1
00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:07,181
Look at us. Having dinner at the table,
facing each other...

2
00:00:07,357 --> 00:00:11,316
...instead of just shoveling down takeout
in front of the TV. It's nice, huh?

3
00:00:11,895 --> 00:00:14,591
Based on your tone,
I'm assuming you want me to say yes.

4
00:00:14,764 --> 00:00:16,231
[CHUCKLES]

5
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,697
I'm kidding. It's great.
There's no distractions.

6
00:00:18,868 --> 00:00:21,302
Just me and my lady
enjoying a civilized dinner...

7
00:00:21,471 --> 00:00:23,666
...and conversing about our day.

8
00:00:24,007 --> 00:00:26,601
-Kind of romantic.
-Very romantic.

9
00:00:26,876 --> 00:00:31,040
Is this gonna be an every night
kind of deal or just an odd experiment...

10
00:00:31,214 --> 00:00:33,341
...to see if we could actually do it?

11
00:00:33,516 --> 00:00:36,644
You know, it's important for us
to stay connected with each other.

12
00:00:36,820 --> 00:00:39,618
Sex is not the only way
to express intimacy.

13
00:00:39,789 --> 00:00:42,986
I agree. It's certainly the best way.

14
00:00:43,359 --> 00:00:45,452
Mostly because we always know
when we're done.

15
00:00:47,664 --> 00:00:49,689
Well, I always know when I'm done.

16
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:54,098
Hey, I got an idea.

17
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:57,599
Let's forget about the dishes
and let's go out and do something fun.

18
00:00:58,007 --> 00:01:00,134
-Right now?
-Yeah, right now. Me and you.

19
00:01:00,310 --> 00:01:02,870
Let's just get in the car,
see where the night takes us.

20
00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:06,038
I was hoping the night was gonna
take us to your comfy couch.

21
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:10,309
Oh. Come on, we live in one of
the greatest cities in the world.

22
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,148
Let's go explore it.

23
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,984
Or we could snuggle up on the couch...

24
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:18,218
...and eat low-fat Bugles
off of each other's fingertips.

25
00:01:18,628 --> 00:01:20,653
-Sexy.
-Ha-ha.

26
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,354
Don't be such a load.

27
00:01:22,532 --> 00:01:24,591
I already put on
my loosey-goosey sweatpants.

28
00:01:24,768 --> 00:01:27,965
I know. Been looking at those sweatpants
for almost two weeks now.

29
00:01:28,138 --> 00:01:31,107
Hey, maybe we can toss them
in the washer while we go out.

30
00:01:31,274 --> 00:01:33,674
You can't.
You'll shrink the loosey out of them...

31
00:01:33,843 --> 00:01:35,310
...and then they're just goosey.

32
00:01:35,745 --> 00:01:38,976
Come on, get changed
and let's go do something.

33
00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:42,243
I'm not really up for going out.
I had a pretty tough day at work.

34
00:01:42,852 --> 00:01:45,082
What happened?
Shootout? Bank robbery?

35
00:01:45,255 --> 00:01:47,815
Carl stepped in gum again?

36
00:01:48,591 --> 00:01:51,856
You joke. But an officer of the law
stepping in a wad of Hubba Bubba...

37
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:55,429
...can be the split second a criminal
needs to make his getaway.

38
00:01:56,599 --> 00:01:59,591
Whoa, what are you two doing
standing up after 6:00?

39
00:01:59,769 --> 00:02:01,202
Is the couch on fire?

40
00:02:02,806 --> 00:02:04,000
JOYCE:
Guess where we're going?

41
00:02:04,174 --> 00:02:08,270
Vince is taking me to see Peaches and Herb
at the Schaumburg Hyatt.

42
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:13,247
It's the original Herb,
but it's Peaches number six.

43
00:02:13,416 --> 00:02:15,941
I don't know where those Peaches
are disappearing to...

44
00:02:16,119 --> 00:02:19,520
...but somebody might wanna
take a shovel to Herb's backyard.

45
00:02:21,291 --> 00:02:25,091
He made the same joke about
Gladys Knight killing The Pips. Good night.

