1
00:00:02,852 --> 00:00:05,616
That was a wonderful dinner, Mrs. Biggs.
Really delicious.

2
00:00:05,789 --> 00:00:08,417
PEGGY: I don't cook much anymore
because of my sciatica.

3
00:00:08,591 --> 00:00:11,992
But if giving you kids a nice, hot meal
means I gotta endure a sharp...

4
00:00:12,162 --> 00:00:16,394
...stabbing pain up and down my spine,
then that's the price of admission.

5
00:00:16,566 --> 00:00:19,228
-Macaroon?
-Are those from the Old Towne Bakery?

6
00:00:19,402 --> 00:00:21,063
Oh, those are my favorite.

7
00:00:21,237 --> 00:00:23,967
That's why I got them.
They're on the pricey side...

8
00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:28,839
... but I can dye my own roots this month
and Jim can choke down bargain chow.

9
00:00:30,547 --> 00:00:31,912
That was very considerate.

10
00:00:37,253 --> 00:00:38,277
Sorry.

11
00:00:40,623 --> 00:00:42,682
Let me make you a tea to go
with that cookie.

12
00:00:42,859 --> 00:00:44,622
Oh, don't go to any trouble.

13
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:48,059
No trouble. I bought a whole box
of that English breakfast you enjoy...

14
00:00:48,231 --> 00:00:49,562
...and I'm not a tea drinker.

15
00:00:49,733 --> 00:00:52,861
I figure if I want brown teeth,
I'll chew tobacco.

16
00:00:53,770 --> 00:00:55,601
Well, I'd love a cup of tea.

17
00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:57,239
My pleasure.

18
00:00:57,407 --> 00:01:00,035
-You got yourself a real keeper there, boy.
-I know, Mom.

19
00:01:00,210 --> 00:01:03,338
PEGGY: Don't lose interest in her
like you did the piano lessons, karate...

20
00:01:03,513 --> 00:01:05,606
...and that turtle you got tired of feeding.

21
00:01:07,183 --> 00:01:09,913
Okay, what the hell is going on?

22
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:12,212
What do you mean?

23
00:01:12,388 --> 00:01:14,117
We spent the evening
with your mother.

24
00:01:14,290 --> 00:01:17,953
You're not thinking about killing yourself,
I'm not thinking about killing her.

25
00:01:18,695 --> 00:01:21,823
Now that you mention it, she does seem
unusually chipper tonight.

26
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:24,967
Chipper? Being sweet,
thoughtful and complimentary.

27
00:01:25,135 --> 00:01:27,729
Something is very, very wrong here.

28
00:01:27,904 --> 00:01:30,236
I mean, she just told you I was a keeper.

29
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:31,735
Well, you are a keeper.

30
00:01:31,908 --> 00:01:33,569
I know that. She doesn't know that.

31
00:01:34,944 --> 00:01:37,242
If she did,
she wouldn't say it in front of me.

32
00:01:37,413 --> 00:01:42,077
Something smells rotten here, and it's not
just Jim's bargain-chow butt bombs.

33
00:01:49,325 --> 00:01:51,520
Never saw the attraction to tea.

34
00:01:51,694 --> 00:01:56,028
I always considered it the beverage
of Orientals and hippies.

35
00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:58,531
-Thank you, Mrs. Biggs.
-Call me Peggy.

36
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,192
Why?

37
00:02:02,438 --> 00:02:03,803
That's my name.

38
00:02:04,474 --> 00:02:07,500
Okay, Peggy.

39
00:02:07,744 --> 00:02:10,110
Hey, what would you think
about getting together...

40
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,770
...and having a bite to eat?

41
00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,472
MOLLY:
Oh.

42
00:02:14,851 --> 00:02:15,909
That sounds great...

43
00:02:16,085 --> 00:02:19,020
...but I only get a half-hour
and I usually just eat at my desk.

44
00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:22,215
Oh, that's plenty of time
for us to eat and gab. Can I bring Jim?

45
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:26,684
Actually, they don't allow dogs
in the school.

46
00:02:26,863 --> 00:02:28,831
Just guns and drugs, huh?

47
00:02:31,801 --> 00:02:33,598
Well, I guess he can stay in the car.

48
00:02:33,770 --> 00:02:37,137
I'll leave a chew toy and the radio on.
Like I used to do with Mikey.

