1
00:00:00,127 --> 00:00:02,387
(Guns firing, explosions)

2
00:00:02,388 --> 00:00:04,471
Mike, get your shoes on! Let's go!

3
00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:06,286
I'm right in the middle
of taking Guadalcanal,

4
00:00:06,287 --> 00:00:08,634
and I can't abandon my battalion.

5
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,211
Those guys have families
back home, Molly.

6
00:00:12,748 --> 00:00:16,173
They also have helmets and guns, and
I'm going to your mother's unarmed.

7
00:00:17,487 --> 00:00:19,720
Oh, cool, you can shoot the coconuts.

8
00:00:19,721 --> 00:00:21,350
(Mimics explosion)

9
00:00:21,470 --> 00:00:24,380
Your mother's gone to a lot of
trouble making dinner for us.

10
00:00:24,381 --> 00:00:28,094
The least we can do is show up on
time and pretend to enjoy ourselves.

11
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:32,016
Hey, whatever we're having, she
cooked and froze two years ago.

12
00:00:32,659 --> 00:00:34,750
She doesn't even know
what it is till it melts.

13
00:00:34,751 --> 00:00:36,860
Could be stew, could be cake.

14
00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:40,065
Just call her and tell her
that we're on our way.

15
00:00:40,066 --> 00:00:41,269
Fine.

16
00:00:41,313 --> 00:00:43,117
If we're late, I'm gonna be
the one getting the stink eye

17
00:00:43,118 --> 00:00:45,232
from your mother and her ugly dog.

18
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:48,393
Hi, mom, just wanted to let you know
we're on our way.

19
00:00:48,394 --> 00:00:50,566
Yeah, we're headed down
the stairs right now.

20
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,741
Molly, watch your step!

21
00:00:52,842 --> 00:00:54,983
Oh, dear God, no!

22
00:00:57,599 --> 00:01:00,439
I'm fine, Mrs. Biggs. We'll be
there in about ten minutes.

23
00:01:02,306 --> 00:01:03,519
Really?

24
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,943
I took a shot.

25
00:01:07,784 --> 00:01:12,976
♪ For the first time in my life ♪

26
00:01:13,099 --> 00:01:16,861
♪ I see love ♪

27
00:01:27,436 --> 00:01:29,216
What was that dinner, meat loaf?

28
00:01:29,217 --> 00:01:31,657
Who knows? Might've been banana bread.

29
00:01:32,737 --> 00:01:36,668
Hey, I wrapped up some leftover
lasagna for you kids to take home.

30
00:01:37,991 --> 00:01:40,437
Listen, Mikey, if you're not doing
anything Tuesday afternoon

31
00:01:40,438 --> 00:01:42,800
I could use a ride
home from the hospital.

32
00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:44,265
The hospital? What's going on?

33
00:01:44,266 --> 00:01:46,748
Well, according to
"Dr. Needs a New Sports Car"

34
00:01:46,749 --> 00:01:50,652
my gallbladder's on the fritz, so
they gotta cut me open and yank it out.

35
00:01:51,249 --> 00:01:53,998
- Why am I just hearing about about this?
- I didn't want to worry you.

36
00:01:53,999 --> 00:01:57,824
You know I'm not the type to dump
my problems in somebody else's lap.

37
00:01:59,046 --> 00:02:02,000
Mom, you call me when the
paperboy misses the front stoop.

38
00:02:02,001 --> 00:02:05,807
I think that perv does it on purpose
to get me to bend over in my robe,

39
00:02:05,808 --> 00:02:08,797
hoping one of "the girls" flops out.

40
00:02:11,915 --> 00:02:14,408
So do you have a ride to the hospital?

41
00:02:14,409 --> 00:02:15,407
I'll take the bus.

42
00:02:15,408 --> 00:02:19,093
I can put my money in my shoe
and carry a can of bum-be-gone.

43
00:02:19,970 --> 00:02:22,970
No, that's crazy. I'm happy
to drive you there and back.

44
00:02:22,971 --> 00:02:26,032
Okay, but after the surgery,
be sure to call the hospital.

45
00:02:26,033 --> 00:02:27,378
If I go toes-up on the table,

46
00:02:27,379 --> 00:02:30,357
I don't want you to waste
your gas or ruin your evening.

47
00:02:30,532 --> 00:02:32,359
Mom, don't say that.
You're gonna be fine.

48
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,562
Gallbladder surgery's actually
pretty routine these days.

