1 00:00:02,102 --> 00:00:04,400 Here's what you missed. Quinn was dating Sam. 2 00:00:04,471 --> 00:00:05,733 Then she kissed Finn. Santana told Sam. 3 00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:07,932 - Now they've started dating. - Biebalicious. 4 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,839 Will's not dating anyone and says he's over Emma... 5 00:00:09,909 --> 00:00:11,968 but it seems like he's still got a thing for her even though she's married. 6 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:13,307 Kurt's really into Blaine and Blaine likes Kurt... 7 00:00:13,380 --> 00:00:14,904 but he says he just wants to stay friends. 8 00:00:14,981 --> 00:00:16,573 And that's what you missed on Glee. 9 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,119 Figgins. 10 00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:24,054 - You wanted to see me? - William, we have an epidemic on our hands. 11 00:00:24,124 --> 00:00:26,615 - Head lice? - Worse. Giggle juice. 12 00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:28,217 I'm sorry. What? 13 00:00:28,294 --> 00:00:31,127 Alcohol, William. The wet devil. 14 00:00:31,197 --> 00:00:33,028 Our children are so brazen... 15 00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,590 they're showing up to school wasted. 16 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:38,728 And not wasted on learning, Will- wasted on booze. 17 00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:40,932 Why, just this week, we've had five suspensions... 18 00:00:41,007 --> 00:00:43,100 for intoxication on school grounds. 19 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:44,768 Figgins! 20 00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:46,243 You rock! 21 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:47,802 Yeah, man! 22 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:50,611 Six suspensions. 23 00:00:50,683 --> 00:00:52,913 I don't get it. Drinking's never been a problem at this school. 24 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:56,888 That's because there are new alcoholic beverages targeted to kids, Will. 25 00:00:56,956 --> 00:01:01,359 Just listen to the radio. Pop music now glorifies binge drinking. 26 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:05,762 Just listen to any hit by pop sensation "Ke-dollar-sign-ha." 27 00:01:05,832 --> 00:01:07,663 Oh. You- You mean Ke$ ha? 28 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,634 We must do something to protect our children, Will. 29 00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:13,103 I-I totally agree. How-How can I help? 30 00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,164 I have decided to make this week... 31 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,539 Alcohol Awareness Week at McKinley. 32 00:01:17,610 --> 00:01:21,239 I have contacted Kitty Dukakis, who will be the guest speaker at an assembly... 33 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:23,714 where your Glee Club will perform a song... 34 00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:26,684 highlighting the dangers of teenage drinking. 35 00:01:28,054 --> 00:01:29,988 Can I count on you, William? 36 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,358 - Emma? - Hi. 37 00:01:37,430 --> 00:01:38,897 Enough with us not being friends. 38 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:40,455 I heard through the grapevine... 39 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,296 that you and Carl started looking for a tract house. 40 00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:45,633 I just wanted to say that I'm genuinely happy for you. 41 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:48,970 Thank you. That's really sweet. 44 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,671 Yeah. Sure. 45 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:57,973 How have you been? 46 00:01:58,051 --> 00:02:00,144 Busy. Yeah. 47 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,619 Glee Club's gearing up for regionals... 48 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:03,679 I, um, love hearing about the Glee Club... 49 00:02:03,756 --> 00:02:05,223 but I'm actually more interested in you... 50 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,815 you know, how you're doing. 51 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:08,986 - Me? - Are you dating anybody? 52 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,826 - No. - No? 53 00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:14,828 Maybe you should. 54 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:17,802 You know, Ella, I think Will should really concentrate on his treatment... 55 00:02:17,871 --> 00:02:20,567 before he tries another relationship with an early hominid... 56 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:21,664 even a human female. 57 00:02:21,741 --> 00:02:24,266 - Treatment? - Alcoholics Anonymous, Will. 58 00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:29,008 I suggest you preemptively check into rehab, as you are a future alcoholic. 59 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,277 I mean, come on. Look where you are. 60 00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:34,650 You're coaching a glee club that can only beat choirs of old people. 61 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:37,383 You're rehashing the details of your failed marriage... 62 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:42,224 with the very lemur who rejected the bestial horror of your craven sexual advances. 63 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:45,025 And when my glee club crushes you at regionals... 64 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:48,226 well, the last ounce of meaning will drain from your life... 65 00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,098 and you will turn to drink. 66 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:52,400 I don't get it. How is it you're now coaching a glee club? 67 00:02:52,472 --> 00:02:54,963 I was so inspired by my stint in the Glee Club... 68 00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:58,135 that I took the trip to Westvale and I volunteered my help. 69 00:02:58,211 --> 00:03:01,146 Unfortunately, the chipper homosexual who coaches Aural Intensity... 70 00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:03,375 had a terrible fall down the stairs. 71 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,985 I'm okay. Don't worry. 72 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:17,320 Not to be alarmed. Doctors say he will be fine... 73 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:19,297 provided they can get the swelling in his brain under control. 74 00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,424 Okay, sorry. I still don't understand. 75 00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:23,799 How can the school let you coach Aural Intensity? 76 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,394 News flash, Imelda. 77 00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,769 There's no one lining up to coach glee clubs... 78 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,671 because it's a sucky job for losers. 79 00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:32,643 But there was an opening, and I am a champion. 80 00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,805 Oh, Will. Here's the book by Bill W... 81 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:37,645 outlining the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. 82 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,514 I can't wait for you to start climbing those steps. 83 00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:41,315 'Cause when you get to the top... 84 00:03:41,387 --> 00:03:43,321 I'm gonna knock you back down. 85 00:03:46,926 --> 00:03:49,156 Whassup, my hot little Jewish-American Princess? 86 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,924 What do you want, Puckerman? 87 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,795 Word on the street is your dads are out of town and you're alone in your house. 88 00:03:53,866 --> 00:03:55,595 They are on the Rosie O'Donnell cruise. 89 00:03:55,668 --> 00:03:57,158 Who told you that? 90 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,467 This is the kind of information a guy like me tends to know. 91 00:03:59,539 --> 00:04:01,564 So, uh, party this Saturday? 92 00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:03,370 I'll bring the beer ball. That's a minikeg. 93 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:05,104 Forget it. 94 00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:06,645 Oh, come on. Just the Glee kids. 95 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,806 We're losing our minds, all stressed about sectionals and stuff. 96 00:04:08,881 --> 00:04:10,815 Regionals. 97 00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:13,443 Besides, you just want a place to have sex and get drunk. 98 00:04:13,519 --> 00:04:15,282 Yeah. There's a word for that- a party. 99 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,084 No. No. 100 00:04:17,156 --> 00:04:19,420 My dads, they left me alone in my house... 101 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,221 because they trusted me to be responsible. 