1
00:00:02,585 --> 00:00:04,712
Yeah, I ordered the heart-shaped cake...

2
00:00:04,888 --> 00:00:07,948
...with "Happy Valentine's Day, Molly"
spelled out in Red Hots.

3
00:00:08,124 --> 00:00:09,489
When will that be ready?

4
00:00:09,659 --> 00:00:12,389
Perfect. I'll be by later to pick that up.

5
00:00:12,562 --> 00:00:15,827
You know, normally, they do the wording
with little icing flowerets...

6
00:00:16,132 --> 00:00:19,465
... but my lady likey the Red Hots.

7
00:00:19,636 --> 00:00:23,629
Oh, that's right.
It's Mikey that likey the Mike and lkeys.

8
00:00:23,807 --> 00:00:27,607
I'm taking her to her favorite restaurant,
a carriage ride down Michigan Avenue...

9
00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:30,337
...then back to her place
for dessert and champagne.

10
00:00:30,513 --> 00:00:33,073
Carriage ride?
With that cold wind blowing off the lake?

11
00:00:33,450 --> 00:00:36,647
Man, you ain't gonna see your testicles
till late March, early April.

12
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:40,787
The nip in the air promotes snuggling.

13
00:00:40,957 --> 00:00:44,518
Plus, I'm bringing thermal underwear
and ski masks.

14
00:00:44,694 --> 00:00:46,252
Mm, sounds sexy.

15
00:00:46,429 --> 00:00:49,193
Like two cat burglars
in the worst getaway vehicle ever.

16
00:00:50,066 --> 00:00:51,533
I thought you'd be happy for me.

17
00:00:51,701 --> 00:00:55,432
I finally got a girlfriend I can do something
special with on Valentine's Day.

18
00:00:55,605 --> 00:00:57,436
You're saying last year wasn't special?

19
00:00:57,607 --> 00:01:00,132
Drinking beer with you
at that offtrack betting place?

20
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:03,302
It was one of the most depressing nights
of my life.

21
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,345
That's because none of your dogs
came in.

22
00:01:05,515 --> 00:01:08,279
You gotta look at the animal's pedigree,
study its behavior.

23
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:11,614
You don't just throw 10 bucks at a dog
because his name is Scooby-Don't.

24
00:01:11,788 --> 00:01:14,348
Ha, ha. Scooby-Don't.

25
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:18,256
Don't worry about me.
I got plans of my own tomorrow night.

26
00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:20,658
-You got a date?
-Something better than a date.

27
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,229
I got a strategy.

28
00:01:22,398 --> 00:01:25,026
Oh, this isn't
the walking-into-the-ladies'-room...

29
00:01:25,201 --> 00:01:28,466
-... pretending-to-be-blind thing again, is it?
-That was an accident.

30
00:01:28,638 --> 00:01:31,368
One door had picture of palm tree,
other had two coconuts.

31
00:01:31,541 --> 00:01:33,907
And we both know two coconuts
can go either way.

32
00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:38,547
So, uh, what kind of strategy
are you talking about?

33
00:01:38,715 --> 00:01:41,684
Well, women have very high expectations
on Valentine's Day.

34
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:43,079
-True?
-That's true.

35
00:01:43,253 --> 00:01:46,484
That puts pressure on the man,
which usually results in an argument...

36
00:01:46,656 --> 00:01:49,420
-...and/or an ugly breakup.
-Oh, no.

37
00:01:49,592 --> 00:01:51,856
So about 10:30,
the streets are gonna be lined...

38
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:54,895
...with brokenhearted bitches
looking for a ride home.

39
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:58,225
Let me understand this.

40
00:01:58,401 --> 00:02:01,962
You're gonna cruise around the city
looking for sad, stranded women?

41
00:02:03,907 --> 00:02:05,499
You are ghoulish.

44
00:02:30,099 --> 00:02:31,225
Now, who are they from?

