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>hello and welcome to "the

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Rachel maddow show."

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[ cheers and applause ]

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I'm rachel maddow, and in a

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Cross-promotion with the new

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"harry potter" movie, my haircut

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Will look ke this forever.

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Joining us today, new republican

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Speaker of the house, john

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Boehner.

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thank you for pronouncing it

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Right.

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You can imagine people have a

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Lot of fun with it.

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speaker of the house nancy

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Pelosi.

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hello, rachel.

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Hello, boner.

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and last but not least, a man

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Recently found guilty of 11

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Ethics violations, charlie

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Rangel.

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I am somewhat innocent.

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john boehner, we start with

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You.

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Your party claims it wants to

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Lower the deficit but don't

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Extending the bush tax cuts to

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The top earners add $700 billion

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To the deficit?

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rachel, on election night the

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American people spoke, and they

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Spoke loudly.

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And the words they spoke were

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Stop the tax hikes and stop the

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Spending.

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but surely you don't think

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You can close the deficit gap

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Solely with cuts in spending.

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rachel, the american people

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Could not have been louder or

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Clearer.

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True story, on election night I

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Was asleep and suddenly I heard

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Voices.

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I went to my window and I opened

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It up.

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It was the voices of the

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American people, and they were

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Saying loudly and in unison like

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A great big quartet, stop the

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Tax hikes and stop the spending.

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so if your only measure to

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Lower the deficit is reducing

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Spending, what are some of the

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Programs that you would be

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Willing to cut?

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on this sadly the american

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People were not clear.

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I yelled from my window,

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American people, what specific

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Programs should we cut?

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Their voices faded away into the

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Night.

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The last thing I heard was,

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"stop the tax hikes!"

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Stop the spending!

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one last question, aren't you

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Glad I didn't mention the color

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Of your face?

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very funny.

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we turn now to the current

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Speaker of the house, nancy

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Pelosi.

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hello, rachel.

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madam speaker, republicans

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Are saying that america spoke in

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The midterm elections, and

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Democrats need to completely

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Change the way they do things.

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and it's such a good point,

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Rachel.

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And I do intend to follow the

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Wonderful example of

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Republicans, who after the 2008

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Election when the democrats took

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The presidency and both houses,

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Completely changed the way they

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Did things.

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I think we all remember how

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Helpful they became.

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So willing to reach across the

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Aisle.

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Oh, wait, I had that backwards.

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They turned into a pack of dogs

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Guarding a turned-over trash

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Can.

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this week you held off a

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Challenge from within your own

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Party for your own leadership

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Position.

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Does that bother you?

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nothing bothers me, rachel.

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That's why I always have the

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Same expression.

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[ laughter ]

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But I want to assure my enemies

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That it will take more than one

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Election to take me down.

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If you want to get rid of nancy

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Pelosi, you'd better be ready to

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Cut off my head and bury it

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Separately from my body.

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nancy pelosi, a woman who

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Always looks like she's watching

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Someone not use a coaster.

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[ laughter ]

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Now the democrat who had the

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Toughest week, charlie rangel.

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Welcome, congressman.

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hello, young man.

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[ laughter ]

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what was your reaction to

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Thursday's censure?

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rachel, I did not deserve

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This treatment.

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I am a 20-term congressman.

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I'm a decorated war hero.

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I was awarded both the bronze

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Star as well as the silver

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Pompadour.

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Yet still I am attacked.

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well, you're under attack for

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Your legal troubles.

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I'd like to make a

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Distinction.

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People keep saying I'm having

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Legal troubles.

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These are ethics violations.

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I did nothing criminal.

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I just did things that were

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Unethical.

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Did I kill someone?

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No.

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Did I lie for the purposes of

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Getting money?

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Perhaps.

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When I say perhaps, do I mean

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Yes?

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I do.

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[ laughter ]

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But I am not a criminal.

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I am just a person that can and

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Should not be trusted.

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charlie rangel, if you lived

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In the old west, he'd be the

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Bartender.

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you got me.

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[ laughter ]

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final thoughts, john boehner?

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excuse me, rachel, it's the

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American people.

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Stop taxes.

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What else?

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Stop spending.

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What spending?

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Hello?

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Hello, you're breaking up.

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Hello.

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I lost him.

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nancy pelosi?

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I'm sorry, rachel, it seems

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My necklace has gone missing.

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john boehner?

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don't look at me.

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charlie rangel?

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[ laughter ]

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Give that back.

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no, thank you.

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Rachel, in closing, I just want

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To say I'm proud to live in a

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Country where a man like charlie

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Rangel can be a congressman and

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A 12-year-old boy like yourself

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Can have his own tv show.

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that's all the time we have.

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And live from new york, it's

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Saturday night!

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[ cheers and applause ]

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It's "Saturday

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Night live"!

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With fred armisen

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Abby elliott

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Bill hader

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Seth meyers

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Bobby moynihan

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Andy samberg

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Jason sudeikis

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Kenan thompson

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Kristen wiig

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Featuring vanessa bayer

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Paul brittain

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Taran killam

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Nasim pedrad

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Jay pharaoh

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Musical guest florence and the

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Machine and your host, anne

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Hathaway!

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Ladies and gentlemen, anne

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Hathaway!

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Captions paid for by
nbc-universal television

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-- <font color="#ffff00">Captions by vitac</font> --
<font color="#00ffff">www.Vitac.Com</font>

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[ cheers and applause ]

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>it's so great to be hosting

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"snl" again.

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Ladies and gentlemen, it's the

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Thanksgiving show!

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[ cheers and applause ]

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All right.

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I'm so excited.

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And because my new movie, "love

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And other drugs," opens

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Wednesday.

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[ cheers and applause ]

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Thank you.

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Thank you.

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This movie, it's a real

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Departure from the kinds of

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Movies that I'm known for in

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That it contains a substantial

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Amount of nudity.

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And I have to say, the press has

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Been all over it.

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I mean, well, here I am with my

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Co-star, jake gyllenhaal on the

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Cover of this week's

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"entertainment weekly."

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And we were also on the cover of

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"jet."

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[ laughter ]

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And children's magazine

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"highlights."

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That was a fun shoot.

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Okay.

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Let me just get this out of the

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Way.

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Yes, it's very nerve-racking to

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Do nude scenes.

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But I believe that if it ensures

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The integrity of the story, an

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Actor should go for it.

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hey, anne, sorry to

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Interrupt.

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it's okay, andy.

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I have a couple changes in

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The boardroom sketch.

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We're putting you in a curlier

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Wig, and we're changing the name

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Of the company to techno tech.

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okay, that's better.

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Yeah.

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and also, we're going to need

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You to be naked.

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oh.

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Um, is it important to the

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Scene?

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it is so important.

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[ laughter ]

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then I'll do it.

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thank you.

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[ laughter ]

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okay.

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Where was I?

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Right.

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Serving the story.

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hey, anne.

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hey, bobby.

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hey.

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How are you?

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what's up?

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in the turkey family sketch,

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We need a few changes.

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You're still going to have the

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Beak and the waddle, but other

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Than that, you're going to be

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Naked.

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oh, like a turkey that's had

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All of her feathers plucked.

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Oh, my gosh, that's hilarious.

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so wait, you'll do it?

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yeah.

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neat!

293
00:09:26,062 --> 00:09:29,498
Andy, it worked!

294
00:09:29,499 --> 00:09:30,966
everyone is so great here.

295
00:09:30,967 --> 00:09:31,867
So anyway, it's a story --

296
00:09:31,868 --> 00:09:34,569
hey, anne.

297
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:35,704
The funeral sketch --

298
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:36,972
get naked?

299
00:09:36,973 --> 00:09:39,174
great minds.

300
00:09:39,175 --> 00:09:41,009
anyway, integrity is probably

301
00:09:41,010 --> 00:09:41,843
My favorite word.

302
00:09:41,844 --> 00:09:44,646
anne, anne, oh, anne.

303
00:09:44,647 --> 00:09:45,547
hi, kristen.

304
00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:46,047
hi.

305
00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:48,817
You don't have to be naked to be

306
00:09:48,818 --> 00:09:50,785
Taken seriously as an actor.

307
00:09:50,786 --> 00:09:51,520
that's not why I do it,

308
00:09:51,521 --> 00:09:53,121
Kristen.

309
00:09:53,122 --> 00:09:55,090
Like I said, it's about the

310
00:09:55,091 --> 00:09:55,624
Craft.

311
00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:56,525
It's about art.

312
00:09:56,526 --> 00:09:57,325
It's about trust.

313
00:09:57,326 --> 00:09:59,427
And I really trust these guys.

314
00:09:59,428 --> 00:10:03,465
[ laughter ]

315
00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:04,866
yeah, you weren't ever going

316
00:10:04,867 --> 00:10:06,368
To get naked, were you?

317
00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:08,770
nah, I wasn't.

318
00:10:08,771 --> 00:10:10,438
I just lied to make them happy.

319
00:10:10,439 --> 00:10:11,273
and that's what thanksgiving

320
00:10:11,274 --> 00:10:11,806
Is all about.

321
00:10:11,807 --> 00:10:16,344
[ laughter ]

322
00:10:16,345 --> 00:10:19,047
it sure is.

323
00:10:19,048 --> 00:10:20,782
We have a great show for you

324
00:10:20,783 --> 00:10:21,149
Tonight.

325
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:22,484
I'm so excited to be hosting

326
00:10:22,485 --> 00:10:22,817
Again.

327
00:10:22,818 --> 00:10:23,518
Florence and the machine is

328
00:10:23,519 --> 00:10:24,853
Here.

329
00:10:24,854 --> 00:10:26,154
[ cheers and applause ]

330
00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:26,588
Stick around.

331
00:10:26,589 --> 00:10:30,458
We'll be right back.

332
00:10:30,459 --> 00:10:33,295
[ cheers and applause ]

333
00:10:33,296 --> 00:10:33,995
>the following is a paid

334
00:10:33,996 --> 00:10:36,631
Advertisement.

335
00:10:36,632 --> 00:10:37,365
feeling lonely this holiday

336
00:10:37,366 --> 00:10:42,270
Season?

337
00:10:42,271 --> 00:10:43,738
Looking for a little

338
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:44,172
Interaction?

339
00:10:44,173 --> 00:10:45,640
do you want to feel compact

340
00:10:45,641 --> 00:10:46,575
In certain special places?

341
00:10:46,576 --> 00:10:47,309
then why not go through

342
00:10:47,310 --> 00:10:50,545
Security at an airport?

343
00:10:50,546 --> 00:10:51,913
the tsa.

344
00:10:51,914 --> 00:10:53,682
tsa agents are ready and

345
00:10:53,683 --> 00:10:55,450
Standing by to give you a little

346
00:10:55,451 --> 00:10:56,518
Something extra to feel thankful

347
00:10:56,519 --> 00:10:58,119
About this holiday season.

348
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:00,322
the tsa.

349
00:11:00,323 --> 00:11:03,592
what are you waiting for?

350
00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:04,292
I want to check under your

351
00:11:04,293 --> 00:11:08,597
Testicles.

352
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:11,833
spending time with the tsa

353
00:11:11,834 --> 00:11:14,102
Agent couldn't be easier.

354
00:11:14,103 --> 00:11:16,237
Simply book a flight departing

355
00:11:16,238 --> 00:11:17,839
From any american airport.

356
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,708
When selected for a full-body

357
00:11:19,709 --> 00:11:20,442
Scanner, say no.

358
00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:23,478
You'll be pulled aside by a tsa

359
00:11:23,479 --> 00:11:24,212
Agent, and that's when the fun

360
00:11:24,213 --> 00:11:26,014
Begins.

361
00:11:26,015 --> 00:11:26,715
And you never know who your

362
00:11:26,716 --> 00:11:28,083
Agent will be.

363
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:29,317
it could be me.

364
00:11:29,318 --> 00:11:30,819
or me.

365
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,855
or even me.

366
00:11:33,856 --> 00:11:34,623
but it's probably going to be

367
00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:37,459
Us.

368
00:11:37,460 --> 00:11:40,729
the tsa.

369
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:41,396
It's our business to touch

370
00:11:41,397 --> 00:11:43,698
Yours.

371
00:11:43,699 --> 00:11:47,902
[ cheers and applause ]

372
00:11:47,903 --> 00:11:49,037
>hey, y'all.

373
00:11:49,038 --> 00:11:51,706
It's "the miley cyrus show" with

374
00:11:51,707 --> 00:11:53,608
Me, miley cyrus.

375
00:11:53,609 --> 00:11:55,276
♪ I got guests and a show ♪

376
00:11:55,277 --> 00:11:58,213
♪ and I'm ready to go ♪

377
00:11:58,214 --> 00:12:01,683
♪ so I guess that's pretty

378
00:12:01,684 --> 00:12:02,050
Cool *

379
00:12:02,051 --> 00:12:04,185
♪ it's pretty cool ♪

380
00:12:04,186 --> 00:12:07,555
[ cheers and applause ]

381
00:12:07,556 --> 00:12:08,523
hello!

382
00:12:08,524 --> 00:12:11,292
It's miley, y'all.

383
00:12:11,293 --> 00:12:12,560
This is my show where I talk to

384
00:12:12,561 --> 00:12:14,062
People that are pretty cool and

385
00:12:14,063 --> 00:12:15,330
Talk about things that are

386
00:12:15,331 --> 00:12:15,764
Pretty cool.

387
00:12:15,765 --> 00:12:19,601
And yes, it's pretty cool.

388
00:12:19,602 --> 00:12:22,070
The miley cyrus band over here,

389
00:12:22,071 --> 00:12:24,606
We've got my dad, billy ray

390
00:12:24,607 --> 00:12:24,939
Cyrus.

391
00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:26,508
miley, it's an honor to share

392
00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:27,242
The stage with my baby girl.

393
00:12:27,243 --> 00:12:29,711
thanks, dad.

394
00:12:29,712 --> 00:12:32,480
Okay.

395
00:12:32,481 --> 00:12:34,582
So I thought I'd do something

396
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:36,184
New in my comedy monologue this

397
00:12:36,185 --> 00:12:36,584
Week.

398
00:12:36,585 --> 00:12:38,653
So this is my little sister,

399
00:12:38,654 --> 00:12:38,987
Smiley.

400
00:12:38,988 --> 00:12:40,689
And she's going to help me with

401
00:12:40,690 --> 00:12:42,290
My comedy monologue.

402
00:12:42,291 --> 00:12:44,159
Hey, smiley, did you know that

403
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,627
The average american woman

404
00:12:45,628 --> 00:12:46,361
Spends 20 hours doing holiday

405
00:12:46,362 --> 00:12:48,863
Shopping?

406
00:12:48,864 --> 00:12:49,431
20 hours?

407
00:12:49,432 --> 00:12:50,832
That's like a full day.

408
00:12:50,833 --> 00:12:53,134
That's crazy.

409
00:12:53,135 --> 00:12:53,468
I know.

410
00:12:53,469 --> 00:12:56,438
It's crazy, right?

411
00:12:56,439 --> 00:12:57,272
That was me doing the voice of

412
00:12:57,273 --> 00:13:03,344
Smiley, y'all.

413
00:13:03,345 --> 00:13:04,312
She's not my sister.

414
00:13:04,313 --> 00:13:06,614
She's actually a puppet.

415
00:13:06,615 --> 00:13:09,117
oh, you had them fooled,

416
00:13:09,118 --> 00:13:09,451
Sweetie.

417
00:13:09,452 --> 00:13:11,152
I talked to smiley for a half

418
00:13:11,153 --> 00:13:11,820
Hour backstage.

419
00:13:11,821 --> 00:13:15,490
I thought she was just shy.

420
00:13:15,491 --> 00:13:16,558
dad, knock it off.

421
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:20,495
Okay.

422
00:13:20,496 --> 00:13:21,296
So as you've probably heard, I'm

423
00:13:21,297 --> 00:13:24,966
Sexy now.

424
00:13:24,967 --> 00:13:27,135
So we're going to do a segment

425
00:13:27,136 --> 00:13:28,103
Now where we show pictures of me

426
00:13:28,104 --> 00:13:30,638
Being sexy.

427
00:13:30,639 --> 00:13:31,673
Like here's one of me getting

428
00:13:31,674 --> 00:13:36,644
Steamy with a male model.

429
00:13:36,645 --> 00:13:38,780
Here's one of me doing, like, a

430
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:42,751
Sexy, flirty wink.

431
00:13:42,752 --> 00:13:44,719
Here's one of me doing a sexy

432
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:45,453
Pose with a snake like britney

433
00:13:45,454 --> 00:13:49,624
Spears.

434
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:51,359
And here's me as sharon stone in

435
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,294
"basic instinct."