49
00:02:41,411 --> 00:02:44,972
It's a date then, Peggy.

50
00:02:45,381 --> 00:02:48,544
Let me get you some lemon for your tea.

51
00:02:48,885 --> 00:02:50,216
Thank you.

52
00:02:50,386 --> 00:02:51,546
[CHUCKLES]

53
00:02:51,721 --> 00:02:53,518
I'm pretty sure I'm getting whacked.

54
00:03:19,415 --> 00:03:22,350
Not concerned about your mom
and girlfriend getting together?

55
00:03:22,752 --> 00:03:24,583
-Why would I be?
-No reason.

56
00:03:24,754 --> 00:03:29,088
Just making conversation,
with the stupidest man on the planet.

57
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:31,050
Why am I stupid?

58
00:03:31,227 --> 00:03:33,957
I don't know, that's for medical science
to figure out.

59
00:03:34,898 --> 00:03:38,197
You don't want your mother telling Molly
the things you did as a kid.

60
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,734
I was a normal kid.
I didn't do anything twisted.

61
00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:42,030
Uh-huh.

62
00:03:42,205 --> 00:03:45,333
Never cut the mouth out of a Playboy,
had your dog stick its tongue through...

63
00:03:45,508 --> 00:03:48,306
...so it looked like the girl
was talking to you?

64
00:03:50,046 --> 00:03:52,446
No, who would do something like that?

65
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,715
Doesn't matter.

66
00:03:56,486 --> 00:04:00,547
But trust me, women get freaked out when
they hear your grandma tell that story.

67
00:04:01,591 --> 00:04:04,458
It's not sitting too well with me either.

68
00:04:04,627 --> 00:04:08,654
So you never did anything embarrassing as
a kid you don't want Molly to know about?

69
00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:12,732
Well, I'd prefer she didn't know
I visited the school nurse once a week...

70
00:04:12,902 --> 00:04:15,166
...claiming to have a missing testicle.

71
00:04:15,872 --> 00:04:17,169
No, you didn't.

72
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:21,436
I was 12 and that nurse was smoking hot.
Had a Phoebe Cates thing going on.

73
00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:23,636
Oh, I love me some Phoebe Cates.

74
00:04:23,813 --> 00:04:27,681
-So did the missing testicle story work?
-First couple of times, she bought into it.

75
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,614
My big mistake
was showing up with flowers.

76
00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:34,452
You're romantic. That ain't nothing
to be embarrassed about.

77
00:04:34,624 --> 00:04:36,319
-You don't think so?
-Not at all.

78
00:04:36,492 --> 00:04:38,960
But Molly may not find it
as charming as you and I do.

79
00:04:39,128 --> 00:04:41,221
Might be a good idea
to have a nice dinner for her...

80
00:04:41,397 --> 00:04:42,591
...just in case you got some...

81
00:04:42,765 --> 00:04:44,528
[lMlTATlNG RlCKY RlCARDO]
...explaining to do.

82
00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,566
Good idea.

83
00:04:47,337 --> 00:04:49,328
[lN NORMAL VOlCE]
So that nurse would just root around..

84
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:50,904
...trying to locate
the missing marble?

85
00:04:51,074 --> 00:04:54,942
If I held a cold Mountain Dew down my
pants, it'd take her almost three minutes.

86
00:04:55,912 --> 00:04:57,436
-That's genius.
-I thought so.

87
00:04:57,947 --> 00:05:00,040
Seriously, hats off.

88
00:05:03,653 --> 00:05:07,384
You didn't finish your meat loaf last night
so I trimmed off the bite marks...

89
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:10,549
...and slapped it between two pieces
of Wonder bread. Enjoy.

90
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,892
Oh.

91
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:16,862
You added the mashed potatoes
and corn too.

92
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,531
I love corn in a sandwich.

93
00:05:19,936 --> 00:05:22,404
So that's where Mike gets that.

94
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:27,032
Well, you're probably wondering
why I requested this little powwow.

95
00:05:27,643 --> 00:05:30,669
I really hadn't given it much thought,
other than:

96
00:05:30,847 --> 00:05:33,907
"What a great idea."
And, "Why didn't we do it sooner?"

97
00:05:34,650 --> 00:05:35,674
Save the syrup.

