1
00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:02,134
<i> Kids, in the fall of 2010,</i>

2
00:00:03,135 --> 00:00:04,402
<i>I was hosting my very first Thanksgiving.</i>

3
00:00:04,403 --> 00:00:06,538
<i>And I wanted it to be unforgettable.</i>

4
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:10,942
Instead of stuffing,
I'm going to fill the turkey with...

5
00:00:10,943 --> 00:00:12,661
a slightly smaller turkey.

6
00:00:12,662 --> 00:00:15,080
It's called a Turturkeykey!

7
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:17,248
A Turturkeykey? Mm-hmm.

8
00:00:17,249 --> 00:00:20,085
Uh-uh, oh-oh. ROBIN: Yeah, I was there for

9
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:23,254
the "insertion." He used shoehorns.

10
00:00:23,255 --> 00:00:24,422
I'll be having sides.

11
00:00:25,424 --> 00:00:27,058
Your loss. All right, it's dead in here.

12
00:00:27,059 --> 00:00:28,693
I'm gonna call it a little early.

13
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,378
What? No! You can't go now.

14
00:00:30,379 --> 00:00:32,097
It's the night before Thanksgiving.

15
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,465
College chicks are back in town.

16
00:00:33,466 --> 00:00:34,933
Their moms just made a snide comment

17
00:00:34,934 --> 00:00:36,468
about the weight they gained.

18
00:00:36,469 --> 00:00:37,602
They called her a bitch,

19
00:00:37,603 --> 00:00:38,937
but deep down, they know she's right.

20
00:00:38,938 --> 00:00:40,488
And they're about to walk through that door,

21
00:00:40,489 --> 00:00:41,890
where we will be waiting

22
00:00:41,891 --> 00:00:45,443
with some light beer and
some rock hard approval.

23
00:00:45,444 --> 00:00:47,812
Wh-what u-up?

24
00:00:47,813 --> 00:00:49,447
Yeah. You don't want to bail early, man.

25
00:00:49,448 --> 00:00:50,649
You could become The Blitz.

26
00:00:52,018 --> 00:00:53,985
<i>Blitz was a guy we knew in college.</i>

27
00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:55,387
<i>Sadly, he was cursed.</i>

28
00:00:55,821 --> 00:00:56,855
Well...

29
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,256
I'm calling it a little early.

30
00:00:58,257 --> 00:01:00,558
Wh... you sure? We got big plans.

31
00:01:00,559 --> 00:01:02,827
Yeah. Remember how last
week we fired up a sandwich,

32
00:01:02,828 --> 00:01:04,529
<i>and we listened to Pink Floyd's
Dark Side of the Moon</i>

33
00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:05,964
<i>while watching The Wizard of Oz?</i>

34
00:01:05,965 --> 00:01:06,965
Well, tonight,

35
00:01:06,966 --> 00:01:09,100
we're doing the same thing,

36
00:01:09,101 --> 00:01:11,136
<i>only with "Weird Al"
Yankovic's Greatest Hits</i>

37
00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,937
<i>and Apocalypse Now.</i>

38
00:01:12,938 --> 00:01:14,706
We'll see what happens.

39
00:01:14,707 --> 00:01:18,093
Nah, it's Kraft/Croft night:
mac and cheese and Tomb Raider.

40
00:01:18,094 --> 00:01:19,761
Biz-zow!

41
00:01:19,762 --> 00:01:22,213
<i>You see, every time Blitz left a place,</i>

44
00:01:28,454 --> 00:01:30,088
I thought this was my room.

45
00:01:32,575 --> 00:01:35,894
Completely naked! Completely naked!

46
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,362
Aw, man!

47
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:38,997
And the movie was awesome.

48
00:01:38,998 --> 00:01:40,532
Aw, man!

49
00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,300
At the exact moment Brando first appeared,

50
00:01:42,301 --> 00:01:44,869
"Weird Al" launched right into "Eat It."

51
00:01:44,870 --> 00:01:47,038
<i>Aw, man!</i>

52
00:01:47,039 --> 00:01:48,573
<i> And over the years,</i>

53
00:01:48,574 --> 00:01:50,809
<i>"The Curse of The Blitz" continued.</i>

54
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,677
Well, I'm gonna call it.

55
00:01:52,678 --> 00:01:55,480
I just got Madden 2K1,
and I can't stop thinking about it.

56
00:01:55,481 --> 00:01:56,514
See you later! Bye-bye!

57
00:01:56,515 --> 00:01:57,549
All right, bye-bye! Okay, later!

58
00:01:57,550 --> 00:01:58,750
Good-bye! Bye-Bye!

59
00:02:02,254 --> 00:02:04,723
Tap's broke! Can't turn 'em off!

60
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,224
Free beer for everyone!

61
00:02:08,427 --> 00:02:10,261
Free beer for everyone!

62
00:02:10,262 --> 00:02:11,763
Free beer for everyone!

63
00:02:11,764 --> 00:02:14,299
Aw, man!

