1 00:00:01,187 --> 00:00:06,287 How I Met Your Mother 6x14 - Last Words 2 00:00:14,249 --> 00:00:16,474 Kids, when your best friend loses someone... 3 00:00:17,016 --> 00:00:18,142 My dad's dead? 4 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,582 You drop everything and rush to his side. 5 00:00:21,707 --> 00:00:25,066 Only to find yourself standing there with no idea what to do or say. 6 00:00:25,404 --> 00:00:27,382 This is the toughest time in Marshall's life 7 00:00:27,507 --> 00:00:29,439 and I feel absolutely useless. 8 00:00:29,564 --> 00:00:30,947 What can we do to help? 9 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:33,136 Don't look at me. This morning, Marshall said, 10 00:00:33,261 --> 00:00:36,066 "I have to pee." And I said, "Don't worry, baby, I'll do it for you." 11 00:00:36,191 --> 00:00:39,205 Halfway through the pee, I'm, like, "This doesn't even make sense!" 12 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,452 Well, I've been to a couple funerals, so I know my role. 13 00:00:42,577 --> 00:00:43,712 I'm Vice Girl. 14 00:00:43,837 --> 00:00:47,088 Whatever Marshall needs to get through this day, I got it right here. 15 00:00:50,468 --> 00:00:53,428 Cigarettes, alcohol... Are these firecrackers? 16 00:00:54,136 --> 00:00:55,805 My God, Robin, you somehow 17 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:58,127 crammed Tijuana into a purse. 18 00:00:58,584 --> 00:00:59,834 Be cool, nerds! 19 00:01:03,226 --> 00:01:07,026 Marshall's mom hasn't eaten, slept or sat down since we got here. 20 00:01:07,951 --> 00:01:08,951 Wait! 21 00:01:09,076 --> 00:01:11,821 That can be my role! I'll take care of Judy! 22 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:15,259 But doesn't Marshall's mom hate you... The fact that you two aren't very close? 23 00:01:15,384 --> 00:01:16,434 Sweet save. 24 00:01:18,207 --> 00:01:21,294 Judy and I aren't besties, but today, whatever she needs, 25 00:01:21,419 --> 00:01:23,041 I'm there. I'm on Judy duty. 26 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,877 - "Judy duty." - She said "doody." 27 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:27,920 Really, guys? At a funeral? 28 00:01:29,034 --> 00:01:31,995 Well, not all of us possess your lofty sense of decorum, 29 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:34,010 Drug-Dealer-From An-'80s-After-School-Special, 30 00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:37,263 - we have to laugh today. It's healthy. - Wait a minute! 31 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:38,598 Today, 32 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,559 - we are gonna make Marshall laugh. - How? 33 00:01:42,459 --> 00:01:44,520 What's the one thing that always cracks him up? 34 00:01:44,688 --> 00:01:47,498 Internet footage of a guy getting hit in the nuts. 35 00:01:47,623 --> 00:01:48,623 Exactly! 36 00:01:48,748 --> 00:01:51,843 So we are gonna get our bro a four-star nad rattler. 37 00:01:51,968 --> 00:01:55,470 You search knees, feet, banisters, fire hydrants and diving boards, 38 00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:58,701 and I'll cover bats, rackets, hockey sticks, golf clubs and riding crops. 39 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,319 What about animals? 40 00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:03,907 Claws, paws, talons, hooves, beaks and clenched monkey fists. 41 00:02:04,032 --> 00:02:05,282 We can do this! 44 00:02:12,682 --> 00:02:13,841 Outlet. Thank you. 45 00:02:16,493 --> 00:02:19,138 You really do have everything in there, don't you? 46 00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:22,016 You're like Mary Poppins, if her purse was filled with drugs. 47 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,184 "If"? 48 00:02:23,846 --> 00:02:26,207 The kids in that movie jumped into a painting 49 00:02:26,332 --> 00:02:29,189 and spent 15 minutes chasing a cartoon fox. 50 00:02:29,314 --> 00:02:30,964 "Spoonful of sugar..."? 51 00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,318 Grow up. 52 00:02:34,272 --> 00:02:37,448 - I'm so sorry for your loss, Judy. - Thank you, Reverend. 53 00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:41,160 We're so happy that you're going to lead the services today. 