Are you drunk?
This ain't the way it's gonna be.
Can he play? He loves football. He just doesn't know it yet.
I came here to tell you
that the whole thing between you and me...
TAYLOR: You know Vince's dad?
He was a drug dealer.
Used to be one of the baddest cats we had in town.
Tell me you're done with the drugs.
I will never let that happen again.
Luke, this is Karl Gage from over at TMU.
I'd like to sit down with you sometime.
Why don't we bring you over to TMU?
You can look around the campus, meet the coaches.
Hello, Vincent. I'm the head coach here.
Set, hut, hut.
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
What are you doing? What are you doing?
I was gonna take it up the gap.
What are the corners playing?
Cover two. Cover two.
And in cover two, the tight end is open between the safeties.
So what the hell are you doing?
I was gonna take it up the gap.
I don't want you taking it up the gap,
'cause I don't want you running eight yards and getting hit,
'cause I'd like to go to the playoffs this year.
Would you like to come with me? Yes, sir.
Then don't take it up the gap.
Do it my way, stay in the pocket,
make the read, look for the slant.
And if the slant's not there, what do you do?
I dump it off to Luke. That's right.
That's good, so let's do that. Line it up.
Hey, you know what way we're gonna do it, don't you?
Your way, Coach. Every time.
My way!
Hut, hut.
TAYLOR: There you go. Way to hang on.
That's nice, because what is that? What way is that?
That's your way. That's my way.
The right way, Coach. My way is the right way,
the good way, the smart way.
It's the path to salvation, gentlemen.
Three-step drop, Coach?
Boy's a natural scrambler. I don't know why you want to put a leash on him.
You're slipping, Karl.
They said they've been watching me since summer league.
They wanted a verbal commitment.
They shouldn't even be talking directly to you. You're a junior.
I didn't know that.
That guy Karl said, "Come in the room,"
and when I walked in they were all just sitting there waiting to meet me.
I said, "I thought you wanted Cafferty."
He said, "We do.
"We're talking to you right now."
It's a calf-cow.
A what?
Does anyone else know about this?
No. Well, my mom and my dad.
I guess that's it.
How's that going with your dad?
Found some middle ground.
Good.
Are they gonna be up there for the game?
No, my mom's gotta work, but my dad'll be there.
I'll tell you what,
once we all get up there, you, me and your dad
are gonna get together and we're gonna
have a little talk, how's that?
Sounds good.
Does Luke know about this?
No, it's his moment.
Didn't want to take it away from him.
Keep it that way.
STAN: Everybody have a seat!
Have a seat now! Let's go!
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
Sit down!
Let's go! PLAYER: Sit down!
CROWLEY: Thank you, Coach.
We're gonna take a little road trip, gentlemen.
(CHEERING)
South King High School is 250 miles
south and east of where we are.
It may sound like fun now,
but five hours down highway 40,
your butts are gonna be screaming.
My butt is strong.
I've been working on my butt crunches.
(PLAYERS LAUGHING)
STAN: Sit down.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
All right, your newest teammate,
Buddy, Jr. Here,
is passing out your full itinerary.
You'll notice there's a lack of down time.
You'll also notice we've carved out study time.
You good? Yeah, we're good.
Hey, guys.
Hey, good work this week so far.
Let's keep it up, yeah?
ALL: Yes, sir.
Listen, I hear everything that goes on around here.
There's nothing that misses my ears.
I know who it is doing the talking around here,
and I know who's not doing the talking.
I hear talk about last year's forfeit,
the season opener.
I don't mind that. Go ahead and say it.
But I don't want any talk about revenge going on around here,
'cause when you talk about revenge
and you're playing football with revenge,
you're playing stupid football, and I'm not gonna have it.
Understood?
ALL: Yes, sir.
Success is not a goal.
It's a by-product.
So we'll put the work in,
we'll stick to the game plan,
and we will play the way that...
Play Taylor-ball!
(CHEERING)
Coach Spivey is gonna be with the defense.
Coach Crowley will be with the offense.
Coach Riggins will be with special teams today.
Understood?
ALL: Yes, sir.
Thank you. STAN: Get geared up, let's go.
Let's go.
(SIGHS)
Busted. Who's the guy?
I want a name.
I want to sleep.
