1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:03,399 So here's what you missed on Glee. 2 00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:05,028 Sue tried to shoot Brittany out of a cannon. 3 00:00:05,105 --> 00:00:07,630 It wasn't safe, so Brit, Santana and Quinn quit the Cheerios. 4 00:00:07,707 --> 00:00:09,971 - Sucks for you. - Now we get to see what they look like In street clothes. 5 00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,068 Finn broke up with Rachel because she made out with Puck... 6 00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,477 but then Quinn kissed Finn after the big game , even though she's been dating Sam. 7 00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:17,880 Yikes! It used to be a love triangle, and now It's like a pentagon. 8 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:19,509 And that's what you missed on Glee. 9 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,786 We all know I'm not the smartest guy in the world... 10 00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:27,088 but there are two lessons I learned the hard way. 11 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,128 One: Never punch a cop. 12 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:34,690 The other one: You can't choose love. Love chooses you. 13 00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:37,965 I mean, I could have any girl I wanted... 14 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:42,134 but here I am in the middle of Geometry or English or something... 15 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,506 and the only girl I've got my eye on is... 16 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,408 a whole lot of woman. 17 00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,140 I owe it all to sectionals. 18 00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:51,012 We needed a 12th member, and I told her if she joined the Glee Club... 19 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,143 I'd give her seven minutes in heaven. 20 00:00:56,189 --> 00:01:00,182 But what went down in that janitor's closet was... epic. 21 00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:04,354 - You're really not good at this and kinda scrawny. - You gotta be kidding me. 22 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,036 Yeah, you're not turning me on at all. 23 00:01:10,103 --> 00:01:13,630 - Later, sad sack. - But that was only three minutes. 24 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:15,196 Three minutes I'll never get back. 25 00:01:17,043 --> 00:01:19,637 Maybe it's because she's constantly insulting me like my mom. 26 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:21,703 Maybe I just dig a chick with curves. 27 00:01:21,781 --> 00:01:24,443 But it's almost Valentine's Day, and it's official. 28 00:01:24,517 --> 00:01:26,883 Stare at me again, and I'll break your nuts. 29 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:31,186 Also, these candies you gave me: They sucked. 30 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:34,158 - But you ate all of them. - I had to make sure they all sucked. 31 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,455 I'm in love with Lauren Zizes. 32 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,735 It's amazing what actually accomplishing something does to a person. 33 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:49,104 I know what you're thinking... that they're all only into me... 34 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:52,076 because I won the first conference championship In this school's history... 35 00:01:52,145 --> 00:01:53,737 but I've changed. 36 00:01:53,813 --> 00:01:55,804 I'm walking taller, carrying a bigger stick... 37 00:01:55,882 --> 00:01:57,577 and using It to fight off the ladies. 38 00:01:57,650 --> 00:01:59,982 - I love you, Finnie-bear. - Thanks, Becky. 39 00:02:00,753 --> 00:02:02,812 - Oh! - Be my valentine? 40 00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,983 Awesome. I'll keep you posted. 41 00:02:06,059 --> 00:02:07,993 Copy that. 44 00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:18,499 Bingo. I just need to go for this. 45 00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:22,598 Maybe the reason it never worked out with Rachel was because I was never over Quinn. 46 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:26,270 I know I can pry her away from Sam if I can get her to kiss me again. 47 00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:31,215 The ridiculous thlng is that I could get every girl in this school to kiss me but her. 48 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,774 Game on. 49 00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:40,819 Okay, I'm all for flair, but these Valentine Day decorations are just tacky. 50 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,725 I mean, what the hell is this supposed to be? 51 00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:46,891 It's clearly puppy love. It's cute. Come on. 52 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,797 - I love you! - Oh! 53 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,358 - Adorable. - Okay, this is creepy. 54 00:02:50,436 --> 00:02:54,839 It's a simple excuse to sell candy and greeting cards on a holiday. 55 00:02:54,908 --> 00:02:57,900 Not true. People have been celebrating Valentine's Day for centuries. 56 00:02:57,977 --> 00:03:01,970 - And call me a hopeless romantic, but it's my favorite holiday. - Really? 57 00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,072 I think there's something really great about a day... 58 00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:08,315 where you're encouraged to just lay it all on the line and say to somebody... 59 00:03:08,388 --> 00:03:10,481 "I'm in love with you." 60 00:03:10,557 --> 00:03:13,151 You know? 61 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:16,093 And this year I wanna do something really radical, so I need your opinion on this. 62 00:03:16,162 --> 00:03:21,190 But there's this guy that I sort of... like... 63 00:03:21,267 --> 00:03:23,132 and I've only known him for a little while... 64 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,866 but I wanna tell him that I think my feelings are starting to change into something... 65 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,506 deeper. 66 00:03:30,577 --> 00:03:32,670 So I have to ask, do you think it's too much... 67 00:03:32,745 --> 00:03:34,406 to sing to somebody on Valentine's Day? 68 00:03:35,648 --> 00:03:37,138 Not at all. 69 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:40,275 What can I get you? 70 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:42,787 A medium drip and a grande nonfat mocha for this guy... 71 00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:46,313 and maybe I could get 'em to split one of those Cupid cookies. 72 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,360 You know my coffee order? 73 00:03:48,428 --> 00:03:49,918 Of course I do. 74 00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,861 That'll be 8.40. 75 00:03:51,931 --> 00:03:54,365 Don't even bother, dummy. It's on me. 76 00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,061 Keep the change. 77 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,606 I do believe I have a new favorite holiday. 78 00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:04,142 All right, guys. I have one word for you. 79 00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,839 - Brittany. - Is it "love"? 80 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,347 I'm totally gonna graduate now! 81 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:12,509 Valentine's Day is comin' up, so for this week's lesson... 82 00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,110 I want you guys to pick a partner... 83 00:04:15,188 --> 00:04:19,852 because you're gonna sing to them what you think is the world's greatest love song. 84 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:23,987 Yeah. Find a song that communicates all the things that love means to you. 85 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:25,621 - Now, partner up. - Mr. Schue? 