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00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,001
NARRATOR:
Kids, the heart is
a mysterious muscle.
2
00:00:04,002 --> 00:00:06,086
You never really know
what's going on in there.
3
00:00:06,087 --> 00:00:08,538
So after Uncle Marshall
lost his father,
4
00:00:08,539 --> 00:00:10,474
he decided to get
his heart checked.
5
00:00:10,475 --> 00:00:12,042
And so did I--
6
00:00:12,043 --> 00:00:13,877
and so did Lily--
7
00:00:13,878 --> 00:00:16,080
and so did Robin.
8
00:00:16,081 --> 00:00:18,682
And then Marshall went again
just to be sure.
9
00:00:18,683 --> 00:00:21,885
There was only one holdout.
10
00:00:21,886 --> 00:00:23,721
I don't need to go
to a heart doctor.
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00:00:23,722 --> 00:00:27,324
I drink every
day, I sleep three
hours every night,
12
00:00:27,325 --> 00:00:28,993
and I have multiple
sex partners.
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I'm doing everything right.
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Barney, come on,
this is important.
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00:00:31,863 --> 00:00:33,731
We need you around
for a long time.
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Without you, we'd have to find
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00:00:35,233 --> 00:00:37,368
some other sex-fueled,
depraved animal to entertain us.
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00:00:37,369 --> 00:00:38,435
ROBIN:
Actually,
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00:00:38,436 --> 00:00:40,170
I'm thinking about
getting a dog again.
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00:00:40,171 --> 00:00:42,122
Oh, can she? Can she get
a dog, please Dad?
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00:00:42,123 --> 00:00:43,457
TED:
No. If you get a dog,
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00:00:43,458 --> 00:00:45,976
I'm going to be the one stuck
taking care of it.
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00:00:45,977 --> 00:00:47,578
You wouldn't have
to take care of it.
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00:00:47,579 --> 00:00:49,647
Really? And who watered
the philodendron
25
00:00:49,648 --> 00:00:51,749
on your bookcase
and sang it back to life?
26
00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:54,351
Yeah, that was made
out of silk, Ted.
27
00:00:54,352 --> 00:00:57,254
Okay, Robin, what you
need is indeed something
that buries a bone,
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00:00:57,255 --> 00:00:58,789
but I'm not talking
about a dog.
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I'm talking about a man.
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Here we go.
31
00:01:01,259 --> 00:01:03,560
You're clearly trying
to fill a hole-- in her heart.
32
00:01:03,561 --> 00:01:06,830
You feel like the seventh wheel,
because now Ted is with Zoey
33
00:01:06,831 --> 00:01:08,899
and Barney's with Nora
and Lily's with Big Fudge.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
Big Fudge.
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"With"?
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I am not "with" Nora.
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Wrong preposition.
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Later tonight I'm hoping
to be on Nora, right?
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00:01:20,945 --> 00:01:22,813
Or under Nora, right?
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00:01:22,814 --> 00:01:24,948
Or, we're all adults,
I'll just say it--
41
00:01:24,949 --> 00:01:26,850
behind Nora.
44
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(singsong voice):
Oh, Barney's got
feeling for a girl.
45
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Yeah. Penis feelings.
46
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Because she's hot.
47
00:01:36,194 --> 00:01:37,478
Guys, as you know,
48
00:01:37,479 --> 00:01:38,795
I only have one rule...
49
00:01:38,796 --> 00:01:40,864
NARRATOR:
Barney said this a lot.
50
00:01:40,865 --> 00:01:42,599
I only have one rule:
51
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,269
if you're gonna get it on
in a Port-O-Potty,
52
00:01:45,270 --> 00:01:46,987
do it early in the day.
53
00:01:46,988 --> 00:01:48,639
I only have one rule:
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00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,974
Never screw over a girl
whose last name
55
00:01:50,975 --> 00:01:52,643
ends in a vowel.
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00:01:52,644 --> 00:01:54,111
'Cause she's got brothers.
57
00:01:54,112 --> 00:01:55,746
I only have one rule:
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00:01:55,747 --> 00:02:01,618
Never date a girl
with a hook for a hand.
59
00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:05,489
Never go out with
the same girl more than once.
60
00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:07,508
Then why are you going
out with Nora again?
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00:02:07,509 --> 00:02:08,992
There is an exception.
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00:02:08,993 --> 00:02:11,195
And it was always
the same exception.
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00:02:11,196 --> 00:02:13,764
...unless she's hot.
64
00:02:13,765 --> 00:02:15,666
...unless she's hot.
65
00:02:15,667 --> 00:02:19,169
...unless she's hot. Arr!
66
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,739
And she is indeed hot.
67
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:25,809
Which is why nothing,
not even God himself--
68
00:02:25,810 --> 00:02:27,861
yeah, I said it, Beardy--
69
00:02:27,862 --> 00:02:31,115
is going to stand in the way
of tonight being legend...
70
00:02:31,116 --> 00:02:32,983
Wait for it.
71
00:02:32,984 --> 00:02:35,018
(sneezes)
72
00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:38,322
Uh-oh.