436
00:13:53,295 --> 00:13:56,164
[ laughter ]

437
00:13:56,165 --> 00:13:58,933
That's pretty sexy, right?

438
00:13:58,934 --> 00:13:59,501
ooh.

439
00:13:59,502 --> 00:14:03,772
My little girl's growing up.

440
00:14:03,773 --> 00:14:04,506
my guest tonight is a very

441
00:14:04,507 --> 00:14:05,607
Sexy lady.

442
00:14:05,608 --> 00:14:08,076
Just like me.

443
00:14:08,077 --> 00:14:09,244
So please give a big shout-out

444
00:14:09,245 --> 00:14:13,848
To katie holmes.

445
00:14:13,849 --> 00:14:18,253
[ cheers and applause ]

446
00:14:18,254 --> 00:14:20,421
So, katie holmes, you used to be

447
00:14:20,422 --> 00:14:22,757
On a show called "dawson's

448
00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:25,660
Creek" back in the 1900s.

449
00:14:25,661 --> 00:14:27,095
[ laughter ]

450
00:14:27,096 --> 00:14:27,829
So that must have been pretty

451
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:29,164
Cool.

452
00:14:29,165 --> 00:14:36,638
oh, it was -- my character,

453
00:14:36,639 --> 00:14:38,373
Joey, was such a joy to play.

454
00:14:38,374 --> 00:14:39,941
On the surface she just seemed

455
00:14:39,942 --> 00:14:45,113
Like another cute, popular girl.

456
00:14:45,114 --> 00:14:47,515
But to me, she was this

457
00:14:47,516 --> 00:14:48,183
Incredibly complicated and

458
00:14:48,184 --> 00:14:49,617
Intelligent woman.

459
00:14:49,618 --> 00:14:49,984
yeah.

460
00:14:49,985 --> 00:14:53,788
Like me.

461
00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:54,622
So there is something I've

462
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:57,292
Always wanted to ask you.

463
00:14:57,293 --> 00:14:58,660
Like how did you transition into

464
00:14:58,661 --> 00:15:00,128
Doing more adult roles?

465
00:15:00,129 --> 00:15:01,496
And what's the sexiest role

466
00:15:01,497 --> 00:15:02,230
You've ever done?

467
00:15:02,231 --> 00:15:03,498
And like how many boys have you

468
00:15:03,499 --> 00:15:04,365
Kissed on screen?

469
00:15:04,366 --> 00:15:05,967
And like who's your best friend?

470
00:15:05,968 --> 00:15:07,635
And like who's tom cruise's best

471
00:15:07,636 --> 00:15:07,969
Friend?

472
00:15:07,970 --> 00:15:10,405
And why does your baby wear high

473
00:15:10,406 --> 00:15:10,738
Heels?

474
00:15:10,739 --> 00:15:11,506
And what does jesus think of

475
00:15:11,507 --> 00:15:12,707
Scientology?

476
00:15:12,708 --> 00:15:15,476
wow!

477
00:15:15,477 --> 00:15:19,047
That is such an interesting

478
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:22,483
Array of complex questions.

479
00:15:22,484 --> 00:15:23,051
ooh!

480
00:15:23,052 --> 00:15:24,118
Great job, baby.

481
00:15:24,119 --> 00:15:25,019
You're like a pretty little

482
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:28,323
Regis.

483
00:15:28,324 --> 00:15:29,057
dad.

484
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:32,861
you're my role model.

485
00:15:32,862 --> 00:15:35,530
so katie holmes, you played

486
00:15:35,531 --> 00:15:36,898
Batman's girlfriend in the first

487
00:15:36,899 --> 00:15:40,134
Ever batman movie in 2005.

488
00:15:40,135 --> 00:15:41,502
Which is pretty cool.

489
00:15:41,503 --> 00:15:42,770
Because I just auditioned to

490
00:15:42,771 --> 00:15:44,505
Play his girlfriend in the next

491
00:15:44,506 --> 00:15:45,440
Batman movie.

492
00:15:45,441 --> 00:15:46,507
So, like, do you want to see my

493
00:15:46,508 --> 00:15:48,509
Screen test?

494
00:15:48,510 --> 00:15:49,410
sure, okay.

495
00:15:49,411 --> 00:15:52,847
okay, let's roll that clip!

496
00:15:52,848 --> 00:15:55,383
we need to get out of here.

497
00:15:55,384 --> 00:15:56,601
This whole place is going to

498
00:15:56,602 --> 00:15:56,918
Blow.

499
00:15:56,919 --> 00:15:58,970
oh, my god.

500
00:15:58,971 --> 00:16:01,189
This is so scary and

501
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:01,623
Suspenseful.

502
00:16:01,624 --> 00:16:03,207
And I'm in all this danger right

503
00:16:03,208 --> 00:16:03,491
Now.

504
00:16:03,492 --> 00:16:05,093
And you're batman so you're kind

505
00:16:05,094 --> 00:16:06,895
Of like a bat and a hot guy.

506
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,463
You're really sexy and it's

507
00:16:08,464 --> 00:16:10,398
Really scary and it's really

508
00:16:10,399 --> 00:16:12,367
Suspenseful, and I might die.

509
00:16:12,368 --> 00:16:15,069
[ cheers and applause ]

510
00:16:15,070 --> 00:16:18,239
so what do you think?

511
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:18,740
yeah.

512
00:16:18,741 --> 00:16:28,249
There's a lot of -- interesting

513
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:30,718
Complexity there.

514
00:16:30,719 --> 00:16:31,786
and the oscar goes to my baby

515
00:16:31,787 --> 00:16:35,123
Girl!

516
00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:38,660
I mean, you melt my heart, my

517
00:16:38,661 --> 00:16:40,795
Achy breaky heart.

518
00:16:40,796 --> 00:16:42,664
well, that's our show.

519
00:16:42,665 --> 00:16:44,632
My thanks to katie holmes.

520
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:47,936
thank you.

521
00:16:47,937 --> 00:16:52,507
The pleasure was --

522
00:16:52,508 --> 00:16:55,176
okay.

523
00:16:55,177 --> 00:16:56,811
Thanks for watching, y'all.

524
00:16:56,812 --> 00:16:58,880
Come on, dad.

525
00:16:58,881 --> 00:16:59,380
Let's do our song.

526
00:16:59,381 --> 00:17:01,683
yeah.

527
00:17:01,684 --> 00:17:04,786
♪ I got guests and a show ♪

528
00:17:04,787 --> 00:17:06,955
♪ and we're ready to go ♪

529
00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:10,391
♪ so I guess that's pretty

530
00:17:10,392 --> 00:17:10,758
Cool *

531
00:17:10,759 --> 00:17:12,961
♪ it's pretty cool ♪

532
00:17:12,962 --> 00:17:16,297
[ cheers and applause ]

533
00:17:37,837 --> 00:17:38,904
>hi, everyone.

534
00:17:38,905 --> 00:17:40,039
I just want to thank you so much

535
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:43,042
For volunteering at st. Angel's

536
00:17:43,043 --> 00:17:44,309
Thanksgiving soup kitchen.

537
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:46,145
These dinners are so fun.

538
00:17:46,146 --> 00:17:49,381
Last year we ate and laughed and

539
00:17:49,382 --> 00:17:49,748
Partied.

540
00:17:49,749 --> 00:17:51,250
And we didn't get out of here

541
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,051
Until, like, 8:30.

542
00:17:52,052 --> 00:17:56,588
I'm talking p.M.

543
00:17:56,589 --> 00:17:58,657
I'm lisa, and it's my first

544
00:17:58,658 --> 00:17:59,358
Time doing this.

545
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:00,125
I'm excited.

546
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:00,893
and I'm lou.

547
00:18:00,894 --> 00:18:02,161
And seeing all of these

548
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:03,295
Wonderful faces here today, it

549
00:18:03,296 --> 00:18:04,229
Really warms my heart.

550
00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:07,466
it warms my heart, too.

551
00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,268
Mine's burning a lot, though.

552
00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:11,203
It's like a little fire in my

553
00:18:11,204 --> 00:18:11,503
Bra.

554
00:18:11,504 --> 00:18:16,709
Can't say the pledge of

555
00:18:16,710 --> 00:18:18,844
Allegiance or I'll burn my hand.

556
00:18:18,845 --> 00:18:19,945
as I was saying, thanksgiving

557
00:18:19,946 --> 00:18:22,514
Is a special time for me.

558
00:18:22,515 --> 00:18:25,317
An interesting fact, thanks to

559
00:18:25,318 --> 00:18:26,085
Ancestry.Com, I just found out

560
00:18:26,086 --> 00:18:27,853
That I had relatives come over

561
00:18:27,854 --> 00:18:29,621
On the mayflower.

562
00:18:29,622 --> 00:18:31,890
my relatives came over on the

563
00:18:31,891 --> 00:18:32,791
April flower.

564
00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:33,525
They got here one month before

565
00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:34,026
Yours did.

566
00:18:34,027 --> 00:18:35,227
all right.

567
00:18:35,228 --> 00:18:35,961
Good to know.

568
00:18:35,962 --> 00:18:37,996
Ooh.

569
00:18:37,997 --> 00:18:39,131
I can see that people are

570
00:18:39,132 --> 00:18:39,765
Starting to arrive.

571
00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:41,166
I'm going to open the doors.

572
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:43,035
And everybody, let's get our

573
00:18:43,036 --> 00:18:55,881
Aprons on.

574
00:18:55,882 --> 00:18:57,850
come on in.

575
00:18:57,851 --> 00:18:59,585
Come on in.

576
00:18:59,586 --> 00:19:01,520
Happy thanksgiving.

577
00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:02,855
Happy turkey day.

578
00:19:02,856 --> 00:19:04,022
happy thanksgiving.

579
00:19:04,023 --> 00:19:05,657
Happy fourth of July.

580
00:19:05,658 --> 00:19:07,593
I hope you get to see a lot of

581
00:19:07,594 --> 00:19:08,260
Fireworks because you live

582
00:19:08,261 --> 00:19:10,896
Outside.

583
00:19:10,897 --> 00:19:12,531
I think I got this covered.

584
00:19:12,532 --> 00:19:13,365
Why don't you go over there and

585
00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:16,902
Help with the corn.

586
00:19:16,903 --> 00:19:18,203
mashed potatoes?

587
00:19:18,204 --> 00:19:20,472
yes, please.

588
00:19:20,473 --> 00:19:21,039
They're my favorite.

589
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,307
then maybe I can sneak you a

590
00:19:22,308 --> 00:19:23,108
Little extra.

591
00:19:23,109 --> 00:19:23,776
I'll sneak you a little

592
00:19:23,777 --> 00:19:27,079
Extra, too.

593
00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:27,980
wow, I am thankful for you,

594
00:19:27,981 --> 00:19:30,682
Lady.

595
00:19:30,683 --> 00:19:31,416
penelope, with a are you

596
00:19:31,417 --> 00:19:34,219
Doing?

597
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:34,987
You can't give that much corn to

598
00:19:34,988 --> 00:19:35,387
One person.

599
00:19:35,388 --> 00:19:35,921
Here.

600
00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:36,622
well, don't be so hard on

601
00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,090
Her.

602
00:19:38,091 --> 00:19:39,792
She means well.

603
00:19:39,793 --> 00:19:40,659
fine.

604
00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:41,393
Just don't bring out any more

605
00:19:41,394 --> 00:19:44,296
Big silverware, okay?

606
00:19:44,297 --> 00:19:45,097
Pastor mike, it's so good to see

607
00:19:45,098 --> 00:19:45,998
You.

608
00:19:45,999 --> 00:19:47,666
happy thanksgiving, everyone.

609
00:19:47,667 --> 00:19:48,400
Wow, look at all these turkeys.

610
00:19:48,401 --> 00:19:51,203
And there's food here, too.

611
00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:54,239
oh, pastor mike,

612
00:19:54,240 --> 00:19:55,374
You tell the best jokes.

613
00:19:55,375 --> 00:19:56,008
I tell good jokes, too.

614
00:19:56,009 --> 00:19:58,210
I tell better ones.

615
00:19:58,211 --> 00:19:58,944
Did you hear about the peanut

616
00:19:58,945 --> 00:20:02,881
That went into central park, and

617
00:20:02,882 --> 00:20:06,385
It was assaulted.

618
00:20:06,386 --> 00:20:07,085
That's my time.

619
00:20:07,086 --> 00:20:09,188
You've been a great crowd.

620
00:20:09,189 --> 00:20:12,224
pastor mike, I saved you a

621
00:20:12,225 --> 00:20:12,591
Drumstick.

622
00:20:12,592 --> 00:20:13,959
don't mind if I do.

623
00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:15,594
Come by to my family.

624
00:20:15,595 --> 00:20:16,929
The whole family's here, all

625
00:20:16,930 --> 00:20:17,863
Three of us.

626
00:20:17,864 --> 00:20:20,265
my family's here, too.

627
00:20:20,266 --> 00:20:20,999
It's bigger than yours.

628
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:26,538
They're right over there.

629
00:20:26,539 --> 00:20:27,105
excuse me, mary.

630
00:20:27,106 --> 00:20:27,973
Some of people are wondering if

631
00:20:27,974 --> 00:20:28,707
We can turn up the volume on the

632
00:20:28,708 --> 00:20:29,007
Game.

633
00:20:29,008 --> 00:20:29,508
oh, of course.

634
00:20:29,509 --> 00:20:30,175
That's no problem at all.

635
00:20:30,176 --> 00:20:31,376
I'd be happy to do that.

636
00:20:31,377 --> 00:20:33,879
I'm already doing it, so I'm

637
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:34,646
Going to turn it up a little

638
00:20:34,647 --> 00:20:37,282
Louder than you would have.

639
00:20:37,283 --> 00:20:40,285
if pastor mike wasn't here,

640
00:20:40,286 --> 00:20:40,919
I'd kick that girl in the

641
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:41,420
Giblets.

642
00:20:41,421 --> 00:20:42,154
oh, she's just trying to be

643
00:20:42,155 --> 00:20:44,723
Helpful.

644
00:20:44,724 --> 00:20:46,959
oh, that's the longest drive

645
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,293
I've ever seen.

646
00:20:48,294 --> 00:20:48,861
What's he doing?

647
00:20:48,862 --> 00:20:51,196
No one's in the end zone.

648
00:20:51,197 --> 00:20:52,831
who is that?

649
00:20:52,832 --> 00:20:53,131
me.

650
00:20:53,132 --> 00:20:53,565
I caught it.

651
00:20:53,566 --> 00:20:58,704
Thank you.

652
00:20:58,705 --> 00:21:00,138
what is happening?

653
00:21:00,139 --> 00:21:00,772
does anyone want this

654
00:21:00,773 --> 00:21:01,139
Football?

655
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:01,707
I can't play anymore.

656
00:21:01,708 --> 00:21:02,407
I just tested positive for

657
00:21:02,408 --> 00:21:02,975
Steroids.

658
00:21:02,976 --> 00:21:04,943
[ laughter ]

659
00:21:04,944 --> 00:21:05,644
she is ruining this entire

660
00:21:05,645 --> 00:21:06,678
Day.

661
00:21:06,679 --> 00:21:07,346
She's acting like she's the

662
00:21:07,347 --> 00:21:08,680
Queen of thanksgiving.

663
00:21:08,681 --> 00:21:09,248
I am the queen of

664
00:21:09,249 --> 00:21:10,949
Thanksgiving.

665
00:21:10,950 --> 00:21:14,620
[ laughter ]

666
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:15,354
I now dub the sir waddle of

667
00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:16,021
Gobble, so congratulations.

668
00:21:16,022 --> 00:21:16,421
[ laughter ]

669
00:21:16,422 --> 00:21:17,189
really?

670
00:21:17,190 --> 00:21:20,359
Penelope, really?

671
00:21:20,360 --> 00:21:21,760
You're the queen of

672
00:21:21,761 --> 00:21:25,898
Thanksgiving?

673
00:21:25,899 --> 00:21:27,032
I'm the president of wednesdays.

674
00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:27,633
And you know what else?

675
00:21:27,634 --> 00:21:28,734
I drive a tanning bed to work.

676
00:21:28,735 --> 00:21:29,434
And if I clap three times, a

677
00:21:29,435 --> 00:21:29,968
Wiener dog appears.

678
00:21:29,969 --> 00:21:30,702
And my dad is a chocolate chip.

679
00:21:30,703 --> 00:21:31,303
And you know what else?

680
00:21:31,304 --> 00:21:32,704
If I want to relax, I turn

681
00:21:32,705 --> 00:21:38,977
Myself into a pot of soup, so

682
00:21:38,978 --> 00:21:39,811
[ laughter ]

683
00:21:39,812 --> 00:21:40,679
well, I guess all I can say

684
00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,813
Is that my tanning bed drives me

685
00:21:41,814 --> 00:21:42,547
To work so I can read the paper

686
00:21:42,548 --> 00:21:43,215
And have my coffee.