46
00:02:25,261 --> 00:02:28,162
Have fun. When you get home,
don't put the chain on the door...

47
00:02:28,331 --> 00:02:31,164
...because Mike and I might be out
pretty late.

48
00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:32,460
[UPBEAT MUSlC PLAYlNG ON TV]

49
00:02:32,635 --> 00:02:35,126
Molly, look. A squirrel on water skis.

50
00:02:57,227 --> 00:03:03,427
MAN [OVER TV]: The resilient villagers
return once more to till their arid soil.

51
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,693
[DRAMATlC MUSlC PLAYS OVER TV]

52
00:03:05,869 --> 00:03:06,893
[TV CLlCKS OFF]

53
00:03:07,070 --> 00:03:09,595
What tragic lives some people lead.

54
00:03:09,772 --> 00:03:13,902
[SNORlNG]

55
00:03:14,410 --> 00:03:17,641
Oh, my God, that's horrible.
When will we learn?

56
00:03:18,047 --> 00:03:19,412
You fell asleep.

57
00:03:19,582 --> 00:03:20,981
No, I didn't.

58
00:03:22,752 --> 00:03:25,585
So you saw the whole thing
about the migrating geese?

59
00:03:26,256 --> 00:03:29,919
Yes. And I found it heartbreaking.

60
00:03:30,526 --> 00:03:32,050
There were no geese.

61
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:37,657
So you tricked me? Congratulations,
you outwitted a sleeping man.

62
00:03:38,534 --> 00:03:41,503
Mike, I can't sit on that couch anymore
watching TV.

63
00:03:41,671 --> 00:03:45,072
Let's go do something fun this weekend.
Me and you.

64
00:03:45,241 --> 00:03:46,708
-I'm in.
-Really?

65
00:03:46,876 --> 00:03:47,968
Whatever you wanna do.

66
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:52,581
Great. So how about we drive downstate
to a nice little B & B?

67
00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:54,910
Bed and breakfast?
Are you out of your mind?

68
00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:57,518
-You said whatever I wanna do.
-Within reason.

69
00:03:57,687 --> 00:04:02,215
I don't wanna share a toilet with a house
full of strangers. The seat's always warm.

70
00:04:03,559 --> 00:04:08,428
Plus, there's usually some mangy cat
with a bent tail rubbing its anus on your leg.

71
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,596
Okay, forget the bed and breakfast.

72
00:04:11,768 --> 00:04:16,364
How about we drive up to Wisconsin?

73
00:04:16,539 --> 00:04:19,235
Hmm. Rent a cabin by the lake.

74
00:04:19,409 --> 00:04:23,812
You know, a big fireplace,
snuggling under a blanket...

75
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:26,278
...sipping hot chocolate.

76
00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:28,115
Eh.

77
00:04:28,618 --> 00:04:31,178
What is the problem this time,
princess, huh?

78
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,322
The fireplace? Wisconsin?

79
00:04:33,489 --> 00:04:35,980
I know it's not the chocolate.

80
00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:41,091
Wow. You felt the need to go there, huh?
Real mature.

81
00:04:48,771 --> 00:04:50,864
-What's wrong with you?
-Nothing, why?

82
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,601
You're playing with your food.
And you don't ever play with your food.

83
00:04:55,511 --> 00:04:58,878
Sometimes he does lay his sausages
in a neat little row.

84
00:05:00,450 --> 00:05:04,250
Yeah, but that's more like lining up logs
before you jam them in a woodchipper.

85
00:05:05,154 --> 00:05:06,746
I think Molly's getting restless.

86
00:05:06,923 --> 00:05:08,049
-Restless?
MlKE: I don't know.

87
00:05:08,224 --> 00:05:12,251
From what I can gather,
I'm not taking her outside enough.

88
00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:16,888
I told you, when you got a girlfriend, you'd
have to walk her at least three times a day.

89
00:05:17,500 --> 00:05:20,025
Otherwise, they go crazy,
start chewing up furniture...

90
00:05:20,203 --> 00:05:22,865
...and dragging their little butts
across the carpet.

91
00:05:23,106 --> 00:05:26,234
That's why you gotta get two of them.
They can play with each other.