86 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:27,359 Can I say something? 87 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:30,300 I just wanted to point out that, for the first time... 88 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:34,704 an entire week has gone by without any one of us getting Slusheed. 89 00:04:34,774 --> 00:04:37,709 I think the fact that I led the football team to a conference championship... 90 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,677 might have something to do with it. 91 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:43,477 Fact is that I'm the closest thing that this Glee Club has to a celebrity right now... 92 00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:47,451 and, just like a famous athlete, I wanna give to a charity. 93 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:49,181 You guys. 94 00:04:49,255 --> 00:04:52,247 So I'm setting up a kissing booth for a dollar a smooch... 95 00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,850 and donating the proceeds to Glee Club to help us... 96 00:04:54,927 --> 00:04:56,758 Don't even act like you're trying to help this Glee Club out. 97 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:58,729 You just want to kiss a bunch of girls. 98 00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:01,925 I've kissed Finn, and can I just say, "Not worth a buck." 99 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:05,404 I would, however, pay $100 to jiggle one of his man boobs. 100 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:08,269 - Do you ever get tired of tearing other people down? - No, not really. 101 00:05:08,341 --> 00:05:11,003 'Cause you always just seem to be meddling in everybody else's business. 102 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,908 Oh, please. You guys love me. 103 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,970 I keep it real, and I'm hilarious. 104 00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,538 Actually, you're just a bitch. 105 00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:18,049 - Okay. - Whoa, whoa. 106 00:05:18,117 --> 00:05:20,608 I'm sorry. You've just got eyes for my man. 107 00:05:20,687 --> 00:05:22,587 Okay, first of all, I'm not your man. 108 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:25,556 And Finn is right. All you ever do is insult us. 109 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,391 Three weeks ago, you said you were disappointed that I didn't have a lizard baby. 110 00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:32,625 Five minutes ago, you said Mr. Schue belonged in a twelve-step program. 111 00:05:32,699 --> 00:05:34,291 - Wait, what? - You're addicted to vests. 112 00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:37,359 The truth is, Santana, you can dish it out, but you can't take it. 113 00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:39,701 Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe I am destined to play... 114 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:41,706 the title role in the Broadway musical version of Willow... 115 00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:44,299 but the only job you're gonna have is working on a pole. 116 00:05:45,545 --> 00:05:48,912 Fine. 117 00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:50,881 Santana. 118 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:54,351 Maybe try rocking back and forth. People do that in movies. 119 00:05:54,420 --> 00:06:00,188 No. 'Cause I just try to be really, really honest with people... 120 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,524 when I think that they suck, you know? 121 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,053 - Yeah. - No one gets it. 122 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,137 I suppose you want me to thank you for sticking up for me today... 123 00:06:12,205 --> 00:06:14,730 except that makes it seem like I need somebody to stick up for me, so... 124 00:06:14,807 --> 00:06:16,832 Oh, no, no. Trust me. 125 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:19,503 I know that you don't need me to stick up for you. 126 00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:21,410 - You're all kinds of tough. - Mmm. That's true. 127 00:06:21,481 --> 00:06:25,679 How about you let me take you to Breadstix for Valentine's Day? 128 00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:27,982 You seriously think it's that easy? 129 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:32,354 I'm not desperate, so if you really want this, you best come correct. 130 00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:36,418 Because I spell "woman" Z-I-Z-E-S. 131 00:06:36,496 --> 00:06:39,124 And I need to be wooed. You understand me? 132 00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:41,564 Wooed. 133 00:06:41,634 --> 00:06:42,623 Damn. 134 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,138 Hey. Whatcha doin'? 135 00:06:49,208 --> 00:06:53,269 Nothing. Just, uh, daydreaming. Plotting weekend outfits. 136 00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,747 Well, come on. You're gonna want to see this. 137 00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:59,080 I've called an emergency meeting of The Warblers' Council. 138 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,745 - Sounds serious. - Let's hope not. 139 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:05,155 I just need to ask them a tiny, little favor. 140 00:07:05,224 --> 00:07:07,021 This emergency meeting is called to order. 141 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,288 Junior member Blaine Anderson, the floor is yours. 142 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,026 Esteemed Council, I'll be brief. 143 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:14,123 Simply put... 144 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:19,494 - I'm in love. - Ooh! 145 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,665 Congrats. 146 00:07:21,741 --> 00:07:25,677 I'm not really good at talking about my feelings. I'm much better at singing them. 147 00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:28,543 But still, I could use a little help. 148 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:31,242 Which is why I'm asking to enlist The Warblers... 149 00:07:31,317 --> 00:07:34,844 to help serenade this individual in song... 150 00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:37,578 off-campus. 151 00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,488 - What? - Off-campus? 152 00:07:39,559 --> 00:07:41,527 - Yeah, right. No way. Uh-uh. - Are you serious? 153 00:07:42,862 --> 00:07:46,389 I- I know what I'm asking is slightly unusual. 154 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:50,129 The Warblers haven't performed in an informal setting since 1927... 155 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,434 when the Spirit of St. Louis overshot the tarmac and plowed through seven Warblers... 156 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:56,669 during an impromptu rendition of "Welcome to Ohio, Lucky Lindy." 157 00:07:56,742 --> 00:07:59,040 Why would we even consider what you're asking? 158 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,579 I firmly believe that our reticence to perform in public... 159 00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,275 nearly cost us a trip to regionals. 160 00:08:03,349 --> 00:08:05,510 We're becoming privileged, porcelain birds. 161 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:09,854 You mock us, sir! 162 00:08:09,922 --> 00:08:13,585 - Thad, David, I will have order. - May I please say something? 163 00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:19,059 With respect, I believe Blaine has a point. 164 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:23,033 The Warblers are so concerned with image and tradition... 