1 00:00:01,067 --> 00:00:03,934 [Ted Narrating] Kids, in the fall of 2010... 2 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,732 I was hosting my very first Thanksgiving... 3 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,534 and I wanted it to be unforgettable. 4 00:00:07,640 --> 00:00:11,007 Instead of stuffing, I'm gonna fill the turkey with... 5 00:00:11,111 --> 00:00:12,703 a slightly smaller turkey. 6 00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:15,144 It's called a "turturkeykey." 7 00:00:15,248 --> 00:00:17,182 - A turturkeykey? - Mm-hmm. 8 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:19,012 Uh-uh-oh-oh. 9 00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:21,451 Yeah, I was there for the insertion. 10 00:00:21,554 --> 00:00:24,318 He used shoehorns. I'll be having sides. 11 00:00:25,091 --> 00:00:26,524 Your loss. 12 00:00:26,626 --> 00:00:28,685 It's dead in here. I'm gonna call it a little early. 13 00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:32,196 What? No, you can't go now. It's the night before Thanksgiving. 14 00:00:32,298 --> 00:00:34,198 College chicks are back in town. 15 00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,598 Their moms just made a snide comment about the weight they gained. 16 00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,933 They called her a "bitch," but deep down they know she's right. 17 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,008 And they are about to walk through that door where we will be waiting... 18 00:00:42,108 --> 00:00:45,271 with some light beer and some rock-hard approval. 19 00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,073 Wh-What u-up? 20 00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:50,672 You don't wanna bail early, man. You could become the Blitz. 21 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:52,012 [All] Ooh! 22 00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:54,018 [Ted Narrating] Blitz was a guy we knew in college. 23 00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,849 Sadly, he was cursed. 24 00:00:55,955 --> 00:00:58,355 Well, I'm calling it a little early. 25 00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,619 Wha... You sure? We got big plans. 26 00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,820 Remember how last week we fired up a sandwich... 27 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,955 and we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon while watching The Wizard of Oz? 28 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,432 Well, tonight, we're doing the same thing... 29 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:11,163 only with Weird Al Yankovic's Greatest Hits... 30 00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:12,898 and Apocalypse Now. 31 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,735 We'll see what happens. 32 00:01:14,841 --> 00:01:18,106 Nah. It's Kraft-Croft night... mac and cheese and Tomb Raider. 33 00:01:18,211 --> 00:01:19,735 Bizzow! 34 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,076 [Ted Narrating] You see, every time Blitz left a place... 35 00:01:22,182 --> 00:01:24,150 something amazing happened. 36 00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:30,117 Oh. I'm sorry. I thought this was my room. 37 00:01:30,223 --> 00:01:31,690 [Giggles] 38 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:35,886 - Completely naked! - Completely naked! 39 00:01:35,995 --> 00:01:37,394 Aw, man! 40 00:01:37,497 --> 00:01:40,625 - And the movie was awesome. - Aw, man! 41 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,724 At the exact moment Brando first appeared... 44 00:01:47,273 --> 00:01:50,800 [Ted Narrating] And over the years, the curse of the Blitz continued. 45 00:01:50,910 --> 00:01:52,741 Well, I'm gonna call it. 46 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,508 I just got Madden 2K1, and I can't stop thinking about it. 47 00:01:55,615 --> 00:01:58,482 - See you later. - Bye-bye. - See you later. 48 00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,255 [Tap Pops] 49 00:02:03,356 --> 00:02:06,257 Taps broke. Can't turn 'em off. Free beer for everyone. 50 00:02:06,359 --> 00:02:07,951 [All] Yeah! 51 00:02:08,695 --> 00:02:10,253 Free beer for everyone! 52 00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:15,027 - Free beer for everyone. - Aw, man! 53 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,500 You know what? 54 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,571 Ted, go ahead. Leave early to do something lame. 55 00:02:18,671 --> 00:02:21,606 Just don't blame us if you become the Blitz. 56 00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:25,644 First of all, there's nothing lame about brining a turturkeykey... 57 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:27,212 copyright pending. 58 00:02:27,313 --> 00:02:30,578 And secondly, I don't believe the curse of the Blitz is real. 59 00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:33,447 [Ted Narrating] Kids, I'd live to regret those words. 60 00:02:33,553 --> 00:02:37,512 The curse of the Blitz could be passed from one person to the next at any moment. 61 00:02:37,624 --> 00:02:40,787 Blitz had gotten the curse from Jerry Windheim back in freshman year... 62 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,454 who got it years before that from Davey Beaterman. 