1
00:00:02,401 --> 00:00:04,369
♪ Two... two, three... ♪
2
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:06,738
♪ ♪
3
00:00:17,316 --> 00:00:20,185
ANNOUNCER:
It's the Futurama
Holiday Spectacular,
4
00:00:20,253 --> 00:00:22,087
brought to you by...
5
00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:27,759
Ah, the Xmas season.
6
00:00:27,827 --> 00:00:29,761
Who wants a delicious
unshelled nut?
7
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:32,063
Ooh, I'll have one!
8
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:35,200
(loud crack)
9
00:00:35,268 --> 00:00:36,501
Mmm! Mmm!
10
00:00:37,403 --> 00:00:39,404
It's nut so good!
11
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:41,106
(groans quietly)
12
00:00:41,173 --> 00:00:42,140
What's wrong, Fry?
13
00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,609
Are you regretting
another wasted year?
14
00:00:44,677 --> 00:00:46,945
I don't know.
Something about Xmas
15
00:00:47,013 --> 00:00:49,147
just doesn't feel
like Christmas.
16
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:50,515
(alarm blaring)
17
00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:51,750
Santa's coming!
18
00:00:51,817 --> 00:00:53,785
Initiate defenses!
19
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,488
(rattling, clanking, thudding)
20
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:06,264
God rest ye
merry gentlemen...
21
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,466
in peace.
22
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,772
Can someone please explain
23
00:01:13,839 --> 00:01:16,308
how you celebrate
this crazy holiday?
24
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,076
Preferably in song?
25
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,678
(others gasp)
26
00:01:19,745 --> 00:01:23,014
♪ It's the violent-est
season of the year ♪
27
00:01:23,082 --> 00:01:26,084
♪ And Krinklebot has
come dispensing mugs ♪
28
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,586
♪ Of Xmas fear ♪
29
00:01:27,653 --> 00:01:28,687
♪ Sugarplummy visions ♪
30
00:01:28,754 --> 00:01:30,055
♪ Will be dancing in your head ♪
31
00:01:30,122 --> 00:01:32,190
♪ When I cane you
from the comfort ♪
32
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:33,959
♪ Of my sled ♪
Ow!
33
00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:37,429
♪ On Xmas Eve,
we don our gay apparel ♪
34
00:01:37,496 --> 00:01:38,797
♪ Kevlar vests ♪
35
00:01:38,864 --> 00:01:40,632
♪ Asbestos stockings
and a barrel ♪
36
00:01:40,700 --> 00:01:42,500
♪ And if grandma's
Xmas fruitcake ♪
37
00:01:42,568 --> 00:01:44,169
♪ Finally reaches
critical mass ♪
38
00:01:44,236 --> 00:01:45,670
♪ It can be re-gifted ♪
39
00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:48,206
♪ Straight to Santa's ass ♪
40
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:51,409
♪ But the ornamental armaments ♪
41
00:01:51,477 --> 00:01:53,144
♪ Are merely superficial ♪
42
00:01:53,212 --> 00:01:56,681
♪ The tinsel and the trappings
are just icing on the missile ♪
43
00:01:56,749 --> 00:01:58,550
♪ The one thing that you need ♪
44
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:01,486
♪ To make your Xmas day
splendiferous ♪
45
00:02:01,554 --> 00:02:02,887
♪ Is a pine tree ♪
46
00:02:02,955 --> 00:02:05,523
♪ A pine tree
that's coniferous ♪
47
00:02:05,591 --> 00:02:09,894
♪ We have to have a pine tree
that's coniferous! ♪
48
00:02:09,962 --> 00:02:11,529
You're welcome!
49
00:02:11,597 --> 00:02:13,898
You know, Santa may
have killed Scruffy,
50
00:02:13,966 --> 00:02:16,067
but he makes
a good point.
51
00:02:16,135 --> 00:02:19,070
What we need is
an old-fashioned pine tree!
52
00:02:19,138 --> 00:02:20,338
Cram it, Virginia!
53
00:02:20,406 --> 00:02:23,642
Pine trees have been extinct
for over 800 years.
54
00:02:23,709 --> 00:02:24,676
LEELA:
Professor,
55
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:25,910
maybe there's some way
56
00:02:25,978 --> 00:02:27,979
to bring the pine trees
back to life.
57
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:30,181
Like we did with
the barking snakes.
58
00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:31,750
(barking)
59
00:02:31,817 --> 00:02:33,351
Pine trees aren't
barking snakes!
60
00:02:33,419 --> 00:02:36,721
They won't just turn up
in a salad at Olive Garden.
61
00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:38,256
But there is one hope,
62
00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:41,359
and, as usual, it's Norwegian.
63
00:02:41,427 --> 00:02:43,895
(whirring)
64
00:02:46,532 --> 00:02:51,069
PASSENGERS:
Ooh! Whoa! Oh! Whoa...!
