1 00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,200 Pledges of Omega Sig... 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,400 Welcome to Rivalry Week! 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:10,360 Isn't the cop who pull us over when we got the fake I.D.s? 4 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,360 Yeah, I think it is. 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,567 Don't worry. He won't remember us. 6 00:00:12,601 --> 00:00:13,935 Mr. Murphowitzbergstein! 7 00:00:13,969 --> 00:00:16,304 Pleasure to see you again, brother. 8 00:00:16,338 --> 00:00:17,906 Pleasure to see you. All right. 9 00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:19,641 I can't believe he remembers my fake name. 10 00:00:19,675 --> 00:00:20,975 I didn't even know your fake name. 11 00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:22,977 All right, enough chatter, Portersmith. 12 00:00:23,012 --> 00:00:27,315 I am officer Alvin P. Buck. 13 00:00:27,349 --> 00:00:30,385 Anyone here know what happened 14 00:00:30,419 --> 00:00:33,288 When Hayes and Holy Dome University 15 00:00:33,322 --> 00:00:36,891 Played their first game in 1935? 16 00:00:36,926 --> 00:00:38,860 FDR created social security, 17 00:00:38,894 --> 00:00:40,929 Beginning America's long, slow March to the left. 18 00:00:40,963 --> 00:00:42,530 Button it, Buttonshaw. 19 00:00:42,565 --> 00:00:46,234 I am talking football, gentlemen. 20 00:00:46,268 --> 00:00:48,770 1935, Hayes versus Holy Dome -- 21 00:00:48,804 --> 00:00:51,606 7 touchdowns, 12 turnovers, 4 trick plays. 22 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,342 Moynihan, you read your sports almanac. 23 00:00:54,376 --> 00:00:56,544 But what you won't find in there is that after the game, 24 00:00:56,579 --> 00:00:58,446 The Hayes quarterback -- 25 00:00:58,481 --> 00:01:00,782 He took home the girlfriend of the Holy Dome star player. 26 00:01:00,816 --> 00:01:03,718 Look at that. Look at that. There it is. 27 00:01:03,753 --> 00:01:05,954 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. 28 00:01:05,988 --> 00:01:08,823 Yeah, he made sweet love to her unholy domes 29 00:01:08,858 --> 00:01:11,392 For three straight days. 30 00:01:11,427 --> 00:01:13,328 Whoo! All right! 31 00:01:13,362 --> 00:01:15,730 Then, the following year, in retaliation, 32 00:01:15,765 --> 00:01:20,568 The holy domers burned the outline of a Leprechaun 33 00:01:20,603 --> 00:01:22,871 Onto the Hayes football field 34 00:01:24,473 --> 00:01:25,774 What?! 35 00:01:25,808 --> 00:01:28,877 Two years later, that Holy Dome was tarnished 36 00:01:28,911 --> 00:01:32,380 By the freshly painted logo of Hayes University. 37 00:01:32,414 --> 00:01:33,681 Yeah! Amen! 38 00:01:35,351 --> 00:01:37,852 That's right! All right. 39 00:01:37,887 --> 00:01:40,855 Whew! God, what I would've given to have been alive that day. 40 00:01:43,025 --> 00:01:44,826 Now, I bet a lot of y'all are wondering why I, 41 00:01:44,860 --> 00:01:46,861 Officer Alvin P. Buck, take this rivalry so personally. 42 00:01:46,896 --> 00:01:48,429 Why you take it so personally? 43 00:01:48,464 --> 00:01:50,064 You are wondering, aren't you, boys? 44 00:01:50,099 --> 00:01:51,566 All right! Now, let me tell you. 45 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:53,434 You are looking at a proud graduate 46 00:01:53,469 --> 00:01:56,571 Of Hayes University, class of 1971, 47 00:01:56,605 --> 00:01:59,541 And proud soldier sworn to defend it 48 00:01:59,575 --> 00:02:02,977 Against all those who would defile it. 49 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:09,000 Sync and corrected by www.addic7ed.com 50 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:15,800 Glory Daze - Season 1, Episode 8 "Shamrock You Like a Hurricane" 51 00:02:17,927 --> 00:02:20,361 Gentlemen, I give you 52 00:02:20,396 --> 00:02:24,566 The statue of Arthur Wesley Hayes... 53 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,734 Our founder. 54 00:02:26,769 --> 00:02:29,037 During rivalry week, 55 00:02:29,071 --> 00:02:32,473 It is the duty of all fraternity pledges 56 00:02:32,508 --> 00:02:36,010 To protect the Hayes statue from desecration. 57 00:02:36,045 --> 00:02:38,646 This gentleman will be standing in 58 00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:41,115 For the Hayes statue... 59 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:44,819 Given that he is of t approximate gi-I-I-rth 60 00:02:44,854 --> 00:02:48,122 And gravita-a-a-s of our noble founder. 61 00:02:48,157 --> 00:02:49,591 Why, thank you. 62 00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:51,893 Not enough people mention my gravitas. 63 00:02:51,927 --> 00:02:53,528 Lock 'em up! Lock 'em up! 64 00:02:53,562 --> 00:02:54,796 Lock it! 65 00:02:55,798 --> 00:02:57,532 Focus, boys. 66 00:02:57,566 --> 00:02:58,766 Hold that line! 67 00:02:58,801 --> 00:02:59,934 We're holding! 68 00:03:03,739 --> 00:03:06,774 Oh, come on, man! Can't not gonna get me wet?! 69 00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:09,777 Aw. You got a problem with wet. 70 00:03:09,812 --> 00:03:12,981 Hold that line! Hold that line! 71 00:03:13,015 --> 00:03:16,084 If you can't guard a man, how can you guard a statue? 72 00:03:16,118 --> 00:03:19,420 If a ball gets through, I don't want to be you! 73 00:03:19,455 --> 00:03:21,756 Take that! Oh! Hold the line, boys! 74 00:03:21,790 --> 00:03:22,891 Focus! 75 00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:27,762 15 miles per hour of pure hell coming at you, boys. 76 00:03:27,796 --> 00:03:29,497 Hold that line! We're holding! 77 00:03:29,531 --> 00:03:30,865 Hold it! We're holding! 78 00:03:44,113 --> 00:03:46,848 Congratulations, Omega Sig pledges. 79 00:03:46,882 --> 00:03:51,552 You are now ready to serve and protect. 80 00:03:51,587 --> 00:03:55,023 The Hayes statue is in good hands. 81 00:03:55,057 --> 00:03:57,091 Hayes U! Hayes U! 82 00:03:57,126 --> 00:03:59,394 Hayes U! Hayes U! Hayes U! 83 00:03:59,428 --> 00:04:01,462 Hayes U! Hayes U! Hayes U! 84 00:04:01,553 --> 00:04:03,464 Hayes U! Hayes U! Hayes U! 85 00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:09,137 Hey, better him than me. 86 00:04:09,171 --> 00:04:10,772 Oh! 87 00:04:10,806 --> 00:04:13,441 You have no idea what an important job this is, guys. 88 00:04:13,475 --> 00:04:15,476 Some of the best times of my freshman year 89 00:04:15,511 --> 00:04:18,146 Were on that line, defending that statue. 90 00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,847 Hector single-handedly fought off 91 00:04:19,882 --> 00:04:21,416 A Holy Dome blowtorch attack. 92 00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,984 Yes, I did. 93 00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:24,852 Your pledge class president will be in charge 94 00:04:24,887 --> 00:04:26,421 Of organizing you 95 00:04:26,455 --> 00:04:28,423 And arranging shifts with the other pledge classes. 96 00:04:28,457 --> 00:04:30,925 Uh...Damon, we don't -- 97 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,061 We don't have a pledge class president. 98 00:04:35,597 --> 00:04:36,864 What do you do with these guys? 99 00:04:36,899 --> 00:04:39,000 Man! Knew I forgot something! 100 00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:42,737 I got mid-terms, my mama's birthday coming up. 101 00:04:42,771 --> 00:04:43,972 I got this -- 102 00:04:44,006 --> 00:04:45,740 I got this unexplained rash 103 00:04:45,774 --> 00:04:47,475 That's causing all types of consternation... 104 00:04:47,509 --> 00:04:49,610 I would be honored to serve as pledge class pr-- 105 00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:52,447 Uh, Harrington... Consider yourself elected. 