63 00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:47,431 The original Blitz, Matt Blitz, was a guy who went to Wesleyan back in the '60s. 64 00:02:47,534 --> 00:02:50,059 He dropped out right before the school went coed. 65 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,661 And then, Thanksgiving morning... 66 00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,208 What the hell happened here? 67 00:02:59,312 --> 00:03:01,246 Hey! Morning, Blitz. 68 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:03,247 Aw, man! 69 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,409 No, no. Let's get one thing straight, okay? I am not the Blitz. 70 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:10,649 # My Blitzy lies over the ocean # 71 00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:14,659 [Together] # My Blitzy lies over the sea # 72 00:03:14,761 --> 00:03:18,390 # My Blitzy lies over the ocean # 73 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:21,194 - # So bring back my Blitzy... # - Please stop. 74 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:24,500 Okay, fine. 75 00:03:24,604 --> 00:03:26,663 # To me ## 76 00:03:26,773 --> 00:03:28,331 The Gentleman. 77 00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:29,874 [All] The Gentleman! 78 00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:32,171 Wait, wait. What's that? What's the Gentleman? 79 00:03:32,278 --> 00:03:35,179 - Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. - I'm not the Blitz. 80 00:03:38,985 --> 00:03:40,452 [Woman Yawns] 81 00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:49,553 - Zoey? - Morning, Blitz. 82 00:03:50,863 --> 00:03:51,852 [Yawns] 83 00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,433 ##[Upbeat Pop] 84 00:03:56,035 --> 00:03:57,866 ##[Man Vocalizing] 85 00:04:03,142 --> 00:04:04,769 ##[Ends] 86 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,811 [Ted Narrating] Kids, you remember Zoey. 87 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,245 For the last two months, she'd been making my life hell. 88 00:04:10,717 --> 00:04:13,550 Thanks, guys. Last night was amazing. 89 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,554 - The Gentleman! - [All] The Gentle... 90 00:04:16,656 --> 00:04:18,419 [All Groan] 91 00:04:18,524 --> 00:04:21,755 How could you, my best friends in the world... 92 00:04:21,861 --> 00:04:23,761 hang out with my mortal enemy... 93 00:04:23,863 --> 00:04:27,890 and let her sleep in the tub where I clean myself? 94 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:30,231 Sorry, Ted. We can explain. 95 00:04:30,336 --> 00:04:31,963 After you Blitzed out last night... 96 00:04:32,071 --> 00:04:33,231 I'm not the Blitz! 97 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,933 Oh, my God. That's Zoey. 98 00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:37,634 That's Ted's enemy. 99 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:40,474 Which means she's our enemy. 100 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,980 Let's take this bitch down. 101 00:04:43,082 --> 00:04:46,984 Huh? Huh? Who's got your back? Now let's have dinner. 102 00:04:47,086 --> 00:04:49,350 Finish the story, Red. 103 00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:53,619 We all started brainstorming ways to mess with her. 104 00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:56,251 There were a lot of different ideas kicking around. 105 00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,523 And then I'm just gonna leave her there... 106 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,259 buck naked, covered in candle wax... 107 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:03,631 tied to the bed. 108 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,830 Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl... 109 00:05:06,939 --> 00:05:09,305 but that's a little extreme. 110 00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:12,207 Wait. Ted doesn't like that girl? 111 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,679 Okay, no, I got it. You see that silk scarf? 112 00:05:15,782 --> 00:05:17,613 I'm gonna steal it. 113 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,623 Can I help you? 114 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,719 Yeah. Yeah. 115 00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:30,193 My name is Lily Aldrin. 116 00:05:30,296 --> 00:05:32,662 I'm a friend of Ted Mosby, so you better... 117 00:05:32,765 --> 00:05:34,960 You're Lily Aldrin? The painter? 118 00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,298 Well, yeah. 119 00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:40,668 You're amazing. I bought a bunch of your paintings online. 120 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:43,071 - That was you? - Yeah. 121 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:44,871 Oh! 122 00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:46,968 None of us meant for it to happen. 123 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,811 - But... Well, we had an awesome night with her. - Mmm. 124 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,452 [All] The Gentleman! 125 00:05:54,554 --> 00:05:56,215 [Cheering] 126 00:05:56,322 --> 00:05:59,485 And then the craziest thing happened. 