102 00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:24,286 They left you alone 'cause you suck and are a total bore. 103 00:04:25,164 --> 00:04:26,961 - Hey. - Yo. 104 00:04:27,033 --> 00:04:30,525 - How's the songwriting going? - Hey. It's going amazing. 105 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:33,504 I might have a really big hit, which is why I wanted you to come by. 106 00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:35,302 I wanted you to hear it. 107 00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,899 Oh. Yeah. Cool. 108 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:38,967 Come here. 109 00:04:49,055 --> 00:04:51,580 - What was that for? - To break the tension. 110 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:54,092 We were boyfriend and girlfriend, Finn. 111 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,027 It's silly for us to pretend like we aren't comfortable around each other. 112 00:04:57,096 --> 00:04:59,064 Yeah. Totally. 113 00:04:59,132 --> 00:05:00,929 I know that we have some unresolved feelings... 114 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,766 but, like my two new role models Carole King and Gerry Goff in... 115 00:05:04,837 --> 00:05:07,305 I think it's important that we just put them aside... 116 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,102 and stay focused on our mission... 117 00:05:09,175 --> 00:05:12,611 which is just to write an amazing song to win regionals with. 118 00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,943 Well, I have no idea who those people are. 119 00:05:15,014 --> 00:05:17,244 But I'm on board. Let's hear it. 120 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,046 It's just- It's a little rough. 121 00:05:19,118 --> 00:05:22,281 But, uh, I think it's really special. 122 00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:29,188 # There you rest # 123 00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,197 # With all the rest # 124 00:05:32,265 --> 00:05:38,898 # Of my accessories on my nightstand # 125 00:05:39,706 --> 00:05:42,470 # You're red or yellow # 126 00:05:42,542 --> 00:05:45,909 # And like a good fellow # 127 00:05:45,978 --> 00:05:52,281 # Sometimes you get lost in my mess # 128 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,948 # But when schoolgirl pigtails won't do # 129 00:05:58,658 --> 00:06:05,257 # And I need to control my do # 130 00:06:05,331 --> 00:06:08,767 # You're the only one I can count on # 131 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,065 # My headband # 132 00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:14,504 # You're my headband # 133 00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:17,907 # Wrapped right around my melon # 134 00:06:17,977 --> 00:06:20,138 - # You're a product like Magellan-## - Uh. 135 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,681 Hold- Hold on. Hold on. 136 00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:24,182 Is this song about your headband? 137 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,878 - Yes. It's called "My Headband." - Right. 138 00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,944 They say you should write about what you know. 139 00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:32,752 Well, uh, it's really... interesting... 140 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:37,956 but it's not emotional or, like, good. 141 00:06:38,030 --> 00:06:39,520 - It sucks. - Yeah. 142 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:41,931 How am I supposed to write a song like Joni Mitchell or Carole King? 143 00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:45,835 - They've lived. - Well, maybe if you want to be an artist like them... 144 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:48,339 you should... do a little living. 145 00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,507 You're so right. 146 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:56,014 I mean, even now, it-it- it's Alcohol Awareness Week... 147 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,380 and we're supposed to sing songs about the dangers of drinking... 148 00:06:58,451 --> 00:07:00,146 and I've never even had a drink. 149 00:07:00,219 --> 00:07:01,709 Wait. Seriously? 150 00:07:01,788 --> 00:07:03,278 That's why I never got past second base. 151 00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:05,187 - Wait. Where are you going? - To find Puckerman. 152 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:08,819 You know, my journey from little princess to "natural woman"... 153 00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:11,557 begins this Saturday night at my house. 154 00:07:13,132 --> 00:07:15,862 It sounds awful. Is anybody going? 155 00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,165 Let me find out. 156 00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:19,704 Did you hear? 157 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,569 Yes. Mercedes just told me. 158 00:07:21,641 --> 00:07:23,541 Tell them I'll go if they go. 159 00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,270 Tell them yourself. I ain't no pony express. 160 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:27,676 You're going, right? 161 00:07:27,747 --> 00:07:31,615 Only if there's liquor, because a Rachel Berry party is not something I can do sober. 162 00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:32,981 But it's Alcohol Awareness Week. 163 00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:35,953 Precisely. And I am aware of how much fun alcohol is. 164 00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,013 - Let's ask Puckerman. - You're go for Puck. 165 00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:39,853 Noah, it's Santittany and Artcedes. 166 00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:41,951 Can your friend score us some wine coolers? 167 00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:43,620 No, but his I.D. can. 168 00:07:43,696 --> 00:07:45,425 Well, if we're all in, it's settled. 169 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:50,094 The Rachel Berry house party train wreck extravaganza is officially a go. 170 00:07:52,171 --> 00:07:53,866 Welcome. 171 00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,374 Kurt. Blaine. 172 00:07:56,442 --> 00:07:58,808 I wasn't expecting you guys. 173 00:07:58,878 --> 00:08:02,370 Kurt's been blackmailing me ever since he saw my browser history. 174 00:08:02,448 --> 00:08:04,040 He kind of insisted on coming. 175 00:08:04,116 --> 00:08:06,107 I'm totally off the clock right now, Rachel. 176 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,914 I'm not a Warbler. I'm just Blaine. 177 00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:09,750 I'm not even wearing my uniform. 178 00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,790 So, this is your dads' Oscar room. 179 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,258 Yes. They transformed our ordinary basement... 180 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:17,626 - for our famous annual Oscar parties. - Is that a stage? 181 00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:20,723 I kind of like to give impromptu performances for our neighbors sometimes. 182 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,234 Hey, girlfriend. Having fun? 183 00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:24,792 Yeah. 184 00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,295 Awesome party. 185 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:33,441 Uh, okay. Let's, uh- Let's go over the rules. 186 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:37,074 Everybody gets two drink tickets to keep things from getting out of hand. 187 00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,413 We are serving wine coolers today. 188 00:08:39,485 --> 00:08:41,214 That is our specialty drink. 189 00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:43,983 It's actually all we have. 190 00:08:46,292 --> 00:08:49,284 Brittany! Remember the rules. No sitting on anything. 191 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,091 Okay. Okay, everybody. 192 00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:53,625 Cheers! 193 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:56,065 Great party, Rachel. We gotta run. 194 00:08:56,135 --> 00:08:58,330 Yeah, dinner reservations. 195 00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,838 But-But we- We haven't even played celebrity yet. 196 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,932 I... 197 00:09:03,009 --> 00:09:05,136 Wh- Why is everybody leaving? 198 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,441 Because this party blows. 199 00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,409 I haven't even had my first sip yet. 200 00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:13,941 How am I supposed to write "Both Sides Now" if I can't even throw a party? 201 00:09:14,020 --> 00:09:16,215 Look, if you want everyone to stay... 202 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:18,917 you have to let me break in your dads' liquor cabinet. 203 00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:20,959 No one's gonna get buzzed off two wine coolers. 204 00:09:22,194 --> 00:09:23,661 I'll replace it before they get home. 205 00:09:28,301 --> 00:09:29,495 Let's party! 