1
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,410
Deported?

2
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:54,578
That's right.

3
00:00:54,612 --> 00:00:56,580
- But...
- There are no buts.

4
00:00:56,614 --> 00:00:58,749
It's the I.N.S.

5
00:00:58,783 --> 00:01:01,151
He's got brown skin.

6
00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:04,054
He's been accused of a violent crime.
He's going.

7
00:01:04,088 --> 00:01:07,658
Do you know why he was arrested,
what he was charged...?

8
00:01:07,725 --> 00:01:10,294
<i>He was arrested because you
insisted I call Julia.</i>

9
00:01:10,328 --> 00:01:13,997
So I called Julia,
and she called the police.

10
00:01:14,065 --> 00:01:15,966
This ought to teach you

11
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:19,603
to stay out of the business
of second-hand diagnosis.

12
00:01:19,637 --> 00:01:23,240
Let qualified people
do the work instead.

13
00:01:23,274 --> 00:01:27,177
When you talk about qualified
people doing this work,

14
00:01:27,245 --> 00:01:28,745
are you including
yourself in that?

15
00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:30,113
Are you suggesting
that I'm to blame?

16
00:01:30,148 --> 00:01:31,648
I'm not suggesting anything.

17
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,650
Because I wouldn't
have called if I...

18
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:37,120
I understand that.
I'm not accusing you of anything.

19
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,156
You've been talking for weeks

20
00:01:39,224 --> 00:01:41,391
about a loss of perspective,

21
00:01:41,426 --> 00:01:44,628
questioning the efficacy
of your practice,

22
00:01:44,662 --> 00:01:46,496
doubting certain decisions.

23
00:01:46,564 --> 00:01:47,898
I was right about this one.

24
00:01:47,932 --> 00:01:49,900
Based on what you
told me, I felt

25
00:01:49,934 --> 00:01:52,236
there was a risk that
needed to be addressed.

26
00:01:52,270 --> 00:01:54,805
I'm still not clear

27
00:01:54,839 --> 00:01:57,140
why you're so certain
the risk wasn't real.

28
00:01:57,175 --> 00:02:00,043
Sunil just told me flat out he
never intended to hurt Julia.

29
00:02:00,111 --> 00:02:02,045
So the police came
as he planned.

30
00:02:02,113 --> 00:02:05,515
He refused to show his
papers, also as planned.

31
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:08,418
I mean, what part of that
do you not understand?

32
00:02:08,486 --> 00:02:10,053
You've been told by Sunil

33
00:02:10,121 --> 00:02:12,289
that much of what he shared
was fiction. Correct?

34
00:02:12,323 --> 00:02:13,857
Mm-hmm.

35
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:17,227
Yet when he claims that he
never intended to hurt Julia...

36
00:02:17,295 --> 00:02:20,564
I'm just not sure
how you're deciding

37
00:02:20,632 --> 00:02:22,532
which of these stories
to believe.

38
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,835
<i>- You've never met him.
- That's true.</i>

39
00:02:24,869 --> 00:02:26,570
And you've never
had the experience

40
00:02:26,638 --> 00:02:29,139
of sitting down
and speaking with him.

41
00:02:29,173 --> 00:02:33,410
See, I'm talking about
an instinct that I had

42
00:02:33,478 --> 00:02:35,445
<i>that you refuse
to trust.</i>

43
00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,850
I know Sunil is not
a dangerous person.

44
00:02:39,884 --> 00:02:43,921
<i>Okay, let's take
everything at face value.</i>

45
00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:45,956
Everything he said
to you this week...

46
00:02:45,990 --> 00:02:48,458
we'll believe it's true.

47
00:02:48,493 --> 00:02:51,662
This is what he wanted... to
be sent home to Calcutta.

48
00:02:51,696 --> 00:02:54,097
That's right.

49
00:02:54,165 --> 00:02:57,034
Then why are you so upset?

50
00:03:01,539 --> 00:03:05,876
<i>( Theme music playing )</i>

51
00:03:06,589 --> 00:03:07,977
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

52
00:03:08,506 --> 00:03:10,306
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

53
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:23,360
We've discussed for some time

54
00:03:23,394 --> 00:03:25,395
your strong identification
with Sunil,

55
00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:29,099
that you've come to care
about him, relate to him.

56
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:32,336
Would you say that's true?

57
00:03:32,370 --> 00:03:36,606
Even to think of him as perhaps
something of a friend?