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00:02:51,035 --> 00:02:52,770
(with nasal congestion):
Hey, Nora, sorry I'm late.
74
00:02:52,771 --> 00:02:54,671
I'm just, uh, just
getting over a cold.
75
00:02:54,672 --> 00:02:56,373
Oh, no. How long
have you been sick?
76
00:02:56,374 --> 00:02:58,642
About 20 minutes.
Can't seem to shake it.
77
00:02:58,643 --> 00:03:01,545
Okay, 'cause I was going
to say you look a little...
78
00:03:01,546 --> 00:03:03,514
Handsome? Rich?
Well-endowed?
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00:03:03,515 --> 00:03:05,149
(coughs)
80
00:03:05,150 --> 00:03:06,517
(sneezes)
81
00:03:06,518 --> 00:03:10,020
Huh, let's say
well-endowed-- with phlegm.
82
00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:11,121
(coughs)
83
00:03:11,122 --> 00:03:14,391
All right, let's go.
It's bedtime.
84
00:03:14,392 --> 00:03:16,627
The bed-- that's where
all the...
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00:03:16,628 --> 00:03:18,762
(hacking)
86
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:19,797
(noisy hawking)
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00:03:19,798 --> 00:03:22,032
...happens.
88
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Come on, let's get
you sorted out.
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That night, Barney didn't
take care of business.
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00:03:25,637 --> 00:03:27,571
(violin playing lullaby)
91
00:03:27,572 --> 00:03:29,590
Instead, Nora took care
of Barney.
92
00:03:34,212 --> 00:03:36,780
Ah. Thank you.
93
00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:38,549
(violin playing lullaby)
94
00:03:44,055 --> 00:03:45,722
Good night, Barney.
95
00:03:45,723 --> 00:03:47,458
Good night, Mommy.
96
00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,093
Wow, she nursed you
back to health?
97
00:03:50,094 --> 00:03:52,663
No. I didn't even
see her boobs.
98
00:03:53,498 --> 00:03:55,232
She just took care of me.
99
00:03:55,233 --> 00:03:56,934
(door opening)
100
00:03:56,935 --> 00:03:58,702
Oh, hey, guys.
This is Nate.
101
00:03:58,703 --> 00:04:00,504
Nate, these
are my friends.
What's up. guys?
102
00:04:00,505 --> 00:04:03,040
Nate Scooberman. But
everyone calls me Scooby.
103
00:04:03,041 --> 00:04:05,442
I'd love to hang out,
but I really gotta hit the john.
104
00:04:05,443 --> 00:04:07,211
Uh, yeah, it's right in here...
105
00:04:07,212 --> 00:04:08,245
Scooby.
106
00:04:08,246 --> 00:04:09,413
Thanks, brah.
107
00:04:09,414 --> 00:04:11,114
I like you guys.
108
00:04:11,916 --> 00:04:13,383
Oh, Robin,
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00:04:13,384 --> 00:04:16,553
if you weren't so much stronger
than me, I would slap you.
110
00:04:16,554 --> 00:04:19,556
What? You told me
to meet someone.
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00:04:19,557 --> 00:04:21,258
I know, and, look,
he seems plenty nice,
112
00:04:21,259 --> 00:04:23,293
but I didn't mean bring home
the first guy
113
00:04:23,294 --> 00:04:24,895
you bump into on the street.
114
00:04:24,896 --> 00:04:27,264
Actually, I met him in the park.
115
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Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
116
00:04:28,333 --> 00:04:29,967
Should have just
let you get a dog.
117
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:32,636
Oh, oh, I should go. Lily,
can I talk to you for a second?
118
00:04:35,607 --> 00:04:38,809
So, um, I made an appointment
with that cardiologist.
119
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:40,444
Aw, and you want me
to go with you
120
00:04:40,445 --> 00:04:41,678
'cause you're a little scared?
121
00:04:41,679 --> 00:04:43,113
No.
122
00:04:43,114 --> 00:04:45,649
Do you want me to go with you
because you're a lot scared?
123
00:04:45,650 --> 00:04:46,850
Yes!
124
00:04:46,851 --> 00:04:48,151
Okay, fine.
125
00:04:48,152 --> 00:04:49,586
On one condition.
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00:04:49,587 --> 00:04:52,122
You have to promise me
you won't lie to Nora.
127
00:04:52,123 --> 00:04:54,291
She seems like
something special.
128
00:04:54,292 --> 00:04:58,629
Okay, I promise
I won't lie to her.
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00:04:58,630 --> 00:05:00,230
I may, however,
lie on her.
130
00:05:00,231 --> 00:05:04,001
I said, bang-bang,
bangity-bang.
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00:05:04,002 --> 00:05:05,469
♪ Bang-bang-bang,
bangity-bang ♪
132
00:05:05,470 --> 00:05:07,271
♪ Bang, bang,
bangity bang... ♪
133
00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:09,223
Are we done?
134
00:05:09,974 --> 00:05:12,142
♪ A bang-bang,
bangity-bang. ♪
135
00:05:12,143 --> 00:05:13,510
Well, Barney,
your heart sounds fine.