98
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:39,054
I just need a little womanly advice.

99
00:05:39,222 --> 00:05:42,316
-Womanly advice, for you?
-Don't worry, it's not about my plumbing.

100
00:05:44,727 --> 00:05:47,787
There's a man at my church
who expressed interest...

101
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:50,432
...in spending time with me, socially.

102
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,262
-He asked you out on a date?
-Don't act so surprised.

103
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:57,566
-No, I'm not.
-Like I'm some kind of bug-eyed troll.

104
00:05:58,074 --> 00:06:04,912
I'm surprised you don't get asked out
all the time, is where my surprise comes in.

105
00:06:05,081 --> 00:06:10,075
Uh-huh. Anyway, he wants to take me
to Red Lobster tomorrow night.

106
00:06:10,253 --> 00:06:12,744
It's all-you-can-eat shrimp Tuesday.

107
00:06:13,556 --> 00:06:15,956
That sounds nice. Do you like this man?

108
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,025
Eh, he's all right, I guess.

109
00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:21,561
He's a widower, which means he hangs
in there until they tag and bag you.

110
00:06:21,731 --> 00:06:23,756
You gotta admire that.

111
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:28,160
I think this is great.

112
00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:30,965
I mean, it's flattering
when someone is attracted to you.

113
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,937
Don't drag it through the gutter.

114
00:06:34,911 --> 00:06:37,004
I told him we're taking separate cars...

115
00:06:37,180 --> 00:06:42,243
...in case he imagines throwing a few
shrimp at me entitles him to a free mount.

116
00:06:43,719 --> 00:06:45,653
-A girl can't be too careful.
-Yup.

117
00:06:45,822 --> 00:06:48,882
That's why I sleep with a gun
under my pillow.

118
00:06:49,058 --> 00:06:52,789
Just throw that into conversation
and you should be just fine.

119
00:06:52,962 --> 00:06:56,056
Anyway, do you think Mike
would be okay with this?

120
00:06:56,432 --> 00:06:58,457
I think he'd be thrilled. Why?

121
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,330
He's never seen me with another man
besides his father...

122
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:04,337
...and I don't wanna confuse the boy.

123
00:07:05,708 --> 00:07:10,304
He's pretty grown up and I know
he just wants you to be happy.

124
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:13,447
Let's just keep it on the sly
until we see how it goes.

125
00:07:13,616 --> 00:07:15,811
I don't want him getting attached
to this man...

126
00:07:15,985 --> 00:07:17,748
...going to ball games and whatnot...

127
00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:21,412
...then I'm the bad guy
if I have to kick him to the curb.

128
00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:25,856
I won't say anything to Mike
and you tell him when you're comfortable.

129
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:28,861
He's gonna wonder
why I asked to have lunch with you.

130
00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:32,159
I'll just tell him
that you wanted to get to know me...

131
00:07:32,335 --> 00:07:36,135
...because you thought it was important
that his two best gals become friends.

132
00:07:36,739 --> 00:07:39,207
No, he'd never believe that.

133
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,007
Tell him I came to you to learn to read.

134
00:07:42,178 --> 00:07:44,373
It's my secret shame.

135
00:07:45,848 --> 00:07:48,476
Well, hopefully he won't ask.

136
00:07:56,459 --> 00:08:00,020
-Hey.
-Hey, sweetie, let me help you.

137
00:08:00,196 --> 00:08:02,357
Oh, thanks. What smells so good?

138
00:08:02,532 --> 00:08:05,330
That would be
my world-famous five-alarm chili.

139
00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:06,525
You cooked?

140
00:08:06,702 --> 00:08:10,570
Well, you cook for me all the time. It seems
only right that I should cook for you.

141
00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:14,506
And I haven't always done the right thing
in my life, but people change.

142
00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:18,210
Yes, they do.

143
00:08:18,381 --> 00:08:20,508
I'm not the same guy I was
when I met you.

144
00:08:20,683 --> 00:08:24,414
And I'm certainly not the same guy I was
between the ages of 12 and 14.

145
00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:26,243
Huh.

146
00:08:28,858 --> 00:08:31,156
So chili, you say?

147
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:35,362
Yup. My special recipe,
and the secret ingredient is corn.

148
00:08:41,704 --> 00:08:45,401
Can I get you a nice, light beer
or perhaps a chilled glass of chardonnay?