687
00:21:43,216 --> 00:21:44,383
[ laughter ]

688
00:21:44,384 --> 00:21:45,250
And if I clap twice, all the

689
00:21:45,251 --> 00:21:45,984
Dogs in the world get an extra

690
00:21:45,985 --> 00:21:46,351
Wiener.

691
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:48,053
[ laughter ]

692
00:21:48,054 --> 00:21:49,187
My dad is a chocolate chip

693
00:21:49,188 --> 00:21:49,888
Cookie, so your dad is baked

694
00:21:49,889 --> 00:21:50,923
Inside him.

695
00:21:50,924 --> 00:21:53,191
[ laughter ]

696
00:21:53,192 --> 00:21:56,395
And when I want to relax, I just

697
00:21:56,396 --> 00:21:58,730
Shrink into a pot

698
00:21:58,731 --> 00:21:59,431
Of soup, and float around and

699
00:21:59,432 --> 00:22:00,165
Use the celery stick as a raft

700
00:22:00,166 --> 00:22:00,832
And the noodles as a slide.

701
00:22:00,833 --> 00:22:01,600
[ laughter ]

702
00:22:01,601 --> 00:22:05,304
oh!

703
00:22:05,305 --> 00:22:13,345
Why am I wasting my time?

704
00:22:13,346 --> 00:22:15,347
try to have some food and

705
00:22:15,348 --> 00:22:15,647
Relax.

706
00:22:15,648 --> 00:22:16,348
mary, I think we have a

707
00:22:16,349 --> 00:22:17,049
Situation over here.

708
00:22:17,050 --> 00:22:20,552
happy thanksgiving.

709
00:22:20,553 --> 00:22:25,457
[ cheers and applause ]

710
00:22:25,458 --> 00:22:26,391
I'm thankful for a little

711
00:22:26,392 --> 00:22:28,160
More than you.

712
00:22:28,161 --> 00:22:31,463
Happy turkey day.

713
00:23:09,081 --> 00:23:09,714
>hello, grandmama.

714
00:23:09,715 --> 00:23:12,817
Hello grandpapa.

715
00:23:12,818 --> 00:23:15,687
hello.

716
00:23:15,688 --> 00:23:18,222
hello, my dear boy.

717
00:23:18,223 --> 00:23:18,956
of course, you remember my

718
00:23:18,957 --> 00:23:19,524
Girlfriend, katherine.

719
00:23:19,525 --> 00:23:22,193
it's a pleasure to see you

720
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:22,827
Again, your majesties.

721
00:23:22,828 --> 00:23:23,594
yes, yes.

722
00:23:23,595 --> 00:23:24,462
I want you to be the first to

723
00:23:24,463 --> 00:23:25,897
Know that we are to be wed.

724
00:23:25,898 --> 00:23:31,002
katherine, we welcome to your

725
00:23:31,003 --> 00:23:31,736
Family with open arms and open

726
00:23:31,737 --> 00:23:32,136
Hearts.

727
00:23:32,137 --> 00:23:32,704
thank you.

728
00:23:32,705 --> 00:23:34,405
I love your grandson very much.

729
00:23:34,406 --> 00:23:36,974
And I'm honored to join the

730
00:23:36,975 --> 00:23:38,976
Windsor family, your majesty.

731
00:23:38,977 --> 00:23:39,677
I beg your pardon, prince

732
00:23:39,678 --> 00:23:43,614
William, telephone call for you.

733
00:23:43,615 --> 00:23:44,849
well, I'm only be a moment.

734
00:23:44,850 --> 00:23:47,385
Do chat until I return.

735
00:23:47,386 --> 00:23:50,555
your majesties, william and I

736
00:23:50,556 --> 00:23:51,689
Have been walking on air.

737
00:23:51,690 --> 00:23:52,356
It's all so brilliant and

738
00:23:52,357 --> 00:23:52,790
Exciting.

739
00:23:52,791 --> 00:23:56,227
shut up.

740
00:23:56,228 --> 00:23:57,929
what?

741
00:23:57,930 --> 00:24:00,498
I said shut your mouth.

742
00:24:00,499 --> 00:24:03,334
what do you want?

743
00:24:03,335 --> 00:24:04,469
I'm sorry, your majesty, what

744
00:24:04,470 --> 00:24:13,010
Do I want?

745
00:24:13,011 --> 00:24:13,644
we know what you want.

746
00:24:13,645 --> 00:24:14,445
You see our setup here.

747
00:24:14,446 --> 00:24:15,012
You like it.

748
00:24:15,013 --> 00:24:16,981
Yeah, little girl.

749
00:24:16,982 --> 00:24:17,715
fruits on platters, guys in

750
00:24:17,716 --> 00:24:18,382
White gloves serving us tea.

751
00:24:18,383 --> 00:24:19,117
you think you can show up,

752
00:24:19,118 --> 00:24:20,418
Take over.

753
00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:21,185
Do a big of queening and that,

754
00:24:21,186 --> 00:24:21,853
Right?

755
00:24:21,854 --> 00:24:23,254
uh, I beg your pardon, your

756
00:24:23,255 --> 00:24:23,955
Majesty, but why are you two

757
00:24:23,956 --> 00:24:25,256
Talking like that?

758
00:24:25,257 --> 00:24:26,090
this is how we really talk,

759
00:24:26,091 --> 00:24:28,960
Love.

760
00:24:28,961 --> 00:24:30,661
Not so nice, right?

761
00:24:30,662 --> 00:24:31,496
But it gets the job done, don't

762
00:24:31,497 --> 00:24:36,434
It?

763
00:24:36,435 --> 00:24:39,971
your majesty, I promise I

764
00:24:39,972 --> 00:24:40,471
Don't want that.

765
00:24:40,472 --> 00:24:42,140
I want william.

766
00:24:42,141 --> 00:24:44,142
well, if you're going to be

767
00:24:44,143 --> 00:24:44,909
Part of the family, you've got

768
00:24:44,910 --> 00:24:46,277
To know the rules.

769
00:24:46,278 --> 00:24:46,911
oh, your majesty, your

770
00:24:46,912 --> 00:24:47,612
Secretary briefed me on all

771
00:24:47,613 --> 00:24:48,079
Royal etiquette.

772
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:48,813
I'm not talking about salad

773
00:24:48,814 --> 00:24:49,247
Forks, love.

774
00:24:49,248 --> 00:24:49,881
This ain't "the princess

775
00:24:49,882 --> 00:24:54,719
Diaries."

776
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,788
that's right.

777
00:24:56,789 --> 00:25:00,491
Because that movie's crap.

778
00:25:00,492 --> 00:25:03,661
I think it has its moments.

779
00:25:03,662 --> 00:25:05,563
What rule are you talking about,

780
00:25:05,564 --> 00:25:07,598
Your majesty?

781
00:25:07,599 --> 00:25:10,268
first off, when it comes to a

782
00:25:10,269 --> 00:25:10,968
Palace, don't start out with

783
00:25:10,969 --> 00:25:16,240
Questions.

784
00:25:16,241 --> 00:25:17,542
Never forget that we are in

785
00:25:17,543 --> 00:25:18,843
Charge here, yeah?

786
00:25:18,844 --> 00:25:19,877
You see that rope over there.

787
00:25:19,878 --> 00:25:26,150
Pull the rope.

788
00:25:26,151 --> 00:25:28,719
yes, your majesty.

789
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:30,221
piss off.

790
00:25:30,222 --> 00:25:34,025
yes, your majesty.

791
00:25:34,026 --> 00:25:36,127
majesty, why did you call

792
00:25:36,128 --> 00:25:38,229
Them in just to tell them to

793
00:25:38,230 --> 00:25:40,431
Piss off?

794
00:25:40,432 --> 00:25:42,233
because we do whatever we

795
00:25:42,234 --> 00:25:47,038
Want.

796
00:25:47,039 --> 00:25:48,940
that was the first time I had

797
00:25:48,941 --> 00:25:51,108
Ever met sir winston churchill.

798
00:25:51,109 --> 00:25:54,078
so sorry, grandmama.

799
00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:55,146
Seems as though there was

800
00:25:55,147 --> 00:25:57,515
Trouble with prince harry.

801
00:25:57,516 --> 00:25:59,884
He was overserved and ended up

802
00:25:59,885 --> 00:26:00,551
Crashing his car.

803
00:26:00,552 --> 00:26:02,453
how dreadful.

804
00:26:02,454 --> 00:26:03,888
William, we're just getting to

805
00:26:03,889 --> 00:26:05,857
Another dear katherine.

806
00:26:05,858 --> 00:26:07,792
kate, grandmama has never

807
00:26:07,793 --> 00:26:08,626
Taken to anyone like this.

808
00:26:08,627 --> 00:26:08,993
What joy.

809
00:26:08,994 --> 00:26:14,532
I'll be back.

810
00:26:14,533 --> 00:26:15,666
nice little bloke, isn't he?

811
00:26:15,667 --> 00:26:17,869
Used to be better looking, but

812
00:26:17,870 --> 00:26:19,370
Still.

813
00:26:19,371 --> 00:26:20,504
your majesty --

814
00:26:20,505 --> 00:26:21,239
now, drop the "your majesty"

815
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:21,539
Crap.

816
00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:24,308
Call me debra.

817
00:26:24,309 --> 00:26:25,309
all right.

818
00:26:25,310 --> 00:26:28,045
Debra.

819
00:26:28,046 --> 00:26:28,546
a clever girl.

820
00:26:28,547 --> 00:26:31,315
That's good.

821
00:26:31,316 --> 00:26:33,251
when you're out there waving

822
00:26:33,252 --> 00:26:35,486
To a parade, you'll be princess

823
00:26:35,487 --> 00:26:36,988
Di, you'll be princess grace,

824
00:26:36,989 --> 00:26:37,822
But when you're in the bedroom,

825
00:26:37,823 --> 00:26:40,758
Think fergie.

826
00:26:40,759 --> 00:26:41,726
that's horrible.

827
00:26:41,727 --> 00:26:42,493
we're horrible people, aren't

828
00:26:42,494 --> 00:26:46,998
We?

829
00:26:46,999 --> 00:26:47,698
I've got to get away from

830
00:26:47,699 --> 00:26:48,266
You.

831
00:26:48,267 --> 00:26:49,767
no, you can't get

832
00:26:49,768 --> 00:26:50,434
Away from here, I'm on the

833
00:26:50,435 --> 00:26:50,868
Money.

834
00:26:50,869 --> 00:26:53,738
the money.

835
00:26:53,739 --> 00:26:56,607
william!

836
00:26:56,608 --> 00:26:57,441
oh, that is why we ride in a

837
00:26:57,442 --> 00:27:01,145
Carriage.

838
00:27:01,146 --> 00:27:01,913
sorry grandmama, but kate and

839
00:27:01,914 --> 00:27:02,513
I have to give a press

840
00:27:02,514 --> 00:27:03,114
Conference now.

841
00:27:03,115 --> 00:27:05,116
Let's go my love.

842
00:27:05,117 --> 00:27:06,250
wonderful getting to know you

843
00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:08,519
My dear.

844
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:11,389
yes, please call again soon.

845
00:27:11,390 --> 00:27:16,627
good-bye, your maj --

846
00:27:16,628 --> 00:27:22,133
Good-bye, debra.

847
00:27:22,134 --> 00:27:23,034
I'll bet I could kick your

848
00:27:23,035 --> 00:27:26,504
Ass.

849
00:27:26,505 --> 00:27:28,706
[ cheers and applause ]

850
00:27:47,679 --> 00:27:48,312
>ladies and gentlemen,

851
00:27:48,313 --> 00:27:49,180
Florence and the machine.

852
00:27:49,181 --> 00:27:51,115
[ cheers and applause ]

853
00:27:53,752 --> 00:27:56,587
♪ happiness hit her

854
00:27:56,588 --> 00:28:03,694
Like a train on a track

855
00:28:03,695 --> 00:28:05,129
Coming towards her

856
00:28:05,130 --> 00:28:17,074
Stuck still no turning back *

857
00:28:17,075 --> 00:28:20,745
♪ she hid around corners

858
00:28:20,746 --> 00:28:24,749
And she hid under beds

859
00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:27,051
She killed it with kisses

860
00:28:27,052 --> 00:28:30,721
And from it she fled *

861
00:28:30,722 --> 00:28:34,125
♪ with every bubble

862
00:28:34,126 --> 00:28:36,994
She sank with her drink

863
00:28:36,995 --> 00:28:40,097
And washed it away

864
00:28:40,098 --> 00:28:43,234
Down the kitchen sink *

865
00:28:43,235 --> 00:28:46,637
♪ the dog days are over

866
00:28:46,638 --> 00:28:50,908
The dog days are done

867
00:28:50,909 --> 00:28:52,910
The horses are coming

868
00:28:52,911 --> 00:28:57,715
So you better run *

869
00:28:57,716 --> 00:28:58,582
♪ run fast for your mother

870
00:28:58,583 --> 00:29:00,851
Run fast for your father

871
00:29:00,852 --> 00:29:03,420
Run for your children

872
00:29:03,421 --> 00:29:05,389
For your sisters *

873
00:29:05,390 --> 00:29:10,528
♪ and brothers

874
00:29:10,529 --> 00:29:11,962
Leave all your loving

875
00:29:11,963 --> 00:29:13,964
Your loving behind

876
00:29:13,965 --> 00:29:14,799
You can't carry it with you *

877
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:15,966
♪ if you want to survive

878
00:29:15,967 --> 00:29:16,801
The dog days are over

879
00:29:16,802 --> 00:29:17,635
The dog days are done

880
00:29:17,636 --> 00:29:18,803
Can you hear the horses? *

881
00:29:18,804 --> 00:29:34,151
♪ 'cause here they come

882
00:29:34,152 --> 00:29:37,855
And I never wanted

883
00:29:37,856 --> 00:29:42,693
Anything from you

884
00:29:42,694 --> 00:29:49,800
Except everything *

885
00:29:49,801 --> 00:29:56,607
♪ you had and what was left

886
00:29:56,608 --> 00:29:58,042
After that too, oh

887
00:29:58,043 --> 00:30:00,878
Happiness hit her

888
00:30:00,879 --> 00:30:09,420
Like a bullet in the head *

889
00:30:09,421 --> 00:30:12,256
♪ struck from a great height

890
00:30:12,257 --> 00:30:15,092
By someone

891
00:30:15,093 --> 00:30:16,794
Who should know better

892
00:30:16,795 --> 00:30:22,766
Than that *

893
00:30:22,767 --> 00:30:24,768
♪ the dog days are over

894
00:30:24,769 --> 00:30:27,605
The dog days are done

895
00:30:27,606 --> 00:30:33,611
Can you hear the horses?

896
00:30:33,612 --> 00:30:45,756
'cause here they come *

897
00:30:46,958 --> 00:30:48,092
♪

898
00:30:48,093 --> 00:30:49,226
♪ run fast for your mother

899
00:30:49,227 --> 00:30:50,094
Run fast for your father

900
00:30:50,095 --> 00:30:52,930
Run for your children

901
00:30:52,931 --> 00:30:54,365
For your sisters *

902
00:30:54,366 --> 00:30:54,932
♪ and brothers

903
00:30:54,933 --> 00:30:55,799
Leave all your loving

904
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:56,367
Your loving behind

905
00:30:56,368 --> 00:30:57,201
You can't carry it with you *

906
00:30:57,202 --> 00:30:59,470
♪ if you want to survive

907
00:30:59,471 --> 00:31:03,173
The dog days are over

908
00:31:03,174 --> 00:31:06,010
The dog days are done

909
00:31:06,011 --> 00:31:09,146
Can you hear the horses? *

910
00:31:09,147 --> 00:31:12,283
♪ 'cause here they come

911
00:31:12,284 --> 00:31:15,119
Here they come

912
00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:22,226
Here they come

913
00:31:22,227 --> 00:31:30,467
Here they come *

914
00:31:30,468 --> 00:31:41,278
♪ here they come ♪

915
00:31:41,279 --> 00:31:44,048
[ cheers and applause ]

916
00:32:19,686 --> 00:32:20,419
"weekend update

917
00:32:20,420 --> 00:32:20,953
With seth meyers."

918
00:32:20,954 --> 00:32:21,554
[ cheers and applause ]

919
00:32:24,555 --> 00:32:25,054
>good evening.

920
00:32:25,055 --> 00:32:25,788
I'm seth meyers, and here are

921
00:32:25,789 --> 00:32:27,757
Tonight's top stories.

