1 00:00:02,582 --> 00:00:09,955 >>> you're watching fox news. 2 00:00:10,023 --> 00:00:12,558 >> good evening, I'm greta von 3 00:00:12,625 --> 00:00:16,662 Susteren. 4 00:00:16,729 --> 00:00:19,064 And welcome to a fox news 5 00:00:19,132 --> 00:00:20,799 Special, "embracing civility." 6 00:00:20,867 --> 00:00:22,034 In the wake of president obama's 7 00:00:22,135 --> 00:00:23,936 Speech on Thursday as well as an 8 00:00:24,003 --> 00:00:27,439 Overwhelming public outcry for 9 00:00:27,507 --> 00:00:30,642 Discourse, we at fox have made 10 00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:34,012 The decision to use rhetoric 11 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:34,947 When discussing political 12 00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:35,714 Viewpoints, whether they be left 13 00:00:35,782 --> 00:00:36,548 Or right. 14 00:00:36,616 --> 00:00:39,051 Or in the center. 15 00:00:39,118 --> 00:00:40,752 Joining me on the panel today, 16 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:44,423 The host of the "sean hannity 17 00:00:44,490 --> 00:00:46,325 Show," sean hannity. 18 00:00:46,392 --> 00:00:47,893 Hello, sean. 19 00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:49,661 >> hello, greta. 20 00:00:49,729 --> 00:00:50,162 >> michelle. 21 00:00:50,230 --> 00:00:51,663 >> wonderful to be here, greta. 22 00:00:51,731 --> 00:00:54,433 >> also, host of "the glenn beck 23 00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,068 Show," glenn beck. 24 00:00:56,135 --> 00:00:56,501 Hello, glenn. 25 00:00:56,569 --> 00:00:58,303 >> I do not like this. 26 00:00:58,371 --> 00:00:59,938 >> you promised you'd try it, 27 00:01:00,006 --> 00:01:00,239 Glenn. 28 00:01:00,306 --> 00:01:02,641 >> fine. 29 00:01:02,709 --> 00:01:06,645 It's so wonderful to be here? 30 00:01:06,713 --> 00:01:08,847 >> okay. 31 00:01:08,915 --> 00:01:10,349 Let's get started. 32 00:01:10,416 --> 00:01:11,550 On Monday republicans in the 33 00:01:11,618 --> 00:01:13,318 House will get back to their 34 00:01:13,386 --> 00:01:15,320 Agenda, and first up is their 35 00:01:15,388 --> 00:01:20,259 Health care repeal bill titled 36 00:01:20,326 --> 00:01:21,693 Repealing the job-killing health 37 00:01:21,761 --> 00:01:22,194 Care act. 38 00:01:22,262 --> 00:01:23,729 Job killing? 39 00:01:23,796 --> 00:01:26,498 Is this an example of the heated 40 00:01:26,566 --> 00:01:28,967 Rhetoric we need to stay away 41 00:01:29,035 --> 00:01:29,368 From? 42 00:01:29,435 --> 00:01:30,569 >> yes. 43 00:01:30,637 --> 00:01:31,770 Perhaps job euthanizing? 44 00:01:31,838 --> 00:01:33,238 >> I would go with job choking 45 00:01:33,306 --> 00:01:35,907 Or freedom raping. 46 00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:38,210 >> they're taking our jobs and 47 00:01:38,278 --> 00:01:39,978 Giving them a lethal injection 48 00:01:40,046 --> 00:01:41,813 Of socialism that is poisoning 49 00:01:41,881 --> 00:01:43,382 Our economy and our freedom. 50 00:01:43,449 --> 00:01:44,816 >> oh, yeah. 51 00:01:44,884 --> 00:01:45,284 >> I like that. 52 00:01:45,351 --> 00:01:47,319 Okay. 53 00:01:47,387 --> 00:01:48,253 All right. 54 00:01:48,321 --> 00:01:48,553 Okay. 55 00:01:48,621 --> 00:01:50,856 So we agree, let's call it the 56 00:01:50,923 --> 00:01:52,391 Repealing the giving our jobs a 57 00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:53,659 Lethal injection of our 58 00:01:53,726 --> 00:01:55,827 Socialism and poisoning our 59 00:01:55,895 --> 00:01:57,195 Economy and raping our health 60 00:01:57,263 --> 00:01:57,496 Care. 61 00:01:57,563 --> 00:01:59,164 See, we can work together. 62 00:01:59,232 --> 00:02:00,766 Joining us now to illustrate our 63 00:02:00,833 --> 00:02:02,334 New civility, we have invited a 64 00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:04,636 Friend from that other network, 65 00:02:04,704 --> 00:02:10,042 Cnn -- oh -- james carville. 66 00:02:10,109 --> 00:02:14,946 >> hello, hello. 67 00:02:15,014 --> 00:02:16,214 [ applause ] 68 00:02:16,282 --> 00:02:17,449 >> let me get this straight. 69 00:02:17,517 --> 00:02:18,717 Fox news is now the civil polite 70 00:02:18,785 --> 00:02:19,051 Network? 71 00:02:19,118 --> 00:02:19,951 Is that right? 72 00:02:20,019 --> 00:02:21,920 >> that's right, james. 73 00:02:21,988 --> 00:02:24,990 And may I say, I look forward to 74 00:02:25,058 --> 00:02:30,829 A pleasant exchange of ideas. 75 00:02:30,897 --> 00:02:34,533 >> this is never going to work. 76 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,435 >> oh, it's going to work, james 77 00:02:36,502 --> 00:02:37,602 Because we at fox are committed 78 00:02:37,670 --> 00:02:38,670 To civility. 79 00:02:38,738 --> 00:02:40,205 >> ain't nobody here going to 80 00:02:40,273 --> 00:02:42,507 Lose their cool with me and call 81 00:02:42,575 --> 00:02:45,711 Me a bleeding-heart marxist? 82 00:02:45,778 --> 00:02:46,078 >> nope. 83 00:02:46,145 --> 00:02:46,645 >> nope. 84 00:02:46,713 --> 00:02:47,379 >> what was that, glenn? 85 00:02:47,447 --> 00:02:49,181 >> no. 86 00:02:49,248 --> 00:02:51,483 >> well, if that's the case, let 87 00:02:51,551 --> 00:02:53,018 Me tell you about my wonderful 88 00:02:53,086 --> 00:02:53,352 Day. 89 00:02:53,419 --> 00:02:57,222 I had a nice lunch with arianna 90 00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:58,156 Huffington and michael moore and 91 00:02:58,224 --> 00:03:00,125 My friend lucien. 92 00:03:00,193 --> 00:03:03,929 He's a gay soldier. 93 00:03:03,996 --> 00:03:06,131 We ate at a vegan restaurant. 94 00:03:06,199 --> 00:03:08,200 That means no animals got hurt. 95 00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:09,267 And that's important because 96 00:03:09,335 --> 00:03:10,268 Animals are really just people 97 00:03:10,336 --> 00:03:13,372 With fur. 98 00:03:13,439 --> 00:03:21,313 Isn't that nice, sean hannity? 99 00:03:21,381 --> 00:03:23,749 Then we went to the hospital and 100 00:03:23,816 --> 00:03:26,151 Under obama care, I got a free 101 00:03:26,219 --> 00:03:26,485 X-ray. 102 00:03:26,552 --> 00:03:28,687 I didn't need one, but since 103 00:03:28,755 --> 00:03:30,655 It's free, I'm going to take it. 104 00:03:30,723 --> 00:03:32,591 Turns out my skeleton looks just 105 00:03:32,658 --> 00:03:33,358 Like me. 106 00:03:33,426 --> 00:03:34,292 Ain't that funny? 107 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:36,395 >> am I the only one here -- 108 00:03:36,462 --> 00:03:39,464 >> glenn, it's not polite to cut 109 00:03:39,532 --> 00:03:42,234 Someone off. 110 00:03:42,301 --> 00:03:45,637 You should let people finish 111 00:03:45,705 --> 00:03:50,942 Their sen-ten-ces. 112 00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:52,244 Okay, I'm done. 113 00:03:52,311 --> 00:03:53,812 >> I'm not going to be baited by 114 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:54,379 You, james. 115 00:03:54,447 --> 00:03:56,448 I can be a fair and open-minded 116 00:03:56,516 --> 00:03:56,782 Person. 117 00:03:56,849 --> 00:03:58,016 Just two days ago I praised 118 00:03:58,084 --> 00:04:01,253 Obama for his speech. 119 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,155 You will not make me lose my 120 00:04:03,222 --> 00:04:03,455 Cool. 121 00:04:03,523 --> 00:04:05,457 >> good, glenn. 122 00:04:05,525 --> 00:04:06,725 Look who's using your studio. 123 00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,628 >> I'm rachel maddow. 124 00:04:09,695 --> 00:04:24,876 And look what I wrote. 125 00:04:24,944 --> 00:04:26,411 >> and the civility is over. 126 00:04:26,479 --> 00:04:27,112 But live from new york, it's 127 00:04:27,180 --> 00:04:34,619 Saturday night! 128 00:04:34,687 --> 00:04:35,320 >> announcer: It's "Saturday 129 00:04:35,388 --> 00:04:42,894 Night live"! 130 00:04:42,962 --> 00:04:46,865 With fred armisen 131 00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:54,139 Abby elliott 132 00:04:54,207 --> 00:04:59,978 Bill hader 133 00:05:00,046 --> 00:05:05,717 Seth meyers 134 00:05:05,785 --> 00:05:11,857 Bobby moynihan 135 00:05:11,924 --> 00:05:16,261 Andy samberg 136 00:05:16,329 --> 00:05:22,200 Jason sudeikis 137 00:05:22,268 --> 00:05:28,840 Kenan thompson 138 00:05:28,908 --> 00:05:40,585 Kristen wiig featuring -- 139 00:05:40,653 --> 00:05:44,055 Vanessa bayer 140 00:05:44,123 --> 00:05:48,260 Paul brittain 141 00:05:48,327 --> 00:05:55,600 Taran killam 142 00:05:55,668 --> 00:06:01,773 Nasim pedrad 143 00:06:01,841 --> 00:06:07,445 Jay pharoah 144 00:06:07,513 --> 00:06:10,282 Musical guest cee lo green 145 00:06:10,349 --> 00:06:15,687 And your host, gwyneth paltrow! 146 00:06:15,755 --> 00:06:16,555 Ladies and gentlemen, gwyneth 147 00:06:16,622 --> 00:06:18,823 Paltrow! 148 00:06:33,291 --> 00:06:34,892 >>> thank you! 149 00:06:34,959 --> 00:06:37,094 [ cheers and applause ] 150 00:06:37,161 --> 00:06:37,461 Thank you. 151 00:06:37,529 --> 00:06:38,662 Thank you so much. 152 00:06:38,730 --> 00:06:40,964 Wow! 153 00:06:41,032 --> 00:06:42,466 It is a thrill and an honor to 154 00:06:42,534 --> 00:06:43,233 Be back hosting "Saturday night 155 00:06:43,301 --> 00:06:46,270 Live." 156 00:06:46,337 --> 00:06:48,705 So much has changed since I last 157 00:06:48,773 --> 00:06:49,039 Hosted. 158 00:06:49,107 --> 00:06:51,375 I moved to london. 159 00:06:51,442 --> 00:06:52,509 So I took some time off to be 160 00:06:52,577 --> 00:06:55,312 British. 161 00:06:55,380 --> 00:06:55,946 Which was smashing and 162 00:06:56,014 --> 00:06:58,749 Brilliant. 163 00:06:58,816 --> 00:07:01,018 And now I am starring in a film 164 00:07:01,085 --> 00:07:03,020 Called "country strong." 165 00:07:03,087 --> 00:07:03,754 [ cheers and applause ] 166 00:07:03,821 --> 00:07:07,891 Thank you. 167 00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:11,361 I play a down-on-her-luck 168 00:07:11,429 --> 00:07:11,995 Country singer. 169 00:07:12,063 --> 00:07:13,297 I actually recorded a song and 170 00:07:13,364 --> 00:07:14,765 Had the honor of performing it 171 00:07:14,832 --> 00:07:16,833 At "the country music awards." 172 00:07:16,901 --> 00:07:18,602 [ cheers and applause ] 173 00:07:18,670 --> 00:07:20,871 I learned so much about country 174 00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:21,204 Music. 175 00:07:21,272 --> 00:07:22,272 I studied it for months and 176 00:07:22,340 --> 00:07:22,606 Months. 177 00:07:22,674 --> 00:07:24,675 And I've really come to love it. 178 00:07:24,742 --> 00:07:27,377 All the old-school greats like 179 00:07:27,445 --> 00:07:30,581 Johnny cash and, um, roy -- roy 180 00:07:30,648 --> 00:07:32,950 Something. 181 00:07:33,017 --> 00:07:34,351 Oh, the lady with the hair and 182 00:07:34,419 --> 00:07:37,554 The big boobs. 183 00:07:37,622 --> 00:07:38,989 I know them all. 184 00:07:39,057 --> 00:07:40,824 I really, really immersed myself 185 00:07:40,892 --> 00:07:41,158 In it. 186 00:07:41,225 --> 00:07:43,894 And it became my life. 187 00:07:43,962 --> 00:07:44,628 >> I hope I'm not interrupting 188 00:07:44,696 --> 00:07:45,462 Anything. 189 00:07:45,530 --> 00:07:46,763 >> wow! 190 00:07:46,831 --> 00:07:48,665 Garth brooks! 191 00:07:48,733 --> 00:07:49,733 >> kenny rogers. 192 00:07:49,801 --> 00:07:50,534 Kenny rogers. 193 00:07:50,602 --> 00:07:51,635 >> kenny rogers. 194 00:07:51,703 --> 00:07:52,135 >> yeah. 195 00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:53,203 >> the country singer. 196 00:07:53,271 --> 00:07:53,870 >> mm-hmm. 197 00:07:53,938 --> 00:07:54,738 >> I knew that. 198 00:07:54,806 --> 00:07:55,372 >> yeah. 199 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:56,673 So gwyneth, you really know your 200 00:07:56,741 --> 00:07:59,009 Country music, huh? 201 00:07:59,077 --> 00:08:05,115 >> does a chigger sit on a dune 202 00:08:05,183 --> 00:08:06,516 Bug gay? 203 00:08:06,584 --> 00:08:07,217 >> 204 00:08:09,454 --> 00:08:09,720 Buggy? 205 00:08:09,787 --> 00:08:11,388 >> no, it does not. 206 00:08:11,456 --> 00:08:14,358 I'd be honored if you help me 207 00:08:14,425 --> 00:08:15,892 Sing my most famous duet. 208 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,195 The one I performed with dolly 209 00:08:18,262 --> 00:08:21,732 Parton which, of course, is? 210 00:08:21,799 --> 00:08:23,033 "islands in the stream." 211 00:08:23,101 --> 00:08:24,434 You know that one, right? 212 00:08:24,502 --> 00:08:29,439 >> vof course, I know "islands n 213 00:08:29,507 --> 00:08:31,341 The stream." 214 00:08:31,409 --> 00:08:32,609 Hit it, y'all. 215 00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,611 >> real strong on the y'all. 216 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,913 ♪ baby when I met you there was 217 00:08:36,981 --> 00:08:38,348 Peace unknown ♪ 218 00:08:38,416 --> 00:08:42,953 ♪ I set out to get you with a 219 00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:44,087 Fine-tooth comb ♪ 220 00:08:44,155 --> 00:08:50,227 ♪ there was something going on ♪ 221 00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:50,560 Come on. 222 00:08:50,628 --> 00:08:55,432 You know it. 223 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:56,633 ♪ you something something ♪ 224 00:08:56,701 --> 00:09:00,537 ♪ sitting by the river hanging 225 00:09:00,605 --> 00:09:00,937 Around ♪ 226 00:09:01,005 --> 00:09:02,706 ♪ every beat of my heart ♪ 227 00:09:02,774 --> 00:09:08,211 ♪ we got something going on ♪ 228 00:09:08,279 --> 00:09:10,047 ♪ islands in the stream ♪ 229 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:11,181 >> not yet. 230 00:09:11,249 --> 00:09:12,382 >> I know. 231 00:09:12,450 --> 00:09:15,385 I know. 232 00:09:15,453 --> 00:09:20,090 ♪ the love is right ♪ 233 00:09:20,158 --> 00:09:21,291 >> do you have the words on the 234 00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:21,858 Screen? 