1 00:00:01,735 --> 00:00:04,431 Kids, the heart is a mysterious muscle. 2 00:00:04,537 --> 00:00:06,903 You never really know what's going on in there. 3 00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,499 So after Uncle Marshall lost his father, he decided to get his heart checked. 4 00:00:10,610 --> 00:00:12,510 And so did I. 5 00:00:12,612 --> 00:00:14,273 And so did Lily. 6 00:00:14,381 --> 00:00:16,645 And so did Robin. 7 00:00:16,750 --> 00:00:20,015 And then Marshall went again, just to be sure. 8 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:22,020 There was only one holdout. 9 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,647 I don't need to go to a heart doctor. 10 00:00:24,758 --> 00:00:27,056 I drink every day, I sleep three hours every night... 11 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,855 and I have multiple sex partners. 12 00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:30,725 I'm doing everything right. 13 00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:33,731 Barney, this is important. We need you around for a long time. 14 00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:37,564 Without you, we'd have to find some other sex-fueled, depraved animal to entertain us. 15 00:00:37,670 --> 00:00:40,332 Actually, I'm thinking about getting a dog again. 16 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,671 - Oh, can she? Can she get a dog? Please, Ted. - No! 17 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:46,177 If you get a dog, I'm gonna be the one stuck taking care of it. 18 00:00:46,279 --> 00:00:48,713 - You wouldn't have to take care of it. - Really? 19 00:00:48,815 --> 00:00:51,943 And who watered the philodendron on your bookcase and sang it back to life? 20 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,520 Yeah. That was made out of silk, Ted. 21 00:00:54,621 --> 00:00:57,249 Okay, Robin, what you need is indeed something that buries a bone. 22 00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:00,224 But I'm not talking about a dog. I'm talking about a man. 23 00:01:00,326 --> 00:01:04,695 - Here we go. - You're clearly trying to fill a hole. In her heart. 24 00:01:04,798 --> 00:01:07,494 You feel like the seventh wheel because now Ted is with Zoey and Barney's with Nora... 25 00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:09,067 and Lily's with Big Fudge. 26 00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:12,434 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Big Fudge. 27 00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:16,498 "With?" I am not "with" Nora. 28 00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:18,372 Wrong preposition. 29 00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:21,106 Later tonight, I'm hoping to be on Nora. Right? 30 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,579 Or under Nora. Right? 31 00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:25,515 Or... We're all adults. I'll just say it. 32 00:01:25,618 --> 00:01:27,643 Behind Nora. 33 00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:30,052 I don't know. This will be your second date. 34 00:01:30,156 --> 00:01:33,216 Oh! Barney's got feelings for a girl. 35 00:01:33,326 --> 00:01:36,295 Yeah. Penis feelings. Because she's hot. 36 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:39,229 Guys, as you know, I only have one rule. 37 00:01:39,332 --> 00:01:41,061 Barney said this a lot. 38 00:01:41,167 --> 00:01:42,794 I only have one rule. 39 00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:46,861 If you're gonna get it on in a porta-potty, do it early in the day. 40 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,770 I only have one rule. 41 00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:52,572 Never screw over a girl whose last name ends in a vowel... 44 00:01:56,950 --> 00:02:00,647 Never date a girl with a hook for a hand. 45 00:02:01,888 --> 00:02:05,654 Never go out with the same girl more than once. 46 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:07,623 Then why are you going out with Nora again? 47 00:02:07,727 --> 00:02:09,456 There is an exception. 48 00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:11,621 And it was always the same exception. 49 00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,858 Unless she's hot. 50 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:15,798 Unless she's hot. 51 00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:17,802 Unless she's hot. 52 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:21,936 And she is indeed hot... 53 00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:24,202 which is why nothing... 54 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,971 not even God himself... 55 00:02:26,079 --> 00:02:27,774 Yeah, I said it, beardy... 56 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:31,681 is gonna stand in the way of tonight being legen... 57 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:33,479 Wait for it. 58 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,290 Uh-oh. 59 00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:52,964 - Hey, Nora, sorry I'm late. - Hey! 60 00:02:53,072 --> 00:02:54,835 I'm just getting over a cold. 61 00:02:54,941 --> 00:02:57,341 - Oh, no. How long have you been sick? - About 20 minutes. 