206 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,402 # Poppin' bottles in the Ice # 207 00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,166 # Like a blizzard # 208 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,698 # Now I'm feelin'so fly like a G6 # 209 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:41,440 - Let's go! - # Like a G6, like a G6 # 210 00:09:41,514 --> 00:09:45,541 # Now I'm feeling so fly like a G6 # 211 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,554 Mike, get off! 212 00:09:49,622 --> 00:09:51,817 Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 213 00:09:51,891 --> 00:09:53,950 Chug! Chug! Chug! 214 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:57,561 It tastes like pink. 215 00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:59,723 It tastes like pink! 216 00:09:59,799 --> 00:10:01,858 Pink! 217 00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:15,577 - Are you not drinking? - No. Designated driver. 218 00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:19,015 - What about you? - I'm still trying to impress Blaine. 219 00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:21,019 Can't get too sloppy. 220 00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,984 Clearly, he doesn't have the same concern. 221 00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:25,353 Hey! 222 00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:29,417 It is so cool that you and Kurt are brothers. 223 00:10:29,495 --> 00:10:32,225 Right? Like, brothers! 224 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,994 Wow! You're so tall. 225 00:10:36,268 --> 00:10:38,498 - You having fun, Blaine? - Yeah. 226 00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,766 This is the best party ever! 227 00:10:41,674 --> 00:10:43,835 Finny. Dance with me. 228 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:47,537 We had it going on, right? 229 00:10:47,613 --> 00:10:50,514 I wasn't making it up or anything? 230 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:53,944 I would do anything for you. Anything! 231 00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:57,251 - Okay, Rachel. Since this is your first time at this- - Sit down? 232 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,086 - I'm gonna break it down for you. - Okay. 233 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:03,857 Guys and girls fall into certain archetypes when they get drunk. 234 00:11:03,929 --> 00:11:08,025 Exhibit "A": Santana- the weepy, hysterical drunk. 235 00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,829 You like her more than me. 236 00:11:09,902 --> 00:11:12,427 She's blonde and awesome and so smart. 237 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,700 Admit it. Just admit it! 238 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,264 No! Kiss me! 239 00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:19,573 Lauren Zizes and Quinn- the "anger girl" drunks. 240 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,374 I can't believe what you did to my body. 241 00:11:21,447 --> 00:11:22,937 - I used to have abs. - Back off. 242 00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:25,245 - Who told you that hairstyle was cool- Geronimo? - Chill out. 243 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:29,811 Brittany- also known as the " girl who turns into a stripper" drunk. 244 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,050 # Makin' it rain # Whoo! 245 00:11:32,124 --> 00:11:34,058 That's my girlfriend. I love you, baby. 246 00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:36,788 Mercedes and Tina- "happy girl" drunks. 247 00:11:39,198 --> 00:11:40,597 Oh! Oh! 248 00:11:40,666 --> 00:11:45,296 And then we come around full circle right back to you, Rachel. 249 00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:48,135 And right now you're being the "needy girl" drunk. 250 00:11:48,207 --> 00:11:50,903 Hanging all over me, being overly lovey. 251 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,466 It's not cool. 252 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:58,649 Well, what kind of girl is this? 253 00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:04,111 Let's spin the bottle! 254 00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:07,853 Who wants to play spin the bottle? 255 00:12:07,927 --> 00:12:09,258 Spin the bottle. 256 00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:12,195 # Feelin' so fly like a G6 ## 257 00:12:20,506 --> 00:12:23,532 # Johnny, what's the deal, boy? # 258 00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,940 You know what? A reminder... 259 00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,568 I owns that guppy mouth. 260 00:12:26,645 --> 00:12:28,670 Those trouty Aerosmith lips belong to me, so... 261 00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,981 You know what this is not? Hey, honeys. 262 00:12:39,058 --> 00:12:41,686 It's not a Big Red commercial. No me gusta. 263 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,729 Whoo! Party! 264 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:46,993 It's my turn! It's my turn! 265 00:12:51,237 --> 00:12:53,364 Oh! 266 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,566 This is outstanding! 267 00:12:55,641 --> 00:12:59,702 Blaine Warbler, I'm gonna rock your world. 268 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,078 Yeah! Deep! Deep! 269 00:13:03,149 --> 00:13:05,117 More! More! More! More! 270 00:13:05,184 --> 00:13:08,210 # Johnny, are you queer, boy? # 271 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:12,155 # Johnny, are you queer, boy? ## 272 00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:13,714 Okay, I think we've had enough of that. 273 00:13:15,361 --> 00:13:16,851 - Okay! - Yeah! 274 00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:22,156 Your face tastes awesome. 275 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:24,065 That was crazy. 276 00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,400 I think I just found a new duet partner! 277 00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:38,408 # You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar # 278 00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:42,011 - # When I met you # - # You # 279 00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:46,353 # I picked you out, I shook you up and turned you around # 280 00:13:46,425 --> 00:13:50,225 - # Turned you into someone new # - # New # 281 00:13:50,296 --> 00:13:54,392 - # Don't- Don't you want me? # - # Don't # 282 00:13:54,466 --> 00:13:58,596 # You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me # 283 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,072 - # Don't- Don't you want me? # - # Don't, don't # 284 00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:06,134 # You know I don't believe it when you say that you don't need me # 285 00:14:06,212 --> 00:14:09,978 # It's much too late to find you think you've changed your mind # 286 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:14,247 # You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry # 287 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:17,619 # Don't you want me, baby? # 288 00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:22,157 # Don't you want me? Oh, oh # 289 00:14:22,228 --> 00:14:26,562 # Don't you want me, baby? # 290 00:14:26,632 --> 00:14:29,726 # Don't you want me? Oh, oh # 291 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:34,796 # I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar # 292 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:38,241 - # That much is true # - # True # 293 00:14:38,310 --> 00:14:42,406 # But even then I knew I'd find a much better place # 294 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:46,247 - # Either with or without you # - # Without you # 295 00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:47,842 - # Don't # - # Don't # 296 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,252 - # Don't you want me? # - # Don't you want me? # 297 00:14:50,322 --> 00:14:54,418 # You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me # 298 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:57,860 # It's much too late to find you think you've changed your mind # 299 00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:02,333 # You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry # 300 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:05,131 # Don't you want me, baby? # 301 00:15:05,204 --> 00:15:06,603 I want you. I do. 302 00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:10,108 # Don't you want me? Oh, oh # 303 00:15:10,175 --> 00:15:14,771 - # Don't you want me, baby? # - # Oh, oh # 304 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:18,339 # Don't you want me? Oh, oh # 305 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:21,682 # Don't you want me, baby? ## 306 00:15:24,423 --> 00:15:27,984 Hey, Kurt, come give me a hand with these eggs. 307 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,994 I'll be down in a minute. 308 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:32,121 What the hell is a shirred egg? 309 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,461 Is that- Is that the same thing as a scrambled egg? 310 00:15:36,402 --> 00:15:37,801 Hey, what's this? 311 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,236 Today was the day you were gonna teach me all about brunch. 