65
00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:56,441
Behold!
66
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:59,711
The Svalbard Global Seed Vault!
67
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:02,647
Since 2008, the vault
has preserved seeds
68
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:05,083
of every known plant species,
69
00:03:05,151 --> 00:03:06,317
in case of extinction.
70
00:03:06,385 --> 00:03:08,520
And I brought a few
seeds of my own.
71
00:03:08,587 --> 00:03:10,588
(snakes barking)
72
00:03:10,656 --> 00:03:11,923
Halt! Wh-What's your business
73
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:14,292
pokey-pokin' about
de seed vault, uh,
74
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,062
guardian of mankind's precious
botanical heritage dere?
75
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:20,198
We just want to come in
and rummage about a bit.
76
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,567
Oh. So... okay.
77
00:03:23,669 --> 00:03:25,603
Yo, Abba, what's
that next-door?
78
00:03:25,671 --> 00:03:27,205
(wind rushing)
79
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,708
GUARD: Oh, dat's de germ
warfare repository.
80
00:03:29,775 --> 00:03:31,076
LEELA:
It's so close.
81
00:03:31,143 --> 00:03:33,678
Is there any chance
of cross-contamination?
82
00:03:34,547 --> 00:03:36,181
No.
83
00:03:37,783 --> 00:03:39,684
Now, your pine trees
were all chopped down
84
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:41,086
to make emergency
toilet paper
85
00:03:41,153 --> 00:03:42,420
during the 50-Year Squirts.
86
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:44,255
Lucky de seeds have
been preserved here
87
00:03:44,323 --> 00:03:45,724
in de vault dere.
88
00:03:45,791 --> 00:03:47,192
What's that
splork on them?
89
00:03:47,259 --> 00:03:49,728
It's not germs, is it?
90
00:03:49,795 --> 00:03:50,962
No.
91
00:04:02,775 --> 00:04:05,343
Now, that's a tree
worth chopping down.
92
00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:06,411
Indeed!
93
00:04:06,479 --> 00:04:07,879
It's a loverly tree!
94
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:11,282
'Twill truly be
my finest Xmas ev...
95
00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:12,417
Oh!
(tires screech)
96
00:04:12,485 --> 00:04:13,818
Arooo!
97
00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:15,854
That's what my
poll numbers need--
98
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:19,224
happy voters enjoying
some holiday cheer.
99
00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:23,895
As your vice president,
I order you to steal that tree.
100
00:04:23,963 --> 00:04:24,829
(cheering)
101
00:04:24,897 --> 00:04:26,965
NIXON:
My fellow Earthicans,
102
00:04:27,032 --> 00:04:30,368
welcome to the annual
White House Xmas tree lighting,
103
00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:32,070
brought to you by...
104
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:33,905
Gunderson's Nuts!
105
00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:38,176
(electricity crackles)
106
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,512
(cheering)
107
00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:45,216
(cracking, creaking, rumbling)
108
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:47,185
(people gasping)
109
00:04:47,253 --> 00:04:48,353
Oh, no!
110
00:04:48,420 --> 00:04:50,288
Could the seed have
been contaminated
111
00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:52,524
by a virus from
the germ vault?
112
00:04:52,591 --> 00:04:54,259
Uh, yeah, I suppose.
113
00:04:54,326 --> 00:04:56,227
Wait! This could
be a good thing.
114
00:04:56,295 --> 00:04:57,695
That weaponized virus
115
00:04:57,763 --> 00:05:00,498
made the sickly little tree
grow big and strong!
116
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:04,169
(rumbling continues,
pine cones whizzing)
117
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:07,572
(people gasping, yelling)
118
00:05:09,074 --> 00:05:10,208
(yells, whimpers)
119
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,143
(rumbling stops)
120
00:05:12,211 --> 00:05:14,012
(wood crackling)
121
00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:16,314
Wait-- this could be
a good thing.
122
00:05:16,382 --> 00:05:18,183
Reforestation has begun.
123
00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:20,185
(rumbling)
124
00:05:20,252 --> 00:05:22,353
Aw, geez with this, hah?
125
00:05:22,421 --> 00:05:23,521
(rumbling continues)
126
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:27,492
(gasping, panicked shouts)
127
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,895
♪ ♪
128
00:05:32,798 --> 00:05:35,733
(clattering, glass shattering)
129
00:05:42,474 --> 00:05:44,709
Arguably, this could be
a good thing.
130
00:05:44,777 --> 00:05:47,679
The planet has returned
to its primeval state!
131
00:05:47,746 --> 00:05:51,316
Earth is just the way it was
before the white man came!
132
00:05:51,383 --> 00:05:52,550
(device beeping)
133
00:05:52,618 --> 00:05:54,853
Good news!
All these pine trees
134
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,889
are fighting global warming
by producing oxygen!