922
00:32:27,758 --> 00:32:29,492
>this year marks the first

923
00:32:29,493 --> 00:32:30,894
Thanksgiving in which travelers

924
00:32:30,895 --> 00:32:32,896
Will get molested before they

925
00:32:32,897 --> 00:32:34,030
Get to their uncle's house.

926
00:32:34,031 --> 00:32:40,069
[ laughter ]

927
00:32:40,070 --> 00:32:41,638
Has anyone handled your bags?

928
00:32:41,639 --> 00:32:43,306
Yes, you right now.

929
00:32:43,307 --> 00:32:44,174
You know, if I wanted somebody

930
00:32:44,175 --> 00:32:47,110
Half-heartedly patting my groin

931
00:32:47,111 --> 00:32:47,810
Without eye contact, I'd get

932
00:32:47,811 --> 00:32:48,878
Married.

933
00:32:48,879 --> 00:32:50,880
[ laughter ]

934
00:32:50,881 --> 00:32:52,582
The tsa did say Tuesday that

935
00:32:52,583 --> 00:32:53,716
Children going through airport

936
00:32:53,717 --> 00:32:54,851
Security will no longer be

937
00:32:54,852 --> 00:32:56,853
Subject to the aggressive

938
00:32:56,854 --> 00:32:57,720
Pat-downs that have angered many

939
00:32:57,721 --> 00:32:59,422
Adult passengers.

940
00:32:59,423 --> 00:33:00,256
Said terrorists, loophole!

941
00:33:00,257 --> 00:33:06,229
[ laughter ]

942
00:33:06,230 --> 00:33:07,096
>the british royal family

943
00:33:07,097 --> 00:33:08,498
Announced Tuesday that prince

944
00:33:08,499 --> 00:33:09,666
William is engaged to his

945
00:33:09,667 --> 00:33:11,067
Longtime girlfriend,

946
00:33:11,068 --> 00:33:12,502
Kate middleton.

947
00:33:12,503 --> 00:33:13,636
"well, there goes my chance,"

948
00:33:13,637 --> 00:33:14,470
Said a lady in ohio to her cat.

949
00:33:14,471 --> 00:33:19,609
[ laughter ]

950
00:33:19,610 --> 00:33:20,443
>the house ethics panel on

951
00:33:20,444 --> 00:33:21,144
Tuesday found representative

952
00:33:21,145 --> 00:33:22,445
Charles rangel guilty on

953
00:33:22,446 --> 00:33:23,880
11 counts of breaking house

954
00:33:23,881 --> 00:33:27,584
Rules, and one count of

955
00:33:27,585 --> 00:33:28,184
Impersonating the lorax.

956
00:33:28,185 --> 00:33:37,594
[ laughter ]

957
00:33:37,595 --> 00:33:37,827
Inchsz

958
00:33:39,597 --> 00:33:41,531
>thanksgiving is next week.

959
00:33:41,532 --> 00:33:43,933
Here with some cooking tips is

960
00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:51,841
The food network's guy cietti.

961
00:33:51,842 --> 00:33:52,408
yeah!

962
00:33:52,409 --> 00:33:52,709
Whoo!

963
00:33:52,710 --> 00:33:53,276
Seth meyers!

964
00:33:53,277 --> 00:33:53,843
Setting fires.

965
00:33:53,844 --> 00:33:54,410
[ laughter ]

966
00:33:54,411 --> 00:33:54,978
I don't set fires.

967
00:33:54,979 --> 00:33:55,645
it's on like donkey kong.

968
00:33:55,646 --> 00:33:57,347
[ laughter ]

969
00:33:57,348 --> 00:33:58,548
okay.

970
00:33:58,549 --> 00:33:59,249
Look, why don't we just get

971
00:33:59,250 --> 00:33:59,682
Started.

972
00:33:59,683 --> 00:34:01,684
good call, meatball.

973
00:34:01,685 --> 00:34:02,085
All right.

974
00:34:02,086 --> 00:34:05,088
Let's get down to business.

975
00:34:05,089 --> 00:34:06,522
Are you tired of the boring old

976
00:34:06,523 --> 00:34:09,859
T-day grubbing?

977
00:34:09,860 --> 00:34:12,862
Well, buckle up, put your

978
00:34:12,863 --> 00:34:15,231
Sunglasses on wrong and let me

979
00:34:15,232 --> 00:34:17,500
Help you make it full throttle.

980
00:34:17,501 --> 00:34:18,067
[ laughter ]

981
00:34:18,068 --> 00:34:19,235
Numero one.

982
00:34:19,236 --> 00:34:21,204
Stuffing, fieri style.

983
00:34:21,205 --> 00:34:25,308
Super simple to make.

984
00:34:25,309 --> 00:34:27,977
Four cups pancake chunks, one

985
00:34:27,978 --> 00:34:29,846
Candy apple whip stick and a

986
00:34:29,847 --> 00:34:32,815
Quarter cup of raisins and

987
00:34:32,816 --> 00:34:33,449
32 tablespoons of tequila

988
00:34:33,450 --> 00:34:34,050
Infused garlic butter.

989
00:34:34,051 --> 00:34:35,652
[ laughter ]

990
00:34:35,653 --> 00:34:37,920
sounds kind of heavy.

991
00:34:37,921 --> 00:34:38,655
don't knock it til you fry

992
00:34:38,656 --> 00:34:39,956
It, seth.

993
00:34:39,957 --> 00:34:41,057
I'm roughing up your stuffing.

994
00:34:41,058 --> 00:34:42,191
Ha ha!

995
00:34:42,192 --> 00:34:43,326
Mmm!

996
00:34:43,327 --> 00:34:44,193
I could eat this off a

997
00:34:44,194 --> 00:34:45,028
Flip-flop.

998
00:34:45,029 --> 00:34:48,564
[ laughter ]

999
00:34:48,565 --> 00:34:49,465
Full throttle!

1000
00:34:49,466 --> 00:34:50,867
Chow down, seth hound.

1001
00:34:50,868 --> 00:34:51,434
no, I'm good.

1002
00:34:51,435 --> 00:34:54,003
So, what's next?

1003
00:34:54,004 --> 00:34:54,871
number dos.

1004
00:34:54,872 --> 00:34:56,272
Cranberry sauce.

1005
00:34:56,273 --> 00:35:00,276
An old favorite.

1006
00:35:00,277 --> 00:35:01,411
But let's take it even further

1007
00:35:01,412 --> 00:35:05,381
Off the hook.

1008
00:35:05,382 --> 00:35:07,116
Just spork it out of the can

1009
00:35:07,117 --> 00:35:08,518
Into a fifth of rumple minze and

1010
00:35:08,519 --> 00:35:11,654
Garnish with raisins.

1011
00:35:11,655 --> 00:35:12,322
can you even taste the

1012
00:35:12,323 --> 00:35:15,058
Cranberry?

1013
00:35:15,059 --> 00:35:18,194
trust me, you'll go lansbury

1014
00:35:18,195 --> 00:35:19,896
For this cranberry, because it's

1015
00:35:19,897 --> 00:35:22,999
Dinner, she wrote.

1016
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:23,733
I'd eat this off a moving truck

1017
00:35:23,734 --> 00:35:24,434
Tire.

1018
00:35:24,435 --> 00:35:29,038
[ laughter ]

1019
00:35:29,039 --> 00:35:30,640
no, thanks.

1020
00:35:30,641 --> 00:35:32,108
That sounds like it's, like, 80%

1021
00:35:32,109 --> 00:35:33,476
Alcohol.

1022
00:35:33,477 --> 00:35:35,144
[ laughter ]

1023
00:35:35,145 --> 00:35:35,878
How many of those have you had

1024
00:35:35,879 --> 00:35:37,046
Tonight?

1025
00:35:37,047 --> 00:35:38,147
37!

1026
00:35:38,148 --> 00:35:38,715
all right.

1027
00:35:38,716 --> 00:35:39,615
[ laughter ]

1028
00:35:39,616 --> 00:35:45,855
So what about the main course?

1029
00:35:45,856 --> 00:35:46,422
numbrero three.

1030
00:35:46,423 --> 00:35:47,256
The turk.

1031
00:35:47,257 --> 00:35:48,124
Now, I, for one, go berserky for

1032
00:35:48,125 --> 00:35:49,258
Turkey.

1033
00:35:49,259 --> 00:35:51,260
But, gobble gobble.

1034
00:35:51,261 --> 00:35:54,364
Let's make it full throbble.

1035
00:35:54,365 --> 00:35:57,500
did you say full throbble?

1036
00:35:57,501 --> 00:35:59,235
I think I may have.

1037
00:35:59,236 --> 00:36:02,839
If you thought that was crazy,

1038
00:36:02,840 --> 00:36:03,573
Then you will flip your bean

1039
00:36:03,574 --> 00:36:04,240
When you hear this.

1040
00:36:04,241 --> 00:36:05,375
A chicken inside of a duck

1041
00:36:05,376 --> 00:36:06,809
Inside of a turkey inside of a

1042
00:36:06,810 --> 00:36:09,345
Rabbit inside of a pig inside of

1043
00:36:09,346 --> 00:36:11,614
A baby cow inside of a big cow

1044
00:36:11,615 --> 00:36:13,616
Inside of a horse all stuffed

1045
00:36:13,617 --> 00:36:14,751
Into a cornish game hen.

1046
00:36:14,752 --> 00:36:18,454
[ laughter ]

1047
00:36:18,455 --> 00:36:19,889
It's called the

1048
00:36:19,890 --> 00:36:24,427
Turducken-rab-pig-cow-cow-horse'

1049
00:36:24,428 --> 00:36:25,294
Game hen.

1050
00:36:25,295 --> 00:36:25,928
that one sounds oddly

1051
00:36:25,929 --> 00:36:27,296
Appealing.

1052
00:36:27,297 --> 00:36:32,034
yep, and then fry the whole

1053
00:36:32,035 --> 00:36:35,638
Thing in jagermeister.

1054
00:36:35,639 --> 00:36:36,839
And serve with raisins.

1055
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:37,573
why does everything have to

1056
00:36:37,574 --> 00:36:38,107
Have alcohol in it?

1057
00:36:38,108 --> 00:36:38,775
I'd eat this off a dirty

1058
00:36:38,776 --> 00:36:39,108
Plate.

1059
00:36:39,109 --> 00:36:41,944
Full throttle!

1060
00:36:41,945 --> 00:36:43,112
guy fieri, everyone!

1061
00:36:43,113 --> 00:36:44,247
[ laughter ]

1062
00:36:44,248 --> 00:36:44,914
love, peace, and pizzle

1063
00:36:44,915 --> 00:36:48,251
Grease.

1064
00:36:48,252 --> 00:36:55,625
[ cheers and applause ]

1065
00:36:55,626 --> 00:36:56,859
>george w. Bush on Tuesday

1066
00:36:56,860 --> 00:36:58,528
Broke ground on his presidential

1067
00:36:58,529 --> 00:37:00,430
Library in dallas.

1068
00:37:00,431 --> 00:37:02,432
Bush said it has long been his

1069
00:37:02,433 --> 00:37:03,199
Dream to give local teenagers

1070
00:37:03,200 --> 00:37:05,701
Something to drink behind.

1071
00:37:05,702 --> 00:37:07,503
>this week the new oxford

1072
00:37:07,504 --> 00:37:12,275
American dictionary named sarah

1073
00:37:12,276 --> 00:37:13,976
Palin's refudiate which brings

1074
00:37:13,977 --> 00:37:15,511
Us to a segment called "come on,

1075
00:37:15,512 --> 00:37:18,581
Dictionary."

1076
00:37:18,582 --> 00:37:20,016
"come on, dictionary."

1077
00:37:20,017 --> 00:37:21,117
Shouldn't the word of the year

1078
00:37:21,118 --> 00:37:23,453
Be better than sarah palin's

1079
00:37:23,454 --> 00:37:26,088
Accidental mash-up of refute and

1080
00:37:26,089 --> 00:37:26,456
Repudiate?

1081
00:37:26,457 --> 00:37:28,691
We know it was an accident

1082
00:37:28,692 --> 00:37:30,059
Because palin herself changed it

1083
00:37:30,060 --> 00:37:31,627
To say refute.

1084
00:37:31,628 --> 00:37:34,230
She then defended herself

1085
00:37:34,231 --> 00:37:35,231
Writing shakespeare liked to

1086
00:37:35,232 --> 00:37:36,399
Coin new words, too.

1087
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:37,366
Got to celebrate it.

1088
00:37:37,367 --> 00:37:39,335
There are a couple of

1089
00:37:39,336 --> 00:37:40,069
Differences between shakespeare

1090
00:37:40,070 --> 00:37:41,170
And sarah palin.

1091
00:37:41,171 --> 00:37:42,839
For one, when shakespeare coined

1092
00:37:42,840 --> 00:37:44,674
New words, it wasn't by

1093
00:37:44,675 --> 00:37:45,041
Accident.

1094
00:37:45,042 --> 00:37:46,676
He came up with words like

1095
00:37:46,677 --> 00:37:47,510
Submerge and sneak.

1096
00:37:47,511 --> 00:37:49,178
He didn't just take two words

1097
00:37:49,179 --> 00:37:50,613
That kind of mean the same thing

1098
00:37:50,614 --> 00:37:51,914
And then smash them together to

1099
00:37:51,915 --> 00:37:53,115
Make a third word that also kind

1100
00:37:53,116 --> 00:37:54,150
Of means the same thing.

1101
00:37:54,151 --> 00:37:56,586
If you're going to make a word

1102
00:37:56,587 --> 00:37:58,421
From two words, have it mean a

1103
00:37:58,422 --> 00:37:58,988
New thing.

1104
00:37:58,989 --> 00:38:04,594
For example, gynosaur, a

1105
00:38:04,595 --> 00:38:05,895
Gynecologi

1106
00:38:05,896 --> 00:38:06,496
Gynecologist's dinosaur.

1107
00:38:06,497 --> 00:38:07,263
When you play fast and loose

1108
00:38:07,264 --> 00:38:08,664
With a spoon.

1109
00:38:08,665 --> 00:38:11,567
And lumberjerk, the cashier that

1110
00:38:11,568 --> 00:38:16,038
Overcharged you at home depot.

1111
00:38:16,039 --> 00:38:17,773
Shakespeare crafted new words.

1112
00:38:17,774 --> 00:38:19,342
Sarah palin got into a word

1113
00:38:19,343 --> 00:38:20,076
Fender bender.

1114
00:38:20,077 --> 00:38:21,077
When shakespeare did come up

1115
00:38:21,078 --> 00:38:22,645
With new words, he certainly

1116
00:38:22,646 --> 00:38:24,180
Didn't say "got to celebrate

1117
00:38:24,181 --> 00:38:24,447
It."

1118
00:38:24,448 --> 00:38:26,415
In fact, I bet he never said

1119
00:38:26,416 --> 00:38:27,350
That.

1120
00:38:27,351 --> 00:38:28,150
Shakespeare, what are you doing

1121
00:38:28,151 --> 00:38:29,285
At the club?

1122
00:38:29,286 --> 00:38:32,755
Just finished "12th night.

1123
00:38:32,756 --> 00:38:34,824
Got to celebrate it."

1124
00:38:34,825 --> 00:38:36,425
We already have repudiate.

1125
00:38:36,426 --> 00:38:39,128
You can't change the "p" to an

1126
00:38:39,129 --> 00:38:41,597
"f" and say you made a new word.

1127
00:38:41,598 --> 00:38:44,800
I'll use it in a sentence.

1128
00:38:44,801 --> 00:38:47,403
New oxford american dictionary,

1129
00:38:47,404 --> 00:38:48,170
Please stop racing the english

1130
00:38:48,171 --> 00:38:51,974
Language.

1131
00:38:51,975 --> 00:38:53,209
come on, dictionary.

1132
00:38:53,210 --> 00:38:54,043
>apple announced Tuesday that

1133
00:38:54,044 --> 00:38:55,211
The entire beatles catalog will

1134
00:38:55,212 --> 00:38:55,845
Finally be available for

1135
00:38:55,846 --> 00:38:57,480
Download on itunes.

1136
00:38:57,481 --> 00:38:59,482
I guess that's why my dad keeps

1137
00:38:59,483 --> 00:39:00,216
Asking me to drive him to the

1138
00:39:00,217 --> 00:39:00,883
Itunes store.

1139
00:39:00,884 --> 00:39:07,156
[ laughter ]

1140
00:39:07,157 --> 00:39:09,125
>a group of 300 women in the

1141
00:39:09,126 --> 00:39:10,259
Ukraine have become a fixture on

1142
00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:11,427
The country's political scene

1143
00:39:11,428 --> 00:39:12,528
With their practice of

1144
00:39:12,529 --> 00:39:14,830
Protesting while topless.

