1 00:00:57,632 --> 00:00:59,459 Amphetamines? 2 00:00:59,494 --> 00:01:01,925 No. 3 00:01:01,959 --> 00:01:05,092 Corticosteroids... either topical or inhaled? 4 00:01:05,126 --> 00:01:06,759 Uh, no. 5 00:01:06,793 --> 00:01:09,325 Excessive alcohol intake? 6 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:10,992 No. 7 00:01:11,026 --> 00:01:14,393 Withdrawal from excessive alcohol intake? 8 00:01:14,427 --> 00:01:16,093 No. 9 00:01:16,127 --> 00:01:19,093 And you said you don't drink coffee. 10 00:01:19,127 --> 00:01:20,627 That's right. I don't. 11 00:01:20,661 --> 00:01:24,461 And you're not currently taking anti-anxiety medication? 12 00:01:24,495 --> 00:01:26,428 I'm not. 13 00:01:26,462 --> 00:01:29,662 Um, do you have any interest 14 00:01:29,697 --> 00:01:33,063 in trying anti-anxiety medication? 15 00:01:34,765 --> 00:01:36,964 No, thank you. 16 00:01:36,998 --> 00:01:38,931 Okay. 17 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:42,666 Well, I'm gonna write down some names for you 18 00:01:42,700 --> 00:01:45,566 just in case you change your mind. 19 00:01:45,601 --> 00:01:48,034 Larry Friedman, my colleague, 20 00:01:48,068 --> 00:01:50,335 is an excellent psychiatrist. 21 00:01:51,703 --> 00:01:53,835 ( Theme music playing ) 22 00:01:53,836 --> 00:01:57,676 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 23 00:01:58,346 --> 00:02:02,368 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 24 00:02:11,010 --> 00:02:11,076 Paul: He didn't recommend you, by the way, 25 00:02:13,245 --> 00:02:15,812 so you might want to beef up 26 00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:18,179 on your contacts at Columbia. 27 00:02:18,214 --> 00:02:20,214 I know you got your degree there, 28 00:02:20,248 --> 00:02:22,881 but they seem to have forgotten all about you. 29 00:02:22,916 --> 00:02:25,516 How did it feel to get a second opinion? 30 00:02:25,551 --> 00:02:28,384 It sounds as if he confirmed what the first doctor told you. 31 00:02:28,419 --> 00:02:31,519 Uh-huh, another non-. 32 00:02:31,553 --> 00:02:33,053 Which is what? 33 00:02:33,087 --> 00:02:35,988 I'd like to hear you articulate what you heard him say. 34 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:37,789 "We'll have to wait and see." 35 00:02:37,823 --> 00:02:40,924 - Which means...? - That I'll have to wait and see. 36 00:02:40,958 --> 00:02:43,425 Because you're not exhibiting enough symptoms? 37 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:44,959 Yet. 38 00:02:44,994 --> 00:02:48,895 Not exhibiting them yet. 39 00:02:48,929 --> 00:02:51,530 I mean, what am I supposed to do 40 00:02:51,564 --> 00:02:53,597 after an appointment like that? 41 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,665 How am I... 42 00:02:55,700 --> 00:02:58,300 how am I meant to live my life? 43 00:02:58,334 --> 00:03:01,902 How am I supposed to make informed decisions about my life 44 00:03:01,936 --> 00:03:03,903 when I don't know for certain 45 00:03:03,937 --> 00:03:06,505 whether or not I have the goddamn disease 46 00:03:06,539 --> 00:03:08,572 or how severe it's going to be? 47 00:03:08,607 --> 00:03:10,574 Well, forgive me for saying so, 48 00:03:10,608 --> 00:03:12,575 but that doesn't sound too different 49 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,609 from what we all face every day, 50 00:03:14,644 --> 00:03:17,644 the general state of being for every person alive. 51 00:03:19,346 --> 00:03:21,613 Well, I... 52 00:03:21,648 --> 00:03:24,315 I asked him for a worst-case scenario, 53 00:03:24,349 --> 00:03:27,083 you know, how fast 54 00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:31,186 Parkinson's can actually progress. 55 00:03:31,220 --> 00:03:34,054 And he, you know, resisted for a while, 56 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,089 but finally he confirmed what... 57 00:03:36,123 --> 00:03:39,224 what I knew myself... 58 00:03:39,259 --> 00:03:42,093 that in extreme cases 59 00:03:42,127 --> 00:03:44,628 a patient can find himself completely paralyzed 60 00:03:44,663 --> 00:03:48,499 with advanced dementia within four to five years. 61 00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:51,069 Did he tell you what percentage of those patients 62 00:03:51,103 --> 00:03:53,505 face that accelerated form of the disease? 63 00:03:53,539 --> 00:03:57,041 Well, it's a pretty small number but... 64 00:03:57,076 --> 00:03:59,110 Less than half a percent. 65 00:03:59,145 --> 00:04:01,112 I confirmed it with a bit of research 66 00:04:01,146 --> 00:04:03,181 since you first came in. 67 00:04:03,215 --> 00:04:05,750 So let's be clear about the facts. 68 00:04:05,784 --> 00:04:08,753 We're talking about less than half a percent 69 00:04:08,787 --> 00:04:10,988 of people who have a disease 70 00:04:11,023 --> 00:04:13,624 that you've been told you probably don't have. 71 00:04:13,659 --> 00:04:15,626 Probably. 