54 00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:43,175 Unfortunately, I can't. 55 00:02:43,300 --> 00:02:46,499 My daughter in Chicago just went into labor. 56 00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,029 But I'm leaving you in the capable hands of my second-in-command: 57 00:02:51,154 --> 00:02:53,005 - my son. - Your son? 58 00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,300 You remember Trey. I'll go grab him. 59 00:02:58,942 --> 00:03:00,022 Guys... 60 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:01,598 Trey Platt 61 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:05,251 terrorized me growing up. He was the toughest bully in school. 62 00:03:05,376 --> 00:03:06,561 'Sup Marshall. 63 00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:11,398 Long time. 64 00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:15,111 I was not aware that you had become a reverend. 65 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,280 Yeah, well, your lunch money finally ran out. 66 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:19,198 Kidding! 67 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,453 You could use a laugh. 68 00:03:25,514 --> 00:03:28,771 This video is entitled, "Little League Coach Gets Hit in the Nuts 69 00:03:28,896 --> 00:03:31,055 by a Foul Ball and Then Vomits in a Garbage Can." 70 00:03:31,180 --> 00:03:33,498 I don't wanna give anything away. Let's just watch. 71 00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:42,269 - See? 'Cause, 'cause he got hit... - ... right in the nuts, 72 00:03:42,394 --> 00:03:44,694 The fat kid just keeps run away. 73 00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:50,669 I can't believe my father's funeral service is being led by 74 00:03:50,794 --> 00:03:53,065 Trey "The Noogie Machine" Platt. 75 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,695 That guy gave you noogies? 76 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,360 What, did he carry a stepladder? 77 00:03:57,580 --> 00:03:58,738 He made me carry it. 78 00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,241 So, my dad has these questions to help create 79 00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,286 a theme for the service, or whatever. 80 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:07,163 Question 1, 81 00:04:07,620 --> 00:04:10,042 "What were your last words with the deceased?" 82 00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:11,167 Lame. 83 00:04:12,392 --> 00:04:14,192 - Question 2... - Wait... 84 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,467 My last words with Marvin were lovely. 85 00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:19,592 I've been thinking about them a lot. 86 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,760 Me, too. 87 00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,971 We went for a hike in the snow and had this amazing talk. 88 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,306 My last day with Pop, 89 00:04:25,706 --> 00:04:27,350 he taught my son how to skate. 90 00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:33,234 This is clearly yielding nothing. 91 00:04:33,359 --> 00:04:36,081 Thanks, Dad. Guess I'll have to fill the time with some jokes... 92 00:04:36,206 --> 00:04:37,206 again. 93 00:04:39,113 --> 00:04:41,619 "Last words" seems like a good theme. 94 00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:45,451 Marshall, do you remember the last thing your father said to you? 95 00:04:47,475 --> 00:04:49,375 - Bye, sweetie. - Bye, Mom. 96 00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:51,624 Son, 97 00:04:52,742 --> 00:04:55,294 there's something I wanna say before I leave. 98 00:04:59,999 --> 00:05:02,760 Could I snag that extra pork chop for the flight? 99 00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,930 I was gonna make a sandwich with that, Dad. 100 00:05:06,371 --> 00:05:07,974 Don't they have food on the plane? 101 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:10,726 Yeah, but plane food is ass. 102 00:05:13,328 --> 00:05:14,855 "Plane food is ass." 103 00:05:16,789 --> 00:05:19,579 Those are the last words my father will ever say to me. 104 00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,071 Right after I denied the man a pork chop. 105 00:05:28,817 --> 00:05:30,413 Wait! I'm wrong! 