1
00:00:01,113 --> 00:00:03,881
Are you wussies ready
to be annihilated?
2
00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:07,852
Witness the awesome power of Todd!
3
00:00:15,660 --> 00:00:19,430
I am Todd the metal God!
4
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:26,536
I want you, Todd.
5
00:00:27,805 --> 00:00:32,876
This song goes out to the
owner of these sweet panties.
6
00:00:33,878 --> 00:00:35,879
Jenny kolinsky!
7
00:00:38,449 --> 00:00:42,484
It's a love song I wrote called...
8
00:00:42,552 --> 00:00:46,421
"sexy she-witch of Hades!"
9
00:01:21,355 --> 00:01:24,357
I chort off better than you play!
10
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,860
Chort offs!
11
00:01:29,029 --> 00:01:30,963
Chort offs! Chort offs!
12
00:01:31,031 --> 00:01:39,272
Chort offs! Chort offs!
Chort offs! Chort offs!
13
00:01:43,542 --> 00:01:45,576
Knock it off, Stuart.
14
00:01:45,644 --> 00:01:47,712
C'mon, we're just having
a little fun, babe.
15
00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:53,118
Just wait 'til you hear
the song I wrote for you.
16
00:01:53,186 --> 00:01:55,220
You wrote a song for me?
17
00:01:55,288 --> 00:01:58,256
Thank you. Barbarian Apocalypse.
18
00:01:59,424 --> 00:02:01,892
That was wonderful.
19
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:04,028
Next up is quarterback.
20
00:02:05,396 --> 00:02:07,464
Goodnight, crowley high!
21
00:02:15,973 --> 00:02:21,344
♪ I hurt... I hurt... ♪
22
00:02:21,645 --> 00:02:26,716
♪ I hurt fooooor you! ♪
23
00:02:27,417 --> 00:02:31,486
* I can't get you out of my head. *
24
00:02:33,422 --> 00:02:37,492
* I can't sleep alone in my bed. *
25
00:02:38,627 --> 00:02:43,098
can barely breathe,
or speak, or move.
26
00:02:43,999 --> 00:02:45,699
Adriano_csi www.
Addic7ed.Com
27
00:02:55,677 --> 00:02:58,213
dude, we totally kicked hatch!
28
00:02:58,280 --> 00:02:59,815
They were chorting off at us.
29
00:02:59,883 --> 00:03:01,817
I thought they were
chorting off with us.
30
00:03:01,885 --> 00:03:03,819
Face it, Curtis, we totally sucked.
31
00:03:03,887 --> 00:03:05,820
You know what your problem is?
32
00:03:05,888 --> 00:03:07,822
You need to get baked.
33
00:03:07,890 --> 00:03:09,824
I'm not in the mood.
34
00:03:09,892 --> 00:03:11,826
What? But, you're always in the mood.
35
00:03:11,894 --> 00:03:13,828
Man, this is about Jenny, isn't it?
36
00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:15,830
I can't stop thinking about her.
37
00:03:15,898 --> 00:03:17,832
And it's not just her awesome rack.
38
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,267
She's smart and, like, mysterious...
39
00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:22,836
and she's got an awesome rack.
40
00:03:22,904 --> 00:03:25,872
Man, what does she see in that twit?
41
00:03:26,541 --> 00:03:28,642
He can play guitar and
sing at the same time,
42
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,877
he's really good-looking,
got a cool car,
43
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:32,879
captain of the football team,
44
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:34,881
and I hear he's got a jock, like,
45
00:03:34,949 --> 00:03:37,017
the size of a jock and a half.
46
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:41,086
But, I bet your jock is,
like, the size of 2 jocks.
47
00:03:41,454 --> 00:03:44,523
And those 2 jocks
have 2 sets of bags.
48
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:49,061
And 2 sets of bags are exactly what I need
49
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,764
to make Jenny forget about
that jock-rock loser!
50
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,965
Jock and a half rock loser, but yes!
51
00:03:54,232 --> 00:03:56,668
Let's go show Jenny your bags.
52
00:03:58,170 --> 00:04:01,205
Jenny, how do I put
this delicately?
53
00:04:01,974 --> 00:04:04,375
Sometimes, daddies leave home
54
00:04:04,443 --> 00:04:07,111
because they just don't
want to be daddies anymore.
55
00:04:07,179 --> 00:04:09,013
Okay, it's not about you.
56
00:04:09,081 --> 00:04:11,281
It's about not wanting
to b e with you.
57
00:04:11,348 --> 00:04:14,685
But, he didn't lea ve me, Mr.