106 00:04:52,481 --> 00:04:54,215 Guys, meet your new class president. 107 00:04:55,617 --> 00:04:57,952 Really? 108 00:04:57,987 --> 00:04:59,787 I'd follow your lead any day, man. 109 00:04:59,822 --> 00:05:00,822 Thanks. 110 00:05:03,192 --> 00:05:05,960 Ex-- excuse me, sir. Uh, one second. 111 00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:07,495 Um... 112 00:05:07,529 --> 00:05:09,664 Not that Joel isn't a fantastic choice -- 113 00:05:09,698 --> 00:05:12,000 You are. He is -- 114 00:05:12,034 --> 00:05:14,802 But, as somebody with his own political aspirations, 115 00:05:14,837 --> 00:05:17,505 I have to ask -- why not me? 116 00:05:17,539 --> 00:05:19,741 I don't know. I-I just -- I don't know. 117 00:05:19,775 --> 00:05:21,242 Joel seems like the kind of person 118 00:05:21,276 --> 00:05:23,811 That'll take a taser to the nut sack to save his buddies. 119 00:05:23,846 --> 00:05:25,213 Uh, Turbo, Joel did literally 120 00:05:25,247 --> 00:05:27,081 Take a taser to the nut sack to save his buddies. 121 00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:29,217 He did? You saw it happen. 122 00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:30,985 I knew I had a good feeling about you, Joel. 123 00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:32,754 What about you, songbird? 124 00:05:32,788 --> 00:05:36,057 Your jewels ever ride a lightning stick for this house? 125 00:05:36,091 --> 00:05:38,459 Can't say that I have. 126 00:05:38,494 --> 00:05:39,927 It okay, man. 127 00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:42,597 We can't all have lucky nut bags. 128 00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:46,734 Mr. Pledge class president? 129 00:05:46,769 --> 00:05:48,202 Yeah? 130 00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:50,605 Can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah. 131 00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,974 Attaboy, Joel. 132 00:05:53,008 --> 00:05:56,044 You know, um... 133 00:05:56,078 --> 00:05:58,613 You and I have gotten to know each other these last few weeks, 134 00:05:58,647 --> 00:06:00,148 And you've really shown me something. 135 00:06:00,182 --> 00:06:02,450 And that means making tough decisions, 136 00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:04,085 Unpopular decisions. 137 00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:06,187 Like no hitting golf balls off the roof. Exactly. 138 00:06:06,221 --> 00:06:08,990 But we do hit golf balls off the roof. 139 00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:11,759 That's 'cause I don't really like saying no. 140 00:06:11,794 --> 00:06:14,862 But I did say no to grain alcohol at rush functions. Yes. 141 00:06:14,897 --> 00:06:17,465 Leadership can be lonely, Joel. 142 00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:20,001 So, if you ever need anyone to talk to, 143 00:06:20,035 --> 00:06:22,003 Somebody that really understands what you're going through, 144 00:06:22,037 --> 00:06:23,805 Just call Reno. 145 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,074 O-- I'm kidding. 146 00:06:26,108 --> 00:06:27,742 Call Turbo. 147 00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:30,078 Kidding again. Call me. 148 00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:32,547 uh, just not that late. I get up early. 149 00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:34,682 Okay. 150 00:06:42,858 --> 00:06:45,526 Hi! Excuse me. Are you registered to vote? 151 00:06:45,561 --> 00:06:47,161 Hey. 152 00:06:47,196 --> 00:06:50,531 Hey, baby. I can't believe how apathetic these people are. 153 00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,500 They care more about this stupid college rivalry 154 00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:54,035 Than the fate of our nation. 155 00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:56,037 Some people just don't understand the value of leadership. 156 00:06:56,071 --> 00:06:57,538 Leadership of the senate, 157 00:06:57,573 --> 00:06:59,507 Leadership of the pledge class... 158 00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:02,710 What are you talking about? 159 00:07:02,744 --> 00:07:05,246 I just got passed over for pledge class president. 160 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,014 Well, why didn't you tell me you were running? 161 00:07:07,049 --> 00:07:08,716 You know what I can do with a button-maker. 162 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,918 I didn't tell you because there was never an election. 163 00:07:10,953 --> 00:07:14,222 No campaign, no debates, no kissing babies. 164 00:07:14,256 --> 00:07:16,190 Everything that I've trained for, denied me. 165 00:07:16,225 --> 00:07:18,693 Well, this is an outrage. Who'd they pick? 166 00:07:18,727 --> 00:07:23,598 Joel -- a great guy and a friend. 167 00:07:23,632 --> 00:07:25,967 And, yeah -- yeah, he's great in a crisis situation. 168 00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:28,102 He's Mr. Charismatic. 169 00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:30,605 He understands the plight of the common man. 170 00:07:30,639 --> 00:07:32,306 But, seriously, empathy and leadership 171 00:07:32,341 --> 00:07:33,774 Do not a president make. 172 00:07:33,809 --> 00:07:34,876 No. 173 00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,544 Me and my unlucky nut bag. 174 00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:40,214 Jason, what have I told you about testicle humor? 175 00:07:40,249 --> 00:07:43,284 I -- I know. I'm sorry. I'm just -- I'm frustrated. 176 00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:44,852 It's okay, you know? 177 00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,554 Once those guys see what you're made of, 178 00:07:46,588 --> 00:07:47,688 You're gonna have your day. 179 00:07:47,723 --> 00:07:49,023 And lots of political leaders 180 00:07:49,057 --> 00:07:50,992 Suffered their setbacks in their beginnings -- 181 00:07:51,026 --> 00:07:52,927 Lincoln...Nixon. 182 00:07:52,961 --> 00:07:54,695 Oh, excuse me! 183 00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:56,764 Great, so I have impeachment and assassination 184 00:07:56,798 --> 00:07:59,300 To look forward to. 185 00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:03,938 Look, Jason, I-I really hope there's no hard feelings 186 00:08:03,972 --> 00:08:05,706 About this whole presidency thing. 187 00:08:05,741 --> 00:08:07,141 Oh, no. Not at all. 188 00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:08,943 Okay. 189 00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:11,579 But you are missing a vital part of your presidency. 190 00:08:11,613 --> 00:08:14,048 Hmm? A vice president. 191 00:08:14,082 --> 00:08:17,552 Vice president? Is that even allowed? 192 00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:20,221 If the u.S. Constitution has anything to say about it, it is. 193 00:08:20,255 --> 00:08:23,090 I mean, what if something were to happen to you? 194 00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:24,859 what? 195 00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,260 Hi, guys. 196 00:08:26,295 --> 00:08:27,328 Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! 197 00:08:27,362 --> 00:08:28,796 Hey, Christie. 198 00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:30,097 Nice -- nice job. 199 00:08:30,132 --> 00:08:32,166 Arthur appears to be in good hands. 200 00:08:32,201 --> 00:08:33,935 So, what are you doing out here? 201 00:08:33,969 --> 00:08:35,770 My journalism class is having each of us 202 00:08:35,804 --> 00:08:37,071 Write a story for the paper. 