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00:00:01,400 --> 00:00:04,200
Pledges of Omega Sig...
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,400
Welcome to Rivalry Week!
3
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Isn't the cop who pull us over
when we got the fake I.D.s?
4
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:11,360
Yeah, I think it is.
5
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,567
Don't worry.
He won't remember us.
6
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Mr. Murphowitzbergstein!
7
00:00:13,969 --> 00:00:16,304
Pleasure to see you again,
brother.
8
00:00:16,338 --> 00:00:17,906
Pleasure to see you.
All right.
9
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:19,641
I can't believe
he remembers my fake name.
10
00:00:19,675 --> 00:00:20,975
I didn't even know
your fake name.
11
00:00:21,010 --> 00:00:22,977
All right, enough chatter,
Portersmith.
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I am officer Alvin P. Buck.
13
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Anyone here
know what happened
14
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When Hayes
and Holy Dome University
15
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Played their first game
in 1935?
16
00:00:36,926 --> 00:00:38,860
FDR created
social security,
17
00:00:38,894 --> 00:00:40,929
Beginning America's long,
slow March to the left.
18
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Button it, Buttonshaw.
19
00:00:42,565 --> 00:00:46,234
I am talking football,
gentlemen.
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00:00:46,268 --> 00:00:48,770
1935,
Hayes versus Holy Dome --
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7 touchdowns, 12 turnovers,
4 trick plays.
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00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,342
Moynihan, you read
your sports almanac.
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00:00:54,376 --> 00:00:56,544
But what you won't find in there
is that after the game,
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The Hayes quarterback --
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He took home the girlfriend
of the Holy Dome star player.
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Look at that. Look at that. There it is.
27
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Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
yeah. [ laughing ] yeah.
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Yeah, he made sweet love
to her unholy domes
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For three straight days.
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Whoo!
All right!
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Then, the following year,
in retaliation,
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The holy domers burned
the outline of a Leprechaun
33
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Onto the Hayes
football field
34
00:01:22,905 --> 00:01:24,439
[ all booing ]
35
00:01:24,473 --> 00:01:25,774
What?!
36
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Two years later,
that Holy Dome was tarnished
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By the freshly painted logo
of Hayes University.
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Yeah!
Amen!
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[ all cheering ]
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That's right!
All right.
41
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Whew! God, what I would've given
to have been alive that day.
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[ all cheering ]
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Now, I bet a lot of y'all
are wondering why I,
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Officer Alvin P. Buck,
take this rivalry so personally.
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Why you take it
so personally?
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You are wondering,
aren't you, boys?
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All right!
Now, let me tell you.
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You are looking
at a proud graduate
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Of Hayes University,
class of 1971,
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And proud soldier
sworn to defend it
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Against all those
who would defile it.
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Sync and corrected by
www.addic7ed.com
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Glory Daze - Season 1, Episode 8
"Shamrock You Like a Hurricane"
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Gentlemen, I give you
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The statue
of Arthur Wesley Hayes...
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Our founder.
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During rivalry week,
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It is the duty
of all fraternity pledges
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To protect the Hayes statue
from desecration.
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This gentleman
will be standing in
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For the Hayes statue...
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Given that he is
of t approximate gi-I-I-rth
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And gravita-a-a-s
of our noble founder.
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Why, thank you.
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Not enough people
mention my gravitas.
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Lock 'em up!
Lock 'em up!
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Lock it!
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Focus, boys.
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Hold that line!
70
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We're holding!
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[ all shouting ]
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Oh, come on, man! Can't
not gonna get me wet?!
73
00:03:06,809 --> 00:03:09,777
Aw. You got a problem
with wet.
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00:03:09,812 --> 00:03:12,981
Hold that line!
Hold that line!
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00:03:13,015 --> 00:03:16,084
If you can't guard a man,
how can you guard a statue?
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If a ball gets through,
I don't want to be you!
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Take that! Oh!
Hold the line, boys!
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Focus!
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[ all grunting ]
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15 miles per hour of pure hell
coming at you, boys.
81
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Hold that line!
All: We're holding!
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00:03:29,531 --> 00:03:30,865
Hold it!
We're holding!
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[ tires screech ]
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[ all screaming ]
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[ tires screech ]
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[ all panting ]
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Congratulations,
Omega Sig pledges.
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You are now ready
to serve and protect.
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The Hayes statue
is in good hands.
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[ chanting ]
Hayes U! Hayes U!
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00:03:57,126 --> 00:03:59,394
All: [ chanting ]
Hayes U! Hayes U! Hayes U!
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00:03:59,428 --> 00:04:01,462
Hayes U! Hayes U! Hayes U!
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00:04:01,553 --> 00:04:03,464
Hayes U! Hayes U! Hayes U!
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[ bird caws ]
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00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:09,137
Hey, better him than me.
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Oh!
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00:04:10,806 --> 00:04:13,441
You have no idea what
an important job this is, guys.
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00:04:13,475 --> 00:04:15,476
Some of the best times
of my freshman year
99
00:04:15,511 --> 00:04:18,146
Were on that line,
defending that statue.
100
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:19,847
Hector single-handedly
fought off
101
00:04:19,882 --> 00:04:21,416
A Holy Dome
blowtorch attack.
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00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,984
Yes, I did.
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00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:24,852
Your pledge class president
will be in charge
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Of organizing you
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And arranging shifts
with the other pledge classes.
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00:04:28,457 --> 00:04:30,925
Uh...Damon, we don't --
107
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:33,061
We don't have
a pledge class president.
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00:04:35,597 --> 00:04:36,864
What do you do
with these guys?
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00:04:36,899 --> 00:04:39,000
Man! Knew I
forgot something!
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I got mid-terms,
my mama's birthday coming up.
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I got this --
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I got
this unexplained rash
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That's causing all types
of consternation...
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I would be honored to serve
as pledge class pr--
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00:04:49,645 --> 00:04:52,447
Uh, Harrington...
Consider yourself elected.
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00:04:52,481 --> 00:04:54,215
Guys, meet your new
class president.
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[ applause ]
118
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Really?
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I'd follow your lead
any day, man.
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Thanks.
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00:05:03,192 --> 00:05:05,960
Ex-- excuse me, sir.
Uh, one second.
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Um...
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00:05:07,529 --> 00:05:09,664
Not that Joel isn't
a fantastic choice --
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You are. He is --
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00:05:12,034 --> 00:05:14,802
But, as somebody with his own
political aspirations,
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I have to ask --
why not me?
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I don't know.
I-I just -- I don't know.
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Joel seems like
the kind of person
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That'll take a taser to the
nut sack to save his buddies.
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Uh, Turbo,
Joel did literally
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Take a taser to the nut sack
to save his buddies.
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He did?
You saw it happen.
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00:05:29,251 --> 00:05:30,985
I knew I had a good feeling
about you, Joel.
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What about you,
songbird?
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Your jewels ever ride a
lightning stick for this house?
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Can't say that I have.
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It okay, man.
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00:05:39,962 --> 00:05:42,597
We can't all have
lucky nut bags.
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00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:46,734
Mr. Pledge class
president?
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00:05:46,769 --> 00:05:48,202
Yeah?
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00:05:48,237 --> 00:05:50,605
Can I talk to you for a sec? Yeah.
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00:05:50,639 --> 00:05:52,974
Attaboy, Joel.
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00:05:53,008 --> 00:05:56,044
You know, um...
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00:05:56,078 --> 00:05:58,613
You and I have gotten to know
each other these last few weeks,
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And you've really
shown me something.
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00:06:00,182 --> 00:06:02,450
And that means
making tough decisions,
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00:06:02,484 --> 00:06:04,085
Unpopular decisions.
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00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:06,187
Like no hitting golf balls
off the roof. Exactly.
149
00:06:06,221 --> 00:06:08,990
But we do hit golf balls
off the roof.
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00:06:09,024 --> 00:06:11,759
That's 'cause I don't really
like saying no.
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00:06:11,794 --> 00:06:14,862
But I did say no to grain
alcohol at rush functions. Yes.
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00:06:14,897 --> 00:06:17,465
Leadership can be lonely,
Joel.
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00:06:17,499 --> 00:06:20,001
So, if you ever need
anyone to talk to,
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00:06:20,035 --> 00:06:22,003
Somebody that really understands
what you're going through,
155
00:06:22,037 --> 00:06:23,805
Just call Reno.
156
00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:26,074
O--
I'm kidding.
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00:06:26,108 --> 00:06:27,742
Call Turbo.
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00:06:27,776 --> 00:06:30,078
Kidding again.
Call me.
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00:06:30,112 --> 00:06:32,547
[ both chuckle ] uh, just
not that late. I get up early.
