,184
Not kosher!
It has to be petroleum oil!

155
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:23,812
Do you not give a damn
about the hallowed
traditions of Robanukah?

156
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,522
I reckon I do not.

157
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,983
Anyways, Earth done run out
of petroleum oil.

158
00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,276
(ALL GASP)

159
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,195
I tried to warn you.

160
00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,739
One unit of free,
limitless solar power, please.

161
00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,664
That'll be,
I don't know, 10 bucks.

162
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,708
Can you make change
for a Nobel Prize?

163
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,379
Man, can't we just make
more petroleum oil?

164
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:50,256
I'm afraid not, son.

165
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:52,883
Petroleum only forms
when organic matter

166
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:57,972
is subjected to intense
pressure for hundreds
of millions of years.

167
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,724
I can't wait that long.
I've got ADD.

168
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:03,310
This is so unfair.

169
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,855
I don't wrestle dry, Bender.
I went to Vassar.

170
00:10:06,982 --> 00:10:10,734
Professor, I want you
to look these poor
floozies in the eye

171
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:13,529
and tell them their
oil-wrestling days are over.

172
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:26,041
I suppose there could
be a minute quantity
of petroleum left,

173
00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:28,460
but it would be insanely
deep within the Earth

174
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,629
at pressures so
dangerously high...

175
00:10:30,714 --> 00:10:31,964
(HORN HONKING)

176
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,674
Let's go, already!

177
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,105
Setting Bachman Turners
to Overdrive.

178
00:10:49,607 --> 00:10:52,985
We're getting pretty deep.
Look! Mole coffins.

179
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,333
AMY: Oh, no.
We tunneled into a tunnel.

180
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:11,378
What's that loud,
boring sound you'll hear
when I stop talking?

181
00:11:12,255 --> 00:11:15,758
FARNSWORTH: (GASPS)
It's an albino humping worm.

182
00:11:15,925 --> 00:11:17,384
Why do they call it that?

183
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:21,096
Because it doesn't
have any pigment.

184
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,685
What's our depth, Captain?

185
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,771
Forty kilometers, 50.

186
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:31,523
There must be petroleum oil
down here somewhere.

187
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,192
Go deeper. Deeper!

188
00:11:33,276 --> 00:11:36,445
No, Bender.
The ship can't withstand
this much pressure.

189
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,615
Sometimes it falls
apart just sitting
in the hangar.

190
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:42,534
Professor,
I've never asked for
anything before,

191
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,703
but seeing those
fem-bots glistening

192
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,289
with oil means more
to me than life itself.

193
00:11:49,125 --> 00:11:53,295
Call me an old fool,
but I believe the Lord is
speaking through you.

194
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,714
Brace yourselves, everyone.

195
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:00,135
One hundred kilometers.

196
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,721
Two hundred.

197
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,223
I hate to complain
about the heat,

198
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,642
but the air conditioner's
on fire.

199
00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,270
My ice cream Manwich!

200
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,112
What the hell
are we doing?

201
00:12:18,196 --> 00:12:22,324
We're all gonna die
so this junkyard golem
can celebrate Robanukah.

202
00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,536
You vile racist.

203
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:27,913
Haven't my people
suffered enough?

204
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:31,917
Now keep drilling
for that petroleum oil,
you selfish cowards.

205
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,254
Although, then again,
I guess any kind of oil
would be just as...

206
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,464
Not my fault.

207
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,720
(SINGING)
I am so great. Bender is great

208
00:12:43,888 --> 00:12:46,223
Bender, Bender, Bender

209
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:47,933
Man, where'd the time go?

210
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,686
Hey, you guys wanna...
Oh. Right.

211
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:52,563
(GASPS)

212
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:56,150
They turned
into petroleum oil.

213
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,736
I thought they were selfish,
yet in the end,

214
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:03,157
it turns out it was I
who thought they were selfish.

215
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,538
(HUMMING)

216
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,458
Hey, ladies, I found some.
What the...

217
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,917
(BOTH GRUNTING)

218
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,170
There was only
enough petroleum oil

219
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:18,255
for four and a half
weeks of oil wrestling,

220
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,049
but it lasted
500 million years.

221
00:13:21,384 --> 00:13:23,051
It's a miracle.

222
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,054
Happy Robanukah, everyone.

223
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:30,601
Coming up next,
more thoughtful,
interfaith hijinks.

224
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:37,065
MAN: And now,
the unrelated conclusion.

225
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:43,572
Hello, Fry.
Hey, Fry!

226
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:44,781
How you doing?
What's up?

227
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,618
LaBarbara, Hermes,
happy Kwanzaa.

228
00:13:47,702 --> 00:13:49,077
We brought a chocolate cake,

229
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,747
but now I'm worried that
might be offensive
in some way.