312 00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:42,206 I'll be down in a sec. 313 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:47,879 Oh, where am I? 314 00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,979 Oh. Uh, I'm sorry. My bad. 315 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,891 I need to close my locker, and it's gonna sound like a gunshot. 316 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:05,090 I have had the worst hangover since Saturday, and it's Monday. 317 00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,859 I've been dry-heaving all weekend. 318 00:16:06,932 --> 00:16:08,524 When my mother asked what the sound was... 319 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,261 I said that I was practicing birdcalls. 320 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:13,237 - You guys, I can't stop barfing. - Please don't say "barf." 321 00:16:13,305 --> 00:16:17,173 I caught a whiff of hair spray and went full Linda Blair in the girls' bathroom. 322 00:16:17,242 --> 00:16:18,732 I told my mom I had the flu... 323 00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,405 and she made me a traditional tea made out of panda hair. 324 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:23,414 Can we talk about anything else? 325 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,879 How about some Bloody Marys, y'all? 326 00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:29,216 Are you kidding me? The last thing I want to do is drink. 327 00:16:29,288 --> 00:16:32,917 It'll help your hangover. That's what Bloody Marys are for. 328 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:36,621 Hair of the dog that done bit yo' ass. 329 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:41,631 # Blame it on the Goose Got you feelin' loose # 330 00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:44,294 # Blame it on the 'Tron Got you in the zone # 331 00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:47,032 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 332 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:50,769 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-a-a-alcohol # 333 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:54,074 # Eh, she say she usually don't # 334 00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,774 # But I know that she front # 335 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:58,373 # 'Cause shorty know what she want # 336 00:16:58,450 --> 00:17:02,352 # But she don't wanna seem like she's easy # 337 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:05,083 # I ain't saying what you won't do # 338 00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,148 # But you know we probably gonna do # 339 00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:10,286 # What you've been feelin' deep inside # 340 00:17:10,362 --> 00:17:11,989 # Don't lie now # 341 00:17:12,064 --> 00:17:13,554 # Boy, what you drinkin'? # 342 00:17:13,632 --> 00:17:15,327 # Gonna let it sink in # 343 00:17:15,401 --> 00:17:16,925 # Here for the weekend thinkin' # 344 00:17:17,002 --> 00:17:20,631 # We can see what we can be if we press fast-forward # 345 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:23,231 # Just one more round and you're down, I know it # 346 00:17:23,308 --> 00:17:26,141 # Fill another cup up Feelin' on your butt, what? # 347 00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,303 # You don't even care now # 348 00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:29,609 # I was unaware how fine you was # 349 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,672 # Before my buzz set in # 350 00:17:31,750 --> 00:17:33,615 # My buzz set in # 351 00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:36,176 - # Blame it on the Goose Got you feelin' loose # - # Blame it on the Goose # 352 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,450 # Blame it on the 'Tron Got you in the zone # 353 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:41,459 - # Alcohol # - # Blame it on a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 354 00:17:41,527 --> 00:17:44,621 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 355 00:17:44,696 --> 00:17:46,755 # Blame it on the vodka Blame it on the Henny # 356 00:17:46,832 --> 00:17:49,528 # Blame it on the blue top Got you feelin' dizzy # 357 00:17:49,601 --> 00:17:52,502 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 358 00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:55,631 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-a-a-alcohol # 359 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,335 # Now to the ballas poppin' bottles with their Henny in their cups # 360 00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:01,106 # Screamin' money ain't a thing if you ain't throw it up # 361 00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:03,478 - # In the sky # - # In the sky # 362 00:18:03,549 --> 00:18:06,484 - # And hold your drinks up high # - # Up high # 363 00:18:06,552 --> 00:18:09,146 # And to my independent mamas who can buy they own bottles # 364 00:18:09,221 --> 00:18:11,849 # If you lookin' like a model when them broke fellas holla # 365 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:14,290 - # Tell them bye # - # Bye # 366 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,123 - # And hold your drinks up high # - # Up high # 367 00:18:17,196 --> 00:18:19,687 # Blame it on the Goose Got you feelin' loose # 368 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:22,199 # Blame it on the 'Tron Got you in the zone # 369 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:24,997 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 370 00:18:25,070 --> 00:18:27,868 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 371 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:31,000 # Blame it on the vodka Blame it on the Henny # 372 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:33,636 # Blame it on that blue top Got you feeling dizzy # 373 00:18:33,712 --> 00:18:36,203 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol # 374 00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:40,047 # Blame it on the a-a-a- a-a-a-alcohol ## 375 00:18:40,185 --> 00:18:42,813 Well done, you guys. 376 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:45,584 I mean, you always bring it with the singing and the dancing. 377 00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,251 But what I was really impressed with today was your acting. 378 00:18:48,327 --> 00:18:50,727 I truly thought that some of you guys were drunk. 379 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,354 We take our craft serious. 380 00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,092 Problem is- That-That song is great... 381 00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:57,226 but it- it kind of glorifies drinking, don't you think? 382 00:18:57,302 --> 00:19:00,863 I mean, we're supposed to sing about the dangers of alcohol for this assembly. 383 00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:03,032 Well, good luck finding a song that does that. 384 00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:06,100 Mr. Schue? First of all, that vest is very cute. 385 00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:08,271 You are all kinds of awesome. 386 00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:11,544 But second, maybe there's really no songs about the dangers of drinking... 387 00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:15,519 because there's really none, as long as you have a proper designated driver. 388 00:19:15,587 --> 00:19:17,111 Have I ever told you how great you are? 389 00:19:17,189 --> 00:19:20,090 Well, Rachel, yeah, driving drunk is dangerous. 390 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,184 And have you guys ever heard of alcohol poisoning? 391 00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:24,092 Yeah, it kills about 400 people every year. 392 00:19:27,032 --> 00:19:28,465 Santana, are you- Are you crying? 393 00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,024 I'm okay. I'm okay. 394 00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:33,230 You're such a hypocrite. You drink. Most adults do. 395 00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:36,638 I may have a beer every now and then, but I don't- I don't get drunk. 396 00:19:36,708 --> 00:19:39,575 We're just saying this is a waste of time. We're totally aware of alcohol. 397 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,135 We see adults drinking it and having fun. 398 00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,147 Every commercial during NASCAR is for beer. 399 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,775 Okay. Enough, guys. 400 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,785 Look, tomorrow, come with your thinking caps on... 401 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,753 because we're gonna spend the entire day... 402 00:19:49,821 --> 00:19:52,915 brainstorming ideas for songs to sing at this assembly. 403 00:19:55,127 --> 00:19:56,424 Am I out of touch? 404 00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,725 I used to drink a lot more when I was their age. 405 00:19:58,797 --> 00:20:00,924 Most of the time, it was just to deal with Terri, but... 406 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:02,660 I mean, who am I to tell them not to drink... 