165 00:08:23,102 --> 00:08:28,301 that sometimes I feel like we miss out on opportunities to step outside our comfort zones. 166 00:08:28,374 --> 00:08:31,741 When I was on New Directions, we performed in front of hostile crowds... 167 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,472 pretty much anywhere we went. 168 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:35,878 I mean, mattress stores, shopping malls. 169 00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:38,712 I had a cat thrown at me in a nursing home once. 170 00:08:38,784 --> 00:08:42,982 But it- It gave us confidence. It kept us loose. 171 00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:45,080 And where would this performance take place? 172 00:08:45,157 --> 00:08:47,455 The Gap at the North Hills mall. 173 00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:51,222 I'd like to call it "The Warblers' Gap Attack." 174 00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:52,992 Why The Gap? 175 00:08:53,065 --> 00:08:55,499 The guy that I like is a junior manager. 176 00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:58,264 All those in favor? 177 00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:02,406 - I was absolutely devastated. - ## 178 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:05,706 Did he ever actually say you two were dating? 179 00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,236 Well, not in so many words. 180 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,111 Well, did he put the moves on? 181 00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:13,913 No, but we were always singing duets, and he was always smiling at me. 182 00:09:16,122 --> 00:09:18,852 Oh, my God, I made up the whole thing in my head, didn't I? 183 00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:23,828 Listen, we've all been there. At least I have, with you. 184 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:25,523 I know exactly what you mean. 185 00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:28,658 I mean, if Finn thinks that he's just gonna walk out of my life, he's wrong. 186 00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,532 'Cause I'm gonna go up to that kissing booth tomorrow with a $100 bill... 187 00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:33,367 and he's not gonna be able to make change. 188 00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:35,430 Then he's gonna be forced to kiss me 100 times... 189 00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:37,169 - and when his lips touch mine- - Hey. 190 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,803 - He's gonna feel it. - We're supposed to be giving Kurt advice, remember? 191 00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,506 Yeah. 192 00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,039 - So you are going to The Gap Attack though, right? - Sh-Should I? 193 00:09:45,117 --> 00:09:46,778 - Yes! - Mm-hmm. 194 00:09:46,852 --> 00:09:50,015 Scope out the competition. See what this guy's like. 195 00:09:50,089 --> 00:09:52,649 You know, you two are both so guy crazy. 196 00:09:52,725 --> 00:09:57,219 Yeah. Look at me. I don't have a date for Valentine's Day, and I could give a rip. 197 00:09:57,296 --> 00:09:59,161 The three of us are divas. 198 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:03,167 Look at our idols: Whitney, Barbra, Patti LuPone. 199 00:10:03,235 --> 00:10:05,795 They all became stars while they were single. 200 00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:10,137 They took all the pain and loneliness, and they put it into their music. 201 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,975 People can relate to it. Everybody feels lonely. 202 00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:16,537 Harnessing this pain is why they became legends. 203 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:19,674 Why has this never occurred to me? 204 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:23,279 Sometimes you have to choose between love and talent... 205 00:10:23,356 --> 00:10:27,793 and, as far as I'm concerned, we all need to fly solo for a while. 206 00:10:30,830 --> 00:10:34,266 It's so nice to be around girls for a change. 207 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:38,360 - Aw. Here. - Don't sit on the pizza. 208 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:45,567 # Are you gonna take me home tonight? # 209 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:50,912 # Oh, down beside that red firelight # 210 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:55,545 # Are you gonna let it all hang out? # 211 00:10:55,621 --> 00:11:00,718 # Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round # 212 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,522 Hey! 213 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,261 # I was just a skinny lad # 214 00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,599 # Never knew no good from bad # 215 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:16,870 # But I knew love before I left my nursery # 216 00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:19,809 # Left alone with big fat Fanny # 217 00:11:19,879 --> 00:11:23,144 # She was such a naughty nanny # 218 00:11:23,215 --> 00:11:27,549 # Hey, big woman, you made a bad boy outta me # 219 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,563 # I've been singin' with my band # 220 00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:41,065 # Across the water Across the land # 221 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:45,126 # I seen every blue-eyed floozy on the way # 222 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:47,331 - # Hey # - Whoo! 223 00:11:47,406 --> 00:11:49,636 - # But their beauty and their style # - Whoo! 224 00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:52,007 # Went kinda smooth after a while # 225 00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:57,015 # Take me to them lardy ladies every time # 226 00:11:57,083 --> 00:12:02,578 - Come on! - # Oh, won't you take me home tonight? # 227 00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:08,616 # Oh, down beside your red firelight # 228 00:12:08,694 --> 00:12:12,960 # Are you gonna let it all hang out? # 229 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:17,833 # Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go round # 230 00:12:17,903 --> 00:12:20,463 - # Yeah # - # Fat-bottomed girls, you make the-# 231 00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:24,635 # Rockin' world go round # 232 00:12:24,710 --> 00:12:26,803 Get on your bikes and ride! 233 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,278 # Ooh, yeah # 234 00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:36,947 - # Oh, yeah, them fat-bottomed girls # - # Fat-bottomed girls # 235 00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:40,389 # Yeah, yeah, yeah ## 236 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,337 So, um, what did you think? 237 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,779 I mean, that's kind of my love song to you, 'cause... 238 00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,976 you know, you're a little on the heavier side... 239 00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:11,546 but, like the song says, you know, I'm kind of into it, so... 240 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,024 That was the first time anyone ever sang me a love song. 241 00:13:16,228 --> 00:13:18,321 And it made me feel like crap. 242 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:28,565 I want tongue. 243 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:31,735 Uh, thanks, Becky. 244 00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,711 Yes! 245 00:13:33,779 --> 00:13:37,180 Oh. Sorry, ladies. Brush and floss time. 246 00:13:37,249 --> 00:13:41,549 I gotta keep up with the oral hygiene if I'm gonna satisfy all of you. Sorry. 