In New York City's war on crime,
the worst criminal offenders are pursued
by the detectives of the Major Case Squad.
These are their stories.
Then she started making goo-goo eyes at Mike.
He got all bashful.
Come on, that lady was like 80 years old.
Ed, we've been driving around for half an hour.
I'm getting dizzy. I got it.
It's the next block.
That's nice. What kind of wood is it?
Jichimu, "chicken-wing wood. "
If you get tired of it, you can eat it.
I can't believe this.
Oh, no.
I'll talk to her.
I don't know what you're talking about.
She's whacked.
All right, you guys go back to the car.
Go away.
Leave it alone!
Yo, I need two cigarettes.
We don't sell loosies and you're underage. Beat it.
They're not home.
Come on, I got money.
Save it for college. Now out!
Oh, look, they're so adorable.
Oh, wait, look at this one with all the little hearts.
Hey, stop it! What do you think you're gonna do with that?
Hey!
The lady took two in the chest. No purse, no ID, and no wits.
The casings are all. 22s. Seventh mugging in a month in the area.
Why we're here.
The male victim's at Bellevue?
With a shoulder shot. Michael Pike, he lives three blocks over.
Unconscious when they found him.
The slug was flattened against the sidewalk.
He must've been down when he took the hit.
MP, Michael Pike. She must be his girlfriend.
Smells like she's had a couple of drinks.
So did Mr. Pike.
We'll need a dumpster and sewer search, five blocks in each direction,
for a weapon and a purse.
Someone was picking at a poster back there.
Could have been the killer, cooped up there, waiting for his mark.
Look, so the girl rounds the corner,
killer doesn't see the boyfriend.
Makes his move.
She doesn't give up the goods fast enough, he shoots her.
As a girl, walking alone with her boyfriend 30 steps behind her?
Not my idea of a romantic stroll.
Dana was looking at this baby store
and some people came up behind us, and then she... I heard...
She said, "What are you gonna do with that?"
And then he shot her. He shot her.
You get a good look at these people?
No.
The guy who shot her was wearing a hood.
I tried to help, but I fell.
Anyone we can call for you? You know, family or a friend?
My whole family is in San Diego.
You can call Ed, my friend Ed. His number's in my wallet.
We're very sorry, Mr. Pike.
It says, "Caption World. " You make captions?
For the hearing-impaired.
I'm also an actor. That's how Dana and me met, in acting class.
When she was shot at the corner, were you far away from her?
I had the ring out. I was thinking about what I was gonna say.
You were gonna propose to her?
We're sorry, we didn't find any ring.
You take it out, maybe to look at it?
Just once, before we left the Rocket Inn.
I was waiting for Dana, and that's when I made up my mind to ask.
He sat right there. The lovebirds. They come in every Friday night.
Before they left, did you notice anybody next to him,
maybe paying too much attention to him?
A skinny Hispanic kid.
Leather coat, a hoodie. He was trying to buy cigarettes.
He had a girl with him, a black girl, had a baby face. She was wearing a hairnet.
Anything else you notice about her? Tattoo, jewelry, rings?
No rings, but her hand was all red and covered with some kind of ointment,
which I noticed after she stuck it in the peanut bowl.
Um...
Uh... Hairnet?
You know, a burn? Maybe she works in a kitchen?
Hmm.
What's around here, closes late?
There's a cupcake bakery a couple of blocks over.
They hire a lot of kids from the projects.
I told them. I found it on the street last night, Mama.
Hush up. She's not answering any more questions.
The girl's 15, but as long as her mother runs interference, we're not gonna get anything.
Take her downstairs for photos and prints.
Margie, we need to get some pictures and fingerprints.
Don't forget your soda.
Thank you, ma'am.
Not easy raising a daughter.
I raised three of my own.
This is them, a few years ago anyway.
This one here. She's our wild child. I used to find myself wishing
someone could just pluck the bad influences out of her life.
Your daughter is a good student.
She got herself a part-time job.
We don't think she was involved in what happened last night.
But there's a bad influence somewhere, some boy she's impressed with.
He's already gotten her into this trouble and it's only the beginning.
He might talk her into running away with him.
But if we knew who he was, where we could find him,
Ms. Jarrett,
we could pluck him out of your daughter's life like a bad tooth.
Diego is not here. He's gone away.
I don't see him getting very far without his Game Boy and his asthma medicine.
Does your grandson appreciate how tidy you keep your apartment?
I mean, other than these cushions here, the zippers, it's facing out.
I done nothing! I done nothing!