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00:06:32,581 --> 00:06:34,682
Okay.
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00:06:42,858 --> 00:06:45,526
Hi! Excuse me.
Are you registered to vote?
162
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Hey.
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00:06:47,196 --> 00:06:50,531
Hey, baby. I can't believe
how apathetic these people are.
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00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:52,500
They care more about
this stupid college rivalry
165
00:06:52,534 --> 00:06:54,035
Than the fate
of our nation.
166
00:06:54,069 --> 00:06:56,037
Some people just don't understand
the value of leadership.
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00:06:56,071 --> 00:06:57,538
Leadership of the senate,
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00:06:57,573 --> 00:06:59,507
Leadership
of the pledge class...
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00:06:59,541 --> 00:07:02,710
What are you
talking about?
170
00:07:02,744 --> 00:07:05,246
I just got passed over
for pledge class president.
171
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,014
Well, why didn't you tell me
you were running?
172
00:07:07,049 --> 00:07:08,716
You know what I can do
with a button-maker.
173
00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,918
I didn't tell you because
there was never an election.
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00:07:10,953 --> 00:07:14,222
No campaign, no debates,
no kissing babies.
175
00:07:14,256 --> 00:07:16,190
Everything that I've
trained for, denied me.
176
00:07:16,225 --> 00:07:18,693
Well, this is an outrage.
Who'd they pick?
177
00:07:18,727 --> 00:07:23,598
Joel -- a great guy
and a friend.
178
00:07:23,632 --> 00:07:25,967
And, yeah -- yeah, he's great
in a crisis situation.
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00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:28,102
He's Mr. Charismatic.
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00:07:28,137 --> 00:07:30,605
He understands the plight
of the common man.
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00:07:30,639 --> 00:07:32,306
But, seriously,
empathy and leadership
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00:07:32,341 --> 00:07:33,774
Do not
a president make.
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00:07:33,809 --> 00:07:34,876
No.
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00:07:34,910 --> 00:07:36,544
Me and my
unlucky nut bag.
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00:07:36,578 --> 00:07:40,214
Jason, what have I told you
about testicle humor?
186
00:07:40,249 --> 00:07:43,284
I -- I know. I'm sorry.
I'm just -- I'm frustrated.
187
00:07:43,318 --> 00:07:44,852
It's okay, you know?
188
00:07:44,887 --> 00:07:46,554
Once those guys
see what you're made of,
189
00:07:46,588 --> 00:07:47,688
You're gonna have
your day.
190
00:07:47,723 --> 00:07:49,023
And lots
of political leaders
191
00:07:49,057 --> 00:07:50,992
Suffered their setbacks
in their beginnings --
192
00:07:51,026 --> 00:07:52,927
Lincoln...Nixon.
193
00:07:52,961 --> 00:07:54,695
Oh, excuse me!
194
00:07:54,730 --> 00:07:56,764
Great, so I have impeachment
and assassination
195
00:07:56,798 --> 00:07:59,300
To look forward to.
196
00:08:01,970 --> 00:08:03,938
Look, Jason, I-I really hope
there's no hard feelings
197
00:08:03,972 --> 00:08:05,706
About this whole
presidency thing.
198
00:08:05,741 --> 00:08:07,141
Oh, no.
Not at all.
199
00:08:07,176 --> 00:08:08,943
Okay.
200
00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:11,579
But you are missing a vital part
of your presidency.
201
00:08:11,613 --> 00:08:14,048
Hmm?
A vice president.
202
00:08:14,082 --> 00:08:17,552
Vice president?
Is that even allowed?
203
00:08:17,586 --> 00:08:20,221
If the u.S. Constitution has
anything to say about it, it is.
204
00:08:20,255 --> 00:08:23,090
I mean, what if something
were to happen to you?
205
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:24,859
[ chuckling ]
what?
206
00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:26,260
Hi, guys.
207
00:08:26,295 --> 00:08:27,328
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
208
00:08:27,362 --> 00:08:28,796
Hey, Christie.
209
00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:30,097
Nice -- nice job.
210
00:08:30,132 --> 00:08:32,166
Arthur appears to be
in good hands.
211
00:08:32,201 --> 00:08:33,935
So, what are you doing
out here?
212
00:08:33,969 --> 00:08:35,770
My journalism class
is having each of us
213
00:08:35,804 --> 00:08:37,071
Write a story
for the paper.
214
00:08:37,105 --> 00:08:38,606
I was hoping
for something meaty,
215
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,007
You know,
like an exposé
216
00:08:40,042 --> 00:08:41,876
Of the University's involvement
in South Africa.
217
00:08:41,910 --> 00:08:44,278
Instead, I got you guys...
Guarding the statue.
218
00:08:44,313 --> 00:08:46,847
Jane Pauley, look out.
219
00:08:46,882 --> 00:08:48,649
I actually had my sights set
220
00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:51,586
On more of a Diane Sawyer
hosting "60 minutes."
221
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:52,920
So I've been interviewing
pledge classes,
222
00:08:52,955 --> 00:08:55,089
Getting quotes,
taking pictures.
223
00:08:55,123 --> 00:08:57,091
Ah, who am I kidding?
224
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:59,827
It's a total fluff piece to fill up
space next to the dairy queen coupon.
225
00:08:59,861 --> 00:09:01,896
All right, fellas,
you're off the hook.
226
00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:04,198
"off the hook"?
What do you mean?
227
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:07,301
Well, we're moving Arthur
to a safer locale.
228
00:09:07,336 --> 00:09:10,037
Oh, but Officer Buck told us
not to leave the statue, period.
229
00:09:10,072 --> 00:09:13,107
Yeah, well, I've got an authorization
form straight from the dean.
230
00:09:13,141 --> 00:09:15,576
That's his signature
right there.
231
00:09:15,611 --> 00:09:16,677
What's going on?
232
00:09:16,712 --> 00:09:18,646
Holy dome's
been making threats.
233
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,648
They're talking
aerial assault --
234
00:09:20,682 --> 00:09:23,217
Helicopters loaded with manure
ready to drop.
235
00:09:23,252 --> 00:09:24,752
It's not pretty.
236
00:09:24,786 --> 00:09:27,088
Those sick bastards.
237
00:09:27,122 --> 00:09:28,956
Tell me about it.
238
00:09:28,991 --> 00:09:31,325
That's why we're moving him to
a warehouse until after the game.
239
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:33,127
So,
if you wouldn't mind...
240
00:09:35,063 --> 00:09:37,832
Yeah, sure.
Go ahead, officer.
241
00:09:41,169 --> 00:09:43,604
I mean, the least we can do
is give you guys a hand.
242
00:09:43,639 --> 00:09:45,873
That'd be great. Thanks. Yeah, sure.
243
00:09:45,907 --> 00:09:47,308
Come on.
244
00:09:47,342 --> 00:09:49,844
Anything else?
245
00:09:49,878 --> 00:09:51,679
[ camera shutter clicks ]
246
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:53,981
[ drill whirring ]
247
00:09:54,016 --> 00:09:55,983
[ camera shutter clicks ]
248
00:09:58,987 --> 00:10:02,056
One last question --
when will the statue go back up?
249
00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:04,125
As soon as the game's over
on Saturday.
250
00:10:04,159 --> 00:10:05,960
[ engine turns over ]
thanks for your help.
251
00:10:05,994 --> 00:10:07,895
Hey, no problem.
252
00:10:07,929 --> 00:10:09,864
Bye, Arthur.
253
00:10:09,898 --> 00:10:11,799
Officer Buck: What the --
what's going on, man?
254
00:10:11,833 --> 00:10:13,567
Hey! What the hell
are they doing with Arthur?
255
00:10:13,602 --> 00:10:14,802
Oh, they're taking him
the warehouse.
256
00:10:14,836 --> 00:10:16,103
Warehouse?!
No, they're stealing him!
257
00:10:16,138 --> 00:10:19,940
Holy dome rules, suckers!
[ laughs ]
258
00:10:19,975 --> 00:10:22,043
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
259
00:10:22,077 --> 00:10:24,912
Arthur! Arthur!
260
00:10:24,946 --> 00:10:26,213
Arthur!
261
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:33,000
Fifty years of rivalry
and you guys blow it.
262
00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:41,203
Unbelievable... What were you
guys thinking?
263
00:10:42,906 --> 00:10:45,841
You let them
take the statue.
264
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:48,343
No! Wait.
265
00:10:48,378 --> 00:10:50,312
You volunteered...
266
00:10:50,346 --> 00:10:54,249
Help them
take the statue.
267
00:10:54,284 --> 00:10:56,218
[ no audio ]
268
00:10:56,252 --> 00:10:58,554
That was sure
nice of you.