64
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,401
You know what?

65
00:02:16,402 --> 00:02:18,470
Ted, go ahead-- leave early
to do something lame.

66
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:21,473
Just don't blame us if
you become... The Blitz.

67
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,974
All right, first of all...

68
00:02:22,975 --> 00:02:25,810
there's nothing lame about
brining a Turturkeykey,

69
00:02:25,811 --> 00:02:28,079
copyright pending. And secondly,

70
00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:30,782
I don't believe
"The Curse of The Blitz" is real.

71
00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:33,318
<i>Kids, I'd live to regret those words.</i>

72
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,253
<i>You see, the "Curse of Blitz"
could be passed</i>

73
00:02:35,254 --> 00:02:37,655
<i>from one person to the next, at any moment.</i>

74
00:02:37,656 --> 00:02:39,457
<i>Blitz had gotten the curse
from Jerry Windheim,</i>

75
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,893
<i>back in freshman year,
who got it years before that</i>

76
00:02:41,894 --> 00:02:43,428
<i>from Davey Beaterman.</i>

77
00:02:43,429 --> 00:02:44,796
<i>The original Blitz, Matt Blitz,</i>

78
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,165
<i>was a guy who went to Wesleyan
back in the '60s.</i>

79
00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:49,934
<i>He dropped out right before
the school went co-ed.</i>

80
00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:52,203
<i>And then, Thanksgiving morning...</i>

81
00:02:57,276 --> 00:02:59,177
What the hell happened here?

82
00:02:59,178 --> 00:03:01,246
Hey! Morning, Blitz!

83
00:03:01,247 --> 00:03:03,248
Aw, man!

84
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:04,999
No, no! Let's get one thing straight, okay?

85
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,317
I am not The Blitz.

86
00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:10,522
♪ My Blitzy lies over the ocean ♪

87
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:14,025
♪ My Blitzy lies over the sea ♪

88
00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:18,296
♪ My Blitzy lies over the ocean ♪

89
00:03:18,297 --> 00:03:21,332
♪ So bring back my Blitzy... ♪ Please stop.

90
00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:24,402
Okay, fine.

91
00:03:24,403 --> 00:03:25,770
♪...To me. ♪

92
00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:28,239
The Gentleman!

93
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,875
THE GROUP: The Gentleman! Wait! Wait! Wait!

94
00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:32,043
What's that? What's "The Gentleman"?

95
00:03:32,044 --> 00:03:34,112
Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. Yes.

96
00:03:34,113 --> 00:03:35,313
I'm not The Blitz!

97
00:03:46,325 --> 00:03:47,358
Zoey?

98
00:03:47,359 --> 00:03:50,479
Morning, Blitz!

99
00:03:52,440 --> 00:03:56,699
Transcript by Addic7ed.com

100
00:03:56,734 --> 00:04:00,871
www.addic7ed.com

101
00:04:05,227 --> 00:04:06,561
<i> Kids, you remember Zoey.</i>

102
00:04:06,562 --> 00:04:07,929
For the last two months,

103
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:09,630
she'd been making my life hell.

104
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:11,966
Thanks, guys!

105
00:04:11,967 --> 00:04:13,468
Last night was amazing!

106
00:04:13,469 --> 00:04:14,769
The Gentleman!

107
00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:16,771
The Gentle...

108
00:04:18,574 --> 00:04:21,943
How could you, my best friends in the world,

109
00:04:21,944 --> 00:04:24,045
hang out with my mortal enemy,

110
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:28,082
then let her sleep in the
tub where I clean myself?!

111
00:04:28,083 --> 00:04:30,067
Sorry, Ted. We can explain.

112
00:04:30,068 --> 00:04:32,253
After you Blitzed out last night...

113
00:04:32,254 --> 00:04:33,554
I'm not The Blitz!

114
00:04:33,555 --> 00:04:34,789
Oh, my God...

115
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,257
That's Zoey!

116
00:04:36,258 --> 00:04:37,859
That's Ted's enemy.

117
00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:40,361
Which means she's our enemy.

118
00:04:40,362 --> 00:04:43,197
Let's take this bitch down.

119
00:04:43,198 --> 00:04:44,799
Huh? Huh?

120
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:45,800
Who's got your back?

121
00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:46,834
Now let's have dinner!

122
00:04:46,835 --> 00:04:49,503
Finish the story, Red.

123
00:04:49,504 --> 00:04:52,640
Okay, well, we all started brainstorming

124
00:04:52,641 --> 00:04:53,975
ways to mess with her.

125
00:04:53,976 --> 00:04:56,544
There were a lot of different
ideas kicking around.

126
00:04:56,545 --> 00:04:59,313
And then I'm just going to
leave her there... buck-naked,

127
00:04:59,314 --> 00:05:02,450
covered in candle wax, tied to the bed.

128
00:05:03,819 --> 00:05:07,221
Barney, I know that Ted
doesn't like that girl,

129
00:05:07,222 --> 00:05:09,590
but that's a little extreme.