72 00:04:15,661 --> 00:04:17,862 You just talked about the difficulty 73 00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:20,631 of making decisions in your life when faced with 74 00:04:20,666 --> 00:04:23,634 what you see as the real uncertainty about your health. 75 00:04:23,669 --> 00:04:24,902 Mm-hmm. 76 00:04:24,937 --> 00:04:27,338 Let me ask you something: 77 00:04:27,373 --> 00:04:29,640 What would you do if you were told 78 00:04:29,675 --> 00:04:32,143 with absolute certainty that you were sick. 79 00:04:32,177 --> 00:04:35,746 If you only had a few years left to live, 80 00:04:35,781 --> 00:04:37,815 how would you choose to live them? 81 00:04:38,784 --> 00:04:42,119 If I knew that were true? 82 00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:43,821 Well... 83 00:04:43,855 --> 00:04:45,856 Maybe I'd lock up the office 84 00:04:45,891 --> 00:04:48,292 and travel the world. 85 00:04:50,495 --> 00:04:53,030 Maybe I'd move just closer to my kids. 86 00:04:53,064 --> 00:04:55,866 I don't really know. 87 00:04:55,900 --> 00:04:58,770 And what if somebody told you the opposite, 88 00:04:58,804 --> 00:05:01,406 told you with absolute certainty 89 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,542 that you were not sick? 90 00:05:04,577 --> 00:05:08,313 Would you also lock up your office, leave town, 91 00:05:08,347 --> 00:05:11,482 move closer to your kids? 92 00:05:11,517 --> 00:05:14,519 Or would you continue with life as it is... 93 00:05:14,553 --> 00:05:16,954 continue seeing yo patient 94 00:05:16,988 --> 00:05:18,790 dating your girlfriend? 95 00:05:18,824 --> 00:05:21,993 I... what point are you... 96 00:05:22,027 --> 00:05:23,961 are you trying to make? 97 00:05:23,996 --> 00:05:27,198 I think this continued state of wait-and-see 98 00:05:27,232 --> 00:05:31,335 is enabling you to live in a kind of stasis. 99 00:05:31,370 --> 00:05:34,004 It's like purgatory. 100 00:05:34,039 --> 00:05:36,540 I'd say hell is more like it. 101 00:05:36,575 --> 00:05:39,376 Okay, it's hell. 102 00:05:39,411 --> 00:05:41,378 I want you to recognize 103 00:05:41,413 --> 00:05:44,081 that in order to get out of this hell, 104 00:05:44,116 --> 00:05:47,451 you may have to make decisions about your life... 105 00:05:47,485 --> 00:05:49,453 what to change, what not to change... 106 00:05:49,487 --> 00:05:51,555 independent of this prognosis, 107 00:05:51,589 --> 00:05:54,591 to take action, or not, 108 00:05:54,626 --> 00:05:56,326 without knowing if you're sick. 109 00:05:56,361 --> 00:05:57,995 Action? But what... what... 110 00:05:58,029 --> 00:05:59,930 what kind of action do you mean? 111 00:05:59,964 --> 00:06:03,534 No, I'm-I'm... I'm really asking. 112 00:06:03,568 --> 00:06:06,403 I know that you've got this notion 113 00:06:06,437 --> 00:06:09,740 that I'm some kind of Hamlet incarnate, 114 00:06:09,774 --> 00:06:11,742 unable to act 115 00:06:11,776 --> 00:06:13,810 or unwilling. 116 00:06:13,845 --> 00:06:15,645 And I'm still not really sure 117 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,347 what it is that you're referring to, 118 00:06:17,382 --> 00:06:19,816 because your evidence keeps shifting. 119 00:06:19,851 --> 00:06:22,619 It's not as if I've been sitting on my ass doing nothing. 120 00:06:22,654 --> 00:06:26,023 I'm seeing doctors. I brought Max home. 121 00:06:26,057 --> 00:06:27,357 That's true. 122 00:06:27,392 --> 00:06:29,192 I mean, is there something specific 123 00:06:29,227 --> 00:06:31,194 you're looking for me to do? 124 00:06:31,229 --> 00:06:33,697 You talk about action, but I... 125 00:06:34,899 --> 00:06:37,167 I'm just not sure what you want from me, 126 00:06:37,201 --> 00:06:40,303 what... what exactly is so urgent. 127 00:06:40,338 --> 00:06:43,106 Did I say something was urgent? 128 00:06:43,140 --> 00:06:46,243 No, but you did call me at home. 129 00:06:46,277 --> 00:06:49,646 You left me a message at the beginning of the week. 130 00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:51,347 Yes, I did. 131 00:06:51,382 --> 00:06:53,683 I just wasn't clear what it was 132 00:06:53,718 --> 00:06:56,453 that you were saying in the message. 133 00:06:56,487 --> 00:06:59,689 Are you asking why I called? 134 00:06:59,724 --> 00:07:01,958 I am, yes. 135 00:07:01,992 --> 00:07:04,627 Were you encouraging me to act 136 00:07:04,662 --> 00:07:08,298 on anything in particular 137 00:07:08,332 --> 00:07:10,667 or was there some other reason? 138 00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:13,904 I think I left the reason why I called 139 00:07:13,938 --> 00:07:16,172 on your voicemail. 140 00:07:16,207 --> 00:07:19,543 I felt we left a great deal unfinished 141 00:07:19,577 --> 00:07:22,412 and we ended abruptly last week. 142 00:07:22,446 --> 00:07:24,614 I remember. 143 00:07:24,649 --> 00:07:26,616 I called to offer you another session 144 00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,852 if you felt you needed it. 145 00:07:28,886 --> 00:07:32,622 Needed it for what? 146 00:07:32,656 --> 00:07:35,858 To talk about what? 147 00:07:38,229 --> 00:07:39,529 What do you imagine? 