136
00:05:13,511 --> 00:05:15,212
See, Lily?
137
00:05:15,213 --> 00:05:16,647
She was worried.
138
00:05:16,648 --> 00:05:19,149
Although it seems like you might
have a slight arrhythmia.
139
00:05:19,150 --> 00:05:21,919
Ow! Nails, nails!
140
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,287
It's probably nothing
to worry about,
141
00:05:23,288 --> 00:05:25,489
but I'd like you to wear
this heart monitor
142
00:05:25,490 --> 00:05:27,124
for the next 24 hours.
143
00:05:27,125 --> 00:05:29,293
Twen... Flag on the play, Doc.
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00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,527
I have a date tonight.
145
00:05:30,528 --> 00:05:32,095
DOCTOR:
Don't worry. It's totally safe.
146
00:05:32,096 --> 00:05:33,530
Unless part of your big date
147
00:05:33,531 --> 00:05:35,465
involves connecting yourself
to a car battery.
148
00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:37,700
Well, now it doesn't.
149
00:05:39,069 --> 00:05:43,706
And exactly 24 hours later,
they returned for the results.
150
00:05:43,707 --> 00:05:46,159
Okay, everything
looks fine here,
151
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:49,645
although I did notice
a few irregularities.
152
00:05:49,646 --> 00:05:50,847
There's nothing to be...
153
00:05:52,116 --> 00:05:54,117
...alarmed about.
154
00:05:54,118 --> 00:05:55,852
Go on, Doctor.
155
00:05:55,853 --> 00:05:57,720
What happened
156
00:05:57,721 --> 00:05:59,655
at 8:46 p.m. last night?
157
00:05:59,656 --> 00:06:02,825
Well, let's see...
158
00:06:02,826 --> 00:06:05,595
Uh, Wheel of Fortune, naked
push-ups, naked chin-ups...
159
00:06:05,596 --> 00:06:06,930
I was at dinner.
160
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:09,265
This might be
a little forward,
161
00:06:09,266 --> 00:06:11,834
but do you have a bomb
strapped to your chest?
162
00:06:11,835 --> 00:06:13,303
This? No, no.
163
00:06:13,304 --> 00:06:14,971
It's a heart monitor.
164
00:06:14,972 --> 00:06:17,840
It's a medical thing.
165
00:06:17,841 --> 00:06:19,342
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I've been trying
166
00:06:19,343 --> 00:06:21,010
not to stare
at your chest all night.
167
00:06:21,011 --> 00:06:23,179
(chuckles)
What's that like?
168
00:06:23,180 --> 00:06:25,114
So is everything okay?
169
00:06:25,115 --> 00:06:29,052
My friend's dad passed away
from a sudden heart attack.
170
00:06:29,053 --> 00:06:31,154
So I'm just getting
myself checked out, too.
171
00:06:31,155 --> 00:06:33,089
Oh, I am so sorry.
172
00:06:33,090 --> 00:06:35,658
Thanks.
173
00:06:37,461 --> 00:06:40,563
Um, Barney, what
I'm about to say
174
00:06:40,564 --> 00:06:42,799
is going to sound
a little weird,
175
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:46,636
but I think I'm starting to like
you, so I have to say it.
176
00:06:46,637 --> 00:06:48,738
Well, for what it's worth,
I'm not easily shocked.
177
00:06:48,739 --> 00:06:50,974
Unless you dump water on me,
'cause I'll just...
178
00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,175
(imitates electrical crackling)
179
00:06:52,910 --> 00:06:54,277
No. What is it?
180
00:06:54,278 --> 00:06:55,945
I want to get married.
181
00:06:55,946 --> 00:06:58,081
I mean, not tonight,
182
00:06:58,082 --> 00:06:59,816
or even to you, necessarily.
183
00:06:59,817 --> 00:07:01,618
But that's what I want.
184
00:07:01,619 --> 00:07:03,253
And if that's going
to scare you off,
185
00:07:03,254 --> 00:07:05,588
then I'd rather
it scare you off now.
186
00:07:05,589 --> 00:07:07,123
(electronic beeping)
I want a family,
187
00:07:07,124 --> 00:07:09,292
and I want to live
in a little house
188
00:07:09,293 --> 00:07:12,128
with a garden and a tree
for the kids to climb.
189
00:07:12,129 --> 00:07:14,731
(rapid beeping)
And I want to go
to sleep every night
190
00:07:14,732 --> 00:07:16,666
with the same person
by my side,
191
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:19,769
and wake up next to him
in the morning every morning
(very rapid beeping)
192
00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:21,971
for the rest
of our lives.
(steady electronic tone)
193
00:07:21,972 --> 00:07:24,207
Just thought
you should know that.
194
00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:28,444
You have to promise me
you won't lie to Nora!
195
00:07:29,913 --> 00:07:33,716
That's exactly
what I want, too.
196
00:07:40,164 --> 00:07:42,598
I'm really into gardening,
but these squirrels keep
messing with my tomatoes.
