1
00:00:02,152 --> 00:00:03,176
[SLURPS]

2
00:00:03,353 --> 00:00:04,684
[MAN SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY ON TV]

3
00:00:04,854 --> 00:00:07,448
Isn't this great?
A hot bowl of soup and SportsCenter.

4
00:00:07,624 --> 00:00:09,683
-Doesn't get better than this, does it?
-Ha, ha.

5
00:00:09,859 --> 00:00:12,293
Please tell me that's not true.

6
00:00:12,996 --> 00:00:15,658
It's nice to be at that point
in our relationship...

7
00:00:15,832 --> 00:00:17,959
...where we don't have
to go out every night.

8
00:00:18,134 --> 00:00:20,398
It's great that we're comfortable
with each other...

9
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:23,334
...but that doesn't mean
we're never gonna leave the house.

10
00:00:23,506 --> 00:00:26,839
Why would we? We're never gonna find
a sports bar with soup this good.

11
00:00:27,243 --> 00:00:28,437
[SLURPS]

12
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:30,203
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

13
00:00:30,380 --> 00:00:32,507
Oh, classic moments in boxing.

14
00:00:32,682 --> 00:00:34,809
Dear God, I'm gonna die here.

15
00:00:37,053 --> 00:00:39,521
Hey, pancake. Is your mom ready?

16
00:00:39,856 --> 00:00:41,847
Yes, Vince,
she was ready over an hour ago.

17
00:00:42,025 --> 00:00:44,323
What can I tell you?
I was unavoidably detained.

18
00:00:44,494 --> 00:00:48,954
What, they extend the 2-for-1
lap-dance special at the Boob Shack?

19
00:00:49,666 --> 00:00:52,226
Don't kid yourself.
That 2-for-1 deal's a racket.

20
00:00:52,402 --> 00:00:54,927
They don't mean two broads.
They mean two songs.

21
00:00:56,406 --> 00:00:58,465
You couldn't take a minute
to call my mother?

22
00:00:58,641 --> 00:01:00,108
I was stuck in traffic.

23
00:01:00,276 --> 00:01:04,042
Plus, I don't like cellular phones.
Read somewhere that it numbs your nads.

24
00:01:05,548 --> 00:01:08,381
And at my age, boners are like money.

25
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:12,951
You really have no filter at all, do you?

26
00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:17,081
[SHOUTS]
Ma, your prince charming's here!

27
00:01:17,260 --> 00:01:19,524
Oh, the Thrilla in Manila.

28
00:01:19,696 --> 00:01:20,720
You know, I was there.

29
00:01:20,897 --> 00:01:24,765
-Ali-Frazier fight. Must've been amazing.
-Oh, yeah. Manila's a great town.

30
00:01:24,934 --> 00:01:30,236
For 20 bucks, you can get a broad,
a silk suit and a steak the size of a fat baby.

31
00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:36,345
Hey, Vin.
Don't you look handsome tonight?

32
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:38,140
VlNCE:
Ooh, and look at you.

33
00:01:38,314 --> 00:01:42,648
If the couch potatoes weren't here,
I'd take you on the rug right now.

34
00:01:45,054 --> 00:01:47,852
Oh, by the way,
have you thought about my offer?

35
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:52,859
Vin wants to buy me breast implants.
Isn't that generous of him?

36
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:56,692
Oh, yeah, always thinking of others.

37
00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:59,300
Hey, I'll use them as much as she will.

38
00:01:59,469 --> 00:02:01,027
[LAUGHS]

39
00:02:01,871 --> 00:02:04,533
-Night.
-Careful walking in those heels.

40
00:02:04,707 --> 00:02:06,868
The only thing I want you pulling is me.

41
00:02:09,179 --> 00:02:11,670
Unh, that man just repulses me.

42
00:02:11,848 --> 00:02:13,338
Why?

43
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,547
Why? Are you kidding me?

44
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,448
He's a horny little piglet
with a pinky ring.

45
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:21,019
My mom deserves a decent man...

46
00:02:21,191 --> 00:02:25,287
...who's loving and respectful
and who pays attention to her.

47
00:02:25,461 --> 00:02:27,122
Pow, there goes the mouthpiece!

48
00:02:27,297 --> 00:02:28,696
You know, like what I've got.