148 00:07:39,563 --> 00:07:41,464 Don't do that. 149 00:07:41,498 --> 00:07:43,800 Please don't play that game. 150 00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,869 You called me. I didn't call you. 151 00:07:46,904 --> 00:07:49,439 You said that you had 152 00:07:49,473 --> 00:07:52,008 lingering concerns 153 00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:55,645 at half past 7:00 in the morning. 154 00:07:55,679 --> 00:07:57,980 I just want to understand 155 00:07:58,015 --> 00:08:02,919 what you felt was so... pressing. 156 00:08:02,953 --> 00:08:04,921 I thought we should revisit 157 00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:07,023 what you told me about Sunil, 158 00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:10,559 your reaction to your patient. 159 00:08:12,395 --> 00:08:14,296 That's why you called me? 160 00:08:14,331 --> 00:08:16,498 In part. 161 00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:18,467 You're shaking your head. 162 00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:21,603 Because last week you didn't want anything to do with Sunil. 163 00:08:21,638 --> 00:08:23,905 You barely let me get a word in. 164 00:08:23,940 --> 00:08:26,708 I think you're aware of why I was resistant. 165 00:08:26,743 --> 00:08:28,777 You don't want to be my supervisor. 166 00:08:28,811 --> 00:08:31,880 I don't, but I would like us to discuss 167 00:08:31,914 --> 00:08:33,615 how you're responding to Sunil... 168 00:08:33,649 --> 00:08:36,284 or not responding, for that matter, 169 00:08:36,319 --> 00:08:39,687 if you're in me sort of stasis 170 00:08:39,722 --> 00:08:41,556 as with your medical prognosis... 171 00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:43,358 a wait-and-see mode. 172 00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,794 I'd like to understand what you're trying to accomplish 173 00:08:45,828 --> 00:08:47,462 by telling me your concerns 174 00:08:47,496 --> 00:08:49,130 or insisting on my involvement. 175 00:08:49,165 --> 00:08:50,699 Were you trying to alarm me? 176 00:08:50,733 --> 00:08:52,701 I was asking your opinion. 177 00:08:52,735 --> 00:08:55,070 I thought, given the stakes, 178 00:08:55,104 --> 00:08:57,372 that you might be willing to engage. 179 00:08:57,406 --> 00:08:59,274 I'm engaging. 180 00:08:59,308 --> 00:09:01,376 Well, I appreciate that. 181 00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,712 Certain details you spoke about 182 00:09:03,746 --> 00:09:05,880 have stayed with me, 183 00:09:05,915 --> 00:09:08,550 beyond Sunil's volatile response 184 00:09:08,584 --> 00:09:11,119 to his daughter-in-law. 185 00:09:11,153 --> 00:09:13,655 There are small children in the house. 186 00:09:13,689 --> 00:09:15,556 Well, there's... there's no issue with... 187 00:09:15,591 --> 00:09:17,525 I mean, I... 188 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:21,529 I don't think you hear what I was telling you. 189 00:09:21,563 --> 00:09:23,364 That's why I bring it up now... 190 00:09:23,399 --> 00:09:25,767 in order to be clear about what you're telling me, 191 00:09:25,801 --> 00:09:29,137 if there's a genuine risk that needs to be addressed, 192 00:09:29,171 --> 00:09:32,974 and if so, to find out why you're not addressing it. 193 00:09:33,008 --> 00:09:35,009 I don't think the children are at risk. 194 00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:36,677 You're certain of that 195 00:09:36,712 --> 00:09:38,779 - mm-hmm. - And Julia? 196 00:09:40,082 --> 00:09:42,683 You seemed very alarmed last week, 197 00:09:42,718 --> 00:09:46,754 and now I can't tell if you're as concerned. 198 00:09:46,788 --> 00:09:51,358 Well, we had a very intense session on Monday, 199 00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:53,294 and I have to admit 200 00:09:53,328 --> 00:09:55,896 that things looked pretty grim at the beginning. 201 00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,131 Why was that? 202 00:09:57,165 --> 00:09:59,099 Julia came in to tell me that this was gonna be 203 00:09:59,134 --> 00:10:01,068 Sunil's last appointment. 204 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:04,371 She said that they weren't willing 205 00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:07,808 to keep paying for it. 206 00:10:07,842 --> 00:10:09,843 Did she give any explanation? 207 00:10:09,878 --> 00:10:13,113 There was a misunderstanding at home. 208 00:10:13,147 --> 00:10:15,716 Sunil pushed past her 209 00:10:15,750 --> 00:10:18,718 and she fell into a bookcase. 210 00:10:18,753 --> 00:10:21,054 She had a bandage on her arm. 211 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:22,689 He pushed her into a bookcase? 212 00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:25,025 Well, he said that he pushed past her. 213 00:10:25,059 --> 00:10:29,729 I... honestly, I... I think it was... 214 00:10:29,764 --> 00:10:31,998 I think it was an accident. 