62 00:02:57,443 --> 00:03:00,640 - Can't seem to shake it. - Okay. 'Cause I was gonna say you look a little, um... 63 00:03:00,747 --> 00:03:03,443 Handsome? Rich? Well-endowed? 64 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:10,189 Uh, let's say well-endowed... with phlegm. 65 00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,585 All right, let's go. It's bedtime. 66 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:16,252 The bed. 67 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,887 That's where all the... 68 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,166 happens. 69 00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:23,758 Come on. Let's get you sorted out. 70 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:27,101 That night, Barney didn't take care of business. 71 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,142 Instead, Nora took care of Barney. 72 00:03:44,991 --> 00:03:47,459 - Good night, Barney. - Good night, Mommy. 73 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:51,025 - Wow. She nursed you back to health? - No. 74 00:03:51,130 --> 00:03:53,621 I didn't even see her boobs. 75 00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:56,361 She just took care of me. 76 00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,937 Oh, hey, guys. This is Nate. 77 00:03:59,038 --> 00:04:00,699 - Nate, these are my friends. - What's up, guys? 78 00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,002 Nate Scooberman, but everyone calls me Scooby. 79 00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,543 Uh, I'd love to hang out, but I really gotta hit the john. 80 00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:08,375 Uh, yeah. It's right in there, Scooby. 81 00:04:08,481 --> 00:04:11,075 Thanks, brah. I like you guys. 82 00:04:12,151 --> 00:04:13,550 Oh, Robin. 83 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,713 If you weren't so much stronger than me, I would slap you. 84 00:04:16,823 --> 00:04:19,758 What? You told me to meet someone. 85 00:04:19,859 --> 00:04:21,850 I know. And look, he seems plenty nice. 86 00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:24,987 But I didn't mean bring home the first guy you bump into on the street. 87 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,498 Actually, I met him in the park. 88 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:30,091 Should've just let you get a dog. 89 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:33,695 Oh, I should go. Lily, can I talk to you for a second? 90 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:38,934 So, um, I made an appointment with that cardiologist. 91 00:04:39,045 --> 00:04:41,775 Aw, and you want me to go with you 'cause you're a little scared? 92 00:04:41,881 --> 00:04:43,246 No. 93 00:04:43,349 --> 00:04:45,749 Do you want me to go with you because you're a lot scared? 94 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,218 - Yes! - Okay, fine. 95 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,016 On one condition. 96 00:04:50,123 --> 00:04:53,115 You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora. 97 00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,387 She seems like something special. 98 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:58,862 Okay. I promise I won't lie to her. 99 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:01,593 I may, however, lie on her. 100 00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,601 # I said a-bang-bang bangity-bang # 101 00:05:03,703 --> 00:05:07,264 # I said a-bang-bang, bangity-bang bang-bang, bangity-bang # 102 00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:08,840 Are we done? 103 00:05:10,510 --> 00:05:12,341 # A-bang-bang, bangity-bang ## 104 00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:15,312 - Well, Barney, your heart sounds fine. - See, Lily? 105 00:05:15,415 --> 00:05:16,814 She was worried. 106 00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:19,282 Although it seems like you might have a slight arrhythmia. 107 00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,115 Ow! Nails! Nails! 108 00:05:22,221 --> 00:05:23,950 It's probably nothing to worry about, but... 109 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,649 I'd like you to wear this heart monitor... 110 00:05:25,758 --> 00:05:27,225 for the next 24 hours. 111 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,660 Twent... Flag on the play. Doc, I have a date tonight. 112 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:32,230 Don't worry. It's totally safe. 113 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:33,856 Unless part of your big date involves... 114 00:05:33,966 --> 00:05:35,558 connecting yourself to a car battery. 115 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:38,102 Well, now it doesn't. 116 00:05:39,772 --> 00:05:42,935 Exactly 24 hours later, they returned for the results. 117 00:05:43,042 --> 00:05:45,636 Okay, everything looks fine here. 118 00:05:45,745 --> 00:05:50,205 Although I did notice a few irregularities, there's nothing to be... 119 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,649 alarmed about. 