135
00:05:57,957 --> 00:05:59,157
Happy now, Gore?
136
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:02,961
Yeah. But I'd be happier
if I had a set of lungs.
137
00:06:03,028 --> 00:06:04,963
(device beeping)
Hey, wait a second!
138
00:06:05,030 --> 00:06:07,932
Oxygen levels are
rising too rapidly!
139
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,033
Ten percent...
140
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:11,336
20 percent...
141
00:06:11,403 --> 00:06:14,205
60 percent!
As long as it
doesn't hit 70.
142
00:06:14,273 --> 00:06:15,840
80 percent!
143
00:06:15,908 --> 00:06:18,676
You know, I don't recall
having done anything
for a while,
144
00:06:18,744 --> 00:06:22,580
but I still feel
I deserve a smoke.
145
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:24,549
Hey, cool.
146
00:06:24,617 --> 00:06:26,384
The air's on fire.
147
00:06:26,452 --> 00:06:27,452
(deep whoosh)
148
00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:29,854
(explosions)
149
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:33,424
Ho, ho, ho!
150
00:06:33,492 --> 00:06:35,226
Everyone's dead!
151
00:06:35,294 --> 00:06:39,998
Stay tuned for another tale
of holiday hilarity.
152
00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:47,271
Now back to the Gunderson's Nuts
Holiday Spectacular Featuring Futurama
153
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:51,342
Okay, crew, Xmas
break is over.
154
00:06:51,410 --> 00:06:52,743
It's time to destroy
155
00:06:52,811 --> 00:06:54,678
these gifts
we forgot to deliver.
156
00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:55,946
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
157
00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:58,849
How come we get off
for every dumb human holiday
158
00:06:58,917 --> 00:07:00,718
but not for robot holidays?!
159
00:07:00,786 --> 00:07:03,020
Oh, Lord, not Robanukah.
160
00:07:03,088 --> 00:07:04,822
I'm talking about Robanukah!
161
00:07:04,890 --> 00:07:07,992
The holiest six and a half weeks
in the robot calendar.
162
00:07:08,059 --> 00:07:11,162
Pfft! That's just a fake holiday
you make up every year
163
00:07:11,229 --> 00:07:12,663
to get out of work.
164
00:07:12,731 --> 00:07:15,366
Yeah! If it's real,
how come there's no song
165
00:07:15,434 --> 00:07:17,168
that explains how
to celebrate it?
166
00:07:17,235 --> 00:07:18,903
Because there is!
167
00:07:18,970 --> 00:07:21,038
Hit it!
Hit what?
168
00:07:21,106 --> 00:07:22,740
I placed instruments
under your seats.
169
00:07:22,808 --> 00:07:25,276
Play 'em or I'll break 'em
over your heads!
170
00:07:25,343 --> 00:07:27,044
(lively intro plays)
171
00:07:27,112 --> 00:07:30,347
♪ Robanukah may sound
as if it's Jewish ♪
172
00:07:30,415 --> 00:07:32,216
♪ But its
ancient-sounding customs ♪
173
00:07:32,284 --> 00:07:34,018
♪ Are exceptionally new-ish ♪
174
00:07:34,085 --> 00:07:36,954
♪ So take a hearty swallow
from your robo-kiddush cup ♪
175
00:07:37,022 --> 00:07:40,224
♪ Which will give me time
to quickly make them up ♪
176
00:07:40,292 --> 00:07:41,292
(belches)
177
00:07:41,359 --> 00:07:42,993
♪ Do you spin a dreidel ♪
178
00:07:43,061 --> 00:07:44,829
♪ Made from clay? ♪
179
00:07:44,896 --> 00:07:48,299
♪ Mine is called a "droidl," and
it's rigged to make you pay ♪
180
00:07:48,366 --> 00:07:52,703
♪ Do you eat these yummy ♪
tin-wrapped chocolate coins? ♪
181
00:07:52,771 --> 00:07:56,607
♪ Better! We got fembots with
illegal five-speed groins! ♪
182
00:07:56,675 --> 00:07:57,942
Shalom,
183
00:07:58,009 --> 00:07:59,376
Ruth and Esther!
184
00:07:59,444 --> 00:08:01,579
Why with the music
so loud?
185
00:08:01,646 --> 00:08:05,015
Would it kill them to turn up
the heat a little in here?
186
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:08,652
♪ But by far the most
important thing is oil ♪
187
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:12,089
♪ To keep the lamplight burning
or to help the latkes broil? ♪
188
00:08:12,157 --> 00:08:15,926
♪ No, we pour the holy lubricant
out from the sacred vessel ♪
189
00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:19,063
♪ Into this blessed pit
so they can wrestle ♪
190
00:08:19,130 --> 00:08:22,900
♪ The extra made-up touch that
makes Robanukah so special ♪
191
00:08:22,968 --> 00:08:26,570
♪ Is the oil in which
the nasty fembots wrestle! ♪
192
00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:29,707
We shall now begin
the traditional oil wrestling.