127 00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:02,083 [Cheering] 128 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:05,530 I missed a skateboarding dog? 129 00:06:05,631 --> 00:06:08,998 - Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part. - It wasn't? 130 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,230 Okay, Marshall, truth or dare. 131 00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:16,741 Awesome. Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths. So dare. 132 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,367 Okay. 133 00:06:18,478 --> 00:06:21,777 I dare you to send a picture of your junk... 134 00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,576 to a complete stranger. 135 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,844 [All] Ooh! 136 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,517 Best idea ever! 137 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,646 Worst idea ever. 138 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:32,748 My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket. 139 00:06:32,859 --> 00:06:36,295 If their phone was on vibrate, I basically dry-humped them. 140 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,921 [Laughs] Whoa. 141 00:06:39,031 --> 00:06:41,864 Okay. Everybody shout out random numbers. 142 00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:43,299 - Um... - Uh... 143 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,371 Four, eight, 15, 16, 23, 42. 144 00:06:45,471 --> 00:06:47,564 And... send! 145 00:06:47,673 --> 00:06:49,038 [Cheering] 146 00:06:49,142 --> 00:06:50,575 Wait. Blitz was there too? 147 00:06:50,676 --> 00:06:51,870 The Gentleman! 148 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,878 [All] The Gentleman! 149 00:06:53,980 --> 00:06:55,641 Oh, I was there for the whole thing. 150 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:59,548 Something inside me just said, "Grand Theft Auto can wait a night." 151 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:01,517 It was legen... 152 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:03,282 Wait for Ted to leave 'cause he's now the Blitz. 153 00:07:03,389 --> 00:07:04,356 ...dary. 154 00:07:04,457 --> 00:07:05,583 Legendary. 155 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:06,959 - I'm not the Blitz. - I'm afraid you are, Ted. 156 00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,153 - I'm not the Blitz. - I'm afraid you are, Ted. 157 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,229 You see, when you left last night... 158 00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:14,595 - you changed the course of Blitz-ory. - [Crunches] 159 00:07:14,700 --> 00:07:17,032 [Cheering] 160 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:19,934 [Voice] Blitzl 161 00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,979 [Gasping] 162 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:37,154 I'm finally free. 163 00:07:37,256 --> 00:07:40,157 You have no idea what I've missed all these years... 164 00:07:40,259 --> 00:07:44,628 the university president's toupee being snatched by a hawk at graduation... 165 00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:46,823 Zeppelin reuniting at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah... 166 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,959 countless nip-slips, crotch shots... 167 00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:51,764 shooting stars and double rainbows. 168 00:07:51,871 --> 00:07:53,338 I've missed them all. 169 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,272 - Not anymore, Blitz. - My name's not Blitz. 170 00:07:58,077 --> 00:08:01,478 My name is Steve! 171 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,973 Colors seem so bright now. 172 00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:10,654 - Thank you, Blitz. - What? 173 00:08:10,756 --> 00:08:12,986 No. No, no. No, no, no. I'm not the Blitz. 174 00:08:13,092 --> 00:08:14,719 The only thing I missed last night... 175 00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:17,990 was my best friends stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. 176 00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:20,691 Guys, I hate Zoey. 177 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:24,133 That means you're supposed to hate her too. That's your rule, Lily. 178 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,467 - I tried. - Tried? 179 00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:30,872 Lily, do you have any idea how many people I blindly hated for you? 180 00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:35,846 I hated Renée Zellweger with a burning passion for eight years... 181 00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,973 only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon. 182 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:42,350 Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back for You, Me and Dupree. 183 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,922 That's Kate Hudson! 184 00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:47,390 Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. Guys, we hate Kate Hudson. 