You need a shower.
Ah, ah, ah, no time for naps.
We have class.
How about you go for me
and take some notes, and I owe you one?
Sign in for me at poetry reading tomorrow?
Okay, deal.
And your mom called. Twice.
I think you need to go to school.
Go.
(DOOR CLOSING)
(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)
You know, it's very controversial,
we don't even say it,
but hazing is an important ritual.
You know, back in the old days,
it used to be shave the whole body,
adhesive tape,
leave us out in the country naked
just to find our way home.
So it's a lot kinder now.
Don't worry, you can handle it, baby. You can handle it.
They can kill you, but they can't eat you, okay?
I see you made the roommate list.
I sure did. I put you with Luke.
Me and Luke. No, no, you should have put us in the same room.
Baby, please.
But I am glad you got your own room.
Yeah, there ain't no other girls on this team.
You're right. There's no girls, there's no moms,
no aunties, no little brothers, no nothing.
Just you and me.
So after the game, I'm coming by to... You know.
Win the game,
and we'll see what kind of doors open for you, okay?
Are you trying to motivate me?
'Cause it's working.
It's working, mmm-hmm.
(BAND PLAYING)
HASTINGS: Hey, Coach.
Are we there yet?
(LAUGHTER)
TAMl: I miss you so much.
Just dying to talk to you,
but I know you're off getting smart somewhere.
And your dad just went off for an away game,
so I'm all by myself with Gracie Belle this weekend, missing you.
Anyway, call me when you can.
Hope you're having a great time.
And I love you so much.
Bye.
Hey. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt.
That was something, huh?
Yeah, it was. Pretty awesome.
So it looks like it's a guys' weekend.
So maybe a girls' weekend.
Why shouldn't there be?
So let's go see a movie tomorrow or something.
Oh, you're so sweet.
Golly, I haven't seen a movie in forever.
Well, we should. Well, I would love to. I can't 'cause of the baby.
Oh, right, right, right.
Well, what if I brought over some white wine and Chinese?
That would be great.
Yeah, really? Yeah.
Okay, I'm gonna call you tomorrow.
All right. Thanks. Okay, great.
All right, well, have a good night.
Go Lions. Go Lions.
See you tomorrow. Have a good one.
PLAYER: Yeah!
SPIVEY: Give me this beat old school.
(RAPPING) My name is Spivey
You know I'm the best
I get all the ladies
And I hit 'em with the flex
I come down And I'm coming through
I'm-a shut my mouth, and I'm gonna pass it to you
ALL: Go, Luke! Go, Luke!
I like country But this is rap
You put 'em together It sounds like crap
You better look out 'Cause I'm Luke Cafferty
If I start rappin' Y'all might laugh at me
ALL: Go, Tink! Go, Tink!
Go, Tink!
Taylor and Riggins And Coach and Spivey
Coach is on your ass So you better look lively
(CHEERING)
Hold on, keep it going. Come on.
TAYLOR: Look, Billy, let's just call AAA.
It'll probably save us time by the time you get done there.
Coach, we're not calling AAA.
AAA is for women, all right?
We're men. We don't ask for directions,
and we fix our own cars.
Don't worry, I got this.
(EXCLAIMS) Son of a...
I'm kidding, I got this. Don't worry about it.
It's good.
That's funny.
So what's a Baptist like yourself gonna do at a Methodist university?
Play football.
They got you at running back or on D?
I don't know, they didn't say.
I'm gonna ask Karl. He's coming to our game tomorrow night.
You mind if I take a look at the pamphlet?
No, go for it. Cool.
I mean, didn't I tell you that when we first started?
Didn't I tell you, I said...
So, that's your dad out there?
Yeah.
He's one of those
"I'll tell you something" types, huh?
Yeah.
He's a chatterbox.
You a virgin?
No.
I mean, what's the wait?
I said that I wasn't.
Ah, you'll be fine when it happens.
It's all right.
"Soul-detonating joy bubble of a montage
"Doormats rising up
"Busting down the front door"
Hey, how do you feel about sopapillas?
Sopa what?
Fry bread.
Actually, not just any fry bread.
Possibly the greatest fry bread in the history of fry bread.
Come on, hop in the car with me.
Let's drive the 90 miles it takes to get
to Curvy Irma's unbearably brown fry bread shack.