92
00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:30,568
I don't get it.
Everything you'd want is inside.

93
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:33,341
Food, shelter, sex.
What else do you need?

94
00:05:33,783 --> 00:05:35,876
I'd settle for two of the three.

95
00:05:36,052 --> 00:05:39,954
Give me a strange hand on my crotch
and Skittles and I would live in a pothole.

96
00:05:41,924 --> 00:05:44,119
I don't think Molly understands
how hard I work.

97
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:47,353
I put my life on the line every day.
I need some downtime.

98
00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:50,897
Yup. That's what I tell Grandma.
When I get home, I need to decompress.

99
00:05:51,067 --> 00:05:52,295
-Some me time.
-Right.

100
00:05:52,468 --> 00:05:56,131
Don't yell at me to shovel the drive
or pull a dead rat out of the rain gutter.

101
00:05:56,305 --> 00:06:00,139
Why didn't she grab that thing when she
was up there taking down Christmas lights?

102
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:04,879
Exactly. We spend all day every day fighting
crime to keep the streets safe for them.

103
00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:07,039
We're like Batman.
When Batman comes home...

104
00:06:07,216 --> 00:06:09,207
...you don't ask him
to unclog the toilet...

105
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:12,149
...because his Bat Grandma
can't process dairy.

106
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,714
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

107
00:06:14,891 --> 00:06:17,291
I gave Molly my A game
when we first started dating.

108
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,122
But I can't keep up that level of charm.
I'm only one man.

109
00:06:20,396 --> 00:06:22,421
Hmm. I could argue otherwise.

110
00:06:24,767 --> 00:06:27,736
You need to shake it up.
Show her you're making an effort.

111
00:06:27,904 --> 00:06:29,963
-This mean I have to go out?
-Not at all.

112
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,629
All right, I'm listening.

113
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:34,106
Instead of letting her make dinner
and serve it...

114
00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:36,609
...you show up with dinner
and serve it to her.

115
00:06:36,779 --> 00:06:40,579
Still eating dinner on the couch, but in
her mind, you have wined and dined her.

116
00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,074
That's all it takes?

117
00:06:42,251 --> 00:06:45,015
Do a couple of little things
she doesn't expect you to do...

118
00:06:45,188 --> 00:06:48,715
...and she'll forget all about
the big nasty things you don't wanna do.

119
00:06:48,891 --> 00:06:49,915
That makes sense.

120
00:06:50,093 --> 00:06:52,857
I may have combed out a few
old-lady wigs in my day...

121
00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:55,691
...but I never plucked a dead rat
out of a rain gutter.

122
00:06:58,868 --> 00:07:02,827
WOMAN [OVER TV]: The diet of the North
American brown bear consists mostly...

123
00:07:03,005 --> 00:07:06,736
...of salmon, berries, legumes,
and pine nuts.

124
00:07:06,909 --> 00:07:09,503
Yogi doesn't eat that.

125
00:07:10,012 --> 00:07:12,776
Yogi eats pic-a-nic baskets.

126
00:07:15,051 --> 00:07:16,245
Six pounds.

127
00:07:16,419 --> 00:07:19,354
I've gained almost 6 pounds
since Mike and I started dating.

128
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,581
It's probably
just your hibernation weight.

129
00:07:21,757 --> 00:07:24,920
You'll lose that as soon
as the spring thaw rolls around.

130
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:28,057
We've just turned
into this old married couple.

131
00:07:28,231 --> 00:07:31,632
He never wants to go out anymore.
I can't even get him off the sofa.

132
00:07:32,001 --> 00:07:36,734
You've already mated with him, so he has
no reason to stand on his hind legs...

133
00:07:36,906 --> 00:07:38,965
...or fling a half-eaten salmon
at your feet.

134
00:07:39,976 --> 00:07:41,307
Turn off the bear show.

135
00:07:41,477 --> 00:07:43,240
Sorry.

136
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:47,880
All I'm saying is once a guy knows
you're a sure thing...

137
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,484
...there's no reason for him
to try anymore.

138
00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:54,287
-You know what?
-Mm-hm?