215 00:10:32,033 --> 00:10:33,500 Okay. 216 00:10:33,534 --> 00:10:36,236 But, y know, it was enough for her and Arun 217 00:10:36,270 --> 00:10:38,538 to decide that... 218 00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:41,407 Therapy wasn't working. 219 00:10:41,442 --> 00:10:44,844 The fact that Julia showed up in your office with an injury... 220 00:10:44,879 --> 00:10:48,181 d you take that opportunity to sit down with the both of them 221 00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,683 and discuss the potential for violence 222 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,485 that you've been so concerned about? 223 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,487 Sunil came into the room. 224 00:10:54,522 --> 00:10:58,091 I told him that I believed it would be a mistake 225 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,360 if we discontinued his treatment, 226 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,328 I felt that stopping at this juncture 227 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,465 would be wrong. I... 228 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,700 it took some work, but I convinced him 229 00:11:07,734 --> 00:11:10,503 and he's coming back next week. 230 00:11:10,537 --> 00:11:12,205 He's able to pay his own way? 231 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:14,507 No, he can't do that, so I offered... 232 00:11:14,541 --> 00:11:16,609 I offered to see him pro bono. 233 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,577 Really? 234 00:11:18,612 --> 00:11:20,746 You know, I have to say this: 235 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,748 It's just curious to me 236 00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:26,318 to hear you so suddenly invested 237 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,387 in... in... in this issue. 238 00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:31,357 Aren't you conscious of the fact 239 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,692 that we're now playing out 240 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:36,328 the fantasy 241 00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:39,465 that I revealed to you last week, 242 00:11:39,499 --> 00:11:43,636 the one that you worked so hard to get me to disclose? 243 00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:46,572 What fantasy is that? 244 00:11:46,606 --> 00:11:48,540 You know, that we would 245 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:52,177 discuss our patients together, 246 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,146 give each other advice 247 00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,182 about our difficult cases. 248 00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,017 You don't remember that? 249 00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,587 I remember. 250 00:12:01,621 --> 00:12:04,690 You described us as having a dinner... 251 00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:08,060 a meal... a glass of red wine while we talked. 252 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:11,230 I don't think I said "red wine." 253 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,698 Maybe not, but... 254 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:17,202 you must see that what's going on 255 00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,505 might play into that fantasy. 256 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,808 I do see that. 257 00:12:22,842 --> 00:12:25,343 Did you see it when you picked up the phone 258 00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,213 to call me on Tuesday morning? 259 00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:32,784 I felt... 260 00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:36,221 I found myself worried that I was negligent last week. 261 00:12:37,156 --> 00:12:39,391 I was concerned 262 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:41,860 the situation might deserve more attention. 263 00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,528 At 7:30 in the morning. 264 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:45,263 Sorry? 265 00:12:45,297 --> 00:12:47,098 Don't you think that was... 266 00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:51,302 I mean, don't you think that was kind of early? 267 00:12:53,405 --> 00:12:55,339 Were you already at the office? 268 00:12:55,374 --> 00:12:57,074 Why do you ask? 269 00:12:57,109 --> 00:13:00,044 Because I know you weren't. 270 00:13:00,078 --> 00:13:02,046 The caller I.D. On my phone 271 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,114 wasn't your office number. 272 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:07,051 That's right. 273 00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:09,286 I don't think I'd gone in yet. 274 00:13:09,321 --> 00:13:12,489 So you were at home, 275 00:13:12,524 --> 00:13:15,459 having breakfast maybe? 