1145
00:39:14,831 --> 00:39:16,232
Said ukrainian officials, "hey,

1146
00:39:16,233 --> 00:39:17,400
No, stop."

1147
00:39:17,401 --> 00:39:20,503
[ laughter ]

1148
00:39:20,504 --> 00:39:21,637
>a coffee shop in

1149
00:39:21,638 --> 00:39:23,339
Brooklyn, new york, has been

1150
00:39:23,340 --> 00:39:24,473
Serving 20-ounce cups of

1151
00:39:24,474 --> 00:39:25,608
Espresso, which is the

1152
00:39:25,609 --> 00:39:27,610
Equivalent of ten shots.

1153
00:39:27,611 --> 00:39:30,780
All they ask is that you leave

1154
00:39:30,781 --> 00:39:31,480
The coffee shop through the

1155
00:39:31,481 --> 00:39:32,481
Door.

1156
00:39:32,482 --> 00:39:35,685
[ laughter ]

1157
00:39:35,686 --> 00:39:37,119
>in a related story, demand

1158
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:38,454
For the caffeinated alcohol

1159
00:39:38,455 --> 00:39:40,489
Drink four loko surged this week

1160
00:39:40,490 --> 00:39:41,123
In new york.

1161
00:39:41,124 --> 00:39:42,425
After it was announced that the

1162
00:39:42,426 --> 00:39:43,593
Beverage will no longer be

1163
00:39:43,594 --> 00:39:46,128
Available here, here to comment

1164
00:39:46,129 --> 00:39:47,997
Is one of four loko's creators,

1165
00:39:47,998 --> 00:39:55,805
Chris hunter.

1166
00:39:55,806 --> 00:39:57,573
thanks for having me, seth.

1167
00:39:57,574 --> 00:39:58,240
Let's do it.

1168
00:39:58,241 --> 00:40:00,309
how do you feel about four

1169
00:40:00,310 --> 00:40:01,377
Loko being banned in new york

1170
00:40:01,378 --> 00:40:01,677
State?

1171
00:40:01,678 --> 00:40:02,311
it's a shame.

1172
00:40:02,312 --> 00:40:03,045
It's a shame.

1173
00:40:03,046 --> 00:40:03,846
People love it.

1174
00:40:03,847 --> 00:40:05,081
They want to buy it, but the

1175
00:40:05,082 --> 00:40:06,082
Government is getting in the

1176
00:40:06,083 --> 00:40:06,382
Way.

1177
00:40:06,383 --> 00:40:07,883
well, to be fair, college

1178
00:40:07,884 --> 00:40:09,919
Students have been hospitalized

1179
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:10,753
After using your product.

1180
00:40:10,754 --> 00:40:12,521
after misusing the product,

1181
00:40:12,522 --> 00:40:12,822
Seth.

1182
00:40:12,823 --> 00:40:14,490
After misusing it, okay?

1183
00:40:14,491 --> 00:40:15,491
These college kids are drinking

1184
00:40:15,492 --> 00:40:20,663
The entire can.

1185
00:40:20,664 --> 00:40:23,065
What are they thinking?

1186
00:40:23,066 --> 00:40:24,467
It's called servings, kids.

1187
00:40:24,468 --> 00:40:25,534
You've got to look on the side

1188
00:40:25,535 --> 00:40:26,502
Of the can.

1189
00:40:26,503 --> 00:40:27,236
how many servings are in a

1190
00:40:27,237 --> 00:40:27,536
Can?

1191
00:40:27,537 --> 00:40:27,870
120.

1192
00:40:27,871 --> 00:40:30,039
all right.

1193
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,574
I'm sorry, why even serve it in

1194
00:40:31,575 --> 00:40:32,708
A can at all if

1195
00:40:32,709 --> 00:40:34,010
I don't know, it's easier to

1196
00:40:34,011 --> 00:40:34,510
Carry around.

1197
00:40:34,511 --> 00:40:36,012
People are used to it.

1198
00:40:36,013 --> 00:40:38,114
Plus you've got cupholders in

1199
00:40:38,115 --> 00:40:39,615
Your car made to hold it.

1200
00:40:39,616 --> 00:40:40,950
yeah, but you shouldn't be

1201
00:40:40,951 --> 00:40:41,550
Drinking and driving.

1202
00:40:41,551 --> 00:40:41,884
yeah.

1203
00:40:41,885 --> 00:40:45,788
Yeah.

1204
00:40:45,789 --> 00:40:47,523
seth, we're a simple company.

1205
00:40:47,524 --> 00:40:49,358
Five years ago me and my ohio

1206
00:40:49,359 --> 00:40:50,860
State bros figure, we love

1207
00:40:50,861 --> 00:40:52,395
Getting drunk, but we can only

1208
00:40:52,396 --> 00:40:55,031
Get so drunk because we kept

1209
00:40:55,032 --> 00:40:55,865
Passing out.

1210
00:40:55,866 --> 00:40:57,833
We tried drinking jack and coke.

1211
00:40:57,834 --> 00:40:59,335
But I don't like jack and my

1212
00:40:59,336 --> 00:41:00,803
Coke dealer got busted.

1213
00:41:00,804 --> 00:41:03,205
We came up with four loko.

1214
00:41:03,206 --> 00:41:04,940
I don't think it's that crazy of

1215
00:41:04,941 --> 00:41:05,741
A product.

1216
00:41:05,742 --> 00:41:06,409
It's not crazy.

1217
00:41:06,410 --> 00:41:08,577
you do have crazy in the

1218
00:41:08,578 --> 00:41:09,111
Name, four loko.

1219
00:41:09,112 --> 00:41:10,780
how so?

1220
00:41:10,781 --> 00:41:12,982
you do know that loko means

1221
00:41:12,983 --> 00:41:13,315
Crazy?

1222
00:41:13,316 --> 00:41:16,619
I did not know that.

1223
00:41:16,620 --> 00:41:17,787
here's the thing.

1224
00:41:17,788 --> 00:41:19,355
There's nothing crazy about it.

1225
00:41:19,356 --> 00:41:20,690
We took two legal products that

1226
00:41:20,691 --> 00:41:22,391
Americans love and combined

1227
00:41:22,392 --> 00:41:23,092
Them.

1228
00:41:23,093 --> 00:41:24,827
Caffeine and a buttload of

1229
00:41:24,828 --> 00:41:25,194
Alcohol.

1230
00:41:25,195 --> 00:41:26,462
I said to heck with this new

1231
00:41:26,463 --> 00:41:26,729
Law.

1232
00:41:26,730 --> 00:41:28,230
We're going to keep doing what

1233
00:41:28,231 --> 00:41:28,764
We do.

1234
00:41:28,765 --> 00:41:31,033
A brand-new drink combines boxed

1235
00:41:31,034 --> 00:41:31,767
Wine, milk, buffalo sauce and

1236
00:41:31,768 --> 00:41:32,168
Fiberglass.

1237
00:41:32,169 --> 00:41:33,602
All right?

1238
00:41:33,603 --> 00:41:35,571
It's all legal stuff.

1239
00:41:35,572 --> 00:41:36,072
Here it is.

1240
00:41:36,073 --> 00:41:41,177
It's called the organ blaster.

1241
00:41:41,178 --> 00:41:43,446
Do not drink this one, though.

1242
00:41:43,447 --> 00:41:45,247
Your body will reject it

1243
00:41:45,248 --> 00:41:45,681
Immediately.

1244
00:41:45,682 --> 00:41:46,882
Crack it open, pour a little on

1245
00:41:46,883 --> 00:41:47,349
Your arm.

1246
00:41:47,350 --> 00:41:48,684
Let it get in your pores.

1247
00:41:48,685 --> 00:41:50,720
You feel a nice little buzz.

1248
00:41:50,721 --> 00:41:51,854
We've also got one coming out

1249
00:41:51,855 --> 00:41:54,223
That combines doughnuts, ky

1250
00:41:54,224 --> 00:41:56,292
Jelly, cigarettes and a horse

1251
00:41:56,293 --> 00:41:57,026
Tranquilizer called the amy

1252
00:41:57,027 --> 00:42:00,496
Winehouse.

1253
00:42:00,497 --> 00:42:02,231
You know what I say?

1254
00:42:02,232 --> 00:42:03,365
Get the original one while you

1255
00:42:03,366 --> 00:42:04,533
Still can, all right?

1256
00:42:04,534 --> 00:42:06,469
chris hunter, everybody!

1257
00:42:06,470 --> 00:42:14,009
[ cheers and applause ]

1258
00:42:14,010 --> 00:42:15,945
keep that away from guy

1259
00:42:15,946 --> 00:42:17,780
Fieri.

1260
00:42:17,781 --> 00:42:18,881
>two men in kentucky were

1261
00:42:18,882 --> 00:42:19,749
Sentenced to probation in

1262
00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:20,583
Connection with a case in which

1263
00:42:20,584 --> 00:42:22,017
A third man said he was forced

1264
00:42:22,018 --> 00:42:22,651
To eat his beard after an

1265
00:42:22,652 --> 00:42:26,589
Argument.

1266
00:42:26,590 --> 00:42:27,690
Good old kentucky, where

1267
00:42:27,691 --> 00:42:28,457
Arguments end with forced beard

1268
00:42:28,458 --> 00:42:28,858
Eating.

1269
00:42:28,859 --> 00:42:32,695
[ laughter ]

1270
00:42:32,696 --> 00:42:36,132
>this past weekend more than

1271
00:42:36,133 --> 00:42:38,267
40 teams competed in

1272
00:42:38,268 --> 00:42:39,034
The two-day quidditch world cup

1273
00:42:39,035 --> 00:42:39,769
Tournament from the harry potter

1274
00:42:39,770 --> 00:42:40,236
Movies.

1275
00:42:40,237 --> 00:42:40,903
But then who, praytell, was

1276
00:42:40,904 --> 00:42:41,537
Manning the registers at

1277
00:42:41,538 --> 00:42:41,971
Gamestop?

1278
00:42:41,972 --> 00:42:45,908
[ laughter ]

1279
00:42:45,909 --> 00:42:47,076
>a new vending machine has

1280
00:42:47,077 --> 00:42:48,577
Been developed in tokyo that

1281
00:42:48,578 --> 00:42:49,945
Uses facial recognition

1282
00:42:49,946 --> 00:42:51,714
Technology to decide what

1283
00:42:51,715 --> 00:42:54,884
Customers would like and make

1284
00:42:54,885 --> 00:42:55,284
Suggestions.

1285
00:42:55,285 --> 00:42:57,019
They tried it in the u.S., but

1286
00:42:57,020 --> 00:42:58,454
The machine kept repeating,

1287
00:42:58,455 --> 00:43:00,122
"move it along, tubby."

1288
00:43:00,123 --> 00:43:01,924
And now with a very special

1289
00:43:01,925 --> 00:43:04,860
Thanksgiving message, our own

1290
00:43:04,861 --> 00:43:10,766
Jay pharoah.

1291
00:43:10,767 --> 00:43:11,400
[ cheers and applause ]

1292
00:43:11,401 --> 00:43:12,034
what's knocking, seth?

1293
00:43:12,035 --> 00:43:12,768
You know, I love thanksgiving,

1294
00:43:12,769 --> 00:43:13,068
Right?

1295
00:43:13,069 --> 00:43:13,869
But I also love hip-hop.

1296
00:43:13,870 --> 00:43:15,571
I can't believe there's not a

1297
00:43:15,572 --> 00:43:16,238
Hip-hop song celebrating my

1298
00:43:16,239 --> 00:43:19,608
Favorite holiday.

1299
00:43:19,609 --> 00:43:22,745
Why do white people get

1300
00:43:22,746 --> 00:43:23,412
All the thanksgiving songs?

1301
00:43:23,413 --> 00:43:24,146
oh, I don't think there are

1302
00:43:24,147 --> 00:43:24,980
Any thanksgiving songs for white

1303
00:43:24,981 --> 00:43:26,148
People.

1304
00:43:26,149 --> 00:43:27,283
yeah, there are.

1305
00:43:27,284 --> 00:43:28,150
What about "thank you for being

1306
00:43:28,151 --> 00:43:28,717
A friend"?

1307
00:43:28,718 --> 00:43:29,285
[ laughter ]

1308
00:43:29,286 --> 00:43:29,952
"the golden girls" theme?

1309
00:43:29,953 --> 00:43:30,686
yeah.

1310
00:43:30,687 --> 00:43:31,520
Don't white people sing that at

1311
00:43:31,521 --> 00:43:32,121
Thanksgiving?

1312
00:43:32,122 --> 00:43:33,255
no.

1313
00:43:33,256 --> 00:43:35,524
well, they should.

1314
00:43:35,525 --> 00:43:38,093
[ laughter ]

1315
00:43:38,094 --> 00:43:39,228
But, seth, I think we need a

1316
00:43:39,229 --> 00:43:42,231
Hip-hop thanksgiving song.

1317
00:43:42,232 --> 00:43:43,365
So I'm here asking

1318
00:43:43,366 --> 00:43:44,166
Some of my favorite artists to

1319
00:43:44,167 --> 00:43:44,600
Put one out.

1320
00:43:44,601 --> 00:43:45,334
okay, so like who?

1321
00:43:45,335 --> 00:43:48,771
like jay-z.

1322
00:43:48,772 --> 00:43:49,471
A thanksgiving song from hova

1323
00:43:49,472 --> 00:43:50,172
Would be hot, right?

1324
00:43:50,173 --> 00:43:51,340
jay-z, absolutely.

1325
00:43:51,341 --> 00:43:52,942
yeah, man.

1326
00:43:52,943 --> 00:43:54,343
As a matter of fact,

1327
00:43:54,344 --> 00:43:55,477
Hit that beat.

1328
00:43:55,478 --> 00:43:56,312
♪ when it comes to thanksgiving

1329
00:43:56,313 --> 00:44:00,583
Y'all know hova's the best

1330
00:44:00,584 --> 00:44:01,884
You eat the thighs while

1331
00:44:01,885 --> 00:44:02,751
♪ I eat the breast

1332
00:44:02,752 --> 00:44:03,586
I'm thankful for my rhymes

1333
00:44:03,587 --> 00:44:04,186
The way I spit and talk

1334
00:44:04,187 --> 00:44:05,020
I'm thankful for beyonce*

1335
00:44:05,021 --> 00:44:05,888
♪ and her badonkadonk

1336
00:44:05,889 --> 00:44:07,022
Thankful for my money

1337
00:44:07,023 --> 00:44:08,123
And thankful for my crew

1338
00:44:08,124 --> 00:44:10,693
Most of all I'm thankful *

1339
00:44:10,694 --> 00:44:11,293
♪ I'm me and not you

1340
00:44:11,294 --> 00:44:16,699
Hova

1341
00:44:16,700 --> 00:44:21,136
Ha, ha, ha ha *

1342
00:44:21,137 --> 00:44:22,271
Yeah, it's your boy.

1343
00:44:22,272 --> 00:44:22,872
[ cheers and applause ]

1344
00:44:22,873 --> 00:44:23,539
I really like that song.

1345
00:44:23,540 --> 00:44:24,106
It's like my family's

1346
00:44:24,107 --> 00:44:26,775
Thanksgiving, because it's

1347
00:44:26,776 --> 00:44:28,244
Very aggressive.

1348
00:44:28,245 --> 00:44:31,380
[ laughter ]

1349
00:44:31,381 --> 00:44:31,881
you know what?

1350
00:44:31,882 --> 00:44:32,648
If you write songs about family,

1351
00:44:32,649 --> 00:44:33,382
You'll love the verse I wrote up

1352
00:44:33,383 --> 00:44:33,782
For drake.

1353
00:44:33,783 --> 00:44:34,250
You know drake?

1354
00:44:34,251 --> 00:44:34,984
you wrote a drake song about

1355
00:44:34,985 --> 00:44:35,417
Thanksgiving?

1356
00:44:35,418 --> 00:44:37,953
yeah, drake from young money.

1357
00:44:37,954 --> 00:44:38,354
I wrote it.

1358
00:44:38,355 --> 00:44:40,789
Yeah.

1359
00:44:40,790 --> 00:44:47,329
Drake's thanksgiving song would

1360
00:44:47,330 --> 00:44:49,198
Be about his dysfunctional ass

1361
00:44:49,199 --> 00:44:51,033
Family.

1362
00:44:51,034 --> 00:44:51,901
Like this.

1363
00:44:51,902 --> 00:44:52,468
Here it goes.