That's no way to start a conversation with us, Diego.
What's in here? Diamond ring?
Mints!
Where is it? Did you swallow it? You swallow the bling-bling?
You're a real circus act, Diego.
Listen to me. The diamond ring, it's a marquise cut.
The edges are like little saws.
It'll cut your gut from one side to the other.
The only safe way to get it out is to take you to the hospital
and have them pump your stomach.
I got no ring.
No? All right, you'll just have to wait here while we toss the place.
Okay, okay!
I swallowed the ring, man, but I didn't cap nobody!
Somebody else in your crew?
No, no, no, no.
I saw the white dude had the ring.
We were gonna swarm him and his girl, just muscle the ring from him.
But at the corner, this other guy, he started tangling with the girl.
Who was he?
I don't know. He capped the girl and the dude and he split.
He left the ring and the purse. We grabbed them. That's all we did.
What did you do with the purse?
It's in the trash can in the park. Got a bullet hole in it.
The shooter, what did he look like?
He had a hood, I didn't see his face.
Something was wrong with his right foot, though. Ran off hoppity-hopping.
Then I heard her say,
"What do you think you're gonna do with that?"
And then he shot her.
I'm trying not to hate the person that did this
because Dana wouldn't want me to.
Michael Pike, ring in hand,
was about to get on his knee and pop the question
to Dana Candon, when she was gunned down by a mugger's bullets
here on the cold streets of the Lower East Side.
Unbelievable, huh? Your old boyfriend, they shot him over on Ridge.
You didn't know?
We haven't talked in a while.
You're right about the feathers.
The bullet went through the victim's coat first,
pulled the feathers into the purse.
She was carrying her purse inside her coat to protect it from purse-snatchers.
It dropped to the ground after she was shot.
The other mugger couldn't see her purse.
I mean, for all he knew, she didn't have one,
but he targeted her all the same.
Just as she was getting engaged.
The bride that wasn't to be.
Dana's last boyfriend moved back to Colorado last year.
What's it matter? The papers said it was muggers, a bunch of kids.
They were there, but we don't think they're the ones who shot you.
What about you, Mike? Anyone have a beef with you?
I don't wanna get her in trouble.
Her? Somebody you've been seeing on the side?
There was no one except Dana. I mean, the girl I was with before, Kelly.
Last name?
Kelly West.
She came out from San Diego with Ed and me three years ago.
We were together a long time, so it was rough when we broke up last year.
You're moving your lips.
I mean, you were saying what you were gonna say before you said it.
My acting teacher says I do that when I'm trying to remember my lines.
Why would you need to remember your lines,
unless you're hiding something about... Was it Kelly?
Look, she couldn't have possibly done this. It's too crazy.
When was the last time you had contact with her?
Last weekend we drove out to Flushing to eat and she was there.
And she followed you? This happen before?
A few times.
She was stalking you. You report it?
Ed talked me into signing a complaint.
The detective said he'd talk to Kelly.
I told her she was gonna get herself arrested.
And for what, you know? She was wasting her time.
I told her Mike and Dana were getting a place together, and that...
Maybe I shouldn't have done that, huh? Geez, what a grade-A moron.
She would've found out sooner or later.
You wanna smoke that cigarette, go ahead, don't mind us.
Oh! No, it's okay. I don't smoke.
The filter's pinched.
It's for a character I've been working on.
Another actor.
Kelly, she ever threaten Mike or Dana?
No. But she works at Nightcritters over on Delancey.
I gotta go see Mike, get up to his room.
I finished my shift at 1:00. If I knew I was gonna need an alibi,
I would've brought one of these losers here home.
Ms. West, you might want to can the attitude.
I know where this is going. I was not stalking Mike.
You were crowding him.
We've talked to the detective that took his complaint.
Five separate incidents, witnesses.
It was coincidence.
After Mike sent that cop to chat me up, I talked to a lawyer.
He told me next time a cop shows up to give them this.
So much for the element of surprise.
It's just the wear on her heels.
You know, she supinates, so her heels roll out when she runs.
She must get blisters like crazy.
Kelly run a lot?
Cross-country. She drives upstate on the weekends.
Then she's here on her feet, for 12 hours a stretch.
She complain about blisters?
At least once a day.
Last Friday night?
Yeah, she could hardly walk.
Good enough for a search warrant.
Her apartment's clean. No gun, no ammo, no dark hoodie.
Just a lot of photography equipment, and these.
Fixated much?
I like this.
That waterfall looks like Harriman State Park.