130
00:05:09,591 --> 00:05:11,425
Wait-- Ted doesn't like that girl?

131
00:05:12,361 --> 00:05:13,427
Okay. Wh...?

132
00:05:13,428 --> 00:05:14,629
Well, I got it.

133
00:05:14,630 --> 00:05:15,930
You see that silk scarf?

134
00:05:15,931 --> 00:05:17,999
I'm going to steal it.

135
00:05:23,505 --> 00:05:24,839
Can I... help you?

136
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:28,176
Yeah. Yeah!

137
00:05:28,177 --> 00:05:30,378
My name is Lily Aldrin.

138
00:05:30,379 --> 00:05:32,847
I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's,
so you better...

139
00:05:32,848 --> 00:05:35,183
You're Lily Aldrin? The painter?!

140
00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:36,851
Well, yeah.

141
00:05:37,586 --> 00:05:38,619
You're amazing!

142
00:05:38,620 --> 00:05:40,821
I bought a bunch of your paintings online.

143
00:05:40,822 --> 00:05:42,790
That was you?! Yeah.

144
00:05:42,791 --> 00:05:44,909
Oh! Thanks!

145
00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:48,429
Look, none of us meant for
it to happen, but, well,

146
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,765
we had an awesome night with her.

147
00:05:52,634 --> 00:05:54,401
The Gentleman!

148
00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:59,707
<i>And then, the craziest thing happened.</i>

149
00:06:04,213 --> 00:06:05,746
I missed a skateboarding dog?

150
00:06:05,747 --> 00:06:07,648
Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part.

151
00:06:07,649 --> 00:06:09,217
It wasn't?

152
00:06:09,218 --> 00:06:10,351
Okay, Marshall.

153
00:06:10,352 --> 00:06:12,303
Truth or dare?

154
00:06:12,304 --> 00:06:13,521
Okay, awesome.

155
00:06:13,522 --> 00:06:15,189
Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths.

156
00:06:15,924 --> 00:06:16,991
So, dare.

157
00:06:16,992 --> 00:06:18,359
Okay.

158
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:22,096
I dare you to send a picture of your junk

159
00:06:22,097 --> 00:06:23,831
to a complete stranger.

160
00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:28,736
Best idea ever!

161
00:06:28,737 --> 00:06:30,905
Worst idea ever!

162
00:06:30,906 --> 00:06:32,990
My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket.

163
00:06:32,991 --> 00:06:36,477
If there phone was on vibrate,
I basically dry-humped them.

164
00:06:36,478 --> 00:06:39,113
Ho, ho, ho, ho! Whoa! Yay!

165
00:06:39,114 --> 00:06:40,781
Yeah. Okay.

166
00:06:40,782 --> 00:06:42,049
Everybody shout out random numbers.

167
00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:43,551
Um. 4, 8...

168
00:06:43,552 --> 00:06:45,820
15, 16, 23, 42!

169
00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:47,788
And... send!

170
00:06:49,258 --> 00:06:50,791
Wait. Blitz was there, too?

171
00:06:50,792 --> 00:06:54,061
The Gentleman! The Gentleman!

172
00:06:54,062 --> 00:06:55,796
Oh, I was there for the whole thing.

173
00:06:55,797 --> 00:06:56,864
Something inside me just said

174
00:06:56,865 --> 00:06:59,767
"Grand Theft Auto" can wait a night.

175
00:06:59,768 --> 00:07:01,602
It was legen--

176
00:07:01,603 --> 00:07:03,487
wait for Ted to leave,
'cause he's now The Blitz--

177
00:07:03,488 --> 00:07:05,823
-- dary. Legendary!

178
00:07:05,824 --> 00:07:07,108
I'm not The Blitz!

179
00:07:07,109 --> 00:07:08,409
I'm afraid you are, Ted.

180
00:07:08,410 --> 00:07:10,378
You see, when you left last night,

181
00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,613
you changed the course of Blitztory.

182
00:07:18,086 --> 00:07:21,372
<i>MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz...</i>

183
00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:38,272
I'm finally free! I mean, you have no idea

184
00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:40,508
what I've missed all these years:

185
00:07:40,509 --> 00:07:41,676
The university president's toupee

186
00:07:41,677 --> 00:07:44,845
being snatched by a hawk at graduation,

187
00:07:44,846 --> 00:07:46,981
Zeppelin reuniting at my
cousin Ira's bar mitzvah,

188
00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:50,618
countless nip-slips, crotch shots,

189
00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:52,353
shooting stars and double rainbows.

190
00:07:52,354 --> 00:07:53,721
I've missed them all!

191
00:07:54,489 --> 00:07:56,357
Well, not anymore, Blitz.

192
00:07:56,358 --> 00:07:58,192
My name's not Blitz.

193
00:07:58,193 --> 00:08:01,395
My name is Steve!

194
00:08:02,597 --> 00:08:05,366
Colors seem so bright now.

195
00:08:08,887 --> 00:08:11,205
Thank you, Blitz. What? No!