1364
00:44:52,469 --> 00:44:53,335
♪ brothers at the table

1365
00:44:53,336 --> 00:44:53,869
Cousins there too

1366
00:44:53,870 --> 00:44:54,470
Drunk uncle walking

1367
00:44:54,471 --> 00:44:55,037
Around trying to *

1368
00:44:55,038 --> 00:44:55,604
♪ choke you

1369
00:44:55,605 --> 00:44:56,171
Big people table

1370
00:44:56,172 --> 00:44:57,039
Little people table

1371
00:44:57,040 --> 00:44:57,740
Fat cousins on the couch *

1372
00:44:57,741 --> 00:44:58,741
♪ watching cable

1373
00:44:58,742 --> 00:44:59,875
Tattoo of my grandma

1374
00:44:59,876 --> 00:45:02,444
Want you to view it

1375
00:45:02,445 --> 00:45:06,649
Got to drink a lot of liquor *

1376
00:45:06,650 --> 00:45:08,417
Uh, yeah *

1377
00:45:08,418 --> 00:45:11,253
[ cheers and applause ]

1378
00:45:11,254 --> 00:45:14,156
that was great.

1379
00:45:14,157 --> 00:45:16,492
I had no idea how much mine and

1380
00:45:16,493 --> 00:45:17,159
Drake's thanksgivings were

1381
00:45:17,160 --> 00:45:17,459
Alike.

1382
00:45:17,460 --> 00:45:19,094
see?

1383
00:45:19,095 --> 00:45:19,461
You know.

1384
00:45:19,462 --> 00:45:19,762
Yeah.

1385
00:45:19,763 --> 00:45:21,130
Oh, yeah.

1386
00:45:21,131 --> 00:45:21,830
I knew it.

1387
00:45:21,831 --> 00:45:23,699
me and drake are a lot alike.

1388
00:45:23,700 --> 00:45:25,100
but you know who would

1389
00:45:25,101 --> 00:45:26,068
Probably have the best

1390
00:45:26,069 --> 00:45:26,969
Thanksgiving hip-hop song?

1391
00:45:26,970 --> 00:45:27,937
who's that?

1392
00:45:27,938 --> 00:45:30,005
I think the late great biggie

1393
00:45:30,006 --> 00:45:30,472
Smalls would.

1394
00:45:30,473 --> 00:45:33,509
You know what I mean?

1395
00:45:33,510 --> 00:45:34,310
He loved food.

1396
00:45:34,311 --> 00:45:35,210
he did.

1397
00:45:35,211 --> 00:45:37,313
y'all know I liked to eat

1398
00:45:37,314 --> 00:45:37,613
Food.

1399
00:45:37,614 --> 00:45:39,315
so you've got a thanksgiving

1400
00:45:39,316 --> 00:45:39,615
Song?

1401
00:45:39,616 --> 00:45:39,982
yeah.

1402
00:45:39,983 --> 00:45:40,883
we'd love to hear it.

1403
00:45:40,884 --> 00:45:41,617
I think it would be like

1404
00:45:41,618 --> 00:45:45,421
This.

1405
00:45:45,422 --> 00:45:46,288
♪ this is not a dream

1406
00:45:46,289 --> 00:45:46,989
Macaroni and cheese in front

1407
00:45:46,990 --> 00:45:47,423
Of me

1408
00:45:47,424 --> 00:45:48,090
Eating stuffing and candied

1409
00:45:48,091 --> 00:45:48,557
Yams *

1410
00:45:48,558 --> 00:45:49,391
♪ in the limousine

1411
00:45:49,392 --> 00:45:50,259
Eating ham til I fall

1412
00:45:50,260 --> 00:45:53,095
Mashed potatoes

1413
00:45:53,096 --> 00:45:59,268
Gravy pumpkin pie ate it all *

1414
00:45:59,269 --> 00:45:59,868
♪ biscuits for days

1415
00:45:59,869 --> 00:46:00,502
Talking cake and the pie

1416
00:46:00,503 --> 00:46:01,136
Have another piece of pie

1417
00:46:01,137 --> 00:46:01,603
Uh ima die *

1418
00:46:01,604 --> 00:46:02,071
♪ like a bear

1419
00:46:02,072 --> 00:46:02,938
I want to hibernate til July

1420
00:46:02,939 --> 00:46:04,073
Thanks for having me *

1421
00:46:04,074 --> 00:46:08,344
♪ but I gotta say goodbye

1422
00:46:08,345 --> 00:46:10,612
Uh uh uh uh *

1423
00:46:10,613 --> 00:46:11,013
you okay?

1424
00:46:11,014 --> 00:46:12,514
You okay?

1425
00:46:12,515 --> 00:46:14,516
That's the one, no doubt.

1426
00:46:14,517 --> 00:46:17,786
Jay pharoah, everybody!

1427
00:46:17,787 --> 00:46:19,822
happy thanksgiving, y'all!

1428
00:46:19,823 --> 00:46:21,390
happy thanksgiving!

1429
00:46:21,391 --> 00:46:22,925
I'm seth meyers.

1430
00:46:22,926 --> 00:46:23,976
For "weekend update"!

1431
00:46:40,357 --> 00:46:41,073
>you're watching turner

1432
00:46:41,074 --> 00:46:45,210
Classic movies.

1433
00:46:45,211 --> 00:46:46,078
hello.

1434
00:46:46,079 --> 00:46:48,080
I'm robert osborn.

1435
00:46:48,081 --> 00:46:49,214
Welcome back to "the

1436
00:46:49,215 --> 00:46:50,349
Essentials," where we take a

1437
00:46:50,350 --> 00:46:51,750
Behind-the-scenes look at

1438
00:46:51,751 --> 00:46:54,019
America's greatest films.

1439
00:46:54,020 --> 00:46:55,754
Last week we showed you some

1440
00:46:55,755 --> 00:46:57,156
Rare footage of bing crosby

1441
00:46:57,157 --> 00:46:59,725
Screaming at a cleaning woman.

1442
00:46:59,726 --> 00:47:00,459
This week we have a real treat

1443
00:47:00,460 --> 00:47:03,429
In store.

1444
00:47:03,430 --> 00:47:04,830
1939's "wizard of oz" is filled

1445
00:47:04,831 --> 00:47:05,564
With unforgettable scenes and

1446
00:47:05,565 --> 00:47:07,666
Characters.

1447
00:47:07,667 --> 00:47:08,834
But tonight we take a look at

1448
00:47:08,835 --> 00:47:09,668
The moments that ended up on the

1449
00:47:09,669 --> 00:47:11,670
Cutting room floor.

1450
00:47:11,671 --> 00:47:12,371
Let's watch those lost scenes

1451
00:47:12,372 --> 00:47:13,305
Now.

1452
00:47:14,240 --> 00:47:15,074
♪ we're off to see the wizard ♪

1453
00:47:15,075 --> 00:47:19,912
♪ the wonderful wizard of oz ♪

1454
00:47:19,913 --> 00:47:21,613
I hear something.

1455
00:47:21,614 --> 00:47:29,455
hi.

1456
00:47:29,456 --> 00:47:30,589
How are you?

1457
00:47:30,590 --> 00:47:31,457
well, would you look at that?

1458
00:47:31,458 --> 00:47:32,024
what's going on?

1459
00:47:32,025 --> 00:47:32,791
You know, it's weird because I

1460
00:47:32,792 --> 00:47:33,525
Heard you guys going down the

1461
00:47:33,526 --> 00:47:33,826
Road.

1462
00:47:33,827 --> 00:47:34,560
I was thinking, where are those

1463
00:47:34,561 --> 00:47:34,960
Guys going?

1464
00:47:34,961 --> 00:47:39,698
I thought I'd come check and

1465
00:47:39,699 --> 00:47:40,265
Out.

1466
00:47:40,266 --> 00:47:40,966
you're a strange looking

1467
00:47:40,967 --> 00:47:41,400
Bird.

1468
00:47:41,401 --> 00:47:42,000
What are those letters?

1469
00:47:42,001 --> 00:47:42,768
I'm a weather vane, I work up

1470
00:47:42,769 --> 00:47:43,368
In that barn over there.

1471
00:47:43,369 --> 00:47:44,103
So if the wind blows, I go in

1472
00:47:44,104 --> 00:47:46,805
Different directions.

1473
00:47:46,806 --> 00:47:48,540
Where you guys going?

1474
00:47:48,541 --> 00:47:49,508
why, we're off to see the

1475
00:47:49,509 --> 00:47:50,976
Wizard.

1476
00:47:50,977 --> 00:47:51,643
I'm going to get a brain.

1477
00:47:51,644 --> 00:47:52,377
I'm going to get a heart.

1478
00:47:52,378 --> 00:47:53,045
I'm going to get some

1479
00:47:53,046 --> 00:47:56,014
Courage.

1480
00:47:56,015 --> 00:48:00,085
So I can put 'em up, put 'em up,

1481
00:48:00,086 --> 00:48:01,854
Put 'em up.

1482
00:48:01,855 --> 00:48:02,721
if you go with us, you could

1483
00:48:02,722 --> 00:48:03,422
Ask the wizard for something,

1484
00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:03,689
Too.

1485
00:48:03,690 --> 00:48:04,990
really?

1486
00:48:04,991 --> 00:48:05,591
You know what I want?

1487
00:48:05,592 --> 00:48:06,391
A new apartment.

1488
00:48:06,392 --> 00:48:07,126
You know, I've been in the same

1489
00:48:07,127 --> 00:48:07,793
Place for, like, four years.

1490
00:48:07,794 --> 00:48:11,997
I've got two roommates.

1491
00:48:11,998 --> 00:48:13,932
It's, like, far from everything.

1492
00:48:13,933 --> 00:48:14,566
I can't buzz people in.

1493
00:48:14,567 --> 00:48:18,570
The buzzer doesn't work.

1494
00:48:18,571 --> 00:48:19,605
You've got to drop the keys out

1495
00:48:19,606 --> 00:48:21,006
Of the window.

1496
00:48:21,007 --> 00:48:22,741
I can't live like that.

1497
00:48:22,742 --> 00:48:23,575
♪ now we all know what we want ♪

1498
00:48:23,576 --> 00:48:24,143
♪ a brain ♪

1499
00:48:24,144 --> 00:48:25,010
♪ a heart ♪

1500
00:48:25,011 --> 00:48:26,411
♪ the nerve ♪

1501
00:48:26,412 --> 00:48:30,415
♪ my own apartment ♪

1502
00:48:30,416 --> 00:48:32,117
♪ we're off to see the wizard ♪

1503
00:48:32,118 --> 00:48:35,487
♪ the wonderful wizard of oz ♪

1504
00:48:35,488 --> 00:48:37,256
where you guys going?

1505
00:48:37,257 --> 00:48:38,123
the original script featured

1506
00:48:38,124 --> 00:48:38,957
Several scenes with the

1507
00:48:38,958 --> 00:48:41,527
Character of the weather vane

1508
00:48:41,528 --> 00:48:43,896
Played by new york actor lon

1509
00:48:43,897 --> 00:48:45,397
Donson.

1510
00:48:45,398 --> 00:48:46,098
Let's look at another unseen

1511
00:48:46,099 --> 00:48:48,233
Treasure.

1512
00:48:48,234 --> 00:48:49,368
there it is.

1513
00:48:49,369 --> 00:48:50,769
The emerald city.

1514
00:48:50,770 --> 00:48:51,570
Why, it's just beautiful, isn't

1515
00:48:51,571 --> 00:48:52,471
It?

1516
00:48:52,472 --> 00:48:56,642
isn't it something, dorothy?

1517
00:48:56,643 --> 00:48:58,210
dorothy, how long until we

1518
00:48:58,211 --> 00:48:59,778
Get there?

1519
00:48:59,779 --> 00:49:01,213
we're just supposed to

1520
00:49:01,214 --> 00:49:02,347
Follow the yellow brick road.

1521
00:49:02,348 --> 00:49:04,616
I was just telling the lion

1522
00:49:04,617 --> 00:49:05,350
Just now, we were walking all

1523
00:49:05,351 --> 00:49:05,651
Day.

1524
00:49:05,652 --> 00:49:06,251
There's nothing to eat.

1525
00:49:06,252 --> 00:49:06,685
I'm starving.

1526
00:49:06,686 --> 00:49:07,452
I'm getting dizzy.

1527
00:49:07,453 --> 00:49:08,887
And I pointed out eight places

1528
00:49:08,888 --> 00:49:11,590
Where we could have stopped to

1529
00:49:11,591 --> 00:49:12,324
Get something, you know what I

1530
00:49:12,325 --> 00:49:13,325
Mean?

1531
00:49:13,326 --> 00:49:13,892
oh.

1532
00:49:13,893 --> 00:49:14,760
We need to get there soon.

1533
00:49:14,761 --> 00:49:15,527
My auntie em must be so worried

1534
00:49:15,528 --> 00:49:16,495
About me.

1535
00:49:16,496 --> 00:49:21,600
I'm talking.

1536
00:49:21,601 --> 00:49:22,334
So he goes, we'll eat when we

1537
00:49:22,335 --> 00:49:23,268
Get to oz.

1538
00:49:23,269 --> 00:49:24,036
I don't know what's going to be

1539
00:49:24,037 --> 00:49:24,703
Open.

1540
00:49:24,704 --> 00:49:25,404
I can't take my pills on an

1541
00:49:25,405 --> 00:49:31,543
Empty stomach.

1542
00:49:31,544 --> 00:49:34,546
I just hope.

1543
00:49:34,547 --> 00:49:35,647
what are you doing?

1544
00:49:35,648 --> 00:49:37,983
Are you going to sing a song?

1545
00:49:37,984 --> 00:49:38,550
♪

1546
00:49:38,551 --> 00:49:39,117
Dorothy?

1547
00:49:39,118 --> 00:49:40,819
Dorothy?

1548
00:49:40,820 --> 00:49:43,088
Did you write this song?

1549
00:49:43,089 --> 00:49:47,125
♪ you'll find me ♪

1550
00:49:47,126 --> 00:49:47,793
scarecrow, did you write

1551
00:49:47,794 --> 00:49:49,228
This?

1552
00:49:49,229 --> 00:49:53,565
♪ somewhere over the rainbow ♪

1553
00:49:53,566 --> 00:49:55,500
do you guys know this song?

1554
00:49:55,501 --> 00:50:00,973
I've never heard it in my life.

1555
00:50:00,974 --> 00:50:03,508
[ cheers and applause ]

1556
00:50:03,509 --> 00:50:05,210
if you listen closely at the

1557
00:50:05,211 --> 00:50:05,944
End of that scene, you can hear

1558
00:50:05,945 --> 00:50:09,214
The crew booing.

1559
00:50:09,215 --> 00:50:11,216
Despite his unpopularity,

1560
00:50:11,217 --> 00:50:12,618
However, director victor fleming

1561
00:50:12,619 --> 00:50:13,785
Shot over 400 feet of film

1562
00:50:13,786 --> 00:50:14,553
Featuring the forgotten weather

1563
00:50:14,554 --> 00:50:17,456
Vane.

1564
00:50:17,457 --> 00:50:18,590
and remember, tin man, a

1565
00:50:18,591 --> 00:50:20,893
Heart is not measured by how

1566
00:50:20,894 --> 00:50:22,327
Much you love, but by how much

1567
00:50:22,328 --> 00:50:26,765
You are loved by others.

1568
00:50:26,766 --> 00:50:28,267
congratulations.

1569
00:50:28,268 --> 00:50:31,803
That's really nice of you.

1570
00:50:31,804 --> 00:50:33,739
wizard, I suppose there isn't

1571
00:50:33,740 --> 00:50:35,474
Anything in that black bag for

1572
00:50:35,475 --> 00:50:36,141
Me.

1573
00:50:36,142 --> 00:50:37,142
wait, you skipped me.

1574
00:50:37,143 --> 00:50:38,777
You can't do that.

1575
00:50:38,778 --> 00:50:40,579
I want to go home to kansas.

1576
00:50:40,580 --> 00:50:41,680
that's not going to happen.

1577
00:50:41,681 --> 00:50:42,781
You've got to stay here.

1578
00:50:42,782 --> 00:50:43,548
Stay with friends until you find

1579
00:50:43,549 --> 00:50:45,617
An apartment.

1580
00:50:45,618 --> 00:50:47,619
This guy can help you.

1581
00:50:47,620 --> 00:50:53,592
He is the wizard of oz.

1582
00:50:53,593 --> 00:50:54,726
lon donson went on to be cut

1583
00:50:54,727 --> 00:50:55,427
From several other hollywood

1584
00:50:55,428 --> 00:50:56,161
Classics.

1585
00:50:56,162 --> 00:50:58,163
He had memorable deleted scenes

1586
00:50:58,164 --> 00:51:00,999
In films like "casablanca."

1587
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,403
"the ten commandments."

1588
00:51:04,404 --> 00:51:06,972
And "the sound of music."