106 00:05:30,870 --> 00:05:32,377 I'm wrong! That wasn't it! 107 00:05:32,502 --> 00:05:34,000 They couldn't find a cab... 108 00:05:34,838 --> 00:05:37,138 So my dad called up from the street. 109 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,013 Looks like rain out here! 110 00:05:41,138 --> 00:05:44,041 I couldn't find an umbrella in your closet! 111 00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:47,862 You know who probably has an umbrella? 112 00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:49,398 And then, well, 113 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:52,535 see, my dad grew up in a small town, in another generation, 114 00:05:52,660 --> 00:05:55,002 so sometimes, totally well-meaningly, 115 00:05:55,127 --> 00:05:56,457 he'd say stuff like... 116 00:05:56,582 --> 00:05:58,441 The Koreans across the hall! 117 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:02,862 The Koreans are a trustworthy and generous people! 118 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,670 I betcha one of the Koreans has an umbrella! 119 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:08,749 Heck, they're Koreans! 120 00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:14,433 My dad's last words to me were a string of... 121 00:06:15,223 --> 00:06:16,917 odd racial stereotypes. 122 00:06:17,404 --> 00:06:19,196 All that stuff was really nice! 123 00:06:19,321 --> 00:06:21,130 It's positive racism! 124 00:06:22,139 --> 00:06:24,050 This is worse than the pork chop. 125 00:06:25,406 --> 00:06:27,214 This next clip is entitled, 126 00:06:27,339 --> 00:06:31,139 "Guy Playing Bagpipes Gets Hit in the Nuts by Low-Flying Seagull" 127 00:06:31,366 --> 00:06:32,725 Let's see what happens. 128 00:06:35,779 --> 00:06:37,079 Here he comes... 129 00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:43,819 - 'Cause he gets hit... - Right in the nuts. 130 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:47,632 And then the fat kid loses his swim shorts. 131 00:06:47,757 --> 00:06:49,700 - Shorts just fall right off. - No, wait. 132 00:06:49,868 --> 00:06:51,438 I'm wrong. That wasn't it. 133 00:06:51,563 --> 00:06:53,746 They couldn't find a cab, so I went down there. 134 00:06:55,879 --> 00:06:59,168 You were right. The Kangs did, in fact, have an umbrella. 135 00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,921 - Of course they did. - Bye, sweetie. 136 00:07:05,313 --> 00:07:06,363 Hey, son... 137 00:07:07,465 --> 00:07:09,428 I just wanna leave you with a little advice. 138 00:07:12,979 --> 00:07:15,601 Rent Crocodile Dundee III. 139 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,604 I caught it on the cable last night. It totally holds up! 140 00:07:22,023 --> 00:07:25,573 Crocodile Dundee III is the second-best of the Croc trilogy, 141 00:07:25,827 --> 00:07:27,530 so maybe I can live with that. 142 00:07:28,673 --> 00:07:30,473 Sorry, my phone's charged. 143 00:07:32,778 --> 00:07:35,287 I hear you're a woman who can get things. 144 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:38,332 I've been known to locate certain objects from time to time. 145 00:07:39,081 --> 00:07:41,335 I need vodka and dirty playing cards. 146 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,754 I got ya. 147 00:07:49,128 --> 00:07:50,136 What is it? 148 00:07:52,191 --> 00:07:54,291 I have a voice mail from my dad. 149 00:08:00,657 --> 00:08:02,773 You have a voice mail from your dad? 150 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:03,733 How? 151 00:08:04,288 --> 00:08:05,943 My phone's been out of juice, 152 00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:08,668 so he must've called me the day the he... 153 00:08:11,316 --> 00:08:12,766 Baby, are you okay? 154 00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,552 I hold in my hand 155 00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:18,210 the last words my father will ever say to me. 156 00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:22,668 I'm gonna hit play. 157 00:08:25,714 --> 00:08:26,714 What's wrong? 