269
00:10:58,588 --> 00:11:00,422
Did you make sure that they
lifted with their legs?
270
00:11:00,457 --> 00:11:03,225
'cause I would hate for them
to strain their backs
271
00:11:03,259 --> 00:11:05,427
Or -- oh, god forbid --
get a hernia.
272
00:11:05,462 --> 00:11:08,931
Damon, they had badges, okay?
School I.D.s.
273
00:11:08,965 --> 00:11:10,833
I mean,
they looked official.
274
00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:12,234
Really, guys?
275
00:11:12,268 --> 00:11:13,635
Every student
on this campus
276
00:11:13,670 --> 00:11:16,238
Has a "totally official"
fake I.D.
277
00:11:16,272 --> 00:11:18,207
You four
have fake I.D.s.
278
00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:21,844
I know, but their authoritative
attitude really sold it.
279
00:11:21,878 --> 00:11:23,712
Brian: Damon,
with all due respect,
280
00:11:23,746 --> 00:11:25,848
We were trained to defend
against a frontal assault.
281
00:11:25,882 --> 00:11:27,316
We never covered
subterfuge.
282
00:11:28,685 --> 00:11:30,619
What about you, Joel?
283
00:11:30,653 --> 00:11:32,387
As the pledge class
president,
284
00:11:32,422 --> 00:11:34,022
You're awfully quiet,
aren't you?
285
00:11:35,792 --> 00:11:38,427
That's because nothing I say
can change the fact
286
00:11:38,461 --> 00:11:39,995
That it happened
on my watch.
287
00:11:40,029 --> 00:11:41,830
I should have seen
something like this coming.
288
00:11:41,865 --> 00:11:43,365
This is on me.
289
00:11:45,268 --> 00:11:48,604
I appreciate you
stepping up,
290
00:11:48,638 --> 00:11:51,406
But that doesn't change the fact
that the statue's gone.
291
00:11:53,276 --> 00:11:54,943
How many people know
292
00:11:54,978 --> 00:11:57,312
That it was stolen
on Omega Sig's watch?
293
00:11:57,347 --> 00:12:01,283
After the "Hayes spectator"
comes out tomorrow...
294
00:12:02,819 --> 00:12:04,586
...Everybody.
295
00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,391
I got to go do
damage control.
296
00:12:14,831 --> 00:12:16,398
[ crickets chirping ]
297
00:12:16,432 --> 00:12:17,766
[ '80s music plays ]
298
00:12:24,374 --> 00:12:25,474
Yeah?
299
00:12:27,677 --> 00:12:29,044
Christie, hey!
300
00:12:29,078 --> 00:12:31,313
Hey.
Hi.
301
00:12:31,347 --> 00:12:33,849
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Were you sleeping?
302
00:12:33,883 --> 00:12:35,984
Oh, no. No, this --
this is mousse.
303
00:12:36,019 --> 00:12:37,986
I was trying out
a new product.
304
00:12:38,021 --> 00:12:41,056
It's really working for you.
[ chuckles ]
305
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:44,459
Are you busy? I was hoping I could
get a few quotes for my story.
306
00:12:44,494 --> 00:12:47,296
I mean, you were there.
Think you saw what happened.
307
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:49,998
We pretty much gift-wrapped
the statue for the enemy.
308
00:12:50,033 --> 00:12:53,402
Don't beat yourself up.
I mean, they fooled me, too.
309
00:12:53,436 --> 00:12:55,537
You don't mind including that
in your story, do you?
310
00:12:55,572 --> 00:12:57,739
[ chuckles ]
I don't know what to include.
311
00:12:57,774 --> 00:13:01,376
I mean, Damon wants me
to soft-pedal the story.
312
00:13:01,411 --> 00:13:02,744
You guys are my friends.
313
00:13:02,779 --> 00:13:06,815
You know, I'm...
Really conflicted.
314
00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:10,586
Well...
What you want to do?
315
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,055
[ sighs ]
I don't know.
316
00:13:13,089 --> 00:13:15,657
I thought covering this
was gonna be a total joke,
317
00:13:15,692 --> 00:13:18,660
But, come on, Holy Dome's been
after our statue for 50 years,
318
00:13:18,695 --> 00:13:20,562
And when they got it,
I was there.
319
00:13:20,597 --> 00:13:22,864
I'm part of history,
and now it's my story.
320
00:13:22,899 --> 00:13:25,367
I mean, someday,
people could write stories
321
00:13:25,401 --> 00:13:26,969
About me
writing this story.
322
00:13:27,003 --> 00:13:29,104
God, I hope not.
323
00:13:29,138 --> 00:13:31,640
I'd rather not relive this
for the rest of my life.
324
00:13:31,674 --> 00:13:35,043
Look, I think that you should
write what you want to write.
325
00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:39,715
I mean,
what would Diane Sawyer do?
326
00:13:39,749 --> 00:13:41,149
Hmm?
327
00:13:43,820 --> 00:13:44,953
Jason: Oh, this is worse
than I thought.
328
00:13:44,988 --> 00:13:46,755
Eli:
Tell me about it.
329
00:13:46,789 --> 00:13:49,558
You know what, guys? At least
the reporting is balanced.
330
00:13:49,592 --> 00:13:50,859
You know,
she does make the point
331
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:52,494
That it could've happened
to anybody.
332
00:13:52,528 --> 00:13:54,563
Nice job, assholes!
333
00:13:54,597 --> 00:13:57,699
Yeah, I don't think the rest
of the campus sees it that way.
334
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:59,401
Great.
335
00:13:59,435 --> 00:14:01,703
So, we've managed to dishonor
the Omega Sig house
336
00:14:01,738 --> 00:14:03,472
And the entire school.
337
00:14:06,876 --> 00:14:09,144
Then we have to restore honor
to both.
338
00:14:09,178 --> 00:14:10,979
I can't believe
we pulled this off.
339
00:14:11,014 --> 00:14:13,382
I'm gonna go find the guys.
Don't let the hood come off.
340
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:14,916
Is everything all set
for the tailgate?
341
00:14:14,951 --> 00:14:16,952
Yeah, we got 15 pounds
of charcoal fluid,
342
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,087
The beast has had its
50,000-mile tune-up,
343
00:14:19,122 --> 00:14:20,956
And Hector's been prepping
the tamale cart all week.
344
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,791
Oh, man --
345
00:14:22,825 --> 00:14:24,960
Guys, there's something
you need to see.
346
00:14:26,029 --> 00:14:27,929
Come here.
347
00:14:39,709 --> 00:14:44,079
Gentlemen,
we'd like to present...
348
00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:46,114
The Holy Dome Leprechaun.
349
00:14:49,152 --> 00:14:51,186
[ laughing ]
this is awesome!
350
00:14:51,220 --> 00:14:53,689
Truly inspired, gentlemen! Yeah!
351
00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:55,057
Whoo!
352
00:14:55,091 --> 00:14:57,492
Wow!
353
00:14:57,527 --> 00:14:58,760
They got him!
354
00:14:58,795 --> 00:15:00,195
He's bigger
than I thought.
355
00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:05,200
[ birds chirping ]
356
00:15:05,234 --> 00:15:06,835
[ grunting ]
357
00:15:06,869 --> 00:15:09,037
How did you guys
pull this off?
358
00:15:09,072 --> 00:15:10,205
Well, we figured
the best thing to do
359
00:15:10,239 --> 00:15:11,840
Was check all the hotels
in town
360
00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:12,941
And find out where
the Holy Dome team and staff
361
00:15:12,975 --> 00:15:14,509
Were staying
for the game.
362
00:15:14,544 --> 00:15:15,777
And then sneak
into the hotel laundry room
363
00:15:15,812 --> 00:15:17,479
And steal some
hotel staff uniforms.
364
00:15:17,513 --> 00:15:19,081
And then pretend
to deliver room service
365
00:15:19,115 --> 00:15:20,549
To the mascot's room.
366
00:15:20,583 --> 00:15:22,084
And then, when he opened
the door, grab him.
367
00:15:22,118 --> 00:15:23,885
And that really worked? No.
368
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,588
None of the hotels would give us
information on their guests.
369
00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,790
But we did saw a car
with a Holy Dome bumper sticker
370
00:15:28,825 --> 00:15:30,792
Leaving the parking lot,
and guess who was driving?
371
00:15:30,827 --> 00:15:32,060
This guy, yeah.
372
00:15:32,095 --> 00:15:33,862
So we followed him
to a strip club,
373
00:15:33,896 --> 00:15:35,897
Ere, with the help of the
lovely ladies of the booby trap,
374
00:15:35,932 --> 00:15:38,166
We managed to corner him
in the champagne room.
375
00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:39,534
Ah, the booby trap.