407 00:20:02,734 --> 00:20:04,759 when I blacked out a couple of times when I was their age? 408 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,964 - And I ended up okay. - You're taking this way too hard. 409 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,736 - Something else going on? - Let's see. Um... 410 00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:13,403 My divorce is starting to really sink in. 411 00:20:13,478 --> 00:20:16,447 Sue's coaching my competition at regionals. 412 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,415 And Emma is looking for a house with her husband. 413 00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:20,508 Is that all? 414 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,146 - What do you do for stress relief? - Exercise. 415 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,316 Well, me, too, but that's a little too close to being productive. 416 00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,485 You got to get a little ridiculous, man, burn off some of that angst. 417 00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:31,654 - You have any suggestions? - Tomorrow night... 418 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:34,426 you're tagging along with me for my stress relief. 419 00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:37,468 We're going to a little place they call Rosalita's Roadhouse. 420 00:20:37,536 --> 00:20:40,505 Isn't that like a honky-tonk bar? 421 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:43,473 You ain't lived till you've seen me in a cowboy hat. 422 00:20:56,388 --> 00:21:00,381 # So far away # 423 00:21:00,459 --> 00:21:04,520 # Doesn't anybody stay In one place anymore? 424 00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:06,928 - I didn't drink that much. - Are you kidding? 425 00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:08,864 You spent the entire night sucking Rachel Berry's face. 426 00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:11,164 That, sir, is what we call rock bottom. 427 00:21:11,236 --> 00:21:14,034 - Oh, my God. Speak of the devil. - Two medium drips. 428 00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,132 Hi, Rachel. Kurt and I were just talking about you. 429 00:21:17,209 --> 00:21:20,906 You're such a cutie-pie with your blazer and your pants. 430 00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:25,780 So, I have a question for you. 431 00:21:27,185 --> 00:21:29,153 - I wanted to know- - Is she drunk? 432 00:21:29,221 --> 00:21:31,382 Shh, shh, shh, shh. Um, yeah. 433 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,385 Uh-huh. All right, I'll see you then. 434 00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,758 Okay, bye. 435 00:21:39,431 --> 00:21:41,763 Rachel just asked me out. 436 00:21:41,833 --> 00:21:44,893 Oh, that's amazing. She's got a girl crush on you. 437 00:21:47,239 --> 00:21:49,366 Wait a second. Why'd you say yes? 438 00:21:49,441 --> 00:21:52,069 - You can't lead her on. - Who says I'm leading her on? 439 00:21:53,779 --> 00:21:55,406 You can't be serious. 440 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:58,347 When we kissed, it- it felt good. 441 00:21:58,417 --> 00:22:00,351 It felt good because you were drunk. 442 00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:02,683 What's the harm in going out on one crummy little date? 443 00:22:02,754 --> 00:22:05,154 - You're gay, Blaine. - I thought I was. 444 00:22:05,223 --> 00:22:08,215 But I've never even had a boyfriend before. 445 00:22:08,293 --> 00:22:10,784 Isn't this the time you're supposed to figure stuff out? 446 00:22:10,862 --> 00:22:13,126 - I can't believe that I'm hearing this right now. - Maybe I'm bi. I don't know. 447 00:22:13,198 --> 00:22:15,359 "Bisexual" is a term that gay guys in high school use... 448 00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:18,665 when they want to hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change. 449 00:22:18,737 --> 00:22:21,137 Whoa. Wait, wait. Why are you so angry? 450 00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:22,400 Because I look up to you. 451 00:22:22,474 --> 00:22:24,806 I admire how proud you are of who you are. 452 00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:28,573 I know what it's like to be in the closet, and here you are about to tiptoe back in. 453 00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:32,276 I'm really sorry if this hurts your feelings or your pride or whatever. 454 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:35,616 But however confusing it might be for you... 455 00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,882 it's actually a lot more confusing for me. 456 00:22:37,956 --> 00:22:41,414 You're 100% sure who you are. Fantastic. 457 00:22:41,493 --> 00:22:44,394 Well, maybe we all can't be so lucky. 458 00:22:44,463 --> 00:22:46,590 Yeah, I have- I've had a lot of luck, Blaine. 459 00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:49,964 I was really lucky to be chased out of high school by a bully who threatened to kill me. 460 00:22:50,035 --> 00:22:52,970 - And why did he do that? - Because he didn't like who I was. 461 00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:56,599 Sort of exactly what you're saying to me right now. Isn't it? 462 00:22:58,777 --> 00:23:03,305 I am- I'm searching, okay? 463 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,510 I'm honestly just trying to figure out who I am... 464 00:23:06,585 --> 00:23:09,076 and for you, of all people, to get down on me for that... 465 00:23:09,154 --> 00:23:11,782 I didn't think that's who you were. 466 00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,587 I'll see you. 467 00:23:14,659 --> 00:23:17,719 I'd say "bye," but I wouldn't want to make you angry. 468 00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,527 - Bring it in. - Cheers! 469 00:23:23,602 --> 00:23:26,162 - Come on, brother. - # Last night # 470 00:23:26,238 --> 00:23:29,503 - Yeah! Go, Will! 471 00:23:31,610 --> 00:23:33,771 Get up! Yeah! 472 00:23:33,845 --> 00:23:35,710 # A hundred bottles of beer on the wall # 473 00:23:35,781 --> 00:23:38,511 # I thought I could drink 'em all ## 474 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:41,780 Whoo! 475 00:23:41,853 --> 00:23:43,844 Bring it in. 476 00:23:49,928 --> 00:23:51,259 Whoo! 477 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:53,297 Welcome, everybody, to Rosalita's Roadhouse... 478 00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:55,458 where the men are men and the sheep are nervous. 479 00:23:55,534 --> 00:23:58,526 A special warm welcome to Will Schuester... 480 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:00,332 joining us here for the first time tonight. 481 00:24:00,405 --> 00:24:02,805 My friend Shannon the Cannon here... 482 00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:06,002 tells me Will wants to hop up on stage and sing us a song. 483 00:24:06,077 --> 00:24:08,739 Come on up here, cowboy. 484 00:24:10,816 --> 00:24:12,374 Whoo! 485 00:24:17,489 --> 00:24:19,354 I'll get you for this. 486 00:24:19,424 --> 00:24:23,417 You know- You know, I- I am not singing anything without my gal here. 487 00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:25,690 Come on, bring her a microphone. Bring her a microphone. 488 00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:34,132 I wanna tell you a story... 489 00:24:35,474 --> 00:24:37,305 about the house-rent blues. 490 00:24:40,645 --> 00:24:43,136 I come home one Friday... 491 00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:46,241 had to tell the landlady I done lost my job. 492 00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:48,846 Mm-mmm. 493 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:51,718 She said, "That don't comfort me. 494 00:24:51,790 --> 00:24:54,350 Long as I get my money next Friday." 495 00:24:54,426 --> 00:24:57,691 Now, next Friday come, I didn't get the rent... 496 00:24:57,762 --> 00:24:59,593 and out the door I went. 497 00:25:00,866 --> 00:25:06,327 # One bourbon, one scotch, one beer # 498 00:25:07,772 --> 00:25:11,037 # Well, I ain't seen my baby since I don't know when # 499 00:25:11,109 --> 00:25:15,273 # I've been drinking bourbon, whiskey scotch and gin # 500 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:18,316 # Gonna get high, man, I'm gonna get loose # 501 00:25:18,383 --> 00:25:22,149 # Need me a triple shot of that juice # 502 00:25:22,220 --> 00:25:25,485 # Gonna get drunk Don't you have no fear # 503 00:25:25,557 --> 00:25:28,788 # I want one bourbon one scotch and one beer # 504 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:34,594 # One bourbon, one scotch, one beer # 505 00:25:36,167 --> 00:25:39,466 # I ain't seen my baby since the night before last # 506 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:43,099 # Gonna get a drink, man, I'm gonna get gassed # 507 00:25:43,174 --> 00:25:47,110 # Gotta get high, man, I ain't had enough # 508 00:25:47,178 --> 00:25:50,341 # Need me a triple shot of that stuff # 509 00:25:50,415 --> 00:25:53,646 # Gonna get drunk Won't you listen right here? # 510 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,915 # I want one bourbon one shot and one beer # 511 00:25:56,988 --> 00:26:01,322 # One bourbon, one scotch, one beer # 512 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:03,759 I want all that! Come on now! 513 00:26:03,828 --> 00:26:09,664 # One bourbon, one scotch, one beer ## 514 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:11,463 Whoo! Yeah! 515 00:26:11,536 --> 00:26:13,367 Whoo! Drinks on me! 516 00:26:14,573 --> 00:26:16,541 Thanks for helping with the party cleanup... 