203 00:08:37,105 --> 00:08:38,606 I was hoping for something meaty, 204 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,007 You know, like an exposé 205 00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:41,876 Of the University's involvement in South Africa. 206 00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:44,278 Instead, I got you guys... Guarding the statue. 207 00:08:44,313 --> 00:08:46,847 Jane Pauley, look out. 208 00:08:46,882 --> 00:08:48,649 I actually had my sights set 209 00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:51,586 On more of a Diane Sawyer hosting "60 minutes." 210 00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:52,920 So I've been interviewing pledge classes, 211 00:08:52,955 --> 00:08:55,089 Getting quotes, taking pictures. 212 00:08:55,123 --> 00:08:57,091 Ah, who am I kidding? 213 00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:59,827 It's a total fluff piece to fill up space next to the dairy queen coupon. 214 00:08:59,861 --> 00:09:01,896 All right, fellas, you're off the hook. 215 00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:04,198 "off the hook"? What do you mean? 216 00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,301 Well, we're moving Arthur to a safer locale. 217 00:09:07,336 --> 00:09:10,037 Oh, but Officer Buck told us not to leave the statue, period. 218 00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:13,107 Yeah, well, I've got an authorization form straight from the dean. 219 00:09:13,141 --> 00:09:15,576 That's his signature right there. 220 00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:16,677 What's going on? 221 00:09:16,712 --> 00:09:18,646 Holy dome's been making threats. 222 00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,648 They're talking aerial assault -- 223 00:09:20,682 --> 00:09:23,217 Helicopters loaded with manure ready to drop. 224 00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:24,752 It's not pretty. 225 00:09:24,786 --> 00:09:27,088 Those sick bastards. 226 00:09:27,122 --> 00:09:28,956 Tell me about it. 227 00:09:28,991 --> 00:09:31,325 That's why we're moving him to a warehouse until after the game. 228 00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,127 So, if you wouldn't mind... 229 00:09:35,063 --> 00:09:37,832 Yeah, sure. Go ahead, officer. 230 00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,604 I mean, the least we can do is give you guys a hand. 231 00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:45,873 That'd be great. Thanks. Yeah, sure. 232 00:09:45,907 --> 00:09:47,308 Come on. 233 00:09:47,342 --> 00:09:49,844 Anything else? 234 00:09:58,987 --> 00:10:02,056 One last question -- when will the statue go back up? 235 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,125 As soon as the game's over on Saturday. 236 00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:05,960 thanks for your help. 237 00:10:05,994 --> 00:10:07,895 Hey, no problem. 238 00:10:07,929 --> 00:10:09,864 Bye, Arthur. 239 00:10:09,898 --> 00:10:11,799 What the -- what's going on, man? 240 00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,567 Hey! What the hell are they doing with Arthur? 241 00:10:13,602 --> 00:10:14,802 Oh, they're taking him the warehouse. 242 00:10:14,836 --> 00:10:16,103 Warehouse?! No, they're stealing him! 243 00:10:16,138 --> 00:10:19,940 Holy dome rules, suckers! 244 00:10:19,975 --> 00:10:22,043 Whoo-hoo-hoo! 245 00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:24,912 Arthur! Arthur! 246 00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:26,213 Arthur! 247 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:33,000 Fifty years of rivalry and you guys blow it. 248 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,203 Unbelievable... What were you guys thinking? 249 00:10:42,906 --> 00:10:45,841 You let them take the statue. 250 00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:48,343 No! Wait. 251 00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,312 You volunteered... 252 00:10:50,346 --> 00:10:54,249 Help them take the statue. 253 00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:58,554 That was sure nice of you. 254 00:10:58,588 --> 00:11:00,422 Did you make sure that they lifted with their legs? 255 00:11:00,457 --> 00:11:03,225 'cause I would hate for them to strain their backs 256 00:11:03,259 --> 00:11:05,427 Or -- oh, god forbid -- get a hernia. 257 00:11:05,462 --> 00:11:08,931 Damon, they had badges, okay? School I.D.s. 258 00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:10,833 I mean, they looked official. 259 00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:12,234 Really, guys? 260 00:11:12,268 --> 00:11:13,635 Every student on this campus 261 00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:16,238 Has a "totally official" fake I.D. 262 00:11:16,272 --> 00:11:18,207 You four have fake I.D.s. 263 00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:21,844 I know, but their authoritative attitude really sold it. 264 00:11:21,878 --> 00:11:23,712 Damon, with all due respect, 265 00:11:23,746 --> 00:11:25,848 We were trained to defend against a frontal assault. 266 00:11:25,882 --> 00:11:27,316 We never covered subterfuge. 267 00:11:28,685 --> 00:11:30,619 What about you, Joel? 268 00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:32,387 As the pledge class president, 269 00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:34,022 You're awfully quiet, aren't you? 270 00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:38,427 That's because nothing I say can change the fact 271 00:11:38,461 --> 00:11:39,995 That it happened on my watch. 272 00:11:40,029 --> 00:11:41,830 I should have seen something like this coming. 273 00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:43,365 This is on me. 274 00:11:45,268 --> 00:11:48,604 I appreciate you stepping up, 275 00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:51,406 But that doesn't change the fact that the statue's gone. 276 00:11:53,276 --> 00:11:54,943 How many people know 277 00:11:54,978 --> 00:11:57,312 That it was stolen on Omega Sig's watch? 278 00:11:57,347 --> 00:12:01,283 After the "Hayes spectator" comes out tomorrow... 279 00:12:02,819 --> 00:12:04,586 ...Everybody. 280 00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,391 I got to go do damage control. 281 00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:25,474 Yeah? 282 00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:29,044 Christie, hey! 283 00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:31,313 Hey. Hi. 284 00:12:31,347 --> 00:12:33,849 Oh, I'm so sorry. Were you sleeping? 285 00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,984 Oh, no. No, this -- this is mousse. 286 00:12:36,019 --> 00:12:37,986 I was trying out a new product. 287 00:12:38,021 --> 00:12:41,056 It's really working for you. 288 00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:44,459 Are you busy? I was hoping I could get a few quotes for my story. 289 00:12:44,494 --> 00:12:47,296 I mean, you were there. Think you saw what happened. 290 00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,998 We pretty much gift-wrapped the statue for the enemy. 291 00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:53,402 Don't beat yourself up. I mean, they fooled me, too. 292 00:12:53,436 --> 00:12:55,537 You don't mind including that in your story, do you? 293 00:12:55,572 --> 00:12:57,739 I don't know what to include. 294 00:12:57,774 --> 00:13:01,376 I mean, Damon wants me to soft-pedal the story. 295 00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:02,744 You guys are my friends. 296 00:13:02,779 --> 00:13:06,815 You know, I'm... Really conflicted. 