158 00:08:27,318 --> 00:08:29,759 What if it's worse than Crocodile Dundee III? 159 00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:33,028 I can't do this. I can't... 160 00:08:35,243 --> 00:08:36,774 My mom is about to collapse... 161 00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:39,183 Wait... No, baby... Baby, I got it. Let me. 162 00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:44,857 You should listen to it. Just don't put too much pressure on it. 163 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,920 She's right. I mean, this idea that 164 00:08:47,045 --> 00:08:49,567 someone's last words have to be profound and meaningful? 165 00:08:49,692 --> 00:08:51,113 I mean, who can live up to that? 166 00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,281 Exactly. 167 00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:55,641 All those "famous last word"" people supposedly said? They're all made up. 168 00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,949 Like that patriotic dude, 169 00:08:58,074 --> 00:09:00,373 Nathan Hale, from third-grade history? 170 00:09:01,075 --> 00:09:02,375 My I only regret... 171 00:09:02,839 --> 00:09:05,836 is I have but one life to lose for my country. 172 00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:09,090 You know what his real last words were? 173 00:09:09,869 --> 00:09:11,926 I'm peeing my pants! 174 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:14,011 True story. 175 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,015 The point is, last words are overrated. 176 00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,850 Look, think of it this way: 177 00:09:20,176 --> 00:09:23,062 you get to hear your dad's voice one last time. 178 00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,689 I should go listen to this... 179 00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:27,525 alone, okay? I'll be back. 180 00:09:34,024 --> 00:09:36,534 - So, I heard you might have... - You heard right. 181 00:09:37,621 --> 00:09:39,120 I'm getting a reputation. 182 00:09:40,560 --> 00:09:42,331 So, what you need, mama? Come here. 183 00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,420 Guys, listen to what just happened. 184 00:09:48,128 --> 00:09:51,006 Judy, do you need a break? I'm happy to cook for a while. 185 00:09:52,079 --> 00:09:54,321 You think your snobby New York cooking is 186 00:09:54,446 --> 00:09:56,053 better than mine... admit it! 187 00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,640 Go ahead, Lily, why don't you just whip up a batch 188 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:03,694 of your fancy tofu sushi bagels! 189 00:10:04,013 --> 00:10:05,563 And choke on them! 190 00:10:07,054 --> 00:10:08,399 - Are you okay? - Listen! 191 00:10:11,615 --> 00:10:13,004 I'm gonna go take a nap. 192 00:10:14,641 --> 00:10:17,239 Judy's finally sleeping and it's all because of me! 193 00:10:17,741 --> 00:10:20,412 Guys, I have a role. I'm Judy's bitch! Yeah! 194 00:10:22,748 --> 00:10:25,416 This day is tough on you, too. You sure you can absorb all that? 195 00:10:26,416 --> 00:10:28,393 Robin gave me a little pill from her purse. 196 00:10:28,518 --> 00:10:31,672 I don't know what is it, but things are flowing pretty smooth right now. 197 00:10:32,129 --> 00:10:33,132 Stay hydrated. 198 00:10:36,716 --> 00:10:37,595 So? 199 00:10:38,822 --> 00:10:40,230 I couldn't listen to it. 200 00:10:40,355 --> 00:10:41,849 Guys, this is hard. 201 00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:42,975 We know, baby. 202 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,977 But you'll always wonder, if you don't. 203 00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:46,353 Your dad loved you. 204 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:48,375 It almost doesn't matter what he said. 205 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:49,817 It doesn't. 206 00:10:49,942 --> 00:10:51,659 Guys, what if God forbid... 207 00:10:52,075 --> 00:10:54,320 all of your dads died right now? 208 00:10:55,444 --> 00:10:57,447 What would their last words to you have been? 209 00:10:57,804 --> 00:10:58,782 Seriously. 