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>>> you're about to enter a no

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Spin zone.

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In fact, it begins right now.

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Hello.

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I'm bill o'reilly.

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[ cheers and applause ]

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And thank you for watching "the

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Factor."

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Tonight's top story, the results

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Are in.

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My presuper bowl interview with

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President obama and the football

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Game that followed it had a

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Combined audience of over 200

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Million people.

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Making it the most watched

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Television event in human

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History.

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Once again, I have you, "the

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Factor" viewers to thank.

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We have more reaction to parts

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One and two of my interview

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Later on "the factor."

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But first, here is part three of

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My conversation with president

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Obama.

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♪

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>> all right, mr. President,

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Let's talk about afghanistan.

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Big problem.

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You got this clown moammar

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Gadhafi running the place and

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He's a crook.

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What do you do?

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>> first of all, bill, I have to

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Correct you.

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The president of afghanistan is

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Hamid karzai.

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>> why, what did I say?

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>> you said gadhafi.

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>> it is gadhafi.

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>> no, it's not.

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It's hamid karzai.

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>> mr. President, I like you,

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Okay?

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You're a good guy, and I truly

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Believe as president you're

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Doing the best you can for the

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Country.

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But I'm pretty sure it's

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Gadhafi.

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>> bill, it's karzai.

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>> lisa!

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>> yes?

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>> lisa, that pinhead who is

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Running afghanistan, the

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President, I need his name.

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>> I don't need his name.

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It's karzai.

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>> relax.

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This way we'll know for sure,

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Okay?

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I'm not saying you're wrong.

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You could be writright.

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You could be right.

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In the meantime back to

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Afghanistan.

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We've been there ten years,

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What's your plan?

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>> it's clear afghanistan has

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Begun to stabilize.

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>> well -- I don't know.

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I don't know.

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Maybe.

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Maybe, no, it's a pocket,ssibil

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But I don't know.

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>> mr. O'reilly, it's definitely

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Gadhafi.

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>> that's what I thought.

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Mr. President, egypt.

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A lot of turmoil, people in the

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Streets, all that jazz.

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What's going to happen?

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>> bill, the egyptian people

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Have spoken clearly.

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>> as you know "the factor" has

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Been on the egypt thing for a

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Couple days now and this mubarak

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Guy, trust me, he ain't going

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Nowhere.

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He's going to be there a long

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Time.

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But he knows we're on him

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Because he's a "factor" viewer.

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I don't think he's going to try

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Any funny stuff.

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Not with "the factor" stuff.

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He could be, maybe, but I doubt

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It.

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>> that's good to know.

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>> a couple more questions.

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The segment we call the culture

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Quiz.

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First up, the andy griffith show

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Delighted american tv awediens

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From 1960 to '68 which member of

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The cast went on to direct the

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Beautiful mind and da vinci

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Code?

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Was it don knotts, jim nay bors,

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Or henry winkler.

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>> it was ron howard.

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>> use the paddle.

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>> yeah.

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>> it was "b," ron howard.

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>> you're right.

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Correct.

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Very good, mr. President.

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Very good.

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Number two.

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"gunsmoke" was the longest

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Running tv series in history

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Starring james arness as marshal

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Matt dillon.

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Who played the role of the

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Glamorous dance hall girl kitty?

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Was it donna reid, connie

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Stevens, amanda blake, or raquel

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Welch?

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>> I'm going to say amanda

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Blake.

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>> oh, way to go, mr. President!

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Two for two.

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>> it was a lucky guess.

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>> uh-huh.

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Now we got time for our viewer

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Mail.

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>> do I have to stay for this?

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>> sit down!

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[ laughter ]

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About our segment on out of

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Control judges, bill wrote you

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Are without question the most

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Intelligent person ever to

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Appear on television.

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Why, thank you, james.

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Thank you very much.

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That's nice to hear.

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And charlotte woodward writes

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This verse, there was once a

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Newsman named bill whose

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"factor" program gave everyone a

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Thrill.

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It was just like a school where

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No spin was the rule and our

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Heads with knowledge it did

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Fill.

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Very good, charlotte.

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Excellent poem, don't you think

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So, mr. President?

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>> it was okay.

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>> uh-huh.

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[ laughter ]

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>> both charlotte and jim as

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Well as you, mr. President, will

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Be getting our no spin zone tote

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Bag and "factor" wind breakers.

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>> very kind of you.

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>> as always feel free to write

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Us at the "factor" name and town

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If you opine.

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And don't be long winded.

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That's our vocabulary word for

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The day, long winded.

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You know that word, mr.

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President?

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>> yes, I do.

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Now, can I go?

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>> hang on, hang on.

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That's all the time we have

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Tonight on "the factor."

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Please join us here tomorrow

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Because the spin stops here and

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Live from new york, it's

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Saturday night!

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[ cheers and applause ]

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>> announcer: It's "Saturday

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Night live"!

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With fred armisen

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Abby elliott

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Bill hader

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Seth meyers

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Bobby moynihan

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Andy samberg

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Jason sudeikis

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Kenan thompson

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Kristen wigg

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Featuring vanessa bayer

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Paul brittain

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Taran killam

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Nasim pedrad

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Jay pharaoh

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Musical guest --

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Chris brown

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And your host --

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Russell brand

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Ladies and gentlemen, russell

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Brand!

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Captions paid for by
nbc-universal television

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-- <font color="#ffff00">Captions by vitac</font> --
<font color="#00ffff">www.Vitac.Com</font>

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[ cheers and applause ]

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>> thank you!

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Thank you.

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Thank you so much for clapping

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Me.

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I'm honored to be here.

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Thank you.

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Already laughing.

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Nothing has happened.

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It's amazing.

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It's truly amazing for me to be

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Here as an english comedian in

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Your beautiful country hosting

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Your most fantastic show.

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Thank you, I'm honored, honored

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To be here.

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[ cheers and applause ]

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Thank you.

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I'm just pointing out that I am

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A comedian because just in

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Case -- this is a difficult

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Thing for me to point out, but

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You should know.

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I'm much more famous in England

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Than I am here, okay?

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I don't get any pleasure from

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Telling you that.

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It's embarrassing.

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It's not a good thing to have to

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Tell people, fame really loses

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Its edge if you have to tell

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People you have it.

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You know, I'm famous.

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That's like telling people

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You're sexually attractive.

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It really takes the edge off.

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Makes people recoil somewhat,

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But I'm telling you not to

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Boast, you want you to trust me,

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I'm here hosting one of your

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Great institutions.

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I want you to know I'm not here

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To try to reclaim this colony

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For her majesty.

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You've done a wonderful job.

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It's yours now.

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It's definitely yours.

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I'm only mentioning that I'm

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More famous in England just in

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Case you're worried about how

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Tight my trousers are.

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Okay?

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Because in England when you're

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Famous, this is how tight you

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Can wear your trousers.

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[ laughter ]

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Without fame, people might

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Question my sanity.

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Why are his pants so tight?

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What's wrong with that guy?

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I don't want you to be worried

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About it.

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In England tight pants means

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You're famous.

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In america tight pants means

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Additional screening at jfk

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Airport I learned earlier today.

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And I'd like to take this

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Opportunity to thank juan in

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Immigration for the tenderness

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Of your touch.

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It was almost a romantic

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Experience.

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Normally if in an airport you

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See somebody put a rubber glove

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On, it's time to worry, but,

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Juan, you were beautiful.

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Thank you for making is to

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Wonderful for me.

290
00:09:38,259 --> 00:09:45,665
[ cheers and applause ]

291
00:09:45,733 --> 00:09:46,566
Thanks for the clapping.

292
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:47,601
I appreciate it.

293
00:09:47,668 --> 00:09:48,735
Also, I want to point out that

294
00:09:48,803 --> 00:09:50,670
Over the course of the show

295
00:09:50,738 --> 00:09:51,705
Because there will be

296
00:09:51,772 --> 00:09:53,607
Magnificent sketches obviously,

297
00:09:53,674 --> 00:09:54,674
That will be wonderful, you will

298
00:09:54,742 --> 00:09:57,277
See me wearing looser trousers.

299
00:09:57,345 --> 00:09:58,678
You might feel a sense of

300
00:09:58,746 --> 00:10:00,914
Relief, oh, he's wearing looser

301
00:10:00,982 --> 00:10:01,348
Trousers now.

302
00:08:26,415 --> 00:08:28,250
Let me assure you, I will be

303
00:10:03,317 --> 00:10:06,520
Wearing a pair of tight trousers

304
00:10:06,587 --> 00:10:07,854
Under those loose trousers.

305
00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:10,524
Not really as a fashion choice

306
00:10:10,591 --> 00:10:10,857
Anymore.

307
00:10:10,925 --> 00:10:12,225
More of an obligation.

308
00:10:12,293 --> 00:10:13,860
If you've worn tight trousers

309
00:10:13,928 --> 00:10:15,395
For as long as I have, it

310
00:10:15,463 --> 00:10:18,265
Induces a kind of chaos down

311
00:10:18,332 --> 00:10:19,900
There and the trousers

312
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:20,834
Essentially holds things

313
00:10:20,902 --> 00:10:21,201
Together.

314
00:10:21,269 --> 00:10:22,669
If I take these off, it just

315
00:10:22,737 --> 00:10:24,971
Springs into chaos!

316
00:10:25,039 --> 00:10:26,506
It's essentially the same

317
00:10:26,574 --> 00:10:27,040
Principle behind a

318
00:10:27,108 --> 00:10:29,809
Jack-in-the-box.

319
00:10:29,877 --> 00:10:31,011
I mean, the children's toy, not

320
00:10:31,078 --> 00:10:33,446
The burger.

321
00:10:33,514 --> 00:10:35,048
That would be awful.

322
00:10:35,116 --> 00:10:36,816
Not like a jack-in-the-box

323
00:10:36,884 --> 00:10:37,150
Burger.

324
00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:39,586
No one wants fries with that.

325
00:10:39,654 --> 00:10:42,055
There's no way to have a meal.

326
00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,524
[ laughter ]

327
00:10:44,592 --> 00:10:47,827
I like these guys.

328
00:10:47,895 --> 00:10:50,697
Musical accompaniment.

329
00:10:50,765 --> 00:10:52,132
I live in your country now,

330
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,768
Which I adore and I respect and

331
00:10:54,835 --> 00:10:56,469
I love and let me be clear, but

332
00:10:56,537 --> 00:10:57,504
I have become very patriotic

333
00:10:57,572 --> 00:10:58,338
Since I have been here.

334
00:10:58,406 --> 00:11:00,340
When I was in England, I wasn't

335
00:11:00,408 --> 00:11:00,941
That patriotic.

336
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:04,244
I was a bit more rebellious and

337
00:11:04,312 --> 00:11:04,578
Saucy.

338
00:11:04,645 --> 00:11:05,912
Here I'm very patriotic about

339
00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:06,479
The queen.

340
00:11:06,547 --> 00:11:09,249
So much so that if collin firth

341
00:11:09,317 --> 00:11:11,218
Doesn't win the oscar for "the

342
00:11:11,285 --> 00:11:13,086
King's speven," I think I'm

343
00:11:13,154 --> 00:11:14,154
Going to lose myself.

344
00:11:14,222 --> 00:11:15,388
I'm not going to be able to take

345
00:11:15,456 --> 00:11:17,457
It, and he's just a pretend

346
00:11:17,525 --> 00:11:17,891
King.

347
00:11:17,959 --> 00:11:21,461
Let's get behind collin and his

348
00:11:21,529 --> 00:11:22,596
Oscar, please.

349
00:11:22,663 --> 00:11:23,196
[ cheers and applause ]

350
00:11:23,264 --> 00:11:24,231
Thank you.

351
00:11:24,298 --> 00:11:26,566
Also, natalie portman I think

352
00:11:26,634 --> 00:11:29,502
Will win oscar for "black swan,"

353
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:30,570
Won't she?

354
00:11:30,638 --> 00:11:30,937
She will.

355
00:11:31,005 --> 00:11:32,505
And I think that's quite right.

356
00:11:32,573 --> 00:11:35,041
You know, but I do want to point

357
00:11:35,109 --> 00:11:36,710
Something out to all of you as a

358
00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:37,444
Matter of fact.

359
00:11:37,511 --> 00:11:38,979
Now, people say natalie portman,

360
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:40,213
She deserve that is oscar

361
00:11:40,281 --> 00:11:41,781
Because in her preparation for

362
00:11:41,849 --> 00:11:43,750
"black swan" she did five hours

363
00:11:43,818 --> 00:11:44,985
Of dancing every day.

364
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,687
She did all of that training,

365
00:11:47,755 --> 00:11:48,021
Right?

366
00:11:48,089 --> 00:11:49,956
Well, I was in a film called

367
00:11:50,024 --> 00:11:54,894
"get him to the greek" --

368
00:11:54,962 --> 00:11:55,495
[ cheers and applause ]

369
00:11:55,563 --> 00:11:57,931
In that film I played a sex

370
00:11:57,999 --> 00:12:00,133
Addicted drug addicted

371
00:12:00,201 --> 00:12:01,134
Narcissistic english

372
00:12:01,202 --> 00:12:01,534
Entertainer.

373
00:12:01,602 --> 00:12:03,103
I prepared for that role for 20

374
00:12:03,170 --> 00:12:03,436
Years.

375
00:12:03,504 --> 00:12:09,643
[ laughter ]

376
00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:12,312
One of the consequences

377
00:12:12,380 --> 00:12:13,780
Fortunately's preparation, a few

378
00:12:13,848 --> 00:12:14,614
Bunions and blisters.

379
00:12:14,682 --> 00:12:16,249
You can scrape them off with a

380
00:12:16,317 --> 00:12:18,518
Butter knife.

381
00:12:18,586 --> 00:12:28,261
I have hep approximac preparing

382
00:12:28,329 --> 00:12:30,263
Role.

383
00:12:30,331 --> 00:12:35,035
I haven't got hepatitis c.

384
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:37,804
Hep c, not hypothetical c.

385
00:12:37,872 --> 00:12:38,772
The real thing.

386
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:42,742
Talking of hepatitis c, it's

387
00:12:42,810 --> 00:12:43,376
Valentine's day tomorrow!

388
00:12:43,444 --> 00:12:47,113
[ cheers and applause ]

389
00:12:47,181 --> 00:12:49,549
I'd like to take this

390
00:12:49,617 --> 00:12:50,517
Opportunity to say happy

391
00:12:50,584 --> 00:12:51,985
Valentine's day to my wife, katy

392
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:52,319
Perry.

393
00:12:52,386 --> 00:12:58,992
[ cheers and applause ]

394
00:12:59,060 --> 00:13:00,627
People are often curious

395
00:13:00,695 --> 00:13:00,994
Actually.

396
00:13:01,062 --> 00:13:02,595
They say, oh, what's it like

397
00:13:02,663 --> 00:13:04,531
Being married to katy perry?

398
00:13:04,598 --> 00:13:06,266
And it's very nice, I like it.

399
00:13:06,334 --> 00:13:07,367
I'm not complaining.