You won't regret it.
"Running, splashing, chicken fighting
"The mother gathers her kids..."
Meet you in the car in five.
See you in the parking lot.
"...as fast as she can Now these are the facts"
Why don't you do that thing you do?
(BLOWS WHISTLE LOUDLY)
(PLAYERS CHATTERING)
PLAYER: I'm up. I'm up, Mama.
I love doing that.
You're welcome.
PLAYER: East Dillon Loins?
Nah, man. What's up with that?
STAN: Wake up. Wake up. We're here.
I'm Randy if you need something.
Nice to meet you, Randy. Pleasure.
The sign outside says "loins."
You want to take a look at that, huh?
I'm gonna look into that.
TAYLOR: What are these?
Your block of room keys.
If you could just stay in your block...
TAYLOR: You don't have regular keys, do you?
Those are our regular keys, sir.
You don't have the regular ones you put in a lock and...
They don't make those anymore in hotels.
What's that?
It's a macadamia, white macadamia.
It's complimentary from the...
Macadamia? Yes, sir.
You don't have chocolate chip, do you?
Enjoy that. No, we don't.
Just as an aside,
can you keep an eye on your crew out there?
Would you do me a favor and change that sign, though.
I'm gonna do it right away, sir. Thank you very much.
CROWLEY: Hey, remember, helmets and shorts,
on the bus in 15 minutes, let's go.
PLAYER: Come on, Buddy, Jr. Come on.
Tell the front desk we need more towels.
Where's my bag? Where's my bag?
CROWLEY: Keep this. Make sure you get back in. PLAYER: Yes, sir.
Special teams first. You guys are gonna be impressed, I promise.
Hey, Coach. Coach, hey.
This is my dad.
Coach Taylor, right? Yes, sir.
Yeah, Ornette Howard. Pleasure to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.
Oh, hey, I wanted to meet the man, you know?
Appreciate that.
I'm just here to see the game.
I don't wanna mess up anything.
No, you're not messing up anything.
Haven't messed up anything.
Yeah, this is Coach Riggins and Coach Spivey,
Coach Crowley, and that's Coach Stan, over here.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Howard.
Hey.
All right.
BILLY: Can anybody tell me what special teams is all about?
Protecting field position?
No.
Team unity.
Special teams is about the real players taking a breather
and the people in the stands getting a chance to drop their kids off at the pool.
Special teams. (SCOFFS)
More like special ed.
All right, kickoff team, let's line it up.
From now on, filler time is Billy time.
When we punt, we will down the ball inside the five.
When we kick off, we will not let the other team
return the ball past our 20-yard line.
We will run with hate in our hearts.
You'll forget all your hippy, zen, Buddhist, happiness, peace, love, bull crap,
and you will run with hate in your heart.
You don't leave your lane until you see the zits
on that ball-carrier's face.
Do you hear me? Yes, sir.
Do you hear me?
That's what I'm talking about, Buddy, Jr.
You will not get the girl.
You will not be written about in the paper.
You will be lucky if your own parents remember your name.
You don't like it? Good!
Get pissed.
Put my face on every South Kinger that you tackle.
But know this, gentlemen.
Tomorrow night, I will be given satisfaction.
Is that understood? ALL: Yes, sir.
Hey, Coach. Is that understood?
ALL: Yes, sir. Coach!
Yes, sir?
This is supposed to be a walk-through.
My bad.
We're done!
PLAYER: East side!
ALL: (CHANTING) Tink! Tink! Tink!
(CHEERING)
ALL: East Side! East Side! East Side! East Side!
You know, my boy, he got one year left of school.
So why they coming after him now?
Southern Cal just recruited a 13-year-old.
Come on, man, 13?
13 years old.
Yeah, they're looking for the verbals.
That's why I'm suggesting,
if you feel comfortable with me
and you have your trust in me,
things come through myself, and that way
we have more control over the situation.
Let me ask you something.
Do you think he can play D-1?
TMU is the first one. It's not gonna be the last.
VINCE: He used to coach at TMU.
Really? I did.
I was a quarterback coach for a short stint.
Didn't last long.
All right, so...
So everything's gonna go through Coach.
Works for Vince,
it works for me.
All right then.