376
00:15:39,569 --> 00:15:40,902
Did you tell Darlene
I said hi?
377
00:15:40,937 --> 00:15:42,003
Yeah,
she sends her best.
378
00:15:42,038 --> 00:15:43,839
Ahh!
379
00:15:43,873 --> 00:15:45,707
[ clears throat ]
380
00:15:45,742 --> 00:15:49,077
Now, where is the statue? Wait!
381
00:15:49,112 --> 00:15:50,679
[ irish accent ] yah!
382
00:15:50,713 --> 00:15:53,014
I'm not telling you anything,
you cowardly bastards!
383
00:15:53,049 --> 00:15:56,251
Untie me, and I'll take on
every one of you!
384
00:15:56,285 --> 00:15:58,487
Slap you so hard,
you won't know what hit you
385
00:15:58,521 --> 00:16:00,522
Until you read about it
in your obituary!
386
00:16:00,556 --> 00:16:02,057
Ha ha ha ha ha!
387
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,025
He's actually Irish.
[ laughs ]
388
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:05,127
[ laughing ]
I know!
389
00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:06,895
Crazy.
D foul-mouthed.
390
00:16:06,929 --> 00:16:08,997
And you're the seed, breed,
and spawn of an english whore!
391
00:16:09,031 --> 00:16:10,565
Ooh.
392
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,668
You brigands are messing
with the wrong Leprechaun!
393
00:16:13,703 --> 00:16:15,670
And he still doesn't
break character.
394
00:16:15,705 --> 00:16:16,738
[ grunts ]
395
00:16:18,574 --> 00:16:21,009
You got to admire this man's
dedication to his craft.
396
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:23,712
Look, if he doesn't say
anything, worst-case scenario --
397
00:16:23,746 --> 00:16:25,614
Right? --
We keep him here locked up,
398
00:16:25,648 --> 00:16:27,916
He's a no-show for the game --
we're heroes.
399
00:16:27,950 --> 00:16:31,186
More than that.
I mean, we'd be legends.
400
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,821
That's true,
401
00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,189
But just in case,
let me...
402
00:16:34,223 --> 00:16:37,459
Just give me a second.
[ clears throat ]
403
00:16:37,493 --> 00:16:40,462
Look, Leprechaun...
404
00:16:40,496 --> 00:16:42,130
I know you're not happy
about this.
405
00:16:42,165 --> 00:16:43,799
But if you tell us
where the statue is,
406
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,534
We can have you
at the booby trap in 10 minutes,
407
00:16:45,568 --> 00:16:47,035
Playing dollar-bill
hide-and-seek with Darlene.
408
00:16:47,069 --> 00:16:49,638
How about you let me go,
and I promise
409
00:16:49,672 --> 00:16:51,606
Not to beat thaggis
out of you?!
410
00:16:51,641 --> 00:16:52,908
Huh?! Ha ha!
[ spits ]
411
00:16:52,942 --> 00:16:55,610
Mr. President,
he's all yours.
412
00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:58,480
[ laughs ]
413
00:16:58,514 --> 00:17:00,715
But he...
414
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:02,884
Well, I-I-I guess we're gonna --
we're gonna have to
415
00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:05,187
Keep you here
until the end of the game.
416
00:17:05,221 --> 00:17:08,156
[ shivers mockingly ] but we're gonna try
to make you as comfortable as possible.
417
00:17:08,191 --> 00:17:09,758
All right?
418
00:17:09,792 --> 00:17:12,828
Uh, is there anything
that you'd like to watch?
419
00:17:12,862 --> 00:17:15,964
Hmm. Aye.
You shagging the little one.
420
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:17,766
[ laughs ]
what?!
421
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,569
It's -- yeah.
How about something to eat?
422
00:17:20,603 --> 00:17:22,137
Huh? I bet
you could use a beer.
423
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:24,272
Mnh! Beer is for women
and children!
424
00:17:24,307 --> 00:17:27,175
Bring me an irish whiskey
or nothing at all!
425
00:17:29,111 --> 00:17:31,646
Get the man
some whiskey.
426
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,359
♪ Ooh, Danny boy ♪
427
00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:41,097
♪ the pipes,
the pipes are calling ♪
428
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:43,366
[ hiccups ]
ugh.
429
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,635
I've never seen anything
like it. This is great!
430
00:17:45,669 --> 00:17:49,438
Boys! I got to shake the dew
off me lily.
431
00:17:49,473 --> 00:17:51,107
I'm sorry, what?
432
00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:53,543
I think he has to pee, man.
I mean, it makes sense.
433
00:17:53,577 --> 00:17:56,612
He just drank his weight
in liquor.
434
00:17:56,647 --> 00:17:58,414
Oh, no.
W-we can't untie him.
435
00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:00,383
Okay, then what do you
want to do?
436
00:18:00,417 --> 00:18:01,751
All right, which one
of you lucky lads
437
00:18:01,785 --> 00:18:03,586
Gets to unbutton
my trousers?
438
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:04,921
[ laughs ]
439
00:18:07,291 --> 00:18:11,160
Just do me a favor --
warm your hands.
440
00:18:11,194 --> 00:18:14,530
Me Blarney Stones
are a wee bit sensitive.
441
00:18:14,565 --> 00:18:16,299
[ laughing ] no.
No, no. Unh-unh.
442
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:18,501
Well, that looks like a job
for the president.
443
00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:20,636
What? No!
[ laughs ]
444
00:18:20,671 --> 00:18:22,872
[ doorbell buzzes,
rings off-key ]
445
00:18:22,906 --> 00:18:25,474
All right, I'm gonna go
see who that is.
446
00:18:25,509 --> 00:18:27,677
We'll draw straws
when I get back, all right?
447
00:18:33,884 --> 00:18:35,851
Hey.
448
00:18:35,886 --> 00:18:37,887
What --
449
00:18:37,921 --> 00:18:41,357
Professor Haines, what --
what brings you here?
450
00:18:41,391 --> 00:18:43,659
Oh, just reading about
your latest exploits.
451
00:18:43,694 --> 00:18:45,628
We need to
discuss this.
452
00:18:45,662 --> 00:18:47,296
Uh, you know what?
453
00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:49,265
I'm really glad
that you stopped by,
454
00:18:49,299 --> 00:18:51,167
But now is not really
a great time.
455
00:18:51,201 --> 00:18:52,802
Um, maybe you can
come back a little later?
456
00:18:52,836 --> 00:18:55,237
No. Joel, you know what?
I've already let too much slide.
457
00:18:55,272 --> 00:18:57,206
As your faculty adviser,
it's time for me
458
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,442
To take an active role
in guiding this fraternity.
459
00:18:59,476 --> 00:19:00,643
Eli:
Joel, get back here!
460
00:19:00,677 --> 00:19:02,345
I'm not touching
this guy's schlong!
461
00:19:02,379 --> 00:19:04,347
And that will start
tomorrow.
462
00:19:06,283 --> 00:19:10,152
[ tearing, clattering
in background ]
463
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:11,921
[ sighs ]
464
00:19:11,955 --> 00:19:13,856
[ door closes ]
465
00:19:18,395 --> 00:19:20,363
Well, that was a close one.
Geez.
466
00:19:20,397 --> 00:19:21,897
Eli: [ muffled ]
Joel! Joel!
467
00:19:21,932 --> 00:19:23,566
Eli?!
468
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,167
Little help?
469
00:19:25,202 --> 00:19:26,235
What happened?
470
00:19:26,269 --> 00:19:27,670
[ speaking indistinctly ]
471
00:19:29,473 --> 00:19:31,273
What were you
trying to say?
472
00:19:31,308 --> 00:19:32,708
I said,
"take the gag off."
473
00:19:34,745 --> 00:19:38,848
Joel, we got to lock this
place up so he can't get out.
474
00:19:38,882 --> 00:19:40,716
Damon: How does a Leprechaun
just disappear?
475
00:19:55,432 --> 00:19:56,932
[ doorbell buzzes,
rings off-key ]
476
00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:59,301
I got it, guys.
477
00:20:02,272 --> 00:20:04,240
Hey, get in.
Get in!
478
00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:05,574
What's going on?
479
00:20:05,609 --> 00:20:07,576
The Leprechaun got loose. What?! How?!
480
00:20:07,611 --> 00:20:09,311
Don't worry.
It's under control, all right?
481
00:20:09,346 --> 00:20:11,414
We sealed the exits as soon
as we discovered he was gone,
482
00:20:11,448 --> 00:20:12,882
So he's still
somewhere in the house.
483
00:20:12,916 --> 00:20:14,650
Well, good, because if he
makes it to the game,
484
00:20:14,685 --> 00:20:16,585
This whole thing
will have been for nothing.