247 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,451 I know why you're doing this. 248 00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,581 You know I'm the only girl in school that won't kiss you... 249 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,592 and you think the peer pressure will get to me. 250 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,560 Well, it is sort of uncool that you... 251 00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:52,620 you're too uptight to spend a buck for a good cause like Glee Club. 252 00:13:52,698 --> 00:13:54,461 I'm not kissing you again. 253 00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,632 What are you so afraid of? 254 00:13:57,703 --> 00:14:00,604 Leading you on, hurting my boyfriend. 255 00:14:00,706 --> 00:14:02,936 Your boyfriend's a boy. 256 00:14:02,975 --> 00:14:04,738 Tell me you don't wanna kiss me right now. 257 00:14:04,810 --> 00:14:07,870 I can't do this. 258 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:20,455 I saw it. You guys' faces were, like, right up next to each other. 259 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:22,585 Kissing distance. 260 00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:26,054 What are these things? 261 00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:28,599 They're called records. People used to listen to music on them. 262 00:14:28,667 --> 00:14:31,295 I'm looking for a classic love song to sing to you for our assignment... 263 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,304 because, despite your confusion about the matter... 264 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,738 you are the only guy I'm ever within kissing distance of. 265 00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:39,835 Okay, so answer me this then. Why haven't you kissed Finn at his booth yet? 266 00:14:39,912 --> 00:14:42,107 Okay, first you're all up in my business for kissing Finn... 267 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:44,308 - and now you're pissed at me for not kissing him. - It's odd! 268 00:14:44,383 --> 00:14:46,817 - Something seems fishy. I mean- - This is insane. 269 00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:48,410 Shh! 270 00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,615 - Everyone thinks I'm dumb. - Not... everyone. 271 00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:54,921 But I'm not. At least, not about you. 272 00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,326 You play it cool, but you're ambitious. 273 00:14:57,396 --> 00:14:59,557 You like being the queen bee... 274 00:14:59,665 --> 00:15:02,725 and you think being with star quarterback Finn is gonna put you up there... 275 00:15:02,768 --> 00:15:04,861 whether you're wearing a Cheerio's uniform or not. 276 00:15:04,937 --> 00:15:07,269 - I'm pretty, but I ain't dumb. - Fine. 277 00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:10,467 Right after Glee rehearsal, I'm kissing Finn. 278 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:16,504 Thanks. 279 00:15:18,617 --> 00:15:21,381 - Are you sure you can handle this? - Oh, absolutely. 280 00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:24,217 No, I- I've decided that I'm better off without you. 281 00:15:24,290 --> 00:15:26,224 Not without you specifically... 282 00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:29,887 but without any man who's gonna keep me from achieving my goals of stardom. 283 00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,226 Sweet. Uh. 284 00:15:32,298 --> 00:15:35,131 Well, we should probably kiss. There's a lineup. 285 00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:41,501 What- What the hell? On the cheek? 286 00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,472 W-Wait. I thought you said you were over me. 287 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,070 I am, but I still- I still want a real kiss. That was not a dollar kiss. 288 00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,672 I knew you were lying about being through with love and all that stuff. 289 00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:53,684 Okay, fine. I still love you, okay? Is that what you wanna hear? 290 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:02,324 Why can't you just forgive me? 291 00:16:03,362 --> 00:16:04,920 You cheated on me. That means something. 292 00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,363 What does it mean? That I was stupid? That I was angry? 293 00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:11,494 I don't care about Puck. I don't care about anybody but you. 294 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,169 It's Valentine's Day. 295 00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:25,182 Oh, yeah. I ordered it for you for Christmas before we broke up. 296 00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,842 Just open it. 297 00:16:36,528 --> 00:16:40,191 I think you're right about wanting to be alone for a while. 298 00:16:40,265 --> 00:16:43,359 'Cause let's face it, Rachel, you're better than everyone in this school. 299 00:16:43,435 --> 00:16:46,268 You don't need me or any other guy to anchor you to Lima. 300 00:16:46,338 --> 00:16:48,966 You're a real star. 301 00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:50,941 You need to shine. 302 00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,240 Just because I can't be with you... 303 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:55,473 doesn't mean I don't believe in you. 304 00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,320 Thank you. 305 00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:10,090 It's weird. 306 00:17:10,162 --> 00:17:13,154 Who'd have guessed that the quiet, skinny Asian guy and the kid in the wheelchair... 307 00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:16,201 would end up dating two of the raddest girls in school? 308 00:17:16,268 --> 00:17:18,361 - Yeah. - No jealousy, no drama. 309 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:19,426 Nope. 310 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:22,030 - I don't know how we did it. - I do. 311 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,075 - We're dope. - ## 312 00:17:23,075 --> 00:17:24,542 - We're dope. - ## 313 00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:29,013 You know, you- You make me feel so good inside. 314 00:17:29,081 --> 00:17:32,380 I always wanted a girl just like you. 315 00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:36,114 Such a P.Y.T. Pretty Young Thing. 316 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:37,917 Ooh! 317 00:17:39,525 --> 00:17:41,857 # Where did you come from, baby? # 318 00:17:41,927 --> 00:17:44,088 # And, ooh won't you take me there? # 319 00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:45,994 # Right away Won't you, baby? # 320 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,091 # Tenderoni you've got to be # 321 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:52,695 # Spark my nature, sugar Fly with me # 322 00:17:52,771 --> 00:17:57,333 # Don't you know now is the perfect time? # 323 00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,435 # We can make it right Hit the city lights # 324 00:18:00,546 --> 00:18:04,676 # Then tonight, ease the lovin' pain # 325 00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:07,708 # Let me take you to the max # 326 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:09,811 # I want to love you # 327 00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,753 - # P. Y. T. # - # Pretty Young Thing # 328 00:18:11,824 --> 00:18:13,451 # You need some lovin' # 329 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:15,493 - # T.L. C. # - # Tender Lovin' Care # 330 00:18:15,561 --> 00:18:18,689 # And I'll take you there # 331 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,789 # Girl, ooh, ooh # 332 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,697 # I want to love you # 333 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,963 - # P.Y.T. # - # Pretty Young Thing # 334 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:26,698 # You need some lovin' # 335 