We all agree then, anything happens,
anyone comes to you talking about anything,
I don't care what it is, you come to me first.
It goes through me first.
VINCE: You got it.
Yes, sir.
All right.
All right then.
Appreciate talking to you. You betcha.
All right, appreciate it. All right.
(LAUGHS) Uh-huh.
It's good, right?
I will have to admit, it's pretty darn good.
It's great.
I'll let you in on a great secret. I don't take many people here.
Really?
So how'd you find this place?
I got lost one night.
Yeah, I just got lost.
I, um, took a left, I took a right,
ended up here.
I'm good at getting lost. I've kind of made it an art form.
Nice, so did you just get lost today,
and make a left and right,
and found me in poetry reading?
Maybe there's an invisible hand
guiding me to all things great and good.
Fry bread.
You.
You know what, I'm going back for round two,
and then I got to get home.
Thesis calls. You want seconds?
Do it.
All right.
CROWLEY: Two per room. Everybody...
PLAYER: In the room, Fat Albert!
CROWLEY: Come on, let's go.
PLAYER: Oh.
CROWLEY: Everybody, hey, two per room.
Who's smoking in here?
(LAUGHTER) Really?
PLAYER: You gonna be the bitch?
CROWLEY: Take that chair back, go.
Buddy, get that cleaned up. Two per room.
What's up, buddy?
What's up, man?
Taking in the beautiful view?
It's not much better on the other side.
At least it's quiet.
It's not that quiet.
It's not ranch quiet, but...
DALLAS: It's too damn quiet.
I miss my cop cars
and crackheads.
LUKE: What's up, Twinker?
What's going on, Cafferty?
What's the matter, you can't sleep?
No.
LUKE: You nervous?
Not really. I'm just not used to hotels.
Yeah, Tink's a mama's boy.
You would be, too, if your mom could cook like mine.
VINCE: Ah, you're right, your mama can cook,
but she needs to feed you more vegetables, all right?
And okra cooked in ham juice don't count.
DALLAS: Oh, that's the best.
LUKE: I thought you were gonna lay off on the pork, man,
after I gave you my pig, come on.
Dude, pork and pig is two different things.
VINCE: Wait, what?
Pork is on a plate, and pig ain't.
All right.
HASTINGS: There's a lot of dude talk going on out here.
Ruckle, that's what got you outta bed?
No.
Buddy, Jr.,
he's a really loud snorer.
Like a lactose-intolerant ass face or something.
(LAUGHTER)
HASTINGS: What are you doing?
LUKE: We're just taking in the beauty of Kingdom, Texas, sir.
The beauty? You mean no bars
and 9,000 churches, that kind of beauty?
VINCE: Sounds like you've been here before.
Yeah, my dad's worked on a few rigs.
We never stayed here that long, but...
As usual.
DALLAS: So, Vince, think we're gonna win that game tomorrow?
Yeah, we got beat pretty bad,
but we're not the same team.
DALLAS: That's true.
I heard you guys forfeited.
What's up with that?
It was a bad feeling.
But Coach Taylor, he's a, you know,
he's a straight-up guy.
He had his reasons. Just don't know what they are.
LUKE: Dude, I can tell you... I can tell you the reasons.
'Cause y'all didn't have me on the team, so...
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
HASTINGS: Yeah, well,
maybe I can contribute a little something too now.
Well, you had me. I guess that didn't help.
(LAUGHS)
But I tell you what, you know what I could get used to?
LUKE: What?
The free candy at the minibar.
And the two pillows that I got.
Hey, that candy's not free.
(VINCE LAUGHS)
It's not?
HASTINGS: No. And that porn ain't either.
Porn is not free?
No, in fact it's pretty expensive.
Are you sure?
HASTINGS: Uh, yeah.
DALLAS: All right, 'cause my roommate's in there having, like, a film festival.
So let me go tell him to stop, all right?
Yeah, go do that.
Hey, dude, stop beating the meat. Come on, now.
Crazy, man.
Yeah.
LUKE: Good night.
All right, I'm out.
You are? Yeah.
Hey, tomorrow, buddy.
Tomorrow.
All right.
Tomorrow.
ANNOUNCER: Early in this contest, folks,
the Lions down by three,
and they are getting no respect
from these Kingdom Rangers.