276 00:13:17,695 --> 00:13:19,963 Were you hoping to talk over a meal 277 00:13:19,998 --> 00:13:22,766 about my patient's dream 278 00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:24,735 and what I should 279 00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:27,137 or what I shouldn't do about it? 280 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:30,974 Was that the reason you called? 281 00:13:31,008 --> 00:13:35,145 Or maybe... maybe it's more than that. 282 00:13:35,179 --> 00:13:39,049 Look, I... 283 00:13:39,083 --> 00:13:42,619 I guess, you know, I just... 284 00:13:42,653 --> 00:13:45,622 I just want us to be honest 285 00:13:45,656 --> 00:13:48,959 about what's happening here. 286 00:13:48,993 --> 00:13:52,629 Tell me what you think is happening. 287 00:13:54,599 --> 00:13:56,733 - I... - ( Phone rings ) 288 00:13:56,767 --> 00:13:58,001 I'm sorry. 289 00:13:58,035 --> 00:14:00,170 I thought I'd turned the ringer off. 290 00:14:04,542 --> 00:14:06,376 ( Beeps ) 291 00:14:14,018 --> 00:14:16,686 Sorry about that. 292 00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:24,860 You said you wanted to be honest 293 00:14:24,895 --> 00:14:26,495 about what's happening here. 294 00:14:26,530 --> 00:14:28,831 No no, it's... 295 00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:32,334 it's fine. 296 00:14:32,369 --> 00:14:35,538 It doesn't matter. 297 00:14:35,572 --> 00:14:37,306 Perhaps it does. 298 00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:40,376 Is there anything more you want to say about it? 299 00:14:42,746 --> 00:14:46,148 You felt that by my calling in the morning... 300 00:14:46,182 --> 00:14:48,850 could... could we just not? 301 00:14:48,885 --> 00:14:52,287 I can see how, given the kind of scenario you envisioned, you might... 302 00:14:52,322 --> 00:14:55,857 for Christ's sake, please let's just forget it, okay? 303 00:14:58,261 --> 00:15:00,262 You're very upset with me. 304 00:15:00,296 --> 00:15:02,530 I probably should have thought more carefully 305 00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,399 about the timing of my call. 306 00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:06,201 I just asked you if we could stop. 307 00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:08,737 I understand you don't want to discuss that any further... 308 00:15:08,771 --> 00:15:10,905 that's fine, we don't have to... 309 00:15:10,940 --> 00:15:15,143 but I would like to us to go back to the reason I called you. 310 00:15:15,177 --> 00:15:18,213 Frankly, I felt you put me in a difficult spot. 311 00:15:18,247 --> 00:15:21,783 You brought up sunil in the last minutes of our session 312 00:15:21,817 --> 00:15:23,551 and it was hard for me to tell 313 00:15:23,586 --> 00:15:25,320 if there was a legitimate danger 314 00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:28,389 or if you were simply trying to draw me in. 315 00:15:28,424 --> 00:15:31,659 I do wonder if you're trying to hand over your worry to me, 316 00:15:31,694 --> 00:15:34,395 to somehow leave me to deal with it 317 00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:36,197 so you won't have to. 318 00:15:36,231 --> 00:15:38,466 ( Harrumphs ) 319 00:15:40,736 --> 00:15:42,904 I gather you disagree. 320 00:15:44,139 --> 00:15:45,807 Can you tell me what you're thinking? 321 00:15:45,841 --> 00:15:49,510 I'm thinking I should never have asked you about sunil in the first place. 322 00:15:49,545 --> 00:15:53,581 I guess I should have known how you'd see it. 323 00:15:53,615 --> 00:15:55,316 - How is that? - You just said it. 324 00:15:55,350 --> 00:15:57,818 You think he's a menace to society 325 00:15:57,853 --> 00:16:00,221 and I'm some kind of paralyzed fool. 326 00:16:00,255 --> 00:16:02,390 It's not as if I haven't given serious thought 327 00:16:02,424 --> 00:16:04,525 to what to do here. But I think it's easy, 328 00:16:04,559 --> 00:16:06,660 from where you sit, to jump to conclusions, 329 00:16:06,695 --> 00:16:09,997 to twist the evidence. You don't see the intricacies. 330 00:16:10,031 --> 00:16:13,434 Do you want to help me with those intricacies? 331 00:16:13,468 --> 00:16:16,370 I'd like to hear more about your session this week, 332 00:16:16,404 --> 00:16:18,706 why you decided to see sunil free of charge, 333 00:16:18,740 --> 00:16:20,307 what your thinking was. 334 00:16:21,776 --> 00:16:24,478 I'm also curious about what I see as your clear 335 00:16:24,512 --> 00:16:27,481 identification with sunil, how strong it might be. 336 00:16:27,515 --> 00:16:29,183 What does that mean? 337 00:16:29,217 --> 00:16:31,351 How much you see yourself in him. 338 00:16:31,386 --> 00:16:34,087 Look, I know what "identification" means. 339 00:16:34,122 --> 00:16:36,289 I'd like to know what you're talking about. 340 00:16:36,324 --> 00:16:39,860 You've spoken many times about his experience as an immigrant, 341 00:16:39,894 --> 00:16:42,395 the depth of his alienation... 342 00:16:42,430 --> 00:16:45,031 something you've also encountered. 343 00:16:45,066 --> 00:16:47,033 You're both around the same age, 344 00:16:47,068 --> 00:16:49,102 lead somewhat isolated lives. 