517 00:26:16,608 --> 00:26:18,838 especially considering that you didn't even drink. 518 00:26:18,910 --> 00:26:21,640 - I was in the neighborhood. - At 10:00? 519 00:26:21,713 --> 00:26:24,773 Are you sure you're not here just to find out how my date with Blaine went? 520 00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:26,214 Oh, was that tonight? 521 00:26:27,852 --> 00:26:30,980 Look, we're friends, so I'm gonna be honest with you. 522 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,187 The date was lovely. 523 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:36,659 We saw Love Story at the revival theater. 524 00:26:36,728 --> 00:26:38,559 We even dressed up as the characters. 525 00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:41,326 That's not gay at all. Did you kiss? 526 00:26:41,399 --> 00:26:45,233 No. Our lips spent the evening mouthing Ali MacGraw's dialogue. 527 00:26:45,303 --> 00:26:48,101 Frankly, I did expect a little snog as the date drew to a close... 528 00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:50,835 but I guess the timing just wasn't right. 529 00:26:50,909 --> 00:26:52,877 Or the blood-alcohol level. 530 00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:55,276 Look, I know that you have feelings for him... 531 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:58,009 and I'm sure you think I'm crazy for asking him out. 532 00:26:58,083 --> 00:27:00,176 But Blaine is obviously conflicted... 533 00:27:00,251 --> 00:27:02,082 and if he turns out not to be gay... 534 00:27:02,153 --> 00:27:03,848 well, then I guess I will have done you a favor. 535 00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:07,517 And I'm doing you a favor by telling you that Blaine... 536 00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:11,688 is the first of a long line of conflicted men that you will date... 537 00:27:11,763 --> 00:27:14,755 that will later turn out to be only the most flaming of homosexuals. 538 00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:16,926 Blaine and I have a lot in common. 539 00:27:17,002 --> 00:27:20,335 A sentiment expressed by many a hag about many a gay. 540 00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:22,930 Look, I don't doubt that you and Blaine... 541 00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:26,808 would have a jolly good time shopping at Burberry... 542 00:27:26,878 --> 00:27:29,745 and arguing who would make the better Rum Tum Tugger. 543 00:27:29,814 --> 00:27:31,941 I don't dispute that. 544 00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:35,714 But there's something you and Blaine will never have, and that's chemistry. 545 00:27:37,989 --> 00:27:40,150 Fine. 546 00:27:40,225 --> 00:27:42,750 Then I'm gonna prove you wrong. 547 00:27:42,827 --> 00:27:45,557 I'm gonna take the beer goggles off, and I'm gonna kiss him sober. 548 00:27:45,630 --> 00:27:47,655 And if the spark is still there... 549 00:27:47,732 --> 00:27:49,700 then I'm taking you to your bakery of choice... 550 00:27:49,768 --> 00:27:52,601 for a piping-hot slice of humble pie. 551 00:27:59,911 --> 00:28:03,438 Whoa! Easy, partner. 552 00:28:03,515 --> 00:28:06,143 - Can I get you something to drink? - Oh, no, no, no, no. 553 00:28:06,217 --> 00:28:08,617 - Taxi's waiting. - All right. 554 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,587 How are you not drunk? 555 00:28:10,655 --> 00:28:12,282 We drank exactly the same amount. 556 00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:13,824 I got a hollow leg. 557 00:28:13,892 --> 00:28:16,292 You got a hollow leg! 558 00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:20,161 - Hey, you gonna be okay? - Oh, yeah, yeah. 559 00:28:20,231 --> 00:28:23,166 I just- just got to grade some papers, and... 560 00:28:23,234 --> 00:28:26,032 I'm still looking for a song for the kids to sing... 561 00:28:26,104 --> 00:28:28,834 at the Alcohol Awareness assembly. 562 00:28:28,907 --> 00:28:32,934 - Oh. - Yes. Uh, the kids want to sing a Ke$ ha song... 563 00:28:33,011 --> 00:28:37,072 but, uh, it just makes drinking seem like a lot of fun. 564 00:28:37,148 --> 00:28:38,809 Sometimes it is fun. 565 00:28:38,883 --> 00:28:40,976 Exactly. 566 00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:43,145 Like tonight. 567 00:28:43,221 --> 00:28:45,018 That's the most fun I've had in a really long time. 568 00:28:45,090 --> 00:28:47,081 - I mean, we were careful. - Mm-hmm. 569 00:28:47,158 --> 00:28:49,251 - We didn't drive. - Mmm. Yeah. 570 00:28:49,327 --> 00:28:51,056 - What's wrong with that? - Nothin'. 571 00:28:51,129 --> 00:28:52,653 Nothin's wrong with that. 572 00:28:52,731 --> 00:28:54,790 Except we're not teenagers anymore, Will. 573 00:28:56,367 --> 00:28:57,959 You know? 574 00:28:58,036 --> 00:29:01,028 The way I see it, you can't just lecture kids. 575 00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:03,040 I mean, we can't stop them from drinking... 576 00:29:03,108 --> 00:29:05,406 if that's what they're gonna do. 577 00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:08,412 I mean, the best we can do is make them aware of the dangers... 578 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,143 and just hope they're smart enough to make a good decision on their own. 579 00:29:13,952 --> 00:29:16,785 I don't know. 580 00:29:16,855 --> 00:29:18,345 You nut. 581 00:29:18,423 --> 00:29:20,983 All right, buddy. I'm out of here. Don't get up. 582 00:29:21,059 --> 00:29:23,357 I'm not. I'm gonna stay right... 583 00:29:23,428 --> 00:29:24,622 - Hey. - Yes? 584 00:29:24,696 --> 00:29:26,789 You just make sure you drink lots of water. 585 00:29:26,865 --> 00:29:28,457 - Okay? - Mwah! 586 00:29:28,533 --> 00:29:30,433 I love you. 587 00:29:30,502 --> 00:29:31,901 Right back at you. 588 00:29:31,970 --> 00:29:35,531 Yay. Happy face. Okay. 589 00:29:37,308 --> 00:29:39,708 That was a valiant effort. 590 00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:42,338 You get A-plus. That's how I roll. 591 00:29:43,515 --> 00:29:45,483 I don't even know who you are. 592 00:29:50,288 --> 00:29:51,915 Oh, what the hell. 593 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:59,025 Hey there, sexy lady. 594 00:29:59,097 --> 00:30:04,501 I know it's late, and I know you're taken. 595 00:30:04,569 --> 00:30:06,560 I've had a couple drinks, but... 596 00:30:08,573 --> 00:30:12,942 there's something I r-really, really want to say to you. 597 00:30:16,314 --> 00:30:18,214 William! 598 00:30:18,283 --> 00:30:21,150 Can't wait to see what your New Directions are planning for the assembly. 599 00:30:21,219 --> 00:30:24,677 I know we've had issues with your kids performing in front of the school... 600 00:30:24,756 --> 00:30:27,054 but I have a really good feeling about this one. 601 00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:28,524 Why are you screaming? 602 00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:30,322 I'm not screaming. Are you okay? 603 00:30:30,395 --> 00:30:32,693 Oh, wow, your cologne is just really strong. 604 00:30:32,764 --> 00:30:34,595 It's Drakkar Noir! 605 00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,928 - Hey. - Emma. 606 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,231 Oh, Will, you look terrible. 607 00:30:39,304 --> 00:30:42,432 Considering how much I drank, I think I'm lucky to be alive. 608 00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,441 Although I kind of wish I was dead. 609 00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,740 - I am so embarrassed. - Why? 610 00:30:47,812 --> 00:30:51,407 I mean, besides the fact that you drank like a frat boy and you're well into your 30s. 611 00:30:51,482 --> 00:30:53,973 - Please don't make me say it. - Sorry? 612 00:30:54,052 --> 00:30:55,485 I don't even remember half the things I said to you. 613 00:30:55,553 --> 00:30:57,214 I-I'm not following. 614 00:30:57,288 --> 00:30:58,915 I-I drunk-dialed you last night. 615 00:30:58,990 --> 00:31:00,480 No, you didn't. 616 00:31:00,558 --> 00:31:02,389 I mean, I didn't get a single message. 617 00:31:02,460 --> 00:31:05,122 What would you have said that you'd be embarrassed about? 618 00:31:05,196 --> 00:31:07,960 Nothing. 619 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:11,934 I-I-I- Just must have been a really elaborate, uh, booze dream, yeah. 620 00:31:12,003 --> 00:31:13,800 It's time, Will. 621 00:31:13,872 --> 00:31:17,137 I've arranged to have you committed for 48 hours, and it's not gonna be easy. 622 00:31:17,208 --> 00:31:19,768 Those state institutions tend to turn the fire hose... 623 00:31:19,844 --> 00:31:21,903 on patients going through the D.T.'s. 624 00:31:21,980 --> 00:31:24,813 But at this point, I have no other option but a forced intervention. 625 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,750 Sue, I do not have a drinking problem. 626 00:31:27,819 --> 00:31:29,753 Really? Then what's with the Corey Hart imitation? 627 00:31:31,289 --> 00:31:32,847 Will, I'm trying to save you. 628 00:31:32,924 --> 00:31:35,484 Why? All you ever want to do is destroy me. 629 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,358 Yeah, well, it's kind of like nursing a P.O.W. back to health... 