Tempers are running hot.
And this game has been filled
with trash-talking and unnecessary penalties.
Rangers with the ball.
First and goal on the Lions' nine.
Gives to Rich Roberts up the middle.
PLAYER: Here we go!
ANNOUNCER: Stacked up for maybe a gain of three.
Oh, and it's a delayed hit on Luke Cafferty!
QB Andy "Spank-Spank" Miller on a sneak,
and he gets in easy.
It's been a slogger of a game, folks.
Neither team's offense is setting the world on fire,
but South King's just grabbed some big mo
before the half. 17-7 for the home team,
kicking off.
Kickoff return, let's go!
(CHEERING)
BUDDY: All right, let's go, boys!
Let's go, BJ! You get 'em, baby!
Chill out, Dad.
ANNOUNCER: Here's the kick.
A squib down the middle.
Number 42, Buddy Garrity, Jr., needs to just fall on this one.
Get on the ball! Get on the ball!
Run with it, yeah!
Fall on it! Fall on it!
ANNOUNCER: Oh, and Junior absolutely laid out
by a monster hit.
And Coach Taylor is beside himself, and I don't blame him.
Come on, ref.
Not cool. Mess with 42 again... That's my boy.
Don't tag him, don't tag him, or I'll tag you back!
You're calling that a clean hit?
What rule book are you playing from tonight?
ANNOUNCER: Sure does seem like these refs
aren't calling it both ways tonight, folks.
Take a knee.
We're on the 40. I can...
Just take a knee.
ANNOUNCER: Still two seconds on the clock.
Let's see what Taylor's got in his bag of tricks.
New year, same team!
Bunch of doormats!
Yeah, I'm talking to you, Howard!
You're in Kingdom now, baby!
That ain't saying...
Take that knee like I know you can!
Hut, hut.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
BILLY: Let's go, let's take it in.
ANNOUNCER: And that'll do it, 17-7, Kingdom at the half,
in a game these referees need to get under control
and I mean right quick.
BILLY: You all right?
I'm gonna rip somebody's head off.
They want to play dirty, we're gonna show 'em dirty.
LUKE: They're out there chop-blocking.
I got horse-collared by 56.
All right, we're getting a little home-cooked out there,
but we gotta rise above that, guys.
No, we got to change it up. We gotta change all this in-the-pocket,
one-step, two-step ain't working.
Listen to me.
This is exactly what I meant about playing with revenge.
That team out there is not a better team.
They are not a better team.
You take away the mental mistakes,
and we are back in this thing.
Otherwise, they are gonna keep playing us
for a bunch of fools.
Stay away from dumb, gentlemen.
Coaches, break them into groups,
I want to talk to you.
CROWLEY: Offense, over here, let's go!
Are you boys ready to forfeit?
If we win, can I have your number?
You gotta win first.
You got it.
(CROWD CHANTING)
What's up, gorilla boy?
I see you decided to join us for the second half, huh?
You sure you don't want to go back to Africa?
No, we here. You a long way from home.
I'm gonna be on your ass all game.
I got some bananas for you.
Yeah, yeah, we right here with it. We right here with it.
Yeah, we right here with it.
Let's go, come on. We'll see, we'll see.
We here.
(CHEERING)
Hey, don't worry, I got him. I got the kicker.
The kicker's gonna get his ass fired up.
I'm gonna fire him up. I'm gonna fire him up.
VINCE: Wait, wait... I got your spot over there. I got it.
What the hell's he doing out there?
ANNOUNCER: And this is strange,
Howard taking the field on a special team.
Maybe he wants to send a message.
Here it comes, and it is a beauty.
(GRUNTING)
Gracious me, Vince Howard with a smack on number 23.
That's my boy!
ANNOUNCER: And here we go again, folks.
Flags flying, pushing and shoving.
One more shot by 5, he is gone.
That was a clean hit. What are you talking about?
I watched that! I saw it! It was a clean hit.
One more, he's out of here.
Apparently, you are blind tonight!
You gotta be kidding me!
You are full of crap!
(CHEERING)
Hey, I'm Karl Gage, I'm a recruiter for TMU.
ANNOUNCER: And Coach Taylor getting more and more upset
with the officiating here.