Murphy, he disappeared.
58
00:04:14,752 --> 00:04:17,187
And I think it has
something to do with this.
59
00:04:24,762 --> 00:04:26,829
Where did you get this picture?
60
00:04:27,197 --> 00:04:29,264
It was hidden in my dad's office.
61
00:04:29,532 --> 00:04:31,533
He was researching the
origins of this book.
62
00:04:32,603 --> 00:04:35,137
Well, Jenny, my advice
to you is start focusing
63
00:04:35,205 --> 00:04:38,240
on your school books and not on
this fool's book. Now, shoo...
64
00:04:38,308 --> 00:04:40,977
Mr. Murphy has a lot of
business to attend to.
65
00:04:41,044 --> 00:04:43,078
Thanks for nothing.
66
00:04:46,949 --> 00:04:49,017
Thanks for nothing.
67
00:04:52,021 --> 00:04:55,924
It's me- we're going to have to
deal with the daughter as well.
68
00:04:55,992 --> 00:04:57,992
Okay, she's coming,
don't freak out.
69
00:04:58,059 --> 00:05:00,027
Go get her, Todd.
70
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,630
Thanks a lot, stoogecake!
71
00:05:05,333 --> 00:05:07,367
Um- I'm sorry...
72
00:05:07,435 --> 00:05:09,402
can you just leave it, okay?
73
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:16,610
Enjoying the scenery?
74
00:05:16,677 --> 00:05:18,645
Um...
75
00:05:18,979 --> 00:05:21,014
I'm- I'm Todd.
76
00:05:21,081 --> 00:05:23,016
Is this conversation going anywhere?
77
00:05:23,083 --> 00:05:25,985
Do you want it to go somewhere?
'Cause we could, like...
78
00:05:28,422 --> 00:05:31,691
we could, like, go, like, for
ice cream, or something...
79
00:05:33,827 --> 00:05:35,895
Did you just ask my woman out?
80
00:05:36,596 --> 00:05:38,664
Just leave him alone, Stuart.
81
00:05:38,998 --> 00:05:41,033
Yeah, Stuart...
82
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,969
we'll settle this at the
battle of the bands.
83
00:05:44,037 --> 00:05:47,005
You didn't even make the cut! Pin-hole.
84
00:06:08,561 --> 00:06:11,027
Even guitars gently weep, little dude.
85
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:14,831
Yeah? What do you know?
86
00:06:15,099 --> 00:06:17,000
Check it out, little dude...
87
00:06:17,068 --> 00:06:20,337
this self defeatist manner,
bro, does not become you.
88
00:06:20,805 --> 00:06:23,340
You gotta show all those posers, man,
89
00:06:23,408 --> 00:06:26,875
that you truly are a heavy metal God.
90
00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:29,812
But, I'm a loser.
91
00:06:29,879 --> 00:06:32,248
You could always practice. Loser.
92
00:06:33,584 --> 00:06:35,618
Or...
93
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:38,053
you could find the book of pure evil.
94
00:06:38,589 --> 00:06:40,623
The what?
95
00:06:40,691 --> 00:06:44,526
Anyone who listens to metal
knows the book of pure evil.
96
00:06:44,594 --> 00:06:46,528
Loser.
97
00:06:46,596 --> 00:06:48,697
Legend has it that the
book was stitched together
98
00:06:48,764 --> 00:06:50,798
with the foreskin of Judas.
99
00:06:50,866 --> 00:06:52,767
That must have been some foreskin.
100
00:06:54,737 --> 00:06:56,904
I gotta get back to class.
101
00:06:56,972 --> 00:06:59,806
The book of pure evil can give
you anything you desire.
102
00:07:00,141 --> 00:07:02,209
Anything I desire?
103
00:07:02,544 --> 00:07:06,614
Imagine, little dude, the one thing
you want more than anything.
104
00:07:07,482 --> 00:07:10,384
Feel it, loser, deep inside.
105
00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,986
Deep inside?
106
00:07:13,054 --> 00:07:14,987
Inside your pants.
107
00:07:19,092 --> 00:07:21,160
Toke?
108
00:07:23,564 --> 00:07:27,833
Imagine the one thing you
want more than anything...
109
00:07:28,569 --> 00:07:32,036
Feel it, loser, deep inside.
110
00:07:33,072 --> 00:07:35,540
Inside your pants...
111
00:07:36,075 --> 00:07:40,145
Pants... pants...
112
00:07:40,747 --> 00:07:43,548
I want you, Todd.
113
00:07:50,188 --> 00:07:53,791
The book of pure evil can
make any desire come true.