149
00:08:45,575 --> 00:08:47,304
Oh, I'd love a glass of wine.

150
00:08:47,476 --> 00:08:48,966
Coming up.

151
00:08:49,312 --> 00:08:51,974
So how was your day?

152
00:08:52,148 --> 00:08:53,172
Pretty good.

153
00:08:53,349 --> 00:08:57,080
Classes were fine
and I had my lunch with your mom.

154
00:08:57,253 --> 00:08:58,914
Oh, was that today?

155
00:09:00,523 --> 00:09:02,218
I forgot all about it.

156
00:09:02,391 --> 00:09:04,791
So, what did she chew
your ear off about?

157
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:05,985
Nothing much.

158
00:09:06,162 --> 00:09:10,030
She just needed a sounding board
about something, it's really no big deal.

159
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:12,565
Oh, good.
So no health issues or anything, right?

160
00:09:12,735 --> 00:09:14,498
She didn't find a lump on something?

161
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:16,467
Oh, no, no.

162
00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:18,732
Nothing other than you on her couch.

163
00:09:20,543 --> 00:09:21,805
That's funny.

164
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,242
So I didn't come up
in the conversation at all?

165
00:09:24,413 --> 00:09:26,904
Her only son, that seems weird to me.

166
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:30,282
Okay, she might've mentioned you
once or twice.

167
00:09:30,453 --> 00:09:34,253
I don't know what Mom told you.
I'm not the reason the nurse transferred.

168
00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:36,482
The janitor knocked her up.

169
00:09:37,426 --> 00:09:41,624
-What are you rambling on about?
-I don't know. Maybe I should stop talking.

170
00:09:41,797 --> 00:09:44,789
Your mom just wanted my advice
on something. It's not a big deal.

171
00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:48,232
-lf it's not, why can't you tell me?
-Because she asked me not to.

172
00:09:48,404 --> 00:09:53,740
So it had nothing to do with a young boy's
innocent infatuation with hernia exams?

173
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:56,240
No.

174
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,072
What?

175
00:10:00,816 --> 00:10:04,775
I will tell you, but you have to promise
you're not gonna say anything to your mom.

176
00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:07,616
-I promise.
-Seriously, she has put her trust in me...

177
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,655
...and I don't wanna compromise it.

178
00:10:09,825 --> 00:10:11,759
I'll keep my mouth shut. Just tell me.

179
00:10:12,561 --> 00:10:14,358
She's going out on a date.

180
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,089
Oh, come on.

181
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:19,467
If you're gonna lie,
pick something that's plausible.

182
00:10:19,635 --> 00:10:22,160
I'm adopted. She's really a man.
Something I could buy.

183
00:10:22,672 --> 00:10:27,041
There is a gentleman at church
that asked her out and she said yes.

184
00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:31,202
And she wanted my advice
and to help her get ready tomorrow night.

185
00:10:31,514 --> 00:10:34,972
Wait. My mom's going out on a date?

186
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:38,314
She is.
But you can't let on that you know.

187
00:10:38,688 --> 00:10:41,350
Okay, and I appreciate you telling me.

188
00:10:41,524 --> 00:10:42,889
Sure.

189
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,721
What is the deal with the school nurse?

190
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:49,729
Oh, nothing, I tricked her into touching
my genitals. Is this too spicy?

191
00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:00,541
I got yelled at, at work today.

192
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:04,237
Who yelled at you?
You put makeup on corpses.

193
00:11:07,249 --> 00:11:10,980
I was working on
an 80-year-old cadaver...

194
00:11:11,153 --> 00:11:13,417
...and her grandson
got his panties in a bunch...

195
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:16,080
...because I put body glitter
in her cleavage.

196
00:11:17,693 --> 00:11:18,751
I'm like, "Dude, chill.

197
00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:22,557
Just because your grandma's dead
doesn't mean she can't look hot."

198
00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:24,457
[DOORBELL RlNGS]

199
00:11:24,633 --> 00:11:26,157
Great philosophy.

200
00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:29,762
MOLLY: That's why she put it
on her business card.

201
00:11:30,573 --> 00:11:33,872
Listen, when I die,
you just pull out the stops.

202
00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,876
I wanna look peaceful, but doable.