49
00:02:46,482 --> 00:02:49,042
[MAN SPEAKlNG lNDlSTlNCTLY ON TV]

50
00:02:49,219 --> 00:02:50,709
[GROANS]

51
00:02:51,054 --> 00:02:54,023
[SlGHS]

52
00:02:54,190 --> 00:02:56,215
Now, that's more like it.

53
00:02:56,826 --> 00:02:58,817
So I guess you're officially done
courting me, huh?

54
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,292
[BOTH CHUCKLE]

55
00:03:00,763 --> 00:03:04,859
Look, tomorrow night, I promise,
we'll go out to a nice dinner and a movie.

56
00:03:05,034 --> 00:03:08,800
-Promise to keep your pants buttoned?
-Boy, it's never enough with you, is it?

57
00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:12,739
What did I tell you?
They haven't budged.

58
00:03:14,344 --> 00:03:16,676
Well, we had a wonderful night.

59
00:03:16,846 --> 00:03:19,610
-We ate Moroccan food.
-Oh.

60
00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:21,773
A little spicy for my taste.

61
00:03:21,951 --> 00:03:24,749
I hope it cools down
before it bids me adieu.

62
00:03:27,023 --> 00:03:30,356
And Vin knows the owner,
so we got free lamb kabobs...

63
00:03:30,526 --> 00:03:32,994
...and a belly dancer came right up
to our table.

64
00:03:33,162 --> 00:03:34,288
Swell-looking broad.

65
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,795
A little long in the tooth...

66
00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:39,298
...but her rack
hasn't completely tear-dropped yet.

67
00:03:41,337 --> 00:03:44,306
What is it with you?
Were you not breast-fed as a child?

68
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:48,404
Hey, Vin,
I'm gonna go up and run a hot bath...

69
00:03:48,578 --> 00:03:51,274
...and light a few candles,
if you care to join me.

70
00:03:51,447 --> 00:03:54,143
You kidding?
Between the Viagra, the belly dancer...

71
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:58,651
...and watching you eat with your fingers,
I got enough lumber to build a coffee table.

72
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,890
Meet you upstairs.

73
00:04:03,059 --> 00:04:04,458
Go ahead, start the engine.

74
00:04:04,627 --> 00:04:07,994
I'll be up in a minute
to back it out of the driveway.

75
00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:10,625
What does that even mean?

76
00:04:13,269 --> 00:04:15,533
Hey, Mikey, if you're interested...

77
00:04:15,705 --> 00:04:18,606
...I got a couple extra Bull tickets
for tomorrow night's game.

78
00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:20,936
Against Boston?
I thought that was sold out.

79
00:04:21,110 --> 00:04:23,510
My Moroccan pal gave me
his season tickets.

80
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,376
A little payback for getting him a deal
on rat traps.

81
00:04:26,549 --> 00:04:30,110
The quiet kind
so they don't freak out the customers.

82
00:04:30,987 --> 00:04:32,852
Oh, man, Bulls-Celtics, I'm in.

83
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:35,320
I thought you and I had plans
for tomorrow night.

84
00:04:35,491 --> 00:04:37,015
We can go to a movie anytime.

85
00:04:37,193 --> 00:04:40,856
-We're talking about the Bulls and Celtics.
-Third row behind home bench.

86
00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:42,292
And I rented a limo.

87
00:04:42,465 --> 00:04:45,730
Oh, my God, third row behind home bench,
and he rented a limo.

88
00:04:46,102 --> 00:04:47,364
Consider it a thank-you...

89
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:51,530
...for keeping the streets safe
from all the perverts and scumbags.

90
00:04:51,708 --> 00:04:55,200
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go
throw her mom one in the bathtub.

91
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,148
Where do you keep your gun?
Is it at home or in the car?

92
00:05:00,316 --> 00:05:01,874
[MlKE CHUCKLES]

93
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:04,076
Can you believe this? Third row.

94
00:05:04,921 --> 00:05:06,252
You're actually going?

95
00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:08,481
Well, there's two tickets. We can both go.

96
00:05:08,658 --> 00:05:13,061
No, I'm not taking anything from that man.
He's trying to worm his way into my family.

97
00:05:13,229 --> 00:05:16,960
And what a great way to do it.
Third-row Bulls tickets.

98
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,328
Welcome to the family, Vince Moranto.

99
00:05:20,603 --> 00:05:24,095
All right, if you feel comfortable taking
what is clearly a bribe...

100
00:05:24,273 --> 00:05:26,605
...then, by all means, have a good time.

