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MONDAY 3PM
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Sunil, it's Paul calling...
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Paul weston.
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Um, it's now
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3:15
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and I was just wondering
where you are.
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I'm pretty certain we agreed
you'd be coming back this week.
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Julia, this is...
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this is Dr. weston
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calling again.
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I... I'm trying to reach
your father-in-law.
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And he doesn't seem
to be responding
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to any of my messages
on his cell.
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I wonder if you could please
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have him be in touch
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or let me know
how I might reach him.
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I'd appreciate that.
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Thank you.
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( Theme music playing )
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Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
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So do you think
I did the wrong thing?
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Why do you always assume
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that I'm judging you
negatively?
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Isn't that a negative judgment?
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Frances, please,
let's not start this again.
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It's just the way
that it feels.
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You know, I think that you
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judge yourself negatively
most of the time.
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I think you expect people
to think the worst of you...
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Izzy, Russell,
Patricia.
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- You.
- Yes, me.
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Then you want me
either to confirm
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what an empty, irresponsible...
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Narcissistic.
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...Person you are...
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Is that what you think?
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...Or you want me to
refute it in some way
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that will validate you
once and for all
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in the eyes of the world.
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That's not my job.
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So what is your job?
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My job is to help you
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discover what you
think of yourself
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and if you're displeased
with what you discover,
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to help you change that.
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Right.
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Let me rephrase:
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What do you think
of what I did?
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Patricia was in deep distress
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and you had to make a choice.
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I think what you did
sounds reasonable.
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Well, Izzy doesn't think so.
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She says Trish
wanted to be at home,
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we had finally gotten her home,
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and I was wrong
to send her back.
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Well, Izzy wasn't there
on Sunday night,
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so it's easy for her
to stand in judgment.
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She thinks I should
have just held her,
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held on to her, done nothing
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until tricia, I don't know,
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lost consciousness,
went into a coma,
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fuck,
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died in my arms, I guess.
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It sounds simple in theory...
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no extraordinary measures.
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Yeah, and the crazy part is
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it was going okay this week...
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I mean better than
okay even... fine.
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Tricia wanted
to die at home
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and that's,
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I guess, what she was doing.
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And Sunday...
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Sunday started out the same.
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Izzy had spent
the whole day with her
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and then I came to be
with her for the night.
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And when
the hospice nurse left,
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she quizzed me on everything.
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She gave me her number
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to call her at home
in case I needed to.
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And then she checked
to make sure
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the rescue kit was
stocked... morphine,
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something for nausea,
something else for fever.
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Tricia has this port
now, you know,
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that you can inject
whatever into.
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It's a lot of responsibility.
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It's not so hard.
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We had a decent night actually.
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You know, tricia seemed
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almost stronger.
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You know, her temperature
was way down.
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She started asking about daddy.
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She was so young when he died.
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She hardly has any memory
of him... none really.
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Suddenly she was curious.
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And what did you tell her
about your father?
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That's the alarming part.
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I mean he's really
faded for me too.
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I told her I had
this vivid memory
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of him picking her up when
she was a little baby.
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He was laughing
and smiling
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and holding her up to the sky.
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She was laughing.
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Everybody was saying
how beautiful she was,
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you know, what a gorgeous baby.
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That's a lovely memory to have.
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Well, I don't know
that I really remember it
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or if mama told it to me
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or it's from an old photo.
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Either way, the image is
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clearly important to you.
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I hope it's real.
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I hope it really happened.
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The rest of the night
is a blur.
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The way I remember it,
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we went from, you know,
childhood reminiscing...
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these happy memories
by the bedside,
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to five paramedics shoving a
tube down Tricia's throat.
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And it happened just that
fast, in an instant.
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I know it wasn't, but...
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but that's what it felt like.
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Yes, it was awful.
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I mean she just sat up in
the bed gasping for breath
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like she was drowning
or something.
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I gave her more morphine,
but it didn't help.