58
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:41,211
Does it make you angry
to consider

59
00:03:41,245 --> 00:03:44,548
that you may have been betrayed
by a friend in this way?

60
00:03:48,086 --> 00:03:51,555
May I offer another possible
source for your anger?

61
00:03:51,589 --> 00:03:53,023
Sure.

62
00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:57,227
Do you think any part of you
might be envious of Sunil?

63
00:03:57,261 --> 00:03:59,896
Why would I be envious of a
man who's being deported?

64
00:03:59,931 --> 00:04:02,532
Because he's found a way
to change his life

65
00:04:02,567 --> 00:04:04,868
and you haven't.

66
00:04:06,404 --> 00:04:08,905
<i>I could understand your
being envious of that.</i>

67
00:04:12,643 --> 00:04:14,611
You know, all week I've been...

68
00:04:14,645 --> 00:04:17,814
I've just been going
over and over

69
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:21,151
Sunil's treatment
in my head, you know...

70
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:24,187
what was really happening,
what was fantasy.

71
00:04:24,255 --> 00:04:26,089
Even when I'm
with other patients,

72
00:04:26,124 --> 00:04:28,558
<i>I'm thinking about him,
tuning them out completely.</i>

73
00:04:28,593 --> 00:04:31,294
<i>And when I force
myself to focus</i>

74
00:04:31,329 --> 00:04:34,798
and actually listen
to what they're saying,

75
00:04:34,832 --> 00:04:37,100
I just...

76
00:04:37,135 --> 00:04:41,438
I just find myself
questioning the whole thing.

77
00:04:41,472 --> 00:04:44,274
How do I really know

78
00:04:44,308 --> 00:04:47,544
that what I'm being told
isn't bullshit?

79
00:04:47,612 --> 00:04:52,282
What am I blind to this time?

80
00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:56,453
That's quite a hopeless
feeling you're describing.

81
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,223
I got a phone message
the other day

82
00:05:00,291 --> 00:05:02,159
from a prospective patient

83
00:05:02,193 --> 00:05:07,264
<i>who asked me if I had any free
appointments in my schedule.</i>

84
00:05:07,298 --> 00:05:09,766
I haven't been able to get
back to that person yet.

85
00:05:09,801 --> 00:05:12,335
<i>Why not?</i>

86
00:05:12,370 --> 00:05:16,039
What would you tell them
if you did?

87
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,808
<i>I don't know.</i>

88
00:05:17,842 --> 00:05:20,377
What would you want
to tell them?

89
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,212
Well, whenever I think
of making the call,

90
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,214
I can only imagine saying

91
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:27,717
that I'm not taking
any new patients.

92
00:05:27,785 --> 00:05:31,021
What does it mean to you
to hear yourself say that?

93
00:05:35,159 --> 00:05:38,728
<i>Does it mean you're thinking of
cutting back on your practice?</i>

94
00:05:42,834 --> 00:05:46,470
Are you thinking of closing it?

95
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,348
You look more pregnant.

96
00:05:58,416 --> 00:06:00,851
I...

97
00:06:00,885 --> 00:06:05,255
yes, I guess I am.

98
00:06:06,891 --> 00:06:09,426
Do you know
what you're gonna do

99
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,128
when the baby is born?

100
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:14,598
<i>Do you plan
to keep on working?</i>

101
00:06:14,665 --> 00:06:16,600
I do.

102
00:06:16,667 --> 00:06:19,536
I'll take a few months
at home, but then

103
00:06:19,570 --> 00:06:22,572
yes, I'll keep working.

104
00:06:22,607 --> 00:06:24,441
I want to.

105
00:06:26,711 --> 00:06:28,445
<i>And you?</i>

106
00:06:31,749 --> 00:06:33,984
<i>You still haven't
answered my question.</i>

107
00:06:34,051 --> 00:06:37,721
Are you thinking
of closing your practice?

108
00:06:37,755 --> 00:06:39,823
I don't know.
It came into my head

109
00:06:39,891 --> 00:06:43,460
when I was sitting across
from Jesse this week.

110
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:47,197
He told me he was
quitting therapy.

111
00:06:47,231 --> 00:06:48,665
Why?

112
00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:50,467
<i>Why? Because
he was convinced</i>

113
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,269
that he has to choose
between his father and me.

114
00:06:52,303 --> 00:06:54,237
And he's chosen his father.

115
00:06:54,305 --> 00:06:56,540
What did you say to him?