196
00:08:11,206 --> 00:08:13,341
N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no! I'm not The Blitz!

197
00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:15,593
The only thing I missed last
night was my best friends

198
00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:18,212
stabbing me in the back by
hanging out with my worst enemy.

199
00:08:18,213 --> 00:08:19,680
Guys!

200
00:08:19,681 --> 00:08:21,115
I hate Zoey!

201
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:22,883
That means you're supposed to hate her, too!

202
00:08:22,884 --> 00:08:24,385
Th-that's your rule, Lily!

203
00:08:24,386 --> 00:08:25,720
I tried.

204
00:08:25,721 --> 00:08:26,921
Tried?!

205
00:08:26,922 --> 00:08:28,789
Lily, do you have any idea

206
00:08:28,790 --> 00:08:31,025
how many people I've blindly hated for you?

207
00:08:31,026 --> 00:08:34,795
I hated Renée Zellweger
with a burning passion

208
00:08:34,796 --> 00:08:36,130
for eight years,

209
00:08:36,131 --> 00:08:38,132
only to discover you
meant Reese Witherspoon!

210
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:41,235
Hey, I will hate her
until I get my money back

211
00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:42,603
<i>for You, Me and Dupree!</i>

212
00:08:42,604 --> 00:08:44,138
That's Kate Hudson!

213
00:08:44,139 --> 00:08:46,173
Oh, yeah. That's who I hate.

214
00:08:46,174 --> 00:08:47,575
Guys, we hate Kate Hudson.

215
00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:50,077
No, we hate Zoey!

216
00:08:50,078 --> 00:08:52,913
I'm so furious at you all right now,

217
00:08:52,914 --> 00:08:55,950
but it's Thanksgiving,
and I have a Turturkeykey to make.

218
00:08:57,519 --> 00:08:59,186
And not that I'm The Blitz,

219
00:08:59,187 --> 00:09:02,089
but could everyone please
come with me into the kitchen?

220
00:09:04,259 --> 00:09:06,227
Okay, I'm, uh,

221
00:09:06,228 --> 00:09:08,062
just gonna preheat the oven.

222
00:09:08,063 --> 00:09:09,897
The oven.

223
00:09:09,898 --> 00:09:11,232
Hey, Robin,

224
00:09:11,233 --> 00:09:13,667
you should dance on the oven.

225
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:16,904
Make out with Zoey!

226
00:09:16,905 --> 00:09:20,074
Make out with Zoey! Make out...

227
00:09:26,915 --> 00:09:29,016
Did they tell you about
the skateboarding dog?

228
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:32,586
It was awesome!

229
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:39,007
Great. So not only did you guys betray me,

230
00:09:39,008 --> 00:09:41,376
but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving?

231
00:09:41,377 --> 00:09:42,477
Full disclosure.

232
00:09:42,478 --> 00:09:44,412
We also used all your butter,
greasing up Lily

233
00:09:43,478 --> 00:09:45,412
We also used all your butter,
greasing up Lily

234
00:09:45,413 --> 00:09:48,348
so we could see how far we
could slide her down the hall.

235
00:09:49,117 --> 00:09:51,652
But if it helps, I reached 4G.

236
00:09:51,653 --> 00:09:54,488
It doesn't help. 4G?

237
00:09:54,489 --> 00:09:55,489
Mm-hmm.

238
00:09:55,490 --> 00:09:56,623
No.

239
00:09:56,624 --> 00:09:58,492
What-What are we supposed to do now?

240
00:09:59,494 --> 00:10:01,795
This is awesome!

241
00:10:01,796 --> 00:10:04,431
I'm part of this!

242
00:10:04,432 --> 00:10:05,732
Barney, I don't know

243
00:10:05,733 --> 00:10:08,101
if the oven is deep enough. Plus,

244
00:10:08,102 --> 00:10:11,772
it's a display made of cardboard.

245
00:10:11,773 --> 00:10:14,341
Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas.

246
00:10:15,543 --> 00:10:17,277
Hey, just so you guys know,

247
00:10:17,278 --> 00:10:19,946
there was a tiny explosion
at the sewage treatment plant

248
00:10:19,947 --> 00:10:21,615
across the street from our apartment,

249
00:10:21,616 --> 00:10:23,517
but I'm sure it's fine by now.

250
00:10:23,518 --> 00:10:24,885
This is awesome!

251
00:10:24,886 --> 00:10:26,019
It's not awesome!

252
00:10:26,020 --> 00:10:29,056
I think the smaller turkey just tried

253
00:10:29,057 --> 00:10:32,359
to crawl further inside the bigger turkey.

254
00:10:33,728 --> 00:10:35,562
Um...

255
00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:38,732
Um... I'm have...

256
00:10:38,733 --> 00:10:40,951
I'm having trouble breathing!

257
00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:44,904
Mom keeps an extra litter box in here.

258
00:10:45,757 --> 00:10:47,574
There you go.