Listen up, we are not gonna win playing by the rules.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
So we're gonna play by our rules.
Our rules?
Do you understand what I'm saying?
I understand. You understand?
Yes, sir.
Well, go share that.
Yes, sir.
CROWLEY: Let's go, 5. Here we go now!
You saw that hit, though. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Listen, I don't wanna be touched, all right?
I don't wanna be breathed on.
We're gonna go slot left 91.
They wanna take it to the streets,
they wanna play dirty, we're gonna show them
how we get down on the East Side.
All right? On one!
Ready? ALL: Break!
Hut, hut.
(GRUNTING)
ANNOUNCER: Looks like the Lions are finding some rhythm
for the first time here in Kingdom.
There's some soft spots in that South King zone,
and Howard is finding every one of them.
(ALL GRUNTING)
And there's another Kumbaya sing-along for South King sidelines.
Offsets the penalty, and a big stop by the Lions secondary.
(GRUNTS)
Luke Cafferty running for daylight.
Some vicious downfield blocking
as he takes it in for the touchdown.
East Dillon making a statement here, folks. Hello!
Thou shalt not lean into my roommate, 42,
anymore, baby!
ANNOUNCER: A little swagger creeping into them red jerseys, folks.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
(GRUNTING)
(CHEERING)
East Dillon has taken control of this game.
The Rangers are on their heels.
Vince Howard and the Lions
feeling their oats here, folks.
Hut, hut.
ANNOUNCER: Don't fly white cotton in front of a Lion.
He don't like it. 38-17, East Dillon.
Kingdom come, Kingdom conquered.
(CHEERING)
A big win to stay undefeated for these Lions.
But more importantly, the team stood up and said,
"We will not be disrespected.
"Not tonight. Not ever."
I wonder how he explains this one.
Real quick before you go, couple of questions.
Coach, 24 total penalties for 245 yards.
Now, that's got to be a league record.
There were penalties on both sides.
Yeah, but most of them were for unsportsmanlike conduct,
and most of them were on your team.
They started this whole mess. You guys just finished it, right?
Is that the style you're gonna play this year, thug ball?
(LAUGHING) You know what?
It's always good talking to you two.
Hey, hold on, hold on. Come on, Coach.
We got a long bus ride. We'll see you.
Why are you guys so undisciplined, Coach?
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING) (CHEERING)
Are you in charge?
I'm glad you won your soccer game,
but I need you to tone it down.
PLAYER: Turn it down! I can't accept gifts.
(VOLUME LOWERS)
I need y'all to please...
Hi, hi. It's okay. Go on through, thanks. (INAUDIBLE)
If you could get into your rooms, though, that'd be great,
and just keep the celebration down.
Thank you. Sorry about that.
We'll get the boys to bed.
Thank you so much.
Just dial zero.
(LOUD MUSIC STARTS) (WILD CHEERING)
Give me a kiss.
Good game. Thank you.
(CHUCKLING)
(KNOCKING ON WINDOW) You had such a good game.
Huh? Uh-uh.
Don't even look over there.
What? Y'all get away.
Stop being nosy.
What are they doing? Get away from the...
They're just a little early, that's all.
Early?
Yeah. They think we were gonna go out and...
I thought we were supposed to hang out.
We were. We are gonna go.
But they... Look at 'em.
They need their quarterback. And it's only gonna be for an hour or two, I promise.
I'm coming right back.
Okay? Mmm-hmm.
Give me a kiss.
Mmm. All right, just... Can you just not lock this?
Just leave it unlocked. I'll be back in just an hour or two, okay?
I'm...
Mmm, yeah.
So are we just gonna drive around all night
or are you actually gonna take me somewhere?
I'm showing you how to get lost.
Well, you seem to be succeeding.
I'm not gonna be able to stay out much longer.
I gotta get home and work on my thesis.
So what are you doing at Burleson?
What are you doing at Burleson?
That's not fair. I asked you first.
All right, same time.
One, two, three.
I'm here because no Ivy League school...
I'm at Burleson because I couldn't hack it
at Habitat for Humanity...
...wanted to give me a shot, and Burleson offered my wife
an adjunct professorship, and they wanted her so bad
that they allowed me into the doctoral program...
...and I guess it's far enough away from Matt.
...even though I had a ridiculous thesis.