45
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,165
Gary,
the Channel 9 weekend weatherman.

46
00:02:34,838 --> 00:02:36,305
The guy with the bad rug?

47
00:02:36,773 --> 00:02:39,936
You know,
he even wears that thing in bed.

48
00:02:40,243 --> 00:02:43,804
I woke up one morning
and it was stuck to my crotch.

49
00:02:45,715 --> 00:02:47,683
Kind of liked it.

50
00:02:48,751 --> 00:02:50,582
It was very retro.

51
00:02:51,621 --> 00:02:53,953
MOLLY: Hey.
-Hey, sweetie, how was your day?

52
00:02:54,123 --> 00:02:56,114
They served chili
in the school cafeteria...

53
00:02:56,292 --> 00:02:58,283
...so my afternoon
was one long debate...

54
00:02:58,461 --> 00:03:00,656
...about who smelt it and who dealt it.

55
00:03:02,699 --> 00:03:06,328
-Another package for Miss Victoria Flynn.
-Who's it from?

56
00:03:06,502 --> 00:03:11,439
Uh, no return address. Just a picture
of a smiley face smoking a joint.

57
00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:13,472
You know what they say:

58
00:03:13,643 --> 00:03:17,010
"Candy is dandy, but yay weed."

59
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:20,977
Oh, look at this.
Mike made me a valentine.

60
00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:23,948
"Through wind or sleet or rain or shine...

61
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,884
...I will always be your valentine."

62
00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:30,592
As soon as I heard "shine,"
I knew exactly where he was headed.

63
00:03:31,027 --> 00:03:33,359
Aw, look.
He made it out of construction paper...

64
00:03:33,529 --> 00:03:36,054
...and cut out little letters
and glued them on.

65
00:03:36,232 --> 00:03:38,257
Looks like a ransom note, doesn't it?

66
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,539
If he didn't sign it, I'd be pretty spooked.

67
00:03:44,707 --> 00:03:47,699
Isn't that sweet?
He wants tomorrow to be perfect.

68
00:03:47,877 --> 00:03:49,276
Vince is doing the same thing.

69
00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:52,812
He booked us a suite
at the Sybaris adult motel.

70
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:56,509
-Ugh, really?
-From 6:30 to midnight.

71
00:03:56,886 --> 00:04:01,016
He's out right now buying extra chlorine
for the Jacuzzi.

72
00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:03,816
Mike and I are going to dinner...

73
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:07,554
...and then we're taking a nice romantic
carriage ride down Michigan Avenue.

74
00:04:07,730 --> 00:04:09,493
Oh, Vince doesn't like carriage rides.

75
00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:13,329
He says a visible horse anus
is a boner killer.

76
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,263
Sure.

77
00:04:16,773 --> 00:04:21,472
Gary the weatherman has the same problem
with midgets and schnauzers.

78
00:04:23,413 --> 00:04:27,315
That's why we can't ever do it
at the circus or the dog park.

79
00:04:29,819 --> 00:04:31,377
Sure.

80
00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:36,655
Well, I guess the upside,
we all have dates on Valentine's Day.

81
00:04:36,826 --> 00:04:39,021
Oh, yeah.
I mean, these are high-class problems.

82
00:04:41,731 --> 00:04:45,030
This is her favorite bakery.
She has no idea that I know about it.

83
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,429
How did you find out?

84
00:04:46,602 --> 00:04:49,435
We drove by it once, she said,
"That's my favorite bakery."

85
00:04:50,807 --> 00:04:54,038
Look at you listening to a woman.
You gonna make detective yet.

86
00:04:55,979 --> 00:04:57,844
Gentlemen, how can I help you?

87
00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:00,744
Yes, I'm here to pick up a cake
that I special ordered...

88
00:05:00,917 --> 00:05:05,217
-...for my girlfriend for Valentine's Day.
-All right, I think everybody heard that.

89
00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:08,114
Your last name?