630 00:31:38,429 --> 00:31:40,693 so he's at his strongest when you torture him to death. 631 00:31:40,765 --> 00:31:42,198 All right, Will. 632 00:31:42,267 --> 00:31:45,202 You had your chance to do this the easy way. 633 00:31:45,336 --> 00:31:47,531 Soufflé is all about the whites. 634 00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:49,835 If you get yolk in it or you don't let it stiffen properly... 635 00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,967 then you might as well be making pancakes. 636 00:31:52,043 --> 00:31:55,069 All right. You think the one we already made is ready yet? 637 00:31:55,146 --> 00:31:58,604 - I hope so. - All right, let's check it out. 638 00:31:58,683 --> 00:32:01,174 Here we go. Ta-da. 639 00:32:01,252 --> 00:32:03,812 You didn't leave enough room in the dish to let it rise. 640 00:32:03,888 --> 00:32:05,856 Hey, I'm sorry. Why are you being so hard on me? 641 00:32:05,924 --> 00:32:08,620 I would've been happy with you teaching me to make toast. 642 00:32:08,693 --> 00:32:10,183 Okay. I'm sorry, Dad. 643 00:32:10,261 --> 00:32:13,128 I know this is supposed to be bonding time, but it's Blaine. 644 00:32:13,197 --> 00:32:16,098 He's interested in Rachel. 645 00:32:17,802 --> 00:32:19,326 I'm confused. I thought he was gay too. 646 00:32:19,404 --> 00:32:23,864 Oh, he is, he is. He's just... experimenting. 647 00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:26,536 Yeah. He's not the only one. 648 00:32:26,611 --> 00:32:28,010 What does that mean? 649 00:32:28,079 --> 00:32:31,674 Look, I need you to ask me before you have someone sleep over. 650 00:32:31,749 --> 00:32:34,445 We-We were fully clothed the entire time. 651 00:32:34,519 --> 00:32:36,578 Blaine was too drunk to drive, so I let him crash here. 652 00:32:36,654 --> 00:32:39,145 - I was being responsible. - You kids are drinking now? 653 00:32:39,223 --> 00:32:42,715 Finn and I didn't have any, if that's what you're worried about. 654 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:47,231 No. I'm worried about you being inappropriate in my house. 655 00:32:47,298 --> 00:32:51,860 And if Puckerman had a sleepover with Finn, would that be inappropriate? 656 00:32:51,936 --> 00:32:53,927 - That's different. - Because they wouldn't have sex? 657 00:32:54,005 --> 00:33:00,001 No, I would never allow Finn to have a girl sleep over in his bed. 658 00:33:00,078 --> 00:33:02,012 But would it make you uncomfortable if he did? 659 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,514 Hey, when have I been uncomfortable with you being gay? 660 00:33:04,582 --> 00:33:07,608 So it's not being gay that upsets you. It's just me acting on it. 661 00:33:07,685 --> 00:33:10,381 I don't know what two guys do when they're together. 662 00:33:10,455 --> 00:33:13,515 You know, I sat through that whole Brokeback Mountain. 663 00:33:13,591 --> 00:33:16,025 From what I gather, something went down in the tent. 664 00:33:16,094 --> 00:33:18,085 What do you want from me here, Dad? 665 00:33:18,162 --> 00:33:21,063 I want you to apologize for being inappropriate... 666 00:33:21,132 --> 00:33:23,657 and promise me you'll never do it again. 667 00:33:24,936 --> 00:33:28,736 Fine. I'm sorry. 668 00:33:28,806 --> 00:33:33,368 I won't have sleepovers with anyone that might be gay without asking you first. 669 00:33:33,444 --> 00:33:35,537 Thank you. 670 00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:45,589 But maybe you could step outside your comfort zone and educate yourself... 671 00:33:45,656 --> 00:33:50,025 so if I have any questions, I could go to my dad like any straight son could. 672 00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,826 Quiet, please. Quiet, please, children. 673 00:33:58,903 --> 00:34:01,337 I would like to wish you and yours... 674 00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:04,569 a healthy and happy Alcohol Awareness Week. 675 00:34:04,642 --> 00:34:07,270 Unfortunately, Kitty Dukakis could not be here... 676 00:34:07,345 --> 00:34:08,835 because of disinterest. 677 00:34:08,913 --> 00:34:11,814 But Lima Police Chief Lawrence Krowley... 678 00:34:11,883 --> 00:34:15,842 is here to show you a grisly slide show of auto accidents. 679 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:18,047 Take it away, Chief. 680 00:34:18,122 --> 00:34:20,249 - You guys, I'm really nervous. - Thank you, Principal Figgins. 681 00:34:20,324 --> 00:34:24,522 Ke$ ha's been a cultural icon for weeks, and I really want to do her music justice. 682 00:34:24,595 --> 00:34:26,654 - We haven't had enough rehearsal. - Or any at all. 683 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:29,131 And most of our assembly performances usually end in some kind of riot. 684 00:34:29,200 --> 00:34:31,191 Never fear, teammates. It's a Broadway tradition... 685 00:34:31,269 --> 00:34:33,601 for nervous performers to take a shot of whiskey before going on... 686 00:34:33,671 --> 00:34:36,504 to calm their nerves and to mask the stench of bad dental hygiene. 687 00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:38,838 In that tradition, I have mixed us a playful showbiz cocktail... 688 00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,504 of what was left in my dads' liquor cabinet. 689 00:34:41,579 --> 00:34:43,877 There's some brandy and vermouth and port wine and scotch in here. 690 00:34:43,948 --> 00:34:46,007 Also a little bit of Kool-Aid and some crumbled-up Oreos. 691 00:34:46,084 --> 00:34:48,211 Oh, my God. This tastes like cough syrup. 692 00:34:48,286 --> 00:34:49,776 - There's also cough syrup. - Cheers. 693 00:34:49,854 --> 00:34:52,186 - To Ke$ ha. - Cheers. - To Ke$ ha. 694 00:34:52,256 --> 00:34:54,019 Thank you, Chief. 695 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:56,458 And now, performing the hit single... 696 00:34:56,527 --> 00:34:58,392 "Tik" and also "Tok"... 697 00:34:58,463 --> 00:35:01,796 by rapper Ke-dollar-sign-ha... 698 00:35:01,866 --> 00:35:03,993 the New Directions. 699 00:35:07,305 --> 00:35:10,570 # Wake up in the mornin' feelin' like P. Diddy # 700 00:35:10,641 --> 00:35:12,302 - What up, girl? - # Grab my glasses, I'm out the door # 701 00:35:12,376 --> 00:35:15,368 - # I'm gonna hit this city # - Let's go. 702 00:35:15,446 --> 00:35:18,677 # Before I leave brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack # 703 00:35:18,749 --> 00:35:20,512 # 'Cause when I leave for the night # 704 00:35:20,585 --> 00:35:22,485 # I ain't comin' back # 705 00:35:22,553 --> 00:35:25,249 # I'm talkin' pedicure on our toes, toes # 706 00:35:25,323 --> 00:35:27,257 # Tryin' on all our clothes, clothes # 707 00:35:27,325 --> 00:35:29,316 # Boys blowin' up our phones, phones # 708 00:35:30,495 --> 00:35:33,589 # Drop-toppin', playin' our favorite CDs # 709 00:35:33,664 --> 00:35:35,359 # Goin' up to the parties # 710 00:35:35,433 --> 00:35:38,766 # Trying to get a little bit- tipsy # 711 00:35:38,836 --> 00:35:40,770 # Don't stop, make it pop # 712 00:35:40,838 --> 00:35:43,898 # Deejay, blow my speakers up tonight # 713 00:35:43,975 --> 00:35:46,739 # I'm-a fight till we see the sunlight # 714 00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,836 # Ticktock on the clock # 715 00:35:48,913 --> 00:35:51,177 # But the party don't stop, no # 716 00:35:51,249 --> 00:35:53,547 # Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh # 717 00:35:53,618 --> 00:35:55,279 # Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh # 718 00:35:55,353 --> 00:35:57,014 # Don't stop, make it pop # 719 00:35:57,088 --> 00:36:00,285 # Deejay, blow my speakers up tonight # 720 00:36:00,358 --> 00:36:02,724 # I'm-a fight till we see the sunlight # 721 00:36:02,793 --> 00:36:04,920 # Ticktock on the clock # 722 00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:07,965 # But the party don't stop, no # 723 00:36:08,032 --> 00:36:10,262 - I don't feel good. - Power through it! 724 00:36:10,334 --> 00:36:11,926 # Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh # 725 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:13,937 # You build me up # 726 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:15,996 # You break me down # 727 00:36:16,073 --> 00:36:17,665 # My heart, it pounds # 728 00:36:17,742 --> 00:36:19,539 # Yeah, you've got me # 729 00:36:19,610 --> 00:36:23,910 # With my hands up you've got me now # 730 00:36:23,981 --> 00:36:26,745 # You've got that sound Yeah, you've got me # 731 00:36:26,817 --> 00:36:27,977 # Oh, oh # 732 00:36:28,052 --> 00:36:29,883 # You build me up # 733 00:36:29,954 --> 00:36:31,649 # You break me down # 734 00:36:31,722 --> 00:36:33,656 # My heart, it pounds # 735 00:36:33,724 --> 00:36:35,214 # Yeah, you've got me # 736 00:36:35,293 --> 00:36:36,225 # Oh, Oh # 737 00:36:36,294 --> 00:36:37,886 # With my hands up # 738 00:36:37,962 --> 00:36:39,896 # Put your hands up # 739 00:36:39,964 --> 00:36:42,899 # Put your hands up # 740 00:36:42,967 --> 00:36:46,960 # Now, the party don't start till I walk in # 741 00:36:47,038 --> 00:36:48,972 # Don't stop, make it pop # 742 00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:52,009 # Deejay, blow my speakers up tonight # 743 00:36:52,076 --> 00:36:54,772 # I'm-a fight till we see the sunlight # 744 00:36:54,845 --> 00:36:56,972 # Ticktock on the clock # 745 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,743 # But the party don't stop, no # 746 00:36:58,816 --> 00:37:01,580 # Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-## 747 00:37:04,822 --> 00:37:06,255 Oh, my God. 748 00:37:15,299 --> 00:37:17,130 Everybody, drink responsibly. 