49
00:02:35,563 --> 00:02:38,722
Oh, I didn't know you were
dating a trained physician.

50
00:02:40,555 --> 00:02:44,035
No, I'm just saying it's not necessarily
a life-threatening operation.

51
00:02:44,036 --> 00:02:46,564
Hey, any time you give
a woman my age the gas,

52
00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:49,265
it's a coin flip whether
she'll wake up or not.

53
00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:54,064
Oh, and by the way, I put "do not
resuscitate" instructions in my living will.

54
00:02:54,065 --> 00:02:55,870
I'm sure it's not gonna come to that.

55
00:02:55,871 --> 00:02:58,209
Well, if it does, don't
let me lay there drooling

56
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:00,703
or making crazy vegetable talk.

57
00:03:02,941 --> 00:03:05,128
Mom, I am not gonna
pull the plug on you.

58
00:03:05,129 --> 00:03:07,962
If you're too squeamish, have
your little girlfriend do it.

59
00:03:07,963 --> 00:03:10,023
Just make sure there's
no chance of recovery,

60
00:03:10,024 --> 00:03:11,796
before you let her kill me.

61
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,088
Mrs. Biggs, I realize you're
worried about this whole thing,

62
00:03:17,089 --> 00:03:18,912
but you shouldn't blow
it out of proportion.

63
00:03:18,913 --> 00:03:21,242
This is the casket I want.

64
00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:27,892
It's the "solid mahogany classic"
with the tufted champagne satin lining.

65
00:03:28,554 --> 00:03:29,817
It looks nice.

66
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:32,240
I'm sure you'll be very comfortable.

67
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:34,223
This is crazy.

68
00:03:34,224 --> 00:03:36,801
We don't need to worry
about caskets and funerals.

69
00:03:36,802 --> 00:03:40,339
No, you don't, because your father and
I made all the arrangements years ago...

70
00:03:40,340 --> 00:03:43,190
Bought side-by-side plots,
picked out the headstone

71
00:03:43,191 --> 00:03:44,870
and had our names carved on it.

72
00:03:44,871 --> 00:03:47,336
Hang on a second. You're saying
somewhere in Chicago there's

73
00:03:47,337 --> 00:03:49,711
an empty grave with
your name already on it?

74
00:03:49,712 --> 00:03:51,342
All you gotta do is drain me, dump me

75
00:03:51,343 --> 00:03:54,957
and get somebody with a decent
voice to sing "The Old Rugged Cross."

76
00:03:56,341 --> 00:03:58,506
All right, enough of this.
You are going to be fine.

77
00:03:58,507 --> 00:04:01,809
Oh, and you'll need to get your
dad's name scraped off the headstone.

78
00:04:01,810 --> 00:04:03,465
If he thinks he can
run off with that whore

79
00:04:03,466 --> 00:04:07,068
and get a free dirt nap next to me,
he's very much mistaken.

80
00:04:08,537 --> 00:04:10,916
So, you're gonna use the
other grave for, like, what,

81
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:14,021
storage... or Jim?

82
00:04:16,135 --> 00:04:18,945
No, Jim wants to be cremated
and have his ashes scattered

83
00:04:18,946 --> 00:04:21,332
either in the backyard or Yosemite.

84
00:04:22,446 --> 00:04:23,665
Really?

85
00:04:23,822 --> 00:04:26,884
- And how do you know that?
- I've had him since he was a puppy.

86
00:04:26,885 --> 00:04:28,271
You just know.

87
00:04:29,539 --> 00:04:32,413
Anyway, Mikey, the extra
grave is yours, if you want it.

88
00:04:32,414 --> 00:04:34,484
Well, look, that's very
generous of you, mom,

89
00:04:34,485 --> 00:04:36,072
but you're not going
anywhere and I'm guessing

90
00:04:36,073 --> 00:04:39,211
when the time does come,
I'll be buried next to Molly.

91
00:04:39,593 --> 00:04:40,543
What?

92
00:04:41,695 --> 00:04:46,008
Mike, we haven't even
bought a couch together yet.

93
00:04:46,009 --> 00:04:48,337
Let's, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

94
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:50,947
Right, sorry.

95
00:04:50,948 --> 00:04:54,993
You might want to be cremated
or be frozen like Ted Williams' head.

96
00:04:56,071 --> 00:04:58,803
Oh, that reminds me, I defrosted a pie.