197
00:07:42,599 --> 00:07:44,016
Every time I see them
in the backyard,
198
00:07:44,017 --> 00:07:45,284
I'm like, "Get out of here!"
199
00:07:45,285 --> 00:07:46,769
And they run off,
but sure enough,
200
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,371
a few minutes later,
there they are again.
201
00:07:48,372 --> 00:07:49,939
And I'm like,
"Get out of here!"
202
00:07:49,940 --> 00:07:50,706
So annoying.
203
00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:52,308
(sniffing)
I smell food.
204
00:07:52,309 --> 00:07:53,676
Does this place
have a kitchen?
205
00:07:53,677 --> 00:07:54,877
I'll be right back.
206
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:59,248
Okay, but you have to admit
207
00:07:59,249 --> 00:08:01,684
that he is a lot of fun.
208
00:08:01,685 --> 00:08:02,752
Oh, I actually think
209
00:08:02,753 --> 00:08:04,320
he's quite intelligent
for what he is.
210
00:08:04,321 --> 00:08:05,354
And what is he?
211
00:08:05,355 --> 00:08:06,322
He's a dog.
212
00:08:06,323 --> 00:08:07,557
He's totally a dog.
213
00:08:07,558 --> 00:08:09,225
What? You saw him
hitting on someone?
214
00:08:09,226 --> 00:08:11,060
No, I didn't say,
"He a dawg."
215
00:08:11,061 --> 00:08:13,896
I said, "He's a dog."
As in, a dog.
216
00:08:13,897 --> 00:08:16,532
I think we've all noticed
a few curious mannerisms.
217
00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:20,002
Or rather, doggerisms.
218
00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:23,439
Uh, Scooby, the tag's
still on your jeans.
219
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,107
Where?
220
00:08:34,117 --> 00:08:35,901
Okay, Scooby, you ready?
221
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:38,787
TED/MARSHALL:
Oh!
222
00:08:38,788 --> 00:08:39,705
Good boy, Scooby!
223
00:08:39,706 --> 00:08:42,023
Good job, Scoob!
Good boy!
224
00:08:42,024 --> 00:08:44,693
That last one did not happen.
TED:
Okay, you're right.
225
00:08:44,694 --> 00:08:46,027
He dropped it.
226
00:08:46,028 --> 00:08:47,829
He's not a dog.
227
00:08:47,830 --> 00:08:48,930
Robin, it's fine.
228
00:08:48,931 --> 00:08:51,133
You said you wanted a dog
and you got one.
229
00:08:51,134 --> 00:08:53,301
And the best part is,
he got his shots.
230
00:08:53,302 --> 00:08:54,870
Hey, guys, got my shots.
231
00:08:54,871 --> 00:08:56,037
You are so playful.
232
00:08:56,038 --> 00:08:57,873
Nice job fetching those.
Guys...
233
00:08:57,874 --> 00:08:59,091
Yeah, guys, cut it out.
234
00:08:59,092 --> 00:09:00,175
Scooby, sit.
235
00:09:00,176 --> 00:09:02,511
So, Scooby,
we were thinking
236
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:04,379
if you're going to be
hanging out with our Robin,
237
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:05,747
you should be
properly vetted.
238
00:09:05,748 --> 00:09:09,884
Uh, yeah. We hope our nosiness
doesn't give you "paws."
239
00:09:09,885 --> 00:09:11,586
How did you meet?
Tell us the "tail""
240
00:09:11,587 --> 00:09:13,455
Yes, how did you "whisker"
off her feet?
241
00:09:13,456 --> 00:09:14,923
Shed a little light
on the matter.
242
00:09:14,924 --> 00:09:17,225
Did you send her an e-mail,
or did you "collar"?
243
00:09:17,226 --> 00:09:18,727
Guys, just stop hounding him.
244
00:09:19,295 --> 00:09:20,862
Oh, geez.
245
00:09:20,863 --> 00:09:21,897
No, no, you're
right, Robin.
246
00:09:21,898 --> 00:09:23,365
We don't want your
new guy to "flea."
247
00:09:23,366 --> 00:09:25,467
We're just trying to make
sure he's not a heel.
248
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:27,335
So, moving from Canada,
249
00:09:27,336 --> 00:09:29,404
that transition must have
been pretty "ruff."
250
00:09:29,405 --> 00:09:32,107
Sure was. My part of Canada's
pretty different from New York.
251
00:09:32,108 --> 00:09:34,576
Oh, I bet it was
an "Incredible Journey""
252
00:09:34,577 --> 00:09:37,546
What part of Canada
is that? Speak.
Labrador.
253
00:09:37,547 --> 00:09:38,880
(laughing)
254
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:40,749
ROBIN:
Hey, Nate,
255
00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:43,084
why don't you go play
some music on the jukebox.
256
00:09:43,085 --> 00:09:45,520
No, I'm good.
Oh, shoot,
dropped my keys.
257
00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:47,189
I'll get 'em.
Okay.
258
00:09:47,190 --> 00:09:49,975
Hey, guys, this is Nora.
259
00:09:49,976 --> 00:09:52,127
Hey.