120 00:05:54,587 --> 00:05:56,111 Go on, Doctor. 121 00:05:56,222 --> 00:06:00,181 What happened at 8:46 p.m. last night? 122 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:03,387 Well, let's see. Uh, Wheel of Fortune. 123 00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:06,488 Naked push-ups. Naked chin-ups. I was at dinner. 124 00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:11,366 This might be a little forward, but do you have a bomb strapped to your chest? 125 00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:12,870 This? No. No. 126 00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:15,099 It's a... a heart monitor. 127 00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:17,403 - It's a medical thing. - Oh. 128 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,604 I'm so sorry. I've been trying not to stare at your chest all night. 129 00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,704 What's that like? 130 00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:24,715 So, is everything okay? 131 00:06:24,817 --> 00:06:28,184 My friend's dad passed away from a sudden heart attack... 132 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,687 so I'm just getting myself checked out too. 133 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,621 Oh, I am so sorry. 134 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,020 Thanks. 135 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:40,264 Uh, Barney, what I'm about to say... 136 00:06:40,366 --> 00:06:42,027 is gonna sound a little weird... 137 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:46,196 but I think I'm starting to like you, so I have to say it. 138 00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:48,933 Well, for what it's worth, I'm not easily shocked. 139 00:06:49,041 --> 00:06:52,408 Unless you dump water on me, 'cause I'll just... 140 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:53,809 No, what is it? 141 00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:55,437 I want to get married. 142 00:06:55,548 --> 00:06:59,314 I mean, not tonight, or even to you necessarily. 143 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,284 But that's what I want. 144 00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:05,153 And if that's gonna scare you off, then I'd rather it scare you off now. 145 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,488 I want a family. 146 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,993 And I want to live in a little house with a garden... 147 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:12,326 and a tree for the kids to climb. 148 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,061 And I want to go to sleep every night with the same person by my side... 149 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:19,605 and wake up next to him in the morning, every morning, for the rest of our lives. 150 00:07:21,674 --> 00:07:23,574 Just thought you should know that. 151 00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:27,769 You have to promise me you won't lie to Nora! 152 00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,083 That's exactly what I want too. 153 00:07:39,592 --> 00:07:42,493 I'm really into gardening, but these squirrels keep messing with my tomatoes. 154 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:45,086 Every time I see 'em in the backyard, I'm, like, "Get outta here!" 155 00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:48,190 They run off, but sure enough, a few minutes later there they are again. 156 00:07:48,301 --> 00:07:51,270 And I'm like, "Get outta here!" So annoying. 157 00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:53,304 I smell food. 158 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,204 Does this place have a kitchen? I'll be right back. 159 00:07:57,677 --> 00:08:02,376 Okay, but you have to admit that he is a lot of fun. 160 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:05,110 Oh, I actually think he's quite intelligent for what he is. 161 00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,947 - And what is he? - He's a dog. 162 00:08:07,053 --> 00:08:10,022 - He's totally a dog. - What? You saw him hitting on someone? 163 00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:12,022 No, no. I didn't say "He a dawg." 164 00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,558 I said, "He's a dog," as in a dog. 165 00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:17,720 I think we've all noticed a few curious mannerisms. 166 00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,958 Or, uh, rather, dog-erisms. 167 00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,968 Uh, Scooby, the tag's still on your jeans. 168 00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,537 Where? 169 00:08:33,946 --> 00:08:35,573 Okay, Scooby. You ready? 170 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:40,214 - Ohh! - Good boy, Scooby! 171 00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:41,980 Good job, Scoob. 172 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:44,488 That last one did not happen. 