485
00:20:16,620 --> 00:20:19,255
Not true. We could still get indicted
on federal kidnapping charges.
486
00:20:20,924 --> 00:20:22,892
[ Leprechaun laughs ]
487
00:20:22,926 --> 00:20:24,527
That's him.
Well, get him.
488
00:20:24,561 --> 00:20:26,362
He can't get out.
He's locked in.
489
00:20:26,396 --> 00:20:28,497
Sounded like that came
from upstairs.
490
00:20:28,532 --> 00:20:30,533
I thought it came
from downstairs.
491
00:20:30,567 --> 00:20:32,468
All right.
492
00:20:32,502 --> 00:20:34,937
We're gonna split up
into teams.
493
00:20:34,971 --> 00:20:37,239
Search every inch
of this house.
494
00:20:37,274 --> 00:20:39,575
We got 17 hours
before the game tomorrow.
495
00:20:39,609 --> 00:20:41,777
We'll search all night
if we have to.
496
00:20:41,812 --> 00:20:44,246
Joel?
Yeah.
497
00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:46,048
I got he-man.
498
00:20:49,653 --> 00:20:52,488
How is it possible
we haven't found this guy yet?
499
00:20:52,522 --> 00:20:54,623
Well, it's not
that surprising, really.
500
00:20:54,658 --> 00:20:56,392
According to lore,
Leprechauns are the progeny
501
00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:59,395
Of an evil spirit...
502
00:20:59,429 --> 00:21:02,732
And a degenerate fairy.
503
00:21:02,766 --> 00:21:07,536
So,
by their very nature...
504
00:21:07,571 --> 00:21:09,839
They're devious
tricksters.
505
00:21:11,408 --> 00:21:14,009
Yeah, well,
that'd be really helpful, man...
506
00:21:14,044 --> 00:21:17,613
If Leprechauns
actually existed.
507
00:21:20,484 --> 00:21:22,485
Maybe that's what they
want you to think.
508
00:21:22,519 --> 00:21:26,355
[ Leprechaun laughs ]
509
00:21:29,826 --> 00:21:30,960
Let's get out of here.
510
00:21:30,994 --> 00:21:32,762
Yeah, you first.
511
00:21:32,796 --> 00:21:33,763
[ '80s music plays ]
512
00:21:33,797 --> 00:21:35,264
Uh...
513
00:21:46,643 --> 00:21:49,645
Hey, what up,
little bro?
514
00:21:49,679 --> 00:21:54,350
Um...Top of the morning
and stuff.
515
00:21:54,384 --> 00:21:57,920
[ laughs ] looks like somebody's
been hitting the clover.
516
00:21:57,954 --> 00:21:59,622
Yeah, dude.
517
00:21:59,656 --> 00:22:03,592
Uh...I knew that this was
gonna happen one day.
518
00:22:03,627 --> 00:22:05,628
Uh-oh.
519
00:22:05,662 --> 00:22:07,963
Hey, you're a Leprechaun,
dude.
520
00:22:07,998 --> 00:22:09,865
You know what?
Does that mean
521
00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,301
That you can grant me
three wishes or whatever?
522
00:22:12,335 --> 00:22:14,870
Aye.
But make it quick, lad.
523
00:22:14,905 --> 00:22:16,972
Oh, I wish I knew
what to wish for.
524
00:22:17,007 --> 00:22:18,541
That's one.
525
00:22:18,575 --> 00:22:20,743
I wish I didn't make
that wish. That's two.
526
00:22:20,777 --> 00:22:23,813
I wish that this
wasn't so hard for me.
527
00:22:23,847 --> 00:22:25,047
That's three!
[ laughing ]
528
00:22:26,883 --> 00:22:29,451
Oh, dang.
529
00:22:29,486 --> 00:22:31,520
Hey, you know what?
530
00:22:31,555 --> 00:22:34,423
That was very nice of you to
do that -- give me three wishes.
531
00:22:34,457 --> 00:22:35,891
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
532
00:22:35,926 --> 00:22:38,961
It feels only fair if I were
to reciprocate, right?
533
00:22:38,995 --> 00:22:40,663
Sure.
Oh.
534
00:22:40,697 --> 00:22:43,399
You know what?
535
00:22:43,433 --> 00:22:46,268
I do not have a pot of gold. Ugh!
536
00:22:46,303 --> 00:22:48,771
Whoa. Whoa.
537
00:22:48,805 --> 00:22:51,473
I do have pot.
538
00:22:51,508 --> 00:22:54,643
[ whistles ]
539
00:22:54,678 --> 00:22:57,012
Let me get it.
[ grunting ]
540
00:22:57,047 --> 00:22:59,582
No, just don't --
don't make those noises.
541
00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:00,850
Chill out, okay?
542
00:23:00,884 --> 00:23:02,685
Don't -- don't be mad,
Leprechaun.
543
00:23:02,719 --> 00:23:04,987
Relax.
544
00:23:05,021 --> 00:23:08,324
Here.
545
00:23:08,358 --> 00:23:09,592
Okay. Nice.
546
00:23:09,626 --> 00:23:11,493
Thank you.
No problem.
547
00:23:11,528 --> 00:23:14,964
Pink hearts! Orange stars!
Yellow moons! And green clovers!
548
00:23:14,998 --> 00:23:16,999
Ugh! Hey, you forgot
the blue diamonds, bro.
549
00:23:17,033 --> 00:23:19,268
No, I didn't!
550
00:23:19,302 --> 00:23:20,936
Unh! Unh!
551
00:23:20,971 --> 00:23:22,571
Ah!
552
00:23:22,606 --> 00:23:25,307
[ laughing ]
553
00:23:28,278 --> 00:23:29,411
[ sighs ]
554
00:23:29,446 --> 00:23:32,381
[ thud ]
555
00:23:32,415 --> 00:23:33,849
Stankowski!
556
00:23:35,385 --> 00:23:36,986
That little dude
stole my weed.
557
00:23:39,022 --> 00:23:41,724
Are you hurt?
Only my feelings, bro.
558
00:23:41,758 --> 00:23:43,893
And me lucky charms.
559
00:23:50,232 --> 00:23:51,966
Should we
have weapons?
560
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:53,934
I feel like
we should have weapons.
561
00:23:53,969 --> 00:23:55,269
Shh.
562
00:24:03,178 --> 00:24:06,113
Stay behind me,
songbird.
563
00:24:06,147 --> 00:24:08,282
Okay, okay.
564
00:24:20,362 --> 00:24:21,962
Aah!
565
00:24:26,368 --> 00:24:29,837
[ both scream ]
566
00:24:29,871 --> 00:24:31,171
Aah!
567
00:24:31,206 --> 00:24:32,640
Open it, open it!
568
00:24:32,674 --> 00:24:35,209
[ both screaming,
banging on door ]
569
00:24:36,711 --> 00:24:39,213
Oh, my god!
Damon! Somebody!
570
00:24:41,816 --> 00:24:43,984
You didn't see
any sign of him?
571
00:24:44,019 --> 00:24:45,986
If the Leprechaun
wants to hide here,
572
00:24:46,021 --> 00:24:48,289
Smoke Stankovski's weed,
fine.
573
00:24:48,323 --> 00:24:50,157
The doors are locked.
The windows are bolted.
574
00:24:50,191 --> 00:24:51,892
He's trapped.
We won.
575
00:24:51,927 --> 00:24:55,396
I say we just sit back, relax,
and enjoy the game, huh?
576
00:24:55,430 --> 00:24:58,332
[ doorbell buzzes,
rings off-key ]
577
00:24:58,366 --> 00:25:00,834
[ cheering on television ]
578
00:25:04,873 --> 00:25:10,144
Ahh. If it isn't the boys
who gave away the statue.
579
00:25:10,178 --> 00:25:11,879
Please, come in.
580
00:25:11,913 --> 00:25:14,014
I got a report
of some women screaming
581
00:25:14,049 --> 00:25:15,883
From inside this house.
582
00:25:17,953 --> 00:25:20,721
Yeah, uh, sorry, officer.
We'll keep it down.
583
00:25:20,755 --> 00:25:23,057
Right, ladies?
584
00:25:23,091 --> 00:25:24,425
[ sniffing ]
585
00:25:24,459 --> 00:25:27,061
Smells like a guatemalan
drug hut in here.
586
00:25:27,095 --> 00:25:28,429
That's just incense.
587
00:25:28,463 --> 00:25:30,898
Yeah, some weed incense.
Grab some wall, boys.
588
00:25:30,932 --> 00:25:32,733
We're gonna take
a little trip downtown.
589
00:25:32,767 --> 00:25:34,401
O-officer, no.
I-I promise you, I can --
590
00:25:34,436 --> 00:25:36,370
Come on, grab the wall.