185 00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,723 No! We hate Zoey! 186 00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:52,093 [Grunts] I'm so furious at you all right now. 187 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:55,565 But it's Thanksgiving, and I have a turturkeykey to make. 188 00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,167 And not that I'm the Blitz... 189 00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,832 but could everyone please come with me into the kitchen? 190 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:04,000 [Chattering] 191 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:04,210 Okay, I'm, uh, just gonna preheat the oven. 192 00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:07,839 Okay, I'm, uh, just gonna preheat the oven. 193 00:09:07,947 --> 00:09:09,676 The oven. 194 00:09:09,782 --> 00:09:12,910 Hey, Robin, you should dance on the oven. 195 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:14,748 - Oh! - Oh! - Yeah! 196 00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:16,913 - [Chanting] Dance on the oven! - [Barney, Chanting] Make out with Zoey! 197 00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,958 - Dance on the oven! - Make out with Zoey! 198 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:29,199 Did they tell you about the skateboarding dog? 199 00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:32,193 It was awesome. 200 00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:40,338 Great. So not only did you guys betray me... 201 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:42,744 but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving? 202 00:09:42,848 --> 00:09:46,181 Full disclosure. We also used all your butter greasing up Lily... 203 00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:48,583 so we could see how far we could slide her down the hall. 204 00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:51,987 - [Marshall Snickering] - But if it helps, I reached 4G. 205 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,889 It doesn't help. 4G? 206 00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:55,892 Mm-hmm. 207 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:58,725 No. Wh-What are we supposed to do now? 208 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,735 This is awesome. I'm part of this. 209 00:10:04,904 --> 00:10:07,839 Barney, I don't know if the oven's deep enough. 210 00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:12,240 Plus, it's a display made of cardboard. 211 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,575 Oh. I should probably disconnect the gas. 212 00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,881 Hey, just so you guys know, there was a tiny explosion... 213 00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,510 at the sewage treatment plant across the street from our apartment. 214 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,919 But I'm sure it's fine by now. 215 00:10:24,023 --> 00:10:26,651 - [Steve] This is awesome. - [Ted] It's not awesome. 216 00:10:26,759 --> 00:10:28,920 I think the smaller turkey... 217 00:10:29,028 --> 00:10:32,589 just tried to crawl further inside the bigger turkey. 218 00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:35,928 [Barney] Um... 219 00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:40,932 Um, I'm having... I'm having trouble breathing. 220 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,135 Mom keeps an extra litter box in here. 221 00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:49,447 There you go. Good as new. 222 00:10:50,616 --> 00:10:52,584 Oh. Hey, Ginger. 223 00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:58,713 Ted, you're not gonna like this, but we do have one other option. 224 00:11:00,059 --> 00:11:03,517 Hey, you guys should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 225 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:07,565 My husband always spends it with his daughter, so I'm gonna be alone anyway. 226 00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,032 Could we bring Ted? 227 00:11:10,269 --> 00:11:11,827 It's Thanksgiving. 228 00:11:11,937 --> 00:11:14,201 - What the hell? - [All] Yeah! 229 00:11:17,309 --> 00:11:19,209 No. Absolutely not. 230 00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:21,006 Come on. Give her a chance. 231 00:11:21,113 --> 00:11:24,571 Ted, you violated a dead turkey with another dead turkey. 232 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:26,311 Don't let that be in vain. 233 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:28,319 You guys, wait a minute. 234 00:11:28,421 --> 00:11:29,820 Where's Barney? 235 00:11:29,922 --> 00:11:34,154 [Chuckles] And here's the twist, Babaka. 236 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:38,754 Because Ted left early, he's now the Blitz. 237 00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:40,991 But, Barney, now you left the group. 238 00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,830 Wouldn't that put you in danger of becoming the Blitz yourself? 239 00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,769 No. I ca... Because... 240 00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:49,832 Step on it. 241 00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:53,177 Hey, hey, hey! You missed it! 242 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,679 - Oh, my goodness! - Our cab took a wrong turn. 243 00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,408 We were in the Thanksgiving Day Parade. 