345 00:16:49,137 --> 00:16:51,605 Do you have any reaction to what I'm saying? 346 00:16:51,639 --> 00:16:54,307 Oh, I'm enjoying it immensely. 347 00:16:54,342 --> 00:16:56,509 Just let me know when you're done, okay? 348 00:16:57,411 --> 00:16:59,145 I'm done. 349 00:16:59,180 --> 00:17:01,581 Okay, so it's my turn now? 350 00:17:01,615 --> 00:17:03,583 Yes, I do have 351 00:17:03,618 --> 00:17:06,886 a great deal of sympathy for sunil. 352 00:17:06,921 --> 00:17:10,323 And I feel that I've got a... 353 00:17:10,357 --> 00:17:15,061 a special window into his struggles, 354 00:17:15,095 --> 00:17:18,998 but it doesn't mean that I've somehow lost perspective. 355 00:17:19,033 --> 00:17:22,802 The truth is, I have an instinct about him. 356 00:17:22,836 --> 00:17:25,171 It's just... I can't explain it. 357 00:17:25,205 --> 00:17:28,541 It's a gut feeling that I have sitting opposite him. 358 00:17:28,575 --> 00:17:32,145 I just know... I just know he's not a violent man. 359 00:17:32,179 --> 00:17:34,080 And I have to admit I'm... 360 00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:37,183 I'm kind of having a hard time following your reasoning. 361 00:17:37,217 --> 00:17:39,452 I know you think that I'm avoiding a decision, 362 00:17:39,486 --> 00:17:41,921 that I'm overinvested, that I'm in denial... 363 00:17:41,955 --> 00:17:44,290 whatever way you want to put it. 364 00:17:44,324 --> 00:17:46,292 But you see, I see it 365 00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,960 as me taking a bold step. 366 00:17:47,994 --> 00:17:51,463 I've offered to see this man for free 367 00:17:51,498 --> 00:17:54,233 in order to keep him in treatment... 368 00:17:54,267 --> 00:17:56,502 the treatment he desperately needs... 369 00:17:56,536 --> 00:17:59,205 which, by the way, it has been working. 370 00:17:59,239 --> 00:18:01,173 And still you... 371 00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:03,876 you seem to criticize me for it. 372 00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,678 Why are you convinced it's working? 373 00:18:05,712 --> 00:18:09,782 Because, look, the therapy gives him an outlet for his anger. 374 00:18:09,816 --> 00:18:11,784 I've gotten him to express himself, 375 00:18:11,818 --> 00:18:14,520 to reveal these violent fantasies 376 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:17,156 instead of letting them fester inside of him. 377 00:18:17,190 --> 00:18:19,892 The fact that we're openly discussing them means 378 00:18:19,926 --> 00:18:21,960 that he is keeping them under control. 379 00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:23,929 They're just fantasies. 380 00:18:23,963 --> 00:18:26,031 I mean, do I really need to explain this? 381 00:18:26,065 --> 00:18:28,767 You're sitting there like I'm trying to sell you 382 00:18:28,801 --> 00:18:30,736 a moldy carpet or something. 383 00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:33,839 I'm simply listening to what you're saying. 384 00:18:33,873 --> 00:18:36,408 No, you're sitting there smug, you're judging, 385 00:18:36,442 --> 00:18:40,312 you e superior and you're remote, 386 00:18:40,346 --> 00:18:43,615 like a freudian ice queen 387 00:18:43,649 --> 00:18:47,886 convinced that I'm some kind of cripple. 388 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,390 I think we ought to talk about where this anger is coming from. 389 00:18:51,424 --> 00:18:53,091 It's coming from the fact 390 00:18:53,126 --> 00:18:55,093 that you won't listen to what I'm saying. 391 00:18:55,128 --> 00:18:57,329 You don't trust me to judge 392 00:18:57,363 --> 00:18:59,965 if my own patient is dangerous. 393 00:18:59,999 --> 00:19:02,267 Look, if sunil wasn't coming back, 394 00:19:02,301 --> 00:19:04,703 if he ended his therapy and he was out there, 395 00:19:04,737 --> 00:19:06,538 then I'd say sure, there's a problem. 396 00:19:06,572 --> 00:19:08,540 I'd say go ahead and worry. 397 00:19:08,574 --> 00:19:10,575 But he is coming back. He's talking. 398 00:19:10,609 --> 00:19:12,844 He trusts me. 399 00:19:12,878 --> 00:19:15,380 Somebody who's actually gonna hurt another person 400 00:19:15,414 --> 00:19:17,682 doesn't hand you a cricket bat and say, 401 00:19:17,716 --> 00:19:19,617 "take it away from me." 402 00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:22,720 A man who's actually gonna hurt somebody doesn't say anything. 403 00:19:22,755 --> 00:19:24,489 He just goes ahead and he fucking does it. 404 00:19:24,523 --> 00:19:26,724 Sunil handed you a cricket bat? 405 00:19:26,759 --> 00:19:29,560 He gave it to me for safekeeping. 406 00:19:29,595 --> 00:19:31,963 His son was going away, and he... 407 00:19:31,997 --> 00:19:34,899 and he felt that I should hold on to it. 408 00:19:34,933 --> 00:19:37,501 Why would he want you to hold on to it? 409 00:19:37,536 --> 00:19:40,004 Because he... he was... 410 00:19:40,038 --> 00:19:41,972 he didn't want to have it around the house. 