193
00:08:29,774 --> 00:08:33,744
Will the referee bring out
the ceremonial cruse
of petroleum oil?
194
00:08:33,812 --> 00:08:35,613
(chittering)
195
00:08:35,680 --> 00:08:37,314
Thank you, Abraham.
196
00:08:37,382 --> 00:08:38,883
Not in the hair, please.
197
00:08:38,950 --> 00:08:41,218
I just had it did.
198
00:08:41,286 --> 00:08:43,087
(oilcan splutters)
199
00:08:43,154 --> 00:08:44,889
(hollow knocking)
Aw, no!
200
00:08:44,956 --> 00:08:47,725
These broads are supposed to
wrestle for six and half weeks,
201
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:49,860
but there's only enough
petroleum oil
202
00:08:49,928 --> 00:08:51,595
for four and a half weeks!
203
00:08:51,663 --> 00:08:52,997
(dramatic sting)
204
00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:54,431
We're still getting paid, right?
205
00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:56,800
I told you, it's an audition!
206
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:59,203
Bender, four and a half weeks
of oil wrestling
207
00:08:59,271 --> 00:09:00,404
sounds like plenty.
208
00:09:00,472 --> 00:09:03,073
This isn't a lousy
reformed Robanukah!
209
00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:05,276
We need more petroleum oil!
210
00:09:05,343 --> 00:09:07,478
(ship whooshing)
211
00:09:08,713 --> 00:09:09,813
(quiet, metallic creak)
212
00:09:09,881 --> 00:09:13,717
I got me some whale oil,
some squirrel oil...
213
00:09:13,785 --> 00:09:14,618
Not kosher!
214
00:09:14,686 --> 00:09:16,253
It has to be
petroleum oil!
215
00:09:16,321 --> 00:09:17,655
Do you not give a damn
216
00:09:17,722 --> 00:09:20,124
about the hallowed
traditions of Robanukah?!
217
00:09:20,191 --> 00:09:21,492
I reckon I do not.
218
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,528
Anyways, Earth done
run out of petroleum oil.
219
00:09:24,596 --> 00:09:25,696
(all gasp)
220
00:09:25,764 --> 00:09:27,264
I tried to warn you.
221
00:09:27,332 --> 00:09:30,301
One unit of free,
limitless solar power, please?
222
00:09:31,369 --> 00:09:32,870
(deep whirring)
223
00:09:32,938 --> 00:09:35,005
(beeping)
224
00:09:35,073 --> 00:09:36,373
That'll be...
225
00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:37,808
I don't know, ten bucks?
226
00:09:37,876 --> 00:09:40,811
Um, can you make change
for a Nobel Prize?
227
00:09:40,879 --> 00:09:44,582
Aw, man, can't we just
make more petroleum oil?
228
00:09:44,649 --> 00:09:46,250
I'm afraid
not, son.
229
00:09:46,318 --> 00:09:48,652
Petroleum only forms
when organic matter
230
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,721
is subjected to
intense pressure
231
00:09:50,789 --> 00:09:52,990
for hundreds of
millions of years.
232
00:09:53,058 --> 00:09:54,358
(spluttering)
233
00:09:54,426 --> 00:09:55,826
I can't wait that long!
234
00:09:55,894 --> 00:09:57,094
I've got A.D.D.!
235
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:59,530
This is so unfair!
236
00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,298
I don't wrestle
dry, Bender.
237
00:10:01,366 --> 00:10:02,900
I went to Vassar.
238
00:10:02,968 --> 00:10:06,637
Professor, I want you
to look these poor
floozies in the eye
239
00:10:06,705 --> 00:10:10,174
and tell them they're
oil-wrestling days are over.
240
00:10:17,015 --> 00:10:20,818
(sighs) Oh... I suppose there
could be a minute quantity
241
00:10:20,885 --> 00:10:23,587
of petroleum left,
but it would be insanely deep
242
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:26,423
within the Earth, at pressures
so dangerously high that--
243
00:10:26,491 --> 00:10:28,058
(horn honks twice)
244
00:10:28,126 --> 00:10:30,194
Let's go already!
245
00:10:30,261 --> 00:10:32,262
(clanking, whirring)
246
00:10:32,330 --> 00:10:34,465
(engine whooshing)
247
00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:42,306
(rumbling)
248
00:10:42,374 --> 00:10:44,541
Setting Bachman turners
to overdrive.
249
00:10:45,777 --> 00:10:47,144
We're getting pretty deep.
250
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:49,313
(gasps)
Look-- more coffins.
251
00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:51,849
(crunching)
252
00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:01,125
(clattering)
253
00:11:01,192 --> 00:11:03,260
AMY: Oh, no!
We tunneled into a tunnel.