116
00:06:56,574 --> 00:06:59,910
<i>I don't think he heard
anything I said really.</i>

117
00:06:59,977 --> 00:07:04,214
There was a time...
a time I used to believe

118
00:07:04,248 --> 00:07:08,685
that you could say
something clearly

119
00:07:08,753 --> 00:07:13,256
and the other person would
hear it, digest it, respond.

120
00:07:14,759 --> 00:07:18,195
I don't think
I believe that anymore.

121
00:07:18,262 --> 00:07:21,364
<i>Maybe any serious
communication</i>

122
00:07:21,432 --> 00:07:24,467
<i>between two people
is useless.</i>

123
00:07:24,535 --> 00:07:27,304
Even without outright lying,

124
00:07:27,338 --> 00:07:31,274
people only hear what
they really want to hear

125
00:07:31,309 --> 00:07:34,511
or what they're
capable of hearing,

126
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,113
which...
( Chuckles )

127
00:07:37,148 --> 00:07:39,115
Which often has
very little resemblance

128
00:07:39,150 --> 00:07:40,917
to what was actually said.

129
00:07:43,054 --> 00:07:45,155
At this moment
each of these setbacks

130
00:07:45,223 --> 00:07:47,157
feels like a terrible blow.

131
00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:53,863
Can we talk about why these
losses feel so devastating?

132
00:07:53,898 --> 00:07:55,966
Why don't you tell me?

133
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,435
I think it has something to do

134
00:07:58,469 --> 00:08:00,704
with what you've
done repeatedly.

135
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:04,641
You've blurred boundaries
with your patients,

136
00:08:04,675 --> 00:08:08,211
treated them as friends
or children or...

137
00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,047
again and again you have
allowed your own feelings

138
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,749
to interfere.

139
00:08:12,817 --> 00:08:17,220
<i>Why do you think Sunil was
able to fool you so easily?</i>

140
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,789
Why do you think that deception

141
00:08:19,824 --> 00:08:22,259
affects you so deeply?

142
00:08:22,326 --> 00:08:24,961
<i>Two weeks ago you saw
Jesse late at night.</i>

143
00:08:25,029 --> 00:08:26,963
<i>Now you're terribly hurt</i>

144
00:08:26,998 --> 00:08:29,099
<i>that Jesse's turned
to his father.</i>

145
00:08:29,133 --> 00:08:30,834
It's all connected, Paul.

146
00:08:30,868 --> 00:08:33,203
It's a pattern.
It's one you could break if...

147
00:08:33,271 --> 00:08:35,739
I need to stop.

148
00:08:35,806 --> 00:08:37,274
<i>You... you need
to stop?</i>

149
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:40,210
I need to stop seeing patients.

150
00:08:40,278 --> 00:08:41,878
That's what you're telling me.

151
00:08:41,946 --> 00:08:44,080
And you're right.

152
00:08:44,115 --> 00:08:46,549
I'm not telling you
to do anything.

153
00:08:46,584 --> 00:08:49,753
I'm only trying to get you
to examine what might be...

154
00:08:49,787 --> 00:08:53,256
fine, it's what I've been
telling you then,

155
00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:56,159
what I've really known myself

156
00:08:56,227 --> 00:08:59,396
for a very long time.

157
00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:02,732
<i>Is that really
what you want?</i>

158
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:06,202
There are many many ways
to make changes, Paul.

159
00:09:07,204 --> 00:09:09,205
I know that.

160
00:09:10,274 --> 00:09:12,509
<i>Okay.</i>

161
00:09:12,576 --> 00:09:14,878
Do you know... if this is
a real possibility,

162
00:09:14,912 --> 00:09:18,381
have you thought about
what might be next?

163
00:09:18,416 --> 00:09:20,016
Do I have to have a plan?

164
00:09:20,084 --> 00:09:22,252
<i>Of course not.</i>

165
00:09:22,286 --> 00:09:24,921
Just...

166
00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:26,456
what?

167
00:09:26,490 --> 00:09:29,025
I don't know.
I just found myself

168
00:09:29,093 --> 00:09:31,594
wondering what my life
would have been

169
00:09:31,629 --> 00:09:34,531
if I hadn't gone down
this path, you know,

170
00:09:34,598 --> 00:09:39,836
if I hadn't become a therapist.

171
00:09:42,106 --> 00:09:45,041
All I know is

172
00:09:45,109 --> 00:09:48,645
that I can't spend the next
10 or 20 years like this,

173
00:09:48,679 --> 00:09:52,349
locked in a room, listening.