1589
00:51:06,973 --> 00:51:07,806
[ laughter ]

1590
00:51:07,807 --> 00:51:09,241
Where he played a neighbor who

1591
00:51:09,242 --> 00:51:09,975
Asks the von trapps to please

1592
00:51:09,976 --> 00:51:12,077
Keep it down.

1593
00:51:12,078 --> 00:51:18,016
For turner classic movies, I'm

1594
00:51:18,017 --> 00:51:18,317
Roberts on

1595
00:51:21,054 --> 00:51:22,087
Robert osborne.

1596
00:51:37,335 --> 00:51:37,801
>you're waching

1597
00:51:39,103 --> 00:51:41,271
>you're watching wxtv news,

1598
00:51:41,272 --> 00:51:41,638
New york.

1599
00:51:41,639 --> 00:51:42,973
morning, everyone.

1600
00:51:42,974 --> 00:51:47,210
Our top story today, shots were

1601
00:51:47,211 --> 00:51:49,279
Fired, and residents of an

1602
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:50,013
Apartment building saw the

1603
00:51:50,014 --> 00:51:50,814
Entire incident.

1604
00:51:50,815 --> 00:51:52,449
Our own veteran reporter, herb

1605
00:51:52,450 --> 00:51:53,683
Welch, is on the scene.

1606
00:51:53,684 --> 00:51:54,951
And today he's celebrating his

1607
00:51:54,952 --> 00:52:00,123
60th year in broadcasting.

1608
00:52:00,124 --> 00:52:02,125
hello, john.

1609
00:52:02,126 --> 00:52:03,793
[ laughter ]

1610
00:52:03,794 --> 00:52:04,261
hello, herb.

1611
00:52:04,262 --> 00:52:04,794
And congratulations.

1612
00:52:04,795 --> 00:52:05,462
Now, why don't you tell us

1613
00:52:05,463 --> 00:52:06,129
What's happening down there.

1614
00:52:06,130 --> 00:52:06,897
I'm here with maria desylvia.

1615
00:52:06,898 --> 00:52:07,297
desalvo.

1616
00:52:07,298 --> 00:52:09,199
what?

1617
00:52:09,200 --> 00:52:10,901
maria desalvo.

1618
00:52:10,902 --> 00:52:14,304
I don't know.

1619
00:52:14,305 --> 00:52:14,971
Why don't you tell me what

1620
00:52:14,972 --> 00:52:16,339
Happened.

1621
00:52:16,340 --> 00:52:19,809
[ laughter ]

1622
00:52:19,810 --> 00:52:20,744
I heard some shooting

1623
00:52:20,745 --> 00:52:21,077
Outside.

1624
00:52:21,078 --> 00:52:21,811
And the kids were looking out

1625
00:52:21,812 --> 00:52:23,113
The window.

1626
00:52:23,114 --> 00:52:23,747
I told them, "get down."

1627
00:52:23,748 --> 00:52:24,481
do you have any fun plans for

1628
00:52:24,482 --> 00:52:25,348
Your turkey day?

1629
00:52:25,349 --> 00:52:26,216
[ laughter ]

1630
00:52:26,217 --> 00:52:27,350
what?

1631
00:52:27,351 --> 00:52:33,089
are you going to cook a bird

1632
00:52:33,090 --> 00:52:33,957
Or, I don't know, some yams or

1633
00:52:33,958 --> 00:52:34,925
Something?

1634
00:52:34,926 --> 00:52:38,328
we go to my mother's.

1635
00:52:38,329 --> 00:52:39,796
so there you have it.

1636
00:52:39,797 --> 00:52:40,297
Back to you, jack.

1637
00:52:40,298 --> 00:52:40,764
no, hold on.

1638
00:52:40,765 --> 00:52:43,400
Wait a minute, herb.

1639
00:52:43,401 --> 00:52:44,834
Why don't we ask her a little

1640
00:52:44,835 --> 00:52:46,436
More about the robbery like what

1641
00:52:46,437 --> 00:52:48,371
Time was it?

1642
00:52:48,372 --> 00:52:50,640
what's that?

1643
00:52:50,641 --> 00:52:52,242
what time was it?

1644
00:52:52,243 --> 00:52:54,211
what time is it?

1645
00:52:54,212 --> 00:52:58,215
it's 10:00 a.M.

1646
00:52:58,216 --> 00:52:59,349
it's 10:00 a.M., jack.

1647
00:52:59,350 --> 00:52:59,983
You ought to wear a watch.

1648
00:52:59,984 --> 00:53:00,717
When I was an anchor, I always

1649
00:53:00,718 --> 00:53:01,151
Wore a watch.

1650
00:53:01,152 --> 00:53:01,885
herb, ask her what time she

1651
00:53:01,886 --> 00:53:02,352
Heard the shots.

1652
00:53:02,353 --> 00:53:03,086
what time did you hear the

1653
00:53:03,087 --> 00:53:03,386
Shots?

1654
00:53:03,387 --> 00:53:03,787
[ laughter ]

1655
00:53:03,788 --> 00:53:09,359
I think around 8:30.

1656
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:10,293
My kids -- my kids saw

1657
00:53:10,294 --> 00:53:10,694
Everything.

1658
00:53:10,695 --> 00:53:11,361
Everything.

1659
00:53:11,362 --> 00:53:11,928
thank you.

1660
00:53:11,929 --> 00:53:15,065
Take it away, jack.

1661
00:53:15,066 --> 00:53:16,466
no, herb, it sounds like the

1662
00:53:16,467 --> 00:53:17,133
Children may have seen the

1663
00:53:17,134 --> 00:53:19,502
Shooting.

1664
00:53:19,503 --> 00:53:20,203
Why don't we talk to one of

1665
00:53:20,204 --> 00:53:22,205
Them, herb.

1666
00:53:22,206 --> 00:53:26,343
you call me mr. Welch.

1667
00:53:26,344 --> 00:53:28,378
[ laughter ]

1668
00:53:28,379 --> 00:53:28,812
all right.

1669
00:53:28,813 --> 00:53:30,480
All right, mr. Welch.

1670
00:53:30,481 --> 00:53:33,650
Ask who saw the shooting.

1671
00:53:33,651 --> 00:53:34,351
all right, now, so who saw

1672
00:53:34,352 --> 00:53:36,486
The shooting?

1673
00:53:36,487 --> 00:53:43,326
my boy, ricky.

1674
00:53:43,327 --> 00:53:44,728
Ricky.

1675
00:53:44,729 --> 00:53:45,562
ricky.

1676
00:53:45,563 --> 00:53:47,264
Come here.

1677
00:53:47,265 --> 00:53:47,864
All right.

1678
00:53:47,865 --> 00:53:51,534
I got him now.

1679
00:53:51,535 --> 00:53:52,869
Now, what do you want me to do?

1680
00:53:52,870 --> 00:53:55,238
ask him what he saw.

1681
00:53:55,239 --> 00:53:56,706
what did you see?

1682
00:53:56,707 --> 00:53:57,574
[ laughter ]

1683
00:53:57,575 --> 00:53:58,308
I saw two guys come running

1684
00:53:58,309 --> 00:54:00,410
Out of the store.

1685
00:54:00,411 --> 00:54:01,144
And they jumped into a little

1686
00:54:01,145 --> 00:54:01,478
Red car.

1687
00:54:01,479 --> 00:54:02,212
who's your favorite baseball

1688
00:54:02,213 --> 00:54:02,545
Player?

1689
00:54:02,546 --> 00:54:05,181
what?

1690
00:54:05,182 --> 00:54:07,150
What are you talk --

1691
00:54:07,151 --> 00:54:08,485
they didn't jump in a car.

1692
00:54:08,486 --> 00:54:09,653
They jumped in a van.

1693
00:54:09,654 --> 00:54:10,153
who are you?

1694
00:54:10,154 --> 00:54:11,521
I'm his sister.

1695
00:54:11,522 --> 00:54:13,189
stupid, it was a car.

1696
00:54:13,190 --> 00:54:14,057
it was a van.

1697
00:54:14,058 --> 00:54:14,591
You don't remember.

1698
00:54:14,592 --> 00:54:15,759
yeah, I do.

1699
00:54:15,760 --> 00:54:16,059
ow.

1700
00:54:16,060 --> 00:54:20,297
Hey.

1701
00:54:20,298 --> 00:54:20,664
herb!

1702
00:54:20,665 --> 00:54:23,900
Herb!

1703
00:54:23,901 --> 00:54:26,670
Quit hitting him with the

1704
00:54:26,671 --> 00:54:27,804
Micropho

1705
00:54:27,805 --> 00:54:28,204
Microphone!

1706
00:54:28,205 --> 00:54:29,005
This is ridiculous!

1707
00:54:29,006 --> 00:54:29,572
Stop it!

1708
00:54:29,573 --> 00:54:31,741
hey, I'm not going to take

1709
00:54:31,742 --> 00:54:32,976
Reporter lessons from some

1710
00:54:32,977 --> 00:54:33,310
Haircut.

1711
00:54:33,311 --> 00:54:34,110
well, maybe you should

1712
00:54:34,111 --> 00:54:35,712
Because you're a lousy reporter.

1713
00:54:35,713 --> 00:54:38,548
hey, hey, excuse me, jack.

1714
00:54:38,549 --> 00:54:40,050
All due respect, I don't think

1715
00:54:40,051 --> 00:54:41,451
You should yell at mr. Welch so

1716
00:54:41,452 --> 00:54:41,751
Much.

1717
00:54:41,752 --> 00:54:43,953
He's just a little confused, all

1718
00:54:43,954 --> 00:54:44,254
Right?

1719
00:54:44,255 --> 00:54:46,656
He was in a lot of different

1720
00:54:46,657 --> 00:54:47,524
Departments before we found him

1721
00:54:47,525 --> 00:54:49,492
In the hall.

1722
00:54:49,493 --> 00:54:50,694
Considering how old he is, he's

1723
00:54:50,695 --> 00:54:56,599
Doing a good job.

1724
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:57,334
this broadcast is brought to

1725
00:54:57,335 --> 00:54:57,967
You by kale's brylcreem.

1726
00:54:57,968 --> 00:54:58,435
no, it's not.

1727
00:54:58,436 --> 00:54:59,002
you son of a bitch.

1728
00:54:59,003 --> 00:55:04,741
[ laughter ]

1729
00:55:04,742 --> 00:55:06,142
we apologize to you at home.

1730
00:55:06,143 --> 00:55:06,843
We'll follow up on that story

1731
00:55:06,844 --> 00:55:07,310
Later.

1732
00:55:07,311 --> 00:55:08,111
Coming up, some local residents

1733
00:55:08,112 --> 00:55:08,845
Are up in arms about asbestos

1734
00:55:08,846 --> 00:55:09,479
Found in their building.

1735
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:09,946
Some sad news.

1736
00:55:09,947 --> 00:55:12,415
We just received word that

1737
00:55:12,416 --> 00:55:13,283
Veteran reporter herb welch died

1738
00:55:13,284 --> 00:55:14,684
Five seconds ago.

1739
00:55:14,685 --> 00:55:20,557
[ laughter ]

1740
00:55:20,558 --> 00:55:24,127
you dirty bastard.

1741
00:55:24,128 --> 00:55:24,694
[ laughter ]

1742
00:55:24,695 --> 00:55:26,062
[ cheers and applause ]

1743
00:55:31,969 --> 00:55:32,702
>clear your calendars, chug

1744
00:55:32,703 --> 00:55:33,436
That coffee, and wake the kids

1745
00:55:33,437 --> 00:55:34,170
Because this Friday is black

1746
00:55:34,171 --> 00:55:34,738
Friday at megamart.

1747
00:55:34,739 --> 00:55:35,205
black Friday.

1748
00:55:35,206 --> 00:55:35,939
it's the biggest shopping day

1749
00:55:35,940 --> 00:55:36,639
Of the year.

1750
00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:37,407
And we're giving you incredible

1751
00:55:37,408 --> 00:55:39,175
Savings with --

1752
00:55:39,176 --> 00:55:40,610
megamart 12-minute madness.

1753
00:55:40,611 --> 00:55:42,045
this is the shortest,

1754
00:55:42,046 --> 00:55:44,314
Craziest sale in retail history.

1755
00:55:44,315 --> 00:55:45,749
You have 12 minutes to bust in

1756
00:55:45,750 --> 00:55:46,483
And grab all the deals you can

1757
00:55:46,484 --> 00:55:47,484
Carry.

1758
00:55:47,485 --> 00:55:48,151
It's going to be a savings

1759
00:55:48,152 --> 00:55:49,452
Stampede.

1760
00:55:49,453 --> 00:55:52,589
savings stampede.

1761
00:55:52,590 --> 00:55:55,125
specials like ipads for $39.

1762
00:55:55,126 --> 00:55:57,694
3d televisions for $71.

1763
00:55:57,695 --> 00:55:58,828
And a secret unpublished harry

1764
00:55:58,829 --> 00:56:00,230
Potter novel, harry potter and

1765
00:56:00,231 --> 00:56:02,232
The treasurers crawlspace, is

1766
00:56:02,233 --> 00:56:03,099
Available for only 6 bucks.

1767
00:56:03,100 --> 00:56:05,101
And there's only 7 left.

1768
00:56:05,102 --> 00:56:05,935
So line up early because we're

1769
00:56:05,936 --> 00:56:06,803
Starting at 4:00 a.M.

1770
00:56:06,804 --> 00:56:09,939
crack of dawn!

1771
00:56:09,940 --> 00:56:10,607
that's right, coked-up

1772
00:56:10,608 --> 00:56:11,608
Rooster.

1773
00:56:11,609 --> 00:56:13,042
At 4:00 a.M. We'll fling our

1774
00:56:13,043 --> 00:56:13,710
Doors open to anybody and

1775
00:56:13,711 --> 00:56:15,044
Everybody.

1776
00:56:15,045 --> 00:56:15,879
Just as soon as we finish waxing

1777
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:18,748
And mopping the floors.

1778
00:56:18,749 --> 00:56:20,450
dive into savings.

1779
00:56:20,451 --> 00:56:21,117
all the best deals are

1780
00:56:21,118 --> 00:56:21,885
Located in the very back of the

1781
00:56:21,886 --> 00:56:22,652
Store down a narrow aisle packed

1782
00:56:22,653 --> 00:56:23,887
With merchandise.

1783
00:56:23,888 --> 00:56:25,588
fire hazard.

1784
00:56:25,589 --> 00:56:26,723
to make room for more

1785
00:56:26,724 --> 00:56:27,557
Customers, we've removed our

1786
00:56:27,558 --> 00:56:29,259
Security guards.

1787
00:56:29,260 --> 00:56:30,693
People have already started

1788
00:56:30,694 --> 00:56:31,327
Camping out in a tailgate

1789
00:56:31,328 --> 00:56:32,962
Sponsored by four loko.

1790
00:56:32,963 --> 00:56:34,931
America's premier hillbilly

1791
00:56:34,932 --> 00:56:36,099
Fuel.

1792
00:56:36,100 --> 00:56:37,233
If you show up too late, you

1793
00:56:37,234 --> 00:56:38,368
Will be humiliated.

1794
00:56:38,369 --> 00:56:39,202
I'm going to do whatever it

1795
00:56:39,203 --> 00:56:44,808
Takes.

1796
00:56:44,809 --> 00:56:45,642
I've got my things order.

1797
00:56:45,643 --> 00:56:46,376
I've made peace with my god and

1798
00:56:46,377 --> 00:56:52,282
Those around me.

1799
00:56:52,283 --> 00:56:52,582
Whoo!

1800
00:56:52,583 --> 00:56:55,318
What a day for shopping.

1801
00:56:55,319 --> 00:56:56,052
your shopping carts can only

1802
00:56:56,053 --> 00:56:56,786
Be stopped by one thing, boxes.

1803
00:56:56,787 --> 00:56:57,520
Everyone on megamart's 12-minute

1804
00:56:57,521 --> 00:56:58,188
Frenzy will get a free box

1805
00:56:58,189 --> 00:56:58,721
Cutter at the door.

1806
00:56:58,722 --> 00:56:59,322
free box cutter.

1807
00:56:59,323 --> 00:57:00,757
[ laughter ]

1808
00:57:00,758 --> 00:57:01,491
we've hired deejay thunder

1809
00:57:01,492 --> 00:57:02,725
Thrust.

1810
00:57:02,726 --> 00:57:04,461
One of the top death metal

1811
00:57:04,462 --> 00:57:05,261
Deejays in the tri-state area.

1812
00:57:05,262 --> 00:57:05,929
He'll be playing music so

1813
00:57:05,930 --> 00:57:07,831
Loud --

1814
00:57:07,832 --> 00:57:08,998
no one can hear you scream.