411 00:19:42,007 --> 00:19:43,908 And you took this as a good sign? 412 00:19:43,942 --> 00:19:46,110 This is kind of pointless, don't you think? 413 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:47,945 I've said I made a mistake 414 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,913 bringing sunil up in the first place. 415 00:19:49,948 --> 00:19:52,082 You've said you don't want to supervise me. 416 00:19:52,117 --> 00:19:56,120 You'd rather not indulge my fantasy. 417 00:19:56,154 --> 00:19:58,389 I'm not sure that I still have it but... 418 00:19:58,423 --> 00:20:01,658 so why don't we just both respect that? 419 00:20:01,693 --> 00:20:03,393 Several minutes ago you were quite happy 420 00:20:03,428 --> 00:20:05,295 that I'd engaged with you on this topic. 421 00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:06,864 Please, can we go back 422 00:20:06,898 --> 00:20:08,866 to talking about something more pleasant... 423 00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,400 Parkinson's maybe, 424 00:20:10,435 --> 00:20:14,104 Max and Steve, global warming? 425 00:20:14,138 --> 00:20:16,907 My pregnancy? 426 00:20:19,577 --> 00:20:21,211 How your noticing it earlier 427 00:20:21,245 --> 00:20:23,380 might be affecting our discussion? 428 00:20:24,816 --> 00:20:27,550 Is this your way of telling me that 429 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:31,021 you are pregnant? 430 00:20:31,055 --> 00:20:34,724 I was under the impression you noticed a few minutes ago. 431 00:20:36,794 --> 00:20:38,328 So you are pregnant. 432 00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,930 I am. 433 00:20:42,933 --> 00:20:45,401 Well, are you also planning 434 00:20:45,436 --> 00:20:47,103 to tell me where you've registered, 435 00:20:47,137 --> 00:20:48,905 so I can send you a baby shower gift? 436 00:20:48,939 --> 00:20:52,775 I wasn't planning on doing that. 437 00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:55,411 Am I wrong? Had you not noticed? 438 00:20:55,446 --> 00:20:57,079 When are you due? 439 00:20:57,114 --> 00:20:59,015 March. 440 00:21:00,451 --> 00:21:02,752 - Does it upset you to hear that? - No. 441 00:21:02,786 --> 00:21:04,954 I have to say, you seem upset, as if... 442 00:21:04,988 --> 00:21:06,188 as if what? 443 00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:08,057 As if it's some kind of betrayal, as if... 444 00:21:08,091 --> 00:21:09,625 this is fucking ridiculous. 445 00:21:09,660 --> 00:21:12,094 - What is? - And it's cruel. 446 00:21:12,129 --> 00:21:14,830 It's narcissistic. 447 00:21:17,501 --> 00:21:19,969 You deliberately encouraged me 448 00:21:20,003 --> 00:21:21,937 to talk about these 449 00:21:23,039 --> 00:21:24,940 stupid fantasies. 450 00:21:24,975 --> 00:21:28,410 I have to wonder if all analysts simply get off 451 00:21:28,445 --> 00:21:31,680 on their patients' imagined relationships with them. 452 00:21:31,715 --> 00:21:32,848 Are you? 453 00:21:32,882 --> 00:21:36,251 While I sit here and make a fool of myself, 454 00:21:36,286 --> 00:21:40,355 spinning out these idiotic tales 455 00:21:40,390 --> 00:21:43,158 of having drinks together 456 00:21:43,193 --> 00:21:46,895 and dinner and discussing our work 457 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,565 and how you might be lonely 458 00:21:49,599 --> 00:21:52,901 and how you might understand 459 00:21:52,935 --> 00:21:55,137 my miserable fucking life. 460 00:21:55,171 --> 00:21:57,806 And you just sit there and you nod placidly. 461 00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:01,409 And you encouraged me 462 00:22:01,444 --> 00:22:05,547 to indulge in these delusions. 463 00:22:05,581 --> 00:22:07,949 And all the while you... 464 00:22:07,983 --> 00:22:10,785 you hoard this information that... 465 00:22:12,855 --> 00:22:15,223 You're in a happy relationship, 466 00:22:15,257 --> 00:22:18,393 with a growing family. 467 00:22:18,427 --> 00:22:20,228 Is that what you assume? 468 00:22:20,262 --> 00:22:21,496 Stop it. 469 00:22:21,530 --> 00:22:23,231 Just fucking stop it, okay? 470 00:22:23,265 --> 00:22:25,433 Who cares what I assume or don't assume? 471 00:22:25,467 --> 00:22:27,368 It's all a crock of shit anyway. 472 00:22:27,403 --> 00:22:29,737 You know, it's all designed 473 00:22:29,772 --> 00:22:31,773 to give power and thrills 474 00:22:31,807 --> 00:22:34,976 to the sphinx-like doctor 475 00:22:35,010 --> 00:22:38,413 at the expense of the humiliated patient. 476 00:22:38,447 --> 00:22:40,381 I never intended to humiliate you. 477 00:22:40,416 --> 00:22:43,484 Oh well, that's comforting to hear. Unintended humiliation 478 00:22:43,519 --> 00:22:45,553 is much easier to swallow, don't you think? 479 00:22:45,587 --> 00:22:47,555 You're really angry with me. 480 00:22:47,589 --> 00:22:50,057 I don't even know you. How could I be angry with you? 481 00:22:50,092 --> 00:22:52,026 - Paul. - What? 482 00:22:52,060 --> 00:22:54,729 Are you gonna encourage me to talk about how furious I am 483 00:22:54,763 --> 00:22:57,932 at some self-projected phantasm? 