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And I called the nurse
and she didn't answer.
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And Tricia's saying,
"help me. Help me."
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And what am I supposed
to do? Nothing?
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You know,
later in the ambulance
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I'm looking at her and
I'm thinking, "oh shit,
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Izzy's gonna be so mad with me.
I should not have let them do that."
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But it was... it was
beyond your control.
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That's what Izzy doesn't get.
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In the hospital she was
just screaming at me...
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"why didn't you call me?"
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How could you not honor
Patricia's wishes?
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You always do exactly
what you want to do,"
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on and on.
It was like an assault.
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And you know what the final
thing she said to me
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before she walked off
in a rage was?
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"You really
fucked this up, mom."
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So...
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so how is Patricia?
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She's, you know, sedated,
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on the ventilator.
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Is she conscious?
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In and out.
Mostly out.
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And when she comes around,
does she know who you are?
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I think so.
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I don't know.
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And what's her prognosis?
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Will she go home again?
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The doctors say no.
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I really did fuck this up.
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You did the best you could.
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No, but my best was pretty
fucking pathetic, wasn't it?
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I don't think so,
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not at all.
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Her living will.
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Look at what it says
at the very bottom.
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"I hereby appoint
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frances greer
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as my health care agent
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to make all health care
decisions for me
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in conformity
with the guidelines
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i have expressed
in this document."
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She named you.
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Are you surprised?
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That she chose you?
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No, I'm not.
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Clearly you are.
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You'd seen this before Sunday.
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Ugh, that's part of the
reason Izzy's so furious.
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She says tricia trusted
me and that I failed her.
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I tried to explain to her
what it felt like in the mom.
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This was the last thing
I was thinking about,
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the last thing that tricia
was thinking about.
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She wanted me to call.
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Did she?
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Yes, she did.
She was begging me...
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"please get help.
Get help, frances."
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But that's not
what you said earlier.
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Fuck, I don't know.
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Maybe that isn't
what she was saying.
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Maybe I just heard
what I wanted to hear.
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Can we talk about how...
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how we move forward from here?
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You've dealt with one
extremely painful situation
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and now you're facing another.
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What did the doctors say?
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Well, they said
I have to think about
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a couple of things, you know...
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whether to take her
off the ventilator.
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I don't think I can do it.
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I keep wondering
why tricia chose me.
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She must have known
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that I don't have this in me.
I'm not up to it.
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Who do you think
she should have chosen?
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This is such a mess.
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I don't know what to do.
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I imagine Izzy is for it...
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taking her off the ventilator.
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That's the bewildering
thing... she's not.
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Now it's all, "don't you dare.
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She could rally and come home.
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"Don't you dare think
about killing her."
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Is that really how she put it?
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Last night she said I...
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no, I can't even repeat it.
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What?
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She said that I've
always hated tricia
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and that I want her to die.
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Well...
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I hope that you can put
that remark in perspective.
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You've got to remember
she's just a teenager
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and she's dealing with
the imminent death
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of somebody that
she loves very much.
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Of course she's gonna be angry.
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And of course she's gonna
take it out on you.
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I want to make sure
that you hear this clearly:
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It would be normal,
when all this is over,
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to feel a sense of relief.
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You said there were a couple
of decisions to be made.
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A feeding tube...
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that's the next big one.
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Izzy's all for it,
paradoxically.
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And you?
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I haven't made up my mind.
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What about Patricia?
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I can't not feed her, Paul.
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00:12:57,008 --> 00:12:59,209
The idea of starving
my sister to death...
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00:12:59,243 --> 00:13:02,179
it's just not something I can do.
I'm not strong enough.
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00:13:02,213 --> 00:13:04,681
Your sister thought you were.
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00:13:07,652 --> 00:13:11,255
You say you don't know
why she chose you,
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but Patricia knew
what she was doing.
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She put you in charge
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of these extremely
difficult decisions.