259
00:10:47,575 --> 00:10:49,209
Good as new.

260
00:10:50,128 --> 00:10:52,345
Oh. Hey, Ginger.

261
00:10:54,716 --> 00:10:56,600
Ted, you're not gonna like this,

262
00:10:56,601 --> 00:10:58,468
but we do have one other option.

263
00:10:59,587 --> 00:11:01,021
Hey, you guys

264
00:11:01,022 --> 00:11:03,123
should come to my house for Thanksgiving.

265
00:11:03,124 --> 00:11:05,592
My husband always spends
it with his daughter,

266
00:11:05,593 --> 00:11:07,194
so I'm going to be alone anyway.

267
00:11:07,195 --> 00:11:08,779
Could we bring Ted?

268
00:11:09,630 --> 00:11:11,631
It's Thanksgiving.

269
00:11:11,632 --> 00:11:12,733
What the hell?

270
00:11:16,838 --> 00:11:18,789
No. Absolutely not.

271
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:20,624
Come on. Give her a chance.

272
00:11:20,625 --> 00:11:22,442
Ted, you violated a dead turkey

273
00:11:22,443 --> 00:11:24,161
with another dead turkey.

274
00:11:24,162 --> 00:11:25,912
Don't let that be in vain.

275
00:11:25,913 --> 00:11:27,948
Guys? Wait a minute.

276
00:11:27,949 --> 00:11:29,416
Where's Barney?

277
00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:33,754
And here's the twist, Babaka.

278
00:11:33,755 --> 00:11:38,325
Because Ted left early, he's now The Blitz!

279
00:11:38,326 --> 00:11:40,560
But Barney, now you left the group.

280
00:11:40,561 --> 00:11:43,430
Wouldn't that put you in danger
of becoming The Blitz yourself?

281
00:11:43,431 --> 00:11:45,198
No. I c...

282
00:11:45,199 --> 00:11:47,300
Because...

283
00:11:47,301 --> 00:11:49,436
Step on it.

284
00:11:51,439 --> 00:11:52,856
You missed it.

285
00:11:52,857 --> 00:11:53,940
Oh, my goodness.

286
00:11:53,941 --> 00:11:55,242
Our cab took a wrong turn.

287
00:11:55,243 --> 00:11:57,210
We were in the Thanksgiving Day parade!

288
00:11:57,211 --> 00:12:00,247
Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike
and he sang "Twist and Shout!"

289
00:12:00,248 --> 00:12:01,832
But he's The Blitz.

290
00:12:01,833 --> 00:12:04,951
No. I'm not The Blitz.

291
00:12:04,952 --> 00:12:06,319
I'm The Bueller.

292
00:12:07,121 --> 00:12:08,255
You know what this means.

293
00:12:08,256 --> 00:12:09,923
You're The Blitz.

294
00:12:10,691 --> 00:12:14,377
<i>MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz...</i>

295
00:12:16,364 --> 00:12:17,964
Oh, God, no!

296
00:12:17,965 --> 00:12:19,382
Life moves pretty fast, Barney.

297
00:12:19,383 --> 00:12:21,668
If you don't stop and look
around once in a while,

298
00:12:21,669 --> 00:12:22,969
you might miss it.

299
00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:25,305
Chicka-chicka!

300
00:12:27,842 --> 00:12:29,860
Happy Thanksgiving!

301
00:12:30,845 --> 00:12:32,179
Ted.

302
00:12:32,180 --> 00:12:33,713
Zoey.

303
00:12:34,749 --> 00:12:38,485
Best friend alert!

304
00:12:41,155 --> 00:12:44,090
Okay, the Turturkeykey
is officially cooking.

305
00:12:44,091 --> 00:12:45,859
Oh, God, that is disgusting!

306
00:12:45,860 --> 00:12:49,162
Okay, guys, that's starting to hurt.

307
00:12:49,163 --> 00:12:50,463
No... no, Ted.

308
00:12:50,464 --> 00:12:52,899
Random number guy just
sent me his wang back.

309
00:12:52,900 --> 00:12:54,134
Wow.

310
00:12:54,135 --> 00:12:57,554
You sent a wang out,
and you got a wang back.

311
00:12:57,555 --> 00:12:58,738
It's a boom-a-wang.

312
00:12:58,739 --> 00:13:00,207
Nice. Thank you.

313
00:13:00,208 --> 00:13:01,775
No, I meant the wang.

314
00:13:01,776 --> 00:13:03,577
Barney, could you get me some more ice?

315
00:13:03,578 --> 00:13:05,679
Sure.

316
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,714
But... no one move while I'm gone.

317
00:13:07,715 --> 00:13:09,216
I'm scared.

318
00:13:09,217 --> 00:13:10,183
You're safe.

319
00:13:10,184 --> 00:13:11,568
It's okay to leave the room.

320
00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:13,119
You have to actually leave the building

321
00:13:13,120 --> 00:13:14,254
for something cool to happen.

322
00:13:14,255 --> 00:13:15,755
Thanks.