1815
00:57:08,999 --> 00:57:12,001
[ laughter ]

1816
00:57:12,002 --> 00:57:13,303
we're proud to have

1817
00:57:13,304 --> 00:57:18,174
93-year-old actor kirk douglas

1818
00:57:18,175 --> 00:57:20,844
On hand to sign copies of

1819
00:57:20,845 --> 00:57:21,711
His book, the rageman's son.

1820
00:57:21,712 --> 00:57:22,479
Kirk will be hidden somewhere in

1821
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:22,879
The store.

1822
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:23,680
And the first three customers to

1823
00:57:23,681 --> 00:57:24,447
Find him and touch him will win

1824
00:57:24,448 --> 00:57:25,114
One free kindle.

1825
00:57:25,115 --> 00:57:25,982
catch him, touch him, win.

1826
00:57:25,983 --> 00:57:27,383
so strap on your combat boots

1827
00:57:27,384 --> 00:57:28,084
And run to the black Friday

1828
00:57:28,085 --> 00:57:30,253
12-minute madness at megamart.

1829
00:57:30,254 --> 00:57:30,820
This is happening.

1830
00:57:30,821 --> 00:57:35,925
This is happening!

1831
00:57:35,926 --> 00:57:37,627
only at megamart.

1832
00:57:55,132 --> 00:57:57,466
>ok, people, we are working

1833
00:57:57,467 --> 00:57:59,201
Through lunch today, and I'd

1834
00:57:59,202 --> 00:58:00,670
Better start hearing some good

1835
00:58:00,671 --> 00:58:01,003
Ideas.

1836
00:58:01,004 --> 00:58:03,039
I'm sorry, I ordered chicken

1837
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:10,980
Fingers, not camel toe.

1838
00:58:10,981 --> 00:58:11,814
camel toe?

1839
00:58:11,815 --> 00:58:12,398
Not now.

1840
00:58:12,399 --> 00:58:13,582
Camel toe got you down?

1841
00:58:13,583 --> 00:58:14,250
you know.

1842
00:58:14,251 --> 00:58:15,685
you're not alone.

1843
00:58:15,686 --> 00:58:16,452
you, too?

1844
00:58:16,453 --> 00:58:18,187
camel toe affects millions of

1845
00:58:18,188 --> 00:58:18,888
Women every day.

1846
00:58:18,889 --> 00:58:20,706
It's the result of wearing

1847
00:58:20,707 --> 00:58:21,657
Tight-fitting clothes like

1848
00:58:21,658 --> 00:58:23,209
Leggings, tights and other

1849
00:58:23,210 --> 00:58:23,626
Activewear.

1850
00:58:23,627 --> 00:58:25,244
Camel toe puts your private

1851
00:58:25,245 --> 00:58:25,995
Parts on public display.

1852
00:58:25,996 --> 00:58:27,496
how do you handle it?

1853
00:58:27,497 --> 00:58:28,914
with this.

1854
00:58:28,915 --> 00:58:30,800
camel tame?

1855
00:58:30,801 --> 00:58:34,203
tamil tame with its sure-fit

1856
00:58:34,204 --> 00:58:35,838
Strip creates a protective layer

1857
00:58:35,839 --> 00:58:37,039
Between your clothes and your

1858
00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:38,641
Business but ensures you'll

1859
00:58:38,642 --> 00:58:39,258
Never have to face the

1860
00:58:39,259 --> 00:58:39,942
Embarrassment of camel toe

1861
00:58:39,943 --> 00:58:43,429
Again.

1862
00:58:43,430 --> 00:58:44,580
It's comfortable, easy to use

1863
00:58:44,581 --> 00:58:48,684
And 100% effective.

1864
00:58:48,685 --> 00:58:49,685
You'll get noticed for all the

1865
00:58:49,686 --> 00:58:51,120
Right reasons.

1866
00:58:51,121 --> 00:58:52,788
okay, people, listen up.

1867
00:58:52,789 --> 00:58:55,408
I'm sorry, but --

1868
00:58:55,409 --> 00:58:55,741
yes?

1869
00:58:55,742 --> 00:59:02,198
you have my full attention.

1870
00:59:02,199 --> 00:59:04,500
thanks, camel tame.

1871
00:59:04,501 --> 00:59:05,334
Got camel toe?

1872
00:59:05,335 --> 00:59:06,769
Get camel tame.

1873
00:59:16,852 --> 00:59:17,618
>once again, florence and the

1874
00:59:17,619 --> 00:59:18,085
Machine.

1875
00:59:18,086 --> 00:59:20,021
[ cheers and applause ]

1876
00:59:26,328 --> 00:59:33,434
♪

1877
00:59:33,435 --> 00:59:34,602
♪ sometimes I feel like

1878
00:59:34,603 --> 00:59:35,436
Throwing my hands up

1879
00:59:35,437 --> 00:59:40,274
In the air

1880
00:59:40,275 --> 00:59:42,543
I know I can count on you *

1881
00:59:42,544 --> 00:59:43,711
♪ sometimes I feel

1882
00:59:43,712 --> 00:59:45,413
Like saying

1883
00:59:45,414 --> 00:59:47,715
"lord, I just don't care"

1884
00:59:47,716 --> 00:59:49,951
But you've got the love *

1885
00:59:49,952 --> 00:59:52,220
♪ I need to see me through

1886
00:59:52,221 --> 00:59:53,921
Sometimes it seems

1887
00:59:53,922 --> 00:59:54,789
That the going is

1888
00:59:54,790 --> 00:59:55,923
Just too rough *

1889
00:59:55,924 --> 00:59:57,925
♪ and things go wrong

1890
00:59:57,926 --> 01:00:01,329
No matter what I do

1891
01:00:01,330 --> 01:00:03,331
Now and then it seems

1892
01:00:03,332 --> 01:00:05,032
That life is just too much *

1893
01:00:05,033 --> 01:00:07,001
♪ but you've got the love

1894
01:00:07,002 --> 01:00:10,137
I need to see me through

1895
01:00:10,138 --> 01:00:13,875
When food is gone

1896
01:00:13,876 --> 01:00:18,679
You are my daily meal *

1897
01:00:18,680 --> 01:00:20,114
♪ when friends are gone

1898
01:00:20,115 --> 01:00:22,950
I know my saviour's

1899
01:00:22,951 --> 01:00:27,588
Love is real

1900
01:00:27,589 --> 01:00:29,357
You know it's real

1901
01:00:29,358 --> 01:00:30,224
♪ you got the love

1902
01:00:30,225 --> 01:00:31,359
You got the love

1903
01:00:31,360 --> 01:00:35,329
You got the love

1904
01:00:35,330 --> 01:00:39,033
You got the love *

1905
01:00:39,034 --> 01:00:41,035
♪ you got the love

1906
01:00:41,036 --> 01:00:45,573
You got the love

1907
01:00:45,574 --> 01:00:48,142
Time after time I think

1908
01:00:48,143 --> 01:00:49,577
"oh lord, what's the use?" *

1909
01:00:49,578 --> 01:00:51,846
♪ time after time

1910
01:00:51,847 --> 01:00:54,982
I think it's just no good

1911
01:00:54,983 --> 01:00:56,384
Sooner or later in life

1912
01:00:56,385 --> 01:01:01,522
The things you love *

1913
01:01:01,523 --> 01:01:02,924
♪ you lose

1914
01:01:02,925 --> 01:01:04,058
But you got the love

1915
01:01:04,059 --> 01:01:04,926
I need to see me through

1916
01:01:04,927 --> 01:01:06,060
You got the love *

1917
01:01:06,061 --> 01:01:08,062
♪ you got the love

1918
01:01:08,063 --> 01:01:12,033
You got the love

1919
01:01:12,034 --> 01:01:14,869
You got the love

1920
01:01:14,870 --> 01:01:17,438
You got the love *

1921
01:01:17,439 --> 01:01:21,709
♪ you got the love

1922
01:01:21,710 --> 01:01:23,711
You got the love

1923
01:01:23,712 --> 01:01:25,980
You got the love

1924
01:01:25,981 --> 01:01:30,518
You got the love *

1925
01:01:30,519 --> 01:01:33,354
♪ you got the love

1926
01:01:33,355 --> 01:01:34,789
You got the love

1927
01:01:34,790 --> 01:01:38,492
You got the love

1928
01:01:38,493 --> 01:01:48,736
Yeaaaaaah *

1929
01:01:48,737 --> 01:01:56,410
Yeaaaaaah *

1930
01:01:56,411 --> 01:01:57,845
♪ sometimes I feel

1931
01:01:57,846 --> 01:01:59,246
Like throwing my hands

1932
01:01:59,247 --> 01:02:02,950
Up in the air

1933
01:02:02,951 --> 01:02:04,952
I know I can count on you *

1934
01:02:04,953 --> 01:02:05,820
♪ sometimes I feel

1935
01:02:05,821 --> 01:02:07,788
Like saying

1936
01:02:07,789 --> 01:02:10,625
"lord, I just don't care"

1937
01:02:10,626 --> 01:02:11,792
But you've got the love *

1938
01:02:11,793 --> 01:02:12,326
♪ I need to see

1939
01:02:12,327 --> 01:02:13,761
Me through *

1940
01:02:13,762 --> 01:02:16,263
[ cheers and applause ]

1941
01:02:43,109 --> 01:02:44,243
>this fall, only one movie

1942
01:02:44,244 --> 01:02:45,944
Has kids galloping to theaters.

1943
01:02:45,945 --> 01:02:48,514
Get ready for "horseplay."

1944
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,783
It's a heartwarming film about a

1945
01:02:50,784 --> 01:02:51,483
Team of horses who wanted to

1946
01:02:51,484 --> 01:02:53,919
Play baseball.

1947
01:02:53,920 --> 01:02:54,620
And before you see the movie,

1948
01:02:54,621 --> 01:02:56,188
Buy the soundtrack.

1949
01:02:56,189 --> 01:02:56,889
Featuring an original song by

1950
01:02:56,890 --> 01:02:58,390
Randy newman.

1951
01:03:01,594 --> 01:03:02,995
♪ horses on the beach ♪

1952
01:03:02,996 --> 01:03:04,730
[ laughter ]

1953
01:03:04,731 --> 01:03:08,700
♪ horses holding bets ♪

1954
01:03:08,701 --> 01:03:10,135
♪ without a saddle ♪

1955
01:03:10,136 --> 01:03:12,104
♪ it's just horseplay ♪

1956
01:03:12,105 --> 01:03:13,839
"horseplay."

1957
01:03:13,840 --> 01:03:14,673
Strap on your saddle and step up

1958
01:03:14,674 --> 01:03:16,708
To the plate.

1959
01:03:16,709 --> 01:03:19,244
With a soundtrack featuring an

1960
01:03:19,245 --> 01:03:20,379
All-new song by the seminal '90s

1961
01:03:20,380 --> 01:03:22,080
Band, the cranberries!

1962
01:03:22,081 --> 01:03:26,351
♪

1963
01:03:26,352 --> 01:03:28,854
♪ with their bolts

1964
01:03:28,855 --> 01:03:30,055
And their bats

1965
01:03:30,056 --> 01:03:30,622
And their cleats

1966
01:03:30,623 --> 01:03:31,190
And their gloves *

1967
01:03:31,191 --> 01:03:31,757
♪ on the field

1968
01:03:31,758 --> 01:03:33,458
On the field

1969
01:03:33,459 --> 01:03:41,433
They are playing *

1970
01:03:41,434 --> 01:03:42,267
♪ the field

1971
01:03:42,268 --> 01:03:43,135
The field *

1972
01:03:43,136 --> 01:03:43,702
♪ horsie

1973
01:03:43,703 --> 01:03:45,704
Horsie

1974
01:03:45,705 --> 01:03:47,706
Horsie-ay-ay-ay *

1975
01:03:47,707 --> 01:03:55,280
♪ oh-oh

1976
01:03:55,281 --> 01:03:55,714
Oats *

1977
01:03:55,715 --> 01:04:00,552
Oats *

1978
01:04:00,553 --> 01:04:02,521
Oats *

1979
01:04:02,522 --> 01:04:03,388
[ applause ]

1980
01:04:03,389 --> 01:04:12,364
"horseplay."

1981
01:04:12,365 --> 01:04:14,499
And alanis morissette.

1982
01:04:14,500 --> 01:04:15,100
♪

1983
01:04:15,101 --> 01:04:15,667
♪ and I'm here

1984
01:04:15,668 --> 01:04:16,201
To remind you

1985
01:04:16,202 --> 01:04:16,835
Of the mess you left *

1986
01:04:16,836 --> 01:04:17,636
♪ and that you said to me

1987
01:04:17,637 --> 01:04:18,770
It's not fair

1988
01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:19,338
To play baseball *

1989
01:04:19,339 --> 01:04:21,340
♪ when you've got

1990
01:04:21,341 --> 01:04:22,474
Horses

1991
01:04:22,475 --> 01:04:23,075
And we haven't done *

1992
01:04:23,076 --> 01:04:23,609
♪

1993
01:04:23,610 --> 01:04:30,415
"horseplay."

1994
01:04:30,416 --> 01:04:31,216
Featuring the cure front man,

1995
01:04:31,217 --> 01:04:31,683
Robert smith.

1996
01:04:31,684 --> 01:04:32,417
♪

1997
01:04:32,418 --> 01:04:33,285
♪ show me show me show me

1998
01:04:33,286 --> 01:04:34,419
How you do that thing

1999
01:04:34,420 --> 01:04:35,087
The one where you play *

2000
01:04:35,088 --> 01:04:35,854
♪ baseball

2001
01:04:35,855 --> 01:04:36,688
The one where you steal

2002
01:04:36,689 --> 01:04:38,390
Second base *

2003
01:04:38,391 --> 01:04:39,258
♪ and then eat

2004
01:04:39,259 --> 01:04:40,959
All the grass *

2005
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:45,230
[ laughter ]

2006
01:04:45,231 --> 01:04:45,797
but it gets better.

2007
01:04:45,798 --> 01:04:47,499
Performing his song,

2008
01:04:47,500 --> 01:04:48,367
"horses lament," it's

2009
01:04:48,368 --> 01:04:56,942
Adam lambert.

2010
01:04:56,943 --> 01:04:58,610
♪ yeah ♪

2011
01:04:58,611 --> 01:04:59,444
[ laughter ]

2012
01:04:59,445 --> 01:05:00,212
and just when you thought cee

2013
01:05:00,213 --> 01:05:00,812
Lo green wasn't on the

2014
01:05:00,813 --> 01:05:02,014
Soundtrack, he totally is!

2015
01:05:02,015 --> 01:05:05,717
♪

2016
01:05:05,718 --> 01:05:09,755
♪ I'm a baseball fan

2017
01:05:09,756 --> 01:05:11,690
Horsie

2018
01:05:11,691 --> 01:05:12,291
If you try to ride me

2019
01:05:12,292 --> 01:05:13,125
I'm gonna buck you *

2020
01:05:13,126 --> 01:05:13,725
[ laughter ]

2021
01:05:13,726 --> 01:05:14,326
♪ I'm makin' dollars

2022
01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:15,127
For this soundtrack

2023
01:05:15,128 --> 01:05:15,961
So get off of my back *

2024
01:05:15,962 --> 01:05:17,696
♪ or im'a

2025
01:05:17,697 --> 01:05:19,665
Buck you

2026
01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:23,101
And I'll buck her too *

2027
01:05:23,102 --> 01:05:23,936
[ laughter ]

2028
01:05:23,937 --> 01:05:24,636
the "horseplay" soundtrack.

2029
01:05:24,637 --> 01:05:25,070
Get it today.

2030
01:05:25,071 --> 01:05:26,738
[ cheers and applause ]

2031
01:05:40,245 --> 01:05:40,978
>thank you so much to

2032
01:05:40,979 --> 01:05:42,112
Florence & the machine.

2033
01:05:42,113 --> 01:05:44,548
Thank you so the cast.

2034
01:05:44,549 --> 01:05:48,852
The crew and all the writers.

2035
01:05:48,853 --> 01:05:49,686
Thank you to my family and

2036
01:05:49,687 --> 01:05:53,757
Everyone here, my friends.

2037
01:05:53,758 --> 01:05:54,825
Let's do it all again.

2038
01:05:54,826 --> 01:05:56,126
Thank you so much, everybody.

2039
01:05:56,127 --> 01:05:56,994
♪

2040
01:05:56,995 --> 01:05:58,629
[ cheers and applause ]

2041
01:06:02,901 --> 01:06:05,836
-- <font color="#ffff00">Captions by vitac & Addic7ed </font> --
<font color="#00ffff">Sync by InSUBs</font>

2042
01:06:05,837 --> 01:06:08,105
www.addic7ed.com
www.insubs.com