173 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:45,818 - Okay, you're right. - He dropped it. 174 00:08:45,925 --> 00:08:47,654 He's not a dog. 175 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,558 Robin, it's fine. You said you wanted a dog, and you got one. 176 00:08:50,663 --> 00:08:53,097 And the best part is he got his shots. 177 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,666 Hey, guys. Got my shots. 178 00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:57,099 - You are so playful. - Nice job fetching those. 179 00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,103 - Guys. - Yeah, guys, cut it out. 180 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,435 Scooby, sit. 181 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,671 So, Scooby, if you're gonna be hanging out with our Robin, you should be properly vetted. 182 00:09:05,778 --> 00:09:09,839 Uh, yeah. And we hope our nosiness doesn't give you pause. 183 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,382 How did you meet? 184 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,349 - Tell us the tale. - Yes, how did you whisk her off her feet? 185 00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,716 - Shed a little light on the matter. - Did you send her an e-mail? 186 00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:18,381 - Or did you call 'er? - Guys, stop hounding him. 187 00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,692 Oh, geez. 188 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:23,489 No, you're right, Robin. We don't want your new guy to flee. 189 00:09:23,596 --> 00:09:26,292 We're just trying to make sure he's not a heel. 190 00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:29,232 So, moving from Canada, that transition must've been pretty rough. 191 00:09:29,335 --> 00:09:32,031 Sure was. My part of Canada's pretty different from New York. 192 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:34,538 Oh, I bet it was an incredible journey. 193 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:36,574 What part of Canada is that? Speak. 194 00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:38,769 Labrador. 195 00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,641 This isn't happening. 196 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:43,010 Hey, Nate, why don't you go play some music on the jukebox. 197 00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:44,878 - No, I'm good. - Oh, shoot. 198 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:46,975 - Dropped my keys. - I'll get 'em. 199 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,879 Hey, guys. This is Nora. 200 00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,980 - Hey. - Hey. How are you? 201 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,116 - Nice to meet you. - Hi. 202 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,626 We were just passing by, and I wanted to pop in for two reasons. 203 00:09:56,729 --> 00:09:59,721 First, I wanted to let you know that your friend Barney is being a perfect gentleman. 204 00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,390 Well, it's still early. 205 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:05,334 I'm being serious. I had no idea that deep down he's such a romantic. 206 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:07,633 I had no idea he had a deep down. 207 00:10:07,740 --> 00:10:09,571 Oh, you should've heard him at dinner. 208 00:10:09,675 --> 00:10:12,303 I mean, I like being single... 209 00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:15,903 but, secretly, I want to have kids. 210 00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:18,779 - How many do you want? - Three. One of each. 211 00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:21,075 - You? - Three. 212 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:24,748 - All in an old stone house. - Yeah, with ivy growing on it. 213 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:27,917 - Cocktails on the patio. - And we must have a pool. 214 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:29,358 We? 215 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:32,588 Pool sounds brilliant. 216 00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:35,660 Are you for real, Barney? 217 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,102 I really am. 218 00:10:39,205 --> 00:10:41,605 - Unbelievable. - I know. Right? 219 00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:44,801 And the second reason we popped in is 'cause I need to use the loo. 220 00:10:44,910 --> 00:10:48,607 But when I get back, I'm dying to hear all about Mr. Softy here. 221 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:51,649 I assure you, that's not a nickname that l... 222 00:10:53,052 --> 00:10:56,783 And that explains your 14-second cardiac arrest. 223 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,954 Barney, you promised you wouldn't lie. 224 00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,459 I'm not lying. 225 00:11:02,561 --> 00:11:05,189 Guys, Nora's really special. 