203
00:11:41,083 --> 00:11:43,950
Please tell me you're not taking Jim
on your date with you.

204
00:11:47,156 --> 00:11:49,522
He's a hell of an icebreaker.

205
00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:52,183
He can stay here with us. Come on in.

206
00:11:52,595 --> 00:11:54,460
I brought a couple outfits.

207
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,791
I wanted something
that looks feminine...

208
00:11:56,966 --> 00:12:00,697
...but doesn't make him think I'm lifting
my skirt, ringing the dinner bell.

209
00:12:03,305 --> 00:12:06,797
Well, it's probably a good idea
to stick with the stretch pants.

210
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,707
Sweet lord, this is nerve-racking.

211
00:12:09,879 --> 00:12:12,109
Why do women put themselves
through this?

212
00:12:12,281 --> 00:12:15,808
I don't have an answer, but let's not make
too big of a deal out of this.

213
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,077
It's just dinner.

214
00:12:17,420 --> 00:12:21,117
Well, bear in mind, I haven't been on a date
with a man in almost 40 years.

215
00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:23,750
So there's been nobody
since Mike's dad?

216
00:12:24,527 --> 00:12:26,552
Nobody before or after.

217
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,892
This keg was only tapped for one party.

218
00:12:36,038 --> 00:12:39,633
Unlike you gals today, we didn't
just give it away to any smooth talker...

219
00:12:39,809 --> 00:12:43,677
...with a fast car and a cigarillo
dangling between his lips.

220
00:12:44,246 --> 00:12:48,342
Look, why don't we just focus on the task
at hand and help you pick out a nice outfit?

221
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,280
Now, what are our options?

222
00:12:51,420 --> 00:12:54,014
Uh, this and what I got on.

223
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,087
We can work with this.

224
00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:03,698
Might wanna spruce it up a little
with some accessories.

225
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:08,929
-Come upstairs, I'll show you what I have.
-But no dangly earrings or feather boas.

226
00:13:09,104 --> 00:13:12,938
I go too feminine,
I start to look like a transsexual.

227
00:13:14,109 --> 00:13:15,838
Jim!

228
00:13:20,950 --> 00:13:24,511
So did your mom tell Molly the story
about your old hidden-ball trick?

229
00:13:24,687 --> 00:13:26,086
No, they didn't talk about me.

230
00:13:26,255 --> 00:13:29,656
Turns out my mom just wanted some advice
about going out on a date.

231
00:13:29,825 --> 00:13:33,921
Wait, Peggy Biggs is going on a date?
Let me wrap my head around that.

232
00:13:34,763 --> 00:13:36,287
Nope, can't do it.

233
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:40,964
I think it's great. It'd be nice for her
to have someone to spend some time with.

234
00:13:41,136 --> 00:13:42,160
You know, a companion.

235
00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:44,806
-Takes some pressure off of you?
-Yeah, and the dog.

236
00:13:44,974 --> 00:13:47,568
Poor bastard really bears
the brunt of most of it.

237
00:13:48,177 --> 00:13:50,008
Hope she knows what she's getting into.

238
00:13:50,179 --> 00:13:52,647
The landscape has changed
for the over-60 crowd.

239
00:13:52,815 --> 00:13:54,806
-What are you talking about?
-Viagra.

240
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:58,010
It put peaks
where there used to be valleys.

241
00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:01,520
He's right. Those dudes ain't going gently
into that good night no more.

242
00:14:01,690 --> 00:14:05,558
They pop a couple of those blue pills,
they're not taking "what?" for an answer.

243
00:14:06,695 --> 00:14:10,756
This is just some widower from her church
that wants to take her out for dinner.

244
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:13,868
Lonely widowers are the worst.
They're making up for lost time.

245
00:14:14,036 --> 00:14:17,733
Church groups and VFW halls are like
trout farms for those wrinkly Romeos.

246
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,533
It's true.

247
00:14:20,709 --> 00:14:24,008
The natural cycle of a man's life
has been upset by erection enhancers.

248
00:14:24,179 --> 00:14:26,875
There are no more wise elders
sitting in the town square...

249
00:14:27,049 --> 00:14:29,643
...carving wooden flutes
and offering sage advice.

250
00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:33,049
Now they're all getting hair plugs
and trying to bone your sister.