400
00:13:07,435 --> 00:13:09,769
It's nice to be married to katy

401
00:13:09,837 --> 00:13:10,103
Perry.

402
00:13:10,171 --> 00:13:11,137
It's nice to be married to

403
00:13:11,205 --> 00:13:12,605
Anyone, I think.

404
00:13:12,673 --> 00:13:13,373
I'm just glad anyone will have

405
00:13:13,441 --> 00:13:16,109
Me.

406
00:13:16,177 --> 00:13:18,011
You'll be surprised how ordinary

407
00:13:18,079 --> 00:13:19,179
The marriage is.

408
00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:20,847
And I'll demonstrate to you now

409
00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:21,948
With language the ordinariness

410
00:13:22,016 --> 00:13:22,515
Of the marriage.

411
00:13:22,583 --> 00:13:23,783
Here is an example of how

412
00:13:23,851 --> 00:13:28,288
Ordinary my marriage is.

413
00:13:28,356 --> 00:13:29,456
One, the other day I was wearing

414
00:13:29,523 --> 00:13:31,991
A shirt and she went, "are you

415
00:13:32,059 --> 00:13:33,426
Wearing that shirt out?"

416
00:13:33,494 --> 00:13:33,827
Right?

417
00:13:33,894 --> 00:13:35,295
And it was not a proper

418
00:13:35,363 --> 00:13:35,662
Question.

419
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:36,996
It was like she meant get it

420
00:13:37,064 --> 00:13:37,297
Off.

421
00:13:37,365 --> 00:13:38,298
I had to take it off.

422
00:13:38,366 --> 00:13:41,468
Two, the other day she lent my

423
00:13:41,535 --> 00:13:43,269
Car to her brother without

424
00:13:43,337 --> 00:13:44,404
Asking, and I was going to get

425
00:13:44,472 --> 00:13:45,839
Angry but then I thought that's

426
00:13:45,906 --> 00:13:48,842
Such a lovely, normal problem to

427
00:13:48,909 --> 00:13:49,376
Have.

428
00:13:49,443 --> 00:13:51,711
My wife lent my car to her

429
00:13:51,779 --> 00:13:52,078
Brother.

430
00:13:52,146 --> 00:13:53,346
When I think of the problems I

431
00:13:53,414 --> 00:13:54,647
Used to have which were much

432
00:13:54,715 --> 00:13:57,650
More like "russell, the police

433
00:13:57,718 --> 00:14:00,887
Are at the door!"

434
00:14:00,955 --> 00:14:03,056
Flush the drugs down the toilet.

435
00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:05,158
They've got sniffer dogs with

436
00:14:05,226 --> 00:14:05,558
Them.

437
00:14:05,626 --> 00:14:07,293
Wow, sniffer dogs, bring them

438
00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:08,895
In.

439
00:14:08,963 --> 00:14:13,333
Dogs with jobs!

440
00:14:13,401 --> 00:14:13,733
[ laughter ]

441
00:14:13,801 --> 00:14:14,534
That's amazing!

442
00:14:14,602 --> 00:14:15,635
That is amazing.

443
00:14:15,703 --> 00:14:16,236
You got jobs?

444
00:14:16,303 --> 00:14:17,637
Have you got jobs?

445
00:14:17,705 --> 00:14:20,974
You got a job, don't you, don't

446
00:14:21,041 --> 00:14:21,274
You?

447
00:14:21,342 --> 00:14:22,942
Step this way, please, sir.

448
00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:23,243
Okay.

449
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:26,212
I'm come quietly.

450
00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,714
And also, and this is a normal

451
00:14:27,782 --> 00:14:28,982
Thing, anyone here who is

452
00:14:29,049 --> 00:14:30,884
Married I think any man here at

453
00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,118
Least married will recognize

454
00:14:32,186 --> 00:14:32,652
This problem.

455
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,587
Say there's a noise in the

456
00:14:34,655 --> 00:14:36,723
Nighttime in my house, in the

457
00:14:36,791 --> 00:14:39,726
Nighttime, a frightening

458
00:14:39,794 --> 00:14:41,494
Downstairs noise, I have to go

459
00:14:41,562 --> 00:14:43,696
And look in the night.

460
00:14:43,764 --> 00:14:45,231
Katy will just go "russell,

461
00:14:45,299 --> 00:14:46,599
There's a noise, go and look,

462
00:14:46,667 --> 00:14:53,540
See what it is in case it's a

463
00:14:53,607 --> 00:14:54,407
Burgl

464
00:14:54,475 --> 00:14:54,774
Burglar."

465
00:14:54,842 --> 00:14:55,475
It would be horrible for me!

466
00:14:55,543 --> 00:14:56,743
What am I going to say.

467
00:14:56,811 --> 00:14:58,211
It's embarrassing also.

468
00:14:58,279 --> 00:15:00,079
Hello, I see you're here

469
00:15:00,147 --> 00:15:00,780
Burglaring my house.

470
00:15:00,848 --> 00:15:02,816
Don't be alarmed, I'm much more

471
00:15:02,883 --> 00:15:06,019
Famous in England.

472
00:15:06,086 --> 00:15:07,487
I'm in these tight pajamas.

473
00:15:07,555 --> 00:15:08,488
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you

474
00:15:08,556 --> 00:15:08,855
Very much.

475
00:15:08,923 --> 00:15:20,934
[ cheers and applause ]

476
00:15:21,001 --> 00:15:21,968
>>> concussions,

477
00:15:22,036 --> 00:15:23,002
Neck injuries,

478
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:23,536
Broken bones.

479
00:15:23,604 --> 00:15:24,571
>> hello, I'm frank gublin,

480
00:15:24,638 --> 00:15:26,172
Attorney at law, and at gublin

481
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,740
And greene, we specialize in

482
00:15:27,808 --> 00:15:29,843
Assisting clients who have

483
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:30,877
Sustained injuries while working

484
00:15:30,945 --> 00:15:32,946
At or attending the broadway

485
00:15:33,013 --> 00:15:33,947
Musical "spider-man:

486
00:15:34,014 --> 00:15:34,981
Turn off the dark."

487
00:15:35,049 --> 00:15:36,015
[ laughter ]

488
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:37,584
If you or a loved one has been

489
00:15:37,651 --> 00:15:38,785
Affected by this show, do not

490
00:15:38,853 --> 00:15:39,819
Waste a moment.

491
00:15:39,887 --> 00:15:41,955
Call me today.

492
00:15:42,022 --> 00:15:42,956
>> I love spider-man but I

493
00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:44,023
Didn't love it when someone

494
00:15:44,091 --> 00:15:45,091
Dressed like spider-man fell on

495
00:15:45,159 --> 00:15:47,160
My head.

496
00:15:47,228 --> 00:15:49,262
Frank gublin not only got my

497
00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,730
Tickets refunded, he also got me

498
00:15:50,798 --> 00:15:51,798
Two additional tickets to a

499
00:15:51,866 --> 00:15:52,732
Future performance of

500
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:53,800
"spider-man: Turn off the dark."

501
00:15:53,868 --> 00:15:55,902
Thanks, frank gublin.

502
00:15:55,970 --> 00:15:57,470
>> I was the sixth actor to play

503
00:15:57,538 --> 00:15:59,038
Spider-man, then a harness came

504
00:15:59,106 --> 00:16:01,140
Loose and I was shot through the

505
00:16:01,208 --> 00:16:02,208
Crowd, out an open window and on

506
00:16:02,276 --> 00:16:03,243
To 42nd street, where I was hit

507
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:05,378
By a passing bus.

508
00:16:05,446 --> 00:16:06,045
Thanks to frank gublin, I

509
00:16:06,113 --> 00:16:06,913
Received a settlement of

510
00:16:06,981 --> 00:16:08,915
40 tickets.

511
00:16:08,983 --> 00:16:10,483
>> are we the only new york firm

512
00:16:10,551 --> 00:16:11,551
Specializing in "spider-man:

513
00:16:11,619 --> 00:16:12,585
Turn off the dark" injuries?

514
00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:13,753
No.

515
00:16:13,821 --> 00:16:14,754
Are we the best?

516
00:16:14,822 --> 00:16:17,390
You bet.

517
00:16:17,458 --> 00:16:18,424
>> I'm a prominent irish rock

518
00:16:18,492 --> 00:16:19,526
Star who had his reputation

519
00:16:19,593 --> 00:16:20,527
Irreparably damaged by this

520
00:16:20,594 --> 00:16:22,662
Show.

521
00:16:22,730 --> 00:16:24,731
I called frank gublin and thanks

522
00:16:24,798 --> 00:16:26,232
To him, I received a settlement

523
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:26,866
Of one ticket to a future

524
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:27,667
Performance of "spider-man: Turn

525
00:16:27,735 --> 00:16:29,235
Off the dark."

526
00:16:29,303 --> 00:16:30,870
>> we've settled all kinds of

527
00:16:30,938 --> 00:16:32,372
Complaints.

528
00:16:32,439 --> 00:16:33,439
Didn't like the song,

529
00:16:33,507 --> 00:16:35,008
Confused by the plot,

530
00:16:35,075 --> 00:16:37,110
Insulted legacy of spider-man,

531
00:16:37,177 --> 00:16:38,678
Fell asleep so suddenly, I hit

532
00:16:38,746 --> 00:16:39,712
Head on seat in front of me,

533
00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:40,780
Sucky title,

534
00:16:40,848 --> 00:16:41,848
Green goblin's pants fell down,

535
00:16:41,916 --> 00:16:42,782
Saw package.

536
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:43,316
[ laughter ]

537
00:16:43,384 --> 00:16:44,484
>> did frank gublin get me a

538
00:16:44,552 --> 00:16:45,018
Settlement?

539
00:16:45,085 --> 00:16:46,085
Why don't you ask my new

540
00:16:46,153 --> 00:16:48,121
Spider-man hat?

541
00:16:48,188 --> 00:16:50,189
>> thanks, frank gublin.

542
00:16:50,257 --> 00:16:51,257
>> the reviews are in.

543
00:16:51,325 --> 00:16:52,859
>> guilty.

544
00:16:52,927 --> 00:16:54,961
>> what are you waiting for?

545
00:16:55,029 --> 00:16:56,529
Call frank dublin today.

546
00:16:56,597 --> 00:17:01,968
>> gublin and greene.

547
00:17:02,036 --> 00:17:03,403
"spider-man: Turn off the dark"

548
00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:06,072
Injury lawyers.

549
00:17:28,946 --> 00:17:29,746
>>> hi, everybody.

550
00:17:29,813 --> 00:17:30,780
I am cheryl brown, and you know

551
00:17:30,848 --> 00:17:31,814
What that means?

552
00:17:31,882 --> 00:17:33,916
You are watching ultimate

553
00:17:33,984 --> 00:17:36,018
Vacation giveaway.

554
00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:37,587
Millions of you have entered for

555
00:17:37,654 --> 00:17:39,255
Our six week dream vacation, but

556
00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:40,890
There can only be one winner,

557
00:17:40,958 --> 00:17:42,258
And I am outside his house right

558
00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:47,096
Now.

559
00:17:47,164 --> 00:17:47,897
I cannot believe I'm going to

560
00:17:47,965 --> 00:17:48,431
Knock on that door.

561
00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:50,800
Come on!

562
00:17:50,868 --> 00:17:52,335
This is so exciting.

563
00:17:52,402 --> 00:17:55,471
I cannot wait to see his face.

564
00:17:55,539 --> 00:18:05,581
[ laughter ]

565
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,917
>> mr. Gregory evans?

566
00:18:07,985 --> 00:18:08,951
>> yeah, yeah.

567
00:18:09,019 --> 00:18:11,554
Yeah, that's me.

568
00:18:11,622 --> 00:18:14,690
>> well, greg, guess what?

569
00:18:14,758 --> 00:18:15,758
We are live, and you have won

570
00:18:15,826 --> 00:18:16,793
Travel channel's ultimate

571
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:17,827
Vacation giveaway.

572
00:18:17,895 --> 00:18:18,795
You won!

573
00:18:18,862 --> 00:18:20,897
Whoo-hoo!

574
00:18:20,964 --> 00:18:22,431
Whoo!

575
00:18:22,499 --> 00:18:26,836
Whoo-hoo!

576
00:18:26,904 --> 00:18:31,507
[ laughter ]

577
00:18:31,575 --> 00:18:36,078
>> huh, really?

578
00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:43,352
>> well, yeah, really.

579
00:18:43,420 --> 00:18:44,220
Woo-h

580
00:18:44,288 --> 00:18:44,587
Woo-hoo!

581
00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:45,288
It is six weeks on a private

582
00:18:45,355 --> 00:18:45,888
Yacht.

583
00:18:45,956 --> 00:18:47,990
We're on live tv.

584
00:18:48,058 --> 00:18:48,658
Can you believe this, greg?

585
00:18:48,725 --> 00:18:49,592
Look in the camera.

586
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,160
How do you feel?

587
00:18:51,228 --> 00:18:52,128
>> I feel --

588
00:18:52,196 --> 00:18:54,230
Good, I guess.

589
00:18:54,298 --> 00:18:56,332
>> come on!

590
00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,501
Come on, get excited.

591
00:18:58,569 --> 00:19:01,370
This is what people want to see.

592
00:19:01,438 --> 00:19:06,809
Whoo!

593
00:19:06,877 --> 00:19:07,877
This whole trip is worth

594
00:19:07,945 --> 00:19:09,645
$50,000!

595
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:11,981
>> I hope I don't got to pay

596
00:19:12,049 --> 00:19:13,850
Taxes on that, do I?

597
00:19:13,917 --> 00:19:14,817
>> you might, I don't know.

598
00:19:14,885 --> 00:19:17,386
[ laughter ]

599
00:19:17,454 --> 00:19:18,120
You still got to be really happy

600
00:19:18,188 --> 00:19:19,922
About it.

601
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:21,958
Come on and show it on tv!

602
00:19:22,025 --> 00:19:23,459
Whoo!

603
00:19:23,527 --> 00:19:25,127
Yeah!

604
00:19:25,195 --> 00:19:27,096
Come on, come on.

605
00:19:27,164 --> 00:19:29,832
Whoo!

606
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:34,937
I can't believe I won!

607
00:19:35,005 --> 00:19:38,074
I have a question, okay?

608
00:19:38,141 --> 00:19:40,710
Are you ready to snorkel?

609
00:19:40,777 --> 00:19:41,711
>> I don't know how to swim.

610
00:19:41,778 --> 00:19:48,251
[ laughter ]

611
00:19:48,318 --> 00:19:51,454
>> why did you enter to win a

612
00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:51,988
Cruise?

613
00:19:52,055 --> 00:19:52,555
Guess what?

614
00:19:52,623 --> 00:19:53,923
You leave Friday!

615
00:19:53,991 --> 00:19:59,428
Whoo!

616
00:19:59,496 --> 00:20:04,267
>> do I have to get up early?

617
00:20:04,722 --> 00:20:05,654
>> maybe this will get you
Pumped.

618
00:20:05,654 --> 00:20:06,519
Ready?

619
00:20:06,554 --> 00:20:08,072
Whoo!

620
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:08,506
Come on now.