No, you don't understand.
591
00:25:36,404 --> 00:25:40,107
There is a police car out front.
What the hell is going on?
592
00:25:40,141 --> 00:25:43,043
You.
593
00:25:43,078 --> 00:25:46,981
Aloysius Haines.
594
00:25:47,015 --> 00:25:51,218
Again we meet
under dubious circumstances.
595
00:25:51,252 --> 00:25:53,153
Your boys here
have been partaking
596
00:25:53,188 --> 00:25:55,489
In some illegal
botanicals.
597
00:25:55,523 --> 00:25:57,091
No, sir, we haven't.
598
00:25:57,125 --> 00:25:59,093
Well, I'm sure there's
a logical explanation.
599
00:25:59,127 --> 00:26:00,494
There absolutely is,
gentlemen.
600
00:26:00,528 --> 00:26:02,763
I can assure you that we
have not been partaking
601
00:26:02,797 --> 00:26:03,897
In anything illegal.
602
00:26:03,932 --> 00:26:05,366
It is the...
603
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:07,267
Uh...
604
00:26:07,302 --> 00:26:10,971
Leprechaun hiding
in our house.
605
00:26:13,174 --> 00:26:15,809
You see?
Logical explanation.
606
00:26:15,844 --> 00:26:18,512
Gentlemen, you have the right
to remain silent.
607
00:26:18,546 --> 00:26:20,147
Anything you say
608
00:26:20,181 --> 00:26:22,983
Can and will be used against you
in a court of law.
609
00:26:23,018 --> 00:26:25,786
[ Leprechaun laughs ]
what the hell was that?
610
00:26:25,820 --> 00:26:27,021
The Leprechaun.
611
00:26:27,055 --> 00:26:28,856
It's -- it's
the Holy Dome mascot.
612
00:26:28,890 --> 00:26:30,891
We kidnapped him
in retaliation
613
00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:32,860
For them stealing
our statue.
614
00:26:32,894 --> 00:26:35,162
Did you just confess
to an abduction?
615
00:26:35,196 --> 00:26:37,064
No. No. No. No.
616
00:26:37,098 --> 00:26:38,966
No, no.
617
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,501
[ laughs ]
618
00:26:40,535 --> 00:26:42,202
Great job, boys!
619
00:26:42,237 --> 00:26:43,871
I hate
that damn Leprechaun.
620
00:26:43,905 --> 00:26:45,139
Really?
621
00:26:45,173 --> 00:26:46,507
[ laughter ]
622
00:26:46,541 --> 00:26:49,209
Finally, we got
something in common, huh?
623
00:26:49,244 --> 00:26:51,512
We got him, man.
624
00:26:51,546 --> 00:26:53,547
We're just planning on watching
the game and waiting him out.
625
00:26:53,581 --> 00:26:55,182
You're welcomeme
to watch with us.
626
00:26:55,216 --> 00:26:57,084
Eli: Can I offer you
some refreshments, officer?
627
00:26:57,118 --> 00:26:59,286
Sure. I can hang
for a few.
628
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:00,587
Awesome!
Officer Buck.
629
00:27:00,622 --> 00:27:02,222
Wait a minute.
630
00:27:02,257 --> 00:27:05,526
If you guys kidnapped
the Holy Dome mascot...
631
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,162
Then who is this?
632
00:27:08,196 --> 00:27:11,165
If that's the Holy Dome
Leprechaun...
633
00:27:11,199 --> 00:27:13,000
[ cheering ]
634
00:27:13,034 --> 00:27:15,536
...Who the hell
is in our house?
635
00:27:15,570 --> 00:27:17,171
Leprechaun:
[ laughs ]
636
00:27:17,205 --> 00:27:19,873
You're messing
with the wrong Leprechaun.
637
00:27:19,908 --> 00:27:21,408
[ laughs ]
638
00:27:21,443 --> 00:27:22,943
[ crickets chirping ]
639
00:27:28,383 --> 00:27:29,850
Who --
who is this guy?
640
00:27:29,884 --> 00:27:31,452
If he's not
the Holy Dome mascot,
641
00:27:31,486 --> 00:27:33,153
Why is he still here?
642
00:27:33,188 --> 00:27:34,888
What does he want?
643
00:27:34,923 --> 00:27:36,123
Revenge.
644
00:27:36,157 --> 00:27:38,392
Don't you see
what he's doing?
645
00:27:38,426 --> 00:27:40,027
Guys,
he's toying with us.
646
00:27:40,061 --> 00:27:41,361
And when he's had his fun,
647
00:27:41,396 --> 00:27:43,030
He's gonna pick us off,
one by one --
648
00:27:43,064 --> 00:27:44,965
Eli. Eli,
you're sleep-deprived, okay?
649
00:27:44,999 --> 00:27:47,301
You've been up
for 36 hours.
650
00:27:47,335 --> 00:27:49,069
Well, so has he.
Why isnhe tired?
651
00:27:49,104 --> 00:27:50,437
Brian: Yeah.
652
00:27:50,472 --> 00:27:52,473
There's only so much
marijuana and alcohol
653
00:27:52,507 --> 00:27:54,274
The human body
can tolerate.
654
00:27:54,309 --> 00:27:56,443
That's 'cause
he's not human.
655
00:27:56,478 --> 00:27:58,979
He's a real Leprechaun.
656
00:27:59,013 --> 00:28:02,049
We walked that perimeter
three times.
657
00:28:02,083 --> 00:28:03,951
Yeah, we got to know each other
pretty well.
658
00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:05,986
One thing we can agree on
is that, uh,
659
00:28:06,020 --> 00:28:07,988
We really don't like
each other that much.
660
00:28:08,022 --> 00:28:09,356
Nope.
661
00:28:09,390 --> 00:28:11,225
Did you guys happen to notice
a short guy,
662
00:28:11,259 --> 00:28:14,495
Wears lots of green,
works the balls like sugar ray?
663
00:28:14,529 --> 00:28:17,664
No, nothing.
He's burrowed in pretty deep.
664
00:28:17,699 --> 00:28:19,566
But I'm up
for the challenge.
665
00:28:19,601 --> 00:28:22,302
I hope
he resists arrest.
666
00:28:22,337 --> 00:28:26,140
Right. Let's go check the basement.
667
00:28:26,174 --> 00:28:28,108
[ doorbell buzzes,
rings off-key ]
668
00:28:28,143 --> 00:28:29,543
[ gasps ]
669
00:28:29,577 --> 00:28:31,445
Man, we got to
disconnect that thing.
670
00:28:31,479 --> 00:28:34,481
I got it, guys.
I got it.
671
00:28:37,585 --> 00:28:39,920
Hey, Christie.
Hey!
672
00:28:39,954 --> 00:28:42,389
Hey,
what are you doing here?
673
00:28:42,423 --> 00:28:44,224
Oh, just a follow-up.
674
00:28:44,259 --> 00:28:46,226
Damon said you guys were
trying to get the statue back,
675
00:28:46,261 --> 00:28:47,961
And after the last story,
676
00:28:47,996 --> 00:28:49,997
I wanted to write something
positive about the Omega Sigs.
677
00:28:50,031 --> 00:28:51,465
So,
any new developments?
678
00:28:55,503 --> 00:28:58,472
No.
No, not really.
679
00:28:58,506 --> 00:29:00,140
Nothing?
680
00:29:00,175 --> 00:29:02,276
Guys, what's going on?
681
00:29:04,345 --> 00:29:05,679
He cut the power.
682
00:29:05,713 --> 00:29:06,980
Who cut the power?
683
00:29:07,015 --> 00:29:07,981
The Leprechaun.
684
00:29:08,016 --> 00:29:10,217
What Leprechaun?
685
00:29:10,251 --> 00:29:13,520
Okay, this is strictly
off the record,
686
00:29:13,555 --> 00:29:15,989
But we thought we kidnapped
the Holy Dome mascot,
687
00:29:16,024 --> 00:29:17,958
But we grabbed
the wrong Leprechaun.
688
00:29:17,992 --> 00:29:20,994
And now he's in here...
Somewhere.
689
00:29:21,029 --> 00:29:22,095
Right.
690
00:29:22,130 --> 00:29:23,197
Seriously.
691
00:29:24,632 --> 00:29:27,367
Damon...
Did you just grab my butt?
692
00:29:27,402 --> 00:29:31,038
No, I thought you
grabbed mine.
693
00:29:31,072 --> 00:29:33,073
[ Leprechaun laughs ]
694
00:29:33,107 --> 00:29:35,509
[ all screaming ]
695
00:29:35,543 --> 00:29:37,244
Brian:
Ow! He bit me!