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00:13:18,462 --> 00:13:20,730
And that means
that she trusted you...
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00:13:20,764 --> 00:13:22,732
trusts you
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to make the right choices.
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She believes that
you have it in you.
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What if Izzy's right?
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00:13:35,245 --> 00:13:38,381
She keeps sending me these
articles, stuff from the Internet
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where people
go off the ventilator
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and they breathe on their own.
They wake up.
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Let me ask you again...
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what would Patricia want?
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If she was sitting
right in front of you,
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what do you think
she would say?
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00:13:58,336 --> 00:14:00,871
The will that you have
there in your hand...
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00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:03,775
what does it say about
extraordinary measures?
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00:14:03,809 --> 00:14:06,077
Please read it to me.
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00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:13,151
The part in bold
in the middle of the page.
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Please.
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00:14:18,189 --> 00:14:22,860
"I do not want
cardiac resuscitation."
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00:14:22,894 --> 00:14:26,963
I do not want mechanical
respiration.
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00:14:26,998 --> 00:14:29,800
I do not want tube feeding.
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00:14:29,834 --> 00:14:32,837
I do not want antibiotics.
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00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:36,340
"I do want
maximum pain relief."
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Then it's clear, isn't it?
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She wanted to die at home.
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00:14:48,088 --> 00:14:50,155
I know.
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00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:56,827
If I pull the plug,
as Izzy says,
264
00:14:56,862 --> 00:14:58,762
there's no chance for that.
265
00:14:58,797 --> 00:15:01,264
I mean, maybe...
266
00:15:01,299 --> 00:15:04,433
I know that you want
to give your sister
267
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:07,903
the death that she
envisioned for herself,
268
00:15:07,937 --> 00:15:10,739
but it's a fantasy.
269
00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:12,708
And in that fantasy
270
00:15:12,742 --> 00:15:15,076
you get to redeem yourself.
271
00:15:15,111 --> 00:15:18,514
And that's why you cling to it.
272
00:15:20,517 --> 00:15:23,652
It seems to me
that Patricia's wishes
273
00:15:23,686 --> 00:15:27,088
are right in front of you
in that letter
274
00:15:27,123 --> 00:15:29,291
and what she's asking you to do
275
00:15:29,325 --> 00:15:32,627
is to follow her instructions.
276
00:15:35,665 --> 00:15:40,101
What am I gonna do
when she's not here?
277
00:15:40,136 --> 00:15:43,471
You know, 'cause I have
no one really...
278
00:15:43,505 --> 00:15:47,142
nobody...
279
00:15:47,176 --> 00:15:50,979
nobody that knew me
when I was a kid. She...
280
00:15:51,013 --> 00:15:53,482
it's like that time
when we were kids
281
00:15:53,517 --> 00:15:55,518
won't exist anymore, you know.
282
00:15:55,552 --> 00:15:58,388
It will just be stories.
283
00:15:58,422 --> 00:16:01,425
I won't even know which ones are
real and which ones I made up,
284
00:16:01,459 --> 00:16:03,327
like that picture of my father
285
00:16:03,361 --> 00:16:05,997
holding her up in the air.
286
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,734
Without her I don't know.
287
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:11,436
You don't know what?
288
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,938
No, it's just she
grounded me, you know?
289
00:16:13,972 --> 00:16:16,774
She... she believes
in me.
290
00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:19,276
You said it, Paul.
291
00:16:19,310 --> 00:16:21,277
Remember last week I told you
292
00:16:21,312 --> 00:16:25,081
that she said, "I love you"?
293
00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:27,082
You know, I cannot
remember the last time
294
00:16:27,117 --> 00:16:29,284
that somebody said that to me.
295
00:16:29,319 --> 00:16:31,220
You know what that
feels like to lose that,
296
00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:33,723
to be completely alone?
297
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,830
Yes.
298
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,802
I don't think
it's quite true though
299
00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:48,473
that you're going to be
completely alone.
300
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,375
You have Izzy.