297 00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:10,586 Well... What you want to do? 298 00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,055 I don't know. 299 00:13:13,089 --> 00:13:15,657 I thought covering this was gonna be a total joke, 300 00:13:15,692 --> 00:13:18,660 But, come on, Holy Dome's been after our statue for 50 years, 301 00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:20,562 And when they got it, I was there. 302 00:13:20,597 --> 00:13:22,864 I'm part of history, and now it's my story. 303 00:13:22,899 --> 00:13:25,367 I mean, someday, people could write stories 304 00:13:25,401 --> 00:13:26,969 About me writing this story. 305 00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:29,104 God, I hope not. 306 00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:31,640 I'd rather not relive this for the rest of my life. 307 00:13:31,674 --> 00:13:35,043 Look, I think that you should write what you want to write. 308 00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:39,715 I mean, what would Diane Sawyer do? 309 00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:41,149 Hmm? 310 00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,953 Oh, this is worse than I thought. 311 00:13:44,988 --> 00:13:46,755 Tell me about it. 312 00:13:46,789 --> 00:13:49,558 You know what, guys? At least the reporting is balanced. 313 00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:50,859 You know, she does make the point 314 00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:52,494 That it could've happened to anybody. 315 00:13:52,528 --> 00:13:54,563 Nice job, assholes! 316 00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:57,699 Yeah, I don't think the rest of the campus sees it that way. 317 00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:59,401 Great. 318 00:13:59,435 --> 00:14:01,703 So, we've managed to dishonor the Omega Sig house 319 00:14:01,738 --> 00:14:03,472 And the entire school. 320 00:14:06,876 --> 00:14:09,144 Then we have to restore honor to both. 321 00:14:09,178 --> 00:14:10,979 I can't believe we pulled this off. 322 00:14:11,014 --> 00:14:13,382 I'm gonna go find the guys. Don't let the hood come off. 323 00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:14,916 Is everything all set for the tailgate? 324 00:14:14,951 --> 00:14:16,952 Yeah, we got 15 pounds of charcoal fluid, 325 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,087 The beast has had its 50,000-mile tune-up, 326 00:14:19,122 --> 00:14:20,956 And Hector's been prepping the tamale cart all week. 327 00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,791 Oh, man -- 328 00:14:22,825 --> 00:14:24,960 Guys, there's something you need to see. 329 00:14:26,029 --> 00:14:27,929 Come here. 330 00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:44,079 Gentlemen, we'd like to present... 331 00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:46,114 The Holy Dome Leprechaun. 332 00:14:49,152 --> 00:14:51,186 this is awesome! 333 00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,689 Truly inspired, gentlemen! Yeah! 334 00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:55,057 Whoo! 335 00:14:55,091 --> 00:14:57,492 Wow! 336 00:14:57,527 --> 00:14:58,760 They got him! 337 00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,195 He's bigger than I thought. 338 00:15:06,869 --> 00:15:09,037 How did you guys pull this off? 339 00:15:09,072 --> 00:15:10,205 Well, we figured the best thing to do 340 00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:11,840 Was check all the hotels in town 341 00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:12,941 And find out where the Holy Dome team and staff 342 00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:14,509 Were staying for the game. 343 00:15:14,544 --> 00:15:15,777 And then sneak into the hotel laundry room 344 00:15:15,812 --> 00:15:17,479 And steal some hotel staff uniforms. 345 00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:19,081 And then pretend to deliver room service 346 00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:20,549 To the mascot's room. 347 00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:22,084 And then, when he opened the door, grab him. 348 00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:23,885 And that really worked? No. 349 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,588 None of the hotels would give us information on their guests. 350 00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,790 But we did saw a car with a Holy Dome bumper sticker 351 00:15:28,825 --> 00:15:30,792 Leaving the parking lot, and guess who was driving? 352 00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:32,060 This guy, yeah. 353 00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:33,862 So we followed him to a strip club, 354 00:15:33,896 --> 00:15:35,897 Ere, with the help of the lovely ladies of the booby trap, 355 00:15:35,932 --> 00:15:38,166 We managed to corner him in the champagne room. 356 00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:39,534 Ah, the booby trap. 357 00:15:39,569 --> 00:15:40,902 Did you tell Darlene I said hi? 358 00:15:40,937 --> 00:15:42,003 Yeah, she sends her best. 359 00:15:42,038 --> 00:15:43,839 Ahh! 360 00:15:45,742 --> 00:15:49,077 Now, where is the statue? Wait! 361 00:15:49,112 --> 00:15:50,679 yah! 362 00:15:50,713 --> 00:15:53,014 I'm not telling you anything, you cowardly bastards! 363 00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:56,251 Untie me, and I'll take on every one of you! 364 00:15:56,285 --> 00:15:58,487 Slap you so hard, you won't know what hit you 365 00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,522 Until you read about it in your obituary! 366 00:16:00,556 --> 00:16:02,057 Ha ha ha ha ha! 367 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,025 He's actually Irish. 368 00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:05,127 I know! 369 00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:06,895 Crazy. D foul-mouthed. 370 00:16:06,929 --> 00:16:08,997 And you're the seed, breed, and spawn of an english whore! 371 00:16:09,031 --> 00:16:10,565 Ooh. 372 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,668 You brigands are messing with the wrong Leprechaun! 373 00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:15,670 And he still doesn't break character. 374 00:16:18,574 --> 00:16:21,009 You got to admire this man's dedication to his craft. 375 00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:23,712 Look, if he doesn't say anything, worst-case scenario -- 376 00:16:23,746 --> 00:16:25,614 Right? -- We keep him here locked up, 377 00:16:25,648 --> 00:16:27,916 He's a no-show for the game -- we're heroes. 378 00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:31,186 More than that. I mean, we'd be legends. 379 00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,821 That's true, 380 00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,189 But just in case, let me... 381 00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:37,459 Just give me a second. 382 00:16:37,493 --> 00:16:40,462 Look, Leprechaun... 383 00:16:40,496 --> 00:16:42,130 I know you're not happy about this. 384 00:16:42,165 --> 00:16:43,799 But if you tell us where the statue is, 385 00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,534 We can have you at the booby trap in 10 minutes, 386 00:16:45,568 --> 00:16:47,035 Playing dollar-bill hide-and-seek with Darlene. 387 00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:49,638 How about you let me go, and I promise 388 00:16:49,672 --> 00:16:51,606 Not to beat thaggis out of you?! 389 00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:52,908 Huh?! Ha ha! 390 00:16:52,942 --> 00:16:55,610 Mr. President, he's all yours. 