97
00:05:03,730 --> 00:05:06,434
You weren't serious about
the burial thing, right?

98
00:05:06,435 --> 00:05:09,446
No, no. I made a joke about
being buried next to you

99
00:05:09,447 --> 00:05:11,700
and you made a joke
about not wanting to be.

100
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:12,999
Everybody was joking.

101
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,231
Everything is funny.

102
00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:22,555
Man, I love directing traffic.

103
00:05:22,950 --> 00:05:24,119
Getting to wear the gloves...

104
00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:26,419
Which, in my book, dress up any outfit.

105
00:05:27,699 --> 00:05:28,719
Yeah, it's a lot of fun

106
00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:32,038
standing in the snow, waving
my arms around like a fat mime.

107
00:05:33,604 --> 00:05:35,136
You don't see the poetry in it.

108
00:05:35,137 --> 00:05:37,887
We are the conductors and
the cars are the orchestra.

109
00:05:37,888 --> 00:05:40,104
♪ Camry, Camry, come on ♪

110
00:05:40,105 --> 00:05:41,262
♪ dump truck, hold ♪

111
00:05:41,263 --> 00:05:45,057
♪ give me a little Vespa here, city bus! ♪

112
00:05:45,717 --> 00:05:47,984
Spoken like a man who's
never been given the finger

113
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:50,415
by a shuttle van full of seniors.

114
00:05:51,639 --> 00:05:53,357
You know, you are very negative today.

115
00:05:53,358 --> 00:05:55,449
From the moment I picked you
up, "this sucks, that's bad,

116
00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:56,776
turn off the radio, stop talking."

117
00:05:56,777 --> 00:05:57,931
Stop talking.

118
00:05:58,516 --> 00:06:00,597
Look at this. I ordered
two eggs over medium.

119
00:06:00,598 --> 00:06:02,764
One's over easy, one's over hard.

120
00:06:02,765 --> 00:06:04,408
How do they even do that? Samuel!

121
00:06:04,409 --> 00:06:05,326
What?

122
00:06:05,327 --> 00:06:07,920
Could you please
explain these eggs to me?

123
00:06:07,921 --> 00:06:11,704
Well, there's a mommy
chicken and a daddy chicken.

124
00:06:12,862 --> 00:06:14,608
And when they really love each other...

125
00:06:14,609 --> 00:06:16,595
I ordered two eggs over medium,

126
00:06:16,596 --> 00:06:18,888
not over soft, not over
hard, not one of each.

127
00:06:18,889 --> 00:06:21,565
Two eggs over medium.
You think you can handle that?

128
00:06:21,566 --> 00:06:22,469
My apologies.

129
00:06:22,470 --> 00:06:24,794
I will bring you two eggs over medium.

130
00:06:24,795 --> 00:06:25,645
Thank you.

131
00:06:25,646 --> 00:06:26,730
Now, would you like me to spit on them

132
00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:29,309
in the kitchen or would
you prefer tableside?

133
00:06:31,484 --> 00:06:33,670
I wouldn't push it.
He's in a mood today.

134
00:06:33,671 --> 00:06:36,172
And now, thanks to him, so am I.

135
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:39,950
Excuse me while I go lash
out at the dishwasher...

136
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:41,925
For no apparent reason.

137
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:46,159
All right, tell me what's wrong
'cause I know it ain't about them eggs.

138
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:47,798
I just want what I ordered.

139
00:06:47,799 --> 00:06:51,307
Please, I've seen you eat a fudgesicle
that you dropped in the sand.

140
00:06:52,825 --> 00:06:55,417
You call these plates clean?!

141
00:06:58,361 --> 00:07:00,770
I think Molly and I are
headed for the skids.

142
00:07:01,017 --> 00:07:02,923
What are you talking about?
I thought you guys were doing great.

143
00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:05,700
I thought so, too. But
yesterday, it became pretty clear

144
00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:08,484
that I'm more committed to
this relationship than she is.

145
00:07:08,485 --> 00:07:09,441
And what makes you think that?

146
00:07:09,442 --> 00:07:11,295
I asked her if she wanted
to be buried next to me,

147
00:07:11,296 --> 00:07:13,591
and she looked at me
like I was a crazy person.

148
00:07:15,642 --> 00:07:17,466
Kind of like the way
I'm looking at you now?

149
00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:21,514
All right, I admit it's a little
"cart before the horse",

150
00:07:21,515 --> 00:07:23,703
but her reaction was a real eye-opener.