00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:29,138 - # T.L.C. # - # Tender Lovin' Care # 336 00:18:29,208 --> 00:18:31,506 # And I'll take you there # 337 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,373 # Hee # 338 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,813 # Pretty Young Thlng # 339 00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,374 # What do you say? # 340 00:18:40,452 --> 00:18:43,888 # Pretty Young Things, repeat after me # 341 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,983 - # Sing "Na na na" # - # Na na na # 342 00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:51,894 - # "Na na na na" # - # Na na na na # 343 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:55,195 - # Sing "Na na na" # - # Na na na # 344 00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:57,758 - # "Na na na na na" # - # Na na na na na # 345 00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:00,771 # I'll take you there # 346 00:19:00,873 --> 00:19:02,204 # Ooh, ooh # 347 00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:04,732 - # Ooh # - # P.Y.T. # 348 00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,874 - # Ah, baby # - # T.L.C. # 349 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:10,676 # Ah, baby ## 350 00:19:12,751 --> 00:19:15,584 - That's my man, and his legs don't work. - Tenderoni! 351 00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,713 I'm so in love, I may just start crying. 352 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:25,620 - What's that? - It's a receipt. I went to Jared. 353 00:19:25,697 --> 00:19:27,255 You can reimburse me. 354 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,527 We'll have dinner at Breadstix, and then we can consider this settled. 355 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:32,365 Um, no. And consider what settled? 356 00:19:32,437 --> 00:19:35,270 Look, you made your point. I'm sort of a bitch. 357 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,967 But I'm willing to change. 358 00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:38,737 I won't tell Lauren to look out for poachers... 359 00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,937 who might mistake her for the endangered white rhino. 360 00:19:41,013 --> 00:19:45,143 I heard that. Don't make me rip that weave out ya' head. 361 00:19:45,217 --> 00:19:47,583 Oh, this is not gonna be good. 362 00:19:47,653 --> 00:19:51,919 - Hello, Lauren. You are a beautiful person. - Thank you. 363 00:19:51,990 --> 00:19:54,618 Now get out of my way, please, afores I ends you. 364 00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:56,752 You don't wanna push me. 365 00:19:56,828 --> 00:19:59,888 - Oh. - But see, I sorta do. 366 00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:03,457 I'm from a part of town called Lima Heights Adjacent. 367 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:05,730 You know where that is, Poppin' Fresh? 368 00:20:05,804 --> 00:20:09,137 It's on the wrong side of the tracks. 369 00:20:20,152 --> 00:20:21,244 Aaah! 370 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,153 Ow! Come on! 371 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:47,545 Hey! Knock it off and get going! 372 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,974 That's how we do it in Lima Heights. 373 00:20:52,050 --> 00:20:55,645 Let's get you to the nurse. 374 00:20:55,721 --> 00:20:59,054 Please go out with me. Just please. 375 00:20:59,157 --> 00:21:01,751 You make a formal presentation... 376 00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:04,592 and I'll consider it. 377 00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:15,666 Wait. Hold on. I wanna see this. 378 00:21:15,741 --> 00:21:18,904 - Pervert? - I'd prefer "chaperone" and also "boyfriend." 379 00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:40,560 - Satisfied? - Yeah. 380 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:42,532 - Mmm. - Let's go. 381 00:21:42,601 --> 00:21:45,035 So I took a bunch of those records you were lookin' at in the library... 382 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:48,072 - and I'm gonna load them into my iTunes. - Hey, I forgot my purse. 383 00:21:49,775 --> 00:21:52,744 Meet me tomorrow afternoon in the auditorium. 384 00:21:56,214 --> 00:21:57,704 Fireworks. 385 00:22:00,752 --> 00:22:04,779 That's him. The blond one folding sweaters. 386 00:22:04,856 --> 00:22:07,848 - Mmm. I can see the appeal. - That's quite a head of hair. 387 00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:09,621 His name is Jeremiah. 388 00:22:09,695 --> 00:22:13,631 If he and I got married, The Gap would give me a 50% discount. 389 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:16,631 This is insane. I don't know what I'm doing. 390 00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:19,193 We haven't even really gone out on a date. We- We shouldn't do this. 391 00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:22,240 Okay, come on, come on. Man up. You're amazing. 392 00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:24,207 He's gonna love you. 393 00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:32,642 # Vum vum vum vum # 394 00:22:34,186 --> 00:22:38,919 - # Vum vum vum vum # - # Oh # 395 00:22:41,793 --> 00:22:43,954 - ## - # Baby girl, where you at? # 396 00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,929 # Got no strings Got men attached # 397 00:22:45,997 --> 00:22:49,125 # Can't stop that feelin' for long, no # 398 00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:50,634 # Mmm # 399 00:22:50,702 --> 00:22:53,102 # You makin' dogs wanna beg # 400 00:22:53,171 --> 00:22:54,763 # Breaking them off your fancy legs # 401 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,833 # But they make you feel right at home, now # 402 00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:00,309 # Oh # 403 00:23:00,345 --> 00:23:04,748 # See all these illusions just take us too long # 404 00:23:04,816 --> 00:23:08,013 # And I want it bad # 405 00:23:08,086 --> 00:23:11,715 # Because you walk pretty Because you talk pretty 'Cause you make me sick # 406 00:23:11,790 --> 00:23:15,954 # And I'm not leavin' till you're leavin' # 407 00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:20,123 # Oh, I swear there's something when she's pumpin' Asking for a raise # 408 00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:22,689 # Well, does she want me to carry her home now? # 409 00:23:22,768 --> 00:23:25,259 # So does she want me to buy her things? # 410 00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:27,168 # On my house On my job # 411 00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:31,699 # On my loot, shoes, my shirt, my crew, my mind, my father's last name # 412 00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:33,711 - # When I get you alone # - # Alone # 413 00:23:33,779 --> 00:23:35,872 - # When I get you you'll know, babe # - # Know # 414 00:23:35,947 --> 00:23:38,438 - # When I get you alone # - # Alone # 415 00:23:38,517 --> 00:23:40,610 # When I get you alone # 416 00:23:43,221 --> 00:23:44,711 # Oh, come on # 417 00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:48,882 # Yeah, yeah # 418 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:50,757 # Baby girl, you the shh # 419 00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:53,161 # That makes you my equivalent # 420 00:23:53,231 --> 00:23:56,200 # Well, you can keep your toys in the drawer tonight # 421 00:23:56,268 --> 00:23:59,533 # All right All my dogs talkin' fast # 422 00:23:59,638 --> 00:24:01,833 # Ain't you got some photographs? # 423 00:24:01,873 --> 00:24:04,933 # 'Cause you shook that room like a star, now # 424 00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,410 # Yes, you did Yes, you did # 425 00:24:07,479 --> 00:24:11,813 # All these intrusions just take us too long # 426 00:24:11,883 --> 00:24:14,716 # And I want you so bad # 427 00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:18,347 # Because you walk city Because you talk city 'Cause you make me sick # 428 00:24:18,423 --> 00:24:22,883 # And I'm not leavin' till you're leavin' # 429 00:24:22,961 --> 00:24:27,261 # So I pray to something she ain't bluffin' rubbin' up on me # 430 00:24:27,332 --> 00:24:29,197 # Well, does she want me to make a vow? Check it # 431 00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:31,394 # Well, does she want me to make it now? # 432 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:33,734 # On my house On my job # 433 00:24:33,805 --> 00:24:38,606 # On my loot, shoes, my voice, my crew, my mind, my father's last name # 434 00:24:38,677 --> 00:24:40,474 - # When I get you alone # - # Alone # 435 00:24:40,545 --> 00:24:42,945 - # When I get you you'll know, babe # - # Know # 436 00:24:43,014 --> 00:24:45,107 - # When I get you alone # - # Alone # 437 00:24:45,183 --> 00:24:47,674 # When I get you alone # 438 00:24:47,752 --> 00:24:55,420 # Oh, when I get you alone ## 439 00:24:58,263 --> 00:25:00,390 Was it too much? 440 00:25:02,334 --> 00:25:03,926 Yeah, it was too much. 441 00:25:07,439 --> 00:25:09,202 Jeremiah. Hey. 442 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:12,772 - What the hell were you doing? - What? 443 00:25:12,844 --> 00:25:14,471 I just got fired. 