484 00:22:59,367 --> 00:23:02,269 How absurd and navel-gazing can one get? 485 00:23:02,304 --> 00:23:03,738 I want to go. 486 00:23:03,772 --> 00:23:08,008 There's something I want to say to you before you leave. 487 00:23:08,043 --> 00:23:09,610 I'm worried about you. 488 00:23:09,644 --> 00:23:11,479 ( Harrumphs ) 489 00:23:11,513 --> 00:23:13,447 I don't think you understand 490 00:23:13,482 --> 00:23:16,984 the gravity of the situation you're in with sunil. 491 00:23:17,019 --> 00:23:19,787 I don't understand the gravity? 492 00:23:19,821 --> 00:23:22,356 I don't think that you see the danger 493 00:23:22,390 --> 00:23:24,358 in what you're telling me to do, 494 00:23:24,392 --> 00:23:27,661 what it would mean to be wrong, 495 00:23:27,696 --> 00:23:30,931 to compromise the confidentiality of a patient like sunil. 496 00:23:30,966 --> 00:23:34,301 Do you understand what it took to earn that trust in the first place... 497 00:23:34,336 --> 00:23:36,403 the time, the care, the... 498 00:23:36,438 --> 00:23:39,073 talk about a betrayal. 499 00:23:39,107 --> 00:23:42,176 Paul, he handed you a weapon. 500 00:23:42,210 --> 00:23:43,744 A weapon? 501 00:23:43,778 --> 00:23:45,245 You need to take a step back 502 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,347 and look at this situation clearly. 503 00:23:47,382 --> 00:23:49,116 You have options. 504 00:23:49,150 --> 00:23:52,119 You don't need to jump to notifying the authorities. 505 00:23:52,153 --> 00:23:54,755 You can include his family first, 506 00:23:54,789 --> 00:23:58,692 tell them about his violent impulses. 507 00:23:58,726 --> 00:24:00,660 We just talked about 508 00:24:00,695 --> 00:24:03,263 the different ways you identify with sunil. 509 00:24:03,297 --> 00:24:07,034 I think I'm becoming aware of yet another connection. 510 00:24:07,068 --> 00:24:08,969 What are you talking about? 511 00:24:09,003 --> 00:24:11,438 Sunil's a lonely man in his 50s, 512 00:24:11,472 --> 00:24:14,107 attracted to a younger woman who's unavailable to him. 513 00:24:14,142 --> 00:24:18,311 Amazing. It's amazing, really. 514 00:24:18,346 --> 00:24:22,482 I mean, are you not... are you not embarrassed 515 00:24:22,517 --> 00:24:24,918 to bring everything back to you? 516 00:24:24,952 --> 00:24:27,687 It's really that irresistible? 517 00:24:27,722 --> 00:24:31,725 Sunil has obviously shown a tremendous rage towards Julia. 518 00:24:31,759 --> 00:24:33,994 The way you looked at me just now... 519 00:24:34,028 --> 00:24:35,996 are you suggesting that I can't distinguish 520 00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:39,333 my own anger from sunil's? 521 00:24:39,367 --> 00:24:41,868 It's a radically different situation. 522 00:24:41,903 --> 00:24:44,671 It is, and you're a radically different man. 523 00:24:44,706 --> 00:24:47,474 I can feel how angry you are at me. 524 00:24:47,508 --> 00:24:49,109 It's visceral. 525 00:24:49,143 --> 00:24:51,244 And yet I don't feel worried that you're going to 526 00:24:51,279 --> 00:24:53,847 come across this coffee table and strangle me. 527 00:24:53,881 --> 00:24:56,750 I'm not as certain that your patient 528 00:24:56,784 --> 00:24:58,685 is as in control of his emotions. 529 00:24:58,719 --> 00:25:00,587 You don't even know sunil. 530 00:25:00,621 --> 00:25:01,855 That's right. I don't. 531 00:25:01,889 --> 00:25:03,590 Now how well do you know him? 532 00:25:03,624 --> 00:25:06,025 Now how clearly, would you say, 533 00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:07,894 you're able to see him? 534 00:25:09,863 --> 00:25:11,664 You talked to me so many times 535 00:25:11,699 --> 00:25:14,400 about feeling dissatisfied in your work. 536 00:25:14,435 --> 00:25:17,637 You called psychotherapy a crock of shit this afternoon, 537 00:25:17,671 --> 00:25:21,774 and yet you've done nothing about that dissatisfaction. 538 00:25:21,808 --> 00:25:23,743 Are you secretly hoping 539 00:25:23,777 --> 00:25:26,812 this situation with sunil might explode, 540 00:25:26,847 --> 00:25:30,115 that it'll save you from having to make a decision 541 00:25:30,150 --> 00:25:32,451 to change your life on your own? 542 00:25:32,486 --> 00:25:35,187 Because if it does explode, 543 00:25:35,221 --> 00:25:37,423 you will have destroyed your career... 544 00:25:39,492 --> 00:25:42,394 And you will always know you could have done something 545 00:25:42,428 --> 00:25:45,097 to protect a woman and her children. 546 00:26:12,291 --> 00:26:15,327 ( Phone ringing ) 547 00:26:16,829 --> 00:26:18,496 Julia: Hello. 548 00:26:19,432 --> 00:26:21,066 Hello? 549 00:26:21,100 --> 00:26:24,569 Hello, is this Julia? 550 00:26:24,604 --> 00:26:26,972 Yes. 551 00:26:27,006 --> 00:26:30,408 Hello, Julia. This is Paul weston. 552 00:26:31,510 --> 00:26:33,945 Do you have a minute? 553 00:26:35,281 --> 00:26:37,582 ( Theme music playing ) 554 00:26:37,583 --> 00:26:41,965 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 555 00:26:42,644 --> 00:26:47,773 Sync by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com