151
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:26,223
If she'd asked me the same question,
I wouldn't have flinched.

152
00:07:26,224 --> 00:07:28,988
Seems like a very twisted way
to test a woman's commitment.

153
00:07:29,205 --> 00:07:31,184
You haven't even bought
a couch together yet.

154
00:07:35,004 --> 00:07:37,564
Why does everybody hate my couch?

155
00:07:38,174 --> 00:07:39,470
And besides, that's moot.

156
00:07:39,471 --> 00:07:41,798
You and I already made a pact
to have our ashes scattered

157
00:07:41,799 --> 00:07:43,829
along the third-base
line at Wrigley field.

158
00:07:43,830 --> 00:07:45,438
When did we agree to do that?

159
00:07:45,738 --> 00:07:47,485
Two years ago. Cubs, Phillies?

160
00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,158
Quarter beer night?

161
00:07:49,268 --> 00:07:51,218
You made a turban out of your t-shirt?

162
00:07:53,488 --> 00:07:54,771
People complained?

163
00:07:57,113 --> 00:07:59,175
I have absolutely no memory of that.

164
00:07:59,176 --> 00:08:02,314
Huh. Unfortunately, the
entire bleacher section does.

165
00:08:04,331 --> 00:08:06,143
But you do remember our
death pact, though, right?

166
00:08:06,144 --> 00:08:07,378
Yeah, yeah. If you go first,

167
00:08:07,379 --> 00:08:11,143
I clear all sensitive items out of
your bedroom before grandma gets to it.

168
00:08:11,144 --> 00:08:13,554
Everything questionable,
disreputable and inflatable.

169
00:08:15,442 --> 00:08:17,431
And don't just erase
the memory on my laptop.

170
00:08:17,432 --> 00:08:19,322
Run over it with your car,
go at it with a welding torch

171
00:08:19,323 --> 00:08:21,080
and throw it into Lake Michigan.

172
00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:36,270
You know, you didn't have to come.
She's my mom, and I can take care of her.

173
00:08:36,271 --> 00:08:37,226
Oh, don't be silly.

174
00:08:37,227 --> 00:08:39,104
This is part of being a couple.

175
00:08:39,105 --> 00:08:42,668
You know, supporting the other person
when they're going through something.

176
00:08:42,669 --> 00:08:44,037
I appreciate it.

177
00:08:44,038 --> 00:08:46,551
You know, a lot of people bail
when things start to get difficult.

178
00:08:46,552 --> 00:08:49,081
But just so you know, I'm
not that kind of person.

179
00:08:49,104 --> 00:08:50,146
Duly noted.

180
00:08:50,147 --> 00:08:53,910
Mike Biggs sticks like glue,

181
00:08:53,959 --> 00:08:55,880
through thick or thin.

182
00:08:56,116 --> 00:08:57,663
I have no doubt about that.

183
00:08:57,664 --> 00:09:00,552
Even if you got a bad perm or
had to cut off your own arm

184
00:09:00,553 --> 00:09:04,630
in a rock-climbing accident, I'd be
right there by your side, hand-in-hook.

185
00:09:06,150 --> 00:09:07,330
Uh-huh.

186
00:09:07,522 --> 00:09:09,430
Sweetie, are you feeling okay?

187
00:09:09,431 --> 00:09:10,490
Right now I'm fine,

188
00:09:10,491 --> 00:09:14,009
but where would you be if I lost
my arm in a rock-climbing accident?

189
00:09:14,010 --> 00:09:18,881
Well, I'd be living in a parallel world
where you had the ability to climb rocks.

190
00:09:21,288 --> 00:09:23,958
All right, clearly, you are not ready
to have this conversation!

191
00:09:23,959 --> 00:09:27,036
I don't even know what
this conversation is!

192
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:32,262
All right, I laid my
burial dress on the bed.

193
00:09:33,835 --> 00:09:36,650
Don't bother with the control-top
pantyhose or fancy shoes.

194
00:09:36,651 --> 00:09:39,818
The good lord already knows
I have a paunch and hammertoes.

195
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,400
Mom, quit talking like that.
You're gonna be fine.

196
00:09:43,401 --> 00:09:45,432
Oh, I put stickers
underneath the furniture

197
00:09:45,433 --> 00:09:48,288
with the names of the
people it goes to if I kick.

198
00:09:49,961 --> 00:09:52,372
"The usher at the church
with the weird ear.