139
00:07:54,457 --> 00:07:57,893
I'm not just gonna sit around
and wait for him to take me out.

140
00:07:58,060 --> 00:08:01,826
If I wanna go do something fun,
I am gonna do something fun.

141
00:08:01,998 --> 00:08:03,022
Right on, sister.

142
00:08:03,199 --> 00:08:06,566
I am gonna tear it up! Whoo!

143
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,707
You wanna come with me?
I don't wanna go by myself.

144
00:08:18,114 --> 00:08:19,775
[RlNGlNG DOORBELL]

145
00:08:27,523 --> 00:08:30,959
Oh, good Lord.
I just saw my girlfriend's mom naked.

146
00:08:32,128 --> 00:08:33,720
What are you doing in the window?

147
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:37,093
Sorry. I didn't think anybody
would be having sex on the stairs.

148
00:08:38,201 --> 00:08:41,830
Well, if you're writing a book,
it started in the laundry room.

149
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:45,204
Hey, Mike. What a surprise.

150
00:08:45,374 --> 00:08:47,308
I was just making popcorn.

151
00:08:49,278 --> 00:08:50,939
Save it. He saw us on the stairs.

152
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:53,707
Honestly, from the window,
it looked like a bad fall.

153
00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:01,382
All right, state your business.
Those Viagras are 1 1 bucks a pop.

154
00:09:01,857 --> 00:09:04,826
Hush up, Vince. You got
another three hours on that thing.

155
00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:07,121
Hey, I'm gonna be asleep
in about 30 minutes.

156
00:09:07,296 --> 00:09:10,390
After that, you can pound nails
with it for all I care.

157
00:09:11,167 --> 00:09:12,896
I'm looking for Molly. Is she home?

158
00:09:13,069 --> 00:09:16,266
If she was, would I be doing her mom
on the staircase...

159
00:09:16,439 --> 00:09:19,875
...while you watched from the window
getting your jollies?

160
00:09:20,076 --> 00:09:21,839
She and Victoria went out.

161
00:09:22,011 --> 00:09:25,037
Really? But we always spend
Friday nights together.

162
00:09:25,214 --> 00:09:26,647
And I brought over Thai food.

163
00:09:27,016 --> 00:09:29,814
-Ooh. That sounds good.
-Yeah, I could eat.

164
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,886
Give you 20 bucks
for the whole shebang.

165
00:09:32,054 --> 00:09:35,854
Forty if you promise to stay away
from the window for the rest of the night.

166
00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:38,423
Just take it.

167
00:09:39,595 --> 00:09:43,497
What do you say you throw me another
high hard one, then we eat the spring rolls?

168
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,463
Works for me.

169
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,266
VlCTORlA:
Oh, my God.

170
00:09:49,438 --> 00:09:52,498
[LAUGHlNG]

171
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:56,475
Oh, God. I forgot how great it feels
to go out on a Friday night.

172
00:09:56,646 --> 00:10:00,514
Work week is done, papers are graded.
Mama is ready to party.

173
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,310
You go, girl.

174
00:10:02,752 --> 00:10:06,347
I still have to buy foam board and 30
glue sticks for Monday's art project...

175
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,387
... but I ain't doing it tonight.

176
00:10:08,557 --> 00:10:10,354
Because it's time to party.

177
00:10:11,627 --> 00:10:14,790
I am gonna write myself
just a little reminder...

178
00:10:14,964 --> 00:10:20,493
...so I don't forget
about that foam board. Whoo!

179
00:10:20,670 --> 00:10:21,864
[LAUGHlNG]

180
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:25,303
Good idea. Because we're
gonna get wasted tonight.

181
00:10:25,474 --> 00:10:27,339
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

182
00:10:28,010 --> 00:10:29,500
I mean, probably not wasted...

183
00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,978
... but I think I see a couple of glasses
of chardonnay in my future.

184
00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:34,173
[LAUGHlNG]

185
00:10:34,350 --> 00:10:36,113
[CELL PHONE RlNGlNG

186
00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:38,751
Uh-oh.

187
00:10:38,921 --> 00:10:40,752
Grandpa Mike.

188
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:42,422
What's up?