235 00:09:21,926 --> 00:09:24,161 I know the words, but it's kind 236 00:09:24,228 --> 00:09:24,528 Of old. 237 00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:26,930 I need it for reference. 238 00:09:26,998 --> 00:09:28,498 We had cue cards up. 239 00:09:28,566 --> 00:09:30,400 Oh, wait, I know this part. 240 00:09:30,468 --> 00:09:32,235 ♪ islands in the stream ♪ 241 00:09:32,303 --> 00:09:33,637 >> there we go. 242 00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:35,772 ♪ that is what we are ♪ 243 00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:38,475 ♪ we are in the stream ♪ 244 00:09:38,543 --> 00:09:40,844 ♪ and it's a perfect stream ♪ 245 00:09:40,912 --> 00:09:42,913 ♪ it's my favorite stream ♪ 246 00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:44,648 ♪ because we are both in it ♪ 247 00:09:44,716 --> 00:09:46,650 ♪ and we rely on each other ♪ 248 00:09:46,718 --> 00:09:47,517 ♪ uh-huh ♪ 249 00:09:47,585 --> 00:09:49,119 ♪ from one lover to another ♪ 250 00:09:49,187 --> 00:09:52,322 ♪ uh-huh ♪ 251 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,957 >> ladies and gentlemen, dolly 252 00:09:54,025 --> 00:09:54,291 Parton! 253 00:09:54,358 --> 00:10:02,199 >> oh, thank god. 254 00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:02,566 >> okay. 255 00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:05,802 Bye, y'all! 256 00:10:05,870 --> 00:10:06,803 >> whoa, whoa, whoa, just a 257 00:10:06,871 --> 00:10:10,440 Minute. 258 00:10:10,508 --> 00:10:10,874 >> thank you. 259 00:10:10,942 --> 00:10:14,044 Thank you. 260 00:10:14,112 --> 00:10:15,178 Now, I don't mean to interrupt 261 00:10:15,246 --> 00:10:15,679 You two. 262 00:10:15,747 --> 00:10:17,147 >> no, no, interrupt. 263 00:10:17,215 --> 00:10:17,714 It's fine. 264 00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:19,983 >> gwyneth, darling, you did 265 00:10:20,051 --> 00:10:21,318 Such a great job performing my 266 00:10:21,385 --> 00:10:23,520 Song on "glee." 267 00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:25,355 [ cheers and applause ] 268 00:10:25,423 --> 00:10:27,090 >> I thought that it would be 269 00:10:27,158 --> 00:10:28,692 Cool to sing something together. 270 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:29,826 >> yes. 271 00:10:29,894 --> 00:10:30,360 Great! 272 00:10:30,428 --> 00:10:32,529 "forget you"? 273 00:10:32,597 --> 00:10:34,931 Should we do "forget you"? 274 00:10:34,999 --> 00:10:36,566 >> no, I think we should do 275 00:10:36,634 --> 00:10:37,501 "islands in the stream." 276 00:10:37,568 --> 00:10:39,336 >> come on, gwyneth, you know 277 00:10:39,403 --> 00:10:39,836 The words. 278 00:10:39,904 --> 00:10:40,337 >> oh, all right. 279 00:10:40,404 --> 00:10:44,007 Hit it! 280 00:10:44,075 --> 00:10:45,842 ♪ islands in the stream ♪ 281 00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:47,778 ♪ that is what we are ♪ 282 00:10:47,845 --> 00:10:50,046 ♪ no one in between ♪ 283 00:10:50,114 --> 00:10:52,415 ♪ how can we be wrong ♪ 284 00:10:52,483 --> 00:10:54,618 ♪ sail away with me ♪ 285 00:10:54,685 --> 00:10:57,154 ♪ to another world ♪ 286 00:10:57,221 --> 00:11:00,724 ♪ and we rely on each other ♪ 287 00:11:00,792 --> 00:11:01,658 ♪ uh-huh ♪ 288 00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,261 ♪ from one lover to another ♪ 289 00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:11,501 ♪ uh-huh ♪ 290 00:11:11,569 --> 00:11:20,310 [ cheers and applause ] 291 00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:22,445 >>> the viewers have spoken, and 292 00:11:22,513 --> 00:11:24,681 Some of them said, we'd like to 293 00:11:24,749 --> 00:11:28,118 Take the all-new nbc show about 294 00:11:28,186 --> 00:11:29,619 The man who gets his super 295 00:11:29,687 --> 00:11:31,621 Powers from a magical cape. 296 00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:33,757 If you like superheroes who get 297 00:11:33,825 --> 00:11:35,492 Their power from items of 298 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:38,461 Clothing, you'll like "scarf." 299 00:11:38,529 --> 00:11:39,830 She used to think crime was a 300 00:11:39,897 --> 00:11:42,265 Real pain in the neck until she 301 00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:43,300 Discovered "the scarf." 302 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,001 >> crime better bundle up. 303 00:11:45,069 --> 00:11:46,436 >> only on nbc. 304 00:11:46,504 --> 00:11:48,905 >> and the mild-mannered painter 305 00:11:48,973 --> 00:11:50,440 Until he was framed for murder. 306 00:11:50,508 --> 00:11:51,708 Now when crime gets dirty, throw 307 00:11:51,776 --> 00:11:55,212 On "the smock." 308 00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,580 And that's not all. 309 00:11:56,647 --> 00:11:58,448 When jeff nelson's dance studio 310 00:11:58,516 --> 00:12:01,685 Blew up in 1983, he lost 311 00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:02,686 Everything except "the 312 00:12:02,753 --> 00:12:07,023 Legwarmer." 313 00:12:07,091 --> 00:12:10,527 He's kicking crime's ass with a 314 00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:11,328 Warmed-up calf. 315 00:12:11,395 --> 00:12:12,863 Also coming soon to nbc, "the 316 00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:17,100 Sleep mask." 317 00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:18,768 >> who's there? 318 00:12:18,836 --> 00:12:31,781 >> the bolo tie. 319 00:12:31,849 --> 00:12:35,652 And "the water bottle holder." 320 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,420 When crime gets thirsty, blast 321 00:12:37,488 --> 00:12:40,523 Some water on it. 322 00:12:40,591 --> 00:12:42,926 "the scrunchy." 323 00:12:42,994 --> 00:12:45,562 It's a dude. 324 00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:50,867 The television event of 2011. 325 00:12:50,935 --> 00:12:52,035 >> my secret identity is someone 326 00:12:52,103 --> 00:12:57,641 Slightly fatter than this. 327 00:12:57,708 --> 00:12:59,509 Nbc, take it or leave it. 328 00:12:59,577 --> 00:13:03,380 [ cheers and applause ] 329 00:13:26,176 --> 00:13:27,776 >>> and now it's time to play 330 00:13:27,844 --> 00:13:30,145 The game the stars play, "secret 331 00:13:30,213 --> 00:13:33,282 Word" with your host, lyle 332 00:13:33,349 --> 00:13:33,949 Rounds. 333 00:13:34,017 --> 00:13:38,453 >> hello. 334 00:13:38,521 --> 00:13:39,021 I'm lyle rounds. 335 00:13:39,088 --> 00:13:39,621 [ cheers and applause ] 336 00:13:39,689 --> 00:13:40,322 My wife is at a bra burning 337 00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:40,656 Today. 338 00:13:40,723 --> 00:13:41,423 She said she was just going to 339 00:13:41,491 --> 00:13:41,723 Watch. 340 00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:42,424 When I get home, I better not 341 00:13:42,492 --> 00:13:42,925 Smell bra smoke. 342 00:13:42,992 --> 00:13:43,225 Okay. 343 00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:43,792 Why don't we meet our 344 00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:44,459 Celebrities. 345 00:13:44,527 --> 00:13:45,594 She's better known for her work 346 00:13:45,662 --> 00:13:47,029 On the broadway stage, please 347 00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:48,130 Welcome mindy elise greyson! 348 00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:51,266 [ cheers and applause ] 349 00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:52,701 >> oh, hello! 350 00:13:52,769 --> 00:13:53,535 Oh, I am thrilled to be seen 351 00:13:53,603 --> 00:13:54,970 Here by all of you. 352 00:13:55,038 --> 00:13:57,372 Isn't it a dream? 353 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:00,342 >> oh. 354 00:14:00,410 --> 00:14:01,410 So mindy, you're looking lovely. 355 00:14:01,477 --> 00:14:03,111 Lovely. 356 00:14:03,179 --> 00:14:04,413 >> oh, thank you, lyle. 357 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,747 I painted my teeth and pulled my 358 00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:08,016 Neck back with scotch tape. 359 00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:08,584 >> terrific. 360 00:14:08,651 --> 00:14:08,984 All right. 361 00:14:09,052 --> 00:14:10,819 Our next guest is a socialite 362 00:14:10,887 --> 00:14:12,087 And writes for "soiree" 363 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:18,493 Magazine. 364 00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:20,929 Please welcome ms. Tomlinson. 365 00:14:20,997 --> 00:14:22,331 >> isn't this smashing? 366 00:14:22,398 --> 00:14:26,568 Tonight is going to be a smash 367 00:14:26,636 --> 00:14:27,870 And another smash and a half. 368 00:14:27,937 --> 00:14:29,271 >> two full smashes. 369 00:14:29,339 --> 00:14:31,006 All right, ladies, are you ready 370 00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:31,840 To play the game? 371 00:14:31,908 --> 00:14:34,643 >> I play the most marvelous 372 00:14:34,711 --> 00:14:35,878 Game last night. 373 00:14:35,945 --> 00:14:39,181 It's called "where's truman 374 00:14:39,249 --> 00:14:41,283 Capote's index finger?" 375 00:14:41,351 --> 00:14:44,720 We all watched truman bend over 376 00:14:44,787 --> 00:14:45,621 And -- 377 00:14:45,688 --> 00:14:46,755 >> it's all right. 378 00:14:46,823 --> 00:14:47,389 It's all right. 379 00:14:47,457 --> 00:14:47,856 It's all right. 380 00:14:47,924 --> 00:14:48,457 Enough of that. 381 00:14:48,524 --> 00:14:49,057 Enough of that. 382 00:14:49,125 --> 00:14:51,693 Let's meet your game partner. 383 00:14:51,761 --> 00:14:54,129 >> my game butler, perfect. 384 00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:57,032 I'm dying for a cocktail. 385 00:14:57,100 --> 00:14:59,568 >> no, he's not a butler. 386 00:14:59,636 --> 00:15:00,836 He's here to play the game. 387 00:15:00,904 --> 00:15:02,204 >> I'm so sorry. 388 00:15:02,272 --> 00:15:03,872 By the way, I'm a huge fan of 389 00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:08,243 Nat king cole. 390 00:15:08,311 --> 00:15:11,013 >> all righty. 391 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,181 We start the game. 392 00:15:13,249 --> 00:15:14,116 Mindy, are you ready? 393 00:15:14,183 --> 00:15:16,485 >> don't ask an actress if she's 394 00:15:16,552 --> 00:15:17,953 Ready unless you want to get a 395 00:15:18,021 --> 00:15:19,021 Face full of here we go! 396 00:15:19,088 --> 00:15:19,488 >> okay. 397 00:15:19,555 --> 00:15:24,660 Okay. 398 00:15:24,727 --> 00:15:25,360 >> the secret word is grab. 399 00:15:25,428 --> 00:15:26,094 >> ten seconds on the clock. 400 00:15:26,162 --> 00:15:26,595 >> oh, I'm sorry. 401 00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:27,195 Can we stop the clock? 402 00:15:27,263 --> 00:15:27,896 I need to disqualify myself. 403 00:15:27,964 --> 00:15:28,597 I think I just saw the secret 404 00:15:28,665 --> 00:15:29,531 Word. 405 00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:30,365 >> you're supposed to see it. 406 00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:31,233 You're giving the clues. 407 00:15:31,301 --> 00:15:39,374 >> oh. 408 00:15:39,442 --> 00:15:39,841 >> climbing. 409 00:15:39,909 --> 00:15:40,142 Swim. 410 00:15:40,209 --> 00:15:42,177 Hair. 411 00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,413 >> mindy, you're allowed to 412 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:45,180 Speak. 413 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:45,614 >> oh, good. 414 00:15:45,682 --> 00:15:47,916 Grab. 415 00:15:47,984 --> 00:15:48,784 [ buzzer ] 416 00:15:48,851 --> 00:15:49,351 [ laughter ] 417 00:15:49,419 --> 00:15:51,053 [ applause ] 418 00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:51,820 >> no, that was the incorrect 419 00:15:51,888 --> 00:15:52,154 Buzzer. 420 00:15:52,221 --> 00:15:52,854 >> oh, it wasn't the correct 421 00:15:52,922 --> 00:15:53,188 Buzzer? 422 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:53,889 >> no, it wasn't. 423 00:15:53,957 --> 00:15:55,791 You said the secret word. 424 00:15:55,858 --> 00:15:57,492 >> I did. 425 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,161 I said grab. 426 00:15:59,228 --> 00:15:59,928 There are no secret words to an 427 00:15:59,996 --> 00:16:02,864 Actress. 428 00:16:02,932 --> 00:16:05,734 I see the word and I explore it 429 00:16:05,802 --> 00:16:06,435 Just like I do nightly in the 430 00:16:06,502 --> 00:16:07,169 Hit play "becky became trashy." 431 00:16:07,236 --> 00:16:08,003 The story of a preacher's 432 00:16:08,071 --> 00:16:10,005 Daughter who went from spreading 433 00:16:10,073 --> 00:16:10,739 The good word to spreading her 434 00:16:10,807 --> 00:16:11,707 Bad knees. 435 00:16:11,774 --> 00:16:12,574 [ laughter ] 436 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:14,843 "becky became trashy." 437 00:16:14,911 --> 00:16:16,545 Rex reed called it "what?" 438 00:16:16,612 --> 00:16:21,783 [ laughter ] 439 00:16:21,851 --> 00:16:22,951 >> all right. 440 00:16:23,019 --> 00:16:23,685 Now, let's move over to tipsy's 441 00:16:23,753 --> 00:16:28,390 Team. 442 00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:30,058 >> oh, this is going to be a 443 00:16:30,126 --> 00:16:31,893 Hoot and two third of another 444 00:16:31,961 --> 00:16:36,999 Hoot. 445 00:16:37,066 --> 00:16:39,401 >> let's begin. 446 00:16:39,469 --> 00:16:42,804 >> the secret word is cream. 447 00:16:42,872 --> 00:16:45,941 >> it's on the menu. 448 00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:46,575 >> I've never been there. 