(CHUCKLES)
(DEREK SIGHS)
Her name's Alison.
She's very smart and very good at what she does.
We like each other, but we don't love each other.
Or it's the other way around, I don't know.
Who's Matt?
He's, uh...
Just this guy in Chicago.
BUDDY: Okay, quit getting grease on the cards.
You keep saying that. There's no grease on the cards.
BILLY: Everybody, hey, seriously, I just wanted to say real quick,
hell of a freakin' game tonight.
Coach, congratulations. Congratulations to everybody.
Old-school football.
We beat the piss out of them, and I loved every minute of it.
And I liked the revenge sticks.
There were some good sticks.
SPIVEY: There were. Sticks.
We let that game get away from us.
BUDDY: What? What do you mean?
TAYLOR: Game got away from us a little bit.
SPIVEY: That's how it should be played, Coach.
TAYLOR: No, I didn't like all that. I didn't like all that.
No, no, Coach, they were late-hitting us
the whole entire time in the first half.
I understand that, I'm just saying
it got away a little bit. BILLY: They were playing dirty.
See y'all in the morning.
(OVERLAPPING CHATTER)
Are you in?
TC, you come back. We need some more of your money.
I gave it to Stan.
Your G-string's sticking out.
LUKE: It was an amazing game, dude. That was amazing.
I could have frickin' died out on that field.
I was so happy, I could have died and been happy.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
You boys legal?
Hey. Listen up, listen up.
Chill, all right? We're here.
Hastings. I know you're into that.
Yeah, you gotta be kidding me.
HASTINGS: No, we're here. This is it. It's nice, right?
I'm thinking we're all on the way to Dillon. That's why...
Big Owney!
Ruckle! Look at you, man.
Your daddy called.
Says you's back in town playing football.
What's up with hoops?
HASTINGS: Oh, I got converted.
OWNEY: Don't be looking too much. Huh?
Eyes back in your head.
And how 'bout some drinks?
SPIVEY: Let's do this again. Let me have all your money.
TAYLOR: I don't care for all that celebrating all that crap.
And I don't like that damn dance that Tinker does out there.
I think it's foolish.
I know, but the boys were having fun tonight.
They were having a good time.
BILLY: And, plus, we won!
I understand that. I was there, remember?
Yeah. Well, how 'bout you guys?
Did y'all have fun tonight?
A lot of fun. BILLY: I had fun.
You're starting to get pissy is what you're doing.
I'm not being pissy.
Everybody had fun. What's wrong with you?
I had fun. TAYLOR: There's nothing wrong with me.
Hey, my son played football tonight,
and he got his ass kicked all around the sun and back.
No, no, no, he's gonna be fine.
He was awful, Billy.
I'm tired, and I'm going to bed.
BUDDY: Just wait, wait, wait, let me say one thing.
Well, say it, say it. For God sakes, just say it.
Here we are, friends, sitting around here having fun,
playing cards, good whiskey,
and you've been nursing that drink all night.
You haven't been having any fun.
I've been having plenty of fun.
It'd be a lot more fun if I could beat this guy.
He's taking all my money.
Hell, I've been cheating all night,
looking at his cards and everything else,
I still can't beat him. Cheatin'?
I'm going to bed. Good night.
I love you very much, Coach.
Show me the money.
Hey.
Um, I really like the way that you're putting your lipstick on.
It's like you're from a commercial.
Mmm, okay.
TMU, they didn't want me to say anything.
And Coach, he didn't want me to say anything.
I just felt bad, so...
Why wouldn't Coach want you to say anything?
If they want both of us, that's great.
Yeah, that's what I thought. That's like right now.
Just like tonight, man, you and me together,
who's gonna stop us? That's what I'm talking about.
Who's stopping that? Dude, we threw up 38 on those punks.
Thirty-eight. All the way to state, man.
Yeah, buddy. All the way to state.
Cheers that. Let's do this.
All right. Good game.
TAMl: I miss my baby girl.
And that's the thing, you know?
That's the thing with having these kids,
it's just such a sense of loss, you know?
She's my girl.
We've been... You know, you raise somebody
till they're 18 years old,
and then they're suddenly just gone.
Mmm-hmm.
And she's just been my life
for so long,
and it's just emptiness.