323
00:13:15,756 --> 00:13:18,625
You're the only one who's
nice to me about this.

324
00:13:20,778 --> 00:13:22,963
Okay, I got to test this.

325
00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:30,103
What happened?

326
00:13:30,938 --> 00:13:32,505
You missed it!

327
00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:34,207
Dude, you walked out of the room,

328
00:13:34,208 --> 00:13:37,777
the laws of physics stopped and
the laws of awesome tripled.

329
00:13:38,713 --> 00:13:41,248
Aw, man! You said I could leave the room!

330
00:13:41,249 --> 00:13:43,383
I just wanted to see something cool happen.

331
00:13:44,018 --> 00:13:45,285
I'm sorry.

332
00:13:45,286 --> 00:13:47,554
But I was on that island for
what seems like eternity.

333
00:13:47,555 --> 00:13:49,589
I'm going to enjoy things on the other side.

334
00:13:49,590 --> 00:13:51,808
No! Y-You...

335
00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:53,093
Robin, Robin.

336
00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,729
I will pay you to be The Blitz.

337
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:57,814
$100! No-- $10,000.

338
00:13:57,815 --> 00:13:59,199
No-- 60 bucks.

339
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,268
That's a lot of money for someone like you.

340
00:14:01,269 --> 00:14:04,371
Dude, The Blitz isn't something
that can be bought or sold.

341
00:14:04,372 --> 00:14:06,273
Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity.

342
00:14:06,274 --> 00:14:07,540
Oh, what was that?

343
00:14:07,541 --> 00:14:09,442
I was distracted by the four-caret diamond

344
00:14:09,443 --> 00:14:11,111
your 53-year-old husband bought you.

345
00:14:11,112 --> 00:14:12,312
Facial!

346
00:14:12,313 --> 00:14:13,513
Now, if you'll excuse me,

347
00:14:13,514 --> 00:14:15,315
I have a turturkeykey to baste.

348
00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:16,416
I'm coming with you.

349
00:14:16,417 --> 00:14:18,752
No... I baste alone.

350
00:14:18,753 --> 00:14:20,453
Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted.

351
00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:22,422
Word play. Loving it.

352
00:14:22,423 --> 00:14:23,490
But relax.

353
00:14:23,491 --> 00:14:24,491
I've got a ton of sides

354
00:14:24,492 --> 00:14:25,959
to heat up since my plans fell through.

355
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:27,560
Who canceled? Your coven?

356
00:14:27,561 --> 00:14:29,996
Coven. Group of witches. Boom.

357
00:14:29,997 --> 00:14:32,666
Yeah. They were worn out from
putting that spell on your hair.

358
00:14:32,667 --> 00:14:34,267
Oh! Serve returned.

359
00:14:34,268 --> 00:14:35,535
Are you happy?

360
00:14:35,536 --> 00:14:36,870
You're ruining Thanksgiving.

361
00:14:36,871 --> 00:14:38,471
Well, you're not exactly who I thought

362
00:14:38,472 --> 00:14:40,040
I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either.

363
00:14:41,158 --> 00:14:43,193
God, I'm so happy to be here.

364
00:14:43,194 --> 00:14:45,478
My face hurts from smiling.

365
00:14:45,479 --> 00:14:47,146
Oh... I'm sorry, Lily.

366
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,782
I'm just never going to like that woman.

367
00:14:48,783 --> 00:14:50,200
Ted, give her a chance.

368
00:14:50,201 --> 00:14:51,551
Enemies can't become friends.

369
00:14:51,552 --> 00:14:52,886
Yes, they can.

370
00:14:52,887 --> 00:14:53,920
Right, guys?

371
00:14:55,873 --> 00:14:57,323
No, no, no. You guys can't be objective.

372
00:14:57,324 --> 00:14:58,658
You still feel guilty about last night.

373
00:14:58,659 --> 00:14:59,726
Well, let's get an outside opinion.

374
00:14:59,727 --> 00:15:00,760
Who are we gonna--

375
00:15:00,761 --> 00:15:02,495
"Dear Wang Guy..." Oh.

376
00:15:02,496 --> 00:15:05,398
"Can enemies ever be friends?

377
00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:07,000
Just wondering."

378
00:15:07,001 --> 00:15:08,501
Really?

379
00:15:08,502 --> 00:15:11,237
Wang Guy? We're asking Wang Guy?

380
00:15:11,238 --> 00:15:12,772
He's bold and uninhibited,

381
00:15:12,773 --> 00:15:14,140
so why not?

382
00:15:14,141 --> 00:15:17,410
And guys, you know what? For fun,
why don't we ask him

383
00:15:17,411 --> 00:15:19,179
what he does for a living?

384
00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:21,181
Wouldn't that be fun?

385
00:15:21,182 --> 00:15:22,849
Just ask... Aww.

386
00:15:22,850 --> 00:15:25,385
You've got a little crush
on Wang Guy, don't you?