254
00:11:03,328 --> 00:11:07,698
What's that loud boring sound
you'll hear when I stop talking?
255
00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:09,199
(Professor gasps)
256
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:12,136
It's an albino humping worm!
257
00:11:12,203 --> 00:11:14,505
Why do they
call it that?
258
00:11:14,572 --> 00:11:17,708
Because it doesn't
have any pigment.
259
00:11:21,312 --> 00:11:23,013
What's our
depth, Captain?
260
00:11:23,081 --> 00:11:24,848
40 kilometers... 50...
261
00:11:24,916 --> 00:11:27,918
There must be petroleum
oil down here somewhere.
262
00:11:27,986 --> 00:11:29,353
Go deeper, deeper!
263
00:11:29,421 --> 00:11:30,821
No, Bender.
264
00:11:30,889 --> 00:11:32,923
The ship can't withstand
this much pressure.
265
00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:35,726
Sometimes it falls apart
just sitting in the hangar.
266
00:11:35,794 --> 00:11:38,696
Professor, I've never asked
for anything before.
267
00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:41,265
But seeing those fembots
glistening with oil
268
00:11:41,332 --> 00:11:43,867
means more to me
than life itself.
269
00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:45,169
Oh...
270
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:46,704
Call me an old fool,
271
00:11:46,771 --> 00:11:49,506
but I believe the Lord
is speaking through you.
272
00:11:49,574 --> 00:11:52,409
Brace yourselves,
everyone!
273
00:11:55,046 --> 00:11:57,247
100 kilometers!
274
00:11:57,315 --> 00:11:58,782
Two hundred!
275
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,451
I hate to complain
about the heat,
276
00:12:00,518 --> 00:12:02,886
but the air
conditioner's on fire.
277
00:12:04,923 --> 00:12:06,657
My ice cream manwich!
278
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:14,031
What the hell
are we doing?
279
00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:15,332
We're all gonna die
280
00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:18,669
so this junkyard golem
can celebrate Robanukah!
281
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:21,605
You vile racist.
282
00:12:21,673 --> 00:12:24,141
Haven't my people
suffered enough?
283
00:12:24,209 --> 00:12:26,643
Now keep drilling
for that petroleum oil,
284
00:12:26,711 --> 00:12:28,145
you selfish cowards!
285
00:12:28,213 --> 00:12:29,379
Although, then again,
286
00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:31,415
I guess any kind
of oil would be just as...
287
00:12:31,483 --> 00:12:32,649
(metal crunching,
glass shattering)
288
00:12:32,717 --> 00:12:33,817
Not my fault.
289
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:38,489
♪ I am so great ♪
290
00:12:38,556 --> 00:12:39,723
♪ Bender is great ♪
291
00:12:39,791 --> 00:12:42,326
♪ Bender, Bender,
Bender, Ben-- ♪
292
00:12:42,393 --> 00:12:43,961
Man, where did the time go?
293
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:45,329
Hey, you guys wanna--
294
00:12:45,396 --> 00:12:47,030
Oh, right.
295
00:12:47,098 --> 00:12:48,632
(gasps)
296
00:12:48,700 --> 00:12:52,302
They turned
into petroleum oil.
297
00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,371
I thought they were selfish,
298
00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:57,441
yet in the end,
it turns out it was I
299
00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,543
who thought
they were selfish.
300
00:13:01,813 --> 00:13:04,248
(whirring)
301
00:13:05,850 --> 00:13:07,117
Hey, ladies.
302
00:13:07,185 --> 00:13:08,652
I found some--
What the...
303
00:13:10,588 --> 00:13:11,989
There was only
enough petroleum
304
00:13:12,056 --> 00:13:14,124
for four and a half
weeks of oil wrestling,
305
00:13:14,192 --> 00:13:16,960
but it lasted
500 million years!
306
00:13:17,028 --> 00:13:19,196
It's a miracle!
307
00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:21,865
BENDER:
Happy Robanukah, everyone.
308
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:26,503
Coming up next, more thoughtful
interfaith hilarity.
309
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,181
(doorbell rings)
310
00:13:37,248 --> 00:13:38,749
(all greeting)
What's up?
311
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:41,618
LaBarbara, Hermes,
happy Kwanzaa!
312
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:43,153
We brought
a chocolate cake,
313
00:13:43,221 --> 00:13:45,889
but now I'm worried that might
be offensive in some way.
314
00:13:45,957 --> 00:13:47,057
Just sit down.
315
00:13:47,125 --> 00:13:48,392
(doorbell rings)
316
00:13:48,459 --> 00:13:50,961
Happy Kwanzaa,
brothermen and sistermen!
317
00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:53,730
Well, look at the cat
the cat dragged in!
318
00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:56,466
Kwanzaa tradition
encourages educational gifts.
319
00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:58,902
So I brought Dwight
my book on Mathketball.