210 00:10:59,823 --> 00:11:01,035 I know mine. 211 00:11:01,444 --> 00:11:03,256 When I was in Cleveland last month, 212 00:11:03,811 --> 00:11:05,537 I went to visit my dad at his... 213 00:11:06,092 --> 00:11:08,375 post-divorce bachelor pad. 214 00:11:09,116 --> 00:11:11,973 Been fun bro-ing out with you tonight, T-Dawg. 215 00:11:13,771 --> 00:11:16,901 So glad we can talk about our sex lives now. 216 00:11:17,217 --> 00:11:18,685 That's totally an improvement. 217 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:21,980 I hooked up with a younger woman the other week... 218 00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:24,539 Donna Bromstead. 219 00:11:25,277 --> 00:11:26,352 My prom date? 220 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,562 How far did you get, T-Dawg? 221 00:11:31,225 --> 00:11:32,375 I have to go. 222 00:11:36,413 --> 00:11:38,864 How would you like those to be your father's last words? 223 00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,032 They might be. 224 00:11:40,381 --> 00:11:42,385 Donna Bromstead's husband is a cop. 225 00:11:47,556 --> 00:11:48,415 Lawyered. 226 00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:56,677 Lily, it's Dad. 227 00:11:56,988 --> 00:11:58,635 Listen, I'm sort of in jail 228 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,737 for not paying taxes for the last 25 years. 229 00:12:00,862 --> 00:12:03,415 But bright side, I thought of a great new board game. 230 00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,012 "Tax Evasion", ages six to ten. 231 00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:08,677 Which is, ironically, what I might be looking at. 232 00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,882 Anyway, Pumpkin, I need $15,000. 233 00:12:12,242 --> 00:12:13,242 Fooled ya. 234 00:12:13,630 --> 00:12:15,217 Leave a message after the beep. 235 00:12:15,342 --> 00:12:16,665 We'll get back to ya. 236 00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:24,579 Lawyered. 237 00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:31,417 And so, despite the endless disappointment you've caused me, 238 00:12:32,241 --> 00:12:33,252 I pray 239 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,976 that this will finally be the year you achieve something 240 00:12:36,101 --> 00:12:37,381 of actual significance. 241 00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,968 I'd love to stop lying to my friends about you being in a coma. 242 00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,527 Anyway, the point is, 243 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,927 happy birthday, RJ. 244 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,644 That's awful. 245 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,395 No, here's the awful part. 246 00:12:51,991 --> 00:12:54,411 You remembered my birthday! 247 00:12:58,227 --> 00:12:59,339 Lawyered. 248 00:13:00,192 --> 00:13:02,036 Now can we all just admit 249 00:13:02,161 --> 00:13:04,700 that last words are, in fact, a big deal? 250 00:13:06,802 --> 00:13:09,246 Man, I always thought I had it rough 251 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:11,790 not really knowing my dad, but... 252 00:13:12,355 --> 00:13:15,090 now I realize at least I'll never have to suffer like this. 253 00:13:16,688 --> 00:13:18,572 Our next video is called "German Shepherd 254 00:13:18,697 --> 00:13:21,892 Activates Tennis Ball Cannon While Fat Kid Sips Energy Drink." 255 00:13:22,017 --> 00:13:24,011 Please, Barney! No more videos. 256 00:13:25,991 --> 00:13:27,222 I just need a minute. 257 00:13:30,535 --> 00:13:32,478 Who is responsible for this? 258 00:13:32,975 --> 00:13:34,833 Who got Cousin Daphne drunk? 259 00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:37,399 She is 15 years old. 260 00:13:38,146 --> 00:13:39,485 They grow big out here. 261 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,654 Here's your phone number back. 262 00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:46,555 - Judy, I... - I did it. 263 00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:51,121 What possible excuse could you have for this? 264 00:13:51,289 --> 00:13:52,386 I'm from New York. 265 00:13:52,511 --> 00:13:54,750 We think getting minors drunk is funny. 266 00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:58,237 There's nothing funny about getting minors drunk! 