696
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,447
Just pick on someone
your own size,
697
00:29:40,481 --> 00:29:42,049
You little celtic demon!
698
00:29:42,083 --> 00:29:43,717
Don't say that!
He's my size!
699
00:29:43,751 --> 00:29:45,118
Still moving!
700
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:52,366
Okay, the Leprechaun bit me.
I need a rabies shot... now!
701
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,335
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Someone's coming.
702
00:29:55,370 --> 00:29:57,604
Christie: [ gasps ]
oh, my god!
703
00:29:59,374 --> 00:30:02,676
Son of a bitch
got my handcuffs...
704
00:30:02,710 --> 00:30:04,178
Took my keys.
705
00:30:04,212 --> 00:30:05,646
And our dignity.
706
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,347
Okay, but seriously,
707
00:30:07,382 --> 00:30:09,416
You're not gonna put this part
in your story, are you?
708
00:30:09,450 --> 00:30:11,518
I would if I thought anyone
would believe me.
709
00:30:11,553 --> 00:30:14,388
Guys, we are dealing with
a superior criminal mind here.
710
00:30:14,422 --> 00:30:17,524
As much as I hate to say it,
I agree.
711
00:30:17,559 --> 00:30:19,459
We need a new
plan of attack.
712
00:30:19,494 --> 00:30:22,162
Aloysius, follow me.
713
00:30:22,197 --> 00:30:24,198
Like I have a choice?
714
00:30:24,232 --> 00:30:25,732
Make way, boys.
715
00:30:27,302 --> 00:30:30,270
Okay. We need to get
the power back on now.
716
00:30:30,305 --> 00:30:32,139
Somebody's got to go
down into the e basement
717
00:30:32,173 --> 00:30:35,309
And flip
the circuit breaker.
718
00:30:35,343 --> 00:30:37,411
No way! No!
719
00:30:37,445 --> 00:30:40,681
Uh, I don't want to be a legend!
I want to live through this!
720
00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:44,518
[ sighs ]
721
00:30:44,552 --> 00:30:46,553
I'll go.
722
00:30:46,588 --> 00:30:48,255
Joel,
I would go with you,
723
00:30:48,289 --> 00:30:50,524
But, as pledge class
vice president,
724
00:30:50,558 --> 00:30:52,593
I'm only one heartbeat away
from the presidency,
725
00:30:52,627 --> 00:30:54,695
So we can't risk it.
726
00:30:56,564 --> 00:31:00,100
Wait.
You're not going alone.
727
00:31:00,134 --> 00:31:01,869
I'm going in with you.
728
00:31:05,573 --> 00:31:06,840
Christie: Be careful!
729
00:31:08,243 --> 00:31:09,810
I will.
I will.
730
00:31:26,527 --> 00:31:28,662
[ both scream ]
731
00:31:28,696 --> 00:31:30,497
Barbara!
732
00:31:30,531 --> 00:31:32,633
[ both breathing heavily ]
733
00:31:41,242 --> 00:31:43,744
So, if he's not
the Holy Dome mascot,
734
00:31:43,778 --> 00:31:45,545
He could be anybody?
735
00:31:45,580 --> 00:31:47,581
I mean, he could be
an escaped mental patient
736
00:31:47,615 --> 00:31:49,683
Who likes to dress up
as a Leprechaun?
737
00:31:49,717 --> 00:31:52,686
Do we really have to go
to the absolute worst-case scenario?
738
00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:55,389
Why can't he just be some
really rabid Holy Dome fan?
739
00:31:55,423 --> 00:31:57,557
Well, the biggest mental-health
facility in the state
740
00:31:57,592 --> 00:31:59,259
Is 10 miles from here.
741
00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:02,296
I really hate that you know
these kind of things.
742
00:32:02,330 --> 00:32:03,730
Reno: Shh! Shh!
743
00:32:03,765 --> 00:32:05,899
I hear footsteps.
744
00:32:05,934 --> 00:32:07,734
Size 4 or 5.
745
00:32:07,769 --> 00:32:10,804
Oh, I see him!
I see him.
746
00:32:10,838 --> 00:32:13,307
I see him.
There he is!
747
00:32:13,341 --> 00:32:14,474
Aaaah!
748
00:32:15,276 --> 00:32:17,277
Aaaah!
[ shouts indistinctly ]
749
00:32:17,312 --> 00:32:20,013
Where's the fuse box?
750
00:32:20,048 --> 00:32:21,748
Right there,
on the back wall.
751
00:32:21,783 --> 00:32:23,383
Right there?
Yeah.
752
00:32:23,418 --> 00:32:26,453
Okay.
753
00:32:26,487 --> 00:32:28,689
All right.
[ breathing heavily ]
754
00:32:32,026 --> 00:32:34,461
[ sighs ] okay, great. [ sighs ]
755
00:32:34,495 --> 00:32:36,797
Hold still!
Hold...Still!
756
00:32:36,831 --> 00:32:38,799
What are you doing?
Get off of me!
757
00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,367
Ugh!
758
00:32:42,837 --> 00:32:44,271
Do I look irish?!
759
00:32:44,305 --> 00:32:45,939
The three big ones.
760
00:32:45,974 --> 00:32:47,407
Here?
Yeah.
761
00:32:47,442 --> 00:32:50,310
Okay.
762
00:32:50,345 --> 00:32:52,646
Come on, let's get
out of here. Let's go.
763
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:54,648
[ both grunting ]
764
00:32:54,682 --> 00:32:56,516
Oh!
765
00:32:56,551 --> 00:32:58,018
[ chuckles ]
766
00:33:00,922 --> 00:33:03,023
And then, after the Leprechaun
attacked us, I tr--
767
00:33:03,057 --> 00:33:04,624
I think
"sneak attacked"
768
00:33:04,659 --> 00:33:06,793
More accurately
describes the encounter.
769
00:33:06,828 --> 00:33:08,462
Well, I tried
to chase after him,
770
00:33:08,496 --> 00:33:10,063
But he -- he escaped
into the air duct.
771
00:33:12,667 --> 00:33:15,569
Ohhh.
772
00:33:15,603 --> 00:33:21,008
That's how the rascally bastard
has avoided capture, huh?
773
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:22,909
Till now.
774
00:33:22,944 --> 00:33:24,544
It's up to you, Hector.
775
00:33:24,579 --> 00:33:26,847
You ready to hunt
some Leprechaun?!
776
00:33:26,881 --> 00:33:28,515
Huh?
I'm feeling lucky!
777
00:33:28,549 --> 00:33:29,649
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
778
00:33:29,684 --> 00:33:30,851
Come on, Hector!
779
00:33:30,885 --> 00:33:31,952
Get him, man!
Get him!
780
00:33:31,986 --> 00:33:33,820
It's fine.
He's tenacious.
781
00:33:33,855 --> 00:33:35,722
Get him, Hector! This does
not feel like a good idea.
782
00:33:35,757 --> 00:33:37,424
It's fine. He's a warrior.
It's too dangerous.
783
00:33:37,458 --> 00:33:38,992
Damon: No, no.
Come on, Hector, get him!
784
00:33:39,027 --> 00:33:41,028
You got him,
you got him.
785
00:33:41,062 --> 00:33:43,463
You see anything
in there?
786
00:33:43,498 --> 00:33:45,699
Hector: Nothing.
He must have had --
787
00:33:45,733 --> 00:33:48,035
Leprechaun: Take that!
That all you got?
788
00:33:48,069 --> 00:33:49,369
[ indistinct shouting,
punches landing ]
789
00:33:49,404 --> 00:33:50,604
Missed me.
790
00:33:50,638 --> 00:33:53,340
[ laughs ]
791
00:33:55,343 --> 00:33:59,279
What happened?
792
00:33:59,313 --> 00:34:00,947
[ all gasp ]
793
00:34:05,653 --> 00:34:06,553
Oh.
794
00:34:07,822 --> 00:34:09,356
Hector?
795
00:34:09,390 --> 00:34:11,758
I will avenge you,
my poquito amigo.
796
00:34:13,661 --> 00:34:17,064
Stankowski: [ singsong voice ]
I know how to catch him.
797
00:34:22,537 --> 00:34:25,038
[ normal voice ] we can fill
the place up with water
798
00:34:25,073 --> 00:34:27,507
And then turn the heat up
real good
799
00:34:27,542 --> 00:34:29,443
So the water evaporates.
800
00:34:29,477 --> 00:34:32,446
That's how a cloud is formed,
you know?
801
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,415
Then, when the cloud
gets angry
802
00:34:35,450 --> 00:34:37,417
And starts to rain,
803
00:34:37,452 --> 00:34:39,820
We can let
some sunlight in,
804
00:34:39,854 --> 00:34:43,557
And then that's how
a rainbow is formed.