244 00:11:57,516 --> 00:12:00,610 Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike, and he sang "Twist and Shout." 245 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,210 But he's the Blitz. 246 00:12:02,321 --> 00:12:04,915 No. I'm not the Blitz. 247 00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,548 I'm the Bueller. 248 00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,854 You know what this means? 249 00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:10,394 You're the Blitz. 250 00:12:11,297 --> 00:12:14,095 - [Coughs] - [Voice] Blitzl 251 00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:19,970 - [Chokes] Oh, God, no. - Life moves pretty fast, Barney. 252 00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:23,200 If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it. 253 00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:25,533 Chicka-chicka. 254 00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,110 Happy Thanksgiving. 255 00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:32,578 Ted. 256 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:33,947 Zoey. 257 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:38,117 Best friend alert. 258 00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:43,958 Okay, the turturkeykey is officially cooking. 259 00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,224 Oh. Oh, God, that is disgusting! 260 00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,129 Guys, that's starting to hurt. 261 00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,361 No, no. No, Ted. 262 00:12:50,469 --> 00:12:53,529 "Random number" guy just sent me his wang back. 263 00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,266 Wow! 264 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,899 You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back. 265 00:12:58,010 --> 00:12:59,739 - It's a "boomewang." - Nice. 266 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,177 - Thank you. - No, I meant the wang. 267 00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:05,478 - Barney, could you get me some more ice? - Sure. 268 00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:08,075 But no one move while I'm gone. 269 00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:09,586 I'm scared. 270 00:13:09,688 --> 00:13:11,883 You're safe. It's okay to leave the room. 271 00:13:11,991 --> 00:13:14,653 You have to actually leave the building for something cool to happen. 272 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:15,954 Thanks. 273 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:19,394 You're the only one who's nice to me about this. 274 00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:23,325 Okay, I gotta test this. 275 00:13:26,839 --> 00:13:29,330 [Cheering] 276 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:31,306 What happened? 277 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:34,607 - You missed it. - Dude, you walked out of the room... 278 00:13:34,713 --> 00:13:38,012 the laws of physics stopped, and the laws of awesome tripled. 279 00:13:38,117 --> 00:13:41,712 Aw, man. You said I could leave the room. 280 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:44,381 I just wanted to see something cool happen. 281 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:47,891 I'm sorry. But I was on that island for what seems like eternity. 282 00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:49,961 I'm gonna enjoy things on the other side. 283 00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:52,257 No! You... [Stammers] 284 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:55,128 Robin. Robin, I will pay you to be the Blitz. 285 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:58,692 A hundred dollars. No. $10,000. 286 00:13:58,804 --> 00:14:01,637 No. Sixty bucks. What's a lot of money for someone like you? 287 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:04,607 Dude, the Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold. 288 00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:08,009 - Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity. - Oh, what was that? 289 00:14:08,113 --> 00:14:11,480 I was distracted by the four-carat diamond your 53-year-old husband bought you. 290 00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:15,816 - Facial. - If you'll excuse me, I have a turturkeykey to baste. 291 00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,651 - I'm coming with you. - No. I baste alone. 292 00:14:18,757 --> 00:14:20,850 Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted. 293 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,825 Wordplay. Lovin' it. 294 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:26,329 But relax. I've got a ton of sides to heat up since my plans fell through. 295 00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,990 Who canceled... your coven? 296 00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,432 Coven. Group of witches. Boom. 297 00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:33,061 Yeah. They were worn out from putting that spell on your hair. 298 00:14:33,172 --> 00:14:34,662 Oh! Serve returned. 