621
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:12,751
Yeah!

622
00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:16,988
Come on now yeah!

623
00:20:17,056 --> 00:20:18,223
How much time do we have left?

624
00:20:18,291 --> 00:20:22,360
I'm starting to get a little

625
00:20:22,428 --> 00:20:22,727
Anxiety.

626
00:20:22,795 --> 00:20:23,428
Having a hard time breathing.

627
00:20:23,496 --> 00:20:25,430
Okay.

628
00:20:25,498 --> 00:20:25,764
What?

629
00:20:25,831 --> 00:20:26,998
Okay, good, yes.

630
00:20:27,066 --> 00:20:28,133
I'm okay.

631
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:28,633
Yes.

632
00:20:28,701 --> 00:20:29,734
Good, yes.

633
00:20:29,802 --> 00:20:30,702
Right now we are all just going

634
00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:32,003
To take a look back at some of

635
00:20:32,071 --> 00:20:33,905
Our past winners, okay, greg,

636
00:20:33,973 --> 00:20:35,607
And some of their reactions.

637
00:20:35,675 --> 00:20:38,810
I love how jacked up they get.

638
00:20:38,878 --> 00:20:39,978
You should watch them and get

639
00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:42,013
Jacked up, too, because you're

640
00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:46,751
Not doing anything.

641
00:20:46,819 --> 00:20:48,486
>> oh, my god, I've never been

642
00:20:48,554 --> 00:20:50,755
On vacation before in my life!

643
00:20:50,823 --> 00:20:53,124
Whoo!

644
00:20:53,192 --> 00:20:54,125
I'm so happy!

645
00:20:54,193 --> 00:20:56,695
>> yeah!

646
00:20:56,762 --> 00:21:02,200
I'm out of this stink town!

647
00:21:02,268 --> 00:21:03,134
Ha ha ha ha!

648
00:21:03,202 --> 00:21:04,202
Yeah, suck on that!

649
00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:05,737
Suck on that!

650
00:21:05,805 --> 00:21:20,485
[ laughter ]

651
00:21:20,553 --> 00:21:21,619
>> you won!

652
00:21:21,687 --> 00:21:23,421
Did you see that one guy?

653
00:21:23,489 --> 00:21:23,955
He messed his pants.

654
00:21:24,023 --> 00:21:28,893
Did you?

655
00:21:28,961 --> 00:21:33,198
You are dry.

656
00:21:33,265 --> 00:21:36,034
These pants are thin.

657
00:21:36,102 --> 00:21:37,502
>> hey, greg.

658
00:21:37,570 --> 00:21:38,103
>> hey.

659
00:21:38,170 --> 00:21:40,005
>> sorry, am I interrupting?

660
00:21:40,072 --> 00:21:40,638
>> no.

661
00:21:40,706 --> 00:21:41,840
>> yes, yes, he just won a six

662
00:21:41,907 --> 00:21:44,376
Week vacation!

663
00:21:44,443 --> 00:21:45,944
>> oh, neat.

664
00:21:46,012 --> 00:21:47,412
Here is your mail.

665
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:48,380
>> okay.

666
00:21:48,447 --> 00:21:50,015
Well, folks, thankfully we are

667
00:21:50,082 --> 00:21:51,249
Out of time.

668
00:21:51,317 --> 00:21:52,083
So I just want to say --

669
00:21:52,151 --> 00:21:58,390
>> oh, my god.

670
00:21:58,457 --> 00:22:00,492
It's the bpottery barn catalog.

671
00:22:00,559 --> 00:22:02,394
The annual drape event.

672
00:22:02,461 --> 00:22:04,262
Free shipping.

673
00:22:04,330 --> 00:22:04,763
Four more years!

674
00:22:04,830 --> 00:22:10,668
Four more years!

675
00:22:10,736 --> 00:22:12,804
>> there you have it.

676
00:22:12,872 --> 00:22:15,073
To greg from me and the travel

677
00:22:15,141 --> 00:22:15,440
Channel.

678
00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:16,207
>> cheryl, watch out for that

679
00:22:16,275 --> 00:22:16,541
Gutter.

680
00:22:16,609 --> 00:22:17,959
>> what?

681
00:22:18,044 --> 00:22:21,796
[ laughter ]

682
00:22:21,881 --> 00:22:23,014
>> oh, yeah!

683
00:22:23,082 --> 00:22:26,818
[ cheers and applause ]

684
00:22:32,525 --> 00:22:34,893
>>> kelly donovan spent 17 years

685
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,361
In an english prison.

686
00:22:36,428 --> 00:22:37,428
>> do you really feel that

687
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,596
You're rehabilitated,

688
00:22:38,647 --> 00:22:40,165
Mr. Donovan.

689
00:22:40,232 --> 00:22:41,199
>> yeah, that's right.

690
00:22:41,266 --> 00:22:42,233
>> and vowed to turn away from a

691
00:22:42,301 --> 00:22:46,437
Life of crime.

692
00:22:46,489 --> 00:22:47,472
>> I got a job for you, terry.

693
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:48,206
>> nah, I don't do that kind of

694
00:22:48,274 --> 00:22:49,074
Thing anymore.

695
00:22:49,141 --> 00:22:50,108
>> but he'll pick up a gun, once

696
00:22:50,176 --> 00:22:50,842
Again, to defend the only thing

697
00:22:50,910 --> 00:22:51,509
He loves.

698
00:22:51,577 --> 00:22:53,111
>> if you don't do what we

699
00:22:53,179 --> 00:22:54,112
Say --

700
00:22:54,180 --> 00:22:55,713
[ muttering ]

701
00:22:55,781 --> 00:22:56,748
>> the critics of raving,

702
00:22:56,816 --> 00:22:57,816
British, extremely british.

703
00:22:57,883 --> 00:22:58,850
I didn't understand what they

704
00:22:58,918 --> 00:23:00,952
Were saying.

705
00:23:01,003 --> 00:23:07,175
[ muttering ]

706
00:23:07,259 --> 00:23:08,793
>> from the producers of "sexy

707
00:23:08,844 --> 00:23:16,601
Beast," "the red riding trilogy"

708
00:23:16,652 --> 00:23:17,669
And "lock stock" and

709
00:23:17,736 --> 00:23:18,736
"two smoking barrels."

710
00:23:18,804 --> 00:23:19,704
>> burn for you!

711
00:23:19,772 --> 00:23:21,272
[ muttering ]

712
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:22,440
>> and the director of "round

713
00:23:22,491 --> 00:23:23,575
The bend," "grow up, all right"

714
00:23:23,642 --> 00:23:24,542
Comes the toughest, grittiest,

715
00:23:24,610 --> 00:23:25,610
Most british crime drama of the

716
00:23:25,678 --> 00:23:27,145
Year.

717
00:23:27,213 --> 00:23:28,179
>> don't go round, round me

718
00:23:28,247 --> 00:23:30,315
Round.

719
00:23:30,382 --> 00:23:33,418
>> don't go round and round.

720
00:23:33,486 --> 00:23:35,486
♪

721
00:23:35,538 --> 00:23:36,538
>> usa today says I thought they

722
00:23:36,622 --> 00:23:37,422
Were speaking a foreign

723
00:23:37,489 --> 00:23:38,490
Language.

724
00:23:38,557 --> 00:23:41,092
I don't think I heard a single

725
00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:42,160
Thing.

726
00:23:42,228 --> 00:23:44,762
>> if we don't pay, they're

727
00:23:44,830 --> 00:23:46,364
Going to kill us.

728
00:23:46,432 --> 00:23:47,382
>> darling, go say I told him --

729
00:23:47,466 --> 00:23:53,638
[ muttering ]

730
00:23:53,706 --> 00:23:55,190
>> but what if you're wrong?

731
00:23:55,274 --> 00:23:59,394
[ laughter ]

732
00:23:59,478 --> 00:24:03,531
[ muttering ]

733
00:24:03,616 --> 00:24:04,699
>> "time" magazine says, is

734
00:24:04,783 --> 00:24:06,201
There a way to turn on subtitles

735
00:24:06,285 --> 00:24:07,685
For a movie in english?

736
00:24:07,753 --> 00:24:11,355
If so, which button is it?

737
00:24:11,407 --> 00:24:12,490
>> all right.

738
00:24:12,558 --> 00:24:14,125
>> hey, hey.

739
00:24:14,193 --> 00:24:15,076
>> oh.

740
00:24:15,161 --> 00:24:17,695
Why didn't you say so.

741
00:24:17,746 --> 00:24:19,831
>> peter travers of "rolling

742
00:24:19,899 --> 00:24:20,865
Stone" says, the one guy in the

743
00:24:20,933 --> 00:24:21,900
Track suit, gypsy or crispy --

744
00:24:21,967 --> 00:24:22,967
He was good.

745
00:24:23,035 --> 00:24:24,002
Either way, it seemed like a lot

746
00:24:24,069 --> 00:24:25,086
Of killing over a very small

747
00:24:25,171 --> 00:24:29,073
Amount of money.

748
00:24:45,824 --> 00:24:47,859
♪

749
00:24:47,927 --> 00:24:54,465
>> don't you go round and round

750
00:24:54,533 --> 00:24:55,733
To rero.

751
00:24:55,801 --> 00:24:56,267
>> next Sunday --

752
00:24:56,335 --> 00:24:57,835
[ muttering ]

753
00:24:57,903 --> 00:24:59,404
>> what?

754
00:24:59,471 --> 00:25:00,972
♪

755
00:25:31,979 --> 00:25:36,382
>>> in medieval England it was

756
00:25:36,450 --> 00:25:37,417
Customary for kings to employ a

757
00:25:37,484 --> 00:25:38,551
Royal taster.

758
00:25:38,619 --> 00:25:39,585
These brave souls would try all

759
00:25:39,653 --> 00:25:40,319
Of the monarch's food to ensure

760
00:25:40,387 --> 00:25:41,154
It contained no poison.

761
00:25:41,221 --> 00:25:42,755
Our story takes place in the

762
00:25:42,823 --> 00:25:45,992
Court of king reginald.

763
00:25:46,059 --> 00:25:47,393
>> king reginald, thank you so

764
00:25:47,461 --> 00:25:48,461
Much for choosing me to be your

765
00:25:48,529 --> 00:25:49,495
Royal taster.

766
00:25:49,563 --> 00:25:50,563
>> what can I say, I am a man of

767
00:25:50,631 --> 00:25:53,499
Great taste.

768
00:25:53,567 --> 00:25:54,534
>> very funny.

769
00:25:54,601 --> 00:25:56,836
>> thank you.

770
00:25:56,904 --> 00:25:58,037
It's nice to hear a kind word

771
00:25:58,105 --> 00:25:58,771
After a day of receiving death

772
00:25:58,839 --> 00:26:00,773
Threats.

773
00:26:00,841 --> 00:26:01,808
>> death threats?

774
00:26:01,875 --> 00:26:04,944
>> yes.

775
00:26:05,012 --> 00:26:07,046
I'm a very unpopular king, but

776
00:26:07,114 --> 00:26:08,648
Fear not, we're quite safe here.

777
00:26:08,715 --> 00:26:10,149
>> that's good.

778
00:26:10,217 --> 00:26:11,717
>> yes.

779
00:26:11,785 --> 00:26:12,785
I have no enemies within these

780
00:26:12,853 --> 00:26:15,822
Walls.

781
00:26:15,889 --> 00:26:19,492
Chef!

782
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,660
Get your fat, ignorant ass in

783
00:26:20,727 --> 00:26:21,727
Here!

784
00:26:21,795 --> 00:26:26,933
[ laughter ]

785
00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:27,967
>> what do you want now, you

786
00:26:28,035 --> 00:26:30,069
Monster?

787
00:26:30,137 --> 00:26:31,103
>> why is your chef so angry

788
00:26:31,171 --> 00:26:34,240
With you?

789
00:26:34,308 --> 00:26:36,008
>> oh, last night's beef was a

790
00:26:36,076 --> 00:26:37,810
Little tough, so I had his

791
00:26:37,878 --> 00:26:42,782
Family killed.

792
00:26:42,850 --> 00:26:43,783
>> and this gentleman prepares

793
00:26:43,851 --> 00:26:45,952
All your food?

794
00:26:46,019 --> 00:26:46,519
>> yes.

795
00:26:46,587 --> 00:26:50,022
The ones you'll be tasting.

796
00:26:50,090 --> 00:26:53,125
Chef, pretend you have a brain,

797
00:26:53,193 --> 00:26:54,227
And bring me some beet soup

798
00:26:54,294 --> 00:26:55,728
Because that's all you're good

799
00:26:55,796 --> 00:26:57,330
For!

800
00:26:57,397 --> 00:26:58,865
>> you've been riding me for

801
00:26:58,932 --> 00:27:01,000
Years.

802
00:27:01,068 --> 00:27:02,101
Every day pushing me closer and

803
00:27:02,169 --> 00:27:03,402
Closer to the edge!

804
00:27:03,470 --> 00:27:04,203
Oh, I'll get you your beet soup,

805
00:27:04,271 --> 00:27:05,638
And it's going to be a meal to

806
00:27:05,706 --> 00:27:06,873
Die for!

807
00:27:06,940 --> 00:27:12,578
[ light laughter ]

808
00:27:12,646 --> 00:27:15,348
>> sounds tasty.

809
00:27:15,415 --> 00:27:16,249
>> king, I think the chef means

810
00:27:16,316 --> 00:27:17,283
To poison you.

811
00:27:17,351 --> 00:27:18,451
>> oh, no.

812
00:27:18,519 --> 00:27:20,019
Don't worry about that.

813
00:27:20,087 --> 00:27:22,021
He's all bluster.

814
00:27:22,089 --> 00:27:23,189
Isn't that right, you ass-mouth

815
00:27:23,257 --> 00:27:31,430
Chef?

816
00:27:31,498 --> 00:27:32,431
You don't have the stones to

817
00:27:32,499 --> 00:27:34,333
Challenge me.

818
00:27:34,401 --> 00:27:36,502
Oh, sure, you may be my cousin,

819
00:27:36,570 --> 00:27:41,207
Who's next in line to be king.

820
00:27:41,275 --> 00:27:45,845
Meaning if I die, you instantly

821
00:27:45,913 --> 00:27:49,048
Become king, but right now

822
00:27:49,116 --> 00:27:50,082
You're nothing but a cowardly

823
00:27:50,150 --> 00:27:55,421
Chef!

824
00:27:55,489 --> 00:27:57,557
See, I humiliate you.

825
00:27:57,624 --> 00:27:58,257
I mock you with the bread you

826
00:27:58,325 --> 00:28:02,628
Bake!

827
00:28:02,696 --> 00:28:04,297
>> oh, I'm going to poison you!

828
00:28:04,364 --> 00:28:07,166
I'm going to put poison in your

829
00:28:07,234 --> 00:28:08,601
Food, and you are going to die

830
00:28:08,669 --> 00:28:10,570
From the poison!

831
00:28:10,637 --> 00:28:11,604
>> wow.

832
00:28:11,672 --> 00:28:12,305
He just came out and said it

833
00:28:12,372 --> 00:28:12,772
There.