301
00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:51,876
Izzy hates me.
302
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:56,146
You're her mother.
She needs you.
303
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:59,149
She needs you to be there for
her when Patricia passes.
304
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,585
We've talked about this.
305
00:17:01,619 --> 00:17:04,287
I believe that relationship
can be repaired.
306
00:17:04,322 --> 00:17:05,922
I'm not so sure of that.
307
00:17:05,957 --> 00:17:08,358
It'll take time,
308
00:17:08,392 --> 00:17:10,761
but you can do it.
309
00:17:10,795 --> 00:17:14,632
You have your work.
You have your career.
310
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:18,603
Please, the play
is gonna close.
311
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:21,774
It's not gonna extend
past the limited run and...
312
00:17:21,808 --> 00:17:23,609
I've read the reviews.
313
00:17:23,644 --> 00:17:25,879
You read them?
314
00:17:25,913 --> 00:17:28,248
Mm-hmm.
315
00:17:28,282 --> 00:17:31,484
They're good,
especially for you.
316
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:35,454
Not good enough to keep it
317
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:38,824
past the limited run.
318
00:17:44,797 --> 00:17:48,432
Look, I asked you
something last week
319
00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:51,736
and you didn't get a chance to
answer because Izzy interrupted us.
320
00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:53,437
What was that?
321
00:17:53,472 --> 00:17:56,707
She said that therapy
wouldn't do me any good.
322
00:17:56,741 --> 00:17:58,843
Oh yes.
Yes, I remember.
323
00:17:58,877 --> 00:18:02,647
- She diagnosed you.
- A true narcissist.
324
00:18:02,681 --> 00:18:05,249
Where did Izzy get her degree?
325
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:07,820
( Both chuckle )
326
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:10,622
Do you agree with her?
327
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,891
That you are a narcissist?
328
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,693
No,
329
00:18:14,728 --> 00:18:19,666
that I can't be helped,
I can't change.
330
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:26,507
Tell me this...
331
00:18:26,541 --> 00:18:28,709
because I need to know
332
00:18:28,743 --> 00:18:30,711
that you'll be here for me.
333
00:18:30,745 --> 00:18:33,214
Will you be here for me?
334
00:18:35,384 --> 00:18:37,718
I will.
335
00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:39,920
You hesitated.
336
00:18:39,954 --> 00:18:42,690
It's just...
337
00:18:42,724 --> 00:18:45,660
earlier on we...
338
00:18:45,694 --> 00:18:47,695
we kind of touched on this...
339
00:18:47,729 --> 00:18:52,033
why you chose me.
340
00:18:52,068 --> 00:18:54,503
Are you still certain
341
00:18:54,537 --> 00:18:56,739
that that was
the right decision?
342
00:18:56,773 --> 00:18:59,541
Yeah, you knew Trish
343
00:18:59,576 --> 00:19:04,079
and Trish knew me.
344
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:06,215
I wanted that connection.
345
00:19:06,249 --> 00:19:08,784
I want to keep that connection.
Does that make sense?
346
00:19:08,819 --> 00:19:10,953
Mm-hmm.
347
00:19:14,658 --> 00:19:16,492
Yes.
348
00:19:19,830 --> 00:19:22,665
So what are you going to do?
349
00:19:22,699 --> 00:19:24,934
About tricia?
350
00:19:24,969 --> 00:19:27,170
I don't know.
351
00:19:27,204 --> 00:19:29,305
I guess I'll tell you
next week.
352
00:19:37,582 --> 00:19:40,150
Tell me something, Paul...
353
00:19:40,184 --> 00:19:43,320
were you in love with her?
354
00:19:44,489 --> 00:19:50,060
I cared about her a great deal.
355
00:19:50,094 --> 00:19:52,596
She was...
356
00:19:52,630 --> 00:19:54,464
she was a striking woman.
357
00:19:54,499 --> 00:19:57,968
Yeah, she was.
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