101
00:05:26,776 --> 00:05:30,268
I'm a cop. People give me stuff
all the time and I don't do squat in return.

102
00:05:30,446 --> 00:05:32,880
That's what would make it a bribe.

103
00:05:33,349 --> 00:05:36,841
Well, I'm not going.
But if you wanna go, that's up to you.

104
00:05:38,221 --> 00:05:41,122
You know what? Fine. I won't go.

105
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:43,051
-Really?
-Sure. What the hell?

106
00:05:43,226 --> 00:05:46,787
It's just a basketball game, and I promised
I'd take you to dinner and a movie.

107
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,227
Thank you. I really appreciate that.

108
00:05:53,803 --> 00:05:56,499
Oh, come on.
You're gonna hold me to that?

109
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:04,074
-Oh, what are you reading?
-Book.

110
00:06:04,981 --> 00:06:07,643
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?

111
00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:10,410
Yes.

112
00:06:12,055 --> 00:06:13,886
Wow, you're already halfway through it.

113
00:06:14,057 --> 00:06:17,288
Started in the middle.
A good book can grab you anywhere.

114
00:06:18,828 --> 00:06:22,229
-Mike, I know you're upset with me.
-What makes you think that?

115
00:06:23,032 --> 00:06:26,695
-Because you're pretending to read.
-Hey, I can read.

116
00:06:27,336 --> 00:06:31,102
I can't believe because you don't like Vince,
I don't get to have any fun.

117
00:06:31,274 --> 00:06:32,605
I just don't trust the guy.

118
00:06:32,775 --> 00:06:36,040
And I'm guessing the minute he gets what
he wants from my mom, he's out of here.

119
00:06:36,212 --> 00:06:38,703
Oh, think your mom's
been holding something back?

120
00:06:38,881 --> 00:06:41,645
Boy, that's not what I'm hearing
through the walls.

121
00:06:42,852 --> 00:06:46,481
Mike, listen to me. I'm not telling you
you can't go to that game.

122
00:06:46,923 --> 00:06:49,517
-You're not?
-No, that has to be your decision.

123
00:06:49,692 --> 00:06:51,956
So whichever way I go,
you'll be okay with that?

124
00:06:52,261 --> 00:06:54,354
That's my decision.

125
00:07:03,239 --> 00:07:05,036
You're killing me.

126
00:07:12,815 --> 00:07:15,511
Let me ask you a question.
We come in here all the time.

127
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:19,177
If we covered you in vinyl,
we could use you as a booth.

128
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:24,482
And once in a while, you've been known
to give us the occasional free meal.

129
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:27,220
And dessert, coffee to go,
curbside service...

130
00:07:27,396 --> 00:07:30,456
...for when you're too lazy
to button your pants and come inside.

131
00:07:31,534 --> 00:07:36,494
Right, right. And in exchange, have we
ever given you any extra protection...

132
00:07:36,672 --> 00:07:39,470
-...or surveillance?
-I've never even heard a thank-you.

133
00:07:40,643 --> 00:07:41,871
I rest my case.

134
00:07:42,044 --> 00:07:45,673
I believe once, we were even robbed
while you were eating your free oatmeal.

135
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:49,348
You see? Nobody can bribe Mike Biggs.

136
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:50,543
[CARL CHUCKLES]

137
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,984
She doesn't like the guy.
I don't get to go to the game.

138
00:07:53,156 --> 00:07:54,885
-Crazy, right?
-Yeah, it's crazy.

139
00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,890
But you're trying to approach this
using common sense...

140
00:07:58,060 --> 00:07:59,891
...and that ain't the way women work.

141
00:08:01,364 --> 00:08:03,924
When she told me she didn't care
if I went to the game--

142
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,433
She meant if you do go to that game,
don't bother coming home.

143
00:08:07,603 --> 00:08:09,571
When you offer me a bite
of your Dilly Bar...

144
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:12,537
...I know you don't mean it
and you don't want me to have it.

145
00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:16,510
That's true. I don't.

146
00:08:17,346 --> 00:08:19,439
In relationships, it's all about solidarity.

147
00:08:19,615 --> 00:08:21,879
Gotta like who she likes
and hate who she hates.

148
00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:24,281
Even if it makes absolutely no sense
at all?

149
00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:28,287
Especially when it makes no sense. That's
when her convictions are the strongest.

150
00:08:28,791 --> 00:08:31,453
I thought relationships
were supposed to be give and take.