114
00:07:53,858 --> 00:07:55,893
Toke?
115
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,995
It was stitched together
from the foreskin of Judas.
116
00:07:58,062 --> 00:08:00,097
Foreskin... toke?
117
00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:02,099
Anything you desire...
118
00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,100
Foreskin... foreskin...
119
00:08:34,463 --> 00:08:36,497
What you doing there, Todd?
120
00:08:36,565 --> 00:08:38,633
Oh, hey, Jimmy...
121
00:08:40,402 --> 00:08:42,470
do you think you could
open that case for me?
122
00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:45,005
It's gonna cost ya.
123
00:08:45,073 --> 00:08:47,041
Well, I got...
124
00:08:50,578 --> 00:08:54,180
A buck forty-nine and my lucky condom.
125
00:08:54,682 --> 00:08:56,717
How long have you had that lucky condom?
126
00:08:56,784 --> 00:08:58,852
I don't know, a couple of years, I guess.
127
00:08:58,919 --> 00:09:00,987
I'll take the money.
128
00:09:36,154 --> 00:09:41,157
"Planto... mihi... lascivio...
129
00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:45,629
"Valde... sanus!"
130
00:10:29,647 --> 00:10:31,715
Stooge!
131
00:10:32,917 --> 00:10:34,952
Did you just call me a stooge?
132
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:36,987
If the stooge fits.
133
00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:42,959
I challengeouou to a duel.
134
00:10:43,026 --> 00:10:45,194
Your guitar against mine.
135
00:10:46,263 --> 00:10:48,765
Lunch hour. In the cafeteria.
136
00:10:49,867 --> 00:10:51,934
I'm gonna slay you, Todd.
137
00:10:52,870 --> 00:10:55,637
I'm going to make you
bleed out your hatch.
138
00:11:06,048 --> 00:11:08,116
You're going down, dude.
139
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,986
He's totally going to slay you, Todd.
140
00:11:12,053 --> 00:11:15,022
This time it shall be I who slays he.
141
00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:17,057
Your voice just went totally awesome.
142
00:11:17,392 --> 00:11:19,459
Hey, where'd youetet that guitar?
143
00:11:19,727 --> 00:11:21,695
Let's do this.
144
00:11:38,279 --> 00:11:43,515
Elececicic guitar music)
145
00:11:43,582 --> 00:11:46,852
Hehey y metal micic)
146
00:11:46,953 --> 00:11:48,954
Yeah, , td!
147
00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:51,690
(Studentsts cerer
148
00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:28,191
what the fuggles?
149
00:12:28,692 --> 00:12:30,760
Help me, Jenny...
150
00:12:31,261 --> 00:12:33,329
I'm bleeding out of my hatch.
151
00:12:33,864 --> 00:12:35,898
Uh, there-there, baby...
152
00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:38,300
Ow!
153
00:12:38,368 --> 00:12:40,903
If I could do it again, I would
have made him bleed out his...
154
00:12:40,971 --> 00:12:42,905
Yeah, I don't know, man...
155
00:12:42,973 --> 00:12:44,940
hey, Todd!
156
00:12:45,775 --> 00:12:47,775
Your band is so awesome.
157
00:12:48,077 --> 00:12:50,111
I was just thinking if you wanted to
158
00:12:50,179 --> 00:12:53,114
get together and talk about
metal, or metallurgy,
159
00:12:53,182 --> 00:12:55,216
I would be more than happy to do that.
160
00:12:55,284 --> 00:12:57,252
Yeah, you might want to get that framed.
161
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,855
Um...
162
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,492
No idea who she is and
she's always like-
163
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,727
dude! That was amazing.
164
00:13:09,230 --> 00:13:13,200
Uh... Curtis, meet the new
members of barbarian apocalypse.
165
00:13:13,268 --> 00:13:16,203
We're replacing quarterback at
battle of the bands tonight.
166
00:13:16,271 --> 00:13:19,272
That's awesome! Two drummers! Yeah!
167
00:13:22,242 --> 00:13:25,278
I'm sorry, Curtis, but we don't
need two drummers in the band.
168
00:13:25,345 --> 00:13:27,280
What are you saying?
169
00:13:27,347 --> 00:13:29,181
I'm saying, I'm sorry, Curtis,
170
00:13:29,249 --> 00:13:33,185
but we don't need two
drummers in the band.
171
00:13:33,253 --> 00:13:35,287
Curtis...
172
00:13:35,354 --> 00:13:38,290
no, I heard you the second time.
Loud and clear.
173
00:13:46,799 --> 00:13:49,233
Welcome to crowley high's
battle of the bands.