299 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,264 Are you happy? You're ruining Thanksgiving. 300 00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:40,277 Well, you're not exactly who I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with either. 301 00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,615 God, I'm so happy to be here. 302 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:46,617 - My face hurts from smiling. - Oh! 303 00:14:46,719 --> 00:14:49,187 Sorry, Lily. I'm just never gonna like that woman. 304 00:14:49,288 --> 00:14:51,950 - Ted, give her a chance. - Enemies can't become friends. 305 00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:54,287 Yes, they can. Right, guys? 306 00:14:54,393 --> 00:14:56,293 - Oh. Absolutely. - Yes. Yes. - No. 307 00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:59,023 You guys can't be objective. You still feel guilty about last night. 308 00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:01,190 - Well, let's get an outside opinion. - Who are we gonna... 309 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,892 - Dear Wang Guy... - Oh. 310 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,800 can enemies ever be friends? 311 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,372 - Just wondering. - Hmm. 312 00:15:07,473 --> 00:15:11,569 Really? Wang Guy. We're asking Wang Guy? 313 00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:14,339 He's bold and uninhibited. So why not? 314 00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:16,414 Hey, guys, you know what? For fun... 315 00:15:16,515 --> 00:15:19,541 why don't we ask him what he does for a living. 316 00:15:19,652 --> 00:15:21,916 Wouldn't that be fun? Just... 317 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:25,787 Aw, you've got a little crush on Wang Guy, don't you? 318 00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:29,224 What? No. Shut up. I hate him. 319 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:32,388 - [Cell Phone Beeps] - Oh. We got an answer. Here it is. 320 00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:35,399 "Yes. Enemies can become friends. 321 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:40,905 Remember what Gandhi said. 'Be the change you want to see in the world."' 322 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:43,566 Uh, did Wang Guy just quote Gandhi? 323 00:15:43,676 --> 00:15:46,645 That is amazing. And I was here for it. 324 00:15:46,745 --> 00:15:49,839 Now Zoey is the Blitz. Ha! Ha! 325 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,110 [Laughs] Burn on her. 326 00:15:53,519 --> 00:15:56,454 Come on, man. Don't be that Blitz. 327 00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:59,319 I'm not any Blitz. You're the Blitz. 328 00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:01,017 You're all the Blitz. 329 00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:04,027 I slept with that cute Indian girl who cuts my hair. 330 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,858 What does that have to do with anything? 331 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:09,128 Nothing. I just forgot to brag about it before. 332 00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:12,328 Guys, despite the wit and wisdom of Wang Guy... 333 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:14,531 Zoey and I are never gonna be friends. 334 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,507 We're just here for her oven, and that's it. 335 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:20,134 Oh, my God! 336 00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,112 - Did you do that on purpose? - No. It was an accident. 337 00:16:23,215 --> 00:16:26,048 - Oh, yeah, well, like this is. - Oh. Great. Real mature. 338 00:16:26,151 --> 00:16:28,551 - Yeah, well, you started it. - [Ted, Zoey Arguing] 339 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,918 Stop it! 340 00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:34,117 [Sighs] Can't you two just stop fighting for one day? 341 00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:39,220 Like when the roadrunner and the coyote clocked out and had a beer together. 342 00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:42,300 Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry shared a cup of coffee. 343 00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,301 Lily, those are cartoon characters... 344 00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:46,633 and I'm pretty sure you're making up episodes. 345 00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:50,903 And if Zoey is a cartoon character, she's Cinderella's evil stepmother! 346 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:54,241 Get out. All of you, out! 347 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,836 But it's Thanksgiving. 348 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,711 And I'm a part of it. 349 00:16:57,816 --> 00:16:58,976 Out! 350 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,518 Wait. Where's Barney? 