199
00:09:53,423 --> 00:09:55,701
Oh, and here's Jim's eyedrops.

200
00:09:55,702 --> 00:09:57,993
He's got glaucoma in his right peeper.

201
00:09:57,994 --> 00:10:00,102
Two drops every six hours.

202
00:10:02,682 --> 00:10:04,337
So I'm, I'm taking care of Jim?

203
00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:07,620
Mikey doesn't have a yard, plus
he lives above an Asian family.

204
00:10:07,621 --> 00:10:10,945
Now, I know they don't all
eat dog, but why bait the hook?

205
00:10:14,024 --> 00:10:18,530
Well, I'm more than happy
to babysit this little guy.

206
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:20,573
You sure? It's a pretty big commitment.

207
00:10:20,574 --> 00:10:24,049
Not at all. We're gonna
have fun, aren't we, Jim?

208
00:10:24,050 --> 00:10:26,697
Don't patronize him.
It gives him the squirts.

209
00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:31,025
Feed him twice a day.

210
00:10:31,026 --> 00:10:33,479
No chocolate or table scraps.

211
00:10:33,699 --> 00:10:36,339
Oh, and if I should happen to croak,

212
00:10:36,340 --> 00:10:37,965
for God's sake, don't tell him.

213
00:10:37,966 --> 00:10:40,947
He'll jump in front of a bus
just to be with me in heaven.

214
00:10:43,734 --> 00:10:44,997
Mrs. Biggs, you're gonna be fine.

215
00:10:44,998 --> 00:10:46,746
But if anything does happen,

216
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:50,453
I promise to give Jim a happy
home for the rest of his life.

217
00:10:50,454 --> 00:10:54,289
But if you do change your mind
about Jim or find a better dog,

218
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:57,314
please, call me to come get him,
and don't put him to sleep.

219
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,966
She wouldn't really do that, would she?

220
00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:03,009
I couldn't tell you, mom. I don't
even know who she is anymore.

221
00:11:04,927 --> 00:11:08,915
I think the old one
made the big one crazy.

222
00:11:14,519 --> 00:11:15,959
Come on, come on, come on, come on.

223
00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:17,918
Come on, Jim. Eat your dinner.

224
00:11:17,919 --> 00:11:19,095
Come on.

225
00:11:22,302 --> 00:11:24,488
Here, why don't you throw some
of my spaghetti on top of it.

226
00:11:24,489 --> 00:11:26,379
No, he can't eat table scraps.

227
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:27,865
But dogs love spaghetti.

228
00:11:27,866 --> 00:11:29,784
<i>Didn't you see Lady and the Tramp?</i>

229
00:11:31,822 --> 00:11:34,086
Maybe just a little bit of sauce.

230
00:11:34,087 --> 00:11:35,335
All right, Jim.

231
00:11:35,336 --> 00:11:39,051
Ho, ho, ho, we've got
a special treat for you.

232
00:11:39,052 --> 00:11:42,399
Oh, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

233
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,299
Eat up.

234
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,584
(Smacking lips)

235
00:11:50,217 --> 00:11:51,214
He might not be hungry.

236
00:11:51,215 --> 00:11:54,026
He's been snacking on his
backside for the last hour.

237
00:11:55,952 --> 00:11:59,058
Why don't take him outside and
help him work up an appetite.

238
00:11:59,059 --> 00:12:00,027
Come on, baby.

239
00:12:00,028 --> 00:12:03,480
You're going for a walk
with auntie Victoria.

240
00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:05,967
Have you heard from Mike yet?

241
00:12:05,968 --> 00:12:09,655
I tried to call him again at the hospital,
but he's not answering his phone.

242
00:12:09,999 --> 00:12:11,458
Everything okay between you two?

243
00:12:11,459 --> 00:12:14,468
No. He's been acting so strange lately.

244
00:12:15,062 --> 00:12:17,230
Kind of feels like he's pushing me away.

245
00:12:17,335 --> 00:12:20,609
Well, maybe he's just freaked out
about his mama going under the knife.

246
00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:23,016
I'm sure that's part if it, but
it's going to take a lot more

247
00:12:23,017 --> 00:12:24,811
than a bad gallbladder
to bring her down.

248
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:27,564
I'm guessing you have to
drop a farmhouse on her.

249
00:12:28,687 --> 00:12:30,531
Well, whatever he's upset about,

250
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:33,113
I'm sure it's not as
complicated as you think.