320
00:13:58,970 --> 00:14:00,904
DWIGHT:
Whoa!
321
00:14:00,972 --> 00:14:03,473
Let me see that.
322
00:14:03,541 --> 00:14:05,275
I'll sign it
for you later.
323
00:14:05,343 --> 00:14:07,978
Man, it's a cold
one out there.
324
00:14:08,046 --> 00:14:09,246
Barbados Slim?
325
00:14:09,314 --> 00:14:10,814
Come in, Barbados.
326
00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:11,949
Look at yourself,
327
00:14:12,016 --> 00:14:14,885
all throbbing and shirtless
for the holiday.
328
00:14:14,953 --> 00:14:17,087
I hope you're ready
to celebrate.
329
00:14:17,155 --> 00:14:19,323
All night long, woman.
330
00:14:20,491 --> 00:14:21,625
(clinking)
331
00:14:21,693 --> 00:14:23,026
I'm glad you all could
332
00:14:23,094 --> 00:14:24,328
be here with my family.
333
00:14:24,395 --> 00:14:26,263
Kwanzaa traditions
are quite ancient,
334
00:14:26,331 --> 00:14:29,132
dating back
over one thousand years.
335
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,467
Whoa.
336
00:14:30,535 --> 00:14:32,669
If only someone
could tell us more
337
00:14:32,737 --> 00:14:35,906
about these traditions.
338
00:14:35,974 --> 00:14:37,507
Oh, yeah!
339
00:14:38,075 --> 00:14:39,442
Hey, Kool-Aid's here.
340
00:14:39,510 --> 00:14:41,911
No, child,
that's not a made-up character,
341
00:14:41,979 --> 00:14:43,580
It's Kwanzaabot!
342
00:14:43,647 --> 00:14:46,516
And I'm-a tell y'all
how we celebrate Kwanzaa.
343
00:14:46,584 --> 00:14:48,351
Zoidberg,
lay down a beat.
344
00:14:48,419 --> 00:14:51,154
How 'bout I
just lay down?
345
00:14:51,222 --> 00:14:53,957
(playing upbeat intro)
346
00:14:54,024 --> 00:14:57,794
♪ There's seven basic principles
that go to make up Kwanzaa ♪
347
00:14:57,862 --> 00:14:59,229
♪ So sit your asses down ♪
348
00:14:59,296 --> 00:15:01,331
♪ And have some knowledge
dropped upons ya ♪
349
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:02,766
♪ Kujichagulia ♪
350
00:15:02,833 --> 00:15:03,767
♪ And Umoja ♪
351
00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:04,901
♪ And the rest ♪
352
00:15:04,969 --> 00:15:06,369
ALL:
Now we get it.
353
00:15:06,437 --> 00:15:08,638
♪ Sit back down,
there's gonna be a test ♪
354
00:15:08,706 --> 00:15:09,939
♪ My favorite's Ujamaa ♪
355
00:15:10,007 --> 00:15:11,641
Cooperative
economics.
356
00:15:11,709 --> 00:15:13,410
♪ Yo, Boondocks,
I'm talkin' here ♪
357
00:15:13,477 --> 00:15:14,411
♪ Put away the comics ♪
358
00:15:14,478 --> 00:15:15,578
(trilling)
359
00:15:15,646 --> 00:15:16,913
♪ Ku'umba is another one ♪
360
00:15:16,981 --> 00:15:18,515
♪ It stands for creativity ♪
361
00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:20,283
♪ Like the
ever-changing nature ♪
362
00:15:20,351 --> 00:15:22,419
♪ Of my sexual
proclivities ♪
363
00:15:22,486 --> 00:15:24,154
♪ I think there's one called
Nia ♪
364
00:15:24,221 --> 00:15:25,955
♪ But I don't speak Swahili ♪
365
00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:28,858
♪ Something about a pine tree
and an oil-wrestling dealie? ♪
366
00:15:28,926 --> 00:15:32,595
That's from Xmas and Robanukah
you plagiarizing lout.
367
00:15:32,663 --> 00:15:34,364
♪ Yeah, I'm kinda
losing interest here ♪
368
00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:36,166
♪ I best be rollin' out ♪
369
00:15:36,233 --> 00:15:39,736
♪ But before I go,
the most important thing ♪
370
00:15:39,804 --> 00:15:41,171
What's that,
black Santa?
371
00:15:41,238 --> 00:15:43,139
♪ You need seven
Kwanzaa candles ♪
372
00:15:43,207 --> 00:15:44,574
♪ That you light up
every night ♪
373
00:15:44,642 --> 00:15:46,576
♪ But they best be
made of beeswax ♪
374
00:15:46,644 --> 00:15:48,745
♪ Or y'all might
as well be white ♪
375
00:15:48,813 --> 00:15:50,580
ALL:
They must be made of beeswax,
376
00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:53,783
or we might as well be white.