(PHONE RINGING)
I don't know. It's strange.
Hey, hon.
We won.
(GASPS) Y'all did.
That's such great news. Honey, I'm so proud of you.
I'm so proud of you.
I've been drinking.
We have been drinking.
Honey. (CHUCKLES)
So... (CLEARS THROAT)
So what are y'all wearing?
I gotta go now.
Do me a favor.
Give Gracie a hug and kiss for me.
Oh, honey, I love you so much.
I love you.
I'll see you tomorrow.
All right.
LUKE: Listen to me, listen to me, listen to me.
Look, look. Look at that man.
That man called me his brother just now.
I did.
And last year, he punched me in my face.
He didn't just punch you. He knocked you out.
And your face looked like...
(EXCLAIMS)
DALLAS: Your face...
You know, that's how you fell when he hit you.
And, Tinker, don't go crying on me now.
You traded Maribelle, my pig,
for Becky, my girl.
And I love you for that.
It's a great pig.
Hastings, I bet he could be my brother too,
'cause his hair is like... (MAKES STRANGE SOUND)
And then, like... (LAUGHS)
And Buddy, Jr., where are you, girl?
Buddy, Jr.?
Buddy?
This man... Don't look at me. Look at her.
You are not gay.
That man is sucking face with someone's mom.
You do it.
He could be my brother, too.
And I will do anything for you.
HASTINGS: Like what?
I will walk...
I will walk on fire for you guys.
That's love.
Really?
You'd walk on fire?
Mmm-hmm.
All right, prove it.
LUKE: What?
Hmm?
HASTINGS: Yeah.
Is one of you Julie Taylor?
KIM: Excuse me?
I'm looking for Julie Taylor. Is she here?
I'm Julie. Who are you?
Oh, my God, what the hell?
What the hell is wrong with you?
I'm Alison! Derek's my husband.
Look, you need to work issues out with...
No, no, no, no, no. You're not special.
You're not the first.
What you are is a frickin' cliche and a slut.
You stay away from him. Do you hear me? You stay away from him!
Julie Taylor is a slut!
She is sleeping with Derek Bishop,
TA of the History Department and my husband!
Julie Taylor is a slut!
HASTINGS: Yeah.
LUKE: I do it, we all do it, okay?
Okay?
I just joined the team.
No, all of us, Buddy, Jr., all right?
Okay.
Okay, all right.
Do it, brother.
Do it, do it.
You're pinching me, biatch.
(SCREAMS)
(GROANS)
Doesn't look that fun, actually.
HASTINGS: All right, who's next?
LUKE: You, QB. You do it, man.
That's the badge of our pride.
It's, like, pride, and, like, pride.
You know, like...
That's right.
Idiots.
Feels so nice on my cortex every time you say that.
Do you have to be so rough?
Stop moving. If you wouldn't move, I wouldn't be so rough.
HASTINGS: And she probably wouldn't yell.
JESS: So much fun for me, you know?
Wait up, watch the sun rise until 5:00 in the morning.
VINCE: Jess.
I am sorry.
I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.
'Cause I love you so much.
Get that all cleaned up?
She's standing up. I know.
I see that.
(GASPS) Daddy's home.
Hey, honey.
(GASPS)
Hey.
Come here!
Hi! How are you?
I don't believe it!
Hey, how are you?
I'm good.
Good, good.
Welcome to your home. Hi, Gracie.
What are you doing here?
Gotta do some laundry.
Hi! Hi!
(CHUCKLES) Did you miss me?
Good job, Son. Here.
Dad, I got it.
All right. All right.
Good boy. I'll see you later.
All right, be safe, okay?
I'll see you back home. All right.
Proud of you. Thank you.
STAN: Take care.
Hey.
If you wanna ride home with him, you can. It's all right.
Coach, this is my team.
I ride with the team.
Mmm.
All right, is that it?
CROWLEY: Got everyone?
We're good, Coach.
CROWLEY: Who's that?
Whoa, wait!
Wait!
Wait, Coach!
Coach!
STAN: You wanna join us?
PLAYERS: Buddy, Jr.!
(CHEERING)
HASTINGS: Hey, Coach.
Are we there yet?
Nope.
But we're getting there.
Slowly but surely, we're getting there.