Hey, how are you.
Hey.
260
00:09:52,128 --> 00:09:53,428
Nice to meet you.
How's it going?
261
00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:54,946
We were just passing by,
262
00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:56,698
and I wanted to pop in
for two reasons.
263
00:09:56,699 --> 00:09:58,099
First, I wanted
to let you know
264
00:09:58,100 --> 00:09:59,901
that your friend Barney
is being a perfect gentleman.
265
00:09:59,902 --> 00:10:01,536
Well, it's still early.
266
00:10:01,537 --> 00:10:02,938
I'm being serious.
267
00:10:02,939 --> 00:10:05,507
I had no idea
that deep down,
he's such a romantic.
268
00:10:05,508 --> 00:10:07,776
I had no idea he
had a deep down.
269
00:10:07,777 --> 00:10:09,544
Oh, you should have
heard him at dinner.
270
00:10:09,545 --> 00:10:12,414
I mean, I like
being single,
271
00:10:12,415 --> 00:10:16,017
but secretly,
I want to have kids.
272
00:10:16,018 --> 00:10:17,085
How many do you want?
273
00:10:17,086 --> 00:10:18,954
Three-- one of each.
274
00:10:18,955 --> 00:10:20,388
You?
275
00:10:20,389 --> 00:10:23,425
Three.
All in an old stone house.
276
00:10:23,426 --> 00:10:24,960
Yeah, with ivy growing on it.
277
00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:26,461
Cocktails on the patio.
278
00:10:26,462 --> 00:10:28,096
And we must have a pool.
279
00:10:28,097 --> 00:10:29,698
We?
280
00:10:31,133 --> 00:10:32,934
A pool sounds brilliant.
281
00:10:34,103 --> 00:10:35,837
Are you for real, Barney?
282
00:10:35,838 --> 00:10:38,106
I really am.
283
00:10:39,275 --> 00:10:40,809
Unbelievable.
284
00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:41,877
I know, right?
285
00:10:41,878 --> 00:10:43,311
And the second reason
we popped in
286
00:10:43,312 --> 00:10:45,030
is 'cause I need
to use the loo.
287
00:10:45,031 --> 00:10:46,498
But when I get back,
288
00:10:46,499 --> 00:10:49,484
I'm dying to hear all about
Mr. Softy here.
289
00:10:49,485 --> 00:10:51,820
I assure you, that's not
a nickname that I...
290
00:10:51,821 --> 00:10:53,054
(wheezing groan)
291
00:10:53,055 --> 00:10:57,125
And that explains your
14-second cardiac arrest.
292
00:10:58,794 --> 00:11:01,129
Barney, you promised
you wouldn't lie.
293
00:11:01,130 --> 00:11:05,367
I'm not lying!
Guys, Nora's really special.
294
00:11:05,368 --> 00:11:06,468
In fact...
295
00:11:06,469 --> 00:11:08,303
I think I'm...
296
00:11:08,304 --> 00:11:09,871
falling in love with her.
297
00:11:11,207 --> 00:11:13,308
(Robin/Ted/Lily/Marshall
shouting at once)
298
00:11:13,309 --> 00:11:15,677
Guys! I'm serious.
299
00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:17,178
I'm not going to
let you do this.
300
00:11:17,179 --> 00:11:18,980
When Nora gets back here,
I'm blowing the whistle.
301
00:11:18,981 --> 00:11:21,316
Just make sure it's not
a high-frequency whistle,
302
00:11:21,317 --> 00:11:23,184
because we don't want to
torture Robin's boyfriend.
303
00:11:23,886 --> 00:11:25,387
Guys, this is real.
304
00:11:25,388 --> 00:11:28,189
And if you don't make me
look good in front of Nora,
305
00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:30,258
just remember: I've got dirt
on each of you,
306
00:11:30,259 --> 00:11:32,093
and I am not afraid to spill it.
307
00:11:32,094 --> 00:11:35,163
Barney, you can't blackmail us
into lying to Nora.
308
00:11:35,164 --> 00:11:36,431
Really, Lily?
309
00:11:36,432 --> 00:11:39,234
Even if I were to mention,
oh, I don't know...
310
00:11:39,235 --> 00:11:41,369
your kindergarten class's
pet guinea pig?
311
00:11:41,370 --> 00:11:43,238
(gasps)
Mr. Buttons?
312
00:11:43,239 --> 00:11:45,640
Oh, you son of a bitch.
313
00:11:45,641 --> 00:11:47,075
Fine. I'll be nice.
314
00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:49,144
Marshall?
You got nothing on me.
315
00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:51,112
The calzone?
Checkmate.
316
00:11:51,113 --> 00:11:52,814
Robin.
317
00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:55,383
Don't say the Mr. T dream,
don't say the Mr. T dream,
318
00:11:55,384 --> 00:11:56,618
don't say the Mr. T dream...
319
00:11:56,619 --> 00:11:57,852
The Mr. T dream...
320
00:11:57,853 --> 00:11:59,588
I'm lost.
321
00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:00,755
Ted?
322
00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,757
Go ahead. Give me your best.