90
00:05:08,291 --> 00:05:09,451
Biggs. Two G's.

91
00:05:09,625 --> 00:05:11,354
-And he has a girlfriend.
KYLE: Ha, ha.

92
00:05:11,527 --> 00:05:12,551
I'll be right back.

93
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,822
Help yourself to a sample
of our maple bars.

94
00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:19,931
There was a time
when I would've walked in here...

95
00:05:20,103 --> 00:05:24,540
...with a gallon of milk and a credit card
and not stopped till I hit drywall.

96
00:05:25,575 --> 00:05:27,873
I'm proud.
You're showing willpower and restraint.

97
00:05:28,044 --> 00:05:33,607
Right? It's been a long time since we pulled
over a Little Debbie truck for expired tags.

98
00:05:34,484 --> 00:05:36,679
All right, Mr. Biggs with two G's.

99
00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:40,186
We have a chocolate cake
with vanilla buttercream frosting.

100
00:05:40,356 --> 00:05:43,052
Oh, that's gorgeous.
You, sir, are a pastry magician.

101
00:05:43,226 --> 00:05:44,557
Mm, I second that emotion.

102
00:05:44,727 --> 00:05:48,527
This is like a bear claw and
an angel food cake had a sweet, tasty baby.

103
00:05:48,698 --> 00:05:50,962
Ha, ha. Well, thank you.

104
00:05:51,134 --> 00:05:53,967
"Happy Valentine's Day, Molly."
It's perfect.

105
00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:58,005
Had to go to a gas station to buy the
Red Hots, but I think it came out pretty nice.

106
00:05:59,475 --> 00:06:02,171
Sounds like we might have enough left
to spell out Flynn.

107
00:06:02,345 --> 00:06:03,369
Ah.

108
00:06:03,546 --> 00:06:05,013
Well, wait a second.

109
00:06:05,181 --> 00:06:07,547
-This cake is for Molly Flynn?
-Uh-huh.

110
00:06:07,717 --> 00:06:10,686
Oh, of course. You're Mike the cop.

111
00:06:10,853 --> 00:06:12,582
I can't believe this. I'm Kyle.

112
00:06:13,856 --> 00:06:15,756
-Kyle.
-Yeah.

113
00:06:16,592 --> 00:06:18,924
Oh, Kyle the baker.

114
00:06:22,465 --> 00:06:24,126
This is Carl, the other cop.

115
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:25,597
-Nice to meet you.
-You too.

116
00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:27,668
I couldn't be happier
for you and Molly.

117
00:06:27,837 --> 00:06:30,601
I consider her one of the best things
to ever happen to me.

118
00:06:30,773 --> 00:06:34,766
-Though it didn't work out between us.
-Right.

119
00:06:34,944 --> 00:06:39,278
Oh, I'm sure Molly's already talked your ear
off about me backing out of our wedding.

120
00:06:39,449 --> 00:06:40,780
-Wedding?
-Shut up, Carl.

121
00:06:40,950 --> 00:06:44,511
-Let the man tell his story.
-Water under the bridge.

122
00:06:44,687 --> 00:06:46,814
Important thing is
you two found each other.

123
00:06:47,557 --> 00:06:49,149
Uh-huh.

124
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:53,022
-What do I owe you for the cake?
-You know what? It's on me.

125
00:06:53,196 --> 00:06:56,427
Consider it my Valentine's present
to you and Molly.

126
00:06:56,899 --> 00:06:58,958
-Thank you, that's very generous.
-Yeah.

127
00:06:59,135 --> 00:07:01,763
Carry the cake,
my knees are starting to buckle.

128
00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:06,497
-Should we grab a couple of maple bars?
MlKE: Get in the car.

129
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,438
I'm such a chump.

130
00:07:09,612 --> 00:07:12,604
A big, dumb, trusting chump.

131
00:07:13,049 --> 00:07:15,449
Jesus, this is moist.