My old man used to take us hiking there.
Yeah, she takes her cross-country running seriously.
Shoe spikes for all different kinds of terrain.
Topographical maps, half a dozen state parks.
Well, I got parking lot receipts,
admission tickets for state parks.
Well, what do you do after you shoot your ex-boyfriend's girlfriend?
You go hiking.
I got an admission receipt for Harriman State Park
stamped 8:20 last Saturday morning.
Well, Harriman's got 46,000 acres. That's a lot of places to bury a gun.
Prizes. When was the last time you went on a treasure hunt?
How about never?
Geocaching.
"Players hide caches containing a prize and a logbook,
"post the GPS coordinates on the Web, along with a clue or riddle.
"When other players find the cache, they take the prize,
"leave one of their own and sign the logbook. "
These must be the prizes she found.
And this is what she leaves.
They have any caches in Harriman Park?
Well, it looks like 30-plus caches.
The trick is figuring out the ones she visited.
This is the last thing that Kelly wrote in here.
"Footbridge. " Assuming that's an answer,
we just have to find the riddle that goes with it.
"A face that cannot see, hands that cannot hold. " A clock.
Here, "Twelve inches for a dentist. " A footbridge.
It's this one right here.
Watch out for deer ticks.
It's one of hers.
It's got her signature from two Saturdays ago.
Over here.
Scrape marks. Somebody lost their footing down there.
See, that rock's been turned over.
Okay. Dig here.
Looks like our black hoodie.
Now that's what I call a prize.
Nature walks and treasure hunts. Some case.
It was buried not 100 feet from the cache
where she left the keychain and a signed logbook.
Which isn't the same as saying she's the one who buried it.
The gun used to kill the fiancée of the guy she stalked.
I told you, I never followed him.
The guy she was obsessed with.
Obsessed?
You gotta be kidding.
What's that?
It's Mike right there. Mike. Mike.
Those are for his headshots.
I used to take pictures of actors and movie sets.
This is what I'm obsessed with now.
Nature. You wanna know what Mike said after I stopped taking pictures of him?
He said I wasn't being supportive of his career, of his dreams.
Kelly. That's when he dumped you?
Dumped me? I dumped him! I caught him cheating with Dana!
I left him!
Kelly, you've made your point.
This interview's over.
Her lawyer's not wrong. We need to put that gun in her hand.
Maybe ballistics can trace it back to an owner.
She rages on, in spite of all the evidence against her.
She could confess, but where's the fun in that?
The lands and grooves match the slugs from the victim,
but the serial number on the weapon's been filed off,
along with some other markings on the heel of the grip.
This model, they stopped making it, what, 10 years ago?
At least.
These marks on the slugs look very crisp. Has the barrel been re-bored?
No. The weapon probably hasn't been fired much.
Yeah, the firing pin looks worn down.
So does the strike plate.
The wear pattern is what you'd expect from a 10-year-old gun.
Ten years of shooting, but no slugs go through the barrel.
Blanks?
Prop gun.
Kelly said that she worked on movie sets.
Here we go, Gunplay. All weapons accounted for.
This woman was the photographer on the film, Kelly West. Ring a bell?
No, sorry.
Where do you keep your guns?
Who has access to them?
Me, two other guys. We keep the guns under lock and key.
There's the lock. And there's the key in the lock.
You always leave it like that?
We try not to.
Great. A cast of thousands.
A pinched filter.
That look familiar?
Mike's little buddy, Ed.
You have anybody that works here that holds their cigarette like this?
One of our drivers, Johnny Santos. Thinks he's James Dean.
Never seen her. Never seen him.
Now see, this guy Ed, he's pretty much told us he knows you.
That man's a liar, Officer.
Hot in here.
No, yeah, he knows you.
He stole that overhand cigarette grip of yours, you know.
He got that and this gun from you.
It was used in a murder last week, Johnny, which makes you an accessory,
which means you have to talk to us.
Not me, Officer.
Hot in here.
You know, Ed told us that you're a big fan of James Dean.
You know, you like to move like him, dress like him.
You know, right down to the fact that you have...
Is it true that you have a little Sal Mineo waiting for you at home?
Son of a bitch, he's the one that talked.
He's baiting you, Johnny, let's go.
We'll keep an eye on Johnny. If anything turns up, we'll let you know.
Ed worked as a production assistant on Gunplay. And Mike had a bit part.
These two are joined at the hip.
Maybe with Mike getting married,
Ed was afraid of being odd man out.