323
00:12:02,758 --> 00:12:04,125
My life's an open book.
324
00:12:04,126 --> 00:12:05,360
The ballet class.
325
00:12:05,361 --> 00:12:07,662
I once took a ballet class.
Not ashamed.
326
00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:09,431
The 'N Sync concert.
327
00:12:09,432 --> 00:12:12,133
1998. Cleveland's Gund Arena,
front row. Caught JC's shirt.
328
00:12:12,134 --> 00:12:13,702
What else you got?
329
00:12:13,703 --> 00:12:15,704
Okay, Ted.
330
00:12:15,705 --> 00:12:17,205
The thermos.
331
00:12:17,206 --> 00:12:20,308
I suppose it's possible Barney
has real feelings for Nora.
332
00:12:20,309 --> 00:12:22,961
I do! So be cool!
333
00:12:25,247 --> 00:12:26,848
There's a man back there
who seems fascinated
334
00:12:26,849 --> 00:12:28,550
by the records
flipping in the jukebox.
335
00:12:29,318 --> 00:12:31,753
Sorry, toots.
He's taken.
336
00:12:31,754 --> 00:12:34,689
So. How do you
all know Barney?
337
00:12:34,690 --> 00:12:36,324
Oh, I don't know
how we know Barney.
338
00:12:36,325 --> 00:12:38,526
How does anyone know
how they know anyone?
339
00:12:38,527 --> 00:12:40,895
(giggles nervously)
I like your pretty hair,
help me.
340
00:12:40,896 --> 00:12:44,733
We did not meet him
at a strip club.
341
00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:45,867
MARSHALL:
No, sir.
342
00:12:45,868 --> 00:12:47,769
Because...
343
00:12:47,770 --> 00:12:50,438
Barney don't go
to no strip clubs.
344
00:12:50,439 --> 00:12:52,574
Oh, come on. Barney's been
to a strip club once.
345
00:12:52,575 --> 00:12:53,808
Once?
Thermos.
346
00:12:53,809 --> 00:12:55,110
Nope. Not even once.
347
00:12:55,111 --> 00:12:59,147
Really? So Barney really
is a genuinely a nice guy.
348
00:13:04,253 --> 00:13:05,920
I don't recall.
349
00:13:05,921 --> 00:13:08,523
Okay, I think that we're done
here, I think that we have
350
00:13:08,524 --> 00:13:11,192
adequately established
that Barney is...
351
00:13:11,193 --> 00:13:14,195
the kind of guy that you would
bring home to meet your parents.
352
00:13:14,196 --> 00:13:16,398
Okay? So... let's just
drop it, all right?
353
00:13:16,399 --> 00:13:17,649
It's funny you
should say that,
354
00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:20,101
because, as it happens,
my parents are in town.
355
00:13:20,102 --> 00:13:22,037
They're only here
like once a year.
356
00:13:22,038 --> 00:13:23,772
We're getting
brunch tomorrow.
357
00:13:23,773 --> 00:13:25,240
Do you want to meet them?
358
00:13:25,241 --> 00:13:27,375
NARRATOR:
This was a big deal for Barney.
359
00:13:27,376 --> 00:13:28,710
I only have one rule.
360
00:13:28,711 --> 00:13:29,878
(all sigh)
361
00:13:29,879 --> 00:13:34,182
Never, ever, ever
meet a girl's parents.
362
00:13:34,183 --> 00:13:36,785
Not even if she's hot?
363
00:13:36,786 --> 00:13:39,521
Not even if her mom's hot.
364
00:13:39,522 --> 00:13:41,456
I'd love to meet your parents.
365
00:13:42,158 --> 00:13:44,292
It's a date.
366
00:13:45,327 --> 00:13:47,095
Well, we should get
going. Walk me home?
367
00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:48,263
SCOOBY:
Walk? Somebody
say walk?
368
00:13:48,264 --> 00:13:50,548
I'll go for a walk.
I love a good walk.
369
00:13:50,549 --> 00:13:53,001
No, Scooby, you, uh...
stay!
370
00:13:57,239 --> 00:13:58,907
Oh, no. I got called
back in to work.
371
00:13:58,908 --> 00:14:01,009
Can you keep an eye
on him until I get back?
372
00:14:01,010 --> 00:14:03,061
He's new to the city, and he
doesn't really know anyone.
373
00:14:03,062 --> 00:14:05,780
I knew it. I knew it.
I knew if you got a dog,
374
00:14:05,781 --> 00:14:08,066
I'd wind up taking
care of it.
He's not a--
375
00:14:09,151 --> 00:14:11,236
Good night.
376
00:14:13,322 --> 00:14:14,723
What do we do now?
377
00:14:14,724 --> 00:14:16,491
Oh! I got an idea.
378
00:14:16,492 --> 00:14:19,561
I was in the park today, and
this guy sold me a big bag of...
379
00:14:19,562 --> 00:14:22,731
NARRATOR:
Kids, it was a big bag
of sandwiches.
380
00:14:22,732 --> 00:14:25,433
Whoa.
Put that away.