226 00:11:05,297 --> 00:11:07,356 In fact, I think I'm... 227 00:11:08,467 --> 00:11:10,458 falling in love with her. 228 00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,503 Guys, I'm serious! 229 00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,805 I'm not gonna let you do this. When Nora gets back here, I'm blowin' the whistle. 230 00:11:18,911 --> 00:11:21,243 Just make sure it's not a high-frequency whistle... 231 00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:23,713 because we don't want to torture Robin's boyfriend. 232 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:25,215 Guys, this is real. 233 00:11:25,317 --> 00:11:28,081 And if you don't make me look good in front of Nora... 234 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,987 just remember, I have got dirt on each of you and I am not afraid to spill it. 235 00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,992 Barney, you can't blackmail us into lying to Nora. 236 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:36,220 Really, Lily? 237 00:11:36,328 --> 00:11:38,956 Even if I were to mention... oh, I don't know... 238 00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:41,226 your kindergarten class's pet guinea pig? 239 00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:42,891 Mr. Buttons! 240 00:11:43,002 --> 00:11:45,232 You son of a bitch! 241 00:11:45,337 --> 00:11:46,929 Fine. I'll be nice. 242 00:11:47,039 --> 00:11:49,007 - Marshall? - You got nothin' on me. 243 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:50,939 - The calzone? - Checkmate. 244 00:11:52,044 --> 00:11:54,137 - Robin? - Don't say the Mr. T dream. 245 00:11:54,246 --> 00:11:56,441 Don't say the Mr. T dream. Don't say the Mr. T dream. 246 00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:59,416 The Mr. T dream. 247 00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:01,349 - Ted? - Go ahead. 248 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,945 Give me your best. My life's an open book. 249 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:07,514 - The ballet class. - I once took a ballet class. Not ashamed. 250 00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:10,959 - The 'N Sync concert. - 1998, Cleveland's Gund Arena. 251 00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:13,531 Front row. Caught J.C.'s shirt. What else ya got? 252 00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:17,035 Okay, Ted. The thermos. 253 00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:20,128 I suppose it's possible Barney has real feelings for Nora. 254 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,639 I do! So be cool. 255 00:12:24,510 --> 00:12:28,207 There's a man back there who seems fascinated by the records flipping in the jukebox. 256 00:12:29,915 --> 00:12:31,610 Sorry, toots. He's taken. 257 00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:34,551 So, how do you all know Barney? 258 00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,553 Oh, I don't know. How do we know Barney? 259 00:12:36,655 --> 00:12:39,215 How does anyone know how they know anyone? 260 00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,589 I like your pretty hair. Help me. 261 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:45,653 We did not meet him at a strip club. No, sir. 262 00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:50,327 Because... Barney don't go to no strip clubs. 263 00:12:50,436 --> 00:12:53,064 - Oh, come on. Barney's been to a strip club once. - Once? 264 00:12:53,172 --> 00:12:54,969 - Thermos. - Nope. Not even once. 265 00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:56,666 Really? 266 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,801 So Barney really is a genuinely nice guy? 267 00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:05,549 I don't recall. 268 00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:07,551 Okay, I think that we're done here. 269 00:13:07,653 --> 00:13:11,020 I think that we have adequately established that Barney is... 270 00:13:11,123 --> 00:13:14,149 the kind of guy that you would bring home to meet your parents. 271 00:13:14,260 --> 00:13:16,251 Okay, so let's just drop it. All right? 272 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:17,761 That's funny you should say that... 273 00:13:17,863 --> 00:13:20,161 because, as it happens, my parents are in town. 274 00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,166 They're only here, like, once a year. 275 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:25,101 We're getting brunch tomorrow. Do you want to meet them? 276 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,365 This was a big deal for Barney. 277 00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,771 I only have one rule. 278 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:33,971 Never, ever, ever meet a girl's parents. 279 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:39,440 - Not even if she's hot? - Not even if her mom's hot. 280 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:41,952 I'd love to meet your parents. 281 00:13:42,888 --> 00:13:45,948 It's a date. We should get going. 