189
00:10:42,591 --> 00:10:44,354
Oh, just hanging with my sister.

190
00:10:44,527 --> 00:10:47,223
-Ha.
-Uh-huh. Oh, really?

191
00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,921
You just dropped by
assuming I'd be there.

192
00:10:50,099 --> 00:10:51,361
Bummer for you.

193
00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:54,229
I don't know. I--

194
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:58,066
-Could go pretty late, it's Friday night.
-Whoo!

195
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,901
[WHlSPERlNG]
Do it again, do it again.

196
00:11:00,943 --> 00:11:02,740
Whoo!

197
00:11:03,012 --> 00:11:07,540
[lN NORMAL VOlCE] Victoria, chill,
I'm trying to talk on the phone.

198
00:11:07,883 --> 00:11:10,681
Sorry, she's pretty amped.

199
00:11:10,886 --> 00:11:12,945
Yes, I said amped.

200
00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:16,051
We're getting ready
to head into the club.

201
00:11:16,225 --> 00:11:19,353
Ladies, I'm gonna need to see some lD.

202
00:11:19,795 --> 00:11:21,387
Just kidding.

203
00:11:21,564 --> 00:11:22,588
Gotta go.

204
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,828
I'll call you.

205
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,763
[LAUGHlNG]

206
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:32,465
Oh, God. Look at me playing hard to get.
I don't think I have ever done that.

207
00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:33,938
I tried it once.

208
00:11:34,543 --> 00:11:38,309
But I was completely naked at the time,
so the dude called my bluff.

209
00:11:38,848 --> 00:11:41,783
[LAUGHlNG]

210
00:11:46,389 --> 00:11:48,084
[RlNGS DOORBELL]

211
00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:54,395
GRANDMA:
Who the hell is beating on my door?

212
00:11:54,563 --> 00:11:56,656
Nana, it's me, Mike.

213
00:11:57,433 --> 00:11:59,924
Oh, hey, Michael. Carlton's not home.

214
00:12:00,102 --> 00:12:01,364
Good night, baby.

215
00:12:01,537 --> 00:12:03,402
Wait, wait. Not home? Where did he go?

216
00:12:03,572 --> 00:12:06,006
Oh, I don't keep tabs on him,
he's a grown man.

217
00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:08,609
But he does like hot wings
and big fake boobies...

218
00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,245
...if that helps narrow it down.

219
00:12:11,213 --> 00:12:12,237
Strip club.

220
00:12:12,415 --> 00:12:17,011
I don't think he was folding up dollar bills
to put in the church collection plate.

221
00:12:17,186 --> 00:12:18,448
Now, if you'll excuse me...

222
00:12:18,621 --> 00:12:21,055
...Brother Heywood stopped by
for pie and coffee.

223
00:12:21,424 --> 00:12:23,221
Oh, what kind of pie?

224
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,952
The kind of pie that
two consenting adults enjoy alone...

225
00:12:28,130 --> 00:12:30,223
...in the privacy of their own home.

226
00:12:31,934 --> 00:12:33,424
Man, I am two for two.

227
00:12:33,602 --> 00:12:35,570
So's Brother Heywood.
Good night, Michael.

228
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:45,174
I'm a doer. I've always been. In high school,
French club, chess club, drama club...

229
00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:49,147
...band, jazz band, marching band,
student council, editor of the school paper.

230
00:12:49,318 --> 00:12:52,116
-French club. Did I already say French club?
-Yes, you did.

231
00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:53,915
[SPEAKS lN FRENCH]

232
00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:56,520
You might wanna slow down
on those Red Bulls.

233
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,819
The point is I'm an active person.
A go-getter.

234
00:12:58,994 --> 00:13:01,792
I backpacked through Europe
one summer. All by myself.

235
00:13:01,964 --> 00:13:05,195
Okay, it wasn't the whole summer,
but it was two and a half weeks.

236
00:13:05,367 --> 00:13:08,803
The point is I have an adventurous soul.
I'm like Amelia Earhart.

237
00:13:08,971 --> 00:13:13,169
Or that woman that lives with the gorillas.
Sigourney Weaver played her in the movie.