151
00:08:31,627 --> 00:08:35,063
They are. She gives you sex
and you take whatever crazy BS she throws.

152
00:08:39,068 --> 00:08:42,970
I guess the bottom line is I won't be sitting
third row at tonight's Bulls game.

153
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:45,403
Third row?
Oh, man, that must hurt like a bitch.

154
00:08:47,210 --> 00:08:49,542
But still, you gotta back your lady
no matter what.

155
00:08:49,712 --> 00:08:53,478
I can't believe this. I'm passing up
two tickets to a Bulls-Celtics game.

156
00:08:54,417 --> 00:08:56,214
Two tickets?

157
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,287
Of course, there's another way
to look at this thing.

158
00:09:04,327 --> 00:09:06,852
Boy, that was a terrific dinner, honey.

159
00:09:07,029 --> 00:09:08,121
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

160
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:11,528
Now you won't have to fill up on hot dogs
at the game.

161
00:09:11,701 --> 00:09:13,430
Always looking out for your man, huh?

162
00:09:13,603 --> 00:09:16,595
Every waking minute.

163
00:09:17,106 --> 00:09:19,836
Sarcasm. That-- That's never good.

164
00:09:24,447 --> 00:09:28,611
You should've seen Carl's face when he
found out we were going to the Bulls game.

165
00:09:28,784 --> 00:09:31,753
-lt just lit up.
-I bet it did.

166
00:09:31,921 --> 00:09:34,253
See, for me,
that's the joy of going to this thing.

167
00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:37,153
You know,
seeing how happy it makes Carl.

168
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,520
Oh.

169
00:09:39,462 --> 00:09:41,521
Well, I hope you guys have fun tonight.

170
00:09:41,697 --> 00:09:42,721
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

171
00:09:42,898 --> 00:09:45,924
Molly, please.
I can't enjoy myself if I know you're upset.

172
00:09:46,102 --> 00:09:48,400
Well, that's a shame.

173
00:09:49,272 --> 00:09:52,435
You know, forget it. I'm gonna tell
those guys to go on without me.

174
00:09:52,608 --> 00:09:54,166
If that's what you wanna do.

175
00:09:54,343 --> 00:09:56,243
It's not what I wanna do.

176
00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:59,813
I want you to say it's okay
so I can get drunk, have a good time...

177
00:09:59,982 --> 00:10:03,145
...and not worry about coming home
to that face right there.

178
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,210
CARL: Mike, come on.
VlNCE: Let's go.

179
00:10:05,388 --> 00:10:06,412
[BANGlNG ON DOOR]

180
00:10:06,589 --> 00:10:09,114
-Have fun.
-Stop saying that.

181
00:10:11,127 --> 00:10:14,494
Boy, you got a mean streak
in you, sister.

182
00:10:23,272 --> 00:10:27,868
Mikey, you sure I can't mix you
a refreshing alcoholic concoction?

183
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,480
Man makes a wicked lemon drop.
He even sugared the rim.

184
00:10:31,647 --> 00:10:35,242
If Molly smells liquor on my breath,
she'll think I had a good time.

185
00:10:35,418 --> 00:10:36,612
You gotta snap out of it.

186
00:10:36,786 --> 00:10:39,516
You're already in the doghouse,
you might as well pee on the carpet.

187
00:10:39,689 --> 00:10:41,452
[BOTH LAUGH]

188
00:10:41,624 --> 00:10:43,421
Come on, have a little hooch.

189
00:10:43,592 --> 00:10:47,426
Some of the best sex I've ever had
involved liquor and anger.

190
00:10:47,596 --> 00:10:50,258
I agree.
If she ain't mad, you ain't doing it right.

191
00:10:51,367 --> 00:10:53,028
I guess one beer wouldn't hurt.

192
00:10:53,202 --> 00:10:54,635
Attaboy.

193
00:10:54,804 --> 00:10:58,535
Oh, and after the game, I was thinking
we could pop into the locker room...

194
00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:00,767
...and say hi to some of the players.

195
00:11:00,943 --> 00:11:03,138
You're kidding. We get to meet the team?

196
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:07,874
Yeah. One of the trainers used to bang my
cousin, so that kind of makes him family.

197
00:11:08,651 --> 00:11:09,743
Did you hear that?

198
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,682
We are gonna be
in the locker room with--

199
00:11:11,854 --> 00:11:14,379
[lN UNlSON]
Our Chicago Bulls.