230
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,332
Just sit down.

231
00:13:54,375 --> 00:13:56,835
Happy Kwanzaa,
brother men and sister men.

232
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,671
Well, look at the cat
the cat dragged in.

233
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:02,466
Kwanzaa tradition
encourages educational gifts.

234
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,093
So I brought Dwight
my book on mathketball.

235
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,096
Whoa!
Let me see that.

236
00:14:09,641 --> 00:14:11,183
I'll sign it for you later.

237
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,602
Man,
it's a cold one out there.

238
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,020
Barbados Slim?

239
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,688
Come in, Barbados.

240
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:20,943
Look at yourself,
all throbbing and shirtless
for the holiday.

241
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:22,819
I hope you're
ready to celebrate.

242
00:14:22,904 --> 00:14:26,156
All night long, woman.
(CHUCKLES)

243
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,202
I'm glad you all could be
here with my family.

244
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:34,957
Kwanzaa traditions
are quite ancient,
dating back over 1,000 years.

245
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,375
Whoa!

246
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:40,796
If only someone
could tell us more
about these traditions.

247
00:14:41,464 --> 00:14:43,382
Oh, yeah.

248
00:14:43,466 --> 00:14:44,883
Hey, Kool-Aid's here.

249
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:47,844
No, child. That's not
a made-up character.

250
00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:49,137
It's Kwanzaa-bot.

251
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,932
And I'm gonna tell you all
how we celebrate Kwanzaa.

252
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,976
Zoidberg, lay down a beat.

253
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,395
How about I just lay down?

254
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,105
(TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING)

255
00:14:59,983 --> 00:15:03,318
(SINGING)
There's seven basic principles
that go to make up Kwanzaa

256
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,947
So sit your
asses down and have
some knowledge dropped upon ya

257
00:15:07,031 --> 00:15:08,657
Kujichagulia

258
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,242
And Umoja.
And the rest!

259
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,285
Now we get it

260
00:15:11,369 --> 00:15:13,662
Sit back down
There's gonna be a test

261
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,497
My favorite's Ujamaa

262
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:17,207
Cooperative economics

263
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:19,668
Yo, bulldog, I'm talking here
Put away the comics

264
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:24,089
Ku'umba is another one
It stands for creativity

265
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:27,801
Like the ever-changing nature
of my sexual proclivities

266
00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:31,054
I think there's one called Nia
but I don't speak Swahili

267
00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:34,558
Something about a pine tree
and an oil-wrestling deal-y?

268
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:38,186
That's from Xmas and Robanukah
you plagiarizing lout

269
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,607
Yeah, I'm kind of
losing interest here
I best be rolling out

270
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,027
But before I go,
the most important thing

271
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:46,820
What's that, black Santa?

272
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:50,324
You need seven Kwanzaa candles
that you light up every night

273
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,075
But they best be
made of beeswax

274
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,869
or you all might
as well be white

275
00:15:54,245 --> 00:15:58,373
They must be made of beeswax
or we might as well be white

276
00:15:59,375 --> 00:16:01,460
Well, we got
no beeswax candles,

277
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:05,213
but these scented
regular wax candles
will do just fine.

278
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:08,592
Girl, those stink sticks
are for single women
who take baths.

279
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:11,428
If your Kwanzaa candles
ain't 100% beeswax,

280
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,263
you bring shame
on your people.

281
00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:14,931
Well, now that won't do.

282
00:16:15,058 --> 00:16:16,892
Husband,
show a little Ku'umba

283
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,436
and fetch some beeswax
before Kwanzaa ends.

284
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,938
Sweet candelabra of
La Habra, LaBarbara.

285
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,899
Isn't this the last night
of Kwanzaa?

286
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,651
Who the hell knows?

287
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:30,572
Finally, a bee farm that's
open late on Kwanzaa.

288
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,824
Madam, I need beeswax.

289
00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:35,202
You sure you don't need
a little honey, handsome?

290
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:38,538
Maybe a taste of sweet nectar
straight from the hive?

291
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:39,748
(ALL EXCLAIM IN DISGUST)

292
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,085
I just need some beeswax
to make Kwanzaa candles.

293
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:44,670
Well, that's too darn bad.

294
00:16:44,754 --> 00:16:47,339
There ain't no beeswax
in the whole world.

295
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:50,676
Oh, no. This could be
the year without a Kwanzaa,

296
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,428
like every year before 1966.

297
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,305
The bees are
acting all crazy

298
00:16:55,390 --> 00:16:58,058
like they been drinking
Tang and cough syrup,

299
00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,186
or as I call it,
my Friday night.
(LAUGHS)

300
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:02,646
(COUGHING)

301
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,523
My God.