449 00:16:46,642 --> 00:16:50,112 >> you haven't? 450 00:16:50,179 --> 00:16:51,413 >> I believe you, but I've never 451 00:16:51,481 --> 00:16:53,715 Been there. 452 00:16:53,783 --> 00:16:56,952 >> when you do, make sure you 453 00:16:57,020 --> 00:16:58,720 Get the cream glaze. 454 00:16:58,788 --> 00:16:59,454 I just said the first word for 455 00:16:59,522 --> 00:17:00,789 Cream. 456 00:17:00,857 --> 00:17:03,358 [ buzzer ] 457 00:17:03,426 --> 00:17:04,459 >> you said the secret word. 458 00:17:04,527 --> 00:17:06,762 >> your partner is a professor 459 00:17:06,829 --> 00:17:08,263 Of urology. 460 00:17:08,331 --> 00:17:10,032 >> I'd like to remind my 461 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:14,469 Students we're having a quiz on 462 00:17:14,537 --> 00:17:15,237 Aspa 463 00:17:15,304 --> 00:17:19,007 Asparagus tomorrow. 464 00:17:19,075 --> 00:17:21,309 >> mback to mindy, remember, 465 00:17:21,377 --> 00:17:22,778 Don't say the secret word. 466 00:17:22,845 --> 00:17:23,712 >> don't worry. 467 00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:25,380 I'll be as quiet as my agent 468 00:17:25,448 --> 00:17:26,848 When I call her on the phone. 469 00:17:26,916 --> 00:17:28,116 >> ten seconds on the clock. 470 00:17:28,184 --> 00:17:31,820 >> the secret word is soup. 471 00:17:31,888 --> 00:17:33,889 >> remember, mindy, don't say 472 00:17:33,956 --> 00:17:34,689 The secret word. 473 00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:39,027 >> I'm not a child, lyle. 474 00:17:39,095 --> 00:17:39,828 >> suit. 475 00:17:39,896 --> 00:17:43,732 >> mindy. 476 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,935 >> I failed just like I did in a 477 00:17:47,003 --> 00:17:48,003 Musical that closed before the 478 00:17:48,071 --> 00:17:50,405 Curtain got all the way up. 479 00:17:50,473 --> 00:17:51,039 Here is the 11:00 number. 480 00:17:51,107 --> 00:17:56,211 Hit it. 481 00:17:56,279 --> 00:17:56,812 ♪ bombay pam and the 482 00:17:56,879 --> 00:17:57,345 Flatbread gang 483 00:17:57,413 --> 00:17:59,047 Making lots of mad ♪ 484 00:17:59,115 --> 00:18:04,152 ♪ 485 00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:06,822 >> sit down. 486 00:18:06,889 --> 00:18:11,426 Sit down. 487 00:18:11,494 --> 00:18:12,027 >> oh. 488 00:18:12,095 --> 00:18:12,794 >> not only has this been bee's 489 00:18:12,862 --> 00:18:13,528 Knees, it's been the entire bee 490 00:18:13,596 --> 00:18:15,163 Leg. 491 00:18:15,231 --> 00:18:15,997 >> well, we'll be right back 492 00:18:16,065 --> 00:18:18,166 After a word from johnson & 493 00:18:18,234 --> 00:18:20,135 Johnson baby cages. 494 00:18:20,203 --> 00:18:22,971 Keep your baby out of harm's way 495 00:18:23,039 --> 00:18:25,207 In a small cage. 496 00:18:36,819 --> 00:18:38,954 >>> hey. 497 00:18:39,021 --> 00:18:39,821 >> excuse me. 498 00:18:39,872 --> 00:18:41,123 You know what time it is? 499 00:18:41,190 --> 00:18:43,758 >> time for you to get a watch. 500 00:18:43,826 --> 00:18:45,494 >> oh, my gosh. 501 00:18:45,545 --> 00:18:46,394 I'm such a big fan. 502 00:18:46,462 --> 00:18:48,196 >> I know you are, but what am 503 00:18:48,264 --> 00:18:48,463 I? 504 00:18:48,531 --> 00:18:49,247 >> hey, you've got to let me buy 505 00:18:49,332 --> 00:18:51,699 You a drink. 506 00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:54,669 >> I usually just stick with 507 00:18:54,720 --> 00:18:54,970 Milk. 508 00:18:55,037 --> 00:18:56,138 >> I guess just this once. 509 00:18:56,205 --> 00:18:57,239 >> awesome. 510 00:18:57,306 --> 00:18:57,839 Excuse me, bartender? 511 00:18:57,890 --> 00:19:08,016 Shots. 512 00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:08,350 ♪ 513 00:19:08,401 --> 00:19:09,084 >> two more. 514 00:19:09,152 --> 00:19:15,323 Two more! 515 00:19:15,391 --> 00:19:16,691 >> more dri 516 00:19:16,742 --> 00:19:17,242 ♪ more drinks ♪ 517 00:19:17,326 --> 00:19:18,276 ♪ more drinks ♪ 518 00:19:18,361 --> 00:19:19,394 >> tequila! 519 00:19:19,445 --> 00:19:29,904 ♪ 520 00:19:29,956 --> 00:19:32,407 ♪ tequila ♪ 521 00:19:32,458 --> 00:19:33,275 >> that was the best night of my 522 00:19:33,342 --> 00:19:35,410 Life, andy. 523 00:19:35,461 --> 00:19:35,977 >> hey, look. 524 00:19:36,045 --> 00:19:39,848 It's anderson cooper. 525 00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:41,416 >> you know him? 526 00:19:41,467 --> 00:19:41,967 >> yeah. 527 00:19:42,051 --> 00:19:42,884 Hey, anderson. 528 00:19:42,935 --> 00:19:45,303 >> hey, andy, how's it going? 529 00:19:45,388 --> 00:19:50,642 >> can I ask you a question? 530 00:19:50,726 --> 00:19:52,694 Are you guys going to hook up? 531 00:19:52,761 --> 00:20:05,340 >> is that a joke? 532 00:20:05,408 --> 00:20:05,740 [ bleep ] 533 00:20:05,791 --> 00:20:06,774 >> is there a problem, officer? 534 00:20:06,826 --> 00:20:07,409 >> you boys been drinking 535 00:20:07,476 --> 00:20:11,246 Tonight? 536 00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:12,581 I'm going to have to give you a 537 00:20:12,632 --> 00:20:14,883 Breathalyzer test. 538 00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:17,669 When I say blow. 539 00:20:17,753 --> 00:20:30,065 >> I had one drink. 540 00:20:30,132 --> 00:20:31,066 >> did you see the look on his 541 00:20:31,133 --> 00:20:33,301 Face? 542 00:20:33,369 --> 00:20:35,437 >> hey, what are you guys doing 543 00:20:35,488 --> 00:20:35,904 Here? 544 00:20:35,972 --> 00:20:39,307 >> this is an intervention, 545 00:20:39,375 --> 00:20:39,608 Andy. 546 00:20:39,659 --> 00:20:40,692 >> we're just trying to have 547 00:20:40,776 --> 00:20:41,509 Some fun. 548 00:20:41,577 --> 00:20:43,194 >> he's not the only one with 549 00:20:43,279 --> 00:20:44,329 The problem, pee-wee. 550 00:20:44,413 --> 00:20:46,047 Your friends are here, too. 551 00:20:46,115 --> 00:20:46,715 >> jerry? 552 00:20:46,782 --> 00:20:49,017 >> oh, pee-wee. 553 00:20:49,085 --> 00:20:52,921 >> you're a b-b-bad influence on 554 00:20:52,989 --> 00:20:53,355 Each other. 555 00:20:53,422 --> 00:20:53,822 >> we are not. 556 00:20:53,889 --> 00:20:57,192 >> oh, really? 557 00:20:57,260 --> 00:20:59,027 >> hey, anderson. 558 00:20:59,095 --> 00:21:01,062 >> you hit me in the eye. 559 00:21:01,130 --> 00:21:02,264 Do you know what happened if I 560 00:21:02,331 --> 00:21:03,381 Lost these eyes? 561 00:21:03,449 --> 00:21:06,901 They're a national treasure. 562 00:21:06,969 --> 00:21:08,303 >> they are -- that would be 563 00:21:08,371 --> 00:21:08,670 Terrible. 564 00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:09,904 >> you guys can't hang out 565 00:21:09,972 --> 00:21:11,106 Together anymore. 566 00:21:11,173 --> 00:21:12,007 Why don't you take a moment to 567 00:21:12,074 --> 00:21:12,607 Say good-bye. 568 00:21:12,675 --> 00:21:14,709 >> okay. 569 00:21:14,777 --> 00:21:16,911 Good-bye, andy. 570 00:21:16,979 --> 00:21:19,881 >> it was fun while it lasted. 571 00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:22,250 Even though you're a bad 572 00:21:22,318 --> 00:21:23,785 Influence, you're a great 573 00:21:23,852 --> 00:21:24,119 Friend. 574 00:21:24,186 --> 00:21:24,886 >> I know you are. 575 00:21:24,954 --> 00:21:31,409 But what am I? 576 00:21:31,494 --> 00:21:36,715 >> you stole my line. 577 00:21:36,799 --> 00:21:45,473 >> yea! 578 00:21:45,541 --> 00:21:47,409 >> drink! 579 00:21:47,476 --> 00:21:49,311 Shots! 580 00:22:17,645 --> 00:22:18,311 >>> this is a very exciting day 581 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:18,912 For my bar mitzvah boy. 582 00:22:18,980 --> 00:22:19,579 Excuse me, bar mitzvah man. 583 00:22:19,647 --> 00:22:19,946 Jacob. 584 00:22:20,014 --> 00:22:20,680 And I believe he has something 585 00:22:20,748 --> 00:22:21,081 To say. 586 00:22:21,149 --> 00:22:21,781 Maybe he wants to thank some 587 00:22:21,849 --> 00:22:22,516 People. 588 00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:26,219 Come on, don't be shy. 589 00:22:26,287 --> 00:22:28,788 >> thank you for attending 590 00:22:28,856 --> 00:22:31,892 Jacob's rocking bar mitzvah. 591 00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:32,459 [ light laughter ] 592 00:22:32,527 --> 00:22:33,160 Having you all here makes it 593 00:22:33,227 --> 00:22:37,030 Really top of the charts. 594 00:22:37,098 --> 00:22:37,597 [ light laughter ] 595 00:22:37,665 --> 00:22:41,034 >> that's clever. 596 00:22:41,102 --> 00:22:43,603 Now, as some of you may know, 597 00:22:43,671 --> 00:22:44,838 Jacob's uncle aaron is a big 598 00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:46,339 Shot in the music biz, so we 599 00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:47,941 Were able to get a rocking guest 600 00:22:48,009 --> 00:22:50,143 To celebrate jacob's big day. 601 00:22:50,211 --> 00:22:51,344 Please welcome the one and only 602 00:22:51,412 --> 00:22:54,347 Taylor swift! 603 00:22:54,415 --> 00:22:54,915 [ applause ] 604 00:22:54,982 --> 00:22:57,751 >> hey, y'all. 605 00:22:57,818 --> 00:22:59,052 >> hey, jacob. 606 00:22:59,120 --> 00:22:59,786 Thank you so much for having me. 607 00:22:59,854 --> 00:23:01,054 Y'all are awesome. 608 00:23:01,122 --> 00:23:01,922 I'm a foot taller than the 609 00:23:01,989 --> 00:23:04,457 Tallest man here. 610 00:23:04,525 --> 00:23:05,058 [ laughter ] 611 00:23:05,126 --> 00:23:06,193 Okay. 612 00:23:06,260 --> 00:23:07,928 I'm going to play one of my 613 00:23:07,995 --> 00:23:08,628 Hits, but with a bar mitzvah 614 00:23:08,696 --> 00:23:10,463 Twist. 615 00:23:10,531 --> 00:23:14,134 ♪ 616 00:23:14,202 --> 00:23:16,136 ♪ he's in synagogue 617 00:23:16,204 --> 00:23:18,972 With his new braces on 618 00:23:19,040 --> 00:23:20,106 Sitting with no mirrors 619 00:23:20,174 --> 00:23:21,274 To put makeup on ♪ 620 00:23:21,342 --> 00:23:22,976 ♪ doesn't get your 621 00:23:23,044 --> 00:23:24,978 Mel brooks humor 622 00:23:25,046 --> 00:23:28,949 Like I do ♪ 623 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:31,218 ♪ he wears macy's 624 00:23:31,285 --> 00:23:32,919 I wear lowman's 625 00:23:32,987 --> 00:23:34,354 He wears filene's and I wear 626 00:23:34,422 --> 00:23:36,890 Filene's basement ♪ 627 00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:42,862 ♪ can't you see 628 00:23:42,930 --> 00:23:43,730 He's just a j-a-p 629 00:23:43,798 --> 00:23:47,500 Not like japanese ♪ 630 00:23:47,568 --> 00:23:48,435 Thanks, y'all! 631 00:23:48,502 --> 00:23:55,308 [ applause ] 632 00:23:55,376 --> 00:23:57,544 >> the lovely taylor swift. 633 00:23:57,612 --> 00:23:59,946 After that performance, no one's 634 00:24:00,014 --> 00:24:00,714 Going to remember you fainted in 635 00:24:00,781 --> 00:24:02,048 Temple. 636 00:24:02,116 --> 00:24:02,882 >> dad. 637 00:24:02,950 --> 00:24:04,017 >> now, uh, while we have a 638 00:24:04,085 --> 00:24:04,718 Lull, let me say some of the 639 00:24:04,785 --> 00:24:05,385 Older kids are bending the 640 00:24:05,453 --> 00:24:05,719 Forks. 641 00:24:05,786 --> 00:24:08,555 Do not bend the forks. 642 00:24:08,623 --> 00:24:09,422 Kids who bend forks ought to be 643 00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:12,826 Locked up in the bronx zoo. 644 00:24:12,893 --> 00:24:13,560 Now, if you can believe it, we 645 00:24:13,628 --> 00:24:17,897 Have another amazing guest, 646 00:24:17,965 --> 00:24:19,766 Mr. "z," mr. Jay-z! 647 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:20,200 [ applause ] 648 00:24:20,268 --> 00:24:20,600 >> yeah. 649 00:24:20,668 --> 00:24:22,902 Yeah. 650 00:24:22,970 --> 00:24:23,236 Uh-huh. 651 00:24:23,304 --> 00:24:24,170 Yeah. 652 00:24:24,238 --> 00:24:28,908 Hey. 653 00:24:28,976 --> 00:24:30,677 You may asking what am I doing 654 00:24:30,745 --> 00:24:33,179 At a bar mitzvah? 655 00:24:33,247 --> 00:24:33,780 Well, you know, I got a 656 00:24:33,848 --> 00:24:34,514 Expensive coffee table book out. 657 00:24:34,582 --> 00:24:35,148 I've been appearing on 658 00:24:35,216 --> 00:24:35,582 Charlie rose. 659 00:24:35,650 --> 00:24:36,383 It's all a part of my new image. 660 00:24:36,450 --> 00:24:36,783 Less black. 661 00:24:36,851 --> 00:24:39,052 Hit it. 662 00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:41,021 Yeah. 663 00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,122 ♪ while we read the torah 664 00:24:42,189 --> 00:24:42,822 Just to learn the word of god 665 00:24:42,890 --> 00:24:43,456 Straight from deuteronomy 666 00:24:43,524 --> 00:24:45,558 Most about astronomy ♪ 667 00:24:45,626 --> 00:24:46,126 ♪ libra 668 00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:47,827 I'm straight up with ya 669 00:24:47,895 --> 00:24:49,529 Ain't enough 670 00:24:49,597 --> 00:24:51,531 You've got to -- ♪ 671 00:24:51,599 --> 00:24:52,966 ♪ dirty ass shelters 672 00:24:53,034 --> 00:24:54,100 Don't defy yahweh 673 00:24:54,168 --> 00:24:55,235 Because this man's selfish ♪ 674 00:24:55,303 --> 00:24:56,069 ♪ yeah 675 00:24:56,137 --> 00:24:58,805 Ladies and gentlemen 676 00:24:58,873 --> 00:25:03,343 Yeah alicia keys yeah ♪ 677 00:25:03,411 --> 00:25:16,556 ♪ bar mitzvah 678 00:25:16,624 --> 00:25:21,161 This is a bar mitzvah ♪ 679 00:25:21,228 --> 00:25:21,528 >> yeah. 680 00:25:21,595 --> 00:25:22,729 Mazel tov. 681 00:25:22,797 --> 00:25:27,267 [ applause ] 682 00:25:27,335 --> 00:25:30,103 >> jacob, I hope you brought 683 00:25:30,171 --> 00:25:31,137 Your little black book, because 684 00:25:31,205 --> 00:25:32,005 After this party, it's going to 685 00:25:32,073 --> 00:25:35,208 Be filled with ladies. 686 00:25:35,276 --> 00:25:36,910 >> dad, I told you. 687 00:25:36,977 --> 00:25:37,677 I just wanted a modest luncheon. 688 00:25:37,745 --> 00:25:40,213 [ laughter ] 689 00:25:40,281 --> 00:25:41,881 >> that's nonsense. 