174
00:09:52,416 --> 00:09:54,651
It's striking to hear you talk

175
00:09:54,685 --> 00:09:57,087
about the next 10 or 20 years.

176
00:09:57,121 --> 00:10:00,390
I mean, up until now
you've been convinced

177
00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:02,926
you only had a fraction
of that time left.

178
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,928
Well, maybe I've been taking

179
00:10:04,962 --> 00:10:07,497
what the doctors have told
me about the Parkinson's

180
00:10:07,531 --> 00:10:10,800
a bit more objectively.

181
00:10:10,835 --> 00:10:15,672
I'm willing to wait and see.

182
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:19,109
<i>And maybe during that time
I'll finally figure out</i>

183
00:10:19,143 --> 00:10:21,945
what it is that I want
from my life.

184
00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:25,382
Is there anything
that comes to mind?

185
00:10:27,718 --> 00:10:30,387
Not specifically, no.

186
00:10:30,454 --> 00:10:32,655
<i>Nothing at all?</i>

187
00:10:39,330 --> 00:10:41,698
I broke up with Wendy.

188
00:10:41,732 --> 00:10:43,733
<i>It was at the breakfast
table yesterday.</i>

189
00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:45,902
<i>I hadn't planned
to do it.</i>

190
00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:47,771
<i>It just sort of
came out.</i>

191
00:10:47,838 --> 00:10:50,774
You seem surprised.

192
00:10:50,841 --> 00:10:52,475
Do I?

193
00:10:52,510 --> 00:10:55,979
I guess I just wanted
to free myself.

194
00:10:56,013 --> 00:10:58,415
<i>- Free yourself?
- Yes.</i>

195
00:10:58,482 --> 00:11:00,483
Free yourself for what?

196
00:11:02,019 --> 00:11:05,188
I was never in love with Wendy.

197
00:11:05,222 --> 00:11:08,858
I know that.

198
00:11:08,893 --> 00:11:11,127
And honestly,

199
00:11:11,195 --> 00:11:13,530
I've even started to wonder

200
00:11:13,564 --> 00:11:18,334
if I was ever really
in love with Kate

201
00:11:18,369 --> 00:11:22,639
and whether love is something

202
00:11:22,706 --> 00:11:25,341
I'm really capable of.

203
00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:29,546
Wendy said she wanted to talk

204
00:11:29,580 --> 00:11:33,082
about our relationship.

205
00:11:34,552 --> 00:11:36,786
And she started to cry.

206
00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:40,089
<i>She couldn't
stop crying.</i>

207
00:11:40,124 --> 00:11:42,559
<i>And inside I...</i>

208
00:11:42,593 --> 00:11:46,196
I just didn't feel anything.

209
00:11:46,230 --> 00:11:50,200
Yeah, I knew I should
have been feeling sad

210
00:11:50,234 --> 00:11:54,971
or at the very least guilty.

211
00:11:55,039 --> 00:11:58,074
But...

212
00:11:58,142 --> 00:12:00,043
<i>I kept saying to myself,
"she's in pain.</i>

213
00:12:00,077 --> 00:12:01,845
<i>She's in pain.
You can help her."</i>

214
00:12:01,912 --> 00:12:03,646
<i>But I couldn't move.</i>

215
00:12:03,714 --> 00:12:06,416
I couldn't even take her hand.

216
00:12:06,484 --> 00:12:09,018
<i>I just wanted her
to leave.</i>

217
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:11,621
To free yourself.

218
00:12:11,655 --> 00:12:14,491
<i>I think
up until this point</i>

219
00:12:14,558 --> 00:12:17,894
<i>you've sought out
relationships that are safe,</i>

220
00:12:17,928 --> 00:12:20,396
where the risk
to yourself emotionally

221
00:12:20,431 --> 00:12:23,366
is a small one.

222
00:12:23,434 --> 00:12:27,103
Outside the office
you keep your distance.

223
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,772
Inside, you do the opposite...

224
00:12:29,807 --> 00:12:33,176
you overinvest.
You seek out intimacy.

225
00:12:33,244 --> 00:12:36,179
<i>But whether it's Wendy,</i>

226
00:12:36,247 --> 00:12:38,314
Kate, your patients...

227
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:41,784
they're all
substitutes of a kind,

228
00:12:41,819 --> 00:12:45,688
allowing you to avoid actually
engaging in the world,

229
00:12:45,756 --> 00:12:48,558
experiencing life
in any real way.