302
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:09,027
It's Colony Collapse Syndrome.
The bees are swarming
with parasites.

303
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,320
They're all dying.

304
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,322
Yeah,
but what a way to go.

305
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,534
"Die young,
leave a pretty corpse,"
that's what I say.

306
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:17,327
You should say
something else.

307
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:19,788
Wait. I know where
we can get beeswax.

308
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,957
From those giant space bees
who nearly killed us,

309
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:23,875
and we swore we'd
never go back there.

310
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,752
Let's go back there.

311
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,925
To communicate
with the bees,

312
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,636
we'll need to use
these trans-bumbleators.

313
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:36,847
Bender,
say something in bee talk.

314
00:17:36,973 --> 00:17:39,474
(BUZZING)

315
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:43,019
I'm sorry, Bender.
What do you want me
to put on the glass?

316
00:17:43,104 --> 00:17:44,146
(BUZZING)

317
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:46,481
Okay, if we survive.

318
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,868
Something's wrong.
It's way too quiet.

319
00:17:57,994 --> 00:17:59,828
Like the deadly Prius.

320
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:03,123
FARNSWORTH: Ah,
here they come.

321
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,459
They're in attack formation.
They're gonna kill us.

322
00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,548
That was weird.

323
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,634
It's like the
JÃ¤germeister air show
all over again.

324
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,141
According to Google Hive,

325
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,602
we are at the exact center
of the honeycomb.

326
00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:26,480
And there's a Jamba
Juice 0.2 miles
that way.

327
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,857
Does that thing tell you
where the queen bee is?

328
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:33,236
The big, fat, ugly,
compound-eyed,
hairy-thoraxed...

329
00:18:33,321 --> 00:18:35,572
Don't be applying
your Eurocentric

330
00:18:35,656 --> 00:18:37,866
standards of
beauty to me, fool.

331
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:41,620
What's with the
kamikaz-bees?

332
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:43,955
Man, my hive's
been going buck-wild

333
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,542
since these blood-ganking
butt crabs moved in.

334
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,171
Been there, done that.

335
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:54,216
They're all infected,
just like the bees on Earth.

336
00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:57,719
Brother-sucking parasites gone
and disrupted our hive mind.

337
00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,638
Now, instead of
working in harmony,

338
00:18:59,722 --> 00:19:02,140
my bees just talk
smack to each other.

339
00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:04,351
Are you all black
with yellow stripes

340
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,603
or are you yellow
with black stripes?

341
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:09,356
Yellow with
black stripes, man.

342
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,567
Why don't you just move along?

343
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,986
Let me ask you something,
you sting my wife?

344
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,655
What kind of
buzzing question is that?

345
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,991
Where do you get
the wings big enough
to ask me that?

346
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:27,499
Okay, gang.
We have plenty of beeswax.
Let's get back to the ship.

347
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,709
No, we are not
going anywhere.

348
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:32,379
I can't abide all
this bee-on-bee conflict.

349
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:35,465
It's time to
African-Americanize
these honeybees.

350
00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:41,388
Listen up, bees.
It's Kwanzaa, a time of Umoja.

351
00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:43,098
It means "unity".

352
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:47,978
You have to learn to
work together again.

353
00:19:48,062 --> 00:19:50,522
The crazy
tablecloth man is right.

354
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,108
It's time to set
aside our differences.

355
00:19:53,943 --> 00:19:56,069
Black stripe, yellow stripe.

356
00:19:56,237 --> 00:20:00,031
At the end of the day,
we're just a couple
of darn talking space bees.

357
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,242
Hey, forget about it.

358
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:03,910
Come here
and give me a sting.

359
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:09,207
Look. The spirit of Kwanzaa
is killing the parasites.

360
00:20:09,292 --> 00:20:10,333
(ALL CHEERING)

361
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:11,418
FRY: Yuck!

362
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:12,961
But, yay!

363
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,796
Thank you, my human brother.

364
00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,966
Your message of unity
has touched our souls.

365
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:21,928
We are once again of
a single hive mind.

366
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:27,934
(CRASHING)
KWANZAA-BOT: Oh, yeah.

367
00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,519
Hurray! Kwanzaa-bot's
here to save...

368
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:30,562
(SQUELCHING)

369
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,188
They killed him.

370
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,946
Joyous Kwanzaa, everybody.

371
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:47,329
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)

372
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,496
(CHUCKLING)

373
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:51,958
Don't worry.
The Futurama crew
will be back next year

374
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:56,379
with all new
episodes featuring Bender,
Leela and me, Al Gore,

375
00:20:56,464 --> 00:20:58,381
as Captain Lance Starman.

376
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:01,968
And from all of us here
at Gunderson's Nuts,
happy holidays.

377
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:38,213
ENGLISH - US - PSDH