690 00:25:41,949 --> 00:25:42,549 We've been blessed, and we 691 00:25:42,616 --> 00:25:43,917 Should celebrate. 692 00:25:43,984 --> 00:25:46,720 You know, if he had his way, 693 00:25:46,787 --> 00:25:47,520 We'd go to fuddruckers and lock 694 00:25:47,588 --> 00:25:48,088 Himself in a room for 695 00:25:48,155 --> 00:25:48,488 Three hours. 696 00:25:48,556 --> 00:25:51,291 What do you do in there, anyway? 697 00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:51,591 Okay. 698 00:25:51,659 --> 00:25:53,159 The parade of stars is not over. 699 00:25:53,227 --> 00:25:54,027 Let's welcome the teen dream, 700 00:25:54,095 --> 00:25:55,161 Katy perry. 701 00:25:55,229 --> 00:25:57,097 [ applause ] 702 00:25:57,164 --> 00:25:58,331 >> hi, everybody. 703 00:25:58,399 --> 00:25:58,765 Happy jewish! 704 00:25:58,833 --> 00:25:59,999 One, two, three! 705 00:26:00,067 --> 00:26:03,103 ♪ 706 00:26:03,170 --> 00:26:05,972 ♪ I know a place 707 00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:06,806 Where the grass is always 708 00:26:06,874 --> 00:26:14,514 Greener ♪ 709 00:26:14,582 --> 00:26:20,053 That's right. 710 00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:21,788 ♪ real wedding wild 711 00:26:21,856 --> 00:26:22,422 There must be something in 712 00:26:22,490 --> 00:26:22,922 The dead sea ♪ 713 00:26:22,990 --> 00:26:23,490 ♪ we jews 714 00:26:23,557 --> 00:26:24,624 Their so incredible 715 00:26:24,692 --> 00:26:25,492 Jews are cool too 716 00:26:25,559 --> 00:26:31,464 West coast reps represent ♪ 717 00:26:31,532 --> 00:26:34,834 ♪ oh ooh oh ooh oh ♪ 718 00:26:34,902 --> 00:26:37,036 Shalom, you guys! 719 00:26:37,104 --> 00:26:39,072 [ applause ] 720 00:26:39,140 --> 00:26:40,140 >> all right. 721 00:26:40,207 --> 00:26:42,208 Katy perry. 722 00:26:42,276 --> 00:26:43,209 This was a wonderful bar 723 00:26:43,277 --> 00:26:43,576 Mitzvah. 724 00:26:43,644 --> 00:26:45,278 I'm so proud of my son. 725 00:26:45,346 --> 00:26:49,416 And I'm going to close with cee 726 00:26:49,483 --> 00:26:50,617 Lo -- oh, green, a member of the 727 00:26:50,684 --> 00:26:56,256 Tribe. 728 00:26:56,323 --> 00:26:56,823 >> take it away, sir. 729 00:26:56,891 --> 00:26:57,690 >> now, before I get started, 730 00:26:57,758 --> 00:26:59,692 Some of these older kids around 731 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:03,496 Here are bending forks. 732 00:27:03,564 --> 00:27:04,531 Now, what's up with this bending 733 00:27:04,598 --> 00:27:07,567 Forks thing? 734 00:27:07,635 --> 00:27:11,538 I mean, that's just 735 00:27:11,605 --> 00:27:12,272 Straight up mashugana you know 736 00:27:12,339 --> 00:27:13,506 What I'm saying? 737 00:27:13,574 --> 00:27:14,374 So jacob, this one is for you. 738 00:27:14,442 --> 00:27:15,241 ♪ 739 00:27:15,309 --> 00:27:15,875 ♪ if there's one thing 740 00:27:15,943 --> 00:27:16,643 In the world 741 00:27:16,710 --> 00:27:17,510 That jacob can do 742 00:27:17,578 --> 00:27:20,647 And that is talk hebrew ♪ 743 00:27:20,714 --> 00:27:21,281 ♪ it's a million year 744 00:27:21,348 --> 00:27:25,652 Old language 745 00:27:25,719 --> 00:27:27,053 That kind of sounds like 746 00:27:27,121 --> 00:27:27,687 Gargling like hebrew ♪ 747 00:27:27,755 --> 00:27:30,490 ♪ hebrew 748 00:27:30,558 --> 00:27:31,024 When the moses 749 00:27:31,091 --> 00:27:31,891 To those precocious ♪ 750 00:27:31,959 --> 00:27:33,560 [ cheers and applause ] 751 00:27:58,119 --> 00:27:58,618 ♪ I see you driving 752 00:27:58,686 --> 00:27:59,019 'round town 753 00:27:59,087 --> 00:27:59,586 With the girl I love 754 00:27:59,654 --> 00:28:00,420 And I'm like --♪ 755 00:28:00,488 --> 00:28:00,987 >> whoa! 756 00:28:01,055 --> 00:28:01,655 Congratulations, gentlemen. 757 00:28:01,723 --> 00:28:02,355 We've got a hit on our hands. 758 00:28:02,423 --> 00:28:03,123 We need to get this to the radio 759 00:28:03,191 --> 00:28:04,424 Immediately. 760 00:28:04,492 --> 00:28:05,158 >> we will, but there is a small 761 00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:08,028 Problem. 762 00:28:08,096 --> 00:28:10,797 >> yeah, the fcc says cee lo's 763 00:28:10,865 --> 00:28:12,432 New song is profane, and we 764 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,034 Can't play it on the radio 765 00:28:14,102 --> 00:28:15,902 Unless we change the lyrics. 766 00:28:15,970 --> 00:28:16,570 >> what the forget are you 767 00:28:16,637 --> 00:28:18,472 Talking about? 768 00:28:18,539 --> 00:28:19,039 >> karen, language. 769 00:28:19,107 --> 00:28:19,740 >> I'm sorry larry, but I'm 770 00:28:19,807 --> 00:28:21,308 Forgetting furious. 771 00:28:21,375 --> 00:28:22,743 This is forgetting bull sugar. 772 00:28:22,810 --> 00:28:24,444 >> karen, relax. 773 00:28:24,512 --> 00:28:27,247 >> shut the forget up, keith. 774 00:28:27,315 --> 00:28:27,614 >> whoa. 775 00:28:27,682 --> 00:28:33,787 Whoa. 776 00:28:33,855 --> 00:28:34,688 >> rodney, 777 00:28:34,756 --> 00:28:35,288 I'm in the middle of a 778 00:28:35,356 --> 00:28:35,822 Forgetting meeting. 779 00:28:35,890 --> 00:28:36,456 Can you forgetting knock? 780 00:28:36,524 --> 00:28:38,291 >> sorry, I forgot. 781 00:28:38,359 --> 00:28:39,993 >> well, the next time you 782 00:28:40,061 --> 00:28:41,394 Forgetting forget, I'll cut off 783 00:28:41,462 --> 00:28:44,931 Your dixie cup and forget you in 784 00:28:44,999 --> 00:28:49,236 The ear with it, and then you'll 785 00:28:49,303 --> 00:28:50,537 Never forgetting forget. 786 00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:51,204 Now, what was so forgetting 787 00:28:51,272 --> 00:28:51,605 Important? 788 00:28:51,672 --> 00:28:52,272 >> cee lo is here. 789 00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:53,373 >> oh, forget me in the 790 00:28:53,441 --> 00:28:53,740 Sasquatch. 791 00:28:53,808 --> 00:28:54,174 [ laughter ] 792 00:28:54,242 --> 00:28:59,946 Okay, send him in. 793 00:29:00,014 --> 00:29:01,081 >> what's up, mother forgetters? 794 00:29:01,149 --> 00:29:03,650 [ laughter ] 795 00:29:03,718 --> 00:29:10,423 >> how you doing, cee lo? 796 00:29:10,491 --> 00:29:13,493 >> feeling good, my nintendos. 797 00:29:13,561 --> 00:29:17,731 >> that's my nintendo. 798 00:29:17,799 --> 00:29:18,331 Right. 799 00:29:18,399 --> 00:29:19,065 It's not cool when I say that 800 00:29:19,133 --> 00:29:20,333 Word. 801 00:29:20,401 --> 00:29:22,302 >> cee lo, we have some good 802 00:29:22,370 --> 00:29:23,170 News and we have some bad news. 803 00:29:23,237 --> 00:29:23,870 The good news is we love the 804 00:29:23,938 --> 00:29:27,474 Track. 805 00:29:27,542 --> 00:29:29,643 The bad news is, the fcc needs 806 00:29:29,710 --> 00:29:33,013 You to change the lyrics. 807 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:33,880 >> is she forgetting kidding? 808 00:29:33,948 --> 00:29:36,149 >> I'm forgetting wish I was, 809 00:29:36,217 --> 00:29:39,352 >> you know what? 810 00:29:39,420 --> 00:29:42,889 Those people at the fcc 811 00:29:42,957 --> 00:29:43,990 Can suit my black dixie carter. 812 00:29:44,058 --> 00:29:45,125 >> forget them, cee lo. 813 00:29:45,193 --> 00:29:45,992 They're sugar heads and 814 00:29:46,060 --> 00:29:49,496 Sasquatch holes. 815 00:29:49,564 --> 00:29:51,364 The fcc lady I talked to over 816 00:29:51,432 --> 00:29:52,432 There was a world-class country 817 00:29:52,500 --> 00:29:54,201 Strong. 818 00:29:54,268 --> 00:29:54,801 >> karen. 819 00:29:54,869 --> 00:29:56,536 >> sorry! 820 00:29:56,604 --> 00:29:57,637 Bill, I bet if we put our heads 821 00:29:57,705 --> 00:30:00,841 Together, we could come up with 822 00:30:00,908 --> 00:30:02,075 A replacement that works. 823 00:30:02,143 --> 00:30:02,442 >> fudge? 824 00:30:02,510 --> 00:30:04,077 >> flock? 825 00:30:04,145 --> 00:30:05,779 >> fact? 826 00:30:05,847 --> 00:30:07,180 >> pussy? 827 00:30:07,248 --> 00:30:09,749 >> no. 828 00:30:09,817 --> 00:30:10,317 [ laughter ] 829 00:30:10,384 --> 00:30:13,220 >> you can't say that. 830 00:30:13,287 --> 00:30:13,920 >> you can say it if you mean 831 00:30:13,988 --> 00:30:14,754 Cat. 832 00:30:14,822 --> 00:30:15,422 >> is that what you meant? 833 00:30:15,489 --> 00:30:16,189 >> no. 834 00:30:16,257 --> 00:30:17,591 [ laughter ] 835 00:30:17,658 --> 00:30:20,427 >> okay, I've had it. 836 00:30:20,494 --> 00:30:22,162 Connect me to the fcc. 837 00:30:22,230 --> 00:30:22,963 It's time someone stands up to 838 00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:25,432 Them. 839 00:30:25,499 --> 00:30:28,869 >> you go, karen. 840 00:30:28,936 --> 00:30:31,071 >>forgetting "a." 841 00:30:31,138 --> 00:30:31,771 >> hello. 842 00:30:31,839 --> 00:30:33,006 This is karen 843 00:30:33,074 --> 00:30:33,540 Antonelli. 844 00:30:33,608 --> 00:30:34,241 I want to talk to you about a 845 00:30:34,308 --> 00:30:34,941 Little something called free 846 00:30:35,009 --> 00:30:35,575 Speech. 847 00:30:35,643 --> 00:30:37,844 Because I work with an artist 848 00:30:37,912 --> 00:30:39,246 Who wrote a piece of art, and he 849 00:30:39,313 --> 00:30:42,682 Is going to perform it the way 850 00:30:42,750 --> 00:30:43,817 It was meant to be performed, 851 00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:46,653 And you can't stop him. 852 00:30:46,721 --> 00:30:49,856 Uh-huh. 853 00:30:49,924 --> 00:30:51,057 Yeah. 854 00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:52,759 Right. 855 00:30:52,827 --> 00:30:55,362 Sure. 856 00:30:55,429 --> 00:30:57,030 Sure. 857 00:30:57,098 --> 00:30:59,299 Great. 858 00:30:59,367 --> 00:31:01,868 Thank you. 859 00:31:01,936 --> 00:31:05,605 >> so what did they say? 860 00:31:05,673 --> 00:31:07,507 >> they're going to let him say 861 00:31:07,575 --> 00:31:08,742 "forget" on national television. 862 00:31:08,809 --> 00:31:11,845 >> yes! 863 00:31:11,946 --> 00:31:12,612 >> ladies and gentlemen, cee lo 864 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:15,849 Green! 865 00:31:16,217 --> 00:31:17,550 [ cheers and applause ] 866 00:31:17,618 --> 00:31:22,656 ♪ 867 00:31:22,723 --> 00:31:24,090 ♪ I see you driving 868 00:31:24,158 --> 00:31:24,958 'round town 869 00:31:25,026 --> 00:31:25,792 With the girl I love ♪ 870 00:31:25,860 --> 00:31:27,227 ♪ and I'm like 871 00:31:27,295 --> 00:31:30,063 Forget you 872 00:31:30,131 --> 00:31:31,498 I guess ♪ 873 00:31:31,565 --> 00:31:32,198 ♪ the change in my pocket 874 00:31:32,266 --> 00:31:33,767 Wasn't enough 875 00:31:33,834 --> 00:31:35,468 I'm like 876 00:31:35,536 --> 00:31:36,603 Forget you ♪ 877 00:31:36,671 --> 00:31:39,439 ♪ and forget her too 878 00:31:39,507 --> 00:31:40,573 If I was richer I'd still be 879 00:31:40,641 --> 00:31:43,176 With ya 880 00:31:43,244 --> 00:31:44,577 Ain't that some -- ♪ 881 00:31:44,645 --> 00:31:46,546 ♪ although 882 00:31:46,614 --> 00:31:48,281 There's pain in my chest 883 00:31:48,349 --> 00:31:49,683 I wish you the best 884 00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:53,119 With a forget you ♪ 885 00:31:53,187 --> 00:31:54,554 ♪ I'm sorry 886 00:31:54,622 --> 00:31:56,790 I can't afford a ferrari 887 00:31:56,857 --> 00:31:58,224 But that don't mean 888 00:31:58,292 --> 00:32:00,226 I can't get you there ♪ 889 00:32:00,294 --> 00:32:01,928 ♪ I guess he's an xbox 890 00:32:01,996 --> 00:32:03,930 And I'm more atari 891 00:32:03,998 --> 00:32:04,798 But the way 892 00:32:04,865 --> 00:32:05,632 ♪ you play your game 893 00:32:05,700 --> 00:32:07,634 Ain't fair 894 00:32:07,702 --> 00:32:09,602 I pity the fool 895 00:32:09,670 --> 00:32:10,737 That falls in love 896 00:32:10,805 --> 00:32:12,739 With you ♪ 897 00:32:12,807 --> 00:32:13,873 ♪ oh -- she's a gold digger 898 00:32:13,941 --> 00:32:14,441 Well 899 00:32:14,508 --> 00:32:15,008 Just thought 900 00:32:15,076 --> 00:32:15,875 You should know ♪ 901 00:32:15,943 --> 00:32:17,811 ♪ ooh 902 00:32:17,912 --> 00:32:20,413 Have I got news for you 903 00:32:20,481 --> 00:32:20,981 Yeah go run and tell 904 00:32:21,048 --> 00:32:22,682 Your little boyfriend ♪ 905 00:32:22,750 --> 00:32:23,550 ♪ I see you driving 906 00:32:23,617 --> 00:32:24,951 'round town 907 00:32:25,019 --> 00:32:26,987 With the girl I love 908 00:32:27,054 --> 00:32:30,390 And I'm like forget you ♪ 909 00:32:30,458 --> 00:32:31,791 ♪ I guess the change 910 00:32:31,859 --> 00:32:33,493 In my pocket 911 00:32:33,561 --> 00:32:34,627 Wasn't enough 912 00:32:34,695 --> 00:32:35,795 I'm like ♪ 913 00:32:35,863 --> 00:32:36,629 ♪ forget you 914 00:32:36,697 --> 00:32:38,331 And forget her too 915 00:32:38,399 --> 00:32:41,167 I said, if I was richer 916 00:32:41,235 --> 00:32:42,302 I'd still be with ya ♪ 917 00:32:42,370 --> 00:32:42,936 ♪ ha, now ain't 918 00:32:43,004 --> 00:32:44,004 That some -- 919 00:32:44,071 --> 00:32:45,171 Ain't that some -- ♪ 920 00:32:45,239 --> 00:32:46,306 ♪ and although 921 00:32:46,374 --> 00:32:47,173 There's pain in my chest 922 00:32:47,241 --> 00:32:48,008 I still wish you 923 00:32:48,075 --> 00:32:48,875 The best ♪ 924 00:32:48,943 --> 00:32:49,442 ♪ with a 925 00:32:49,510 --> 00:32:53,413 Forget you 926 00:32:53,481 --> 00:32:54,814 Now I know 927 00:32:54,882 --> 00:32:57,117 That I had to borrow ♪ 928 00:32:57,184 --> 00:32:57,951 ♪ beg and steal 929 00:32:58,019 --> 00:33:00,520 And lie and cheat 930 00:33:00,588 --> 00:33:02,522 Trying to keep ya 931 00:33:02,590 --> 00:33:04,491 Trying to please ya ♪ 932 00:33:04,558 --> 00:33:05,925 ♪ 'cause being in love 933 00:33:05,993 --> 00:33:07,627 With you ass ain't cheap 934 00:33:07,695 --> 00:33:10,196 I pity the fool ♪ 935 00:33:10,264 --> 00:33:11,031 ♪ that falls in love 936 00:33:11,098 --> 00:33:13,033 With you 937 00:33:13,100 --> 00:33:13,900 Oh she's a gold digger 938 00:33:13,968 --> 00:33:14,434 Well ♪ 939 00:33:14,502 --> 00:33:15,035 ♪ just thought 940 00:33:15,102 --> 00:33:15,869 