230
00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:50,560
<i>I think what
you're telling me</i>

231
00:12:50,628 --> 00:12:53,930
<i>is that you're ready
to stop doing this.</i>

232
00:12:53,964 --> 00:12:55,899
Ending things with Wendy

233
00:12:55,966 --> 00:12:58,601
sounds like a step
in the right direction.

234
00:12:58,636 --> 00:13:01,170
Ending your practice...

235
00:13:01,205 --> 00:13:06,009
I'm not sure that's
precisely the right answer.

236
00:13:06,043 --> 00:13:08,111
But it does feel right to me

237
00:13:08,145 --> 00:13:11,147
to hear you talk about
freeing yourself.

238
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:14,183
I think that's
a good description

239
00:13:14,218 --> 00:13:16,419
of the work that lies ahead...

240
00:13:16,487 --> 00:13:18,821
for you, for us together.

241
00:13:18,856 --> 00:13:22,792
I'm not coming back.

242
00:13:22,860 --> 00:13:25,028
<i>I'm sorry.</i>

243
00:13:26,330 --> 00:13:28,431
<i>You just took me to task</i>

244
00:13:28,499 --> 00:13:31,568
on my unhealthy relationships.

245
00:13:31,635 --> 00:13:34,771
Do you not see this
as one of them?

246
00:13:34,838 --> 00:13:37,574
I... I don't think...

247
00:13:37,641 --> 00:13:40,343
I think it's
entirely different.

248
00:13:40,377 --> 00:13:41,811
<i>Why is that?</i>

249
00:13:41,845 --> 00:13:43,813
Because you're my therapist?

250
00:13:43,847 --> 00:13:46,950
Because whatever's been going on
between us is completely routine,

251
00:13:46,984 --> 00:13:50,620
a standard critical part
of the therapeutic process?

252
00:13:50,654 --> 00:13:53,890
I think you're aware of how these
sorts of feelings function.

253
00:13:53,958 --> 00:13:56,159
Transference,
countertransference...

254
00:13:56,193 --> 00:13:58,061
just go with it,
grow from it...

255
00:13:58,128 --> 00:14:00,730
<i>- Explore it as illuminating.
- I can't do that.</i>

256
00:14:02,833 --> 00:14:05,935
I'm sorry.
I just can't do it.

257
00:14:06,003 --> 00:14:08,304
It's too...

258
00:14:11,008 --> 00:14:12,809
it's too confusing for me.

259
00:14:12,843 --> 00:14:14,544
<i>Why do you find it
so confusing?</i>

260
00:14:14,578 --> 00:14:18,581
Because I can't tell
what's real.

261
00:14:18,649 --> 00:14:21,718
How can I go on seeing you,

262
00:14:21,752 --> 00:14:25,888
looking at you,
keep coming here,

263
00:14:25,923 --> 00:14:30,393
when you epitomize
the conflict?

264
00:14:31,729 --> 00:14:33,963
Do you not see that?

265
00:14:34,031 --> 00:14:36,766
I'm not sure that I do.

266
00:14:38,068 --> 00:14:40,670
You're talking about
ending therapy

267
00:14:40,704 --> 00:14:44,140
just as you're contemplating
an enormous life decision.

268
00:14:44,208 --> 00:14:46,442
I think it's important
that we're clear...

269
00:14:46,510 --> 00:14:48,611
you're having a baby.

270
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,179
I am.

271
00:14:50,214 --> 00:14:54,317
And I know that the likelihood

272
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:56,352
is that you're having
this child

273
00:14:56,353 --> 00:14:59,589
with somebody else...
its father,

274
00:14:59,623 --> 00:15:01,958
husband, boyfriend... having
girlfriend for all I know.

275
00:15:02,026 --> 00:15:05,161
But...

276
00:15:05,229 --> 00:15:08,131
I just have this feeling

277
00:15:08,198 --> 00:15:10,933
<i>that may not be
the case.</i>

278
00:15:10,968 --> 00:15:13,503
<i>I don't know
what your story is...</i>

279
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:16,172
<i>whether you're
with somebody or not.</i>

280
00:15:16,206 --> 00:15:20,143
I could be wrong.
I could be making a fool of myself.

281
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,711
I could be offending you.

282
00:15:21,745 --> 00:15:24,313
I could be wildly deluded.

283
00:15:26,483 --> 00:15:29,886
But something tells me
that you're alone.

284
00:15:35,492 --> 00:15:38,127
Last week you imagined

285
00:15:38,162 --> 00:15:40,430
I had a happy, growing family.