834
00:28:12,839 --> 00:28:15,775
>> sorry?

835
00:28:15,842 --> 00:28:16,175
Oh, come on.

836
00:28:16,243 --> 00:28:18,144
Relax.

837
00:28:18,211 --> 00:28:20,279
What's the worst he could do?

838
00:28:20,347 --> 00:28:22,348
>> feed us poison.

839
00:28:22,416 --> 00:28:23,482
>> I think you're being a bit

840
00:28:23,550 --> 00:28:27,920
Paranoid.

841
00:28:27,988 --> 00:28:31,123
Oh, goody, soup.

842
00:28:31,191 --> 00:28:32,058
Be a lamb and taste it, will

843
00:28:32,125 --> 00:28:38,331
You?

844
00:28:38,398 --> 00:28:40,433
Wait!

845
00:28:40,500 --> 00:28:42,501
You can't eat this.

846
00:28:42,569 --> 00:28:44,804
>> oh, thank god.

847
00:28:44,871 --> 00:28:46,872
>> no, it still needs salt.

848
00:28:46,940 --> 00:28:53,646
Salt it, you moron!

849
00:28:53,714 --> 00:28:55,414
>> oh!

850
00:28:55,482 --> 00:29:07,426
[ laughter ]

851
00:29:07,494 --> 00:29:09,895
>> that's very obviously poison.

852
00:29:09,963 --> 00:29:11,897
>> oh, calm down, taster.

853
00:29:11,965 --> 00:29:12,632
I think you're being rather

854
00:29:12,699 --> 00:29:15,534
Cynical.

855
00:29:15,602 --> 00:29:17,837
>> choke it down, you devil!

856
00:29:17,904 --> 00:29:22,174
Choke it down and eat it.

857
00:29:22,242 --> 00:29:25,144
Oh, I'm sorry, you first.

858
00:29:25,212 --> 00:29:26,812
>> you know what?

859
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:28,848
It's actually very good.

860
00:29:28,915 --> 00:29:34,553
There's a subtle hint of --

861
00:29:34,621 --> 00:29:35,554
>> chef?

862
00:29:35,622 --> 00:29:37,089
>> hmm?

863
00:29:37,157 --> 00:29:38,124
>> did you just try to poison

864
00:29:38,191 --> 00:29:40,226
Me?

865
00:29:40,293 --> 00:29:43,329
>> I'll never tell.

866
00:29:43,397 --> 00:29:44,897
>> oh, you cheeky, chef.

867
00:29:44,965 --> 00:29:47,466
You're the best in the biz.

868
00:29:47,534 --> 00:29:52,672
Bring me another t-t-t-t-taster.

869
00:29:52,739 --> 00:29:53,739
>> this has been "the king's

870
00:29:53,807 --> 00:29:54,774
Speech."

871
00:29:54,841 --> 00:29:56,342
Now you can say you saw it.

872
00:30:25,097 --> 00:30:25,863
>>> ladies and gentlemen, chris

873
00:30:25,931 --> 00:30:28,466
Brown!

874
00:30:28,534 --> 00:30:31,836
[ cheers and applause ]

875
00:30:33,272 --> 00:30:49,554
♪

876
00:30:50,956 --> 00:30:55,193
♪

877
00:30:57,129 --> 00:30:58,563
♪ move your body

878
00:30:58,630 --> 00:31:00,698
Out on the floor

879
00:31:00,766 --> 00:31:02,133
Put your troubles aside

880
00:31:02,201 --> 00:31:05,369
And start living ♪

881
00:31:05,437 --> 00:31:07,472
♪ anybody can let go

882
00:31:07,539 --> 00:31:08,506
Throw away all your problems

883
00:31:08,574 --> 00:31:09,474
Cause right now it's

884
00:31:09,541 --> 00:31:12,110
Party time ♪

885
00:31:12,177 --> 00:31:15,213
♪ girl don't feel outta place

886
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:16,814
Cause I, I'm in love with

887
00:31:16,882 --> 00:31:22,019
This feeling now

888
00:31:22,087 --> 00:31:23,087
And I hope that this will ♪

889
00:31:23,155 --> 00:31:24,655
♪ last a while

890
00:31:24,723 --> 00:31:25,690
We should make it

891
00:31:25,758 --> 00:31:27,191
Last a while

892
00:31:27,259 --> 00:31:28,760
You like to drink ♪

893
00:31:28,827 --> 00:31:30,428
♪ so do we

894
00:31:30,496 --> 00:31:31,996
Get more bottles

895
00:31:32,064 --> 00:31:33,564
Bring 'em to me

896
00:31:33,632 --> 00:31:35,666
Hold your glasses up ♪

897
00:31:35,734 --> 00:31:38,269
♪ people everywhere

898
00:31:38,337 --> 00:31:39,337
Now everybody put your

899
00:31:39,404 --> 00:31:41,405
Hands in the air say

900
00:31:41,473 --> 00:31:42,974
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

901
00:31:43,041 --> 00:31:44,575
♪ girl I wanna

902
00:31:44,643 --> 00:31:46,043
Yeah, yeah, yeah

903
00:31:46,111 --> 00:31:47,578
I wanna see you tonight

904
00:31:47,646 --> 00:31:50,648
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

905
00:31:50,716 --> 00:31:51,716
♪ girl I gotta, I gotta

906
00:31:51,784 --> 00:31:53,251
I gotta

907
00:31:53,318 --> 00:31:56,487
I gotta see you tonight ♪

908
00:31:57,356 --> 00:32:02,093
♪

909
00:32:02,161 --> 00:32:03,661
♪ oh oh, let me see ♪

910
00:32:03,729 --> 00:32:05,763
Your hands ♪

911
00:32:05,831 --> 00:32:08,866
♪

912
00:32:08,934 --> 00:32:09,934
♪ oh oh, tonight is the night

913
00:32:10,002 --> 00:32:11,502
All the pretty young ♪

914
00:32:11,570 --> 00:32:13,070
♪ things in the party

915
00:32:13,138 --> 00:32:14,672
Let me see your hands up

916
00:32:14,740 --> 00:32:16,240
And if they mad and they

917
00:32:16,308 --> 00:32:17,809
Don't wanna party ♪

918
00:32:17,876 --> 00:32:19,911
♪ so dj turn

919
00:32:19,978 --> 00:32:21,479
And watch me turn it up

920
00:32:21,547 --> 00:32:22,547
Don't worry bout it we

921
00:32:22,614 --> 00:32:24,615
Here to party ♪

922
00:32:24,683 --> 00:32:30,888
♪ so jump, jump, jump, jump

923
00:32:30,956 --> 00:32:32,456
Girl I gotta, I gotta

924
00:32:32,524 --> 00:32:33,424
I gotta

925
00:32:33,492 --> 00:32:39,163
I gotta see you tonight ♪

926
00:32:39,231 --> 00:32:42,800
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah

927
00:32:42,868 --> 00:32:46,470
Yeah, yeah, yeah

928
00:32:46,538 --> 00:32:51,175
Yeah, yeah, yeah

929
00:32:51,243 --> 00:32:53,177
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

930
00:32:53,245 --> 00:32:59,450
♪ tonight is the night

931
00:32:59,518 --> 00:33:06,757
Tonight is the night

932
00:33:06,825 --> 00:33:09,360
Tonight is the night ♪

933
00:33:09,428 --> 00:33:16,267
[ cheers and applause ]

934
00:33:27,028 --> 00:33:27,828
>>> "weekend update with seth

935
00:33:27,895 --> 00:33:28,862
Meyers."

936
00:33:28,930 --> 00:33:32,099
[ cheers and applause ]

937
00:33:32,166 --> 00:33:33,133
>> good evening.

938
00:33:33,201 --> 00:33:33,667
I'm seth meyers.

939
00:33:33,735 --> 00:33:34,701
And here are tonight's top

940
00:33:34,769 --> 00:33:37,871
Stories.

941
00:33:37,939 --> 00:33:40,407
>>> history was made Friday when

942
00:33:40,475 --> 00:33:41,374
Egyptian president hosni mubarak

943
00:33:41,442 --> 00:33:42,409
Bowed to pressure from peaceful

944
00:33:42,477 --> 00:33:43,477
Protesters and stepped down from

945
00:33:43,544 --> 00:33:45,045
Office.

946
00:33:45,113 --> 00:33:46,079
No word what he will do next but

947
00:33:46,147 --> 00:33:47,147
There's really only one job

948
00:33:47,215 --> 00:33:48,181
Available for an 82-year-old

949
00:33:48,249 --> 00:33:49,750
Man.

950
00:33:49,817 --> 00:33:58,759
[ laughter ]

951
00:33:58,826 --> 00:33:59,793
This week was the conservative

952
00:33:59,861 --> 00:34:01,361
Political action conference or

953
00:34:01,429 --> 00:34:02,295
Cpac, an annual meeting of

954
00:34:02,363 --> 00:34:02,996
Conservative politicians and

955
00:34:03,064 --> 00:34:03,830
Activists or as some call it tea

956
00:34:03,898 --> 00:34:04,865
Party comic-con.

957
00:34:04,932 --> 00:34:09,169
[ laughter ]

958
00:34:09,237 --> 00:34:10,170
Dick cheney made a surprise

959
00:34:10,238 --> 00:34:11,238
Appearance at the cpac Thursday

960
00:34:11,305 --> 00:34:12,305
To present donald rumsfeld with

961
00:34:12,373 --> 00:34:13,073
The defender of the constitution

962
00:34:13,141 --> 00:34:14,374
Award.

963
00:34:14,442 --> 00:34:15,442
And if you're wondering, yes,

964
00:34:15,510 --> 00:34:16,376
The irony was lost on them.

965
00:34:16,444 --> 00:34:19,513
[ laughter ]

966
00:34:19,580 --> 00:34:21,014
Representative christopher lee,

967
00:34:21,082 --> 00:34:22,582
A married congressman from new

968
00:34:22,650 --> 00:34:24,684
York state, abruptly resigned

969
00:34:24,752 --> 00:34:26,253
His seat on Wednesday after the

970
00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:27,821
Website gawker posted shirtless

971
00:34:27,889 --> 00:34:28,889
Pictures he took of himself and

972
00:34:28,956 --> 00:34:29,923
Sent to a woman he met on

973
00:34:29,991 --> 00:34:31,525
Craigslist.

974
00:34:31,592 --> 00:34:32,559
Eh, say what you will about

975
00:34:32,627 --> 00:34:33,627
Hosni mubarak, but at least you

976
00:34:33,694 --> 00:34:34,361
Don't know what his nipples look

977
00:34:34,428 --> 00:34:35,228
Like.

978
00:34:35,296 --> 00:34:38,431
[ laughter ]

979
00:34:38,499 --> 00:34:39,900
Also, nothing looks more rent

980
00:34:39,967 --> 00:34:40,934
Than having the phone in the

981
00:34:41,002 --> 00:34:43,570
Dirty picture you're taking.

982
00:34:43,638 --> 00:34:45,272
Here is my idea.

983
00:34:45,339 --> 00:34:46,606
An app that automatically

984
00:34:46,674 --> 00:34:47,374
Replaces the phone in your dirty

985
00:34:47,441 --> 00:34:49,342
Pictures.

986
00:34:49,410 --> 00:34:50,410
For example, isn't this picture

987
00:34:50,478 --> 00:34:51,444
Better with a fan?

988
00:34:51,512 --> 00:34:52,913
[ laughter ]

989
00:34:52,980 --> 00:34:53,947
Or how about a shake weight?

990
00:34:54,015 --> 00:34:56,183
[ laughter ]

991
00:34:56,250 --> 00:34:58,552
How about an elmo puppet?

992
00:34:58,619 --> 00:34:58,985
[ laughter ]

993
00:34:59,053 --> 00:35:00,620
Actually it's way worse with the

994
00:35:00,688 --> 00:35:02,222
Elmo puppet, don't do that.

995
00:35:02,290 --> 00:35:03,423
>>> this Sunday's super bowl was

996
00:35:03,491 --> 00:35:05,058
The most watched show ever on

997
00:35:05,126 --> 00:35:07,160
Television with a record 111

998
00:35:07,228 --> 00:35:09,329
Million viewers or as christina

999
00:35:09,397 --> 00:35:10,530
Aguilera was reassured, hardly

1000
00:35:10,598 --> 00:35:17,304
Anyone.

1001
00:35:17,371 --> 00:35:20,106
>>> on Friday after 18 days of

1002
00:35:20,174 --> 00:35:21,174
Protests egyptian president

1003
00:35:21,242 --> 00:35:23,109
Hosni mubarak finally stepped

1004
00:35:23,177 --> 00:35:23,410
Down.

1005
00:35:23,477 --> 00:35:25,045
Here to give us his version of

1006
00:35:25,112 --> 00:35:31,117
Events, hosni, mubarak.

1007
00:35:31,185 --> 00:35:33,119
>> hello, hello.

1008
00:35:33,187 --> 00:35:34,154
>> solt how are things?

1009
00:35:34,222 --> 00:35:35,322
>> not great, seth.

1010
00:35:35,389 --> 00:35:36,489
30 years in power and all I have

1011
00:35:36,557 --> 00:35:38,992
To show for it is $70 billion of

1012
00:35:39,060 --> 00:35:39,893
The egyptian people's money.

1013
00:35:39,961 --> 00:35:42,529
[ laughter ]

1014
00:35:42,597 --> 00:35:43,864
Hsk, my friends, seth.

1015
00:35:43,931 --> 00:35:45,799
I have made so many friends.

1016
00:35:45,867 --> 00:35:47,801
People were so sad to see me go.

1017
00:35:47,869 --> 00:35:49,035
>> I don't know if that was the

1018
00:35:49,103 --> 00:35:49,536
Case.

1019
00:35:49,604 --> 00:35:50,737
Now, many expected you were

1020
00:35:50,805 --> 00:35:52,138
Going to resign on Thursday.

1021
00:35:52,206 --> 00:35:54,174
Instead you gave a very defiant

1022
00:35:54,242 --> 00:35:55,809
Speech saying you would stay in

1023
00:35:55,877 --> 00:35:56,142
Power.

1024
00:35:56,210 --> 00:35:57,043
What was your plan there?

1025
00:35:57,111 --> 00:35:58,378
>> my plan was simple.

1026
00:35:58,446 --> 00:36:00,180
I will say, I hear your

1027
00:36:00,248 --> 00:36:02,182
Complaints, I am proud of you,

1028
00:36:02,250 --> 00:36:02,816
And, therefore, I am not

1029
00:36:02,884 --> 00:36:04,417
Resigning.

1030
00:36:04,485 --> 00:36:08,355
Basically I was trying the old

1031
00:36:08,422 --> 00:36:09,356
Jedi mind trick.

1032
00:36:09,423 --> 00:36:10,390
It turned out I was the droid

1033
00:36:10,458 --> 00:36:16,663
They were looking for.

1034
00:36:16,731 --> 00:36:19,165
>> so you resigned on Friday.

1035
00:36:19,233 --> 00:36:20,734
It must have been very hard for

1036
00:36:20,801 --> 00:36:23,470
You.