391 00:16:58,514 --> 00:17:00,715 But he... 392 00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:02,884 Well, I-I-I guess we're gonna -- we're gonna have to 393 00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:05,187 Keep you here until the end of the game. 394 00:17:05,221 --> 00:17:08,156 but we're gonna try to make you as comfortable as possible. 395 00:17:08,191 --> 00:17:09,758 All right? 396 00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:12,828 Uh, is there anything that you'd like to watch? 397 00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:15,964 Hmm. Aye. You shagging the little one. 398 00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:17,766 what?! 399 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,569 It's -- yeah. How about something to eat? 400 00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:22,137 Huh? I bet you could use a beer. 401 00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,272 Mnh! Beer is for women and children! 402 00:17:24,307 --> 00:17:27,175 Bring me an irish whiskey or nothing at all! 403 00:17:29,111 --> 00:17:31,646 Get the man some whiskey. 404 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,359 ♪ Ooh, Danny boy ♪ 405 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:41,097 ♪ the pipes, the pipes are calling ♪ 406 00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:43,366 ugh. 407 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,635 I've never seen anything like it. This is great! 408 00:17:45,669 --> 00:17:49,438 Boys! I got to shake the dew off me lily. 409 00:17:49,473 --> 00:17:51,107 I'm sorry, what? 410 00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:53,543 I think he has to pee, man. I mean, it makes sense. 411 00:17:53,577 --> 00:17:56,612 He just drank his weight in liquor. 412 00:17:56,647 --> 00:17:58,414 Oh, no. W-we can't untie him. 413 00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:00,383 Okay, then what do you want to do? 414 00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:01,751 All right, which one of you lucky lads 415 00:18:01,785 --> 00:18:03,586 Gets to unbutton my trousers? 416 00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:11,160 Just do me a favor -- warm your hands. 417 00:18:11,194 --> 00:18:14,530 Me Blarney Stones are a wee bit sensitive. 418 00:18:14,565 --> 00:18:16,299 no. No, no. Unh-unh. 419 00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,501 Well, that looks like a job for the president. 420 00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,636 What? No! 421 00:18:22,906 --> 00:18:25,474 All right, I'm gonna go see who that is. 422 00:18:25,509 --> 00:18:27,677 We'll draw straws when I get back, all right? 423 00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:35,851 Hey. 424 00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:37,887 What -- 425 00:18:37,921 --> 00:18:41,357 Professor Haines, what -- what brings you here? 426 00:18:41,391 --> 00:18:43,659 Oh, just reading about your latest exploits. 427 00:18:43,694 --> 00:18:45,628 We need to discuss this. 428 00:18:45,662 --> 00:18:47,296 Uh, you know what? 429 00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:49,265 I'm really glad that you stopped by, 430 00:18:49,299 --> 00:18:51,167 But now is not really a great time. 431 00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:52,802 Um, maybe you can come back a little later? 432 00:18:52,836 --> 00:18:55,237 No. Joel, you know what? I've already let too much slide. 433 00:18:55,272 --> 00:18:57,206 As your faculty adviser, it's time for me 434 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,442 To take an active role in guiding this fraternity. 435 00:18:59,476 --> 00:19:00,643 Joel, get back here! 436 00:19:00,677 --> 00:19:02,345 I'm not touching this guy's schlong! 437 00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:04,347 And that will start tomorrow. 438 00:19:18,395 --> 00:19:20,363 Well, that was a close one. Geez. 439 00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:21,897 Joel! Joel! 440 00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:23,566 Eli?! 441 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,167 Little help? 442 00:19:25,202 --> 00:19:26,235 What happened? 443 00:19:29,473 --> 00:19:31,273 What were you trying to say? 444 00:19:31,308 --> 00:19:32,708 I said, "take the gag off." 445 00:19:34,745 --> 00:19:38,848 Joel, we got to lock this place up so he can't get out. 446 00:19:38,882 --> 00:19:40,716 How does a Leprechaun just disappear? 447 00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:59,301 I got it, guys. 448 00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:04,240 Hey, get in. Get in! 449 00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:05,574 What's going on? 450 00:20:05,609 --> 00:20:07,576 The Leprechaun got loose. What?! How?! 451 00:20:07,611 --> 00:20:09,311 Don't worry. It's under control, all right? 452 00:20:09,346 --> 00:20:11,414 We sealed the exits as soon as we discovered he was gone, 453 00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:12,882 So he's still somewhere in the house. 454 00:20:12,916 --> 00:20:14,650 Well, good, because if he makes it to the game, 455 00:20:14,685 --> 00:20:16,585 This whole thing will have been for nothing. 456 00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,255 Not true. We could still get indicted on federal kidnapping charges. 457 00:20:22,926 --> 00:20:24,527 That's him. Well, get him. 458 00:20:24,561 --> 00:20:26,362 He can't get out. He's locked in. 459 00:20:26,396 --> 00:20:28,497 Sounded like that came from upstairs. 460 00:20:28,532 --> 00:20:30,533 I thought it came from downstairs. 461 00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:32,468 All right. 462 00:20:32,502 --> 00:20:34,937 We're gonna split up into teams. 463 00:20:34,971 --> 00:20:37,239 Search every inch of this house. 464 00:20:37,274 --> 00:20:39,575 We got 17 hours before the game tomorrow. 465 00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:41,777 We'll search all night if we have to. 466 00:20:41,812 --> 00:20:44,246 Joel? Yeah. 467 00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:46,048 I got he-man. 468 00:20:49,653 --> 00:20:52,488 How is it possible we haven't found this guy yet? 469 00:20:52,522 --> 00:20:54,623 Well, it's not that surprising, really. 470 00:20:54,658 --> 00:20:56,392 According to lore, Leprechauns are the progeny 471 00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:59,395 Of an evil spirit... 472 00:20:59,429 --> 00:21:02,732 And a degenerate fairy. 473 00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:07,536 So, by their very nature... 474 00:21:07,571 --> 00:21:09,839 They're devious tricksters. 475 00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:14,009 Yeah, well, that'd be really helpful, man... 476 00:21:14,044 --> 00:21:17,613 If Leprechauns actually existed. 477 00:21:20,484 --> 00:21:22,485 Maybe that's what they want you to think. 478 00:21:29,826 --> 00:21:30,960 Let's get out of here. 479 00:21:30,994 --> 00:21:32,762 Yeah, you first. 480 00:21:33,797 --> 00:21:35,264 Uh... 481 00:21:46,643 --> 00:21:49,645 Hey, what up, little bro? 482 00:21:49,679 --> 00:21:54,350 Um...Top of the morning and stuff. 483 00:21:54,384 --> 00:21:57,920 looks like somebody's been hitting the clover. 484 00:21:57,954 --> 00:21:59,622 Yeah, dude. 485 00:21:59,656 --> 00:22:03,592 Uh...I knew that this was gonna happen one day. 486 00:22:03,627 --> 00:22:05,628 Uh-oh. 487 00:22:05,662 --> 00:22:07,963 Hey, you're a Leprechaun, dude. 488 00:22:07,998 --> 00:22:09,865 You know what? Does that mean 489 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,301 That you can grant me three wishes or whatever? 