132
00:07:16,452 --> 00:07:18,750
What's the big deal
if she had a boyfriend before?

133
00:07:18,921 --> 00:07:21,082
Uh, not boyfriend. Fiance.

134
00:07:21,257 --> 00:07:22,383
Big difference.

135
00:07:22,558 --> 00:07:26,187
They made a promise,
they exchanged "l love you's."

136
00:07:26,596 --> 00:07:29,156
-I'm guessing they exchanged a lot more.
-Not helping.

137
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,557
God, this frosting just melts
in your mouth.

138
00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:34,202
That son of a bitch!

139
00:07:35,271 --> 00:07:38,331
I'm sure she has a good reason
for not telling you about that man.

140
00:07:38,508 --> 00:07:40,066
She's still in love with the guy.

141
00:07:40,243 --> 00:07:44,304
And I'm just the stupid rebound guy she
kills time with till they get back together.

142
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:46,880
You're jumping to conclusions
without knowing facts.

143
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:50,018
Right, fact, Molly had a secret fiance
she never told me about.

144
00:07:50,186 --> 00:07:51,949
Fact, he still has feelings for her.

145
00:07:52,121 --> 00:07:56,455
Fact, he called off the wedding,
so she still has feelings for him.

146
00:07:58,327 --> 00:08:00,795
He is ruggedly good-looking
and in terrific shape.

147
00:08:00,963 --> 00:08:03,295
Not helping!

148
00:08:05,635 --> 00:08:09,503
Listen, you don't wanna do this right now.
You're angry, you got cake on your nose.

149
00:08:09,672 --> 00:08:12,869
I think a man deserves to know the truth
about the woman he's dating.

150
00:08:13,042 --> 00:08:15,374
See, you and I differ.
I don't wanna know anything.

151
00:08:15,545 --> 00:08:18,343
I don't wanna know she did jail time,
has grandkids my age...

152
00:08:18,514 --> 00:08:20,744
...or used to be named
Jerome Wadlow lll.

153
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,682
-Go wait in the car.
-You're gonna regret this, man.

154
00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:25,946
I know what I'm doing.

155
00:08:26,122 --> 00:08:30,058
I'm just gonna talk to her calmly
and get this whole thing straightened out.

156
00:08:30,226 --> 00:08:31,523
Hey, Mike.

157
00:08:31,694 --> 00:08:33,457
Deceiver.

158
00:08:34,730 --> 00:08:36,755
-What?
-When were you gonna tell me, huh?

159
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,265
When was I gonna find out
about your little secret?

160
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,926
Come inside and tell me
what you're so upset about.

161
00:08:42,104 --> 00:08:43,833
Oh, you'd love for me to come inside.

162
00:08:44,006 --> 00:08:46,873
Maybe hang my coat up
in your closet full of skeletons.

163
00:08:48,044 --> 00:08:49,602
Is that cake in your ear?

164
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:52,012
Probably.

165
00:08:53,516 --> 00:08:56,781
From your favorite bakery.
I was gonna surprise you for Valentine's.

166
00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,285
But little did I know,
I'd be getting the surprise.

167
00:08:59,455 --> 00:09:03,858
You met Kyle. Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell
you about him, but it was a long time ago.

168
00:09:04,026 --> 00:09:07,154
You were gonna stand at an altar
and promise to be with him forever.

169
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:10,458
I can't even get you to join Costco
with me.

170
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:15,035
Well, I'm not gonna give up my Sam's Club
membership just to make you feel loved.

171
00:09:15,204 --> 00:09:19,436
And there it is. Done and done.
Happy Valentine's Day, Molly Flynn.

172
00:09:20,109 --> 00:09:22,543
Mike, get back in here
and let's talk about this.

173
00:09:22,712 --> 00:09:24,839
Whoa! Unh!

174
00:09:26,515 --> 00:09:28,983
-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

175
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,948
Nothing broken but my heart.

176
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,382
And your sidewalk.