You should know 941 00:33:15,936 --> 00:33:17,570 Oooh ♪ 942 00:33:17,638 --> 00:33:19,672 ♪ have I got 943 00:33:19,740 --> 00:33:20,874 News for you 944 00:33:20,941 --> 00:33:21,741 I really hate you 945 00:33:21,809 --> 00:33:22,876 Right now woman ♪ 946 00:33:22,943 --> 00:33:24,010 ♪ I see you driving 947 00:33:24,078 --> 00:33:25,412 'round town 948 00:33:25,479 --> 00:33:27,414 With the girl I love 949 00:33:27,481 --> 00:33:30,550 And I'm like forget you ♪ 950 00:33:30,618 --> 00:33:31,951 ♪ I guess the change 951 00:33:32,019 --> 00:33:33,086 In my pocket 952 00:33:33,154 --> 00:33:35,088 Wasn't enough ♪ 953 00:33:35,156 --> 00:33:36,790 ♪ forget you 954 00:33:36,857 --> 00:33:39,059 And forget her too ♪ 955 00:33:39,126 --> 00:33:41,327 ♪ if I was richer 956 00:33:41,395 --> 00:33:43,029 I'd still be with ya 957 00:33:43,097 --> 00:33:43,897 Ha, now ain't that some -- 958 00:33:43,964 --> 00:33:45,031 Ain't that some --♪ 959 00:33:45,099 --> 00:33:46,166 ♪ and although 960 00:33:46,233 --> 00:33:47,300 There's pain in my chest 961 00:33:47,368 --> 00:33:48,168 I still wish you 962 00:33:48,235 --> 00:33:49,869 The best ♪ 963 00:33:49,937 --> 00:33:53,873 ♪ with a forget you 964 00:33:53,941 --> 00:33:55,575 Baby, baby, baby 965 00:33:55,643 --> 00:33:56,409 Why'd you wanna wanna 966 00:33:56,477 --> 00:33:58,711 Hurt me so bad ♪ 967 00:33:58,779 --> 00:34:01,548 ♪ so bad, so bad, so bad 968 00:34:01,615 --> 00:34:03,249 I tried to tell my mamma 969 00:34:03,317 --> 00:34:04,684 But she told me ♪ 970 00:34:04,752 --> 00:34:06,953 ♪ "this is one for your dad" 971 00:34:07,021 --> 00:34:17,230 Your dad, your dad, your dad 972 00:34:17,298 --> 00:34:19,399 Wyoming why baby ♪ 973 00:34:19,467 --> 00:34:21,000 ♪ I love you ♪ 974 00:34:21,068 --> 00:34:24,337 ♪ I still love you ♪ 975 00:34:24,405 --> 00:34:24,904 ♪ driving 976 00:34:24,972 --> 00:34:25,772 'round town 977 00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,908 With the girl I love 978 00:34:28,976 --> 00:34:30,877 Forget you woman ♪ 979 00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:31,478 ♪ I guess the change 980 00:34:31,545 --> 00:34:32,879 In my pocket 981 00:34:32,947 --> 00:34:34,848 Wasn't enough ♪ 982 00:34:34,915 --> 00:34:35,448 ♪ so 983 00:34:35,516 --> 00:34:37,417 Forget you 984 00:34:37,485 --> 00:34:38,852 Ooh ♪ 985 00:34:38,919 --> 00:34:41,121 [ cheers and applause ] 986 00:35:04,991 --> 00:35:06,091 >> announcer: "weekend update 987 00:35:06,159 --> 00:35:07,492 With seth meyers." 988 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,896 [ cheers and applause ] 989 00:35:10,963 --> 00:35:12,030 >> good evening, I'm seth 990 00:35:12,098 --> 00:35:12,764 Meyers, and here are tonight's 991 00:35:12,832 --> 00:35:16,601 Top stories. 992 00:35:16,669 --> 00:35:17,736 >>> in a video posted on her 993 00:35:17,804 --> 00:35:18,870 Facebook page, sarah palin 994 00:35:18,938 --> 00:35:20,272 Condemned the media's coverage 995 00:35:20,339 --> 00:35:22,007 Of the arizona shootings by 996 00:35:22,075 --> 00:35:23,108 Using the phrase "blood libel," 997 00:35:23,176 --> 00:35:24,843 Which refers to a harsh 998 00:35:24,911 --> 00:35:26,244 Anti-semitic slur, and I would 999 00:35:26,312 --> 00:35:27,112 Be super offended if I thought 1000 00:35:27,180 --> 00:35:27,679 She knew that. 1001 00:35:27,747 --> 00:35:31,950 [ laughter ] 1002 00:35:32,018 --> 00:35:32,784 >>> former house majority leader 1003 00:35:32,852 --> 00:35:33,652 Tom delay was sentenced Monday 1004 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:34,786 To three years in prison for his 1005 00:35:34,854 --> 00:35:36,221 Role in a money laundering case, 1006 00:35:36,289 --> 00:35:36,888 Plus another 18 months for 1007 00:35:36,956 --> 00:35:38,490 This -- 1008 00:35:39,392 --> 00:35:40,459 ♪ wild thing ♪ 1009 00:35:40,526 --> 00:35:47,299 [ laughter ] 1010 00:35:47,366 --> 00:35:49,034 >> do not show that in prison. 1011 00:35:49,102 --> 00:35:49,768 >>> verizon wireless announced 1012 00:35:49,836 --> 00:35:50,469 Tuesday that it will start 1013 00:35:50,536 --> 00:35:54,573 Selling the iphone in early 1014 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,541 February, offering a choice to 1015 00:35:56,609 --> 00:36:00,045 Users of at&t. 1016 00:36:00,113 --> 00:36:00,712 A spokesman for at&t said 1017 00:36:00,780 --> 00:36:01,413 Something, but I didn't catch 1018 00:36:01,481 --> 00:36:02,013 Most of it. 1019 00:36:02,081 --> 00:36:02,581 [ laughter ] 1020 00:36:02,648 --> 00:36:03,448 >>> under new rules released 1021 00:36:03,516 --> 00:36:04,116 Today by the department of 1022 00:36:04,183 --> 00:36:04,883 Agriculture, schools around the 1023 00:36:04,951 --> 00:36:05,550 Country would have to make 1024 00:36:05,618 --> 00:36:06,284 Drastic changes in their lunch 1025 00:36:06,352 --> 00:36:07,119 Menus, including offering 1026 00:36:07,186 --> 00:36:08,286 Students more fruits and 1027 00:36:08,354 --> 00:36:09,988 Vegetables and limiting their 1028 00:36:10,056 --> 00:36:11,389 French fries, which I think 1029 00:36:11,457 --> 00:36:12,557 Means the french fry is about to 1030 00:36:12,625 --> 00:36:13,291 Become the prison cigarette of 1031 00:36:13,359 --> 00:36:13,758 Public schools. 1032 00:36:13,826 --> 00:36:16,528 [ laughter ] 1033 00:36:16,596 --> 00:36:18,530 >>> this week, america's love 1034 00:36:18,598 --> 00:36:20,499 Affair with guns was a hot topic 1035 00:36:20,566 --> 00:36:21,199 Of debate, and it is a love 1036 00:36:21,267 --> 00:36:21,633 Affair. 1037 00:36:21,701 --> 00:36:23,068 Don't believe me? 1038 00:36:23,136 --> 00:36:23,768 Here's the poster for the new 1039 00:36:23,836 --> 00:36:27,906 Movie "the mechanic." 1040 00:36:27,974 --> 00:36:29,307 It's a gun made of a bunch of 1041 00:36:29,375 --> 00:36:30,175 Other guns, and it's about a 1042 00:36:30,243 --> 00:36:31,877 Mechanic. 1043 00:36:31,944 --> 00:36:32,744 And, of course, when you talk 1044 00:36:32,812 --> 00:36:33,478 About guns, you always hear a 1045 00:36:33,546 --> 00:36:35,013 Lot about the second amendment 1046 00:36:35,081 --> 00:36:36,148 And the founding fathers and 1047 00:36:36,215 --> 00:36:36,882 What they would say if they were 1048 00:36:36,949 --> 00:36:38,416 Here today. 1049 00:36:38,484 --> 00:36:39,151 Well, I, for one, think if the 1050 00:36:39,218 --> 00:36:40,118 Founding fathers were here 1051 00:36:40,186 --> 00:36:41,553 Today, they would be super 1052 00:36:41,621 --> 00:36:42,988 Freaked out by cars. 1053 00:36:43,055 --> 00:36:44,689 [ laughter ] 1054 00:36:44,757 --> 00:36:46,091 You can talk to them all you 1055 00:36:46,159 --> 00:36:46,958 Want about the second amendment, 1056 00:36:47,026 --> 00:36:50,962 And they would just yell "what 1057 00:36:51,030 --> 00:36:54,866 Are these metal beasts doing 1058 00:36:54,934 --> 00:36:58,803 Rolling down the thoroughfare?" 1059 00:36:58,871 --> 00:36:59,504 And you tell them "those are 1060 00:36:59,572 --> 00:37:00,205 Cars," and then you tried to 1061 00:37:00,273 --> 00:37:00,872 Bring up militias, and they 1062 00:37:00,940 --> 00:37:01,640 Would scream "how can you speak 1063 00:37:01,707 --> 00:37:02,374 Of militias when steel dragons 1064 00:37:02,441 --> 00:37:02,974 Shoot through the sky?" 1065 00:37:03,042 --> 00:37:03,608 And you'd try to explain 1066 00:37:03,676 --> 00:37:04,309 Airplanes, but even if they 1067 00:37:04,377 --> 00:37:05,076 Could wrap their heads around 1068 00:37:05,144 --> 00:37:05,844 That, they'd eventually ask "why 1069 00:37:05,912 --> 00:37:10,382 Are all the slaves out?" 1070 00:37:10,449 --> 00:37:11,683 [ laughter ] 1071 00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:13,351 They would think that. 1072 00:37:13,419 --> 00:37:14,486 Groan all you want, they would 1073 00:37:14,554 --> 00:37:15,353 Think that. 1074 00:37:15,421 --> 00:37:16,054 And yes, the founding fathers 1075 00:37:16,122 --> 00:37:16,821 Have the right to bear arms, but 1076 00:37:16,889 --> 00:37:17,622 The guys who wrote that would 1077 00:37:17,690 --> 00:37:18,390 Pee through all eight layers of 1078 00:37:18,457 --> 00:37:19,090 Their pants if they saw what 1079 00:37:19,158 --> 00:37:21,326 Guns are now. 1080 00:37:21,394 --> 00:37:22,727 In 1787, shooting a bullet was 1081 00:37:22,795 --> 00:37:23,461 Slightly faster than throwing 1082 00:37:23,529 --> 00:37:23,762 One. 1083 00:37:23,829 --> 00:37:25,864 [ laughter ] 1084 00:37:25,932 --> 00:37:27,866 If you wanted to be bulletproof 1085 00:37:27,934 --> 00:37:28,567 In 1787, you put on a heavy 1086 00:37:28,634 --> 00:37:31,002 Coat. 1087 00:37:31,070 --> 00:37:32,137 So with that in mind, I'm all 1088 00:37:32,205 --> 00:37:36,441 About americans having the 1089 00:37:36,509 --> 00:37:38,210 Guns slopgs as long as they're 1090 00:37:38,277 --> 00:37:42,981 The muskets from 1787 that take 1091 00:37:43,049 --> 00:37:44,649 Forever to load. 1092 00:37:44,717 --> 00:37:45,250 This is how a violent 1093 00:37:45,318 --> 00:37:46,084 Altercation would look. 1094 00:37:46,152 --> 00:37:46,785 "you can't say that about my 1095 00:37:46,852 --> 00:37:47,085 Wife. 1096 00:37:47,153 --> 00:37:47,452 Hold on. 1097 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:50,288 You are going to get it. 1098 00:37:50,356 --> 00:37:52,357 I am going to show you. 1099 00:37:52,425 --> 00:37:52,924 Ah, he drove off." 1100 00:37:52,992 --> 00:37:53,191 See? 1101 00:37:53,259 --> 00:37:53,758 Isn't that better? 1102 00:37:53,826 --> 00:37:57,229 [ applause ] 1103 00:37:57,296 --> 00:37:58,463 >>> officials at facebook said 1104 00:37:58,531 --> 00:37:59,164 There was no truth to a rumor 1105 00:37:59,232 --> 00:37:59,931 That the social network would be 1106 00:37:59,999 --> 00:38:00,632 Shutting down on March 15 so 1107 00:38:00,700 --> 00:38:01,600 That founder mark zuckerberg 1108 00:38:01,667 --> 00:38:02,467 Could get his old life back. 1109 00:38:02,535 --> 00:38:06,738 What old life? 1110 00:38:06,806 --> 00:38:08,006 The one where he was a giant 1111 00:38:08,074 --> 00:38:08,707 Computer nerd and didn't have 1112 00:38:08,774 --> 00:38:09,741 Money? 1113 00:38:09,809 --> 00:38:10,609 >>> a new mobile phone app was 1114 00:38:10,676 --> 00:38:11,743 Released Friday by turbotax 1115 00:38:11,811 --> 00:38:13,745 Called "snap tax," which would 1116 00:38:13,813 --> 00:38:16,314 Allow people to prepare their 1117 00:38:16,382 --> 00:38:17,148 Taxes from their smartphone. 1118 00:38:17,216 --> 00:38:18,316 Finally, the stress and headache 1119 00:38:18,384 --> 00:38:19,417 Of doing your taxes comes to a 1120 00:38:19,485 --> 00:38:19,985 Much smaller screen. 1121 00:38:20,052 --> 00:38:25,123 [ laughter ] 1122 00:38:25,191 --> 00:38:25,957 >>> farmers in south africa 1123 00:38:26,025 --> 00:38:26,625 Reported that baboons have 1124 00:38:26,692 --> 00:38:27,692 Discovered a new type of 1125 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:28,493 Tangerine, or it could be an old 1126 00:38:28,561 --> 00:38:30,228 Type of tangerine. 1127 00:38:30,296 --> 00:38:31,496 Baboons aren't that good at 1128 00:38:31,564 --> 00:38:34,366 Science. 1129 00:38:34,433 --> 00:38:36,067 >>> speculation has begun about 1130 00:38:36,135 --> 00:38:38,069 Which republicans will run for 1131 00:38:38,137 --> 00:38:38,670 President in 2012, one 1132 00:38:38,738 --> 00:38:40,338 Politician who has already 1133 00:38:40,406 --> 00:38:41,740 Declared his candidacy is former 1134 00:38:41,807 --> 00:38:42,607 New york gubernatorial candidate 1135 00:38:42,675 --> 00:38:44,876 Jimmy mcmillan. 1136 00:38:44,944 --> 00:38:45,744 Here to comment from the rent is 1137 00:38:45,811 --> 00:38:46,411 Too damn high party, jimmy 1138 00:38:46,479 --> 00:38:49,180 Mcmillan. 1139 00:38:49,248 --> 00:38:52,584 [ cheers and applause ] 1140 00:38:52,652 --> 00:38:53,251 >> allow me to reintroduce 1141 00:38:53,319 --> 00:38:54,019 Myself. 1142 00:38:54,086 --> 00:38:55,720 [ laughter ] 1143 00:38:55,788 --> 00:38:57,422 I used to represent the rent is 1144 00:38:57,490 --> 00:38:58,857 Too damn high party because the 1145 00:38:58,924 --> 00:39:01,426 Rent was too damn high. 1146 00:39:01,494 --> 00:39:02,260 And then I was defeated for 1147 00:39:02,328 --> 00:39:02,961 Governor by the narrowest of 1148 00:39:03,029 --> 00:39:03,962 Margins. 1149 00:39:04,030 --> 00:39:06,831 65-1. 1150 00:39:06,899 --> 00:39:08,800 I called up the new governor, 1151 00:39:08,868 --> 00:39:11,069 Perry como, to congratulate him. 1152 00:39:11,137 --> 00:39:11,770 And I'll never forget what he 1153 00:39:11,837 --> 00:39:13,938 Told me. 1154 00:39:14,006 --> 00:39:17,642 He said "at the tone, the time 1155 00:39:17,710 --> 00:39:20,345 Will be 3:00 a.M." 1156 00:39:20,413 --> 00:39:20,979 >> yeah, that wasn't the 1157 00:39:21,047 --> 00:39:21,346 Governor. 1158 00:39:21,414 --> 00:39:23,815 >> the people of new york spoke 1159 00:39:23,883 --> 00:39:24,916 Loud and clear, seth. 1160 00:39:24,984 --> 00:39:25,650 And they said jimmy mcmillan is 1161 00:39:25,718 --> 00:39:26,284 Too good to be governor. 1162 00:39:26,352 --> 00:39:26,918 He needs to be at least 1163 00:39:26,986 --> 00:39:29,187 President. 1164 00:39:29,255 --> 00:39:32,724 And that is why in 3012, I am 1165 00:39:32,792 --> 00:39:33,425 Running for president of new 1166 00:39:33,492 --> 00:39:35,060 York. 1167 00:39:35,127 --> 00:39:35,727 Watch out, grover cleveland. 1168 00:39:35,795 --> 00:39:38,330 [ laughter ] 1169 00:39:38,397 --> 00:39:40,398 >> where to begin? 1170 00:39:40,466 --> 00:39:42,367 I read you're planning to run 1171 00:39:42,435 --> 00:39:43,101 For president as a republican, 1172 00:39:43,169 --> 00:39:44,469 Is that right? 1173 00:39:44,537 --> 00:39:45,036 >> that is correct. 