490 00:22:12,335 --> 00:22:14,870 Aye. But make it quick, lad. 491 00:22:14,905 --> 00:22:16,972 Oh, I wish I knew what to wish for. 492 00:22:17,007 --> 00:22:18,541 That's one. 493 00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:20,743 I wish I didn't make that wish. That's two. 494 00:22:20,777 --> 00:22:23,813 I wish that this wasn't so hard for me. 495 00:22:23,847 --> 00:22:25,047 That's three! 496 00:22:26,883 --> 00:22:29,451 Oh, dang. 497 00:22:29,486 --> 00:22:31,520 Hey, you know what? 498 00:22:31,555 --> 00:22:34,423 That was very nice of you to do that -- give me three wishes. 499 00:22:34,457 --> 00:22:35,891 Thank you. Mm-hmm. 500 00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:38,961 It feels only fair if I were to reciprocate, right? 501 00:22:38,995 --> 00:22:40,663 Sure. Oh. 502 00:22:40,697 --> 00:22:43,399 You know what? 503 00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:46,268 I do not have a pot of gold. Ugh! 504 00:22:46,303 --> 00:22:48,771 Whoa. Whoa. 505 00:22:48,805 --> 00:22:51,473 I do have pot. 506 00:22:54,678 --> 00:22:57,012 Let me get it. 507 00:22:57,047 --> 00:22:59,582 No, just don't -- don't make those noises. 508 00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:00,850 Chill out, okay? 509 00:23:00,884 --> 00:23:02,685 Don't -- don't be mad, Leprechaun. 510 00:23:02,719 --> 00:23:04,987 Relax. 511 00:23:05,021 --> 00:23:08,324 Here. 512 00:23:08,358 --> 00:23:09,592 Okay. Nice. 513 00:23:09,626 --> 00:23:11,493 Thank you. No problem. 514 00:23:11,528 --> 00:23:14,964 Pink hearts! Orange stars! Yellow moons! And green clovers! 515 00:23:14,998 --> 00:23:16,999 Ugh! Hey, you forgot the blue diamonds, bro. 516 00:23:17,033 --> 00:23:19,268 No, I didn't! 517 00:23:19,302 --> 00:23:20,936 Unh! Unh! 518 00:23:20,971 --> 00:23:22,571 Ah! 519 00:23:32,415 --> 00:23:33,849 Stankowski! 520 00:23:35,385 --> 00:23:36,986 That little dude stole my weed. 521 00:23:39,022 --> 00:23:41,724 Are you hurt? Only my feelings, bro. 522 00:23:41,758 --> 00:23:43,893 And me lucky charms. 523 00:23:50,232 --> 00:23:51,966 Should we have weapons? 524 00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,934 I feel like we should have weapons. 525 00:23:53,969 --> 00:23:55,269 Shh. 526 00:24:03,178 --> 00:24:06,113 Stay behind me, songbird. 527 00:24:06,147 --> 00:24:08,282 Okay, okay. 528 00:24:20,362 --> 00:24:21,962 Aah! 529 00:24:29,871 --> 00:24:31,171 Aah! 530 00:24:31,206 --> 00:24:32,640 Open it, open it! 531 00:24:36,711 --> 00:24:39,213 Oh, my god! Damon! Somebody! 532 00:24:41,816 --> 00:24:43,984 You didn't see any sign of him? 533 00:24:44,019 --> 00:24:45,986 If the Leprechaun wants to hide here, 534 00:24:46,021 --> 00:24:48,289 Smoke Stankovski's weed, fine. 535 00:24:48,323 --> 00:24:50,157 The doors are locked. The windows are bolted. 536 00:24:50,191 --> 00:24:51,892 He's trapped. We won. 537 00:24:51,927 --> 00:24:55,396 I say we just sit back, relax, and enjoy the game, huh? 538 00:25:04,873 --> 00:25:10,144 Ahh. If it isn't the boys who gave away the statue. 539 00:25:10,178 --> 00:25:11,879 Please, come in. 540 00:25:11,913 --> 00:25:14,014 I got a report of some women screaming 541 00:25:14,049 --> 00:25:15,883 From inside this house. 542 00:25:17,953 --> 00:25:20,721 Yeah, uh, sorry, officer. We'll keep it down. 543 00:25:20,755 --> 00:25:23,057 Right, ladies? 544 00:25:24,459 --> 00:25:27,061 Smells like a guatemalan drug hut in here. 545 00:25:27,095 --> 00:25:28,429 That's just incense. 546 00:25:28,463 --> 00:25:30,898 Yeah, some weed incense. Grab some wall, boys. 547 00:25:30,932 --> 00:25:32,733 We're gonna take a little trip downtown. 548 00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:34,401 O-officer, no. I-I promise you, I can -- 549 00:25:34,436 --> 00:25:36,370 Come on, grab the wall. No, you don't understand. 550 00:25:36,404 --> 00:25:40,107 There is a police car out front. What the hell is going on? 551 00:25:40,141 --> 00:25:43,043 You. 552 00:25:43,078 --> 00:25:46,981 Aloysius Haines. 553 00:25:47,015 --> 00:25:51,218 Again we meet under dubious circumstances. 554 00:25:51,252 --> 00:25:53,153 Your boys here have been partaking 555 00:25:53,188 --> 00:25:55,489 In some illegal botanicals. 556 00:25:55,523 --> 00:25:57,091 No, sir, we haven't. 557 00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:59,093 Well, I'm sure there's a logical explanation. 558 00:25:59,127 --> 00:26:00,494 There absolutely is, gentlemen. 559 00:26:00,528 --> 00:26:02,763 I can assure you that we have not been partaking 560 00:26:02,797 --> 00:26:03,897 In anything illegal. 561 00:26:03,932 --> 00:26:05,366 It is the... 562 00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,267 Uh... 563 00:26:07,302 --> 00:26:10,971 Leprechaun hiding in our house. 564 00:26:13,174 --> 00:26:15,809 You see? Logical explanation. 565 00:26:15,844 --> 00:26:18,512 Gentlemen, you have the right to remain silent. 566 00:26:18,546 --> 00:26:20,147 Anything you say 567 00:26:20,181 --> 00:26:22,983 Can and will be used against you in a court of law. 568 00:26:23,018 --> 00:26:25,786 what the hell was that? 569 00:26:25,820 --> 00:26:27,021 The Leprechaun. 570 00:26:27,055 --> 00:26:28,856 It's -- it's the Holy Dome mascot. 571 00:26:28,890 --> 00:26:30,891 We kidnapped him in retaliation 572 00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:32,860 For them stealing our statue. 573 00:26:32,894 --> 00:26:35,162 Did you just confess to an abduction? 574 00:26:35,196 --> 00:26:37,064 No. No. No. No. 575 00:26:37,098 --> 00:26:38,966 No, no. 576 00:26:40,535 --> 00:26:42,202 Great job, boys! 577 00:26:42,237 --> 00:26:43,871 I hate that damn Leprechaun. 578 00:26:43,905 --> 00:26:45,139 Really? 579 00:26:46,541 --> 00:26:49,209 Finally, we got something in common, huh? 580 00:26:49,244 --> 00:26:51,512 We got him, man. 581 00:26:51,546 --> 00:26:53,547 We're just planning on watching the game and waiting him out. 582 00:26:53,581 --> 00:26:55,182 You're welcomeme to watch with us. 583 00:26:55,216 --> 00:26:57,084 Can I offer you some refreshments, officer? 584 00:26:57,118 --> 00:26:59,286 Sure. I can hang for a few. 585 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,587 Awesome! Officer Buck. 586 00:27:00,622 --> 00:27:02,222 Wait a minute. 587 00:27:02,257 --> 00:27:05,526 If you guys kidnapped the Holy Dome mascot... 588 00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,162 Then who is this? 589 00:27:08,196 --> 00:27:11,165 If that's the Holy Dome Leprechaun... 590 00:27:13,034 --> 00:27:15,536 ...Who the hell is in our house? 591 00:27:17,205 --> 00:27:19,873 You're messing with the wrong Leprechaun. 592 00:27:28,383 --> 00:27:29,850 Who -- who is this guy? 593 00:27:29,884 --> 00:27:31,452 If he's not the Holy Dome mascot, 594 00:27:31,486 --> 00:27:33,153 Why is he still here? 595 00:27:33,188 --> 00:27:34,888 What does he want? 596 00:27:34,923 --> 00:27:36,123 Revenge. 597 00:27:36,157 --> 00:27:38,392 Don't you see what he's doing? 598 00:27:38,426 --> 00:27:40,027 Guys, he's toying with us. 599 00:27:40,061 --> 00:27:41,361 And when he's had his fun, 600 00:27:41,396 --> 00:27:43,030 He's gonna pick us off, one by one -- 601 00:27:43,064 --> 00:27:44,965 Eli. Eli, you're sleep-deprived, okay? 602 00:27:44,999 --> 00:27:47,301 You've been up for 36 hours. 603 00:27:47,335 --> 00:27:49,069 Well, so has he. Why isnhe tired? 604 00:27:49,104 --> 00:27:50,437 Yeah. 605 00:27:50,472 --> 00:27:52,473 There's only so much marijuana and alcohol 606 00:27:52,507 --> 00:27:54,274 The human body can tolerate. 607 00:27:54,309 --> 00:27:56,443 That's 'cause he's not human. 608 00:27:56,478 --> 00:27:58,979 He's a real Leprechaun. 609 00:27:59,013 --> 00:28:02,049 We walked that perimeter three times. 