177
00:09:32,555 --> 00:09:34,216
Shut up and start the car!

178
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:46,123
I was gonna give this to Molly
with a little heart-shaped chocolate.

179
00:09:46,302 --> 00:09:48,361
Take it. Too many memories.

180
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:51,431
Where's the chocolate?

181
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:55,974
Take the stupid flower and bring me
a tall stack of blueberry pancakes.

182
00:09:56,145 --> 00:09:58,613
Don't move.
You ate a whole freaking cake yesterday.

183
00:09:58,781 --> 00:10:02,376
-lt was sugar-free.
-lt was still 5 pounds of food.

184
00:10:03,486 --> 00:10:06,478
What difference does it make?
Did you see the way Kyle was built?

185
00:10:06,656 --> 00:10:09,784
You could see his abs
and he was wearing a smock.

186
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:14,026
-I can't compete with that.
-He was cut. Plus, he works in a bakery.

187
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,460
A man with a lot of self-control
and discipline.

188
00:10:16,632 --> 00:10:18,827
He was personable too.
Kind of a quiet dignity.

189
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:20,969
Why don't you both marry him?

190
00:10:21,671 --> 00:10:24,538
Hey, I know you're hurting,
but I do not appreciate that tone.

191
00:10:24,707 --> 00:10:27,699
Nor the implication
of our homosexuality.

192
00:10:28,377 --> 00:10:31,778
What if this is just the tip of the iceberg?
What if there's other stuff?

193
00:10:31,947 --> 00:10:34,211
-You told her about your past?
-Full disclosure.

194
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,941
I've been an open book.

195
00:10:36,118 --> 00:10:38,018
About that overweight-singles cruise?

196
00:10:38,187 --> 00:10:40,747
If memory serves,
you did very well on that love barge.

197
00:10:42,692 --> 00:10:45,627
I bet no one came knocking
when that boat was a-rocking.

198
00:10:51,701 --> 00:10:54,363
I'm just saying,
everybody has something in their past.

199
00:10:54,537 --> 00:10:56,505
-And you can't hold it against them.
-True.

200
00:10:56,672 --> 00:11:00,403
One day, a person could be a hired
assassin in the Senegalese Secret Service...

201
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:04,137
...the next day, he's being commanded
to fetch a fat cop his pancakes.

202
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:08,676
Thank you for the rose.

203
00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,352
MOLLY:
Mike, it's Molly.

204
00:11:15,524 --> 00:11:16,548
Again.

205
00:11:16,726 --> 00:11:19,854
Uh, look,
I understand that you're upset...

206
00:11:20,029 --> 00:11:22,497
...but let's not blow this thing
out of proportion.

207
00:11:22,665 --> 00:11:23,757
I love you.

208
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:28,097
So quit acting like a big baby
and call me back.

209
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:31,230
He's still not taking your calls, huh?

210
00:11:31,407 --> 00:11:34,342
I guess I'm spending
another Valentine's Day by myself.

211
00:11:34,510 --> 00:11:40,312
Although the janitor at school did offer up
a rather disturbing romantic scenario.

212
00:11:41,417 --> 00:11:43,647
Hey, listen, lamb chop.

213
00:11:43,819 --> 00:11:46,447
I know I'm not your real dad...

214
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:52,226
...but I don't understand why you just don't
tell Mikey your ex-fiance is a big fruit.

215
00:11:52,395 --> 00:11:54,556
Mom, you told him?

216
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:58,757
Vin and I discussed it, yeah, because
we don't keep secrets from each other.

217
00:11:58,934 --> 00:12:01,425
-Unlike some people.
-Oh, really?

218
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:07,804
I'm just saying, relationships
are built on a foundation of trust.

219
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:12,505
Of course, that foundation better be
rebarred into a bedrock of hot, nasty sex.

220
00:12:15,117 --> 00:12:17,915
Thank you for the fatherly advice, Vince.