1174 00:39:45,104 --> 00:39:45,737 At first, I was worried about 1175 00:39:45,805 --> 00:39:51,009 Becoming a republican. 1176 00:39:51,077 --> 00:39:53,211 I mean, it's a crazy party of 1177 00:39:53,279 --> 00:39:54,312 Crazy people, seth. 1178 00:39:54,380 --> 00:39:55,480 And the last thing I want is 1179 00:39:55,548 --> 00:39:56,047 People to think that 1180 00:39:56,115 --> 00:39:56,815 Jimmy mcmillan isn't taking this 1181 00:39:56,882 --> 00:39:57,215 Seriously. 1182 00:39:57,283 --> 00:39:57,916 I'm just hoping to appeal to 1183 00:39:57,983 --> 00:39:58,616 More mainstream republicans 1184 00:39:58,684 --> 00:39:59,317 Without losing my political 1185 00:39:59,385 --> 00:39:59,884 Base, novelty voters. 1186 00:39:59,952 --> 00:40:00,285 [ laughter ] 1187 00:40:00,353 --> 00:40:01,720 That is why, if elected 1188 00:40:01,787 --> 00:40:03,154 President, I will not live in 1189 00:40:03,222 --> 00:40:04,022 The white house because the rent 1190 00:40:04,090 --> 00:40:07,692 Is too damn high. 1191 00:40:07,760 --> 00:40:09,694 I will instead live in a seventh 1192 00:40:09,762 --> 00:40:10,528 Floor walkup in baltimore, and I 1193 00:40:10,596 --> 00:40:11,396 Will commute to the white house 1194 00:40:11,464 --> 00:40:11,963 Via roller skates. 1195 00:40:12,031 --> 00:40:13,965 [ laughter ] 1196 00:40:14,033 --> 00:40:17,369 >> do you have a platform yet? 1197 00:40:17,436 --> 00:40:18,069 >> you mean like where I'll 1198 00:40:18,137 --> 00:40:18,903 Sleep? 1199 00:40:18,971 --> 00:40:20,672 >> no. 1200 00:40:20,740 --> 00:40:21,339 I meant a platform like a 1201 00:40:21,407 --> 00:40:21,806 Central issue. 1202 00:40:21,874 --> 00:40:22,107 >> oh. 1203 00:40:22,174 --> 00:40:22,941 Yes, I do. 1204 00:40:23,008 --> 00:40:23,675 My platform is -- the deficit is 1205 00:40:23,743 --> 00:40:27,212 Too damn high. 1206 00:40:27,279 --> 00:40:28,913 The deficit is $14 trillion, 1207 00:40:28,981 --> 00:40:30,348 Seth, that's enough to rent a 1208 00:40:30,416 --> 00:40:31,182 Small one-bedroom in the bronx. 1209 00:40:31,250 --> 00:40:32,884 [ laughter ] 1210 00:40:32,952 --> 00:40:33,685 With barely enough left over for 1211 00:40:33,753 --> 00:40:34,352 Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 1212 00:40:34,420 --> 00:40:38,022 [ laughter ] 1213 00:40:38,090 --> 00:40:38,723 >> and what if, you know, god 1214 00:40:38,791 --> 00:40:39,391 Forbid, you're not elected 1215 00:40:39,458 --> 00:40:40,725 President? 1216 00:40:40,793 --> 00:40:41,593 >> then guess what? 1217 00:40:41,660 --> 00:40:42,293 I'm going back to vietnam to 1218 00:40:42,361 --> 00:40:44,729 Finish what I started. 1219 00:40:44,797 --> 00:40:46,998 So keep your chin up, america. 1220 00:40:47,066 --> 00:40:51,269 And the best way to do a chin-up 1221 00:40:51,337 --> 00:40:53,838 Is to grab here and here and 1222 00:40:53,906 --> 00:40:55,807 Lift. 1223 00:40:55,875 --> 00:40:57,509 Be strong, america! 1224 00:40:57,576 --> 00:40:58,176 >> jimmy mcmillan, everyone! 1225 00:40:58,244 --> 00:40:58,943 [ cheers and applause ] 1226 00:40:59,011 --> 00:41:05,483 Jimmy mcmillan. 1227 00:41:05,551 --> 00:41:06,351 >>> a town in switzerland is 1228 00:41:06,419 --> 00:41:07,485 Warning dog owners that if they 1229 00:41:07,553 --> 00:41:08,253 Do not pay the annual $50 tax on 1230 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:08,887 Dogs, their pets will be 1231 00:41:08,954 --> 00:41:10,889 Euthanized. 1232 00:41:10,956 --> 00:41:12,023 Switzerland, neutral on nazis, 1233 00:41:12,091 --> 00:41:12,891 Tough on dogs. 1234 00:41:12,958 --> 00:41:20,265 [ laughter ] 1235 00:41:20,332 --> 00:41:21,599 >>> it was reported that 1236 00:41:21,667 --> 00:41:23,368 Producers of "extra" are 1237 00:41:23,436 --> 00:41:25,236 Developing "chitchat" which is a 1238 00:41:25,304 --> 00:41:27,505 Latino version of "the view" in 1239 00:41:27,573 --> 00:41:28,273 Case you've ever wondered what 1240 00:41:28,340 --> 00:41:28,907 It's like to be inside a 1241 00:41:28,974 --> 00:41:29,908 Headache. 1242 00:41:29,975 --> 00:41:31,042 >>> a picture of a "playboy" 1243 00:41:31,110 --> 00:41:33,044 Model that was hidden aboard the 1244 00:41:33,112 --> 00:41:33,912 Apollo xii mission to the moon 1245 00:41:33,979 --> 00:41:35,313 Will soon be auctioned off. 1246 00:41:35,381 --> 00:41:36,448 Well, at least I now understand 1247 00:41:36,515 --> 00:41:40,585 That famous astronaut quote, 1248 00:41:40,653 --> 00:41:45,190 That's one small step for man, 1249 00:41:45,257 --> 00:41:45,857 One giant "aww, geez, buzz. 1250 00:41:45,925 --> 00:41:49,160 Don't do that in here." 1251 00:41:49,228 --> 00:41:49,928 >>> police in canada barged into 1252 00:41:49,995 --> 00:41:50,628 Of home of a man after they 1253 00:41:50,696 --> 00:41:51,396 Thought they smelled marijuana, 1254 00:41:51,464 --> 00:41:52,130 But it was actually a skunk. 1255 00:41:52,198 --> 00:41:52,664 But keep looking. 1256 00:41:52,731 --> 00:41:53,398 The guy with the pet skunk 1257 00:41:53,466 --> 00:41:54,265 Definitely also definitely has 1258 00:41:54,333 --> 00:42:00,505 Weed. 1259 00:42:00,573 --> 00:42:06,911 >>> tomorrow night, the golden 1260 00:42:06,979 --> 00:42:14,652 Globe awards will be telecast. 1261 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:15,353 Here to help us catch up with 1262 00:42:15,421 --> 00:42:16,087 The nominees is our own vanessa 1263 00:42:16,155 --> 00:42:16,821 Bayer, live at the nbc golden 1264 00:42:16,889 --> 00:42:17,355 Globes street party. 1265 00:42:17,423 --> 00:42:20,058 Hi, vanessa. 1266 00:42:20,125 --> 00:42:20,692 >> reporter: Seth, it's 1267 00:42:20,759 --> 00:42:27,398 Electric. 1268 00:42:27,466 --> 00:42:29,901 Look who's here, the star of the 1269 00:42:29,969 --> 00:42:33,571 Year's hottest film, "burlesq 1270 00:42:33,639 --> 00:42:33,972 "burlesque." 1271 00:42:34,039 --> 00:42:34,706 >> I'm christina aguilera. 1272 00:42:34,773 --> 00:42:35,940 >> I'm cher. 1273 00:42:36,008 --> 00:42:38,710 ♪ 1274 00:42:38,777 --> 00:42:40,245 >> reporter: Are you excited 1275 00:42:40,312 --> 00:42:44,015 That "burlesque" is nominated 1276 00:42:44,083 --> 00:42:44,682 For best picture and best 1277 00:42:44,750 --> 00:42:47,819 Original song? 1278 00:42:47,887 --> 00:42:48,253 ♪ what ♪ 1279 00:42:48,320 --> 00:42:55,827 ♪ what ♪ 1280 00:42:55,895 --> 00:42:58,496 ♪ no one saw it ♪ 1281 00:42:58,564 --> 00:43:01,266 >> reporter: Did you two see it? 1282 00:43:01,333 --> 00:43:04,068 ♪ it was too scary ♪ 1283 00:43:04,136 --> 00:43:04,936 >> reporter: I've heard every 1284 00:43:05,004 --> 00:43:06,404 Year one daughter of hollywood 1285 00:43:06,472 --> 00:43:08,106 Royalty is chosen to hand out 1286 00:43:08,173 --> 00:43:09,507 The statues. 1287 00:43:09,575 --> 00:43:11,609 >> that's right. 1288 00:43:11,677 --> 00:43:14,012 And this year I'm proud to say 1289 00:43:14,079 --> 00:43:16,514 This year it's my son/daughter, 1290 00:43:16,582 --> 00:43:19,384 Chas bono. 1291 00:43:19,451 --> 00:43:20,118 >> reporter: Chas, you must be 1292 00:43:20,185 --> 00:43:20,485 Thrilled. 1293 00:43:20,553 --> 00:43:22,353 >> I am. 1294 00:43:22,421 --> 00:43:23,321 Every morning I wake up, and I 1295 00:43:23,389 --> 00:43:24,989 Look at it. 1296 00:43:25,057 --> 00:43:27,692 [ laughter ] 1297 00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:28,393 >> reporter: Right. 1298 00:43:28,460 --> 00:43:30,929 But what about being miss golden 1299 00:43:30,996 --> 00:43:31,229 Globe? 1300 00:43:31,297 --> 00:43:34,299 >> mr. Golden globes, yes, I'm 1301 00:43:34,366 --> 00:43:34,666 Excited. 1302 00:43:34,733 --> 00:43:35,433 >> reporter: Did they explain to 1303 00:43:35,501 --> 00:43:36,968 You how it's all going to work? 1304 00:43:37,036 --> 00:43:37,468 >> yes. 1305 00:43:37,536 --> 00:43:39,938 What the doctors did was, they 1306 00:43:40,005 --> 00:43:41,105 Took my vagina -- 1307 00:43:41,173 --> 00:43:42,874 >> reporter: No, no, that's not 1308 00:43:42,942 --> 00:43:43,975 What I meant. 1309 00:43:44,043 --> 00:43:44,275 Okay. 1310 00:43:44,343 --> 00:43:45,677 Back to you, seth. 1311 00:43:45,744 --> 00:43:46,344 >> our own vanessa bayer. 1312 00:43:46,412 --> 00:43:47,912 Thank you. 1313 00:43:47,980 --> 00:43:52,850 [ applause ] 1314 00:43:52,918 --> 00:43:55,153 >>> it was announced abc is 1315 00:43:55,220 --> 00:43:56,988 Developing a sitcom called 1316 00:43:57,056 --> 00:44:00,291 "don't trust a bitch" which 1317 00:44:00,359 --> 00:44:01,092 Coincidentally was the original 1318 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,362 Title for "I love lucy." 1319 00:44:04,430 --> 00:44:05,029 >>> park avenue winter, a 1320 00:44:05,097 --> 00:44:05,697 Restaurant in manhattan, is 1321 00:44:05,764 --> 00:44:06,431 Searching a new dessert called 1322 00:44:06,498 --> 00:44:07,165 The volcanic flambe, which was 1323 00:44:07,232 --> 00:44:08,299 Designed be performance artist 1324 00:44:08,367 --> 00:44:09,701 Marina abromovic and comes with 1325 00:44:09,768 --> 00:44:10,835 An audio recording of the artist 1326 00:44:10,903 --> 00:44:11,569 That people must listen to while 1327 00:44:11,637 --> 00:44:13,705 Eating the dessert. 1328 00:44:13,772 --> 00:44:14,539 So yeah, just the check. 1329 00:44:14,607 --> 00:44:20,878 [ laughter ] 1330 00:44:20,946 --> 00:44:23,114 >>> a man in seattle who calls 1331 00:44:23,182 --> 00:44:25,049 Himself phoenix jones and 1332 00:44:25,117 --> 00:44:27,251 Dresses up in a superhero 1333 00:44:27,319 --> 00:44:31,289 Costume had his nose broken in a 1334 00:44:31,357 --> 00:44:31,656 Fight. 1335 00:44:31,724 --> 00:44:32,957 It seems his only weakness, 1336 00:44:33,025 --> 00:44:34,692 Weakness. 1337 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:35,994 >>> it's been a cold, snowy 1338 00:44:36,061 --> 00:44:36,794 Winter so far. 1339 00:44:36,862 --> 00:44:38,262 But that doesn't mean we can't 1340 00:44:38,330 --> 00:44:39,430 Bring you a little dose of 1341 00:44:39,498 --> 00:44:40,264 Sunshine. 1342 00:44:40,332 --> 00:44:42,367 Please welcome mick jagger's 1343 00:44:42,434 --> 00:44:49,540 Favorite singing duo. 1344 00:44:49,608 --> 00:44:50,708 >> I'm so sorry. 1345 00:44:50,776 --> 00:44:52,410 We just got out of the 1346 00:44:52,478 --> 00:44:52,844 Dermatologist. 1347 00:44:52,911 --> 00:44:55,880 >> we had them check everything. 1348 00:44:55,948 --> 00:44:56,280 Everything. 1349 00:44:56,348 --> 00:44:57,181 >> head to toe. 1350 00:44:57,249 --> 00:44:57,682 Our whole backs. 1351 00:44:57,750 --> 00:44:59,584 >> that's okay. 1352 00:44:59,652 --> 00:45:00,985 I'm just worried you forgot you 1353 00:45:01,053 --> 00:45:01,786 Were supposed to be here again. 1354 00:45:01,854 --> 00:45:02,153 >> what? 1355 00:45:02,221 --> 00:45:08,159 No. 1356 00:45:08,227 --> 00:45:10,161 >> we wrote some great new songs 1357 00:45:10,229 --> 00:45:11,629 That are sure to put a smile on 1358 00:45:11,697 --> 00:45:12,363 Everyone's faces. 1359 00:45:12,431 --> 00:45:12,864 >> great. 1360 00:45:12,931 --> 00:45:14,232 Let's hear it. 1361 00:45:14,299 --> 00:45:16,467 >> this one is called "winter 1362 00:45:16,535 --> 00:45:17,835 Day flu." 1363 00:45:17,903 --> 00:45:18,970 "winter day fun." 1364 00:45:19,038 --> 00:45:30,415 >> "fun." 1365 00:45:30,482 --> 00:45:36,454 ♪ 1366 00:45:36,522 --> 00:45:38,890 ♪ wintertime 1367 00:45:38,957 --> 00:45:41,225 ♪ because wintertime is 1368 00:45:41,293 --> 00:45:41,693 Celebrated ♪ 1369 00:45:41,760 --> 00:45:43,027 ♪ in jamaica ♪ 1370 00:45:43,095 --> 00:45:44,962 ♪ in jamaica ♪ 1371 00:45:45,030 --> 00:45:46,664 >> I'm going to stop you guys. 1372 00:45:46,732 --> 00:45:47,965 I'm going to stop you guys 1373 00:45:48,033 --> 00:45:49,667 Because that is not a real song. 1374 00:45:49,735 --> 00:45:51,135 You guys knew about coming on 1375 00:45:51,203 --> 00:45:52,403 Here a month ago. 1376 00:45:52,471 --> 00:45:53,805 >> we were in harrisburg. 1377 00:45:53,872 --> 00:45:55,206 >> it was a music-writing 1378 00:45:55,274 --> 00:45:55,807 Conference. 1379 00:45:55,874 --> 00:45:56,474 >> all right. 1380 00:45:56,542 --> 00:45:57,709 Which music-writing conference 1381 00:45:57,776 --> 00:45:58,142 Were you at? 1382 00:45:58,210 --> 00:46:05,783 >> easy. 1383 00:46:05,851 --> 00:46:07,652 The conference for piano. 1384 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,087 >> first off, I love you. 1385 00:46:09,154 --> 00:46:10,755 I love your sound, what you're 1386 00:46:10,823 --> 00:46:11,122 Wearing. 1387 00:46:11,190 --> 00:46:11,923 I love the hair. 1388 00:46:11,990 --> 00:46:12,857 I love everything. 1389 00:46:12,925 --> 00:46:13,591 >> thank you very much. 1390 00:46:13,659 --> 00:46:14,025 Thank you. 1391 00:46:14,093 --> 00:46:15,760 >> I just wish you would come 1392 00:46:15,828 --> 00:46:16,961 Here with a written song. 1393 00:46:17,029 --> 00:46:19,130 >> we did. 1394 00:46:19,198 --> 00:46:23,735 We've been worki iing with the t 1395 00:46:23,802 --> 00:46:25,636 Famous songwriter in the world. 1396 00:46:25,704 --> 00:46:26,404 >> her name is kim. 1397 00:46:26,472 --> 00:46:32,810 Come on in, kim. 1398 00:46:32,878 --> 00:46:33,678 >> hi. 1399 00:46:33,746 --> 00:46:34,512 Sorry I'm late. 1400 00:46:34,580 --> 00:46:36,013 I was at the podiatrist. 1401 00:46:36,081 --> 00:46:37,415 My arches are falling. 1402 00:46:37,483 --> 00:46:38,282 I don't know what's going on. 1403 00:46:38,350 --> 00:46:39,484 >> that's okay. 1404 00:46:39,551 --> 00:46:39,851 Welcome. 1405 00:46:39,918 --> 00:46:45,623 So where did you guys all meet? 1406 00:46:45,691 --> 00:46:47,225 >> at the airport. 1407 00:46:47,292 --> 00:46:51,596 >> oh, boy. 1408 00:46:51,663 --> 00:46:52,396 >> no, seth, I know what you're 1409 00:46:52,464 --> 00:46:52,764 Thinking. 