610 00:28:02,083 --> 00:28:03,951 Yeah, we got to know each other pretty well. 611 00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:05,986 One thing we can agree on is that, uh, 612 00:28:06,020 --> 00:28:07,988 We really don't like each other that much. 613 00:28:08,022 --> 00:28:09,356 Nope. 614 00:28:09,390 --> 00:28:11,225 Did you guys happen to notice a short guy, 615 00:28:11,259 --> 00:28:14,495 Wears lots of green, works the balls like sugar ray? 616 00:28:14,529 --> 00:28:17,664 No, nothing. He's burrowed in pretty deep. 617 00:28:17,699 --> 00:28:19,566 But I'm up for the challenge. 618 00:28:19,601 --> 00:28:22,302 I hope he resists arrest. 619 00:28:22,337 --> 00:28:26,140 Right. Let's go check the basement. 620 00:28:29,577 --> 00:28:31,445 Man, we got to disconnect that thing. 621 00:28:31,479 --> 00:28:34,481 I got it, guys. I got it. 622 00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:39,920 Hey, Christie. Hey! 623 00:28:39,954 --> 00:28:42,389 Hey, what are you doing here? 624 00:28:42,423 --> 00:28:44,224 Oh, just a follow-up. 625 00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:46,226 Damon said you guys were trying to get the statue back, 626 00:28:46,261 --> 00:28:47,961 And after the last story, 627 00:28:47,996 --> 00:28:49,997 I wanted to write something positive about the Omega Sigs. 628 00:28:50,031 --> 00:28:51,465 So, any new developments? 629 00:28:55,503 --> 00:28:58,472 No. No, not really. 630 00:28:58,506 --> 00:29:00,140 Nothing? 631 00:29:00,175 --> 00:29:02,276 Guys, what's going on? 632 00:29:04,345 --> 00:29:05,679 He cut the power. 633 00:29:05,713 --> 00:29:06,980 Who cut the power? 634 00:29:07,015 --> 00:29:07,981 The Leprechaun. 635 00:29:08,016 --> 00:29:10,217 What Leprechaun? 636 00:29:10,251 --> 00:29:13,520 Okay, this is strictly off the record, 637 00:29:13,555 --> 00:29:15,989 But we thought we kidnapped the Holy Dome mascot, 638 00:29:16,024 --> 00:29:17,958 But we grabbed the wrong Leprechaun. 639 00:29:17,992 --> 00:29:20,994 And now he's in here... Somewhere. 640 00:29:21,029 --> 00:29:22,095 Right. 641 00:29:22,130 --> 00:29:23,197 Seriously. 642 00:29:24,632 --> 00:29:27,367 Damon... Did you just grab my butt? 643 00:29:27,402 --> 00:29:31,038 No, I thought you grabbed mine. 644 00:29:35,543 --> 00:29:37,244 Ow! He bit me! 645 00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,447 Just pick on someone your own size, 646 00:29:40,481 --> 00:29:42,049 You little celtic demon! 647 00:29:42,083 --> 00:29:43,717 Don't say that! He's my size! 648 00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:45,118 Still moving! 649 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,366 Okay, the Leprechaun bit me. I need a rabies shot... now! 650 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,335 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Someone's coming. 651 00:29:55,370 --> 00:29:57,604 oh, my god! 652 00:29:59,374 --> 00:30:02,676 Son of a bitch got my handcuffs... 653 00:30:02,710 --> 00:30:04,178 Took my keys. 654 00:30:04,212 --> 00:30:05,646 And our dignity. 655 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,347 Okay, but seriously, 656 00:30:07,382 --> 00:30:09,416 You're not gonna put this part in your story, are you? 657 00:30:09,450 --> 00:30:11,518 I would if I thought anyone would believe me. 658 00:30:11,553 --> 00:30:14,388 Guys, we are dealing with a superior criminal mind here. 659 00:30:14,422 --> 00:30:17,524 As much as I hate to say it, I agree. 660 00:30:17,559 --> 00:30:19,459 We need a new plan of attack. 661 00:30:19,494 --> 00:30:22,162 Aloysius, follow me. 662 00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:24,198 Like I have a choice? 663 00:30:24,232 --> 00:30:25,732 Make way, boys. 664 00:30:27,302 --> 00:30:30,270 Okay. We need to get the power back on now. 665 00:30:30,305 --> 00:30:32,139 Somebody's got to go down into the e basement 666 00:30:32,173 --> 00:30:35,309 And flip the circuit breaker. 667 00:30:35,343 --> 00:30:37,411 No way! No! 668 00:30:37,445 --> 00:30:40,681 Uh, I don't want to be a legend! I want to live through this! 669 00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,553 I'll go. 670 00:30:46,588 --> 00:30:48,255 Joel, I would go with you, 671 00:30:48,289 --> 00:30:50,524 But, as pledge class vice president, 672 00:30:50,558 --> 00:30:52,593 I'm only one heartbeat away from the presidency, 673 00:30:52,627 --> 00:30:54,695 So we can't risk it. 674 00:30:56,564 --> 00:31:00,100 Wait. You're not going alone. 675 00:31:00,134 --> 00:31:01,869 I'm going in with you. 676 00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:06,840 Be careful! 677 00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:09,810 I will. I will. 678 00:31:28,696 --> 00:31:30,497 Barbara! 679 00:31:41,242 --> 00:31:43,744 So, if he's not the Holy Dome mascot, 680 00:31:43,778 --> 00:31:45,545 He could be anybody? 681 00:31:45,580 --> 00:31:47,581 I mean, he could be an escaped mental patient 682 00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:49,683 Who likes to dress up as a Leprechaun? 683 00:31:49,717 --> 00:31:52,686 Do we really have to go to the absolute worst-case scenario? 684 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,389 Why can't he just be some really rabid Holy Dome fan? 685 00:31:55,423 --> 00:31:57,557 Well, the biggest mental-health facility in the state 686 00:31:57,592 --> 00:31:59,259 Is 10 miles from here. 687 00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:02,296 I really hate that you know these kind of things. 688 00:32:02,330 --> 00:32:03,730 Shh! Shh! 689 00:32:03,765 --> 00:32:05,899 I hear footsteps. 690 00:32:05,934 --> 00:32:07,734 Size 4 or 5. 691 00:32:07,769 --> 00:32:10,804 Oh, I see him! I see him. 692 00:32:10,838 --> 00:32:13,307 I see him. There he is! 693 00:32:13,341 --> 00:32:14,474 Aaaah! 694 00:32:15,276 --> 00:32:17,277 Aaaah! 695 00:32:17,312 --> 00:32:20,013 Where's the fuse box? 696 00:32:20,048 --> 00:32:21,748 Right there, on the back wall. 697 00:32:21,783 --> 00:32:23,383 Right there? Yeah. 698 00:32:23,418 --> 00:32:26,453 Okay. 699 00:32:26,487 --> 00:32:28,689 All right. 700 00:32:32,026 --> 00:32:34,461 okay, great. 701 00:32:34,495 --> 00:32:36,797 Hold still! Hold...Still! 702 00:32:36,831 --> 00:32:38,799 What are you doing? Get off of me! 703 00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,367 Ugh! 704 00:32:42,837 --> 00:32:44,271 Do I look irish?! 705 00:32:44,305 --> 00:32:45,939 The three big ones. 706 00:32:45,974 --> 00:32:47,407 Here? Yeah. 707 00:32:47,442 --> 00:32:50,310 Okay. 708 00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:52,646 Come on, let's get out of here. Let's go. 709 00:32:54,682 --> 00:32:56,516 Oh! 710 00:33:00,922 --> 00:33:03,023 And then, after the Leprechaun attacked us, I tr-- 711 00:33:03,057 --> 00:33:04,624 I think "sneak attacked" 712 00:33:04,659 --> 00:33:06,793 More accurately describes the encounter. 713 00:33:06,828 --> 00:33:08,462 Well, I tried to chase after him, 714 00:33:08,496 --> 00:33:10,063 But he -- he escaped into the air duct. 715 00:33:12,667 --> 00:33:15,569 Ohhh. 716 00:33:15,603 --> 00:33:21,008 That's how the rascally bastard has avoided capture, huh? 717 00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:22,909 Till now. 718 00:33:22,944 --> 00:33:24,544 It's up to you, Hector. 719 00:33:24,579 --> 00:33:26,847 You ready to hunt some Leprechaun?! 720 00:33:26,881 --> 00:33:28,515 Huh? I'm feeling lucky! 721 00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:29,649 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 722 00:33:29,684 --> 00:33:30,851 Come on, Hector! 723 00:33:30,885 --> 00:33:31,952 Get him, man! Get him! 724 00:33:31,986 --> 00:33:33,820 It's fine. He's tenacious. 