387
00:15:25,386 --> 00:15:27,787
What? No. Shut up.

388
00:15:27,788 --> 00:15:29,155
I hate him.

389
00:15:29,156 --> 00:15:30,190
Oh, look.

390
00:15:30,191 --> 00:15:31,925
We got an answer. Here it is.

391
00:15:31,926 --> 00:15:34,995
"Yes, enemies can become friends.

392
00:15:34,996 --> 00:15:37,697
"Remember what Gandhi said.

393
00:15:37,698 --> 00:15:40,467
'Be the change you want
to see in the world.'"

394
00:15:40,468 --> 00:15:43,136
Uh, did Wang Guy just quote Gandhi?

395
00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:44,871
That is amazing.

396
00:15:44,872 --> 00:15:46,389
And I was here for it.

397
00:15:46,390 --> 00:15:49,376
Now Zoey is The Blitz. Ha, ha!

398
00:15:49,377 --> 00:15:51,878
Burn on her.

399
00:15:53,014 --> 00:15:54,247
Come on, man.

400
00:15:54,248 --> 00:15:56,082
<i>Don't be that Blitz.</i>

401
00:15:56,083 --> 00:15:57,784
I'm not any Blitz!

402
00:15:57,785 --> 00:15:58,952
You're The Blitz!

403
00:15:58,953 --> 00:16:00,553
You're all The Blitz!

404
00:16:00,554 --> 00:16:03,590
I slept with that cute
Indian girl who cuts my hair!

405
00:16:03,591 --> 00:16:05,458
What does that have to do with anything?

406
00:16:05,459 --> 00:16:06,559
Nothing! I just forgot

407
00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:09,496
to brag about it before!

408
00:16:09,497 --> 00:16:11,831
Guys, despite the wit
and wisdom of Wang Guy,

409
00:16:11,832 --> 00:16:14,200
Zoey and I are never going to be friends.

410
00:16:14,201 --> 00:16:17,237
We're just here for her oven and that's it.

411
00:16:17,238 --> 00:16:18,471
Whoa! Oh, my God!

412
00:16:18,472 --> 00:16:21,274
Did you do that on purpose?

413
00:16:21,275 --> 00:16:22,709
What? No. It was an accident.

414
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:23,777
Oh, yeah. Well, like this is.

415
00:16:23,778 --> 00:16:25,111
Oh, great. Real mature.

416
00:16:25,112 --> 00:16:26,946
Yeah, well, you started it.

417
00:16:28,132 --> 00:16:30,316
Just stop it!

418
00:16:30,317 --> 00:16:33,653
God, can't you two just
stop fighting for one day?

419
00:16:33,654 --> 00:16:36,823
Like, when the Roadrunner and the Coyote

420
00:16:36,824 --> 00:16:38,792
clocked out and had a beer together?

421
00:16:38,793 --> 00:16:41,828
Or-Or-Or Tom and Jerry
shared a cup of coffee.

422
00:16:41,829 --> 00:16:43,630
Lily, those are cartoon characters,

423
00:16:43,631 --> 00:16:45,565
and I'm pretty sure
you're making up episodes.

424
00:16:45,566 --> 00:16:48,334
And if Zoey is a cartoon character,

425
00:16:48,335 --> 00:16:50,503
she's Cinderella's evil stepmother!

426
00:16:50,504 --> 00:16:52,739
Oh, get out.

427
00:16:52,740 --> 00:16:53,907
All of you, out!

428
00:16:53,908 --> 00:16:55,475
But it's Thanksgiving.

429
00:16:55,476 --> 00:16:57,310
And I'm a part of it.

430
00:16:57,311 --> 00:16:58,745
Out!

431
00:17:01,282 --> 00:17:04,050
Wait... Where's Barney?

432
00:17:04,051 --> 00:17:05,835
Hey, guys, the most amazing
thing just happened

433
00:17:05,836 --> 00:17:07,320
to me in that other roo...

434
00:17:09,957 --> 00:17:12,125
Aw, man.

435
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,302
I don't get it. Why'd she just

436
00:17:17,935 --> 00:17:19,802
I don't get it. Why'd she just

437
00:17:19,803 --> 00:17:21,320
kick us out like that?

438
00:17:21,321 --> 00:17:22,972
<i> And then the cab driver said</i>

439
00:17:22,973 --> 00:17:25,107
<i>the last thing any of us wanted to hear.</i>

440
00:17:25,108 --> 00:17:26,442
Where to?

441
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,447
I guess we're going home.

442
00:17:33,650 --> 00:17:37,153
Yeah. I don't know where that is.

443
00:17:46,663 --> 00:17:48,931
Lily, where'd you get that?

444
00:17:48,932 --> 00:17:51,000
Oh.

445
00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:52,268
When Zoey booted us,

446
00:17:52,269 --> 00:17:54,737
it made me want to steal
something of hers again.

447
00:17:54,738 --> 00:17:58,391
Apartment full of designer labels,
and what do I grab?