1410 00:46:52,831 --> 00:46:55,900 But I spent a lot of time 1411 00:46:55,968 --> 00:46:58,636 Helping them write songs. 1412 00:46:58,704 --> 00:46:59,904 This one is called "snow day." 1413 00:46:59,972 --> 00:47:07,945 >> sounds good. 1414 00:47:08,013 --> 00:47:12,917 ♪ hey man it snowed today ♪ 1415 00:47:12,985 --> 00:47:23,561 ♪ hey man ♪ 1416 00:47:23,629 --> 00:47:25,730 ♪ it's falling again ♪ 1417 00:47:25,798 --> 00:47:34,539 ♪ it's falling again ♪ 1418 00:47:34,606 --> 00:47:35,473 [ applause ] 1419 00:47:35,541 --> 00:47:37,241 >> I just think maybe you guys 1420 00:47:37,309 --> 00:47:41,746 Coming here was a mistake. 1421 00:47:41,814 --> 00:47:42,313 >> no. 1422 00:47:42,381 --> 00:47:42,914 >> come on. 1423 00:47:42,981 --> 00:47:43,247 Please. 1424 00:47:43,315 --> 00:47:43,748 >> don't -- 1425 00:47:43,816 --> 00:47:44,582 I'll die. 1426 00:47:44,650 --> 00:47:45,983 >> please. 1427 00:47:46,051 --> 00:47:48,719 >> no, I'm not falling for it. 1428 00:47:48,787 --> 00:47:49,620 >> come on. 1429 00:47:49,688 --> 00:47:50,087 One more song. 1430 00:47:50,155 --> 00:47:51,289 >> no. 1431 00:47:51,356 --> 00:47:51,989 >> ten more really long ones? 1432 00:47:52,057 --> 00:47:53,291 >> no. 1433 00:47:53,358 --> 00:47:54,659 >> please let us do our latest 1434 00:47:54,726 --> 00:47:58,196 Song. 1435 00:47:58,263 --> 00:47:58,830 It really has music and 1436 00:47:58,897 --> 00:48:00,231 Everything. 1437 00:48:00,299 --> 00:48:01,532 >> I don't know why, but I just 1438 00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:04,302 Can't say no to you guys. 1439 00:48:04,369 --> 00:48:04,969 ♪ when you wake up ♪ 1440 00:48:05,037 --> 00:48:06,003 With a frown 1441 00:48:06,071 --> 00:48:06,871 Just smile 1442 00:48:06,939 --> 00:48:08,573 Just smile ♪ 1443 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:24,989 ♪ 1444 00:48:27,359 --> 00:48:37,602 ♪ 1445 00:48:37,669 --> 00:48:38,302 >> garth and kath, everybody. 1446 00:48:38,370 --> 00:48:39,036 For "weekend update," I'm seth 1447 00:48:39,104 --> 00:48:39,370 Meyers. 1448 00:48:39,438 --> 00:48:39,770 Good night. 1449 00:48:58,804 --> 00:49:00,972 >>> greetings, countrymen, and 1450 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,174 Welcome to the illustrious globe 1451 00:49:03,242 --> 00:49:03,708 Theater. 1452 00:49:03,776 --> 00:49:06,111 Tonight, we are proud to present 1453 00:49:06,178 --> 00:49:07,879 William shakespeare's "taming of 1454 00:49:07,947 --> 00:49:14,919 The shrew." 1455 00:49:14,987 --> 00:49:16,955 But first, we are trying 1456 00:49:17,022 --> 00:49:18,556 Something rather novel here at 1457 00:49:18,624 --> 00:49:19,591 The globe. 1458 00:49:19,658 --> 00:49:21,192 Our actors are going to give you 1459 00:49:21,260 --> 00:49:22,260 A glance ahead at some of our 1460 00:49:22,328 --> 00:49:24,662 Coming attractions. 1461 00:49:24,730 --> 00:49:31,169 We call them previews. 1462 00:49:31,237 --> 00:49:33,071 >> previews? 1463 00:49:33,139 --> 00:49:34,739 Julia? 1464 00:49:34,807 --> 00:49:35,306 >> coming soon. 1465 00:49:35,374 --> 00:49:36,741 Romeo thought he had everything. 1466 00:49:36,809 --> 00:49:39,577 >> me thinks I have everything. 1467 00:49:39,645 --> 00:49:40,278 >> until he fell in love with 1468 00:49:40,346 --> 00:49:43,314 The enemy. 1469 00:49:43,382 --> 00:49:44,149 >> I am juliet of the capulets. 1470 00:49:44,216 --> 00:49:50,688 >> the what? 1471 00:49:50,756 --> 00:49:52,390 ♪ I've got a feeling ♪ 1472 00:49:52,458 --> 00:49:54,092 That this eve is 1473 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:55,226 Going to be a good eve ♪ 1474 00:49:55,294 --> 00:49:57,228 ♪ that this eve is going 1475 00:49:57,296 --> 00:50:05,036 To be a good, good eve ♪ 1476 00:50:05,104 --> 00:50:07,071 >> "romeo and juliet." 1477 00:50:07,139 --> 00:50:07,939 It's a romance to die for. 1478 00:50:08,007 --> 00:50:08,640 >> I don't know if I care for 1479 00:50:08,707 --> 00:50:09,374 These previews. 1480 00:50:09,441 --> 00:50:10,041 >> they give away the whole 1481 00:50:10,109 --> 00:50:10,775 Plot. 1482 00:50:10,843 --> 00:50:12,477 Now, start the play! 1483 00:50:12,545 --> 00:50:13,645 >> start the play! 1484 00:50:13,712 --> 00:50:14,779 >> in a moment, thank you, sir. 1485 00:50:14,847 --> 00:50:17,048 But first, a quick reminder. 1486 00:50:17,116 --> 00:50:18,483 Make sure to silence your 1487 00:50:18,551 --> 00:50:26,724 Falcon. 1488 00:50:26,792 --> 00:50:27,292 [ caws ] 1489 00:50:27,359 --> 00:50:33,832 [ laughter ] 1490 00:50:33,899 --> 00:50:36,000 And in case of a fire, the 1491 00:50:36,068 --> 00:50:36,835 Emergency exits are nowhere. 1492 00:50:36,902 --> 00:50:38,837 So, make your peace with god. 1493 00:50:38,904 --> 00:50:39,971 Now enjoy "taming of the shrew." 1494 00:50:40,039 --> 00:50:44,809 After one more preview. 1495 00:50:44,877 --> 00:50:45,977 >> coming soon. 1496 00:50:46,045 --> 00:50:46,778 Hamlet never believed in ghosts. 1497 00:50:46,846 --> 00:50:47,946 >> that's all hogwash. 1498 00:50:48,013 --> 00:50:49,080 >> until his own father came 1499 00:50:49,148 --> 00:50:51,649 Back from the dead. 1500 00:50:51,717 --> 00:50:53,918 [ moaning ] 1501 00:50:53,986 --> 00:50:54,752 >> hey, watch out, hamlet! 1502 00:50:54,820 --> 00:50:58,056 It's a ghost! 1503 00:50:58,123 --> 00:50:59,190 >> shhh! 1504 00:50:59,258 --> 00:51:00,625 >> keep it down. 1505 00:51:00,693 --> 00:51:01,759 Now, start the play! 1506 00:51:01,827 --> 00:51:05,463 >> start the play already! 1507 00:51:05,531 --> 00:51:06,664 >> please, please, just another 1508 00:51:06,732 --> 00:51:07,932 Quick reminder. 1509 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:08,700 Any recording of today's play is 1510 00:51:08,767 --> 00:51:14,439 Prohibited. 1511 00:51:14,506 --> 00:51:15,874 And remember, refreshments are 1512 00:51:15,941 --> 00:51:19,544 Available in the foyer. 1513 00:51:19,612 --> 00:51:22,113 ♪ let's all go to the lobby 1514 00:51:22,181 --> 00:51:24,382 Let's all go to the lobby 1515 00:51:24,450 --> 00:51:29,087 Let's all go to the lobby ♪ 1516 00:51:29,154 --> 00:51:31,956 ♪ and eat some boiled duck ♪ 1517 00:51:32,024 --> 00:51:38,496 >> oh, hell neigh. 1518 00:51:38,564 --> 00:51:39,197 >> can you believe this is a 1519 00:51:39,265 --> 00:51:39,631 Small? 1520 00:51:39,698 --> 00:51:40,498 >> and now, without further ado, 1521 00:51:40,566 --> 00:51:41,366 I give you "taming of the 1522 00:51:41,433 --> 00:51:43,034 Shrew." 1523 00:51:43,102 --> 00:51:44,469 After one more preview. 1524 00:51:44,536 --> 00:51:46,471 >> coming soon. 1525 00:51:46,538 --> 00:51:47,005 You loved henry iv. 1526 00:51:47,072 --> 00:51:47,872 Well, guess what? 1527 00:51:47,940 --> 00:51:51,009 There's a new king in town. 1528 00:51:51,076 --> 00:51:53,578 >> henry iv, I presume. 1529 00:51:53,646 --> 00:51:55,847 >> not exactly. 1530 00:51:55,915 --> 00:51:59,550 >> he's henry v. 1531 00:51:59,618 --> 00:52:00,685 >> let's burn this place down! 1532 00:52:00,753 --> 00:52:07,225 >> yeah! 1533 00:52:07,293 --> 00:52:08,660 >> and so they did. 1534 00:52:08,727 --> 00:52:09,494 And no one ever heard of 1535 00:52:09,561 --> 00:52:14,198 Shakespeare again. 1536 00:52:14,266 --> 00:52:15,333 This has been "false history." 1537 00:52:15,401 --> 00:52:15,733 Good night. 1538 00:52:15,801 --> 00:52:16,200 [ applause ] 1539 00:52:36,468 --> 00:52:37,702 >>> well, you know, "fresh 1540 00:52:37,770 --> 00:52:39,804 Prince of bel air" was a great 1541 00:52:39,872 --> 00:52:41,339 Time, but it was my very first 1542 00:52:41,407 --> 00:52:41,973 Acting job. 1543 00:52:42,041 --> 00:52:43,508 I was comfortable with doing the 1544 00:52:43,576 --> 00:52:45,176 Funny stuff, but, you know, when 1545 00:52:45,244 --> 00:52:47,145 We did some of the more serious 1546 00:52:47,213 --> 00:52:47,879 Episodes, let's just say I was 1547 00:52:47,947 --> 00:52:54,118 Still learning. 1548 00:52:54,186 --> 00:52:55,253 Hey, carlton, why you so late 1549 00:52:55,321 --> 00:52:56,087 Come home? 1550 00:52:56,155 --> 00:52:56,821 Did the glee club get beat up by 1551 00:52:56,889 --> 00:52:58,122 Field hockey team again? 1552 00:52:58,190 --> 00:52:58,690 [ laughter ] 1553 00:52:58,757 --> 00:52:59,224 >> no. 1554 00:52:59,291 --> 00:52:59,958 I don't want to talk about it, 1555 00:53:00,025 --> 00:53:03,494 Will. 1556 00:53:03,562 --> 00:53:05,196 >> no need to get short with me. 1557 00:53:05,264 --> 00:53:08,366 >> if you must know, I'm late 1558 00:53:08,434 --> 00:53:10,335 Because -- because mr. Henning 1559 00:53:10,402 --> 00:53:11,202 Touched me, okay? 1560 00:53:11,270 --> 00:53:17,742 [ laughter ] 1561 00:53:17,810 --> 00:53:18,509 >> the script just said will 1562 00:53:18,577 --> 00:53:19,477 Reacts. 1563 00:53:19,545 --> 00:53:21,145 Being new to the acting game, I 1564 00:53:21,213 --> 00:53:28,286 Chose to react how scooby-doo 1565 00:53:28,354 --> 00:53:28,987 Would raek to react to that 1566 00:53:29,054 --> 00:53:30,154 News. 1567 00:53:30,222 --> 00:53:30,722 You know -- 1568 00:53:30,789 --> 00:53:31,289 [ laughter ] 1569 00:53:31,357 --> 00:53:32,023 Looking back, I could have gone 1570 00:53:32,091 --> 00:53:32,724 Another way with it. 1571 00:53:32,791 --> 00:53:33,458 >> oh, yes, the "aroo" moment. 1572 00:53:33,525 --> 00:53:34,425 I learned to be patient with 1573 00:53:34,493 --> 00:53:36,394 Will those early years. 1574 00:53:36,462 --> 00:53:37,262 He hadn't been formally trained 1575 00:53:37,329 --> 00:53:38,062 In dramatic acting as I had on 1576 00:53:38,130 --> 00:53:40,398 The set of "silver spoons." 1577 00:53:40,466 --> 00:53:40,965 [ laughter ] 1578 00:53:41,033 --> 00:53:41,666 >> you know, it was a wake-up 1579 00:53:41,734 --> 00:53:42,934 Call for me. 1580 00:53:43,002 --> 00:53:44,369 You know, I knew I had to 1581 00:53:44,436 --> 00:53:46,371 Dedicate myself to the craft. 1582 00:53:46,438 --> 00:53:48,072 I took extensive acting classes, 1583 00:53:48,140 --> 00:53:48,773 Even worked with a voice and 1584 00:53:48,841 --> 00:53:51,776 Movement coach. 1585 00:53:51,844 --> 00:53:52,477 But not before this scene was 1586 00:53:52,544 --> 00:53:58,049 Filmed. 1587 00:53:58,117 --> 00:54:00,318 >> I'm sorry to disturb you, 1588 00:54:00,386 --> 00:54:01,019 Folks, but I'm afraid I have 1589 00:54:01,086 --> 00:54:02,186 Some bad news. 1590 00:54:02,254 --> 00:54:05,256 There's been a car accident. 1591 00:54:05,324 --> 00:54:06,024 And phillip banks has been badly 1592 00:54:06,091 --> 00:54:06,624 Hurt. 1593 00:54:06,692 --> 00:54:07,191 >> oh, no. 1594 00:54:07,259 --> 00:54:07,892 >> I can take you boys to the 1595 00:54:07,960 --> 00:54:09,193 Hospital. 1596 00:54:09,261 --> 00:54:10,328 >> cha-ching! 1597 00:54:10,396 --> 00:54:13,431 [ laughter ] 1598 00:54:13,499 --> 00:54:14,599 >> you know, I wasn't sure if I 1599 00:54:14,667 --> 00:54:17,135 Was supposed to react to the 1600 00:54:17,202 --> 00:54:18,603 News about uncle phil or to the 1601 00:54:18,671 --> 00:54:19,304 Attractiveness of the police 1602 00:54:19,371 --> 00:54:20,305 Officer. 1603 00:54:20,372 --> 00:54:21,706 I guessed wrong. 1604 00:54:21,774 --> 00:54:25,109 But it was funny! 1605 00:54:25,177 --> 00:54:26,544 >> I was accessing a painful 1606 00:54:26,612 --> 00:54:27,312 Memory for that scene and crying 1607 00:54:27,379 --> 00:54:29,681 Real tears. 1608 00:54:29,748 --> 00:54:32,216 Will said, "cha-ching!" 1609 00:54:32,284 --> 00:54:33,384 But I think this next scene 1610 00:54:33,452 --> 00:54:35,353 Really shows will's journey. 1611 00:54:35,421 --> 00:54:36,754 In it carlton confronts will 1612 00:54:36,822 --> 00:54:37,455 When he finds a joint in his 1613 00:54:37,523 --> 00:54:38,756 Room. 1614 00:54:38,824 --> 00:54:39,390 Will was asked to react 1615 00:54:39,458 --> 00:54:40,758 Defensively. 1616 00:54:40,826 --> 00:54:41,392 And he made a very strong 1617 00:54:41,460 --> 00:54:46,164 Choice. 1618 00:54:46,231 --> 00:54:46,898 >> will, I found this joint in 1619 00:54:46,966 --> 00:54:51,035 Your room. 1620 00:54:51,103 --> 00:54:52,603 Drugs aren't the answer. 1621 00:54:52,671 --> 00:54:53,504 If you have a problem, I'm here 1622 00:54:53,572 --> 00:54:56,908 To help you, okay? 1623 00:54:56,976 --> 00:54:59,477 >> welcome to earth! 1624 00:54:59,545 --> 00:55:00,044 Whoo! 1625 00:55:00,112 --> 00:55:00,611 [ laughter ] 1626 00:55:00,679 --> 00:55:03,915 Yeah, you know. 1627 00:55:03,983 --> 00:55:06,017 That line didn't make sense in 1628 00:55:06,085 --> 00:55:07,819 That scene so much, but we used 1629 00:55:07,886 --> 00:55:10,288 It later in the movie 1630 00:55:10,356 --> 00:55:12,323 "independence day," 1631 00:55:12,391 --> 00:55:12,991 And that made $800 million. 1632 00:55:13,058 --> 00:55:13,291 Whoo! 1633 00:55:13,359 --> 00:55:14,025 That's a lot of money, ain't it? 1634 00:55:14,093 --> 00:55:17,195 >> "the fresh prince of bel air" 1635 00:55:17,262 --> 00:55:18,096 20th anniversary collection, in 1636 00:55:18,163 --> 00:55:19,797 Stores now. 1637 00:55:50,963 --> 00:55:51,529 >>> "sportscenter," espn 1638 00:55:51,597 --> 00:55:52,030 Deportes. 1639 00:55:52,097 --> 00:55:59,938 [ speaking spanish ] 1640 00:56:00,005 --> 00:56:05,143 Espn deportes. 1641 00:56:05,211 --> 00:56:06,010 >> hola. 1642 00:56:06,078 --> 00:56:07,145 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1643 00:56:07,213 --> 00:56:09,981 Jeff van gundy. 1644 00:56:10,049 --> 00:56:12,851 [ speaking spanish ] 1645 00:56:12,918 --> 00:56:17,956 Stan van gundy. 1646 00:56:18,023 --> 00:56:20,225 [ speaking spanish ] 1647 00:56:20,292 --> 00:56:21,092 Jeff y stan van gundy. 1648 00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:24,495 Sophia? 