174
00:13:52,304 --> 00:13:57,207
Well, tonight we start with the
hip-hop stylings of...Posse fresh.
175
00:13:58,009 --> 00:14:00,043
Posse fresh, fresh!
176
00:14:02,012 --> 00:14:04,047
Posse fresh.
177
00:14:04,114 --> 00:14:06,082
Whatever. Rich.
178
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,354
Hi, Todd.
179
00:14:11,422 --> 00:14:14,424
You were amazing in
the cafeteria today.
180
00:14:14,825 --> 00:14:16,859
Where'd you get that cool guitar?
181
00:14:16,927 --> 00:14:18,861
Ow!
182
00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:21,864
My guitar's a little sensitive
about other people touching it.
183
00:14:21,932 --> 00:14:23,899
Are you sensitive to touch?
184
00:14:24,835 --> 00:14:26,869
Uh...
185
00:14:26,937 --> 00:14:29,171
Why don't you and I go someplace private?
186
00:14:29,439 --> 00:14:32,407
I'd love to see these magical
fingers of yours at work.
187
00:14:34,243 --> 00:14:36,945
She doesn't want your
paws on her fun bags.
188
00:14:37,213 --> 00:14:39,214
She wants her hands on the book!
189
00:14:39,282 --> 00:14:42,250
Who knows? Maybe you could
teach me a few things.
190
00:14:42,685 --> 00:14:44,752
She's onto us. Eliminate her.
191
00:14:45,788 --> 00:14:47,821
Do her, then eliminate her.
192
00:14:47,889 --> 00:14:49,823
No!
193
00:14:49,891 --> 00:14:51,859
Eliminate her, then do her?
194
00:14:52,127 --> 00:14:54,095
What's going on, Todd?
195
00:14:54,162 --> 00:14:56,097
Look, I gotta get ready to go on stage.
196
00:14:56,164 --> 00:14:58,099
I know you have the book, Todd!
197
00:14:58,166 --> 00:15:00,334
You have no idea how dangerous it is.
198
00:15:00,402 --> 00:15:02,436
Now, hand it over!
199
00:15:02,504 --> 00:15:04,437
She just wants the book for herself!
She doesn't care about you!
200
00:15:04,505 --> 00:15:06,473
You just want the book for yourself!
201
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,908
You doesn't care about me!
202
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,611
Yeah, you got that right!
Now, give it to me!
203
00:15:11,879 --> 00:15:13,880
Todd! Todd!
204
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:17,117
Todd, you little dork-nugget! Let me out!
205
00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:20,085
Todd, don't you run away! Get back here!
206
00:15:23,156 --> 00:15:26,125
Our final act - mercifully...
207
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:28,027
is barbarian apocalypse.
208
00:15:36,535 --> 00:15:38,602
Yeah, Todd!
209
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:41,472
Prepare to be conquered,
crowley high!
210
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,275
Conquer me, Todd.
211
00:15:54,618 --> 00:15:56,686
The book of pure evil?
212
00:15:57,121 --> 00:15:59,156
After all these years...
213
00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:40,761
Hello?
214
00:16:40,829 --> 00:16:42,863
Help! Get me out of this locker!
215
00:16:42,931 --> 00:16:44,765
I have to save the school
before everybody dies!
216
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:46,801
Hold on!
217
00:16:46,868 --> 00:16:49,236
Hurry! One more! That's good!
218
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,182
Cover your ears! We've got to stop Todd!
219
00:17:32,878 --> 00:17:34,946
You shall die!
220
00:17:38,483 --> 00:17:40,518
Do something!
221
00:17:40,585 --> 00:17:42,520
You do something!
222
00:17:42,587 --> 00:17:44,521
Ahhhhhhhhhh!
223
00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:51,995
Don't do it, Curtis!
224
00:17:52,063 --> 00:17:54,264
It's the only clue I have to find my dad.
225
00:17:54,932 --> 00:17:57,000
Don't do it, Curtis!
226
00:17:57,268 --> 00:18:01,704
Join me and you will have
everything you ever dreamed of.
227
00:18:02,605 --> 00:18:05,374
I'm sorry, Todd, this bad
beast has got to burn.
228
00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:08,510
No!
229
00:18:23,959 --> 00:18:26,027
Todd!
230
00:18:26,796 --> 00:18:28,830
Shoot!
231
00:18:28,898 --> 00:18:30,865
Todd, are you okay?
232
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,433
Don't worry about me.
233
00:18:33,501 --> 00:18:35,468
Are you okay?