200
00:11:14,557 --> 00:11:16,582
-Salute.
-Ha-ha-ha.

201
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:17,783
Check this out.

202
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,520
Open sesame.

203
00:11:20,696 --> 00:11:22,129
Whoa, moon roof.

204
00:11:22,298 --> 00:11:24,129
Moon roof?

205
00:11:26,969 --> 00:11:29,460
I'm the king of the world.

206
00:11:29,905 --> 00:11:32,601
Hey, punk, you better run.

207
00:11:37,813 --> 00:11:39,747
See, now, back in the '70s...

208
00:11:39,915 --> 00:11:43,407
...we'd have to burn a whole nickel bag
to get this ripped.

209
00:11:47,356 --> 00:11:49,654
Did you smoke a lot
of pot back then, Mom?

210
00:11:49,825 --> 00:11:53,784
Mm, you know,
when I was pregnant, I couldn't drink...

211
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:57,160
...and it really did help
with the morning sickness.

212
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:02,032
Well, a lot has changed since then.

213
00:12:02,204 --> 00:12:04,536
It's all scientific now.

214
00:12:04,707 --> 00:12:09,337
Weed advancement really took off
once the nerds got involved.

215
00:12:10,579 --> 00:12:14,242
Well, hats off
to those little four-eyed virgins.

216
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,475
Mm.

217
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:19,018
Now if we can just get them working
on wrinkle cream and hair removal....

218
00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:20,553
Absolutely.

219
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:23,886
Today's pubic hair technology
really leaves much to be desired.

220
00:12:24,059 --> 00:12:25,083
Oh.

221
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:29,422
Oh, yeah.
We're losing that race to the Brazilians.

222
00:12:32,735 --> 00:12:33,759
Oh, good.

223
00:12:33,936 --> 00:12:36,666
Secondhand pot smoke
and a table full of snacks.

224
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,171
It's an overeater's dream.

225
00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:42,503
Do you wanna watch the basketball game
with us?

226
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,612
-No, thank you.
-Oh, come on.

227
00:12:44,780 --> 00:12:47,840
Vince said if they point the camera at him,
he's gonna stand up...

228
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,679
...and cup his junk
as kind of a secret hello.

229
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,117
[LAUGHS]

230
00:12:53,289 --> 00:12:57,385
Great. Please tell me
he's gonna be our new daddy.

231
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,528
Honey, I know you're not crazy
about him...

232
00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:02,960
...but he's really a very sensitive
and caring man.

233
00:13:03,132 --> 00:13:07,296
Why? Because when he walks out of the
bathroom, he announces the air quality?

234
00:13:07,470 --> 00:13:09,836
Listen, I've dated guys
who didn't do that.

235
00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:13,031
Trust me, it's better to know
what you're walking into.

236
00:13:15,244 --> 00:13:16,472
Is that Mike?

237
00:13:16,812 --> 00:13:18,803
No, that's the mascot.

238
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,843
Oh, you're right.

239
00:13:22,017 --> 00:13:24,485
Mike doesn't have a tail, does he?

240
00:13:24,653 --> 00:13:25,984
[LAUGHS]

241
00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:30,717
Look, Mom, I just think you can do
a lot better than that guy.

242
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,361
Come on, Molly.
You never like any of my boyfriends.

243
00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:36,259
Remember Jerry, the housepainter?
You made him cry.

244
00:13:36,432 --> 00:13:38,457
I caught him stealing money
from your purse.

245
00:13:39,869 --> 00:13:42,838
That man was a sexual dynamo.
He earned every penny.

246
00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,404
And thanks to you,
our garage door is still only half yellow.

247
00:13:49,645 --> 00:13:51,909
I'm not trying to tell you
how to live your life.

248
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:55,448
It's just that I love you
and I don't wanna see you get hurt.

249
00:13:55,885 --> 00:13:59,321
Oh, sweetie, I appreciate
you worrying about me...

250
00:13:59,488 --> 00:14:02,252
...but I'm just having a good time
with the man.

251
00:14:02,424 --> 00:14:05,882
Besides, I'm a big girl
and I can take care of myself.

252
00:14:07,162 --> 00:14:08,993
You're right. Okay, it's your life.

253
00:14:09,164 --> 00:14:13,931
If he makes you happy, that's what's....
That's what's important.

254
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:16,765
From now on, I am officially butting out.

255
00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:17,963
[SlGHS]

256
00:14:18,140 --> 00:14:20,005
Don't you dare.