251
00:14:35,257 --> 00:14:39,921
You should see these Lazarus-looking
horndogs my grandma brings for breakfast.

252
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:42,029
Eating Cream of Wheat
and smiling at me.

253
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:44,722
"Morning, son. What's your name?
How old are you?"

254
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:47,960
Old enough to know what you've
been doing to my nana last night.

255
00:14:50,773 --> 00:14:55,005
-I'm starting to feel uneasy about this.
-The trick is to not think about it.

256
00:14:55,177 --> 00:14:57,805
Once you start imagining your mom
doing the nasty...

257
00:14:57,980 --> 00:15:00,312
...then you're in
for some sleepless nights.

258
00:15:03,586 --> 00:15:04,780
[SlGHS]

259
00:15:04,954 --> 00:15:07,149
It's perfectly natural
for you to be nervous.

260
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,847
After Molly's dad died...

261
00:15:09,024 --> 00:15:12,084
...I waited almost three years
before I went out with another man.

262
00:15:12,361 --> 00:15:14,989
-Didn't you ever get lonely?
-Lonely, no.

263
00:15:15,431 --> 00:15:17,399
Horny, yes.

264
00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:21,625
There's a reason you girls ate nothing
but banana bread for three years.

265
00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,131
I liked working with bananas.

266
00:15:30,079 --> 00:15:33,742
For the record, I'm not one of those people
you have to open up to.

267
00:15:35,951 --> 00:15:37,509
Less is more in my book.

268
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:41,153
I'm sure your gentleman friend
will be glad to hear that.

269
00:15:42,691 --> 00:15:45,683
What about this?

270
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:50,929
Well, I wasn't planning on doing
the dance of the seven veils tonight.

271
00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:53,660
No, no, I just thought
you might want a little color.

272
00:15:53,836 --> 00:15:58,000
Sure, while we're at it, why don't we put
some lipstick on my nipples?

273
00:15:59,675 --> 00:16:04,669
Seems a little extreme, but since we're on
the topic, a little makeup wouldn't hurt.

274
00:16:04,847 --> 00:16:06,212
Makeup? I don't wear makeup.

275
00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:07,847
Ever?

276
00:16:08,017 --> 00:16:10,952
I might put some beet juice on my lips
for Christmas mass...

277
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,054
...but my motto's always been:

278
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:16,988
"A little powder, a little paint
makes you something that you ain't."

279
00:16:17,926 --> 00:16:20,690
Really? Well, my motto's always been:

280
00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:24,128
"Dinner's on you
and the rest of the night's on me."

281
00:16:30,572 --> 00:16:32,130
[PEGGY SlGHS]

282
00:16:32,307 --> 00:16:33,535
Could you hold still?

283
00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:37,770
I'm not used to doing this with somebody
breathing all over my fingers.

284
00:16:38,514 --> 00:16:40,744
Or breathing, period.

285
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,042
Just do your best, baby.

286
00:16:42,217 --> 00:16:45,880
Remember, it's only for one night,
not for all eternity.

287
00:16:49,391 --> 00:16:51,256
And just make me look presentable...

288
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:54,692
...not like I got Tyrone the pimp
waiting for me in the car.

289
00:16:56,131 --> 00:16:59,498
See, when you talk,
totally freaks me out.

290
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:03,366
I was just thinking the same thing.

291
00:17:05,307 --> 00:17:08,401
I found a pair of earrings
that I think might go with that outfit.

292
00:17:08,577 --> 00:17:12,707
Hang on. Let me just put
a little more concealer on your mustache.

293
00:17:14,683 --> 00:17:16,708
Okay...

294
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,911
...and voila.

295
00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,454
Peggy, you look great. Nice job.

296
00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:24,057
Thanks.

297
00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:27,662
It was fun getting to do
the back of her neck.

298
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:30,928
I usually don't get to do
the back of a neck.

299
00:17:32,434 --> 00:17:36,268
Try these on. My dad gave them to me
for my first communion.

300
00:17:36,438 --> 00:17:38,531
I wouldn't feel right wearing these.

301
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:39,867
I want you to.

302
00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:44,445
They're the only pair left in the house that
you haven't written off as hooker hoops.

303
00:17:45,614 --> 00:17:47,047
Okay?

304
00:17:47,216 --> 00:17:51,448
They, and you, look beautiful.