444 00:25:14,546 --> 00:25:18,710 You can't just bust a groove in the middle of somebody else's workplace. 445 00:25:18,783 --> 00:25:20,978 - But they loved it. - Well, my boss didn't. 446 00:25:22,020 --> 00:25:25,114 Neither did I. No one here knows I'm gay. 447 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:28,591 Can I be honest? Just with the hair, I think they do. 448 00:25:28,660 --> 00:25:31,458 Blaine, let's just be clear here. 449 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:34,465 You and I got coffee twice. We're not dating. 450 00:25:34,533 --> 00:25:38,560 If we were, I'd get arrested, 'cause you're underage. 451 00:25:48,413 --> 00:25:52,110 Oh, yeah. That's my ear. I love it. I like it. 452 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:56,683 Oh, gross. 453 00:25:56,755 --> 00:25:58,245 How is this possible? 454 00:25:58,323 --> 00:26:00,154 I'm the hottest piece of action at this school... 455 00:26:00,258 --> 00:26:03,056 and here I am on Valentine's, single. 456 00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:06,063 - Whatever. - I'll just marry an NFL player. 457 00:26:06,131 --> 00:26:07,621 They're super reliable. 458 00:26:12,103 --> 00:26:14,594 Walt, that's... weird. 459 00:26:14,673 --> 00:26:17,039 Quinn's wearing her queen bitch smirk... 460 00:26:17,108 --> 00:26:22,171 and Finn only wears that gassy infant look when he feels guilty about something. 461 00:26:22,247 --> 00:26:26,377 Holy, sweet hell! They're fooling around! 462 00:26:26,451 --> 00:26:29,443 I know what cheating looks like. I do it all the tlme. 463 00:26:30,021 --> 00:26:31,249 Huh. 464 00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:36,351 Well, I think it's time to do what Santana does best. 465 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:37,952 Revenge. 466 00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:41,430 I've always loved volunteering at the local hospital. 467 00:26:41,499 --> 00:26:44,366 And not just because of the sexy candy striper outfit. 468 00:26:44,436 --> 00:26:47,735 Giving back is so important. 469 00:26:47,806 --> 00:26:51,071 Excuse me. Are there any sick students I can help you tend to? 470 00:26:51,142 --> 00:26:55,977 Wes Fahey's down with mono, and he's waiting for his mom to pick him up. 471 00:26:56,047 --> 00:26:57,844 But you shouldn't go in there. He's highly contagious. 472 00:26:57,916 --> 00:27:01,977 Please. I've had mono so many times, it turned into stereo. 473 00:27:05,957 --> 00:27:06,981 Hi. 474 00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,285 So I'm gonna need to borrow your germs. 475 00:27:21,072 --> 00:27:22,596 Thanks. 476 00:27:27,012 --> 00:27:28,912 Mmm. Whoa. 477 00:27:28,980 --> 00:27:31,278 - Whoa. - Sorry about that. I couldn't help myself. 478 00:27:31,349 --> 00:27:34,375 If I have anything, I hope it's not contagious. 479 00:27:34,452 --> 00:27:36,443 Wh-What? 480 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:42,360 Hi. 481 00:27:42,427 --> 00:27:44,918 What is this place? 482 00:27:44,996 --> 00:27:46,691 It's a library. 483 00:27:48,033 --> 00:27:49,523 Haven't you been in here before? 484 00:27:50,168 --> 00:27:51,658 No? Okay. 485 00:27:51,736 --> 00:27:53,931 I don't understand. You said you wanna formally ask me out... 486 00:27:54,005 --> 00:27:57,065 but I see no envelope of cash, no muffin basket. 487 00:27:57,142 --> 00:27:59,975 - I sang to you. - An offensive song. 488 00:28:01,513 --> 00:28:04,380 I don't think you're ready for this jelly. 489 00:28:04,449 --> 00:28:06,940 Wait. I mean, let's be honest here. 490 00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:10,215 You look... the way you look... 491 00:28:10,288 --> 00:28:12,051 and I'm embracing that. 492 00:28:12,123 --> 00:28:13,784 I mean, it turns me on, babe. 493 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:15,826 I look like America looks. 494 00:28:15,894 --> 00:28:19,728 And like America, I need more than just a song to get my juices flowin'. 495 00:28:25,637 --> 00:28:29,266 Lauren Zizes, will you go to Breadstix with me tomorrow night? 496 00:28:29,340 --> 00:28:31,399 Tomorrow's not Valentine's Day. 497 00:28:31,476 --> 00:28:33,444 Tomorrow's the pre-date. 498 00:28:33,511 --> 00:28:36,969 'Cause our mouths are gonna be too busy mackin' out on Valentine's Day to eat anything. 499 00:28:39,517 --> 00:28:43,180 I like your style, Puckerman. I dine at 8:00. 500 00:28:45,690 --> 00:28:48,284 Now get outta here before I change my mind. 501 00:28:48,359 --> 00:28:50,418 Good-bye. 502 00:28:52,430 --> 00:28:54,762 Sorry, I was at church. 503 00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:57,324 - Praying for the strength to come? - Not to. 504 00:29:02,340 --> 00:29:04,706 You realize this is making me a cheater. 505 00:29:05,944 --> 00:29:08,469 The thing that hurt you so badly... 506 00:29:08,546 --> 00:29:10,980 that it made you break up with me... 507 00:29:11,049 --> 00:29:12,812 and Rachel. 508 00:29:16,020 --> 00:29:18,989 You know why it hurt so bad when you guys cheated on me? 509 00:29:19,057 --> 00:29:20,957 - 'Cause it meant you didn't love me. - That's not true. 510 00:29:21,025 --> 00:29:24,517 No, at least not enough to not wanna hurt me. That's the thing about cheating. 511 00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:27,656 When you really love someone, you do anything to keep them safe. 512 00:29:27,732 --> 00:29:29,996 - I love Sam. - No, you don't. 513 00:29:30,068 --> 00:29:31,933 Or else you wouldn't have come here. 514 00:29:32,003 --> 00:29:34,699 Fine. I think I love him. 515 00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:37,071 No matter what happens between us... 516 00:29:37,142 --> 00:29:39,872 I'm not gonna break up with Sam until I know for sure one way or another. 517 00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:41,241 Okay. 518 00:29:41,312 --> 00:29:43,576 Don't you think you can love two people at one time? 519 00:29:43,648 --> 00:29:47,709 Not totally. You have to choose eventually. 520 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:49,549 Not yet. 521 00:29:57,061 --> 00:30:01,828 Ugh. Don't they have anything here that isn't covered with stupid little hearts? 522 00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:05,597 - Gross. - Well, you've certainly changed your tune. 523 00:30:05,670 --> 00:30:09,197 I don't think I've ever made that big a fool of myself... 524 00:30:09,274 --> 00:30:13,734 which is really saying something, because I've performed at theme parks. 525 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:17,612 I just- I can't believe I made it all up in my head. 526 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:21,213 Okay, can I ask you something? 527 00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:25,313 Because we've always been completely honest with each other. 528 00:30:25,390 --> 00:30:27,324 You and I- we hang out. 529 00:30:27,392 --> 00:30:31,453 We sing flirty duets together, you know my coffee order. 