1649 00:56:24,563 --> 00:56:26,231 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1650 00:56:26,298 --> 00:56:28,466 Brett favre. 1651 00:56:28,534 --> 00:56:41,713 [ speaking spanish ] 1652 00:56:41,780 --> 00:56:44,849 Sexting con sheryl swoopes. 1653 00:56:44,917 --> 00:56:49,120 [ speaking spanish ] 1654 00:56:49,188 --> 00:56:52,824 Sex. 1655 00:56:52,892 --> 00:56:53,925 Brett favre. 1656 00:56:53,993 --> 00:56:55,393 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1657 00:56:55,461 --> 00:56:57,662 Bulls. 1658 00:56:57,730 --> 00:57:00,398 [ speaking spanish ] 1659 00:57:00,466 --> 00:57:01,499 Derrick rose. 1660 00:57:01,567 --> 00:57:02,066 [ speaking spanish ] 1661 00:57:02,134 --> 00:57:02,634 Randy bruer. 1662 00:57:02,701 --> 00:57:03,234 [ speaking spanish ] 1663 00:57:03,302 --> 00:57:04,068 Pop goes the weasel. 1664 00:57:04,136 --> 00:57:04,669 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1665 00:57:04,737 --> 00:57:05,203 New york knicks. 1666 00:57:05,271 --> 00:57:05,770 [ speaking spanish ] 1667 00:57:05,838 --> 00:57:09,173 Kevin garnett. 1668 00:57:09,241 --> 00:57:10,041 >> I'm just glad we got the win. 1669 00:57:10,109 --> 00:57:10,742 I thought we did a good job 1670 00:57:10,809 --> 00:57:13,745 Controlling the tempo. 1671 00:57:13,812 --> 00:57:14,846 >> party time. 1672 00:57:14,914 --> 00:57:16,848 Kevin garnett. 1673 00:57:16,916 --> 00:57:18,283 [ speaking spanish ] 1674 00:57:18,350 --> 00:57:22,720 Off the chain. 1675 00:57:22,788 --> 00:57:23,922 [ speaking spanish ] 1676 00:57:23,989 --> 00:57:24,789 Kicked some ass. 1677 00:57:24,857 --> 00:57:25,356 [ speaking spanish ] 1678 00:57:25,424 --> 00:57:26,024 Do you know what I'm saying? 1679 00:57:26,091 --> 00:57:29,894 >> no, I do not. 1680 00:57:29,962 --> 00:57:35,867 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1681 00:57:35,935 --> 00:57:43,841 A word from our sponsor. 1682 00:57:43,909 --> 00:57:46,678 >> dos equis, por favor. 1683 00:57:46,745 --> 00:57:53,151 >> no, no, no paco, tres equis. 1684 00:57:53,218 --> 00:57:55,954 Tres equis. 1685 00:57:56,021 --> 00:58:03,361 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1686 00:58:03,429 --> 00:58:03,928 Lebron james. 1687 00:58:03,996 --> 00:58:09,000 [ speaking spanish ] 1688 00:58:09,068 --> 00:58:10,501 Hoop there it is. 1689 00:58:10,569 --> 00:58:11,135 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1690 00:58:11,203 --> 00:58:11,903 Aaron rodgers. 1691 00:58:11,971 --> 00:58:14,472 [ speaking spanish ] 1692 00:58:14,540 --> 00:58:16,741 What you talking about, willis? 1693 00:58:16,809 --> 00:58:18,176 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1694 00:58:18,243 --> 00:58:19,844 Alexander ovechkin. 1695 00:58:19,912 --> 00:58:25,383 [ speaking spanish ] 1696 00:58:25,451 --> 00:58:25,750 Snow pock 1697 00:58:32,925 --> 00:58:34,592 Snowpacalypse. 1698 00:58:34,660 --> 00:58:35,193 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1699 00:58:35,260 --> 00:58:35,727 Mark sanchez. 1700 00:58:35,794 --> 00:58:36,611 [ speaking spanish ] 1701 00:58:36,662 --> 00:58:37,478 Getting jiggy with it! 1702 00:58:37,529 --> 00:58:38,079 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1703 00:58:38,146 --> 00:58:38,863 Russell westbrook. 1704 00:58:38,947 --> 00:58:39,447 [ speaking spanish ] 1705 00:58:39,498 --> 00:58:40,581 No soup for you. 1706 00:58:40,649 --> 00:58:41,983 >> [ speaking spanish ] 1707 00:58:42,051 --> 00:58:44,819 Blooper. 1708 00:58:44,887 --> 00:58:54,395 [ laughter ] 1709 00:58:54,463 --> 00:58:55,797 >> blooper. 1710 00:58:55,864 --> 00:58:56,364 Fantastica. 1711 00:58:56,432 --> 00:58:56,931 [ speaking spanish ] 1712 00:58:56,999 --> 00:58:58,099 See ya! 1713 00:58:58,167 --> 00:58:59,734 [ applause ] 1714 00:59:15,968 --> 00:59:19,303 >>> once again, cee lo green! 1715 00:59:19,371 --> 00:59:21,072 [ applause ] 1716 00:59:21,974 --> 00:59:38,322 ♪ 1717 00:59:42,127 --> 00:59:54,305 ♪ 1718 00:59:54,373 --> 00:59:55,439 ♪ I've been living for the 1719 00:59:55,507 --> 00:59:56,574 Weekend but 1720 00:59:56,642 --> 00:59:58,276 No not anymore 1721 00:59:58,343 --> 00:59:59,410 Cause here comes ♪ 1722 00:59:59,478 --> 01:00:01,679 ♪ that for me a feeling 1723 01:00:01,747 --> 01:00:02,547 That fridays famous for 1724 01:00:02,614 --> 01:00:04,248 Yeah, I'm looking for 1725 01:00:04,316 --> 01:00:05,683 Some action and it's ♪ 1726 01:00:05,751 --> 01:00:06,817 ♪ out there somewhere 1727 01:00:06,885 --> 01:00:07,952 You can feel 1728 01:00:08,020 --> 01:00:10,221 The electricity 1729 01:00:10,289 --> 01:00:12,223 Oh in the evening air ♪ 1730 01:00:12,291 --> 01:00:13,057 ♪ and it may just be 1731 01:00:13,125 --> 01:00:16,193 More of the same 1732 01:00:16,261 --> 01:00:17,628 But sometimes you wanna 1733 01:00:17,696 --> 01:00:18,462 Go where everyone ♪ 1734 01:00:18,530 --> 01:00:25,803 ♪ knows your name 1735 01:00:25,871 --> 01:00:27,104 So I guess I'll have to wait and 1736 01:00:27,172 --> 01:00:28,739 See 1737 01:00:28,807 --> 01:00:29,340 But I'm just gonna ♪ 1738 01:00:29,408 --> 01:00:30,174 ♪ let something brand 1739 01:00:30,242 --> 01:00:30,741 New happen to me ♪ 1740 01:00:30,809 --> 01:00:31,309 ♪ and it's alright 1741 01:00:31,376 --> 01:00:32,143 It's alright 1742 01:00:32,210 --> 01:00:32,710 It's alright 1743 01:00:32,778 --> 01:00:37,281 It's alright ♪ 1744 01:00:37,349 --> 01:00:37,848 ♪ it's alright 1745 01:00:37,916 --> 01:00:38,716 Bright lights 1746 01:00:38,784 --> 01:00:40,418 And the big city ♪ 1747 01:00:40,485 --> 01:00:41,819 ♪ it belongs to 1748 01:00:41,887 --> 01:00:48,392 Us tonight ♪ 1749 01:00:48,460 --> 01:00:49,226 ♪ now Friday is cool but 1750 01:00:49,294 --> 01:00:50,061 There's something about 1751 01:00:50,128 --> 01:00:51,796 Saturday night 1752 01:00:51,863 --> 01:00:52,930 You can't say what you ♪ 1753 01:00:52,998 --> 01:00:54,065 ♪ won't do cause you know 1754 01:00:54,132 --> 01:00:57,168 That you just might 1755 01:00:57,235 --> 01:00:59,170 I'm alive this evening it 1756 01:00:59,237 --> 01:01:01,172 Was love at first sight ♪ 1757 01:01:01,239 --> 01:01:02,006 ♪ this Saturday and every 1758 01:01:02,074 --> 01:01:03,441 Saturday for the 1759 01:01:03,508 --> 01:01:04,609 Rest of my life ♪ 1760 01:01:04,676 --> 01:01:05,710 ♪ and everyone's 1761 01:01:05,777 --> 01:01:08,846 Standing in line 1762 01:01:08,914 --> 01:01:10,281 Yeah, looking good 1763 01:01:10,349 --> 01:01:11,115 And looking for a ♪ 1764 01:01:11,183 --> 01:01:13,417 ♪ real good time 1765 01:01:13,485 --> 01:01:14,819 So I'll never have 1766 01:01:14,886 --> 01:01:17,655 To wonder if ♪ 1767 01:01:17,723 --> 01:01:19,957 ♪ I'll have someone to 1768 01:01:20,025 --> 01:01:21,659 Share all of this with ♪ 1769 01:01:21,727 --> 01:01:23,928 ♪ and it's alright 1770 01:01:23,996 --> 01:01:24,495 It's alright 1771 01:01:24,563 --> 01:01:26,197 It's alright 1772 01:01:26,264 --> 01:01:29,333 It's alright ♪ 1773 01:01:29,401 --> 01:01:29,900 ♪ it's alright 1774 01:01:29,968 --> 01:01:30,735 Bright lights 1775 01:01:30,802 --> 01:01:33,304 And the big city ♪ 1776 01:01:33,372 --> 01:01:34,438 ♪ it belongs to 1777 01:01:34,506 --> 01:01:36,707 Us tonight ♪ 1778 01:01:36,775 --> 01:01:53,124 ♪ 1779 01:01:54,993 --> 01:01:59,196 ♪ 1780 01:01:59,264 --> 01:02:02,333 ♪ yes I need it 1781 01:02:02,401 --> 01:02:06,037 Everybody does 1782 01:02:06,104 --> 01:02:07,171 Cocktails and ♪ 1783 01:02:07,239 --> 01:02:08,305 ♪ conversation 1784 01:02:08,373 --> 01:02:10,574 Music can 1785 01:02:10,642 --> 01:02:15,980 Make it long ♪ 1786 01:02:16,048 --> 01:02:16,847 ♪ and it's alright 1787 01:02:16,915 --> 01:02:17,982 It's alright 1788 01:02:18,050 --> 01:02:18,816 It's alright 1789 01:02:18,884 --> 01:02:21,919 It's alright ♪ 1790 01:02:22,020 --> 01:02:22,520 ♪ it's alright 1791 01:02:22,587 --> 01:02:23,654 Bright lights 1792 01:02:23,722 --> 01:02:25,356 And the big city ♪ 1793 01:02:25,424 --> 01:02:26,223 ♪ it belongs 1794 01:02:26,291 --> 01:02:27,391 To us tonight ♪ 1795 01:02:27,459 --> 01:02:43,808 ♪ 1796 01:02:45,043 --> 01:02:50,681 ♪ 1797 01:02:50,749 --> 01:02:53,250 [ cheers and applause ] 1798 01:03:23,154 --> 01:03:23,854 >>> all right, all right, gang, 1799 01:03:23,922 --> 01:03:24,588 As you've heard, kathleen parker 1800 01:03:24,656 --> 01:03:25,155 Is leaving the show. 1801 01:03:25,223 --> 01:03:28,692 So, today we're having auditions 1802 01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:32,730 For the new cohost of "parker 1803 01:03:32,797 --> 01:03:34,932 Spitzer." 1804 01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:35,533 All right, phone time. 1805 01:03:35,600 --> 01:03:36,100 Let's get it started. 1806 01:03:36,167 --> 01:03:44,542 Aah. 1807 01:03:44,609 --> 01:03:47,044 >> first, christiane amanpour. 1808 01:03:47,112 --> 01:03:48,712 >> everyone calls me the bone 1809 01:03:48,780 --> 01:03:49,046 Ranger. 1810 01:03:49,114 --> 01:03:50,281 >> no one calls him that. 1811 01:03:50,348 --> 01:03:51,782 That's something he's trying to 1812 01:03:51,850 --> 01:03:52,082 Start. 1813 01:03:52,150 --> 01:03:53,217 And read the prompter in three, 1814 01:03:53,285 --> 01:03:54,818 Two, one. 1815 01:03:54,886 --> 01:03:58,689 >> hello and welcome to 1816 01:03:58,757 --> 01:03:59,757 "amanpour spitzer." 1817 01:03:59,824 --> 01:04:01,358 Tonight, secretary of state 1818 01:04:01,426 --> 01:04:06,196 Clinton says the 1819 01:04:06,264 --> 01:04:07,798 Palestinian/israeli conflict can 1820 01:04:07,866 --> 01:04:09,300 Be resolved. 1821 01:04:09,367 --> 01:04:10,901 >> that's total crap. 1822 01:04:10,969 --> 01:04:12,536 Nobody has clout in the middle 1823 01:04:12,604 --> 01:04:13,804 East anymore. 1824 01:04:13,872 --> 01:04:14,838 I know how to negotiate. 1825 01:04:14,906 --> 01:04:15,739 I do. 1826 01:04:15,807 --> 01:04:17,775 I once convinced an escort to 1827 01:04:17,842 --> 01:04:21,178 Accept a borders gift card. 1828 01:04:21,246 --> 01:04:22,880 >> you're the most unpleasant 1829 01:04:22,948 --> 01:04:25,215 Man I've ever met, and I've met 1830 01:04:25,283 --> 01:04:25,683 Saddam hussein. 1831 01:04:25,750 --> 01:04:27,084 >> it was a joke. 1832 01:04:27,152 --> 01:04:27,585 Come on. 1833 01:04:27,652 --> 01:04:29,720 >> really bad, eliot. 1834 01:04:29,788 --> 01:04:30,521 Really, really bad. 1835 01:04:30,589 --> 01:04:31,822 >> don't worry, skip. 1836 01:04:31,890 --> 01:04:32,957 We'll find the right fit. 1837 01:04:33,024 --> 01:04:34,959 >> I bet you 5 bucks we don't. 1838 01:04:35,026 --> 01:04:36,794 >> I'd like to take that bet, 1839 01:04:36,861 --> 01:04:37,962 But my wife doesn't let me carry 1840 01:04:38,029 --> 01:04:39,663 Money anymore. 1841 01:04:39,731 --> 01:04:41,432 >> moving on from bravo tv, 1842 01:04:41,499 --> 01:04:47,137 Heidi klum. 1843 01:04:47,205 --> 01:04:47,705 >> guten tag. 1844 01:04:47,772 --> 01:04:48,105 >> perfect. 1845 01:04:48,173 --> 01:04:48,572 Yes. 1846 01:04:48,640 --> 01:04:48,872 Hired. 1847 01:04:48,940 --> 01:04:52,543 >> three, two, one. 1848 01:04:52,611 --> 01:04:56,413 >> welcome to "klum spitzer." 1849 01:04:56,481 --> 01:04:57,181 >> that has a beautiful ring to 1850 01:04:57,248 --> 01:04:58,415 It. 1851 01:04:58,483 --> 01:05:04,188 >> tonight we meet president 1852 01:05:04,255 --> 01:05:05,389 Obama's new economy -- 1853 01:05:05,457 --> 01:05:08,892 Economic council head. 1854 01:05:08,960 --> 01:05:09,994 Gene spurling. 1855 01:05:10,061 --> 01:05:13,163 >> you got it. 1856 01:05:13,231 --> 01:05:14,231 >> he's currently counsel to 1857 01:05:14,299 --> 01:05:16,333 Timothy -- 1858 01:05:16,401 --> 01:05:18,869 >> heidi, I'm sorry, but it 1859 01:05:18,937 --> 01:05:19,637 Doesn't seem like you know much 1860 01:05:19,704 --> 01:05:21,138 About politics. 1861 01:05:21,206 --> 01:05:21,705 >> so am I in or out? 1862 01:05:21,773 --> 01:05:22,106 In or out? 1863 01:05:22,173 --> 01:05:22,473 In or out? 1864 01:05:22,540 --> 01:05:22,840 In? 1865 01:05:22,907 --> 01:05:23,107 Out? 1866 01:05:23,174 --> 01:05:23,674 In? 1867 01:05:23,742 --> 01:05:24,241 Out? 1868 01:05:24,309 --> 01:05:24,541 In? 1869 01:05:24,609 --> 01:05:25,676 Out? 1870 01:05:25,744 --> 01:05:28,212 [ laughter ] 1871 01:05:28,279 --> 01:05:28,912 >> I'm about to say something 1872 01:05:28,980 --> 01:05:29,480 Awful, you should go. 1873 01:05:29,547 --> 01:05:33,917 [ laughter ] 1874 01:05:33,985 --> 01:05:34,351 >> all right. 1875 01:05:34,419 --> 01:05:35,052 That's it, eliot. 1876 01:05:35,120 --> 01:05:35,619 No one's left. 1877 01:05:35,687 --> 01:05:36,186 >> so what? 1878 01:05:36,254 --> 01:05:38,188 I don't get a new co-host? 1879 01:05:38,256 --> 01:05:38,922 >> not unless you know someone 1880 01:05:38,990 --> 01:05:39,590 That's out of a job and can 1881 01:05:39,658 --> 01:05:46,130 Tolerate working with you. 1882 01:05:46,197 --> 01:05:49,066 >> hello and welcome to 1883 01:05:49,134 --> 01:05:50,167 "patterson spitzer." 1884 01:05:50,235 --> 01:05:50,834 Tonight a year after the 1885 01:05:50,902 --> 01:05:53,170 Earthquake in haiti, rubble is 1886 01:05:53,238 --> 01:05:58,442 Still piled in the streets. 1887 01:05:58,510 --> 01:06:00,010 Port-au-prince is covered in so 1888 01:06:00,078 --> 01:06:00,744 Much garbage, they might rename 1889 01:06:00,812 --> 01:06:01,178 It new jersey. 1890 01:06:01,246 --> 01:06:01,712 [ laughter ] 1891 01:06:01,780 --> 01:06:02,446 >> this is my favorite person in 1892 01:06:02,514 --> 01:06:02,846 The world. 1893 01:06:02,914 --> 01:06:03,247 High five. 1894 01:06:03,314 --> 01:06:05,115 [ laughter and applause ] 1895 01:06:17,979 --> 01:06:19,846 >>> I had the best time ever! 1896 01:06:19,914 --> 01:06:22,883 Thanks to cee lo green, paul 1897 01:06:22,951 --> 01:06:26,019 Reubens and the cast. 1898 01:06:26,087 --> 01:06:29,656 Have a good night!