257
00:14:24,013 --> 00:14:27,505
Hey, look, Mom. Vince is saying hello.

258
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,322
[MEN LAUGHlNG]

259
00:14:36,492 --> 00:14:39,120
This was the greatest night
of my life, seriously.

260
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:42,423
I'll probably have to lie to people
and say it was my wedding day...

261
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:45,533
...or the birth of my first child,
but the three of us will know the truth.

262
00:14:45,701 --> 00:14:47,225
[ALL LAUGH]

263
00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:49,371
Double overtime, Bulls win by two...

264
00:14:49,538 --> 00:14:52,598
...plus they scored over a hundred points,
which means we all get--

265
00:14:52,775 --> 00:14:54,834
[lN UNlSON]
Free chalupas!

266
00:14:55,010 --> 00:14:56,034
[ALL LAUGH]

267
00:14:56,211 --> 00:14:59,806
-I mean, it was a magical evening, right?
-I don't know how to thank you, Vince.

268
00:14:59,982 --> 00:15:02,917
Third row seats and we got to go
into the locker room after?

269
00:15:03,085 --> 00:15:05,383
Boy, some of those guys
were swinging the sausage, huh?

270
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:06,578
[CHUCKLES]

271
00:15:06,755 --> 00:15:08,950
Not that I was looking,
but they were at eye level.

272
00:15:09,124 --> 00:15:11,592
Yeah, I thought that one
was gonna eat a peanut out of my hand.

273
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:12,784
[CHUCKLES]

274
00:15:12,962 --> 00:15:16,227
-Dip down into the bucket, wash his back.
-Elephant trunk. We got it at "peanut."

275
00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:20,001
Well, I'm glad you boys had a good time.

276
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:23,434
Maybe mention to your girlfriend
that I'm not such a bad egg.

277
00:15:23,606 --> 00:15:25,233
Oh, she doesn't think you're a bad egg.

278
00:15:25,407 --> 00:15:28,865
She just thinks her mom is scraping
the bottom of the barrel by dating you.

279
00:15:29,044 --> 00:15:32,536
-But why? I treat Joyce like a queen.
-Hey, this isn't coming from me.

280
00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:35,912
It's just that Molly thinks your intentions
are less than honorable.

281
00:15:36,218 --> 00:15:38,778
Look, I'm not gonna lie to you,
I've loved many women...

282
00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:41,218
...but Joyce ain't like them other skanks.

283
00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:43,551
She's smart, she's funny.

284
00:15:43,726 --> 00:15:47,184
Plus, she can match me kink for kink
in the boudoir.

285
00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:50,427
Probably won't tell Molly
about the kink part.

286
00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:53,193
She might not see it
as the compliment you intended.

287
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,599
Well, you know her better than I do.

288
00:15:56,772 --> 00:15:59,570
So where to now, gents?
The night is still young.

289
00:15:59,742 --> 00:16:02,905
Well, I should probably head home.
Molly was pretty mad when I left.

290
00:16:03,078 --> 00:16:05,808
We can't go home now.
We're drunk, we're in a limo.

291
00:16:05,981 --> 00:16:08,449
Let's cruise past a nightclub
with the windows down...

292
00:16:08,617 --> 00:16:10,608
...and tell everybody
we're Earth, Wind & Fire.

293
00:16:10,786 --> 00:16:12,117
You're kidding.

294
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:18,455
[SlNGlNG] Do you remember
The 21st night of September?

295
00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:22,124
Love was changing the minds
Of pretenders

296
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:24,866
While chasing the clouds away

297
00:16:25,034 --> 00:16:26,558
[MlMlCS BASS GUlTAR]

298
00:16:26,735 --> 00:16:28,134
Hey, hey, hey

299
00:16:28,303 --> 00:16:31,761
Ba-de-ya
Say, do you remember?

300
00:16:31,940 --> 00:16:35,376
Ba-de-ya
Dancing in September

301
00:16:35,544 --> 00:16:41,449
Ba-de-ya
Never was a cloudy day

302
00:16:41,617 --> 00:16:44,882
[ALL SlNGlNG]

303
00:16:49,825 --> 00:16:52,555
Thank you again for tonight.
It was very generous.

304
00:16:52,728 --> 00:16:55,390
Hey, I'm sure if I ever got
into a real jam...

305
00:16:55,564 --> 00:16:59,660
... Iike I was sitting on, say, 30 to 35
unpaid parking tickets...