351 00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:08,582 Hey, guys, the most amazing thing just happened to me in that other roo... 352 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:12,420 Aw, man! 353 00:17:17,569 --> 00:17:21,164 I don't get it. Why'd she just kick us out like that? 354 00:17:21,273 --> 00:17:24,936 [Ted Narrating] Then the cabdriver said the last thing any of us wanted to hear. 355 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,568 Where to? 356 00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:31,009 [Sighs] I guess we're going home. 357 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:35,849 Yeah, I don't know where that is. 358 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,225 Lily, where'd you get that? 359 00:17:49,334 --> 00:17:54,533 Oh. When Zoey booted us, it made me wanna steal something of hers again. 360 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:58,701 Apartment full of designer labels, and what do I grab? 361 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,939 "Happy Turkey Day, Hannah. Love, Zoey." 362 00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:04,410 I wonder who Hannah is. 363 00:18:07,853 --> 00:18:10,913 Hey, you guys should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 364 00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:14,789 My husband always spends it with his daughter, so I'm gonna be alone anyway. 365 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:17,885 Well, you're not exactly who I thought I'd be spending Thanksgiving with either. 366 00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:21,989 And if Zoey is a cartoon character, she's Cinderella's evil stepmother! 367 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,335 Get out. All of you, out! 368 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,808 We have to go back to Zoey's. 369 00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,604 You gotta throw me some addresses, buddy. 370 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,074 [Zoey Gasps] Oh, God! 371 00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:43,621 - What are you doing here? - Barney let us in. 372 00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,952 Barney was here? I was walking around half naked. 373 00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:49,960 Aw, man! Wait. Which half? 374 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:53,964 Look, I'm sorry your stepdaughter didn't want to spend Thanksgiving with you. 375 00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:56,830 - How do you know that? - I just do. 376 00:18:56,935 --> 00:18:58,527 Must be tough. 377 00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:02,198 It was the first Thanksgiving Hannah agreed to spend with me... 378 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:05,936 and then, at the last minute, she... changed her mind. 379 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,943 She hates my guts. 380 00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,610 - I get that. - [Laughs] 381 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,847 Uh, you should hang on to this. 382 00:19:15,954 --> 00:19:17,922 You can give it to her next year. 383 00:19:18,957 --> 00:19:21,653 Yeah. Right. 384 00:19:22,294 --> 00:19:23,625 Next year. 385 00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:26,823 Hey, you never know. People don't stay enemies forever. 386 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,298 [Ted Narrating] And that's the story of how Zoey and I became friends. 387 00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:33,803 - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. 388 00:19:33,906 --> 00:19:37,637 Before we eat, we should take a group picture and send it to Wang Guy. 389 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,540 - [All Exclaiming] - [Robin] Oh, great idea. 390 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,203 [Clears Throat] 391 00:19:41,313 --> 00:19:42,871 Okay, here we go. 392 00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:45,973 - One, two, three. - [Shutter Clicks] 393 00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:51,078 Ted, that is the best-Iooking turturkeykey I have ever seen. 394 00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,921 - Yeah. - Thank you. I just hope it tastes as good as it looks. 395 00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:58,360 [Ted Narrating] It didn't. It tasted wrong. 396 00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:01,023 - Oops. Forgot to light the candles. - Oh, yeah. 397 00:20:02,267 --> 00:20:03,996 [Ted Narrating] And just as Barney looked away... 398 00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:05,569 it happened. 399 00:20:17,950 --> 00:20:20,475 ##[Chorus Vocalizing] 400 00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,225 [All] The Gentleman! 401 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,429 What happened? I saw it. 402 00:20:39,538 --> 00:20:42,234 Aw, come on, Blitz. Now it's just sad. 403 00:20:42,341 --> 00:20:43,933 Aw, man! 404 00:20:49,615 --> 00:20:51,708 Oh, go ahead. I forgot my jacket. 405 00:20:53,652 --> 00:20:55,620 Oh, hold the door. 406 00:20:58,724 --> 00:21:00,658 - [Fabric Ripping] - [Woman Shrieks] 407 00:21:00,759 --> 00:21:02,124 [Barney] Thank you, God! 408 00:21:02,227 --> 00:21:05,094 Aw, man! 409 00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:07,927 [Voice] Blitzl 410 00:21:33,859 --> 00:21:34,826 English - US - SDH