282 00:13:46,058 --> 00:13:48,151 - Walk me home? - Walk? Somebody say walk? 283 00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:50,626 - I'll go for a walk. I love a good walk. - No, Scooby. 284 00:13:50,729 --> 00:13:52,663 You, uh, stay. 285 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:59,069 Oh, no. I got called back into work. 286 00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,639 Can you keep an eye on him until I get back? 287 00:14:01,740 --> 00:14:04,436 - He's new to the city and he doesn't really know anyone. - I knew it. 288 00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:07,740 - I knew, if you got a dog, I'd wind up taking care of it. - He's not a... 289 00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:08,973 Stop it! 290 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:10,912 Good night. 291 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:13,352 What do we do now? Oh! I got an idea. 292 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,651 What do we do now? Oh! I got an idea. 293 00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:19,519 I was in the park today, and this guy sold me a big bag of... 294 00:14:19,625 --> 00:14:22,594 Kids, it was a big bag of sandwiches. 295 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,323 - Whoa! - Put that away. 296 00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:27,922 - You guys wanna fire these up? - Scooby, we're in our 30s. 297 00:14:28,033 --> 00:14:30,092 We don't smoke sandwiches anymore. 298 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,170 - Sandwich brownies? - Okay. 299 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:36,237 Sandwiches make me hungry. 300 00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,604 Truth. 301 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,008 - Hey, I have a question. - Yeah? 302 00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:44,048 What did Barney mean when he said "calzone"? 303 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:47,711 - Okay, I'll tell you. - Okay. 304 00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:52,348 One time Barney saw me drop a calzone on the sidewalk... 305 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:54,722 pick it up and then keep eating it. 306 00:14:54,827 --> 00:14:57,853 - It feels so good to finally say that out loud. - Dude. 307 00:14:57,963 --> 00:14:59,590 Listen to me. 308 00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,791 You have nothing to be ashamed of. 309 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,892 That calzone sounds amazing. 310 00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,874 Guys, I found this on the floor. 311 00:15:10,976 --> 00:15:12,739 Oh, my God. 312 00:15:12,845 --> 00:15:14,574 Scooby ate the whole tray. 313 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:15,942 Ruh-roh! 314 00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:18,850 Wait. Where is he anyway? 315 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,441 Oh, dude. 316 00:15:20,552 --> 00:15:22,247 Scooby got out! 317 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,692 Here we are. 318 00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:31,293 I had a really great time tonight. 319 00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:32,796 Yeah, me too. 320 00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,763 Do you wanna come upstairs? 321 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,942 I'd love to. 322 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,908 There's just one little thing, and it probably doesn't matter, but... 323 00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:53,342 I don't want to get married. 324 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:56,615 I've been saying that all night just to get in your pants. 325 00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:02,153 Can you belie... 326 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:10,858 Oh, my God! I found Scooby's wallet! 327 00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,701 Oh, no! That means the poor guy's out there with no identification. 328 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:17,298 Robin! Hey, hey, um, remember Scooby? 329 00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:19,969 - Uh, well, he got out. - "Got out"? What do you mean? 330 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,604 He just walked out of the apartment. Someone must've left the door open. 331 00:16:22,715 --> 00:16:24,376 - It wasn't me. - Me neither. 332 00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:28,146 He must've figured out how to open it himself. 333 00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:31,347 He's so smart. We should get him on Letterman doing tricks. 334 00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:34,449 I know Paul Shaffer's sandwich guy. This could happen. 335 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,586 Guys! Get yourselves together and start looking for Scooby. 336 00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,290 - I'm on my way home. - Wait, wait! Robin! 337 00:16:40,399 --> 00:16:42,924 Can you pick up some calzones? 