He might've used Kelly's obsession with Mike
as a cover-up to get rid of Dana.
Not the kind of bachelor party Mike was expecting from his best friend.
We all worked on that film. Kelly and me were still together, and Ed.
It was us against the world, you know? UAW.
Until you started seeing Dana?
That was after Kelly and me broke up.
After she caught you cheating.
Point is, Mike, is that, well, you were moving on.
You know, we know how Kelly felt about it, what about Ed?
Ed... Ed was fine. He liked Dana.
These scenes, you're practicing them?
I have auditions.
So soon? I don't know how you can concentrate.
I gotta make a living.
Why are you guys asking about Ed?
Well, it occurred to us
Ed is the one who told Kelly you were moving in with Dana.
So what?
Well, knowing Kelly's behavior,
maybe Ed was trying to,
you know, stir things up, make some trouble.
This is Fern Hill.
"Now as I was young and easy under the apple boughs. "
My father's favorite poem.
Yeah.
Yeah. I don't get it. Ed wouldn't stir up any trouble.
He might, if it drove Dana away.
Put yourself in his shoes.
He followed you from San Diego. Now you're getting work as an actor,
while he's lucky to get hired as a gofer.
Ed just needs to build his confidence.
Still, maybe he was feeling like he was being left behind,
you know, like Kelly when you were starting a new life with Dana.
No, no way. Ed's the one who convinced me to go to the police.
When Kelly was stalking me, I wasn't even taking it seriously.
Being stalked wasn't serious?
Well, I mean, you know, an ex-girlfriend who still has the hots for me?
Yeah, you found that flattering?
Most people would find it frightening
knowing that someone's watching them all the time.
Well, it wasn't all the time.
You know, we'd take a drive and she'd follow us in her car.
Wait, what I'm trying to say is,
Ed saw the danger and was trying to protect me.
We've been looking out for each other since high school. Like I said, UAW.
Anything else?
No. We certainly didn't mean to upset you.
Most guys freak out if their exes send them even a Christmas card.
Only somebody who's never been stalked
would find the idea of being the object of obsession appealing.
Except there were witnesses who saw Kelly following him.
Right.
Brooklyn, Queens, all the places that they drove to.
Kelly's car, we gotta look at it again.
Dana, you'll always be alive in my heart.
When we talked about having a family,
there was a poem Dana read
that made her think of the child we might have someday.
It became our poem.
Dylan Thomas wrote it. It's called Fern Hill.
"Now as I'm young and easy
"under the apple boughs
"About the lilting house happy as the grass was green
"The night above the dingle starry
"Time let me hale and climb. "
Here. Some duct tape that's been cut recently.
Something was taped to the car.
Well, it's the right size for a GPS transceiver.
Sure. They put a bug on her car.
They could track her at a distance from their car.
You could load the tracking program onto a PalmPilot,
the person next to you doesn't have to know what you're doing.
They all end up in the same place
so it can look like Kelly was following Mike.
And that she'd be crazy enough to shoot his girlfriend.
Mike set up Kelly while Ed was killing Dana.
He even took a bullet in the shoulder to make it look real. Now that's acting.
With a bug on her car,
Mike and Ed could have tracked Kelly up to Harriman State Park the week before.
Depending where she parked her car,
they could tell which geocache she visited.
Then later, Ed went and stashed the gun.
I'm not seeing the motive here.
This kid, Mike, bought his girlfriend, Dana, a ring.
They were moving in together. They were good to go.
Dana, you'll always be alive in my heart.
Mike held a memorial last night on the corner where Dana was shot.
Somebody invited the TV cameras.
That was thoughtful. See, he's moving?
When we talked about having a family...
Now, watch his buddy.
...there was a poem Dana read
that made her think of the child we might have someday.
Ed made sure that the image was framed perfectly,
so that the baby clothes were directly behind Mike.
And then...
"Among the wagons I was...
"I was prince of the apple... "
Dana.
Nothing like watching a crocodile cry.
Yesterday when we talked to him, he was rehearsing this.
Had it marked up exactly where he started to choke up.
Ed shows up on cue.
Still doesn't tell me why he'd want his girlfriend dead.
Well, if there was trouble in paradise, dig it up.
Mike and Dana had the same agent.
Wonder how she feels about clients killing each other.
Audition.
Maybe that's what this is.
I no longer represent Mike. He fired me two days ago.
I'm returning those.
It's too bad. I've gotten so many phone calls about him in the last week.
You don't sound surprised he dumped you.
I knew he was gonna leave even before he did.