221
00:12:18,087 --> 00:12:19,486
Hey, I've lived, I've loved.

222
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,885
And with that
comes a certain amount of wisdom.

223
00:12:22,057 --> 00:12:24,048
And crabs.

224
00:12:25,895 --> 00:12:28,830
All right, Vin, no more sharing.

225
00:12:30,032 --> 00:12:32,296
Believe it or not,
trying to explain to Mike...

226
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:36,268
...that I almost married a gay man
is a little humiliating for me.

227
00:12:36,439 --> 00:12:41,138
Sweetheart, you have nothing
to be embarrassed about.

228
00:12:41,310 --> 00:12:44,074
You met Kyle in college,
you liked each other.

229
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:46,077
He didn't even know he was gay yet.

230
00:12:46,449 --> 00:12:49,043
Just out of curiosity,
how'd you figure it out?

231
00:12:49,218 --> 00:12:52,016
You catch him trying on your panties
or did he just say:

232
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:54,952
"Boy, I wish you had a wiener."

233
00:12:59,728 --> 00:13:03,596
This right here
is why I don't like talking about it.

234
00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:07,725
Molly, you don't have anything
to be ashamed of.

235
00:13:07,903 --> 00:13:10,167
I was so desperate to have a boyfriend...

236
00:13:10,339 --> 00:13:13,331
...that I was willing to overlook
some pretty obvious clues.

237
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:18,503
I mean, Mom, he painted my toenails
while we watched Sex and the City.

238
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:25,419
Well, you'll explain all this to Mike
and you guys will be even closer.

239
00:13:25,588 --> 00:13:26,953
Amen to that.

240
00:13:27,122 --> 00:13:30,023
And by the way,
offering to paint a lady's toes...

241
00:13:30,192 --> 00:13:33,491
...doesn't necessarily make a guy
a swish.

242
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:36,995
Vince, FYl, "swish" is no longer
the politically correct term.

243
00:13:38,100 --> 00:13:40,568
Homo-Americans?

244
00:13:41,770 --> 00:13:42,930
There you go.

245
00:13:45,508 --> 00:13:46,907
I went to so much trouble...

246
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,340
-...to make sure tonight was perfect.
-I know.

247
00:13:49,512 --> 00:13:52,504
I even snuck into her iPod
to see what kind of music she likes...

248
00:13:52,681 --> 00:13:55,878
...so I could serenade her with one
at a karaoke bar after dinner.

249
00:13:56,051 --> 00:14:00,112
-What'd you come up with?
-"You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC.

250
00:14:00,789 --> 00:14:01,847
Molly likes metal?

251
00:14:02,024 --> 00:14:04,458
It was the only thing in her iPod
that didn't suck.

252
00:14:06,195 --> 00:14:09,028
I mean,
it is filled with whiny chick music.

253
00:14:09,198 --> 00:14:12,690
I had to pull the earbuds out
before I got my period.

254
00:14:13,536 --> 00:14:16,403
Michael, what in the world
are you doing here?

255
00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:19,668
I thought you were taking Molly out
for Valentine's Day.

256
00:14:19,842 --> 00:14:24,040
Yeah, well, that whole thing
sort of fell apart, Nana.

257
00:14:24,213 --> 00:14:27,671
I thought I was the first man
that Molly'd ever said "l love you" to.

258
00:14:27,850 --> 00:14:31,047
Turns out, she'll say it to anybody
who can make a decent pie crust.

259
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:32,380
I see.

260
00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:35,547
So you thought you were
her prince charming on a white horse...

261
00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:38,249
...and now you're seeing other hoof prints
in her yard.

262
00:14:40,796 --> 00:14:42,821
I bet they're not as deep as yours.

263
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:47,230
Did anybody ask,
"What do the stupid people think?"

264
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:51,234
-No.
-No is right.

265
00:14:51,407 --> 00:14:54,376
So just sit there
until we need a learned opinion...