1037
00:36:23,537 --> 00:36:23,870
>> it was.

1038
00:36:23,938 --> 00:36:26,273
My secretary of 30 years said to

1039
00:36:26,340 --> 00:36:27,908
Me, she took my hands and looked

1040
00:36:27,975 --> 00:36:29,376
Me in the eyes and said, you

1041
00:36:29,443 --> 00:36:33,179
Have raped this country.

1042
00:36:33,247 --> 00:36:35,448
May the jackal headed god anubis

1043
00:36:35,516 --> 00:36:37,083
Feast on your entrails in hell.

1044
00:36:37,151 --> 00:36:37,851
It was very sweet.

1045
00:36:37,919 --> 00:36:42,289
>> sounds like she was angry.

1046
00:36:42,356 --> 00:36:43,757
And now the report the swiss

1047
00:36:43,824 --> 00:36:44,424
Bank has frozen your funds.

1048
00:36:44,492 --> 00:36:47,160
>> I know!

1049
00:36:47,228 --> 00:36:47,594
[ laughter ]

1050
00:36:47,662 --> 00:36:49,095
Can you believe it, seth?

1051
00:36:49,163 --> 00:36:50,430
They said we think you may have

1052
00:36:50,498 --> 00:36:53,233
Come by your money illegally.

1053
00:36:53,301 --> 00:36:56,536
And I was like, duh!

1054
00:36:56,604 --> 00:36:57,671
Of course I came by it

1055
00:36:57,738 --> 00:36:58,071
Illegally.

1056
00:36:58,139 --> 00:36:59,439
Why do you think I put it in a

1057
00:36:59,507 --> 00:37:02,175
Swiss bank?

1058
00:37:02,243 --> 00:37:05,211
I am not swiss.

1059
00:37:05,279 --> 00:37:07,247
I didn't do it for the

1060
00:37:07,315 --> 00:37:08,648
Convenient atm locations.

1061
00:37:08,716 --> 00:37:10,050
I should have listened to my

1062
00:37:10,117 --> 00:37:11,818
Grant father who said always

1063
00:37:11,886 --> 00:37:15,588
Bury your money in a sarcophagus

1064
00:37:15,656 --> 00:37:16,589
Under a pyramid.

1065
00:37:16,657 --> 00:37:17,557
>> well, I do want to thank you

1066
00:37:17,625 --> 00:37:18,491
For stopping by.

1067
00:37:18,559 --> 00:37:20,260
>> before I go I want to take a

1068
00:37:20,328 --> 00:37:22,462
Moment to thank the american

1069
00:37:22,530 --> 00:37:22,796
People.

1070
00:37:22,863 --> 00:37:23,663
>> you don't have do that.

1071
00:37:23,731 --> 00:37:24,531
>> yes, I do.

1072
00:37:24,598 --> 00:37:25,665
Important to me, seth.

1073
00:37:25,733 --> 00:37:27,801
Bring the camera in a little, a

1074
00:37:27,868 --> 00:37:30,603
Little closer.

1075
00:37:30,671 --> 00:37:31,171
America, thank you.

1076
00:37:31,238 --> 00:37:33,606
You propped up my regime for

1077
00:37:33,674 --> 00:37:34,708
Over 30 years.

1078
00:37:34,775 --> 00:37:35,775
I could never have done it

1079
00:37:35,843 --> 00:37:38,712
Without all of your money and

1080
00:37:38,779 --> 00:37:41,014
Support and tear gas.

1081
00:37:41,082 --> 00:37:42,649
You know what they say, seth,

1082
00:37:42,717 --> 00:37:43,850
Behind every horrible dictator

1083
00:37:43,918 --> 00:37:48,054
Is an enabling super power.

1084
00:37:48,122 --> 00:37:48,488
America --

1085
00:37:48,556 --> 00:37:50,256
♪ you are the wind beneath my

1086
00:37:50,324 --> 00:37:52,759
Wings ♪

1087
00:37:52,827 --> 00:37:54,861
>> definitely, you don't have to

1088
00:37:54,929 --> 00:37:55,729
Tell people that about us.

1089
00:37:55,796 --> 00:37:57,197
>> I'm not done, seth.

1090
00:37:57,264 --> 00:37:59,332
Was I perfect?

1091
00:37:59,400 --> 00:37:59,599
No.

1092
00:37:59,667 --> 00:38:00,400
Did I do my best?

1093
00:38:00,468 --> 00:38:05,438
I did not.

1094
00:38:05,506 --> 00:38:08,641
Did I care about my people?

1095
00:38:08,709 --> 00:38:09,509
Not really.

1096
00:38:09,577 --> 00:38:09,976
[ laughter ]

1097
00:38:10,044 --> 00:38:12,812
Did I steal at every

1098
00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,214
Opportunity?

1099
00:38:14,281 --> 00:38:14,914
You bet.

1100
00:38:14,982 --> 00:38:16,883
I think I lost my train of

1101
00:38:16,951 --> 00:38:17,250
Thought.

1102
00:38:17,318 --> 00:38:17,650
[ laughter ]

1103
00:38:17,718 --> 00:38:25,191
>> hosni mubarak, everybody!

1104
00:38:25,259 --> 00:38:27,360
>>> it was announced month that

1105
00:38:27,428 --> 00:38:29,729
Aol is buying "the huffington

1106
00:38:29,797 --> 00:38:30,930
Post" website for $315 million.

1107
00:38:30,998 --> 00:38:33,199
A spokesman for aol was quoted

1108
00:38:33,267 --> 00:38:34,300
As saying --

1109
00:38:34,368 --> 00:38:41,941
[ modem sounds ]

1110
00:38:42,009 --> 00:38:43,543
According to reports iran's

1111
00:38:43,611 --> 00:38:45,645
Government has banned iranian tv

1112
00:38:45,713 --> 00:38:46,679
Channels from showing cooking

1113
00:38:46,747 --> 00:38:47,847
Programs that present recipes

1114
00:38:47,915 --> 00:38:50,083
For foreign cuisine.

1115
00:38:50,151 --> 00:38:53,253
So look for iran's newest

1116
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:57,190
Cooking show, hummus again?

1117
00:38:57,258 --> 00:38:59,259
It was announced Tuesday that

1118
00:38:59,326 --> 00:39:00,293
Keith olbermann will host a

1119
00:39:00,361 --> 00:39:01,361
Nightly prime time news and

1120
00:39:01,429 --> 00:39:02,829
Commentary show on current tv.

1121
00:39:02,897 --> 00:39:05,965
If you're not familiar current

1122
00:39:06,033 --> 00:39:07,033
Tv, it's a channel founded by al

1123
00:39:07,101 --> 00:39:07,567
Gore.

1124
00:39:07,635 --> 00:39:08,601
If you are familiar with current

1125
00:39:08,669 --> 00:39:09,636
Tv, congratulations on being al

1126
00:39:09,703 --> 00:39:10,703
Gore.

1127
00:39:10,771 --> 00:39:13,273
[ laughter ]

1128
00:39:13,340 --> 00:39:14,974
>>> a woman in England returned

1129
00:39:15,042 --> 00:39:16,543
A jack russell terrier that she

1130
00:39:16,610 --> 00:39:18,311
Had adopted from a shelter two

1131
00:39:18,379 --> 00:39:19,646
Days earlier because she said he

1132
00:39:19,713 --> 00:39:20,880
Clashed with her curtains.

1133
00:39:20,948 --> 00:39:22,682
And maybe don't let her take any

1134
00:39:22,750 --> 00:39:23,917
Other dogs home because it

1135
00:39:23,984 --> 00:39:24,684
Sounds like she might be making

1136
00:39:24,752 --> 00:39:31,224
A rug.

1137
00:39:31,292 --> 00:39:32,926
[ laughter ]

1138
00:39:32,993 --> 00:39:36,362
I'm protecting the dogs.

1139
00:39:36,430 --> 00:39:37,397
According to a new poll the two

1140
00:39:37,465 --> 00:39:38,465
Most popular super powers people

1141
00:39:38,532 --> 00:39:39,432
Want are the ability to time

1142
00:39:39,500 --> 00:39:40,467
Travel and read minds.

1143
00:39:40,534 --> 00:39:41,534
Said aqua man, so nobody went

1144
00:39:41,602 --> 00:39:42,569
For talking to fish?

1145
00:39:42,636 --> 00:39:44,270
[ laughter ]

1146
00:39:44,338 --> 00:39:47,006
Your loss.

1147
00:39:47,074 --> 00:39:47,740
They say some pretty interesting

1148
00:39:47,808 --> 00:39:49,375
Things.

1149
00:39:49,443 --> 00:39:50,410
If you need me, I will be at the

1150
00:39:50,478 --> 00:39:51,511
Bottom of the ocean.

1151
00:39:51,579 --> 00:40:00,820
[ laughter ]

1152
00:40:00,888 --> 00:40:01,888
Monday is valentine's day, and

1153
00:40:01,956 --> 00:40:02,922
Here to debut their new

1154
00:40:02,990 --> 00:40:03,857
Valentine's day single, please

1155
00:40:03,924 --> 00:40:04,924
Welcome lil wayne and eminem.

1156
00:40:04,992 --> 00:40:07,527
[ cheers and applause ]

1157
00:40:07,595 --> 00:40:09,629
>> yep.

1158
00:40:09,697 --> 00:40:10,663
Wez at a baby "snl."

1159
00:40:10,731 --> 00:40:15,735
Ya dig?

1160
00:40:15,803 --> 00:40:16,736
>> so you two have written a

1161
00:40:16,804 --> 00:40:18,505
Valentine's day song.

1162
00:40:18,572 --> 00:40:22,175
About valentine's day.

1163
00:40:22,243 --> 00:40:23,209
>> yeah, seth.

1164
00:40:23,277 --> 00:40:24,344
It goes out to all the ladies.

1165
00:40:24,411 --> 00:40:25,411
>> okay.

1166
00:40:25,479 --> 00:40:26,880
Now, in the past some women have

1167
00:40:26,947 --> 00:40:27,914
Criticized you for what are

1168
00:40:27,982 --> 00:40:29,782
Considered misogynistic lyrics.

1169
00:40:29,850 --> 00:40:32,519
>> this is a song straight from

1170
00:40:32,586 --> 00:40:33,119
The heart.

1171
00:40:33,187 --> 00:40:34,721
We wrote it while drinking red

1172
00:40:34,788 --> 00:40:35,722
Wine and watching "the

1173
00:40:35,789 --> 00:40:37,524
Notebook."

1174
00:40:37,591 --> 00:40:39,959
[ laughter ]

1175
00:40:40,027 --> 00:40:41,060
>> so there's nothing offensive

1176
00:40:41,128 --> 00:40:42,829
In this song?

1177
00:40:42,897 --> 00:40:44,564
>> if there was we took it out.

1178
00:40:44,632 --> 00:40:45,031
>> all right.

1179
00:40:45,099 --> 00:40:46,633
So it's just a regular love

1180
00:40:46,700 --> 00:40:47,667
Song.

1181
00:40:47,735 --> 00:40:48,201
>> that's right.

1182
00:40:48,269 --> 00:40:49,369
Here we go.

1183
00:40:49,436 --> 00:40:52,639
This song is called "softer."

1184
00:40:52,706 --> 00:40:53,239
>> that's a nice title.

1185
00:40:53,307 --> 00:40:59,145
I like it.

1186
00:40:59,213 --> 00:41:00,713
♪ yeah, love your body, girl I'm

1187
00:41:00,781 --> 00:41:01,881
Just love struck ♪

1188
00:41:01,949 --> 00:41:02,916
♪ so let's go home ♪

1189
00:41:02,983 --> 00:41:06,853
♪ it's time to -- ♪

1190
00:41:06,921 --> 00:41:09,856
♪ baby let's cruise on my love

1191
00:41:09,924 --> 00:41:10,223
Boat ♪

1192
00:41:10,291 --> 00:41:12,358
♪ if not I'm gonna -- your

1193
00:41:12,426 --> 00:41:14,861
Throat ♪

1194
00:41:14,929 --> 00:41:15,328
>> whoa.

1195
00:41:15,396 --> 00:41:16,262
Stop you right there.

1196
00:41:16,330 --> 00:41:18,898
Even though there are words

1197
00:41:18,966 --> 00:41:20,867
Missing, I still get the feeling

1198
00:41:20,935 --> 00:41:22,335
Women won't be too happy about

1199
00:41:22,403 --> 00:41:23,036
This valentine's day song.

1200
00:41:23,103 --> 00:41:23,369
>> huh?

1201
00:41:23,437 --> 00:41:24,904
>> in the last lyric even though

1202
00:41:24,972 --> 00:41:26,439
You didn't actually say it I'm

1203
00:41:26,507 --> 00:41:27,640
Pretty sure you were going do

1204
00:41:27,708 --> 00:41:29,742
Something bad to a lady's

1205
00:41:29,810 --> 00:41:30,076
Throat.

1206
00:41:30,144 --> 00:41:31,277
>> I mean, I could have been

1207
00:41:31,345 --> 00:41:32,111
Kissing on her threat.

1208
00:41:32,179 --> 00:41:33,713
>> were you kissing on her

1209
00:41:33,781 --> 00:41:34,047
Throat?

1210
00:41:34,114 --> 00:41:38,451
>> maybe.

1211
00:41:38,519 --> 00:41:39,652
>> I'm pretty sure women aren't

1212
00:41:39,720 --> 00:41:40,653
Going to like this song.

1213
00:41:40,721 --> 00:41:42,855
>> come on, seth, we're trying

1214
00:41:42,923 --> 00:41:44,557
Really hard to be nice.

1215
00:41:44,625 --> 00:41:46,993
Just listen to em's verse.

1216
00:41:47,061 --> 00:41:47,460
>> I'd love to.

1217
00:41:47,528 --> 00:41:54,367
Hit it.

1218
00:41:54,435 --> 00:41:57,604
♪ happy valentine ♪

1219
00:41:57,671 --> 00:42:01,975
♪ in my trunk

1220
00:42:02,042 --> 00:42:04,978
Ain't going to buy you chocolate

1221
00:42:05,045 --> 00:42:07,146
Or a picture in a market from

1222
00:42:07,214 --> 00:42:09,148
Target ♪

1223
00:42:09,216 --> 00:42:10,083
>> no, no, no.

1224
00:42:10,150 --> 00:42:13,453
Hold on.

1225
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:17,991
[ cheers and applause ]

1226
00:42:18,058 --> 00:42:20,260
>> there is no nice thing to say

1227
00:42:20,327 --> 00:42:25,965
To a woman that ends in night.

1228
00:42:26,033 --> 00:42:29,636
>> chocolate cake or brownie.

1229
00:42:29,703 --> 00:42:31,638
>> were you willing to get her

1230
00:42:31,705 --> 00:42:35,074
Chocolate cake or brownies?

1231
00:42:35,142 --> 00:42:36,242
I don't want to hear this

1232
00:42:36,310 --> 00:42:36,609
Anymore.

1233
00:42:36,677 --> 00:42:38,011
>> come on, seth.