306
00:16:59,935 --> 00:17:02,165
...you'd step up
with a little quid pro quo.

307
00:17:02,337 --> 00:17:05,636
-Yeah, I really don't do that type of thing.
-Ever?

308
00:17:07,576 --> 00:17:09,601
Molly, what are you doing up so late?

309
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:11,871
Waiting for you.
Did you have fun tonight?

310
00:17:12,247 --> 00:17:14,215
-Are you gonna be mad if I say yes?
-No.

311
00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:17,648
It was awesome. Best night of my life.

312
00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:21,350
I mean, not as good as the night we met,
but right up there.

313
00:17:21,523 --> 00:17:22,615
[CHUCKLES]

314
00:17:22,791 --> 00:17:25,191
And just so you know,
he was a good boy tonight...

315
00:17:25,360 --> 00:17:27,487
...and the place was crawling with tail.

316
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,389
[SlGHS]

317
00:17:29,865 --> 00:17:32,026
Hey, the boys are back.

318
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:34,260
Dollface, how are you?

319
00:17:34,436 --> 00:17:36,131
[CHUCKLES]

320
00:17:37,439 --> 00:17:39,873
Sorry I gave you a hard time
about going out tonight.

321
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:42,476
Yeah, it wasn't
a very attractive side of you.

322
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,078
Just take the apology, pal.

323
00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:50,518
Joyce, I want you to know
that my intentions are honorable.

324
00:17:51,553 --> 00:17:54,147
Vin, what are you doing on your knees?

325
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:56,985
Please tell me he's having a heart attack.

326
00:17:58,260 --> 00:18:00,160
-Joyce Meredith Flynn--
-"Marilyn."

327
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:02,854
You gonna bust my stones
over a middle name?

328
00:18:03,465 --> 00:18:05,899
I thought you were just having
a good time together.

329
00:18:06,068 --> 00:18:09,060
-We were.
-But I think it's time that I step up...

330
00:18:09,238 --> 00:18:12,867
...and let everyone know
that Vincent Moranto is here to stay.

331
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:14,838
Is this what you had in mind, big guy?

332
00:18:17,312 --> 00:18:18,506
You told him to do this?

333
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,444
I don't think so. I don't know.
I don't feel good.

334
00:18:23,652 --> 00:18:26,120
What do you say, Joyce?
Will you have me?

335
00:18:26,288 --> 00:18:29,883
Mom, take your time and think about it.

336
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:31,855
Yes, Vince, I will marry you.

337
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:35,724
You took absolutely no time
to think about that.

338
00:18:36,899 --> 00:18:39,197
You've made me the happiest man
in the world.

339
00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:40,392
[VlNCE CHUCKLES]

340
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:44,498
You gotta admit, it's kind of romantic.
Not seeing it?

341
00:18:44,673 --> 00:18:45,697
[YAWNS]

342
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,432
Night, everybody.

343
00:19:00,055 --> 00:19:02,319
You look very pretty this morning.

344
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:08,890
Some might say radiant.

345
00:19:13,535 --> 00:19:15,560
Don't, okay?

346
00:19:18,674 --> 00:19:21,336
You know, Molly,
he's actually not a bad guy.

347
00:19:21,510 --> 00:19:25,276
Can we just eat our breakfast
and not talk?

348
00:19:26,949 --> 00:19:28,177
There they are.

349
00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:30,716
Boy, I know what I'm getting you two
for Christmas.

350
00:19:30,886 --> 00:19:32,649
Chairs.

351
00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:38,820
Hey, princess,
I realize I'm not your real dad...

352
00:19:38,994 --> 00:19:41,292
... nor would I ever try to replace him--

353
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:42,689
That's good to know.

354
00:19:42,865 --> 00:19:47,996
--but if you ever need anything,
advice, tires, pantyhose, whatever...

355
00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:49,194
... I'm there for you.

356
00:19:49,371 --> 00:19:50,429
I appreciate it.

357
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:54,770
And you, you got a real gem here
and you're gonna have to start stepping up.

358
00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:59,471
Take her out every once in a while, spend
a little coin, shell out for a nice dinner.

359
00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:04,108
Don't take her someplace just because
you got a coupon for a free chalupa.

360
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,388
You know what? I think you're right.
That guy is annoying.

361
00:20:11,860 --> 00:20:15,318
I don't know.
He's actually starting to grow on me.

362
00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,049
[English - US - SDH]