267 00:13:58,535 --> 00:14:00,698 You should be ashamed, Lily! 268 00:14:00,823 --> 00:14:01,882 Ashamed! 269 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,135 Oh, cripes, that's tasty. 270 00:14:10,574 --> 00:14:13,677 That salad's the first food she's eaten in two days. 271 00:14:13,802 --> 00:14:16,855 Sure, it's mostly cheese, mayonnaise and jelly beans, but it counts. 272 00:14:17,134 --> 00:14:18,524 At least someone's helping. 273 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,674 We haven't made Marshall laugh once. 274 00:14:21,878 --> 00:14:23,524 Showing videos of guys 275 00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:25,884 getting hit in the nuts wasn't going to do anything. 276 00:14:26,009 --> 00:14:27,658 - I'm just stupid. - Stupid. 277 00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:30,703 What we need to do is hit each other in the nuts. 278 00:14:32,988 --> 00:14:35,290 Nothing beats the immediacy of live theater. 279 00:14:35,997 --> 00:14:38,020 But which one of us is going to take the hit? 280 00:14:41,656 --> 00:14:42,673 So that's it? 281 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:43,998 No discussion? 282 00:14:46,632 --> 00:14:48,213 I'm not going to listen. 283 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:50,494 "Rent Crocodile Dundee III" 284 00:14:50,619 --> 00:14:53,362 are the last words that my father will ever say to me, 285 00:14:53,487 --> 00:14:56,395 and I think I can live with that. 286 00:14:58,426 --> 00:14:59,676 Is he laughing? 287 00:15:00,851 --> 00:15:03,304 And Marshall really did think he could live with that. 288 00:15:03,429 --> 00:15:04,903 That is, until later, 289 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,739 at the memorial service. 290 00:15:07,166 --> 00:15:09,685 My last talk with Marvin 291 00:15:10,221 --> 00:15:11,660 was so lovely. 292 00:15:12,508 --> 00:15:15,444 The stories his mother and brothers told were so perfect. 293 00:15:16,277 --> 00:15:18,429 Then he picked my crying son up off the ice. 294 00:15:18,554 --> 00:15:20,195 He gave him a hug and said, 295 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,379 "Champ, it doesn't matter if you fall down once in a while." 296 00:15:24,190 --> 00:15:27,092 And as we hiked, a little deer appeared on the path. 297 00:15:27,832 --> 00:15:30,179 She hopped over to Dad and started eating... 298 00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:32,112 right out of his hand. 299 00:15:32,783 --> 00:15:35,996 And then he kissed me and he said... 300 00:15:36,665 --> 00:15:38,390 "I will always be proud of you" 301 00:15:38,886 --> 00:15:40,486 "Life is such a gift." 302 00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:42,691 "You know something, gorgeous, 303 00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:46,185 I'm the luckiest man alive." 304 00:15:49,199 --> 00:15:50,199 Lame. 305 00:15:50,648 --> 00:15:52,076 These stories suck. 306 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,309 Doesn't hold a candle to your Crocodile Dundee thing. 307 00:15:59,078 --> 00:16:00,628 You're up next, baby. 308 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,579 I just need some air. 309 00:16:11,763 --> 00:16:12,913 Are you okay? 310 00:16:15,614 --> 00:16:16,934 I have to listen to it. 311 00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:32,658 It's a pocket dial. 312 00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:36,142 It's nothing. 313 00:16:46,858 --> 00:16:47,882 So... 314 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,500 it's a pocket dial. 315 00:16:51,088 --> 00:16:53,189 You have so many great memories with your dad. 316 00:16:53,314 --> 00:16:55,046 Who cares about the last one? 317 00:16:55,171 --> 00:16:57,016 - She's right. - Your dad was hilarious. 318 00:16:57,184 --> 00:16:58,851 You guys don't get it, okay? 319 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,380 None of you do. 320 00:17:02,542 --> 00:17:03,940 My dad was my hero. 321 00:17:05,484 --> 00:17:06,758 And he was my teacher. 322 00:17:08,091 --> 00:17:09,612 And he was my best friend. 