238
00:13:13,342 --> 00:13:15,640
-I loved her in Ghostbusters.
-She was fantastic.

239
00:13:15,811 --> 00:13:18,177
Funny, sexy, quirky.
See, that's who I am.

240
00:13:18,347 --> 00:13:19,871
I'm fun and I've always been fun.

241
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:23,382
You don't keep a fun gal like me at home.
Take her out, show her around.

242
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:25,179
Red light!

243
00:13:25,488 --> 00:13:27,479
[LAUGHlNG]

244
00:13:31,927 --> 00:13:34,020
That was fun. Wasn't that fun?

245
00:13:34,196 --> 00:13:35,663
I might've peed a little.

246
00:13:35,831 --> 00:13:37,458
[LAUGHS]

247
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:39,792
Oh! Me too. Oh!

248
00:13:39,969 --> 00:13:41,960
[LAUGHlNG]

249
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:46,867
MlKE:
Molly, it's Mike.

250
00:13:47,042 --> 00:13:48,907
Where are you?

251
00:13:49,211 --> 00:13:52,146
I'm sorry,
I can't hear you over the music.

252
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:55,647
Oh, great. Yeah, I'm glad
you're having a good time.

253
00:13:55,818 --> 00:13:58,378
Me? I'm having a ball.

254
00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:03,882
I don't know where your ball is.
Look under the couch.

255
00:14:05,694 --> 00:14:08,128
So I guess I'll see you when I see you.

256
00:14:08,297 --> 00:14:09,730
Hello?

257
00:14:10,833 --> 00:14:13,028
I threw a load of your whites
in the dryer.

258
00:14:13,202 --> 00:14:15,762
I had to spray some extra Zout
on your pit stains.

259
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,701
Looked like you were sweating mustard.

260
00:14:19,575 --> 00:14:22,442
-Thanks.
-So where's your little girlfriend tonight?

261
00:14:22,611 --> 00:14:24,602
She wanted some time to herself.

262
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:26,907
Oh, time to herself.

263
00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:29,175
Well, you two had a good run.

264
00:14:29,351 --> 00:14:32,411
Nothing you can do
when the love bus goes off the cliff.

265
00:14:33,856 --> 00:14:36,689
Nothing like that.
She just thinks we don't go out enough.

266
00:14:36,859 --> 00:14:40,693
Why does she need to go out? You guys
are in a committed relationship now.

267
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:43,730
The music has stopped, grab a chair.

268
00:14:44,066 --> 00:14:47,035
Exactly. She doesn't understand
that I work hard every day...

269
00:14:47,202 --> 00:14:49,261
...and when I come home,
I need to unwind.

270
00:14:49,438 --> 00:14:50,996
Your father and I never went out.

271
00:14:51,173 --> 00:14:53,471
We'd eat every meal right here
in front of the TV.

272
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:54,768
-Every meal?
-Yep.

273
00:14:54,944 --> 00:14:57,469
As long as we had three squares
and Barnaby Jones...

274
00:14:57,646 --> 00:14:59,637
...we didn't need a lot of jibber-jabber.

275
00:15:00,349 --> 00:15:03,841
So that's all you guys did, was sit
on the couch together and watch TV?

276
00:15:04,019 --> 00:15:07,819
Eventually, your father bought a second TV
and watched it down in the basement.

277
00:15:08,324 --> 00:15:13,318
So I'd leave his dinner on the top step
and ring a little bell for him to come get it.

278
00:15:14,597 --> 00:15:16,588
That's horrible.
Why don't I remember that?

279
00:15:16,765 --> 00:15:18,960
Oh, that was before you were born.

280
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:23,399
After you came along,
we started to drift apart.

281
00:15:28,611 --> 00:15:31,171
-Would you be terribly hurt if l--?
-Get out of here.

282
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,712
Thanks, Mom.

283
00:15:35,951 --> 00:15:38,511
That lit a fire under his ass,
didn't it, Jim?

284
00:15:41,657 --> 00:15:43,648
[DANCE MUSlC PLAYlNG lNSlDE]

285
00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:54,302
This place is fantastic.

286
00:15:54,470 --> 00:15:56,904
Yeah, great music.
Plus, you don't have to worry...