251
00:12:33,114 --> 00:12:35,311
Men are pretty basic creatures.

252
00:12:35,312 --> 00:12:37,468
I know. Mike's usually
not a difficult read,

253
00:12:37,469 --> 00:12:39,240
but I've gone through
my normal checklist.

254
00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:42,372
Is him tired, is him
hungry, is him horny?

255
00:12:42,642 --> 00:12:43,959
It's usually one or the other.

256
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,419
Hmm, don't I know it.
Sometimes it's all three.

257
00:12:47,436 --> 00:12:48,655
How do you deal with that?

258
00:12:48,656 --> 00:12:50,454
Climb on top of him with
a cookie in your mouth

259
00:12:50,455 --> 00:12:52,248
and wait for him to fall asleep.

260
00:12:58,068 --> 00:13:00,672
Whoa, somebody found their appetite.

261
00:13:01,898 --> 00:13:06,259
Yeah. Jim and I had a nice
little walk behind the garage.

262
00:13:08,195 --> 00:13:11,519
Man, he makes that dog
food look really tasty.

263
00:13:15,697 --> 00:13:17,613
Okay, I'm going to go home.

264
00:13:17,652 --> 00:13:19,621
Try to get some sleep.
You've got a big day tomorrow.

265
00:13:19,622 --> 00:13:21,975
Wait, Mikey, before you go...

266
00:13:21,976 --> 00:13:24,365
I want you to hold on
to something for me.

267
00:13:25,062 --> 00:13:26,660
Your engagement ring.

268
00:13:26,661 --> 00:13:27,958
And if I don't pull through,

269
00:13:27,959 --> 00:13:31,174
you might think about giving it
to that girl of yours someday.

270
00:13:31,506 --> 00:13:34,636
We'll see. Maybe. I hope so.

271
00:13:34,757 --> 00:13:35,851
Come on.

272
00:13:35,852 --> 00:13:37,833
I've seen the way you look at her.

273
00:13:38,322 --> 00:13:41,675
I mean, she's a little loud
and goofy for my taste.

274
00:13:42,382 --> 00:13:44,881
Has a way of making
everything about her.

275
00:13:47,595 --> 00:13:51,710
But I wouldn't have left Jim with her
if I didn't think she was a good person.

276
00:13:53,992 --> 00:13:56,304
- Mom, let me ask you something.
- Hmm.

277
00:13:56,603 --> 00:13:58,510
If you'd have known things
were going to go south

278
00:13:58,511 --> 00:14:01,007
between you and dad, would
you still have married him?

279
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:03,686
You mean, if I knew he was going
to bust up our little family

280
00:14:03,687 --> 00:14:06,479
to run off with a professional
face-squatter?

281
00:14:13,714 --> 00:14:14,898
Yeah.

282
00:14:16,406 --> 00:14:18,010
Would you still have
built a life with him

283
00:14:18,011 --> 00:14:20,506
if you knew you were going
to go through all that pain?

284
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:22,649
I guess so.

285
00:14:23,011 --> 00:14:24,006
Why?

286
00:14:24,595 --> 00:14:27,462
Well, if I hadn't taken
a chance on that dirt bag,

287
00:14:27,463 --> 00:14:29,459
I wouldn't have you, would I?

288
00:14:32,441 --> 00:14:33,827
I love you, ma.

289
00:14:34,222 --> 00:14:35,340
Love you too, boy.

290
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,667
Okay, I'll be back first
thing in the morning.

291
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:39,346
Oh, and one more thing.

292
00:14:39,347 --> 00:14:41,704
If I don't make it
through the operation...

293
00:14:41,705 --> 00:14:43,624
- Quit saying that.
- Just in case,

294
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:47,868
have one of the nurses pin this to my
gown before they wheel me into the morgue.

295
00:14:48,717 --> 00:14:51,671
"What you're doing is wrong,
and you're going to hell."

296
00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:57,168
Any creep that spends his
life working with dead bodies

297
00:14:57,169 --> 00:14:59,180
is not just in it for the money.

298
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:09,264
- Hey.
- Hey.

299
00:15:09,717 --> 00:15:11,282
What's up with Jim?

300
00:15:12,129 --> 00:15:14,118
He's a little out of it.

301
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,496
We danced for a while
and then he crashed.

302
00:15:21,599 --> 00:15:23,421
I wish I could get some sleep.

303
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:27,461
It's been so long since I've slept
alone, I guess I'm not used to it anymore.