234
00:18:37,538 --> 00:18:39,606
Eew, what the heck is goin' on in here?
235
00:18:40,575 --> 00:18:42,609
Uh...
236
00:18:42,677 --> 00:18:45,079
The battle of the bands
kind of got out of control.
237
00:18:45,546 --> 00:18:47,514
You kids sure know how to party, man...
238
00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:49,515
I haven't seen this much
blood since that kid
239
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:51,650
bled out his hatch this morning.
240
00:18:52,285 --> 00:18:54,353
Dude, that was so awesome.
241
00:18:54,855 --> 00:18:56,923
Except for almost killing everyone.
242
00:18:57,191 --> 00:18:59,192
Yeah, I'm just glad it's over.
243
00:18:59,259 --> 00:19:01,560
What do you mean over?
That thing's still out there
244
00:19:01,628 --> 00:19:03,729
and we've got to find it
before it hurts anybody else.
245
00:19:03,796 --> 00:19:06,798
Uh, not my problem. Let somebody else deal with it.
Let's go get baked...
246
00:19:06,866 --> 00:19:08,800
awesome.
247
00:19:08,868 --> 00:19:11,669
After everything that's happened,
how can you not feel responsible?
248
00:19:12,304 --> 00:19:15,340
God, you guys are such idiots.
249
00:19:18,177 --> 00:19:21,245
Dude, this is your chance to
finally get close to Jenny.
250
00:19:22,380 --> 00:19:24,448
Hey, Jenny, wait!
251
00:19:25,884 --> 00:19:29,920
Now, I've given it a lot of thought
and I think that the best way
252
00:19:29,988 --> 00:19:32,056
to find the book is to work together.
253
00:19:34,059 --> 00:19:36,126
Close.
254
00:19:36,861 --> 00:19:38,928
R eal close.
255
00:19:39,630 --> 00:19:41,697
I'm already regretting this.
256
00:19:44,668 --> 00:19:46,702
So, are we getting paid for this?
257
00:19:46,771 --> 00:19:48,704
No, we're not getting paid.
258
00:19:48,773 --> 00:19:50,706
I really think we should be
drawing some kind of salary.
259
00:19:50,775 --> 00:19:52,707
Well, it's not going to happen, okay?
260
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,609
We should, like, go back
to your house tonight
261
00:19:54,677 --> 00:19:56,711
and talk about how we're
going to find the book.
262
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,613
Um, that's not going to happen either.
263
00:19:58,681 --> 00:20:00,615
Yeah, it's a bit late.
Let's do it tomorrow night.
264
00:20:00,683 --> 00:20:02,617
I can totally do it tomorrow night.
265
00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:04,619
Uh, I don't remember you
being invited, dude.
266
00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:07,969
Uh, I don't remember you
being invited, dude.
267
00:20:07,981 --> 00:20:10,016
I can't believe the book actually exists.
268
00:20:10,083 --> 00:20:12,018
It was totally like, 'pow'!
269
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:14,020
And then I was like, 'whoa'!
270
00:20:14,087 --> 00:20:16,055
And then the book totally flew away.
271
00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:18,825
The prophecy!
272
00:20:18,892 --> 00:20:21,226
We must prepare for the final countdown.
273
00:20:21,294 --> 00:20:23,228
I'll sharpen the knives and get a goat.
274
00:20:23,296 --> 00:20:25,263
Silence!
275
00:20:26,999 --> 00:20:29,067
It is a glorious day.
276
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:32,204
At long last we have
found the book.
277
00:20:32,471 --> 00:20:34,906
And soon it will be ours again.
278
00:20:35,607 --> 00:20:40,010
The prophecy will be fulfilled
and we will reap the rewards.
279
00:20:40,545 --> 00:20:44,014
Um, yeah- about that prophecy...
280
00:20:45,951 --> 00:20:50,020
the book flew away. In flames.
All gone, bye-bye.
281
00:20:50,655 --> 00:20:54,724
Oh, atticus, it takes more
than fire to destroy the book.
282
00:20:55,559 --> 00:20:59,262
It survives. Perhaps weakened,
283
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:02,398
but searching for another soul
from which to draw power.
284
00:21:03,567 --> 00:21:07,636
It will make itself known to
whomever needs it the most.
285
00:21:08,438 --> 00:21:13,509
The insecure. The desperate.
The feeble.
286
00:21:14,845 --> 00:21:18,146
They will find comfort in
the bosom of the book.
287
00:21:19,683 --> 00:21:22,718
Then there will be chaos.
288
00:21:26,756 --> 00:21:28,790
And that's... a good thing?