381
00:14:25,434 --> 00:14:28,336
You guys want
to fire these up?
Scooby, we're in our 30s.
382
00:14:28,337 --> 00:14:30,205
We don't smoke
sandwiches anymore.
383
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,340
Sandwich brownies?
Okay.
384
00:14:32,341 --> 00:14:34,109
(giggling)
385
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:36,411
Sandwiches make me hungry.
386
00:14:36,412 --> 00:14:38,747
Truth. Hey.
387
00:14:38,748 --> 00:14:40,148
I have a question.
Yeah?
388
00:14:40,149 --> 00:14:44,185
What did Barney mean
when he said "calzone"?
389
00:14:44,186 --> 00:14:47,822
Okay, I'll tell you.
Okay.
390
00:14:47,823 --> 00:14:52,727
One time Barney saw me drop
a calzone on the sidewalk,
391
00:14:52,728 --> 00:14:54,529
pick it up,
and then keep eating it.
392
00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:58,032
It feels so good to finally
say that out loud. I...
Dude.
393
00:14:58,033 --> 00:14:59,734
Listen to me.
394
00:14:59,735 --> 00:15:02,070
You have nothing
to be ashamed of.
395
00:15:02,071 --> 00:15:04,239
That calzone sounds amazing.
396
00:15:08,077 --> 00:15:11,045
Guys, I found this on the floor.
397
00:15:11,046 --> 00:15:13,047
Oh, my God.
398
00:15:13,048 --> 00:15:14,783
Scooby ate the whole tray.
399
00:15:14,784 --> 00:15:16,117
Ruh-roh!
400
00:15:16,118 --> 00:15:19,554
Wait. Where is he, anyway?
401
00:15:19,555 --> 00:15:20,972
Oh, dude.
402
00:15:20,973 --> 00:15:22,590
Scooby got out!
403
00:15:24,610 --> 00:15:26,778
Here we are.
404
00:15:26,779 --> 00:15:31,466
I had a really
great time tonight.
405
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:34,068
Yeah, me, too.
406
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:41,976
Do you want to come upstairs?
407
00:15:41,977 --> 00:15:45,280
I'd love to.
408
00:15:47,383 --> 00:15:48,850
There's just
one little thing,
409
00:15:48,851 --> 00:15:51,119
and it probably
doesn't matter, but...
410
00:15:51,120 --> 00:15:52,620
I don't want to get married.
411
00:15:52,621 --> 00:15:55,356
I've been saying that all night
just to get in your pants.
412
00:15:56,792 --> 00:15:57,959
Whoa!
413
00:15:58,794 --> 00:16:00,595
Oh! Ahh!
414
00:16:00,596 --> 00:16:03,744
Can you believe...
415
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:12,314
Oh, my God! I found
Scooby's wallet.
MARSHALL:
Oh, no!
416
00:16:12,349 --> 00:16:15,079
That means the poor guy's out
there with no identification.
417
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:19,083
Robin! Hey. Hey, um, remember
Scooby? Uh, well, he got out.
418
00:16:19,084 --> 00:16:20,351
"Got out"? What do you mean?
419
00:16:20,352 --> 00:16:21,919
He just walked out
of the apartment.
420
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,388
Someone must've
left the door open.
421
00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:24,856
(whispering):
It wasn't me.
Me neither.
422
00:16:24,857 --> 00:16:26,290
(gasps)
423
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:28,526
He must've figured out
how to open it himself.
424
00:16:28,527 --> 00:16:29,760
TED:
He's so smart.
425
00:16:29,761 --> 00:16:31,729
We should get him on Letterman
doing tricks.
426
00:16:31,730 --> 00:16:33,314
MARSHALL:
I know Paul Schaffer's
427
00:16:33,315 --> 00:16:34,832
sandwich guy.
This could happen.
428
00:16:34,833 --> 00:16:37,568
Guys. Get yourselves together
and start looking for Scooby.
429
00:16:37,569 --> 00:16:39,070
I'm on my way home.
430
00:16:39,071 --> 00:16:40,738
Wait wait! Robin.
431
00:16:40,739 --> 00:16:42,490
Can you pick up some calzones?
432
00:16:44,309 --> 00:16:46,577
Wait-- Nora, wait. Wait.
433
00:16:46,578 --> 00:16:48,713
I'm sorry I misled you.
434
00:16:48,714 --> 00:16:50,715
Misled? You lied to me!
435
00:16:50,716 --> 00:16:52,283
You had your friends lie to me!
436
00:16:52,284 --> 00:16:55,586
I was on the spot.
This is your fault.
My fault?
437
00:16:55,587 --> 00:16:57,755
Yeah, with the whole "I want
to get married" thing.
438
00:16:57,756 --> 00:17:00,725
You can't just tell someone
exactly what you want
439
00:17:00,726 --> 00:17:02,059
out of a relationship.
440
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:05,696
This... isn't England.
441
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,333
Good-bye, Barney.
442
00:17:11,703 --> 00:17:12,803
ROBIN:
Scooby!
443
00:17:12,804 --> 00:17:14,155
Scoob!