266
00:14:54,543 --> 00:14:56,408
...about drinking out of the milk jug...

267
00:14:56,579 --> 00:14:59,605
...or what time the neighbor lady
takes her bath.

268
00:15:01,250 --> 00:15:04,185
Hey, I was shoveling the driveway
and she left her blinds open.

269
00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:07,049
You need to find yourself a woman
and get out of my house.

270
00:15:09,792 --> 00:15:12,659
Now, Michael, Molly's a grown woman...

271
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:16,059
...and you can't get upset with her
because she's got a past.

272
00:15:16,231 --> 00:15:19,359
I know that. I just didn't think her past
included some hunky guy...

273
00:15:19,535 --> 00:15:21,503
...that's in way better shape than I am.

274
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:26,198
So this ain't so much about Molly
as it is about you feeling a little less than.

275
00:15:26,375 --> 00:15:29,401
Maybe. I mean, how can I ever measure up
to a guy like that?

276
00:15:29,578 --> 00:15:31,273
In your own way is how.

277
00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:36,316
And I'm guessing acting like a jackass
on Valentine's Day ain't helping your case.

278
00:15:38,487 --> 00:15:41,479
See, you gotta ask yourself
which one you'd rather be...

279
00:15:41,657 --> 00:15:46,788
...the man she used to love
or the man she loves right now.

280
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:49,793
Thanks, Nana.

281
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:54,091
-Good luck out there, Carl.
-Where are you going?

282
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:57,197
Don't worry about it. I got a strategy.

283
00:15:58,007 --> 00:15:59,031
Mm-hm.

284
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:03,042
And if you walk into the ladies' bathroom
at church again pretending to be blind...

285
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,680
...I will slap the black off of you.

286
00:16:14,456 --> 00:16:17,220
-We're closed.
-It's Mike, the cop.

287
00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:19,054
Mike.

288
00:16:21,096 --> 00:16:23,826
-Why aren't you with Molly?
-Oh, I'm with Molly.

289
00:16:23,999 --> 00:16:26,763
Just so you know,
I'm gonna be with Molly for a long time.

290
00:16:27,336 --> 00:16:28,928
Good to hear it.

291
00:16:29,571 --> 00:16:31,903
Is that what you came by to tell me?

292
00:16:32,508 --> 00:16:33,873
Yes, it is.

293
00:16:34,043 --> 00:16:35,510
Oh, and I need a cake.

294
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:39,472
-What happened to the other one?
-She ate it, I didn't get a bite.

295
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,541
-She ate the whole thing?
-Look, it doesn't matter who ate what.

296
00:16:44,720 --> 00:16:46,210
I need something to replace it.

297
00:16:46,388 --> 00:16:47,980
Well, what you see is what I got.

298
00:16:48,157 --> 00:16:51,854
-Most of the best stuff is already taken.
-That's right, it is. Don't forget it.

299
00:16:52,027 --> 00:16:53,961
Molly's with me now. No take backs.

300
00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:56,620
There's a new sheriff in town.
His name is Mike Biggs.

301
00:16:56,799 --> 00:16:59,290
-I know. With two G's.
-Yeah.

302
00:17:00,002 --> 00:17:04,371
I might not be sporting a six-pack
or know how to make tiramisu...

303
00:17:05,741 --> 00:17:07,208
...but she's my girlfriend now.

304
00:17:07,376 --> 00:17:09,901
And even if you change your mind,
you can't have her.

305
00:17:10,079 --> 00:17:13,571
Don't worry, Mike,
I'm not gonna change my mind.

306
00:17:14,917 --> 00:17:18,011
You say that now, but you changed
your mind about marrying her.

307
00:17:18,187 --> 00:17:19,711
What's to stop you from doing it?

308
00:17:19,888 --> 00:17:23,153
I'm guessing the fact that I'm gay
might be a bit of a speed bump.

309
00:17:23,759 --> 00:17:26,250
I'm sorry, bump, gay, what?