The fact that I also represented Dana, well...
Sharing an agent, among actors, that's intimacy.
And intimacy can breed jealousy.
They competed for your attention.
Mike competed.
Last month, I got Dana invited to a premiere party.
Mike accused me of being disloyal.
He said now he knew who his friends were.
His career, how was that going?
Slowly. But he has the looks, the drive.
At our first meeting he told me,
"Just get the cameras on me and they'll never look away. "
What about him? Ed Lang. He seems very taken by Mike.
Ed has great potential as a character actor.
Except he's mortified of auditions, and if you don't audition, well...
This is Midnight Cowboy?
Their college did a stage adaptation of the film. Mike played Joe Buck.
Ed played Ratso Rizzo. That's a character who limps.
Well, Kelly took this photo. Maybe she knows about Ed's acting tricks.
Ed read that the actor who played the Ratso character
in the movie put stones in his shoe, so that's what he did.
The night Dana was shot, you were limping at work.
Somebody could've watched you through the window from the street.
You're saying someone imitated her limp?
Maybe.
No.
Ed didn't... Why would he?
Exactly, why would he?
Ed sees Mike as some kind of meal ticket?
It was almost the other way around.
Back in San Diego, Ed got a small part in a big movie.
He had a couple of scenes with Matt Damon.
What happened?
Blew it. Couldn't remember his lines, they replaced him.
Now he can hardly handle an audition.
Did something happen to him to throw him off his game?
The night before, Mike went to help him run his lines.
Mike got really bad food poisoning.
Ed spent the whole night in the E.R. With him.
He hadn't rehearsed, he was tired.
Mike must've felt bad about that.
Not really. He said it was Ed's own fault for blowing his big break.
Mike said that would never happen to him.
But he still hasn't gotten his big break.
He used to say he'd be better off having a building fall on top of him.
He said nothing spells money like pain.
Like the people on cable talk shows.
The celebrity victims, Mike called them.
Next.
How'd it go?
They said I got too much exposure.
People are gonna recognize me and think of Dana,
and that'll ruin their enjoyment of the show or something.
Idiots.
I'm so sorry, Mike. That's not fair.
Hey, did they already cast the bit parts?
They didn't have anything for you, Ed.
I tried.
I know you did. It's cool.
Syrup of ipecac?
Yeah, it's used to induce vomiting in poisoning cases.
Did the doctors at San Diego General test Mr. Pike to confirm?
No, but Mike admitted he'd taken it after he refused to let them pump his stomach.
He made himself sick to sabotage his buddy.
Only room for one star in Mike's world.
I'd like to see that star snuffed out.
We need to find a contact in Los Angeles, someone in the film business.
I'm still friendly with the Police Commissioner out there.
He might know a few people.
What did you have in mind, Detective?
Private screening for two.
You mean, the cigarette thing?
I saw somebody smoking like that outside a bar.
I'm always observing, you know, looking for new behavior.
Remember him?
He has a lot of that behavior you like.
I've never seen him.
That's funny.
He was on the set of the movie you worked on...
We picked him up an hour ago.
Johnny here works for a company that supplies the guns,
like this one.
We found it buried in Harriman State Park.
That's where Kelly goes hiking.
That's true.
No, see, Ed, you buried it.
You followed Kelly up there, you taped a GPS locater to her car.
No, I didn't.
And after you shot Dana and Mike,
you went back to the place Kelly'd been and you buried the gun there.
I didn't do that.
Your friend's being charged with murder and attempted murder.
It was you on the corner, Ed. I don't believe it.
In the black hoodie, faking the limp.
He was angry at Dana for coming between you.
In fact, you were the best Ratso Rizzo San Diego State's ever seen.
How come he doesn't have a lawyer?
He didn't ask for one.
But he doesn't think that he needs one. He's innocent.
I'm telling you, he looks out for me. I wanna get him a lawyer.
I'll call Legal Aid and see who's available.
We'll have a lawyer here in half an hour.
Shouldn't somebody tell Ed?
Well, you could tell him.
Right? He could tell him, right? Unless there's a problem.
Come on.
Mike, what are you doing here?
It's okay, buddy, I got you a lawyer.
What for? I didn't do anything.
I know, but you need a lawyer.
They're saying I shot Dana, and then I shot you.
Don't worry about it, Mike. He believes you. He's not on our side.
UAW, right, Mike? Us against the world?
That's right. We've been through a lot together.
But it's been tough sledding since you moved here, right?
Not a lot of acting gigs on your résumés, especially you, Ed.