286
00:15:40,464 --> 00:15:43,232
You thought I hid
that fact from you,

287
00:15:43,267 --> 00:15:45,201
and that made you very angry.

288
00:15:45,269 --> 00:15:47,170
An now you're suggesting...

289
00:15:47,237 --> 00:15:50,039
That I can't tell
what the truth is.

290
00:15:50,107 --> 00:15:54,811
This is your opportunity
to tell me if you want to.

291
00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:57,880
Why do you think it's so important
for you to know my situation?

292
00:15:57,948 --> 00:16:01,617
Because we could go on
like this for years.

293
00:16:01,652 --> 00:16:03,586
It...

294
00:16:04,588 --> 00:16:06,856
<i>what?</i>

295
00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:11,627
It's too painful.

296
00:16:15,132 --> 00:16:17,100
I don't think the solution is

297
00:16:17,134 --> 00:16:20,803
to run away from what's
happening in this room, Paul,

298
00:16:20,838 --> 00:16:24,006
to protect yourself once again

299
00:16:24,041 --> 00:16:27,310
from the risk
of a relationship...

300
00:16:27,344 --> 00:16:31,347
the confusion, yes, pain

301
00:16:31,415 --> 00:16:35,818
that can sometimes
go along with one.

302
00:16:35,853 --> 00:16:37,820
The way to change that

303
00:16:37,855 --> 00:16:40,289
is to face those feelings
in a therapeutic setting.

304
00:16:40,324 --> 00:16:42,792
You just said
"relationship."

305
00:16:42,826 --> 00:16:46,095
But the point is

306
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:49,165
that it isn't one.

307
00:16:49,199 --> 00:16:52,602
It's been created in this room

308
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,570
by the artifice of therapy.

309
00:16:54,638 --> 00:16:58,040
And I don't know that I believe
in that artifice anymore.

310
00:16:58,108 --> 00:17:01,210
I can't distinguish it
from reality.

311
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:04,914
You're sitting across from me,

312
00:17:04,982 --> 00:17:06,783
and you're pregnant,

313
00:17:06,817 --> 00:17:11,154
and I still think that you
are meant to be with me.

314
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,691
Isn't that exactly
what I need to stop doing,

315
00:17:15,726 --> 00:17:17,527
what you've been
telling me to change?

316
00:17:17,561 --> 00:17:21,297
Isn't it time that I go outside
and experience reality,

317
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:23,399
step beyond the office doors

318
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:25,735
and see the difference
for myself?

319
00:17:25,803 --> 00:17:27,737
You can experience the world

320
00:17:27,805 --> 00:17:30,373
and still come back
here each week,

321
00:17:30,407 --> 00:17:33,709
talk about that experience.

322
00:17:33,744 --> 00:17:36,879
I worry that if you don't,

323
00:17:36,914 --> 00:17:40,983
you'll repeat the same patterns
you're trying to free yourself from.

324
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,519
Well, maybe that's true.

325
00:17:43,554 --> 00:17:46,289
And maybe it's not.

326
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:49,525
You've been through so much in
such a short amount of time, Paul:

327
00:17:49,560 --> 00:17:53,129
The death of your father, the
fear of inheriting his illness,

328
00:17:53,197 --> 00:17:55,131
the fundamental questioning

329
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,133
of your life's work.

330
00:17:57,201 --> 00:18:00,169
I'm 57 years old

331
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,672
and I've lost my way.

332
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,677
I want to help you
find your way again.

333
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:10,279
Do you ever think
about us being together?

334
00:18:10,347 --> 00:18:11,547
Do you?

335
00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:20,356
I'm not in treatment
with you any longer.

336
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,658
You can answer the question.

337
00:18:29,099 --> 00:18:30,666
Wow.

338
00:18:32,369 --> 00:18:35,671
You are a good therapist.

339
00:18:42,980 --> 00:18:46,082
Paul, will you think
about coming next week?

340
00:18:48,151 --> 00:18:51,854
I can't.
I need to stop.

341
00:18:51,889 --> 00:18:54,156
I just...

342
00:18:56,827 --> 00:18:58,527
I have to.

343
00:19:00,397 --> 00:19:01,831
Good luck to you.

344
00:19:08,171 --> 00:19:11,607
My door wilt always be
open to you.

345
00:19:11,675 --> 00:19:14,710
Well, it's okay.

346
00:19:14,745 --> 00:19:17,546
You can close it behind me.

347
00:20:29,219 --> 00:20:31,354
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348
00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:33,565
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349
00:20:34,005 --> 00:20:35,669
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