444
00:17:14,156 --> 00:17:17,208
Great idea.
No, great idea!
445
00:17:17,209 --> 00:17:18,709
Okay. If you were new in town
446
00:17:18,710 --> 00:17:21,329
and had just ingested an eighth
of sandwich, where would you go?
447
00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:24,182
Of course.
448
00:17:24,183 --> 00:17:25,783
Back to the pizza place!
449
00:17:25,784 --> 00:17:27,318
Yeah! Maybe that's
where Scooby went.
450
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:28,786
Who's Scooby?
451
00:17:28,787 --> 00:17:31,322
Hey, guys.
Hey, have you seen Scooby?
452
00:17:31,323 --> 00:17:34,158
Uh, yeah. Isn't that him taking
a leak on that fire hydrant?
453
00:17:35,761 --> 00:17:37,495
Scooby!
454
00:17:37,496 --> 00:17:40,264
Oh, hey! It's my friends!
455
00:17:40,265 --> 00:17:42,667
ALL: No!
(brakes squealing)
456
00:17:42,668 --> 00:17:46,504
And that explains 12:51 a.m.
457
00:17:46,505 --> 00:17:48,506
Okay. None of this suggests
a systemic issue.
458
00:17:48,507 --> 00:17:49,840
Your heart's fine.
459
00:17:49,841 --> 00:17:52,643
With a healthy diet, you can
live a long and happy life.
460
00:17:52,644 --> 00:17:54,512
If nobody stabs you.
461
00:17:54,513 --> 00:17:56,147
Day's not over.
462
00:17:56,148 --> 00:17:58,282
Okay.
463
00:17:58,283 --> 00:18:02,286
Lily, I'm sorry that I lied
about wanting to settle down.
464
00:18:02,287 --> 00:18:04,255
No, that wasn't the lie.
465
00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:06,791
The lie was when you told Nora
you were lying.
466
00:18:06,792 --> 00:18:08,226
Because you weren't.
467
00:18:08,227 --> 00:18:10,995
You want that stuff, Barney,
I know you do.
468
00:18:10,996 --> 00:18:17,084
(sighs)
Okay. Maybe, eventually,
I could settle down.
469
00:18:17,085 --> 00:18:20,638
50 years from now, if I have
like a Hefner thing going on
470
00:18:20,639 --> 00:18:22,173
with some really hot twins.
471
00:18:22,174 --> 00:18:23,741
But those twins
472
00:18:23,742 --> 00:18:28,613
won't even be born
for another... 32 years.
473
00:18:28,614 --> 00:18:29,981
I mean...
474
00:18:29,982 --> 00:18:33,818
Nora's great.
She's wonderful. But...
475
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:35,520
What time was
your dinner reservation?
476
00:18:35,521 --> 00:18:37,355
Last night? 8:30.
477
00:18:37,356 --> 00:18:39,790
What did his heart do at 8:30?
478
00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:43,461
(rhythmic EKG beeping)
479
00:18:43,462 --> 00:18:46,797
(rhythmic beeping continues)
480
00:18:46,798 --> 00:18:48,733
(EKG beeping stops)
481
00:18:48,734 --> 00:18:50,568
(beeping resumes)
482
00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:54,038
It... literally
skipped a beat.
483
00:18:55,107 --> 00:18:57,308
Your heart's talking to you,
Barney.
484
00:18:57,309 --> 00:18:59,443
Do you have the guts
to listen to it?
485
00:19:04,716 --> 00:19:08,219
♪ Stones that I ♪
486
00:19:08,220 --> 00:19:11,856
♪ Carry ♪
487
00:19:11,857 --> 00:19:13,658
♪ Around ♪
488
00:19:13,659 --> 00:19:15,443
♪ ♪
489
00:19:20,265 --> 00:19:22,166
I lied.
Barney.
490
00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:24,835
When I said I lied,
that was a lie, and I'm sorry.
491
00:19:24,836 --> 00:19:26,837
I'm confused.
So am I.
492
00:19:26,838 --> 00:19:30,308
This, all of this,
this is totally new to me,
493
00:19:30,309 --> 00:19:32,310
but I know it's what I want.
494
00:19:32,311 --> 00:19:33,978
I want to be confused.
495
00:19:33,979 --> 00:19:35,846
With you.
496
00:19:40,852 --> 00:19:43,654
Mom, Dad...
497
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:45,256
this is Barney.
498
00:19:45,257 --> 00:19:46,524
Hi.
499
00:19:46,525 --> 00:19:48,859
I'm Barney.
Great to meet you.
500
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:50,845
Hey, you want to see
a magic trick?
501
00:19:50,846 --> 00:19:55,799
♪ Sharp as a marble ♪
502
00:19:55,800 --> 00:20:02,173
♪ These stones keep my feet
on the ground ♪
503
00:20:08,146 --> 00:20:12,049
♪ All this experience ♪
504
00:20:12,050 --> 00:20:14,001
♪ Weighs me down. ♪
505
00:20:15,979 --> 00:20:24,923
== ReSync by jacobian ==
== for hdbits.org ==