530 00:30:31,529 --> 00:30:34,020 Was I supposed to think that that was nothing? 531 00:30:34,098 --> 00:30:36,032 What do you mean? 532 00:30:37,969 --> 00:30:43,999 I thought the guy that you wanted to ask out on Valentine's Day... was me. 533 00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:50,880 Wow. 534 00:30:52,984 --> 00:30:54,918 I really am clueless. 535 00:30:57,388 --> 00:30:59,049 Look, Kurt. 536 00:31:00,892 --> 00:31:03,793 I don't know what I'm doing. 537 00:31:03,862 --> 00:31:07,525 I pretend like I do, and I know how to act it out in song... 538 00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:10,432 but the truth is... 539 00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:15,603 I've never really been anyone's boyfriend. 540 00:31:17,508 --> 00:31:18,998 Me neither. 541 00:31:21,279 --> 00:31:23,907 Let me be really clear about something. 542 00:31:23,982 --> 00:31:26,849 I really, really care about you... 543 00:31:26,918 --> 00:31:30,285 but as you and about 20 mortified shoppers saw... 544 00:31:30,355 --> 00:31:32,516 I'm not very good at romance. 545 00:31:34,993 --> 00:31:37,120 I don't wanna screw this up. 546 00:31:38,963 --> 00:31:42,694 So it's just like When Harry Met Sally, but I get to play Meg Ryan. 547 00:31:42,767 --> 00:31:44,132 Deal. 548 00:31:46,871 --> 00:31:50,170 Don't they, uh, get together in the end? 549 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:53,301 Could I get a nonfat mocha and a medium drip for my friend, Billy Crystal? 550 00:31:53,378 --> 00:31:56,438 Ah, you know my coffee order. 551 00:31:56,514 --> 00:32:00,041 You know what? I think I got something for us to do on Valentine's Day. 552 00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:08,953 Thanks for doin' this. 553 00:32:09,027 --> 00:32:11,120 - It really takes the sting off. - It's cool. 554 00:32:11,195 --> 00:32:14,961 - My dad's a drug addict, so losers make me horny. - I'm not a loser. 555 00:32:15,033 --> 00:32:17,160 This is the first time I've ever been stood up. 556 00:32:17,235 --> 00:32:19,465 Must be some chick to blow you off. 557 00:32:20,805 --> 00:32:23,774 Rochelle, I've been covering your section for 15 minutes. 558 00:32:23,841 --> 00:32:26,674 Your break's over, and your husband called. 559 00:32:31,049 --> 00:32:32,914 Well, I did it. 560 00:32:32,984 --> 00:32:36,750 I kissed every girl in the school and raised $324 for the Glee Club. 561 00:32:38,723 --> 00:32:42,420 All right, Finn, thanks. That'll pay for half a ticket to nationals, so... 562 00:32:42,493 --> 00:32:44,757 still a long way to go. 563 00:32:44,829 --> 00:32:46,694 You all right? Okay. 564 00:32:46,764 --> 00:32:49,028 Now I believe it's time to hear... 565 00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:52,263 what the world's greatest love song means to Miss Tina Cohen-Chang. 566 00:32:52,337 --> 00:32:54,498 - Come on up. - Whoo! 567 00:32:54,572 --> 00:32:56,540 Is anyone else hot? It's really stuffy in here. 568 00:32:56,607 --> 00:32:59,075 This is for you, Mike. Happy Valentine's Day. 569 00:33:04,315 --> 00:33:09,378 # My funny valentine # 570 00:33:10,788 --> 00:33:15,555 # Sweet, comic valentine # 571 00:33:16,627 --> 00:33:23,191 # You make me smile with my heart # 572 00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:32,272 # Your looks are laughable # 573 00:33:34,212 --> 00:33:38,444 # Unphotographable # 574 00:33:42,220 --> 00:33:46,054 # Yet you're my favorite work of art # 575 00:33:50,828 --> 00:33:53,763 # Is your figure less than Greek? # 576 00:33:56,868 --> 00:33:59,234 # Is your mouth a little weak? # 577 00:34:00,972 --> 00:34:03,372 # When you open-# 578 00:34:04,976 --> 00:34:08,707 # Are you smart? # 579 00:34:08,780 --> 00:34:11,214 # Stay-# Oh, God. 580 00:34:11,282 --> 00:34:14,342 # Valentine # 581 00:34:14,419 --> 00:34:15,977 # Stay # 582 00:34:18,256 --> 00:34:23,216 # Every day is Valentine's Day when I'm with you ## 583 00:34:23,294 --> 00:34:24,529 - I'm so overcome with love. - Okay, wow. That was... powerful. 584 00:34:24,529 --> 00:34:26,588 - I'm so overcome with love. - Okay, wow. That was... powerful. 585 00:34:26,664 --> 00:34:29,030 - I love you, Mike Chang. - Almost too powerful. 586 00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:32,536 Mr. Schue, can I be excused? I don't feel well. 587 00:34:32,603 --> 00:34:35,128 Me either. I feel sick. 588 00:34:35,206 --> 00:34:36,696 Let me guess. 589 00:34:36,774 --> 00:34:39,140 You have a sore throat, your glands are swollen, and you're feverish. 590 00:34:40,344 --> 00:34:42,938 Yeah. Yeah, which is why I need to go to the nurse. 591 00:34:43,014 --> 00:34:45,414 It sounds like you have mono. 592 00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:47,280 Otherwise known as "the kissing disease." 593 00:34:47,351 --> 00:34:50,946 But you know what really helps spread it? A little tongue. 594 00:34:51,022 --> 00:34:55,083 Which is weird, because it sounds like Quinn here has it too. 595 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:57,320 I was there when they kissed. It was just a peck. 596 00:34:57,395 --> 00:35:01,331 So how about we stop talking about tonguing, and Finn and I go to the nurse? 597 00:35:01,432 --> 00:35:04,765 You know what? I think that is a capital idea. 598 00:35:08,940 --> 00:35:11,431 I've cheated twice in my life. 599 00:35:11,509 --> 00:35:13,704 The first time, I got pregnant. 600 00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:17,043 The second time, I got mono. 601 00:35:17,115 --> 00:35:20,346 I think the universe is trying to tell me something. 602 00:35:20,418 --> 00:35:25,048 Maybe. But I think Sam likes you enough to believe whatever story you told him. 603 00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:27,250 Santana is such a bitch. 604 00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:30,852 It looks like mono to me. I called your mothers. 605 00:35:30,928 --> 00:35:34,056 You can hang here till they pick you up, but no kissing. 606 00:35:39,170 --> 00:35:41,001 I'm not done with us yet. 607 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:45,709 You have to stop. 608 00:35:45,776 --> 00:35:50,804 Nothing can happen between us until I figure out what's going on with me and Sam... 609 00:35:50,882 --> 00:35:53,180 and you figure out what's going on with you and Rachel. 610 00:35:53,251 --> 00:35:57,051 But... nothing's... 611 00:35:57,121 --> 00:35:58,713 Nothing's going on with me and Rachel. 612 00:35:58,823 --> 00:36:03,954 All I know is that when I don't catch you staring at me... 613 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:05,792 you're staring at her. 614 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:14,699 - Hello, Lauren. - What's with the Chilly Willy, Puckerman? 615 00:36:15,806 --> 00:36:17,433 Honestly! 616 00:36:17,508 --> 00:36:19,908 I'm not used to getting stood up. 617 00:36:19,977 --> 00:36:22,537 Last night? Breadstix? 618 00:36:22,613 --> 00:36:24,638 Oh, we had a date, didn't we? 619 00:36:24,715 --> 00:36:26,910 Look, I get it. 620 00:36:26,984 --> 00:36:29,475 You've been hurt by guys before, but I'm telling you, I'm not like that. 621 00:36:29,554 --> 00:36:31,454 First of all, you got a girl pregnant last year... 622 00:36:31,522 --> 00:36:34,218 so, uh, yeah, you are. 623 00:36:34,292 --> 00:36:37,455 And "B": What makes you assume guys treat me badly? I can take care of myself. 624 00:36:37,528 --> 00:36:39,393 That's what I like about you. 625 00:36:39,463 --> 00:36:42,227 I'm not into you because you... have curves. 626 00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:45,792 I- What I like is that you're a girl who's an even bigger badass than me. 627 00:36:47,605 --> 00:36:50,369 Can I be honest with you? I like you. 628 00:36:50,441 --> 00:36:52,068 I used to think you were smokin'... 629 00:36:52,143 --> 00:36:54,941 but a lot of that had to do with the fact that I thought you were mixed race... 630 00:36:55,012 --> 00:36:57,105 and that never fails to get me goin'. 