304
00:15:27,567 --> 00:15:29,203
You miss Mike, huh?

305
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:32,995
Yeah. The bed just feels
so empty without him.

306
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:36,419
Well, part of that is
that he's a very large man.

307
00:15:38,797 --> 00:15:40,831
Any idea what he's upset about?

308
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:43,672
It started when he asked
to be buried next to me,

309
00:15:43,673 --> 00:15:45,386
and I didn't know what to say.

310
00:15:45,389 --> 00:15:48,682
Well, that's kind of sweet that he's
thinking that far ahead, though, right?

311
00:15:49,110 --> 00:15:52,224
I guess, but I can't answer
that question honestly.

312
00:15:52,225 --> 00:15:55,406
I mean, who knows what can
happen from one day to the next?

313
00:15:55,407 --> 00:15:56,466
True.

314
00:15:56,877 --> 00:16:00,315
If you had told me yesterday that I'd
be getting stoned with a dog tonight,

315
00:16:00,316 --> 00:16:02,218
I'd have been very skeptical.

316
00:16:03,267 --> 00:16:05,080
But here we are.

317
00:16:07,547 --> 00:16:10,891
I love Mike, but I
can't predict the future,

318
00:16:10,892 --> 00:16:13,672
and I don't want to make
promises to him that I can't keep.

319
00:16:13,673 --> 00:16:17,785
Well, there's nothing wrong with making
a promise that you want to keep, right?

320
00:16:18,815 --> 00:16:19,872
What do you mean?

321
00:16:20,383 --> 00:16:22,115
Remember when dad died?

322
00:16:22,143 --> 00:16:24,123
We were both just kids.

323
00:16:24,175 --> 00:16:27,876
But you held me in your arms and
said you'd take care of me forever.

324
00:16:28,299 --> 00:16:29,395
I remember.

325
00:16:29,612 --> 00:16:32,177
And you've kept true
to that promise so far.

326
00:16:32,649 --> 00:16:33,733
Have I?

327
00:16:34,392 --> 00:16:37,211
All except the part about
us being ballerina princesses

328
00:16:37,212 --> 00:16:39,218
living in a chocolate castle.

329
00:16:41,394 --> 00:16:43,999
Well, you never know
what tomorrow may bring.

330
00:16:44,413 --> 00:16:45,437
Right?

331
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:50,093
- Good night.
- Good night.

332
00:16:50,611 --> 00:16:51,550
Hey.

333
00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:54,518
If you want, you can
put one of Mike's shirts

334
00:16:54,519 --> 00:16:57,391
on my beanbag chair and sleep with that.

335
00:16:58,832 --> 00:17:02,313
(Laughing)
No...

336
00:17:03,145 --> 00:17:04,905
Actually, that might work.

337
00:17:09,675 --> 00:17:11,927
The doctor said everything
came off without a hitch

338
00:17:11,928 --> 00:17:14,267
and you can probably go home tomorrow.

339
00:17:14,268 --> 00:17:16,630
Can't get rid of me fast enough, huh?

340
00:17:16,631 --> 00:17:19,428
It's all about turnover
in this slaughterhouse.

341
00:17:19,951 --> 00:17:21,009
(Knocking on door)

342
00:17:21,010 --> 00:17:22,306
Molly: Hello.

343
00:17:22,439 --> 00:17:24,355
Mrs. Biggs, how are you feeling?

344
00:17:24,356 --> 00:17:27,338
Like a gutted trout.
How are you this morning?

345
00:17:28,697 --> 00:17:30,881
Good. I brought you some flowers.

346
00:17:30,882 --> 00:17:32,395
No candy, huh?

347
00:17:32,396 --> 00:17:35,191
Yeah, probably wouldn't
survive the drive over.

348
00:17:37,176 --> 00:17:40,472
Well, you seem like you're
back to your old feisty self.

349
00:17:42,178 --> 00:17:43,569
Is there a vase anywhere?

350
00:17:43,570 --> 00:17:47,753
Use my neighbor's water pitcher.
I think she flat-lined last night.

351
00:17:49,336 --> 00:17:51,833
Or requested to be
moved to another room.

352
00:17:53,428 --> 00:17:54,794
It's nice of you to come by.

353
00:17:54,795 --> 00:17:57,678
Don't be silly.
Can I talk to you for a second?

354
00:17:57,679 --> 00:17:59,725
Sure. I'll be right back.