377
00:15:53,851 --> 00:15:55,652
Well, we got
no beeswax candles,
378
00:15:55,719 --> 00:15:59,355
but these scented regular wax
candles will do just fine.
379
00:15:59,423 --> 00:16:02,959
Girl, those stank sticks are for
single women who take baths!
380
00:16:03,027 --> 00:16:05,795
If your Kwanzaa candles
ain't 100% beeswax,
381
00:16:05,863 --> 00:16:07,797
you bring shame
on your people.
382
00:16:07,865 --> 00:16:09,566
Well, now that won't do.
383
00:16:09,633 --> 00:16:11,234
Husband, show
a little ku'umba
384
00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:13,937
and fetch some beeswax
before Kwanzaa ends.
385
00:16:14,004 --> 00:16:16,239
Sweet candelabra of
La Habra, LaBarbara!
386
00:16:16,307 --> 00:16:18,341
Isn't this the last
night of Kwanzaa?
387
00:16:18,409 --> 00:16:20,310
Who the hell knows?
388
00:16:20,377 --> 00:16:21,678
(crickets chirping)
389
00:16:21,745 --> 00:16:25,114
Finally, a bee farm that's
open late on Kwanzaa!
390
00:16:25,182 --> 00:16:27,350
Madam, I need beeswax.
391
00:16:27,418 --> 00:16:29,452
You sure you don't need
a little honey, handsome?
392
00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:33,223
Maybe a taste of sweet nectar
straight from the hive?
393
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,357
(all gagging)
394
00:16:34,425 --> 00:16:37,727
I just need some beeswax
to make Kwanzaa candles.
395
00:16:37,795 --> 00:16:39,162
Well, that's too darn bad.
396
00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:41,731
There ain't no beeswax
in the whole world!
397
00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:45,068
Oh, no! This could be the
year without a Kwanzaa,
398
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:48,004
like every year
before 1966.
399
00:16:48,072 --> 00:16:49,873
The bees are
acting all crazy,
400
00:16:49,940 --> 00:16:52,675
like they've been drinking
Tang and cough syrup,
401
00:16:52,743 --> 00:16:54,878
or, as I call it,
my Friday night.
402
00:16:54,945 --> 00:16:56,279
(laughing hoarsely)
403
00:16:56,347 --> 00:16:57,714
(coughing)
404
00:16:57,781 --> 00:16:59,082
My God.
405
00:16:59,149 --> 00:17:01,050
It's colony
collapse syndrome!
406
00:17:01,118 --> 00:17:03,553
The bees are swarming
with parasites!
407
00:17:03,621 --> 00:17:04,754
They're all dying.
408
00:17:04,822 --> 00:17:06,756
Yeah, but
what a way to go.
409
00:17:06,824 --> 00:17:08,391
Die young,
leave a pretty corpse,
410
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:09,893
that's what I say.
411
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,861
You should say
something else.
412
00:17:11,929 --> 00:17:13,997
Wait-- I know where
we can get beeswax.
413
00:17:14,064 --> 00:17:16,366
From those giant space bees
who nearly killed us,
414
00:17:16,433 --> 00:17:18,701
and we swore we'd
never go back there!
415
00:17:18,769 --> 00:17:20,303
Let's go back there!
416
00:17:20,371 --> 00:17:22,805
(engine whooshing)
417
00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:26,209
To communicate
with the bees,
418
00:17:26,277 --> 00:17:29,078
we'll need to use these
transbumbleators.
419
00:17:29,146 --> 00:17:31,381
Bender, say something
in bee talk.
420
00:17:31,448 --> 00:17:34,117
(buzzing)
421
00:17:34,184 --> 00:17:35,451
I'm sorry, Bender.
422
00:17:35,519 --> 00:17:37,453
What do you want me
to put on the glass?
423
00:17:37,521 --> 00:17:38,688
(buzzing)
424
00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:41,391
Okay.
If we survive.
425
00:17:49,466 --> 00:17:50,767
Something's wrong.
426
00:17:50,834 --> 00:17:52,435
It's way too quiet.
427
00:17:52,503 --> 00:17:54,070
Like the deadly Prius.
428
00:17:54,138 --> 00:17:55,672
(buzzing approaches)
429
00:17:55,739 --> 00:17:57,574
PROFESSOR:
Ah, here they come.
430
00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:58,875
They're in attack formation!
431
00:17:58,943 --> 00:18:00,109
They're going to kill us!
432
00:18:04,682 --> 00:18:06,149
That was weird.
433
00:18:06,216 --> 00:18:09,252
It's like the Jagermeister
Air Show all over again.
434
00:18:13,724 --> 00:18:15,224
According to Google Hive,
435
00:18:15,292 --> 00:18:17,594
we're at the exact center
of the honeycomb.
436
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:20,597
Ooh, and there's a Jamba Juice
point two miles that way!