631 00:36:57,181 --> 00:37:00,309 Here's the thing, Puckerman. I'm not just lookin' for somebody to fool around with... 632 00:37:00,418 --> 00:37:03,353 so if you're really into me, you gotta take it slow. 633 00:37:04,655 --> 00:37:06,316 I suppose I could give that a shot. 634 00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,449 Then you're on for Valentine's Day. 635 00:37:08,526 --> 00:37:10,790 As friends. 636 00:37:17,101 --> 00:37:20,434 - Where's Quinn? - Uh. 637 00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:23,940 Her mom picked her up a few hours ago. 638 00:37:24,008 --> 00:37:26,340 Quinn really is very pretty. 639 00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:30,809 You don't have to do that, you know. 640 00:37:30,881 --> 00:37:32,974 No. I would do it for anyone. 641 00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:36,352 She's prettier than me. 642 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:40,720 Would you stop? You're beautiful. 643 00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,789 I know she is. 644 00:37:44,862 --> 00:37:47,797 It meant so much to me that you chose me over her. 645 00:37:47,865 --> 00:37:50,891 Girls like me don't get chosen over girls like her very much. 646 00:37:52,136 --> 00:37:56,038 Did you kiss her? Like Santana said? 647 00:37:56,107 --> 00:37:59,167 Yeah, yeah. But I- I just needed to get it out of my system. 648 00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:01,575 So what did it feel like... 649 00:38:02,647 --> 00:38:04,137 when you kissed her? 650 00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:07,714 Fireworks. 651 00:38:07,785 --> 00:38:10,310 Did you see fireworks when you kissed me? 652 00:38:18,429 --> 00:38:20,897 - Rachel, wait. - No. 653 00:38:20,965 --> 00:38:22,899 It's good. Thank you. 654 00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:26,698 Look, you've given me the strength to move on. 655 00:38:26,771 --> 00:38:29,740 I know now that there's... nothing here for me anymore. 656 00:38:29,807 --> 00:38:31,570 That's not the truth. 657 00:38:32,276 --> 00:38:33,766 I still... 658 00:38:33,844 --> 00:38:36,574 I'm just- I'm so confused in my head right now. 659 00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:38,740 No, it's okay. Look, I understand. 660 00:38:38,816 --> 00:38:42,377 And now I'm free to pursue my dreams without anything holding me back. 661 00:38:42,586 --> 00:38:47,387 And you've actually inspired my song selection for this week's love song assignment. 662 00:38:48,693 --> 00:38:49,751 Feel better, Finn. 663 00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:53,788 ## 664 00:38:58,135 --> 00:39:02,037 # Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? # 665 00:39:02,106 --> 00:39:03,733 # Drifting through the wind # 666 00:39:03,808 --> 00:39:05,605 # Wanting to start again # 667 00:39:05,676 --> 00:39:09,772 # Do you ever feel Feel so paper-thin? # 668 00:39:09,847 --> 00:39:13,374 # Like a house of cards one blow from caving in # 669 00:39:13,451 --> 00:39:17,251 # Do you ever feel already buried deep? # 670 00:39:17,321 --> 00:39:21,587 # Six-feet-under screams but no one seems to hear a thing # 671 00:39:21,659 --> 00:39:25,095 # Do you know that there's still a chance for you? # 672 00:39:25,162 --> 00:39:27,187 # 'Cause there's a spark in you # 673 00:39:27,264 --> 00:39:31,997 # You just gotta ignite the light # 674 00:39:32,069 --> 00:39:35,561 # And let it shine # 675 00:39:35,639 --> 00:39:39,575 # Just own the night # 676 00:39:39,643 --> 00:39:43,010 # Like the Fourth of July # 677 00:39:43,080 --> 00:39:47,073 # 'Cause, baby, you're a firework # 678 00:39:47,151 --> 00:39:50,848 # Come on, show 'em what you're worth # 679 00:39:50,921 --> 00:39:54,379 # Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" # 680 00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:58,155 # As you shoot across the sky-y-y # 681 00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:02,529 # Baby, you're a firework # 682 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,331 # Come on Let your colors burst # 683 00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:09,635 # Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" # 684 00:40:09,707 --> 00:40:13,370 # You're gonna leave 'em goin', "Oh, oh, oh" # 685 00:40:14,278 --> 00:40:17,873 # Baby, you're a firework # 686 00:40:17,948 --> 00:40:22,009 # Come on Let your colors burst # 687 00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:25,055 # Make 'em go, "Oh, oh, oh" # 688 00:40:25,122 --> 00:40:30,287 # You're gonna leave 'em goin', "Oh, oh, oh" # 689 00:40:30,361 --> 00:40:33,023 # Boom, boom, boom # 690 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:37,693 # Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon # 691 00:40:37,768 --> 00:40:40,760 # Boom, boom, boom # 692 00:40:40,838 --> 00:40:44,865 # Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon ## 693 00:40:52,750 --> 00:40:54,274 Mind if we join you? 694 00:40:54,351 --> 00:40:57,411 I would love that. 695 00:40:57,488 --> 00:41:01,424 Testing, one, two, three. Testing, one, two, three. 696 00:41:01,525 --> 00:41:04,858 All right. So happy Valentine's Day, everybody. 697 00:41:04,895 --> 00:41:07,659 For those of you Breadstix patrons who don't know who I am... 698 00:41:07,731 --> 00:41:12,725 I am Kurt Hummel, and welcome to my first ever Lonely Hearts Club dinner. 699 00:41:12,803 --> 00:41:14,703 Whether you are single with hope... 700 00:41:14,772 --> 00:41:18,833 or madly in love and are here because I forced you to come out and support me... 701 00:41:18,909 --> 00:41:21,605 sit back and enjoy. 702 00:41:21,679 --> 00:41:25,012 And to all the singles out there, this is our year. 703 00:41:26,517 --> 00:41:30,385 - # How can I tell you # - # I can't explain # 704 00:41:30,454 --> 00:41:33,753 - # About my loved one? # - # The feeling's plain to me Say, can't you see? # 705 00:41:33,824 --> 00:41:39,421 - # How can I tell you # - # Ah, he gave me more He gave it all to me # 706 00:41:39,497 --> 00:41:41,829 - # About my loved one? # - # Say, can't you see? # 707 00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:47,531 # You'd think that people would have had enough of silly love songs # 708 00:41:47,605 --> 00:41:49,266 ## 709 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:53,606 # But I look around me and I see it isn't so # 710 00:41:54,612 --> 00:41:56,477 # Oh, no # 711 00:41:56,547 --> 00:42:02,281 # Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs # 712 00:42:04,021 --> 00:42:07,650 # And what's wrong with that? # 713 00:42:08,392 --> 00:42:11,793 # I'd like to know # 714 00:42:11,862 --> 00:42:18,563 # 'Cause here I go again # 715 00:42:20,070 --> 00:42:26,031 # I love you # 716 00:42:27,411 --> 00:42:34,317 # I love you # 717 00:42:35,486 --> 00:42:37,647 # Love doesn't come in a minute # 718 00:42:37,721 --> 00:42:39,484 # Doesn't come in a minute # 719 00:42:39,557 --> 00:42:43,357 - # Sometimes it doesn't come at all # - # Doesn't come at all # 720 00:42:43,427 --> 00:42:47,124 - # I only know that when I'm in it # - # Only know when I'm in it # 721 00:42:47,197 --> 00:42:49,062 - # It isn't silly # - # At all # 722 00:42:49,133 --> 00:42:51,033 - # No, it isn't silly # - # At all # 723 00:42:51,101 --> 00:42:55,868 # Love isn't silly at all # 724 00:42:55,940 --> 00:42:57,601 # Not at all # 725 00:42:57,675 --> 00:43:01,042 ## 726 00:43:04,214 --> 00:43:09,811 # I love you # 727 00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:17,528 # I love you # 728 00:43:19,630 --> 00:43:22,656 - # I can't explain # - # How can I tell you # 729 00:43:22,733 --> 00:43:26,999 - # The feeling's plain to me Say, can't you see? # - # About my loved one? # 730 00:43:27,071 --> 00:43:32,737 - # Ah, she gave me more She gave it all to me # - # How can I tell you # 731 00:43:32,810 --> 00:43:35,176 - # Now, can't you see? # - # About my loved one? # 732 00:43:35,245 --> 00:43:37,236 ## 733 00:43:40,718 --> 00:43:42,252 ## 734 00:43:42,252 --> 00:43:44,345 ## 735 00:43:53,063 --> 00:43:56,931 ## 736 00:43:57,001 --> 00:44:01,438 ## 737 00:44:19,023 --> 00:44:20,490 ## 738 00:44:27,931 --> 00:44:28,920 English - US - SDH