1234
00:42:38,078 --> 00:42:40,013
Give us another chance.

1235
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,981
There's nothing in the chorus

1236
00:42:42,049 --> 00:42:43,049
That's offensive.

1237
00:42:43,117 --> 00:42:44,517
>> do you promise?

1238
00:42:44,585 --> 00:42:45,451
>> cross my wheezy heart.

1239
00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:59,899
Here we go.

1240
00:42:59,967 --> 00:43:04,137
♪ in a car

1241
00:43:04,204 --> 00:43:07,640
And your mama too ♪

1242
00:43:07,708 --> 00:43:09,242
>> no, no, that is enough.

1243
00:43:09,310 --> 00:43:19,485
[ cheers and applause ]

1244
00:43:19,553 --> 00:43:22,455
>>> a doctor in colorado is

1245
00:43:22,523 --> 00:43:23,556
Converted two trailers into

1246
00:43:23,624 --> 00:43:25,858
Mobile doctors offices to help

1247
00:43:25,926 --> 00:43:26,893
Dispense medical marijuana to

1248
00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:28,294
Patients in rural areas.

1249
00:43:28,362 --> 00:43:31,798
Wait, I'm sorry, I read that

1250
00:43:31,865 --> 00:43:32,131
Wrong.

1251
00:43:32,199 --> 00:43:33,633
Some guy in colorado is selling

1252
00:43:33,701 --> 00:43:37,970
Weed out of a trailer.

1253
00:43:38,038 --> 00:43:39,005
A woman in queens, new york,

1254
00:43:39,073 --> 00:43:39,972
Says she was shocked when she

1255
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:41,140
Played a diego cartoon dvd that

1256
00:43:41,208 --> 00:43:42,208
She bought at a local toys "r"

1257
00:43:42,276 --> 00:43:43,242
Us for her son and it turned out

1258
00:43:43,310 --> 00:43:44,310
To be a porn movie titled

1259
00:43:44,378 --> 00:43:45,345
"bubble butt bonanza 17."

1260
00:43:45,412 --> 00:43:46,379
[ laughter ]

1261
00:43:46,447 --> 00:43:48,314
Too bad she wasn't patient.

1262
00:43:48,382 --> 00:43:49,582
At the 14 in my opinion mark

1263
00:43:49,650 --> 00:43:51,384
Diego shows up.

1264
00:43:51,452 --> 00:43:53,019
[ laughter ]

1265
00:43:53,087 --> 00:43:53,886
Did the anyone order a pizza con

1266
00:43:53,954 --> 00:43:54,854
Chorizo?

1267
00:43:54,922 --> 00:44:04,330
[ laughter ]

1268
00:44:04,398 --> 00:44:07,333
In an upcoming interview with

1269
00:44:07,401 --> 00:44:11,571
"60 minutes," lady gaga says

1270
00:44:11,638 --> 00:44:12,939
When she's with someone in bed,

1271
00:44:13,006 --> 00:44:14,340
They call her stephanie and not

1272
00:44:14,408 --> 00:44:15,041
By her stage name since that

1273
00:44:15,109 --> 00:44:17,143
Would freak her out.

1274
00:44:17,211 --> 00:44:17,877
I think the most surprising part

1275
00:44:17,945 --> 00:44:18,778
Of this story to me is that she

1276
00:44:18,846 --> 00:44:19,812
Has sex in a bed.

1277
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:20,847
[ laughter ]

1278
00:44:20,914 --> 00:44:21,914
Authorities in England have

1279
00:44:21,982 --> 00:44:22,582
Given permission to a local

1280
00:44:22,649 --> 00:44:23,383
Swimming pool to use energy from

1281
00:44:23,450 --> 00:44:24,217
The next door crematorium to

1282
00:44:24,284 --> 00:44:25,551
Heat its water.

1283
00:44:25,619 --> 00:44:26,619
They just have to get everyone

1284
00:44:26,687 --> 00:44:27,787
Out of the pool once in a while

1285
00:44:27,855 --> 00:44:28,788
To skim out the ghosts.

1286
00:44:28,856 --> 00:44:32,792
[ laughter ]

1287
00:44:32,860 --> 00:44:33,659
>>> on valentine's day thousands

1288
00:44:33,727 --> 00:44:35,528
Of new york couples will be

1289
00:44:35,596 --> 00:44:36,362
Stepping out to some of the

1290
00:44:36,430 --> 00:44:38,064
City's most romantic spots.

1291
00:44:38,132 --> 00:44:39,399
Here with some tips on where to

1292
00:44:39,466 --> 00:44:42,101
Go to make the evening truly

1293
00:44:42,169 --> 00:44:42,735
Unforgettable, our city

1294
00:44:42,803 --> 00:44:48,107
Correspondent, stephan.

1295
00:44:48,175 --> 00:44:51,344
[ cheers and applause ]

1296
00:44:51,412 --> 00:44:52,345
>> hi.

1297
00:44:52,413 --> 00:44:52,879
>> hi, stephan.

1298
00:44:52,946 --> 00:44:53,946
How have you been?

1299
00:44:54,014 --> 00:44:54,981
>> the same.

1300
00:44:55,048 --> 00:44:55,715
[ laughter ]

1301
00:44:55,783 --> 00:44:57,116
>> okay.

1302
00:44:57,184 --> 00:44:58,184
The weather has been crazy,

1303
00:44:58,252 --> 00:44:58,718
Right?

1304
00:44:58,786 --> 00:44:59,652
>> I know.

1305
00:44:59,720 --> 00:45:00,620
Everywhere I go it's like 100

1306
00:45:00,687 --> 00:45:01,654
Degrees.

1307
00:45:01,722 --> 00:45:05,458
[ laughter ]

1308
00:45:05,526 --> 00:45:07,260
>> right, right.

1309
00:45:07,327 --> 00:45:08,294
Now, stephan, lots of new york

1310
00:45:08,362 --> 00:45:09,896
Couples will be stepping out for

1311
00:45:09,963 --> 00:45:12,565
Valentine's day.

1312
00:45:12,633 --> 00:45:13,299
Where should they go if they

1313
00:45:13,367 --> 00:45:15,435
Want an evening to remember?

1314
00:45:15,502 --> 00:45:17,003
>> I have the perfect spot.

1315
00:45:17,070 --> 00:45:18,571
New york's hottest club is boof.

1316
00:45:18,639 --> 00:45:20,039
[ laughter ]

1317
00:45:20,107 --> 00:45:21,107
Located in an abandoned

1318
00:45:21,175 --> 00:45:22,742
Orphanage on the lower lower

1319
00:45:22,810 --> 00:45:24,343
East side of chelsea.

1320
00:45:24,411 --> 00:45:25,378
This round the clock puke party

1321
00:45:25,446 --> 00:45:26,446
Is the creation of narcoleptic

1322
00:45:26,513 --> 00:45:28,114
Club owner snoozen lucci.

1323
00:45:28,182 --> 00:45:29,582
[ laughter ]

1324
00:45:29,650 --> 00:45:32,185
And this place has everything.

1325
00:45:32,252 --> 00:45:35,321
Pugs, geezers, doo-wop groups, a

1326
00:45:35,389 --> 00:45:36,389
Wise old turtle that looks like

1327
00:45:36,457 --> 00:45:37,423
Quincy jones.

1328
00:45:37,491 --> 00:45:40,560
[ laughter ]

1329
00:45:40,627 --> 00:45:42,562
L and you'll have your own "when

1330
00:45:42,629 --> 00:45:44,163
Harry met sally" moment when you

1331
00:45:44,231 --> 00:45:45,231
Share a special kiss with

1332
00:45:45,299 --> 00:45:46,265
"gizblo the coked up gremlin."

1333
00:45:46,333 --> 00:45:48,234
[ laughter ]

1334
00:45:48,302 --> 00:45:52,405
[ gremlin noises ]

1335
00:45:52,473 --> 00:45:53,573
I'll have what she's having.

1336
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:57,009
[ laughter ]

1337
00:45:57,077 --> 00:45:58,244
>>> let me get a pen.

1338
00:45:58,312 --> 00:45:59,011
What was the name of that place

1339
00:45:59,079 --> 00:46:01,080
Again?

1340
00:46:01,148 --> 00:46:03,483
>> boof with nine "os."

1341
00:46:03,550 --> 00:46:05,084
>> got it.

1342
00:46:05,152 --> 00:46:05,685
Now I know that I will

1343
00:46:05,752 --> 00:46:08,187
Definitely not go there.

1344
00:46:08,255 --> 00:46:10,189
>> why not?

1345
00:46:10,257 --> 00:46:11,824
>> maybe I should be more

1346
00:46:11,892 --> 00:46:12,191
Specific.

1347
00:46:12,259 --> 00:46:13,292
Take me, for example.

1348
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:13,993
>> gladly.

1349
00:46:14,061 --> 00:46:15,461
>> I'm trying to find a place to

1350
00:46:15,529 --> 00:46:17,763
Take my serious girlfriend.

1351
00:46:17,831 --> 00:46:19,532
>> this always happens to me.

1352
00:46:19,600 --> 00:46:21,434
>> we've been dating for a

1353
00:46:21,502 --> 00:46:22,535
Couple years.

1354
00:46:22,603 --> 00:46:23,936
>> boy, do I know how to pick

1355
00:46:24,004 --> 00:46:24,237
Them.

1356
00:46:24,304 --> 00:46:25,605
>> I work so darn much.

1357
00:46:25,672 --> 00:46:26,973
>> you got to pay the bills.

1358
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,141
>> I just want Monday night to

1359
00:46:29,209 --> 00:46:29,842
Be special.

1360
00:46:29,910 --> 00:46:33,779
>> stephan to be rescue.

1361
00:46:33,847 --> 00:46:35,014
New york's hottest valentine's

1362
00:46:35,082 --> 00:46:42,288
Day club is -- by 90-year-old

1363
00:46:42,356 --> 00:46:46,692
Club promoter fuji houser md.

1364
00:46:46,760 --> 00:46:47,527
It has everything.

1365
00:46:47,594 --> 00:46:49,295
Stun guns, mall people, freezing

1366
00:46:49,363 --> 00:46:53,633
Cold air.

1367
00:46:53,700 --> 00:46:54,667
And this valentine's day, you

1368
00:46:54,735 --> 00:46:55,735
Can lose yourself on the dance

1369
00:46:55,802 --> 00:46:56,469
Floor surrounded by 12 dancing

1370
00:46:56,537 --> 00:46:57,236
Jupids.

1371
00:46:57,304 --> 00:46:58,271
>> jupids?

1372
00:46:58,338 --> 00:46:58,871
>> jewish cupids.

1373
00:46:58,939 --> 00:47:00,873
[ laughter ]

1374
00:47:00,941 --> 00:47:02,909
>> oh.

1375
00:47:02,976 --> 00:47:04,076
>> I just want you to meet

1376
00:47:04,144 --> 00:47:05,011
Someone nice and settle down.

1377
00:47:05,078 --> 00:47:14,754
[ laughter ]

1378
00:47:14,821 --> 00:47:17,924
>> I got to be honest.

1379
00:47:17,991 --> 00:47:18,291
>> what?

1380
00:47:18,358 --> 00:47:19,058
>> I don't think my girlfriend

1381
00:47:19,126 --> 00:47:20,393
Would like that.

1382
00:47:20,460 --> 00:47:21,460
>> you should probably break up

1383
00:47:21,528 --> 00:47:22,228
With her and do like a total 180

1384
00:47:22,296 --> 00:47:22,895
Or something.

1385
00:47:22,963 --> 00:47:23,930
>> no!

1386
00:47:23,997 --> 00:47:24,964
[ laughter ]

1387
00:47:25,032 --> 00:47:30,303
No, stephan.

1388
00:47:30,370 --> 00:47:31,871
Do you have any tips for how to

1389
00:47:31,939 --> 00:47:35,207
Have a simple romantic

1390
00:47:35,275 --> 00:47:37,577
Nonpsychotic valentine's day?

1391
00:47:37,644 --> 00:47:38,744
>> yes.

1392
00:47:38,812 --> 00:47:39,845
You don't need to leave the

1393
00:47:39,913 --> 00:47:40,146
House.

1394
00:47:40,213 --> 00:47:42,915
Just give the person you love a

1395
00:47:42,983 --> 00:47:43,649
Romantic valentine's day gift.

1396
00:47:43,717 --> 00:47:47,053
>> you mean like a box of

1397
00:47:47,120 --> 00:47:47,453
Chocolate?

1398
00:47:47,521 --> 00:47:48,788
>> no, like human suitcases.

1399
00:47:48,855 --> 00:47:49,989
>> what is a human suitcase?

1400
00:47:50,057 --> 00:47:52,458
>> it's a thing when a midget on

1401
00:47:52,526 --> 00:47:53,859
Roller skates wears all of your

1402
00:47:53,927 --> 00:47:55,094
Clothes and then you pull them

1403
00:47:55,162 --> 00:47:55,728
Through an airport.

1404
00:47:55,796 --> 00:48:02,134
[ laughter ]

1405
00:48:02,202 --> 00:48:09,909
>> staffan.

1406
00:48:09,977 --> 00:48:11,243
>> a human suitcase.

1407
00:48:11,311 --> 00:48:12,845
Would you give your valentine

1408
00:48:12,913 --> 00:48:13,813
One of those?

1409
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:15,214
>> stephan is single right now.

1410
00:48:15,282 --> 00:48:16,215
He doesn't have a valentine.

1411
00:48:16,283 --> 00:48:17,783
Oh!

1412
00:48:17,851 --> 00:48:20,186
>> oh!

1413
00:48:20,253 --> 00:48:21,721
>> well, maybe just for tonight,

1414
00:48:21,788 --> 00:48:23,756
And just for tonight, you can be

1415
00:48:23,824 --> 00:48:24,624
My valentine.

1416
00:48:24,691 --> 00:48:25,424
>> you mean it?

1417
00:48:25,492 --> 00:48:25,925
>> yeah.

1418
00:48:25,993 --> 00:48:31,297
I guess I got struck by jupids

1419
00:48:31,365 --> 00:48:31,597
Arrow.

1420
00:48:31,665 --> 00:48:34,834
[ cheers and applause ]

1421
00:48:51,383 --> 00:48:53,217
>>> welcome to livin' single.

1422
00:48:53,285 --> 00:48:54,151
She's the best-selling author,

1423
00:48:54,219 --> 00:48:55,186
And she did it all without a

1424
00:48:55,253 --> 00:48:56,754
Man.

1425
00:48:56,822 --> 00:48:58,856
Ladies and gentlemen,

1426
00:48:58,924 --> 00:49:00,424
Dena deanglo is living single!

1427
00:49:00,492 --> 00:49:07,231
[ cheers and applause ]

1428
00:49:07,299 --> 00:49:08,799
♪ simple kind of girl in a

1429
00:49:08,867 --> 00:49:16,307
Simple kind of world ♪

1430
00:49:16,374 --> 00:49:17,575
>> thank you.

1431
00:49:17,642 --> 00:49:20,044
Single and loving it.