749 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:23,971 Heads up, McKinley. 750 00:37:24,041 --> 00:37:27,272 Coach Sylvester's gonna shout at ya. 751 00:37:28,779 --> 00:37:31,646 Students, colleagues... 752 00:37:31,716 --> 00:37:35,482 Indeed, all who understand the Queen's English. 753 00:37:35,553 --> 00:37:37,282 We all still quake in terror... 754 00:37:37,355 --> 00:37:40,381 at what we witnessed yesterday at the assembly... 755 00:37:40,458 --> 00:37:44,394 by a Glee Club spiraling out of control. 756 00:37:44,462 --> 00:37:48,922 My nose is still filled with the acrid stench of teen vomit. 757 00:37:49,000 --> 00:37:52,026 And there is simply but one person to blame... 758 00:37:52,103 --> 00:37:56,802 the alcoholic teen-vomit fetishist Will Schuester... 759 00:37:56,874 --> 00:37:58,842 the director of that club. 760 00:37:58,909 --> 00:38:03,676 Two days ago, I received a drunk-dial in the middle of the night... 761 00:38:03,748 --> 00:38:05,648 - from a horny Will Schuester. - Oh, no. 762 00:38:05,716 --> 00:38:07,809 Open your ears, McKinley High... 763 00:38:07,885 --> 00:38:11,651 and behold the awful price of alcoholism. 764 00:38:12,790 --> 00:38:17,557 Hey there, sexy lady. 765 00:38:17,628 --> 00:38:20,722 There's something I really, really want to say to you. 766 00:38:20,798 --> 00:38:23,733 I love how you eat your lunch with your little plastic gloves... 767 00:38:23,801 --> 00:38:27,635 and they crinkle and make the cutest sound I've ever heard in my llfe. 768 00:38:27,705 --> 00:38:33,109 Why don't you pick up some wine coolers and come over here? 769 00:38:33,177 --> 00:38:35,702 And it'll be just one night of us just getting crazy. 770 00:38:35,780 --> 00:38:37,975 Let's just get crazy! 771 00:38:38,049 --> 00:38:40,950 Just get really crazy and roll around in the hay. 772 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,545 I was just in some hay earlier tonight. 773 00:38:44,622 --> 00:38:47,182 Hey, and I rode a bull, and I was thinking of you. 774 00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:53,963 Will Schuester... 775 00:38:54,031 --> 00:38:56,192 you've just been publicly humiliated. 776 00:38:56,267 --> 00:39:01,295 And on the road to recovery, it's the very first step. 777 00:39:09,947 --> 00:39:12,040 We're probably gonna get suspended. 778 00:39:12,116 --> 00:39:13,606 I think you'll definitely get suspended. 779 00:39:13,684 --> 00:39:16,118 - You'll probably all get suspended. - Oh, you're one to talk. 780 00:39:16,187 --> 00:39:19,554 How about you crack a Four Loko, Count Boozy von Drunk-a-ton? 781 00:39:23,060 --> 00:39:24,960 William, Glee Club. 782 00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:27,259 I have one word for you. 783 00:39:28,499 --> 00:39:29,898 Congratulations. 784 00:39:29,967 --> 00:39:33,733 Those special effects at the assembly really paid off! 785 00:39:33,804 --> 00:39:39,265 I had no idea what brilliant musical-comedy performers you all have become. 786 00:39:39,343 --> 00:39:41,504 The kids at this school are scared straight. 787 00:39:41,579 --> 00:39:43,376 Today is the first day in a month... 788 00:39:43,447 --> 00:39:47,781 without a single act of public drunkenness at McKinley High! 789 00:39:49,053 --> 00:39:50,782 And as a thank you... 790 00:39:50,855 --> 00:39:53,619 here are coupons for half-off frozen yogurt. 791 00:39:53,691 --> 00:39:55,283 Yum. 792 00:39:56,694 --> 00:39:59,322 William, I do think you need to see someone... 793 00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,763 about your sex and love addiction. 794 00:40:01,832 --> 00:40:04,357 I've talked to my pastor about you... 795 00:40:04,435 --> 00:40:08,098 and he's willing to meet you at your earliest convenience. 796 00:40:08,172 --> 00:40:09,400 Thank you. 797 00:40:09,473 --> 00:40:11,270 Okay. Achievement! 798 00:40:11,342 --> 00:40:13,310 Achievement! 799 00:40:13,377 --> 00:40:15,675 I'm torn. 800 00:40:15,746 --> 00:40:17,680 Part of me never wants to drink again because it made me so sick. 801 00:40:17,748 --> 00:40:20,546 But if it weren't for drinking, the assembly would have been a disaster. 802 00:40:20,618 --> 00:40:22,586 I, for one, am never drinking again. 803 00:40:22,653 --> 00:40:24,712 Being thrown up on- it just does something to a person. 804 00:40:24,789 --> 00:40:26,347 All right, guys. 805 00:40:26,424 --> 00:40:29,655 While I'm happy things worked out with the assembly... 806 00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:32,195 I never want to see you guys pull anything like that again. 807 00:40:32,263 --> 00:40:34,731 Drinking while performing is unprofessional. 808 00:40:34,799 --> 00:40:37,791 Drinking while at school is just stupid and, most importantly... 809 00:40:37,868 --> 00:40:39,665 any of you guys drinking at all is illegal. 810 00:40:39,737 --> 00:40:42,069 There's a fair amount of the pot calling the kettle black right now. 811 00:40:42,139 --> 00:40:43,936 That is so racist. 812 00:40:44,008 --> 00:40:47,273 I couldn't agree more, which is why I'm gonna stop drinking. 813 00:40:47,344 --> 00:40:50,074 Not even a beer at the end of the night to take the edge off. 814 00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:52,308 But if you don't drink, what will you have to live for? 815 00:40:52,383 --> 00:40:55,045 I have plenty in my life without beer. 816 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:57,383 Like what exactly? 817 00:40:57,455 --> 00:41:00,390 The point is I'm gonna stop. And I hope you guys do too. 818 00:41:00,458 --> 00:41:04,690 - Isn't that kind of unrealistic? - Yeah. Honestly, I think it is. 819 00:41:04,762 --> 00:41:07,196 Which is why I'm only gonna ask you to do it until after nationals. 820 00:41:07,264 --> 00:41:09,994 Consider yourselves like prize fighters... 821 00:41:10,067 --> 00:41:12,968 getting ready for a big heavyweight bout. 822 00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:17,838 Now, these are pledge forms, and I want you guys to sign them. 823 00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:20,206 And what if we fall off the wagon again? 824 00:41:20,277 --> 00:41:24,373 Look in the top corner of your form. That's my cell phone number. 825 00:41:24,448 --> 00:41:26,211 Yes! 826 00:41:26,283 --> 00:41:28,444 Part of your pledge is that if you do slip up... 827 00:41:28,519 --> 00:41:31,283 no matter where you are or what time of the night it is... 828 00:41:31,355 --> 00:41:34,290 I want you to call me to drive you home. 829 00:41:34,358 --> 00:41:36,826 We got lucky this time that the only consequences of your drinking... 830 00:41:36,894 --> 00:41:39,021 was some ill-timed vomiting. 831 00:41:39,096 --> 00:41:41,564 None of us wants to see any of you guys get hurt. 832 00:41:41,632 --> 00:41:43,395 Cool beans, Mr. Schue. I'll sign this. 833 00:41:43,467 --> 00:41:47,267 Me too. Alcohol has done nothing for my songwriting. 834 00:41:47,338 --> 00:41:49,397 What about after we win nationals? 835 00:41:55,679 --> 00:41:57,874 I'm buying the sparkling cider. 836 00:41:57,948 --> 00:41:59,245 Yes! 837 00:41:59,316 --> 00:42:01,079 You said he comes this way at 3:30. 838 00:42:01,151 --> 00:42:03,381 Like clockwork- for his postrehearsal medium drip. 839 00:42:03,454 --> 00:42:04,944 I just can't wait to lay one on him. 840 00:42:05,022 --> 00:42:07,149 I've got a bad feeling about this, Rachel. 841 00:42:07,224 --> 00:42:10,421 I don't mean to be a scold, but I don't want you to get hurt either. 842 00:42:10,494 --> 00:42:13,156 - There's no victory in this for me either way. - Who cares about you, buddy? 843 00:42:13,230 --> 00:42:15,630 I may get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally... 844 00:42:15,699 --> 00:42:17,758 and, in the future, give me vaguely Eurasian-looking children. 845 00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:20,804 There he is, dreamy as ever. 846 00:42:22,172 --> 00:42:23,969 Okay. Wish me luck. 847 00:42:24,041 --> 00:42:26,737 # I feel the earth move under my feet # 848 00:42:26,810 --> 00:42:29,335 - Hey, Rachel. What's going on? - # I feel the sky tumblin'down # 849 00:42:29,413 --> 00:42:31,108 # A-tumblin'down # 850 00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:34,776 # I feel the earth move under my feet # 851 00:42:34,852 --> 00:42:37,343 # I feel the sky tumblin'down # 852 00:42:37,421 --> 00:42:38,854 # A-tumblin'down # 853 00:42:38,923 --> 00:42:41,585 # I just lose control # 854 00:42:41,659 --> 00:42:44,822 Huh. Yup. 855 00:42:44,895 --> 00:42:47,295 I'm gay. 856 00:42:47,364 --> 00:42:48,695 100% gay. 857 00:42:48,766 --> 00:42:51,496 Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel. 858 00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:53,867 Save my space in line, will you? I gotta go hit the restroom. 859 00:42:53,938 --> 00:42:55,428 # All over # 860 00:42:55,506 --> 00:42:58,634 # I feel the earth move under my feet # 861 00:42:58,709 --> 00:43:00,301 # I feel the sky come... # 862 00:43:00,377 --> 00:43:03,972 - That was hard, wasn't it? - Are you kidding? 863 00:43:05,015 --> 00:43:07,677 That was amazing. I am speechless. 864 00:43:07,751 --> 00:43:11,209 I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay. 865 00:43:11,288 --> 00:43:14,121 That is songwriting gold. Oh! 866 00:43:14,191 --> 00:43:18,560 Okay. I have to go compose, but thank you. Thank you! 867 00:43:18,629 --> 00:43:21,962 # Tumblin'down ## 868 00:43:58,902 --> 00:43:59,891 English - US - SDH