805
00:34:43,591 --> 00:34:48,495
At the end of that rainbow
will be our Leprechaun.
806
00:34:48,529 --> 00:34:51,364
Well, technically,
it's the pot of gold
807
00:34:51,399 --> 00:34:52,766
You'd find at the end
of the rainbow.
808
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,968
Details.
809
00:34:55,002 --> 00:34:57,671
Oh. Oh, no.
No, no. Wait.
810
00:34:57,705 --> 00:34:59,539
That gives me an idea.
811
00:34:59,574 --> 00:35:02,943
The Leprechaun smoked all of
Stankovski's marijuana, right?
812
00:35:04,779 --> 00:35:06,813
Well...
813
00:35:06,848 --> 00:35:09,716
He's got to be developing
a serious case of the crunchies.
814
00:35:09,750 --> 00:35:14,054
Oh, it's actually "munchies,"
but "crunchies" is awesome.
815
00:35:14,088 --> 00:35:16,823
I'm gonna start using that
from now on.
816
00:35:16,858 --> 00:35:17,991
Okay. Yeah. Yeah.
817
00:35:18,025 --> 00:35:20,627
Right?
Yes, yes.
818
00:35:33,608 --> 00:35:35,876
[ laughs ]
819
00:35:37,879 --> 00:35:39,579
[ grunting ]
820
00:35:39,614 --> 00:35:40,680
[ laughing ]
821
00:35:44,051 --> 00:35:45,552
Get him!
822
00:35:46,420 --> 00:35:48,421
Go! Go!
823
00:35:48,456 --> 00:35:50,790
[ all shouting ]
824
00:35:50,825 --> 00:35:53,727
[ cheering ]
825
00:35:58,132 --> 00:36:02,068
Oh, yeah! Whose pipes are
calling now, Danny boy?
826
00:36:02,103 --> 00:36:03,837
[ laughs ]
827
00:36:03,871 --> 00:36:05,605
[ cheering ]
828
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,808
All:
♪ oh, Danny boy ♪
829
00:36:08,843 --> 00:36:14,548
♪ the pipes,
the pipes are calling ♪
830
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:23,000
Listen, Seamus, let me give you one more
chance to tell me who the hell you are!
831
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,983
Or what? You'll let me dance
another jig on your face again?
832
00:36:27,017 --> 00:36:28,685
[ laughs ]
833
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,320
We're not
getting anywhere.
834
00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,988
Give me five minutes
and a curling iron.
835
00:36:32,022 --> 00:36:33,122
Not now, Hector.
836
00:36:33,157 --> 00:36:34,791
It's time for Stankovski.
837
00:36:36,493 --> 00:36:37,527
Yeah.
838
00:36:41,632 --> 00:36:44,734
A little Navajo truth root
will loosen his tongue.
839
00:36:44,768 --> 00:36:46,336
Pfft!
840
00:36:46,370 --> 00:36:48,204
"Navajo truth root"?
841
00:36:48,238 --> 00:36:50,707
Yeah, it's medicinal,
all natural,
842
00:36:50,741 --> 00:36:52,642
And perfectly legal...
843
00:36:52,676 --> 00:36:54,344
In most states.
844
00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:56,079
Except Indiana.
845
00:36:56,113 --> 00:36:58,014
You're not gonna get
anything out of me.
846
00:36:58,048 --> 00:36:59,749
No, you're not.
Nothing, you hear me?
847
00:36:59,783 --> 00:37:01,317
[ chuckles ]
848
00:37:04,388 --> 00:37:06,089
[ coughing ]
849
00:37:15,432 --> 00:37:17,333
[ sighs ]
850
00:37:17,368 --> 00:37:18,634
[ coughing ]
851
00:37:27,378 --> 00:37:29,579
[ american accent ]
I'm a decoy.
852
00:37:29,613 --> 00:37:33,583
Every year, Holy Dome pays me
about 150 bucks
853
00:37:33,617 --> 00:37:35,485
To, uh, dress up
like their mascot.
854
00:37:35,519 --> 00:37:38,521
How come, all of a sudden,
he's got that weird accent, huh?
855
00:37:38,555 --> 00:37:40,690
I get it -- so we spend all week
looking for you
856
00:37:40,724 --> 00:37:42,458
And not
the real mascot.
857
00:37:42,493 --> 00:37:45,628
I told you you were messing
with the wrong Leprechaun.
858
00:37:45,662 --> 00:37:47,597
Okay, well, you're still gonna
tell me where the statue is.
859
00:37:47,631 --> 00:37:49,732
Yeah.
860
00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:52,402
Fine.
Shirewood hotel.
861
00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,137
Room 237.
862
00:37:54,171 --> 00:37:56,706
[ all shouting ]
863
00:37:56,740 --> 00:38:00,109
Guys, thanks,
but we got it.
864
00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:01,844
Damn!
865
00:38:01,879 --> 00:38:05,081
You mean to tell me I signed all
this out the armory for nothing?
866
00:38:05,115 --> 00:38:07,216
Hey, we don't have to take this
back right away, do we?
867
00:38:07,251 --> 00:38:09,318
This is my first shield.
I'm really kind of digging this.
868
00:38:09,353 --> 00:38:11,754
So, uh, am I free to go,
or what?
869
00:38:11,789 --> 00:38:13,189
Yeah.
Get out of here.
870
00:38:24,601 --> 00:38:26,736
Damon: Watch it.
871
00:38:31,742 --> 00:38:34,143
[ irish accent ]
till next year, you jackholes.
872
00:38:34,178 --> 00:38:37,246
[ hums jig ]
873
00:38:38,415 --> 00:38:40,683
[ '80s music plays ]
874
00:38:51,595 --> 00:38:52,728
Hey, guys.
875
00:38:52,763 --> 00:38:54,130
Hey.
876
00:38:54,164 --> 00:38:56,532
This is great.
Thanks.
877
00:38:56,567 --> 00:38:58,868
I know you weren't exactly
thrilled with the last one.
878
00:38:58,902 --> 00:39:00,703
Oh, come on.
879
00:39:00,737 --> 00:39:02,839
You know I support you,
no matter what.
880
00:39:05,275 --> 00:39:07,243
Wow, this is so cool.
Look, look.
881
00:39:07,277 --> 00:39:10,513
I'm referred to as "pledge class
vice president Jason wilson."
882
00:39:10,547 --> 00:39:12,215
Amazing.
883
00:39:12,249 --> 00:39:13,916
Look, Jason,
that was a really great idea --
884
00:39:13,951 --> 00:39:16,252
Luring the Leprechaun out
with junk food.
885
00:39:16,286 --> 00:39:19,322
And I know how bad
you want to be president.
886
00:39:19,356 --> 00:39:21,924
Why don't I resign...
And you take over?
887
00:39:21,959 --> 00:39:23,860
That's why
you're president.
888
00:39:23,894 --> 00:39:25,928
You put the office
ahead of yourself.
889
00:39:25,963 --> 00:39:28,431
I don't think
I'm ready to do that.
890
00:39:28,465 --> 00:39:30,500
You can drive me
to get my shot, right?
891
00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:33,236
Leprechauns
do not have rabies.
892
00:39:33,270 --> 00:39:35,471
That's never
been proven.
893
00:39:35,506 --> 00:39:37,974
Might want to get
a tetanus shot, though.
894
00:39:38,008 --> 00:39:40,576
Why would you put that
in his head?
895
00:39:42,446 --> 00:39:43,713
[ both chuckle ]
896
00:39:45,415 --> 00:39:47,750
Now, let's move
the alumni brunch to Sunday.
897
00:39:47,784 --> 00:39:50,453
I think that'll work out
with all the meetings.
898
00:39:50,487 --> 00:39:51,721
Whoa.
899
00:39:51,755 --> 00:39:54,624
Isn't that
the Holy Dome mascot?
900
00:39:54,658 --> 00:39:57,860
He's got a lot of nerve,
sleeping it off on our campus.
901
00:39:57,895 --> 00:40:00,663
Let's take him back
to the zeta rho house.
902
00:40:00,697 --> 00:40:02,298
We'll be heroes
when people find out
903
00:40:02,332 --> 00:40:03,499
We kidnapped
the Leprechaun.
904
00:40:03,534 --> 00:40:06,802
[ snoring ]
905
00:40:12,009 --> 00:40:14,877
[ mumbling ]
906
00:40:18,282 --> 00:40:21,250
What do you mean,
he got loose?!
907
00:40:21,285 --> 00:40:22,852
He cut the power!
908
00:40:22,886 --> 00:40:25,454
Ow! He bites!
909
00:40:25,489 --> 00:40:27,890
[ Leprechaun laughs ]