437
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:23,166
Does that thing tell you
where the Queen Bee is?
438
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:26,469
The big, fat, ugly,
compound-eyed, hairy-thorax--
439
00:18:26,537 --> 00:18:27,971
(grunts)
440
00:18:28,038 --> 00:18:30,340
Don't be applying your
Euro-centric standards
441
00:18:30,407 --> 00:18:32,342
of beauty to me, fool.
442
00:18:33,877 --> 00:18:36,045
(gasps)
What's with the kamikaz-bees?
443
00:18:36,113 --> 00:18:38,314
Man, my hive's been
going buck wild
444
00:18:38,382 --> 00:18:42,018
since these blood ganking
butt crabs moved in.
445
00:18:42,086 --> 00:18:43,686
(all groan and gag)
446
00:18:43,754 --> 00:18:45,655
Been there.
Done that.
447
00:18:45,723 --> 00:18:47,223
These bees are infected,
448
00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:48,658
just like
the ones on Earth.
449
00:18:48,726 --> 00:18:49,993
Brothasuckin' parasites
450
00:18:50,060 --> 00:18:52,128
gone and disrupted
our hivemind.
451
00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:53,963
Now instead of
working in harmony,
452
00:18:54,031 --> 00:18:56,399
my bees just talk
smack to each other.
453
00:18:56,467 --> 00:18:58,635
Are y'all black
with yellow stripes,
454
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,970
or ya yellow
with black stripes?
455
00:19:01,038 --> 00:19:03,272
Yellow with black stripes, man.
456
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:06,843
Why don't you
just move along?
457
00:19:06,910 --> 00:19:09,012
Let me ask you something.
You sting my wife?
458
00:19:09,079 --> 00:19:10,580
What kinda buzzin'
question is that?
459
00:19:10,648 --> 00:19:14,484
Where do you get the wings
big enough to ask me that?
460
00:19:14,551 --> 00:19:16,519
(buzzing)
461
00:19:16,587 --> 00:19:18,788
Okay, gang.
462
00:19:18,856 --> 00:19:20,223
We have plenty
of beeswax.
463
00:19:20,290 --> 00:19:21,658
Let's get back
to the ship.
464
00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:23,660
No. We are not
going anywhere.
465
00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:26,362
I can't abide all
this bee-on-bee conflict.
466
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:30,133
It's time to African-Americanize
these honeybees!
467
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,434
(buzzing)
468
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:32,935
Listen up, bees!
469
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:35,738
It's Kwanzaa,
a time of Umoja.
470
00:19:35,806 --> 00:19:37,473
It means unity.
471
00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:42,245
You have to learn
to work together again!
472
00:19:42,312 --> 00:19:44,547
The crazy tablecloth man
is right.
473
00:19:44,615 --> 00:19:47,517
It's time to set aside
our differences.
474
00:19:47,584 --> 00:19:50,019
Black stripe,
yellow stripe...
475
00:19:50,087 --> 00:19:51,454
at the end of the day,
476
00:19:51,522 --> 00:19:54,490
we're just a couple dern
talkin' space bees.
477
00:19:54,558 --> 00:19:56,325
Hey, forget
about it.
478
00:19:56,393 --> 00:19:59,262
me here and
give me a sting.
479
00:19:59,329 --> 00:20:03,633
Look! The spirit of Kwanzaa
is killing the parasites.
480
00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:04,834
(all cheering)
481
00:20:04,902 --> 00:20:07,236
Yech! But yay!
482
00:20:07,304 --> 00:20:09,005
Thank you, my
human brother.
483
00:20:09,073 --> 00:20:12,141
Your message of unity
has touched our souls.
484
00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:16,212
We are once again
of a single hivemind.
485
00:20:17,614 --> 00:20:20,183
(all muttering anxiously)
486
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:21,150
(crashing)
487
00:20:21,218 --> 00:20:22,452
KWANZAABOT:
Oh, yeah.
488
00:20:22,519 --> 00:20:24,320
Hooray! Kwanzaabot's
here to save--
489
00:20:24,388 --> 00:20:26,522
(blow thuds)
Oh, they killed him.
490
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,991
(buzzing)
491
00:20:31,261 --> 00:20:34,230
Joyous Kwanzaa, everybody.
492
00:20:40,337 --> 00:20:41,337
(applause)
493
00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:43,606
(chuckling)
Don't worry.
494
00:20:43,674 --> 00:20:46,042
The Futurama crew will
be back next year
495
00:20:46,110 --> 00:20:47,777
with all new episodes
496
00:20:47,845 --> 00:20:49,312
featuring Bender, Leela,
497
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:52,548
and me, Al Gore, as
Captain Lance Starman.
498
00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:53,850
And from all of us here
499
00:20:53,917 --> 00:20:56,919
at Gunderson's Nuts,
happy holidays!
500
00:20:56,987 --> 00:20:59,889
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org