355
00:17:59,756 --> 00:18:04,191
That's what your father said when he
went out to get cigarettes 20 years ago.

356
00:18:05,390 --> 00:18:06,899
Yeah, well, I don't smoke.

357
00:18:06,900 --> 00:18:08,442
Neither did he.

358
00:18:09,991 --> 00:18:11,003
What's up?

359
00:18:12,117 --> 00:18:13,100
Look, I just...

360
00:18:13,101 --> 00:18:17,895
I want you to know that I love you
and I'm not planning on going anywhere.

361
00:18:17,896 --> 00:18:20,505
So you're saying when you do dump me
it'll just be out of the blue.

362
00:18:20,506 --> 00:18:22,932
Mike, stop it.

363
00:18:23,272 --> 00:18:26,291
What we have right now is,
it's pretty great.

364
00:18:26,292 --> 00:18:27,308
Isn't it?

365
00:18:27,322 --> 00:18:28,932
It's the best.

366
00:18:29,615 --> 00:18:32,461
Then can't we just
concentrate on what we have

367
00:18:32,462 --> 00:18:35,131
and not put so much
pressure on the future?

368
00:18:35,243 --> 00:18:38,850
You mean live in the moment and
appreciate life as it comes along.

369
00:18:39,730 --> 00:18:40,554
Exactly.

370
00:18:40,555 --> 00:18:44,542
- Yeah, I'm not very good at that.
- Me neither.

371
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:47,117
That's why I'm trying
to take things slow

372
00:18:47,118 --> 00:18:50,545
and not... not get ahead of ourselves.

373
00:18:51,353 --> 00:18:52,477
I'm sorry.

374
00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:55,948
I guess the idea of losing my mom
started me thinking about losing you,

375
00:18:55,949 --> 00:18:57,839
and I kind of panicked.

376
00:18:58,370 --> 00:18:59,928
You're not gonna lose me.

377
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,431
- Ever?
- Mike.

378
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:05,685
Can you at least say, at this moment,
you want to be with me forever?

379
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:09,452
At this moment, I want
to be with you forever.

380
00:19:09,453 --> 00:19:11,716
- There. Now was that so hard?
- (Chuckles)

381
00:19:13,274 --> 00:19:15,703
Not to be a mood breaker,
but one of you lovebirds

382
00:19:15,704 --> 00:19:18,934
better slide a bedpan
underneath my keister.

383
00:19:22,379 --> 00:19:23,940
I'll wait in the hall.

384
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:29,236
Nurse!

385
00:19:31,924 --> 00:19:33,626
I'm gonna need a nurse!

386
00:19:37,153 --> 00:19:39,766
Oh, now we are talking.

387
00:19:39,767 --> 00:19:41,495
Very stylish.

388
00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:44,305
Not many straight guys
can pull off that look.

389
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:47,432
Okay, time for Jim to go home.

390
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:48,869
Oh, so soon?

391
00:19:48,870 --> 00:19:50,824
I thought he was going to
be here a couple more days.

392
00:19:50,825 --> 00:19:53,934
Well, Mike's mom is back on her feet,
and I think she misses him.

393
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,478
I get it. He's an easy hang.

394
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,705
Time to say your good-byes.

395
00:19:58,706 --> 00:19:59,968
Okay.

396
00:20:00,495 --> 00:20:02,058
Good-bye,Jimbo.

397
00:20:02,059 --> 00:20:04,216
I've enjoyed our talks.

398
00:20:04,424 --> 00:20:06,776
And our walks, if you know what I mean.

399
00:20:08,310 --> 00:20:10,142
He knows what I mean.

400
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,684
Just give him here.

401
00:20:11,685 --> 00:20:14,545
Whoa, ooh, he's packed on
a few pounds, hasn't he?

402
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:16,836
Yeah, little dude likes to munch.

403
00:20:18,090 --> 00:20:20,373
Oh, and tell Mrs. Biggs I don't think

404
00:20:20,374 --> 00:20:22,042
we're going to need
those eyedrops anymore.

405
00:20:22,043 --> 00:20:25,134
I think we've got that
glaucoma nipped in the bud.

406
00:20:26,561 --> 00:20:28,295
Oh, great, now I've gotta
explain to Mike's mom

407
00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:31,468
why her dog smells like
Willie Nelson's tour bus.

408
00:20:31,990 --> 00:20:34,761
Synch by Benfo, corrections by GeirDM
for www.addic7ed.com