310
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:30,163
Gay. With two G's.

311
00:17:30,566 --> 00:17:32,397
Molly didn't tell you that part?

312
00:17:32,568 --> 00:17:34,934
No, she did not.

313
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:38,235
But I try not to pry into her past.

314
00:17:38,407 --> 00:17:40,705
See, our relationship is built on trust.

315
00:17:40,876 --> 00:17:43,367
Well, there's nobody more trustworthy.

316
00:17:43,545 --> 00:17:46,742
After all I put her through,
she went out of her way to stay friends.

317
00:17:46,915 --> 00:17:49,611
She's really a remarkable girl.

318
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:53,412
Of course, I'm not telling you anything
you don't already know.

319
00:17:54,389 --> 00:17:55,686
Yeah.

320
00:17:55,858 --> 00:17:58,349
Listen, I gotta try to salvage
what's left of tonight.

321
00:17:58,794 --> 00:18:01,126
-How much for heart-shaped cookies?
-Seven dollars.

322
00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:04,026
Seven dollars? It's a freaking cookie.

323
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,966
It's a really good freaking cookie.

324
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:10,595
Can I get three for 20?

325
00:18:14,109 --> 00:18:15,440
Oh.

326
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:19,578
[SlGHS]

327
00:18:42,704 --> 00:18:44,035
[SlGHS]

328
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:00,980
Ugh. Ew.

329
00:19:01,156 --> 00:19:03,181
Coconut. That one doesn't count.

330
00:19:05,093 --> 00:19:08,927
[AC/DC'S "YOU SHOOK ME ALL NlGHT
LONG" PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

331
00:19:17,372 --> 00:19:19,932
Molly, I'm sorry.

332
00:19:20,843 --> 00:19:23,277
It doesn't matter what happened
in the past.

333
00:19:23,445 --> 00:19:28,439
Because every single thing
made you the person that I love now.

334
00:19:28,617 --> 00:19:32,212
I love you too,
but you've been acting like a real jerk.

335
00:19:32,688 --> 00:19:34,519
You're absolutely right.

336
00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:36,157
How can I make it up to you?

337
00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:37,349
I don't know.

338
00:19:37,526 --> 00:19:41,656
Why don't you stand there freezing your
marbles off while I think of something?

339
00:19:42,231 --> 00:19:44,165
Fair enough.

340
00:19:44,333 --> 00:19:47,029
Oh, and you're gonna join Sam's Club.

341
00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:51,769
They really don't have the inventory,
but okay.

342
00:19:52,241 --> 00:19:54,368
[SlNGlNG]
Had me fighting for air

343
00:19:54,543 --> 00:19:58,001
She told me to come
But I was already there

344
00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:01,775
The walls start shaking
The earth was quaking

345
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:06,216
My mind was aching
We were making it

346
00:20:06,388 --> 00:20:10,347
This is actually turning out
to be a really nice Valentine's Day.

347
00:20:12,227 --> 00:20:17,722
Knocked me out, I said you
Shook me all night long

348
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,130
Want a little more champagne?

349
00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:30,842
No, thank you.

350
00:20:31,013 --> 00:20:33,709
Well, it's chilled if you want it.

351
00:20:34,449 --> 00:20:35,677
How about another cookie?

352
00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:37,478
Better not.

353
00:20:37,653 --> 00:20:42,181
I had one small bite of
about 140 chocolates earlier.

354
00:20:42,357 --> 00:20:45,952
Tell me about it.
I ate a whole cake yesterday.

355
00:20:46,628 --> 00:20:48,186
Happy Valentine's Day, Mike.

356
00:20:48,964 --> 00:20:51,296
Happy Valentine's Day, Molly.

357
00:20:51,733 --> 00:20:56,466
Oh, we're rounding the corner.
Here comes the head winds again.

358
00:21:31,974 --> 00:21:33,965
[English - US - SDH]