448
00:17:58,392 --> 00:18:01,978
"Happy Turkey Day, Hannah. Love, Zoey."

449
00:18:01,979 --> 00:18:04,847
I wonder who Hannah is.

450
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:11,220
Hey, you guys should come to
my house for Thanksgiving.

451
00:18:11,221 --> 00:18:12,321
My husband always

452
00:18:12,322 --> 00:18:13,456
spends it with his daughter,

453
00:18:13,457 --> 00:18:15,057
so I'm going to be alone, anyway.

454
00:18:15,058 --> 00:18:16,492
Well, you're not exactly who I thought

455
00:18:16,493 --> 00:18:18,127
I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either.

456
00:18:18,128 --> 00:18:20,129
And if Zoey is a cartoon character,

457
00:18:20,130 --> 00:18:22,298
she's Cinderella's evil stepmother!

458
00:18:22,299 --> 00:18:24,200
Get out!

459
00:18:24,201 --> 00:18:25,768
All of you, out!

460
00:18:28,171 --> 00:18:30,223
We have to go back to Zoey's.

461
00:18:32,075 --> 00:18:34,510
You gotta throw me some addresses, buddy.

462
00:18:37,214 --> 00:18:39,382
Oh, God.

463
00:18:39,383 --> 00:18:41,584
What are you doing here?

464
00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:43,052
Barney let us in.

465
00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:45,087
Barney was here?

466
00:18:45,088 --> 00:18:46,255
I was walking around half-naked.

467
00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:48,157
Aw, man!

468
00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:50,293
Wait. Which half?

469
00:18:50,294 --> 00:18:52,612
Look, I'm sorry your
stepdaughter didn't want

470
00:18:52,613 --> 00:18:54,230
to spend Thanksgiving with you.

471
00:18:54,231 --> 00:18:55,865
How do you know that?

472
00:18:55,866 --> 00:18:57,199
I just do.

473
00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,768
It must be tough.

474
00:18:58,769 --> 00:19:02,538
It was the first Thanksgiving
Hannah agreed to spend with me,

475
00:19:02,539 --> 00:19:06,375
and then at the last minute,
she changed her mind.

476
00:19:07,311 --> 00:19:08,811
She hates my guts.

477
00:19:10,681 --> 00:19:11,914
I get that.

478
00:19:12,883 --> 00:19:16,085
Uh, you should hang on to this.

479
00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,637
You can give it to her next year.

480
00:19:17,638 --> 00:19:20,222
Yeah...

481
00:19:20,223 --> 00:19:21,691
Right.

482
00:19:21,692 --> 00:19:23,893
Next year.

483
00:19:23,894 --> 00:19:25,194
Hey, you never know.

484
00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:27,263
People don't stay enemies forever.

485
00:19:28,532 --> 00:19:31,534
And that's the story of how
Zoey and I became friends.

486
00:19:31,535 --> 00:19:32,568
Cheers.

487
00:19:32,569 --> 00:19:34,070
Cheers.

488
00:19:34,071 --> 00:19:35,104
Before we eat,

489
00:19:35,105 --> 00:19:36,372
we should take a group picture

490
00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:37,807
and send it to Wang Guy.

491
00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:38,908
Ooh. Oh. Great idea.

492
00:19:38,909 --> 00:19:39,842
All right.

493
00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:41,978
Okay.

494
00:19:41,979 --> 00:19:43,179
Here we go.

495
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:45,114
One, two, three.

496
00:19:46,216 --> 00:19:50,019
Ted, that is the best-looking turturkeykey

497
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,320
I have ever seen.

498
00:19:51,321 --> 00:19:52,722
Yeah. Yeah.

499
00:19:52,723 --> 00:19:54,190
Thank you. Let's just hope it tastes

500
00:19:54,191 --> 00:19:55,191
as good as it looks.

501
00:19:55,192 --> 00:19:56,525
<i> It didn't.</i>

502
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:58,594
<i>It tasted wrong.</i>

503
00:19:58,595 --> 00:19:59,845
Oops. We forgot to light the candles.

504
00:19:59,846 --> 00:20:02,365
Oh. Oh, yeah.

505
00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:04,233
<i>And just as Barney looked away,</i>

506
00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:06,469
<i>it happened.</i>

507
00:20:33,730 --> 00:20:36,432
The Gentleman!

508
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:39,135
What happened? I saw it!

509
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,521
Aw, come on, Blitz. Now it's just sad.

510
00:20:42,522 --> 00:20:44,707
Aw, man.

511
00:20:48,177 --> 00:20:49,494
Oh, go ahead.

512
00:20:49,495 --> 00:20:51,829
I forgot my jacket.

513
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:53,998
Oh, hold the door!

514
00:20:59,571 --> 00:21:01,239
Thank you, God!

515
00:21:01,240 --> 00:21:04,108
Aw, man!

516
00:21:04,109 --> 00:21:05,576
<i>MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz.</i>

517
00:21:05,577 --> 00:21:08,212
Synced by Jacobian @ HDbits.org