287
00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:59,768
-...about any of the guys hitting on you.
-Right.

288
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:02,638
You know, because they're all gay.

289
00:16:02,911 --> 00:16:05,209
Yeah. I gathered that.

290
00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:07,975
Another good thing:
No lines in the ladies' bathroom.

291
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:11,244
Occasionally, you'll walk in
on something very disturbing...

292
00:16:11,420 --> 00:16:14,480
...but you just do your business
and get out as quick as you can.

293
00:16:21,530 --> 00:16:24,021
Excuse me, gentlemen. How are you?

294
00:16:24,199 --> 00:16:25,564
Excuse me. Pardon me.

295
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:29,192
Nice to see you. Hell of a mustache.

296
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,338
Molly!

297
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,135
Molly!

298
00:16:38,814 --> 00:16:40,475
No, no, no. Not dancing.

299
00:16:41,316 --> 00:16:42,340
Mike!

300
00:16:42,785 --> 00:16:46,084
Molly! That's my girlfriend. I'm with her.

301
00:16:46,255 --> 00:16:47,381
Coming through.

302
00:16:47,556 --> 00:16:50,923
Nice nipple ring. That had to hurt.

303
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,659
Detective Nelson.

304
00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:55,194
I'm gonna assume you're undercover.

305
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:58,665
-Molly.
-What are you doing here?

306
00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,699
I came to tell you I'm sorry.

307
00:17:01,070 --> 00:17:04,403
I don't wanna end up sitting
in the basement waiting on the dinner bell.

308
00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,239
I don't know what that means.

309
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:08,501
Means I don't ever wanna take you
for granted.

310
00:17:08,677 --> 00:17:10,736
And if you wanna go out, we'll go out.

311
00:17:11,714 --> 00:17:13,682
We are out.

312
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,774
-Seriously?
-Dance with me, big boy.

313
00:17:17,186 --> 00:17:18,744
I'm not really much of a dancer.

314
00:17:18,921 --> 00:17:21,389
-Consider it foreplay.
-Sold.

315
00:17:25,728 --> 00:17:27,559
-I love you.
-I love you too.

316
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,625
Tell me that was you
that just grabbed my ass.

317
00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:37,101
First one's free.
Next one's gonna cost you.

318
00:17:44,446 --> 00:17:47,745
I think the problem, Jeffrey,
is you're taking Steven for granted.

319
00:17:47,916 --> 00:17:51,079
I mean, yes, you're a doctor,
and that's a very demanding job...

320
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:52,550
...but he works too.

321
00:17:52,721 --> 00:17:54,985
He's on his feet all day long
at the salon...

322
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,955
...and at night he still cares enough
to cram those things...

323
00:17:58,127 --> 00:18:00,118
...into those size 12 peekaboo pumps.

324
00:18:00,295 --> 00:18:01,353
Ten and a half.

325
00:18:02,231 --> 00:18:05,598
Okay. I know better than to argue
with a lady about her shoe size.

326
00:18:07,102 --> 00:18:08,433
Mike, you ready to go home?

327
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:10,765
Oh, sure, sweetie. It's my girlfriend.

328
00:18:11,206 --> 00:18:12,639
You know how it is.

329
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:15,208
-Well, you know how it is.
-Mike.

330
00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:17,103
Nice to meet you guys.

331
00:18:17,279 --> 00:18:19,907
You coming back tomorrow?
It's cowboy-and-lndian night.

332
00:18:20,082 --> 00:18:22,812
-Ooh. It's cowboy-and-lndian night.
-We'll talk about it.

333
00:18:22,985 --> 00:18:24,316
I can wear my boots.

334
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:26,386
MOLLY: Might be nice to stay home
tomorrow night.

335
00:18:26,555 --> 00:18:29,080
MlKE:
Come on, you never wanna do anything.

336
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:32,088
How would you feel about me
growing a mustache?

337
00:18:32,261 --> 00:18:36,288
MOLLY: Sure. Maybe get a nipple ring.
Someplace to hang your dry cleaning.

338
00:19:03,325 --> 00:19:05,316
[English - US - SDH]