323 00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:13,756 He always came through for me. 324 00:17:15,064 --> 00:17:16,573 And now he's just gone. 325 00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:20,055 And what am I left with? 326 00:17:24,835 --> 00:17:26,124 Thanks a lot, God! 327 00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:27,880 Thank you! 328 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,324 You took my father... 329 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:33,529 the greatest man that I have ever known 330 00:17:33,654 --> 00:17:36,369 and you ripped him off this Earth, way too young! 331 00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,535 And he'll never get to meet our kids, Lily. 332 00:17:43,867 --> 00:17:45,481 But we got this voice mail. 333 00:17:46,981 --> 00:17:48,965 Thank you so much for the voice mail! 334 00:17:49,090 --> 00:17:50,570 It's a great comfort! 335 00:17:50,738 --> 00:17:54,124 Because whenever I'm starting to feel lonely or sad, 336 00:17:54,249 --> 00:17:56,576 or you know what, or maybe a little bit cheated, 337 00:17:57,545 --> 00:17:59,912 at least I got the sound of his pocket to console me. 338 00:18:01,294 --> 00:18:02,540 How is this fair? 339 00:18:03,523 --> 00:18:05,685 You know, like, an entire human life 340 00:18:06,379 --> 00:18:07,589 and it just ends 341 00:18:08,204 --> 00:18:09,593 for no reason, and... 342 00:18:10,842 --> 00:18:12,310 what are we left with? 343 00:18:17,932 --> 00:18:20,605 Looks like I've been calling you for almost five minutes. 344 00:18:21,172 --> 00:18:23,096 How's my pocket sound? 345 00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:26,044 Sorry about that, buddy. 346 00:18:26,169 --> 00:18:29,610 Anyway, your mom and I had such a great time seeing you. 347 00:18:30,483 --> 00:18:31,533 I love you. 348 00:18:35,937 --> 00:18:37,992 Looks like your dad came through one last time. 349 00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:48,691 "I love you." 350 00:18:51,012 --> 00:18:53,094 My father's last words to me are "I love you." 351 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,112 And let me know if you find my foot cream. 352 00:18:57,237 --> 00:18:59,305 That fungus thing is acting up again. 353 00:19:03,856 --> 00:19:05,006 "I love you." 354 00:19:06,752 --> 00:19:09,129 My father's last words to me are "I love you". 355 00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:11,966 - We heard it. - Loud and clear. 356 00:19:14,981 --> 00:19:15,981 Bye, Pop. 357 00:19:18,431 --> 00:19:20,414 So Marshall finally got up to speak. 358 00:19:21,344 --> 00:19:22,573 Funny thing, though... 359 00:19:22,698 --> 00:19:25,665 Then my father said the last words that he'll ever say to me... 360 00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:30,527 "Rent Crocodile Dundee III. 361 00:19:31,007 --> 00:19:32,772 "I caught it on the cable last night 362 00:19:32,897 --> 00:19:34,549 and it totally holds up." 363 00:19:35,803 --> 00:19:39,011 He decided to keep Marvin's real last words just for himself. 364 00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,146 Thanks. 365 00:19:41,574 --> 00:19:42,566 For what? 366 00:19:42,691 --> 00:19:45,250 I know what you've been doing today. 367 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:48,166 And I really needed it. 368 00:19:48,781 --> 00:19:49,781 Any time. 369 00:19:52,311 --> 00:19:55,207 That dress makes you look like a Kansas City whore. 370 00:19:56,873 --> 00:19:58,580 Sorry, dear. Last one. 371 00:20:03,757 --> 00:20:05,037 Oh, man. 372 00:20:06,110 --> 00:20:08,541 I should have rented Crocodile Dundee III. 373 00:20:10,582 --> 00:20:13,004 Okay, seriously, how are you doing that? 374 00:20:18,368 --> 00:20:19,558 I'll be right back. 375 00:20:24,121 --> 00:20:25,349 If I don't come back, 376 00:20:25,694 --> 00:20:28,311 then these are my last words to you all. 377 00:20:31,288 --> 00:20:33,775 I really, really, really love you guys. 378 00:20:36,362 --> 00:20:37,820 Now I'm going to go drop a deuce. 379 00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:43,115 Last words, it's a lot of pressure, kids. 380 00:20:45,023 --> 00:20:46,454 It gets you thinking. 381 00:20:49,027 --> 00:20:50,027 Hi, Dad. 382 00:20:51,645 --> 00:20:52,645 Hi, Dad. 383 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,040 Hi, Dad. 384 00:20:56,599 --> 00:20:57,599 Hey, Mom. 385 00:21:00,035 --> 00:21:01,602 I'm ready to meet my dad.