338 00:16:43,936 --> 00:16:46,131 Nora, wait, wait. 339 00:16:46,238 --> 00:16:48,229 I'm sorry I mislead you. 340 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:51,969 Mislead? You lied to me! You had your friends lie to me! 341 00:16:52,077 --> 00:16:54,307 I was on the spot. This is your fault. 342 00:16:54,413 --> 00:16:57,382 - My fault? - Yeah, with the whole "I want to get married" thing. 343 00:16:57,483 --> 00:17:01,579 You just can't tell someone exactly what you want out of a relationship. 344 00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:02,915 This... 345 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,081 isn't England. 346 00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:08,716 Good-bye, Barney. 347 00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:13,361 - Scooby! - Scoob! 348 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:16,628 - Hey, great idea. - Uh, no. Great idea! 349 00:17:16,735 --> 00:17:19,863 Okay, if you were new in town and had just ingested an eighth of sandwich... 350 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,872 where would you go? 351 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:23,464 Of course. 352 00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,406 Back to the pizza place! 353 00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:28,378 - Yeah! Maybe that's where Scooby went. - Who's Scooby? 354 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,880 - Hey, guys. - Hey, have you seen Scooby? 355 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,543 Uh, yeah. Isn't that him taking a leak on that fire hydrant? 356 00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,048 Scooby! 357 00:17:38,123 --> 00:17:39,852 Oh, hey! It's my friends! 358 00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:42,188 No! 359 00:17:42,294 --> 00:17:42,394 And that explains 12:51 a.m. 360 00:17:42,394 --> 00:17:45,591 And that explains 12:51 a.m. 361 00:17:45,697 --> 00:17:49,394 Okay, none of this suggests a systemic issue. Your heart's fine. 362 00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:54,029 With a healthy diet you can live a long and happy life, if nobody stabs you. 363 00:17:54,139 --> 00:17:55,697 Day's not over. 364 00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,672 Okay, Lily... 365 00:17:58,777 --> 00:18:01,803 I'm sorry that I lied about wanting to settle down. 366 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,882 No, that wasn't the lie. 367 00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:06,712 The lie was when you told Nora you were lying. 368 00:18:06,819 --> 00:18:08,218 Because you weren't. 369 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,618 You want that stuff, Barney. I know you do. 370 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:16,425 Okay, maybe eventually I could settle down... 371 00:18:17,396 --> 00:18:18,863 50 years from now... 372 00:18:18,964 --> 00:18:21,728 if I have, like, a Hefner thing goin' on with some really hot twins. 373 00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,324 But those twins... 374 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,598 won't even be born for another... 375 00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,172 32 years. 376 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,442 I mean, Nora's great. 377 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:33,408 She's wonderful, but... 378 00:18:33,512 --> 00:18:35,070 What time was your dinner reservation? 379 00:18:35,180 --> 00:18:36,909 Last night? 8:30. 380 00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:39,176 What did his heart do at 8:30? 381 00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:53,423 It literally skipped a beat. 382 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,961 Your heart's talkin' to you, Barney. 383 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:59,970 Do you have the guts to listen to it? 384 00:19:04,343 --> 00:19:07,835 # Stones that I # 385 00:19:07,946 --> 00:19:10,380 # Carry # 386 00:19:11,583 --> 00:19:13,278 # Around # 387 00:19:19,691 --> 00:19:21,784 - I lied. - Barney. 388 00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:25,455 - When I said I lied, that was a lie, and I'm sorry. - I'm confused. 389 00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:27,293 So am I. 390 00:19:27,399 --> 00:19:31,859 This. All of this. This is totally new to me. But I know it's what I want. 391 00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:35,235 I want to be confused with you. 392 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:41,370 # I have to search # 393 00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:45,177 Mom, Dad, this is Barney. 394 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:48,481 Hi. I'm Barney. Great to meet you. 395 00:19:48,587 --> 00:19:51,488 Hey, you wanna see a magic trick? 396 00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:54,616 # Sharp as a marble # 397 00:19:54,726 --> 00:20:00,164 # These stones keep my feet on the ground # 398 00:20:06,738 --> 00:20:11,869 # All this experience # 399 00:20:12,945 --> 00:20:16,972 # Weighs me down ## 400 00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:08,800 English - US - SDH