305
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:53,281
You clean up pretty good, huh?

306
00:17:55,023 --> 00:17:56,991
This isn't me.

307
00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:00,829
No, it's a reflection of you.

308
00:18:06,101 --> 00:18:07,728
I can't do this.

309
00:18:07,903 --> 00:18:09,097
Peggy.

310
00:18:09,271 --> 00:18:11,102
Peggy.

311
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,634
I appreciate your help...

312
00:18:12,808 --> 00:18:17,108
...but this whole Saturday Night Fever
"Shake Your Booty" lifestyle ain't for me.

313
00:18:17,279 --> 00:18:19,304
Come on, Peggy, calm down.

314
00:18:19,481 --> 00:18:24,316
No, no, I've gone down this road before,
and I'll tell you where it leads: heartache.

315
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:27,387
Hey, everyone has had their heart broken.
I certainly have.

316
00:18:27,556 --> 00:18:30,286
But if I'd just given up,
I never would have met Mike.

317
00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:34,122
There, there's another reason not to go.
I don't want my little boy thinking...

318
00:18:34,296 --> 00:18:37,459
...that his mother is some kind
of tavern-hopping hotsy-totsy.

319
00:18:37,633 --> 00:18:40,295
Oh, he would never think that.

320
00:18:40,469 --> 00:18:42,937
If he could see how beautiful
you looked right now...

321
00:18:43,105 --> 00:18:47,041
...I know that he would want you
to go out and enjoy yourself.

322
00:18:48,510 --> 00:18:49,943
You told him, didn't you?

323
00:18:53,248 --> 00:18:55,443
I most certainly did not, Peggy.

324
00:18:57,152 --> 00:18:58,915
You told me that in confidence.

325
00:18:59,087 --> 00:19:01,612
Now, I understand
that you are nervous, Peggy...

326
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:06,523
...but it took the work of three women
to get you looking presentably beautiful.

327
00:19:08,130 --> 00:19:12,260
And I'm not gonna let you waste this sitting
on the couch, eating day-old meat loaf.

328
00:19:12,434 --> 00:19:16,495
Now, give me the dog
and go have a good time.

329
00:19:25,447 --> 00:19:27,210
Thanks for, you know....

330
00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:28,576
You're welcome, Peggy.

331
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:31,219
Call me Mrs. Biggs.

332
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:38,886
Poor bastard at the Red Lobster has
no idea what he's gotten himself into.

333
00:19:39,061 --> 00:19:43,395
Ugh. Boy, we've got to get you off
the bargain chow.

334
00:19:47,035 --> 00:19:48,935
[SlGHS]

335
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:52,263
Where the hell is she?
The Red Lobster closed an hour ago.

336
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:54,068
How do you know that?

337
00:19:54,243 --> 00:19:59,180
Look at him. You don't think he's closed
a few all-you-can-eat places in his day?

338
00:19:59,748 --> 00:20:04,447
I'm just saying, allowing for drive time,
going by Molly's to pick up Jim...

339
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:06,212
...she should've been home by now.

340
00:20:06,388 --> 00:20:08,856
Well, they might still be
in the parking lot.

341
00:20:09,024 --> 00:20:12,482
Your mom's got that big-ass lmpala,
the back seat's like a day bed.

342
00:20:12,661 --> 00:20:13,787
[lMlTATES SPRlNGS SQUEAKlNG]

343
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,953
Cut it out. That's not funny.

344
00:20:16,298 --> 00:20:17,788
Headlights. Car, car, car.

345
00:20:21,003 --> 00:20:22,800
-ls that her?
-Yup.

346
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:24,563
Garage door up...

347
00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:26,901
...car inside...

348
00:20:27,075 --> 00:20:28,474
...garage door down.

349
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,804
Safe and sound.

350
00:20:30,612 --> 00:20:32,375
Your mom's still a virgin. Can we go?

351
00:20:32,547 --> 00:20:34,572
Absolutely.

352
00:20:34,883 --> 00:20:37,943
Hang on, there's another car pulling
in the drive.

353
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,314
What the hell?

354
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:40,512
[CAR DOOR OPENS]

355
00:20:40,689 --> 00:20:43,021
I told you, it's an old man's game.

356
00:20:43,191 --> 00:20:45,386
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

357
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,511
[English - US - SDH]