In fact, not any.
It just takes time. Ed knows that.
Picking up for you, though, Mike, right?
I mean, you got your face on the cover of all the city papers,
and you were on the news.
I can't believe you think I'd profit from this horrible tragedy.
I lost my fiancée!
Yeah, but you got a new agent and bunch of auditions.
You did him a solid, Ed, shooting Dana.
I didn't shoot Dana!
Did you think you were gonna get a taste of it, you know, his newfound fame?
Mike.
Just be cool, Ed, I'm backing you up.
Gotta love that UAW spirit.
It must have been tough for you, though, right?
I mean, supporting him, getting him the parts,
and, you know, especially after crapping out in San Diego.
You know, on that big movie set with Matt Damon.
Did you really run off the set?
He got stage fright. It happens to everyone.
Even Laurence Olivier, he used to puke before every performance.
Did Laurence Olivier ever do this?
Rolling. Speed.
Scene 38 B, take three.
Action!
You're really gonna like this room, Mr. Reid, it's got a great view of the...
It's got a great view of the...
Cut!
Rolling. Speed.
Scene 38 B, take five.
Action.
You're really gonna like this view...
Damn!
All right, keep rolling. Keep rolling, all right?
No, no, it's cool, it's cool. We've got plenty of film, plenty of film.
It's Ed, right? Hey, can we get Ed a water, please?
Whenever you're ready.
Okay, let's go. Action!
You're really gonna like this room, Mr. Damon.
I can't believe I called you...
All right, just relax. This is totally...
We're just having fun, man. We're just having fun.
He doesn't have to go through this again, all right?
What is it called? Method acting.
I just wanted him to remember what it felt like that day.
Never forgot it.
Rolling!
Scene 38 B, take 13.
Action!
You're gonna...
You're really gonna...
On your own time, whenever you want.
You're...
One more time. From the top. Action!
Where's he going?
Hey, is he coming back?
I'm sorry about this, Matt.
Cut!
And after that, you couldn't get arrested. Nobody would hire you.
That's so uncalled for!
How would you handle that?
Mike, I mean, assuming you got a big break,
you know, like you get on a big movie or a big movie star...
Like I said, it's a matter of time. And Ed will get another shot.
Even if he has to wait 25-to-life.
Time to go.
Be cool. The lawyer will be here soon. I'll be just outside.
You know, like when you stuck with him
when you got the food poisoning, remember?
You remember? You know, the hospital in San Diego?
They dug up this report.
You should read the parts that we highlighted.
Ipecac, Ed. Two drops of that on your tongue and it makes you vomit.
He made himself sick. He made you stay up with him.
That's 'cause he couldn't handle
the thought of you getting a break before him.
That would be unsupportive, like Kelly turning her lens away from him.
That's not true.
Dana going to the premiere without him.
Mike? This is...
Hey, no, listen, don't. Listen...
Don't go there, Ed. He destroyed you.
He destroyed you! Don't go there.
He destroyed your confidence!
What about now? How do you feel now?
All right, you know what, Ed? It was a stupid and petty thing to do, Ed.
How do you feel about it now?
I'm sorry! Can you count on his support now?
You bought the gun, you used it, you buried it. He's putting it all on you.
Because that's his new role.
He's... He's the loyal friend, you know.
Had his happiness shattered by the envy of his talentless sidekick.
It's not as sexy as his ex-girlfriend stalking him, but...
Don't listen, Ed! Don't you listen! Don't let him go out the door.
He goes out that door, he's gone.
He's off to market his own misery, you know?
Don't do it, Ed. Don't let him do it again to you.
You're really gonna...
You're gonna...
Keep rolling!
You know what? Turn this damn thing off. Turn it off!
It was his idea! It was his idea!
Turn this off!
He was gonna be famous!
That's a lie!
You did it. You shot her! I had nothing to do with it!
That heirloom ring?
He had me go out to New Jersey to get it,
put it on a payment plan so he could return it.
No. That's good enough for us.
Mike, you're under arrest.
No! No, no, no, no! This doesn't count!
He asked for a lawyer. His lawyer's not here! That one doesn't count!
He didn't, you did, and you don't have standing to invoke his right to counsel.
Amateur. You're an amateur! You know what?
You know, they'd have cut you out of that movie anyway!
He did it! He did it!
That's not true.
I came up with good stuff for that scene. I had this thing where I opened the curtain,
but I just went blank. Just blank.
If only he'd gone blank on that street corner.
Oh. But then they wouldn't get to be celebrity perps.