1432
00:49:20,111 --> 00:49:21,378
Say hi.

1433
00:49:21,446 --> 00:49:30,254
>> hi.

1434
00:49:30,322 --> 00:49:31,822
Guys, whether you're a widow, a

1435
00:49:31,890 --> 00:49:32,523
Divorcee, a single military

1436
00:49:32,591 --> 00:49:33,390
Personnel or a solo girl who

1437
00:49:33,458 --> 00:49:34,024
Just don't give a dang --

1438
00:49:34,092 --> 00:49:34,859
This show is for you.

1439
00:49:34,926 --> 00:49:35,926
Right, guys?

1440
00:49:35,994 --> 00:49:37,661
[ cheers and applause ]

1441
00:49:37,729 --> 00:49:38,395
Single and loving it thanks to

1442
00:49:38,463 --> 00:49:39,463
You.

1443
00:49:39,531 --> 00:49:40,531
>> I left my husband and now I'm

1444
00:49:40,599 --> 00:49:41,565
Single and stronger.

1445
00:49:41,633 --> 00:49:43,067
>> are you so happy?

1446
00:49:43,134 --> 00:49:45,769
>> almost.

1447
00:49:45,837 --> 00:49:48,539
>> dj terry, I see you.

1448
00:49:48,607 --> 00:49:51,242
>> you're changing lives, dena.

1449
00:49:51,309 --> 00:49:53,310
>> you are such a good friend.

1450
00:49:53,378 --> 00:49:54,578
You know, dj terry has asked me

1451
00:49:54,646 --> 00:49:56,046
Out 11 times, and each time I

1452
00:49:56,114 --> 00:49:59,183
Have said no.

1453
00:49:59,251 --> 00:50:01,285
Not because I don't think he's a

1454
00:50:01,353 --> 00:50:05,155
Super cool dude, but because I

1455
00:50:05,223 --> 00:50:06,223
Know that he and I are better

1456
00:50:06,291 --> 00:50:08,092
Off single!

1457
00:50:08,159 --> 00:50:09,026
>> it really is better.

1458
00:50:09,094 --> 00:50:10,060
You're amazing.

1459
00:50:10,128 --> 00:50:11,128
>> okay.

1460
00:50:11,196 --> 00:50:13,130
So, who hates valentine's day?

1461
00:50:13,198 --> 00:50:14,164
Boo, right?

1462
00:50:14,232 --> 00:50:16,300
Well, you don't have to hate it

1463
00:50:16,368 --> 00:50:18,369
Anymore.

1464
00:50:18,436 --> 00:50:21,639
Just do what I do, ladies.

1465
00:50:21,706 --> 00:50:23,741
Get your white wine and draw

1466
00:50:23,808 --> 00:50:24,408
Your bubble bath and spoil

1467
00:50:24,476 --> 00:50:26,143
Yourself.

1468
00:50:26,211 --> 00:50:27,144
>> or you can go on a date with

1469
00:50:27,212 --> 00:50:28,212
Your dj!

1470
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:29,246
>> very funny, dude.

1471
00:50:29,314 --> 00:50:32,316
>> right?

1472
00:50:32,384 --> 00:50:35,552
>> now, even if you're single,

1473
00:50:35,620 --> 00:50:36,320
Valentine's day is all about the

1474
00:50:36,388 --> 00:50:39,323
Sweets.

1475
00:50:39,391 --> 00:50:40,424
So, we have a renowned pastry

1476
00:50:40,492 --> 00:50:42,459
Chef here today.

1477
00:50:42,527 --> 00:50:44,028
This guy is cool, you guys!

1478
00:50:44,095 --> 00:50:45,696
Please welcome damian cryer.

1479
00:50:45,764 --> 00:50:49,800
[ cheers and applause ]

1480
00:50:49,868 --> 00:50:58,375
♪

1481
00:50:58,443 --> 00:51:01,745
>> thank you for coming, damian!

1482
00:51:01,813 --> 00:51:02,680
>> it's an absolute and eternal

1483
00:51:02,747 --> 00:51:04,782
Pleasure.

1484
00:51:04,849 --> 00:51:05,816
>> oh, you're british and much

1485
00:51:05,884 --> 00:51:08,419
Taller than I expected.

1486
00:51:08,486 --> 00:51:09,620
>> and you're american and much

1487
00:51:09,688 --> 00:51:11,055
Lovelier than I expected.

1488
00:51:11,122 --> 00:51:12,122
Oh, there's something on your

1489
00:51:12,190 --> 00:51:13,157
Face.

1490
00:51:13,224 --> 00:51:15,926
What is it?

1491
00:51:15,994 --> 00:51:18,162
Oh, it's my hand.

1492
00:51:18,229 --> 00:51:19,229
>> oh.

1493
00:51:19,297 --> 00:51:19,797
Okay.

1494
00:51:19,864 --> 00:51:20,831
[ laughter ]

1495
00:51:20,899 --> 00:51:21,365
That just happened.

1496
00:51:21,433 --> 00:51:22,866
Okay.

1497
00:51:22,934 --> 00:51:24,101
Damien, let's talk v day

1498
00:51:24,169 --> 00:51:25,803
Desserts for one.

1499
00:51:25,870 --> 00:51:26,503
>> certainly.

1500
00:51:26,571 --> 00:51:28,439
Dena, what is the most

1501
00:51:28,506 --> 00:51:30,307
Decadent, luxurious, and

1502
00:51:30,375 --> 00:51:32,176
Arousing food?

1503
00:51:32,243 --> 00:51:33,444
>> uh --

1504
00:51:33,511 --> 00:51:35,980
I don't know.

1505
00:51:36,047 --> 00:51:37,114
>> well, it's chocolate, isn't

1506
00:51:37,182 --> 00:51:37,381
It?

1507
00:51:37,449 --> 00:51:39,516
Do you need a little taste?

1508
00:51:39,584 --> 00:51:45,422
[ laughter ]

1509
00:51:45,490 --> 00:51:46,457
>> you just do whatever you

1510
00:51:46,524 --> 00:51:48,158
Want, don't you?

1511
00:51:48,226 --> 00:51:50,995
>> or whomever I want.

1512
00:51:51,062 --> 00:51:52,029
>> you're funny.

1513
00:51:52,097 --> 00:51:53,097
Terry, are you loving this guy?

1514
00:51:53,164 --> 00:51:55,165
[ laughter ]

1515
00:51:55,233 --> 00:51:57,267
>> he's great.

1516
00:51:57,335 --> 00:51:59,303
>> okay.

1517
00:51:59,371 --> 00:52:00,337
Now, we're going to make a mini

1518
00:52:00,405 --> 00:52:01,939
Chocolate lava cake.

1519
00:52:02,007 --> 00:52:02,973
It's positively sinful.

1520
00:52:03,041 --> 00:52:07,244
Do you like sinful things, dena?

1521
00:52:07,312 --> 00:52:08,979
Is it sinful if I put your hand

1522
00:52:09,047 --> 00:52:11,115
On my pectoral?

1523
00:52:11,182 --> 00:52:13,884
Is that okay?

1524
00:52:13,952 --> 00:52:16,587
>> we're having a blast on livin

1525
00:52:16,654 --> 00:52:18,989
Single, huh?

1526
00:52:19,057 --> 00:52:20,057
Give us a beat, terry.

1527
00:52:20,125 --> 00:52:21,091
>> no!

1528
00:52:21,159 --> 00:52:22,159
[ laughter ]

1529
00:52:22,227 --> 00:52:23,093
I don't want to give him the

1530
00:52:23,161 --> 00:52:24,161
Beat.

1531
00:52:24,229 --> 00:52:26,764
>> terry, it's your job.

1532
00:52:26,831 --> 00:52:34,471
♪

1533
00:52:34,539 --> 00:52:42,312
[ laughter ]

1534
00:52:42,380 --> 00:52:56,727
♪

1535
00:52:56,795 --> 00:53:01,698
>> okay.

1536
00:53:01,766 --> 00:53:03,967
Now, dena, gosh, that was good.

1537
00:53:04,035 --> 00:53:05,636
Now, cooking is all about

1538
00:53:05,703 --> 00:53:09,239
Chemistry, isn't it?

1539
00:53:09,307 --> 00:53:10,974
So stir the cocoa like a good

1540
00:53:11,042 --> 00:53:11,275
Girl.

1541
00:53:11,342 --> 00:53:14,711
Don't be scared.

1542
00:53:14,779 --> 00:53:15,079
>> okay.

1543
00:53:15,146 --> 00:53:17,147
>> why are my hands shaking?

1544
00:53:17,215 --> 00:53:17,781
>> because we're making

1545
00:53:17,849 --> 00:53:21,218
Something, aren't we?

1546
00:53:21,286 --> 00:53:23,687
>> it's a cake!

1547
00:53:23,755 --> 00:53:25,422
>> we skipped a few steps, but

1548
00:53:25,490 --> 00:53:26,690
Here is what the finished

1549
00:53:26,758 --> 00:53:28,926
Products will look like.

1550
00:53:28,993 --> 00:53:31,995
>> you're amazing.

1551
00:53:32,063 --> 00:53:34,031
>> terry, I brought that cd.

1552
00:53:34,099 --> 00:53:35,833
Will you play that cd I gave

1553
00:53:35,900 --> 00:53:36,133
You.

1554
00:53:36,201 --> 00:53:37,367
>> you're not my boss.

1555
00:53:37,435 --> 00:53:44,641
>> terry, it's your job.

1556
00:53:44,709 --> 00:53:49,413
♪

1557
00:53:49,481 --> 00:53:54,218
>> see you next time on "livin'

1558
00:53:54,285 --> 00:53:54,551
Single."

1559
00:53:54,619 --> 00:53:57,955
And just remember, just because

1560
00:53:58,022 --> 00:53:59,490
You're flying solo doesn't mean

1561
00:53:59,557 --> 00:53:59,957
You can't soar.

1562
00:54:00,024 --> 00:54:00,624
Okay, bye.

1563
00:54:18,403 --> 00:54:20,203
>>> welcome once again to "a

1564
00:54:20,271 --> 00:54:21,872
Spot of tea."

1565
00:54:21,939 --> 00:54:23,707
Where me and the girls share our

1566
00:54:23,775 --> 00:54:24,775
Favorite hot beverage and gab

1567
00:54:24,842 --> 00:54:25,509
With the news of the day and

1568
00:54:25,576 --> 00:54:27,444
Gossip and such.

1569
00:54:27,512 --> 00:54:28,478
>> such gossip we do.

1570
00:54:28,546 --> 00:54:29,513
>> indeed, we do!

1571
00:54:29,580 --> 00:54:31,114
>> yes.

1572
00:54:31,182 --> 00:54:33,183
>> as always, we are coming to

1573
00:54:33,251 --> 00:54:35,285
You from our cottage.

1574
00:54:35,353 --> 00:54:36,420
And if you're wondering what

1575
00:54:36,487 --> 00:54:38,522
This machine is in the midst of

1576
00:54:38,589 --> 00:54:41,124
Our tea and various finger

1577
00:54:41,192 --> 00:54:46,396
Sandwiches, it's a seismograph.

1578
00:54:46,464 --> 00:54:50,000
Yes, it seems our cottage is

1579
00:54:50,068 --> 00:54:50,867
Atop the most active fault lines

1580
00:54:50,935 --> 00:54:52,869
In this region of the world.

1581
00:54:52,937 --> 00:54:54,504
But the show must go on and the

1582
00:54:54,572 --> 00:54:56,540
Rent is low!

1583
00:54:56,607 --> 00:54:58,075
>> and the tea is minty.

1584
00:54:58,142 --> 00:55:00,711
>> let's get to it, shall we?

1585
00:55:00,778 --> 00:55:01,511
Ladies, shall we pour?

1586
00:55:01,579 --> 00:55:04,915
>> yeah, yes, yes.

1587
00:55:04,982 --> 00:55:09,319
>> let us commence.

1588
00:55:09,387 --> 00:55:16,760
We are pouring hot tea and --

1589
00:55:16,828 --> 00:55:26,169
[ yelling ]

1590
00:55:26,237 --> 00:55:30,674
>> and the shaking has subsided.

1591
00:55:30,742 --> 00:55:32,109
Will you hand me the seismograph

1592
00:55:32,176 --> 00:55:33,410
Sheet, please?

1593
00:55:33,478 --> 00:55:37,013
>> with pleasure.

1594
00:55:37,081 --> 00:55:40,317
>> now then, this is where the

1595
00:55:40,385 --> 00:55:41,752
Show began, and here is where

1596
00:55:41,819 --> 00:55:44,755
Things went awry.

1597
00:55:44,822 --> 00:55:48,658
>> I remember that.

1598
00:55:48,726 --> 00:55:52,062
>> which brings us to our next

1599
00:55:52,130 --> 00:55:52,396
Topic.

1600
00:55:52,463 --> 00:55:54,231
Who would like some steaming hot

1601
00:55:54,298 --> 00:55:59,136
Tea?

1602
00:55:59,203 --> 00:56:01,438
>> this tea is also quite spacey

1603
00:56:01,506 --> 00:56:03,340
And therefore capable of burning

1604
00:56:03,408 --> 00:56:05,175
In two fashions.

1605
00:56:05,243 --> 00:56:11,314
>> is it safe to pour such cause

1606
00:56:11,382 --> 00:56:12,182
Caustic tea?

1607
00:56:12,250 --> 00:56:13,517
>> pinkies up.

1608
00:56:13,584 --> 00:56:14,818
>> pinkies up.

1609
00:56:14,886 --> 00:56:22,459
>> and let us pour.

1610
00:56:22,527 --> 00:56:24,494
Pouring the tea!

1611
00:56:24,562 --> 00:56:25,729
>> ever so close to our delicate

1612
00:56:25,797 --> 00:56:30,133
Faces.

1613
00:56:30,201 --> 00:56:38,442
[ yelling ]

1614
00:56:38,509 --> 00:56:40,944
[ laughter ]

1615
00:56:41,012 --> 00:56:45,916
>> it once again subsides.

1616
00:56:45,983 --> 00:56:46,983
>> that almost shook me out of

1617
00:56:47,051 --> 00:56:47,918
My undergarments.

1618
00:56:47,985 --> 00:56:48,852
>> it doesn't take much to do

1619
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:54,491
That.

1620
00:56:54,559 --> 00:56:56,493
Now a word from the show's

1621
00:56:56,561 --> 00:56:56,927
Sponsor.

1622
00:56:56,994 --> 00:56:59,062
Today's show is brought to us by

1623
00:56:59,130 --> 00:57:04,935
Tall cabinets full of glass.

1624
00:57:05,002 --> 00:57:07,137
When you need a cabinet as tall

1625
00:57:07,205 --> 00:57:11,141
As it is top heavy, look no

1626
00:57:11,209 --> 00:57:13,477
Further than --

1627
00:57:13,544 --> 00:57:23,420
[ yelling ]

1628
00:57:23,488 --> 00:57:33,563
[ laughter ]

1629
00:57:33,631 --> 00:57:39,169
>> the tremor has subsided.

1630
00:57:39,237 --> 00:57:41,538
I feel ravaged.