725 00:33:33,855 --> 00:33:35,722 Get him, Hector! This does not feel like a good idea. 726 00:33:35,757 --> 00:33:37,424 It's fine. He's a warrior. It's too dangerous. 727 00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:38,992 No, no. Come on, Hector, get him! 728 00:33:39,027 --> 00:33:41,028 You got him, you got him. 729 00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:43,463 You see anything in there? 730 00:33:43,498 --> 00:33:45,699 Nothing. He must have had -- 731 00:33:45,733 --> 00:33:48,035 Take that! That all you got? 732 00:33:49,404 --> 00:33:50,604 Missed me. 733 00:33:55,343 --> 00:33:59,279 What happened? 734 00:34:05,653 --> 00:34:06,553 Oh. 735 00:34:07,822 --> 00:34:09,356 Hector? 736 00:34:09,390 --> 00:34:11,758 I will avenge you, my poquito amigo. 737 00:34:13,661 --> 00:34:17,064 I know how to catch him. 738 00:34:22,537 --> 00:34:25,038 we can fill the place up with water 739 00:34:25,073 --> 00:34:27,507 And then turn the heat up real good 740 00:34:27,542 --> 00:34:29,443 So the water evaporates. 741 00:34:29,477 --> 00:34:32,446 That's how a cloud is formed, you know? 742 00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,415 Then, when the cloud gets angry 743 00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:37,417 And starts to rain, 744 00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:39,820 We can let some sunlight in, 745 00:34:39,854 --> 00:34:43,557 And then that's how a rainbow is formed. 746 00:34:43,591 --> 00:34:48,495 At the end of that rainbow will be our Leprechaun. 747 00:34:48,529 --> 00:34:51,364 Well, technically, it's the pot of gold 748 00:34:51,399 --> 00:34:52,766 You'd find at the end of the rainbow. 749 00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,968 Details. 750 00:34:55,002 --> 00:34:57,671 Oh. Oh, no. No, no. Wait. 751 00:34:57,705 --> 00:34:59,539 That gives me an idea. 752 00:34:59,574 --> 00:35:02,943 The Leprechaun smoked all of Stankovski's marijuana, right? 753 00:35:04,779 --> 00:35:06,813 Well... 754 00:35:06,848 --> 00:35:09,716 He's got to be developing a serious case of the crunchies. 755 00:35:09,750 --> 00:35:14,054 Oh, it's actually "munchies," but "crunchies" is awesome. 756 00:35:14,088 --> 00:35:16,823 I'm gonna start using that from now on. 757 00:35:16,858 --> 00:35:17,991 Okay. Yeah. Yeah. 758 00:35:18,025 --> 00:35:20,627 Right? Yes, yes. 759 00:35:44,051 --> 00:35:45,552 Get him! 760 00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:48,421 Go! Go! 761 00:35:58,132 --> 00:36:02,068 Oh, yeah! Whose pipes are calling now, Danny boy? 762 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,808 ♪ oh, Danny boy ♪ 763 00:36:08,843 --> 00:36:14,548 ♪ the pipes, the pipes are calling ♪ 764 00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:23,000 Listen, Seamus, let me give you one more chance to tell me who the hell you are! 765 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,983 Or what? You'll let me dance another jig on your face again? 766 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,320 We're not getting anywhere. 767 00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,988 Give me five minutes and a curling iron. 768 00:36:32,022 --> 00:36:33,122 Not now, Hector. 769 00:36:33,157 --> 00:36:34,791 It's time for Stankovski. 770 00:36:36,493 --> 00:36:37,527 Yeah. 771 00:36:41,632 --> 00:36:44,734 A little Navajo truth root will loosen his tongue. 772 00:36:44,768 --> 00:36:46,336 Pfft! 773 00:36:46,370 --> 00:36:48,204 "Navajo truth root"? 774 00:36:48,238 --> 00:36:50,707 Yeah, it's medicinal, all natural, 775 00:36:50,741 --> 00:36:52,642 And perfectly legal... 776 00:36:52,676 --> 00:36:54,344 In most states. 777 00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:56,079 Except Indiana. 778 00:36:56,113 --> 00:36:58,014 You're not gonna get anything out of me. 779 00:36:58,048 --> 00:36:59,749 No, you're not. Nothing, you hear me? 780 00:37:27,378 --> 00:37:29,579 I'm a decoy. 781 00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:33,583 Every year, Holy Dome pays me about 150 bucks 782 00:37:33,617 --> 00:37:35,485 To, uh, dress up like their mascot. 783 00:37:35,519 --> 00:37:38,521 How come, all of a sudden, he's got that weird accent, huh? 784 00:37:38,555 --> 00:37:40,690 I get it -- so we spend all week looking for you 785 00:37:40,724 --> 00:37:42,458 And not the real mascot. 786 00:37:42,493 --> 00:37:45,628 I told you you were messing with the wrong Leprechaun. 787 00:37:45,662 --> 00:37:47,597 Okay, well, you're still gonna tell me where the statue is. 788 00:37:47,631 --> 00:37:49,732 Yeah. 789 00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,402 Fine. Shirewood hotel. 790 00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,137 Room 237. 791 00:37:56,740 --> 00:38:00,109 Guys, thanks, but we got it. 792 00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:01,844 Damn! 793 00:38:01,879 --> 00:38:05,081 You mean to tell me I signed all this out the armory for nothing? 794 00:38:05,115 --> 00:38:07,216 Hey, we don't have to take this back right away, do we? 795 00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:09,318 This is my first shield. I'm really kind of digging this. 796 00:38:09,353 --> 00:38:11,754 So, uh, am I free to go, or what? 797 00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:13,189 Yeah. Get out of here. 798 00:38:24,601 --> 00:38:26,736 Watch it. 799 00:38:31,742 --> 00:38:34,143 till next year, you jackholes. 800 00:38:51,595 --> 00:38:52,728 Hey, guys. 801 00:38:52,763 --> 00:38:54,130 Hey. 802 00:38:54,164 --> 00:38:56,532 This is great. Thanks. 803 00:38:56,567 --> 00:38:58,868 I know you weren't exactly thrilled with the last one. 804 00:38:58,902 --> 00:39:00,703 Oh, come on. 805 00:39:00,737 --> 00:39:02,839 You know I support you, no matter what. 806 00:39:05,275 --> 00:39:07,243 Wow, this is so cool. Look, look. 807 00:39:07,277 --> 00:39:10,513 I'm referred to as "pledge class vice president Jason wilson." 808 00:39:10,547 --> 00:39:12,215 Amazing. 809 00:39:12,249 --> 00:39:13,916 Look, Jason, that was a really great idea -- 810 00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:16,252 Luring the Leprechaun out with junk food. 811 00:39:16,286 --> 00:39:19,322 And I know how bad you want to be president. 812 00:39:19,356 --> 00:39:21,924 Why don't I resign... And you take over? 813 00:39:21,959 --> 00:39:23,860 That's why you're president. 814 00:39:23,894 --> 00:39:25,928 You put the office ahead of yourself. 815 00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:28,431 I don't think I'm ready to do that. 816 00:39:28,465 --> 00:39:30,500 You can drive me to get my shot, right? 817 00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:33,236 Leprechauns do not have rabies. 818 00:39:33,270 --> 00:39:35,471 That's never been proven. 819 00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:37,974 Might want to get a tetanus shot, though. 820 00:39:38,008 --> 00:39:40,576 Why would you put that in his head? 821 00:39:45,415 --> 00:39:47,750 Now, let's move the alumni brunch to Sunday. 822 00:39:47,784 --> 00:39:50,453 I think that'll work out with all the meetings. 823 00:39:50,487 --> 00:39:51,721 Whoa. 824 00:39:51,755 --> 00:39:54,624 Isn't that the Holy Dome mascot? 825 00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:57,860 He's got a lot of nerve, sleeping it off on our campus. 826 00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:00,663 Let's take him back to the zeta rho house. 827 00:40:00,697 --> 00:40:02,298 We'll be heroes when people find out 828 00:40:02,332 --> 00:40:03,499 We kidnapped the Leprechaun. 829 00:40:18,282 --> 00:40:21,250 What do you mean, he got loose?! 830 00:40:21,285 --> 00:40:22,852 He cut the power! 831 00:40:22,886 --> 00:40:25,454 Ow! He bites!