1631
00:57:41,606 --> 00:57:42,939
It was an earthquake, not your

1632
00:57:43,007 --> 00:57:50,247
Horse hung garden boy.

1633
00:57:50,314 --> 00:57:52,549
>> naughty.

1634
00:57:52,617 --> 00:57:57,420
>> boiling hot cauldrons of

1635
00:57:57,488 --> 00:57:58,955
Cheese fondue.

1636
00:57:59,023 --> 00:58:06,596
>> fondue coming right up.

1637
00:58:06,664 --> 00:58:09,866
[ yelling ]

1638
00:58:42,091 --> 00:58:42,691
>> how is everybody doing

1639
00:58:42,758 --> 00:58:43,024
Tonight?

1640
00:58:43,092 --> 00:58:46,561
[ cheers and applause ]

1641
00:58:46,629 --> 00:58:50,398
♪

1642
00:58:50,466 --> 00:58:53,535
♪ 3:00 in the morning

1643
00:58:53,602 --> 00:58:55,136
You know I'm horny

1644
00:58:55,204 --> 00:58:56,671
So why don't you come

1645
00:58:56,739 --> 00:58:59,841
Over my place ♪

1646
00:58:59,909 --> 00:59:02,977
♪ and put a smile on my face

1647
00:59:03,045 --> 00:59:05,580
Leaving the club, girl

1648
00:59:05,648 --> 00:59:08,183
Hurry up

1649
00:59:08,250 --> 00:59:10,285
So we can get ♪

1650
00:59:10,353 --> 00:59:11,353
♪ this party started

1651
00:59:11,420 --> 00:59:13,054
And take off our clothes now

1652
00:59:13,122 --> 00:59:14,022
You already know what

1653
00:59:14,090 --> 00:59:15,590
Time it is ♪

1654
00:59:15,658 --> 00:59:16,624
♪ reach up in that dresser

1655
00:59:16,692 --> 00:59:17,692
Where them condoms is

1656
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,227
And baby when I get it

1657
00:59:19,295 --> 00:59:22,397
I'll never let go ♪

1658
00:59:22,465 --> 00:59:23,965
♪ gonna take it slow

1659
00:59:24,033 --> 00:59:24,999
We ain't gonna stop

1660
00:59:25,067 --> 00:59:27,001
Till 9:00 a.M

1661
00:59:27,069 --> 00:59:30,672
If you can't take it ♪

1662
00:59:30,740 --> 00:59:31,740
♪ all baby say when

1663
00:59:31,807 --> 00:59:32,774
Make you come over

1664
00:59:32,842 --> 00:59:33,775
And over again

1665
00:59:33,843 --> 00:59:35,877
And I'm a leave it in ♪

1666
00:59:35,945 --> 00:59:37,445
♪ when we do it all night

1667
00:59:37,513 --> 00:59:39,547
We can do it all night

1668
00:59:39,615 --> 00:59:43,184
Girl, I'm a give it to you

1669
00:59:43,252 --> 00:59:45,286
All night ♪

1670
00:59:45,354 --> 00:59:46,354
♪ don't you be on that bull

1671
00:59:46,422 --> 00:59:50,525
Yeah yeah

1672
00:59:50,593 --> 00:59:53,661
All night

1673
00:59:53,729 --> 00:59:56,798
Don't you be on that bull ♪

1674
00:59:56,866 --> 00:59:57,866
♪ now there's one of two

1675
00:59:57,933 --> 00:59:59,968
Things that can happen at

1676
01:00:00,035 --> 01:00:01,102
This time of the hour

1677
01:00:01,170 --> 01:00:02,604
So baby after we get ♪

1678
01:00:02,671 --> 01:00:04,172
♪ out of the shower

1679
01:00:04,240 --> 01:00:05,240
You can race me to the bed

1680
01:00:05,307 --> 01:00:06,975
Turn off all the lights and

1681
01:00:07,042 --> 01:00:09,411
Light some candles instead ♪

1682
01:00:09,478 --> 01:00:11,479
♪ oh, yeah

1683
01:00:11,547 --> 01:00:12,514
I can hear your body

1684
01:00:12,581 --> 01:00:14,115
Calling, baby

1685
01:00:14,183 --> 01:00:16,618
Oh, yeah ♪

1686
01:00:16,685 --> 01:00:21,956
♪ we gonna get freaky

1687
01:00:22,024 --> 01:00:25,126
You know darling

1688
01:00:25,194 --> 01:00:27,595
You know what time it is

1689
01:00:27,663 --> 01:00:30,165
Get it in, I'm a do it all ♪

1690
01:00:30,232 --> 01:00:31,666
♪ we ain't gonna stop

1691
01:00:31,734 --> 01:00:33,301
Till 9:00 a.M

1692
01:00:33,369 --> 01:00:34,369
If you can't take it ♪

1693
01:00:34,437 --> 01:00:37,472
♪ all baby say when

1694
01:00:37,540 --> 01:00:38,873
Make you over

1695
01:00:38,941 --> 01:00:40,375
And over again

1696
01:00:40,443 --> 01:00:42,444
And I'm a leave it in ♪

1697
01:00:42,511 --> 01:00:44,546
♪ when we do it all night

1698
01:00:44,613 --> 01:00:45,580
We can do it all night

1699
01:00:45,648 --> 01:00:47,682
Girl, I'm a give it to you

1700
01:00:47,750 --> 01:00:50,919
All night ♪

1701
01:00:50,986 --> 01:00:52,487
♪ don't you be on that bull

1702
01:00:52,555 --> 01:00:53,955
Yeah yeah

1703
01:00:54,023 --> 01:00:56,090
All night

1704
01:00:56,158 --> 01:00:57,659
Don't you be on that bull ♪

1705
01:00:57,726 --> 01:00:59,227
♪ don't you be on that bull

1706
01:00:59,295 --> 01:01:01,296
Yeah yeah

1707
01:01:01,363 --> 01:01:02,931
All night

1708
01:01:02,998 --> 01:01:04,866
Ladies

1709
01:01:04,934 --> 01:01:07,502
♪ we can do it all

1710
01:01:07,570 --> 01:01:08,937
All night, girl

1711
01:01:09,004 --> 01:01:10,538
We can do it all

1712
01:01:10,606 --> 01:01:12,106
All night, girl ♪

1713
01:01:12,174 --> 01:01:13,575
♪ we can do it all

1714
01:01:13,642 --> 01:01:15,643
All night, girl ♪

1715
01:01:15,711 --> 01:01:18,780
We can do it all

1716
01:01:18,848 --> 01:01:22,484
All night, baby all night ♪

1717
01:01:22,551 --> 01:01:32,160
♪ all night, all night

1718
01:01:32,228 --> 01:01:35,430
All night, all night so fly

1719
01:01:35,498 --> 01:01:35,797
Girl ♪

1720
01:01:35,865 --> 01:01:37,699
♪

1721
01:01:37,766 --> 01:01:39,267
Girl, act like you know me

1722
01:01:39,335 --> 01:01:40,468
Don't you be on that bull ♪

1723
01:01:40,536 --> 01:01:42,437
♪ yeah, yeah

1724
01:01:42,505 --> 01:01:46,608
All night

1725
01:01:46,675 --> 01:01:48,176
So don't you be on that bull

1726
01:01:48,244 --> 01:01:50,278
Yeah, yeah ♪

1727
01:01:50,346 --> 01:01:51,779
♪ don't you be on that bull

1728
01:01:51,847 --> 01:01:53,982
Yeah, yeah

1729
01:01:54,049 --> 01:01:58,319
Don't you be on that bull

1730
01:01:58,387 --> 01:01:58,987
Yeah, yeah ♪

1731
01:01:59,054 --> 01:02:03,458
♪ hey, hey

1732
01:02:03,526 --> 01:02:04,492
♪ then when you

1733
01:02:04,560 --> 01:02:05,560
Leaving the club

1734
01:02:05,628 --> 01:02:06,628
I just want you to

1735
01:02:06,695 --> 01:02:08,196
Come over, girl ♪

1736
01:02:08,264 --> 01:02:09,230
♪ ohh nananaa

1737
01:02:09,298 --> 01:02:11,332
Naanananaa ♪

1738
01:02:11,400 --> 01:02:14,702
[ cheers and applause ]

1739
01:02:14,770 --> 01:02:20,408
>> thank you.

1740
01:02:36,111 --> 01:02:37,845
>>> mr. Speaker, senator paul,

1741
01:02:37,913 --> 01:02:38,879
Representative pelosi, I call

1742
01:02:38,947 --> 01:02:39,847
This meeting to put an end to

1743
01:02:39,915 --> 01:02:40,514
All the fighting about the

1744
01:02:40,582 --> 01:02:47,621
Founding fathers.

1745
01:02:47,689 --> 01:02:48,689
We at the pentagon have

1746
01:02:48,757 --> 01:02:51,559
Developed a top secret time

1747
01:02:51,626 --> 01:02:51,926
Machine.

1748
01:02:51,993 --> 01:02:54,261
It has the ability to bring a

1749
01:02:54,329 --> 01:02:56,430
Single person from the past to

1750
01:02:56,498 --> 01:02:57,398
The present day.

1751
01:02:57,465 --> 01:02:59,066
When I press this button

1752
01:02:59,134 --> 01:03:00,734
President george washington will

1753
01:03:00,802 --> 01:03:01,068
Appear.

1754
01:03:01,136 --> 01:03:02,169
You will each have 60 seconds to

1755
01:03:02,237 --> 01:03:03,237
Make your case.

1756
01:03:03,305 --> 01:03:04,104
At that point president

1757
01:03:04,172 --> 01:03:05,606
Washington will give his expert

1758
01:03:05,674 --> 01:03:07,174
Opinion, we will accept it, and

1759
01:03:07,242 --> 01:03:08,442
Then we will send him back to

1760
01:03:08,510 --> 01:03:09,143
The past.

1761
01:03:09,211 --> 01:03:10,277
Can everyone agree to those

1762
01:03:10,345 --> 01:03:10,611
Terms?

1763
01:03:10,679 --> 01:03:10,945
>> yes.

1764
01:03:11,012 --> 01:03:11,478
>> that's fair.

1765
01:03:11,546 --> 01:03:12,646
>> very well.

1766
01:03:12,714 --> 01:03:21,155
Let us proceed.

1767
01:03:21,223 --> 01:03:22,156
I give you the father of our

1768
01:03:22,224 --> 01:03:22,823
Country, president george

1769
01:03:22,891 --> 01:03:26,994
Washington.

1770
01:03:27,062 --> 01:03:29,063
[ laughter ]

1771
01:03:29,130 --> 01:03:30,698
>> president washington.

1772
01:03:30,765 --> 01:03:32,800
>> it's him.

1773
01:03:32,867 --> 01:03:34,835
>> where am I?

1774
01:03:34,903 --> 01:03:36,403
What has happened?

1775
01:03:36,471 --> 01:03:39,273
>> you must be confused.

1776
01:03:39,341 --> 01:03:43,944
Hel he, preside

1777
01:03:44,012 --> 01:03:44,645
Hello, president washington,

1778
01:03:44,713 --> 01:03:45,846
Welcome.

1779
01:03:45,914 --> 01:03:46,146
Whoa!

1780
01:03:46,214 --> 01:03:46,747
>> where am I?

1781
01:03:46,815 --> 01:03:49,016
What is this nightmare place?

1782
01:03:49,084 --> 01:03:51,552
Are you gods or are you men?

1783
01:03:51,620 --> 01:03:53,187
>> mr. President, please calm

1784
01:03:53,255 --> 01:03:53,487
Down.

1785
01:03:53,555 --> 01:03:55,623
We're trying to explain to

1786
01:03:55,690 --> 01:04:03,063
You --

1787
01:04:03,131 --> 01:04:05,933
>> easy, easy.

1788
01:04:06,001 --> 01:04:09,637
[ yelling ]

1789
01:04:09,704 --> 01:04:11,805
>> sir, please!

1790
01:04:11,873 --> 01:04:16,577
[ laughter ]

1791
01:04:16,645 --> 01:04:26,387
[ yelling ]

1792
01:04:26,454 --> 01:04:29,990
>> what have you done to me?

1793
01:04:30,058 --> 01:04:33,594
Are you gods or are you men?

1794
01:04:33,662 --> 01:04:43,871
What is this place?

1795
01:04:43,938 --> 01:04:45,306
>> oh, no.

1796
01:04:45,373 --> 01:04:46,006
I killed george washington.

1797
01:04:46,074 --> 01:04:48,942
[ laughter ]

1798
01:04:49,010 --> 01:04:49,443
>> it's okay.

1799
01:04:49,511 --> 01:04:51,278
>> you saved my life.

1800
01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:57,318
You saved my life.

1801
01:04:57,385 --> 01:04:58,852
>> I'm not going to lie.

1802
01:04:58,920 --> 01:04:59,520
That did not go as planned.

1803
01:04:59,587 --> 01:05:01,422
[ laughter ]

1804
01:05:01,489 --> 01:05:03,157
So can we agree to keep this

1805
01:05:03,224 --> 01:05:04,892
Between us, yeah?

1806
01:05:04,959 --> 01:05:05,492
Yeah?

1807
01:05:05,560 --> 01:05:06,360
Okay, good.

1808
01:05:06,428 --> 01:05:07,144
Well, I'm going to see you guys

1809
01:05:07,228 --> 01:05:11,148
Around, okay?

1810
01:05:11,216 --> 01:05:12,533
That's not good.

1811
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:15,903
[ cheers and applause ]

1812
01:05:28,971 --> 01:05:31,072
>>> thank you very much,

1813
01:05:31,140 --> 01:05:32,941
To chris brown, everyone!

1814
01:05:33,008 --> 01:05:36,911
[ cheers and applause ]

1815
01:05:36,979 --> 01:05:38,313
And I'd like to thank the

1816
01:05:38,380 --> 01:05:40,014
Wonderful cast here and

1817
01:05:40,082 --> 01:05:41,683
Incredible crew at "Saturday

1818
01:05:41,750 --> 01:05:42,116
Night live."

1819
01:05:42,184 --> 01:05:48,323
It's been wonderful to be back.

1820
01:05:48,390 --> 01:05:51,492
Thank you.

1821
01:05:51,560 --> 01:05:56,431
Thank you all.

1822
01:05:56,498 --> 01:05:58,466
I'd like to thank bill for being

1823
01:05:58,534 --> 01:06:00,201
A wonderful human being and

1824
01:06:00,269 --> 01:06:01,903
Demonstrating what it is to be a

1825
01:06:01,971 --> 01:06:02,203
Man.

1826
01:06:02,271 --> 01:06:02,737
Thank you very much.

1827
01:06:02,805 --> 01:06:03,438
Have a wonderful valentine's

1828
01:06:03,505 --> 01:06:10,745
Day.

1829
01:06:10,813 --> 01:06:14,716
-- <font color="#ffff00">Sync by InSUBs</font> --
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1830
01:06:14,783 --> 01:06:21,823
Captions paid for by
nbc-universal television

1831
01:06:36,138 --> 01:06:41,075
.