1 00:00:00,702 --> 00:00:01,936 Kids, as you know, 2 00:00:01,938 --> 00:00:03,371 I was designing Goliath National Bank's 3 00:00:03,373 --> 00:00:06,174 new headquarters on the site of this old hotel, The Arcadian. 4 00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:08,993 Problem was, some people didn't want 5 00:00:08,995 --> 00:00:10,578 The Arcadian torn down. 6 00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:14,465 Even bigger problem, they were led by my girlfriend Zoey. 7 00:00:14,467 --> 00:00:15,633 G-N-B is the e-ne-my! 8 00:00:15,635 --> 00:00:17,618 Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on! Hey, sweetie! 9 00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:20,421 Are we still on for dinner at 8:00 at Valenzisi's? 10 00:00:21,623 --> 00:00:24,425 That's great! I can't wait! 11 00:00:24,427 --> 00:00:26,794 That's great. I can't wait! That's great. I can't wait! 12 00:00:26,796 --> 00:00:30,231 But somehow, Zoey and I were making it work. 13 00:00:30,233 --> 00:00:33,367 Ted, why are you dating our arch-enemy?! 14 00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:35,236 I mean, Wile E. Coyote wasn't trying 15 00:00:35,238 --> 00:00:36,404 to sleep with the Roadrunner. 16 00:00:36,406 --> 00:00:38,005 Or maybe he was. 17 00:00:38,007 --> 00:00:39,273 Think about it. 18 00:00:39,275 --> 00:00:41,409 The way that she bats her eyelashes 19 00:00:41,411 --> 00:00:44,879 and shakes her tail feathers in his face? 20 00:00:44,881 --> 00:00:46,214 She wants it. 21 00:00:47,249 --> 00:00:49,484 Isn't it hard for you guys to be on opposite sides 22 00:00:49,486 --> 00:00:50,485 of something like this? 23 00:00:50,487 --> 00:00:52,286 Of course you feel that way, Lily. 24 00:00:52,288 --> 00:00:54,021 You and Marshall have basically melded 25 00:00:54,023 --> 00:00:56,357 into one big hermaphroditic blob. 26 00:00:56,359 --> 00:00:58,092 And that's fine for you guys. 27 00:00:58,094 --> 00:00:59,260 But some of us want 28 00:00:59,262 --> 00:01:01,796 a partner who challenges us to grow and evolve. 29 00:01:01,798 --> 00:01:04,565 You guys are in screaming matches all the time. 30 00:01:04,567 --> 00:01:05,800 Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. 31 00:01:05,802 --> 00:01:07,368 Growing matches. 32 00:01:07,370 --> 00:01:08,769 It was true. 33 00:01:08,771 --> 00:01:11,072 Zoey and I loved to challenge each other. 34 00:01:11,074 --> 00:01:13,608 The main character is a young spoiled prince 35 00:01:13,610 --> 00:01:16,110 thrust into leadership after the death of his father. 36 00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:18,279 It's obviously a modern-day retelling of Henry IV! 37 00:01:18,281 --> 00:01:20,181 Are you kidding me?! 38 00:01:20,183 --> 00:01:22,483 It's Don Quixote... the classic quest story 39 00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:25,353 with the hero-jester and his long-suffering manservant! 40 00:01:25,355 --> 00:01:28,089 Okay, clearly, when we're watching Tommy Boy, 41 00:01:28,091 --> 00:01:31,358 we're watching two different movies. 42 00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:32,960 No, you hang up. 43 00:01:32,962 --> 00:01:34,695 No, you hang up. 44 00:01:34,697 --> 00:01:36,864 No, you hang up. 45 00:01:36,866 --> 00:01:38,332 No, you hang up. 46 00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:40,835 No, you hang up! 47 00:01:40,837 --> 00:01:43,170 No, you hang up. 48 00:01:43,172 --> 00:01:44,372 No, you hang up. 49 00:01:44,374 --> 00:01:45,806 No, you... 50 00:01:45,808 --> 00:01:48,042 Hold on. 51 00:01:48,044 --> 00:01:49,744 Hello? 52 00:01:49,746 --> 00:01:53,314 For the love of God, will one of you idiots hang up the phone? 53 00:01:56,519 --> 00:01:58,686 Why would you do that?! 54 00:01:58,688 --> 00:02:00,888 I-I thought you'd like it. 55 00:02:00,890 --> 00:02:02,623 Who likes that? 56 00:02:02,625 --> 00:02:04,692 I like it. 57 00:02:06,445 --> 00:02:09,196 Your relationship sounds exhausting. 58 00:02:09,198 --> 00:02:11,365 Well, maybe yours is a bit lazy. 59 00:02:11,367 --> 00:02:14,702 Marshall and I have been together 15 years, 60 00:02:14,704 --> 00:02:17,238 and the only debate we've had about Tommy Boy 61 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:20,041 is whether it's awesome or super awesome. 62 00:02:20,043 --> 00:02:22,243 That's love, bitch. 63 00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:28,143 ♪ How I Met Your Mother 6x20 ♪ The Exploding Meatball Sub Original Air Date on April 11, 2011 64 00:02:28,168 --> 00:02:32,168 == Sync by elderman == Corrected by Addic7ed.com www.addic7ed.com 65 00:02:36,425 --> 00:02:38,059 Now around this time, 66 00:02:38,061 --> 00:02:40,645 Marshall had truly come to hate his job. 67 00:02:40,647 --> 00:02:43,431 He hated the paperwork. 68 00:02:43,433 --> 00:02:45,499 He hated the coffee. 69 00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:48,869 He hated the dirty jokes. 70 00:02:49,905 --> 00:02:52,840 He hated everything. 71 00:02:55,043 --> 00:02:56,043 I have to quit. 72 00:02:56,045 --> 00:02:57,578 Quit GNB?! Why? 73 00:02:57,580 --> 00:03:00,848 I need to do better things with my life, okay? 74 00:03:00,850 --> 00:03:02,850 There's-There's an opening for an environmental lawyer 75 00:03:02,852 --> 00:03:04,752 at the National Resources Defense Council. 76 00:03:04,754 --> 00:03:06,287 Sure, it pays less, but 77 00:03:06,289 --> 00:03:09,790 I'd be saving the oceans, saving endangered species... 78 00:03:09,792 --> 00:03:13,494 Saving chicken bones and an old boot to make hobo soup? 79 00:03:13,496 --> 00:03:14,862 Marshall, you can't 80 00:03:14,864 --> 00:03:18,399 pay your mortgage with Hacky Sacks and good vibes. 81 00:03:18,401 --> 00:03:20,701 Baby, you have my full support. 82 00:03:20,703 --> 00:03:22,670 Well, then, you're not going to be able to pay 83 00:03:22,672 --> 00:03:24,472 for that trip to Spain that you've been planning. 84 00:03:25,608 --> 00:03:26,857 Say good-bye 85 00:03:26,859 --> 00:03:28,409 to riding around in gondolas, 86 00:03:28,411 --> 00:03:32,980 and eating bratwurst and seeing the pyramids. 87 00:03:32,982 --> 00:03:35,383 I don't think you know what Spain is. 88 00:03:35,385 --> 00:03:39,654 Well, I know that a trip there costs some serious lira. 89 00:03:39,656 --> 00:03:40,421 It's dinero. 90 00:03:40,423 --> 00:03:42,923 Where? I want his autograph! 91 00:03:42,925 --> 00:03:45,960 So Marshall walked in the next morning all ready to quit. 92 00:03:45,962 --> 00:03:47,878 But then something weird happened. 93 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:49,513 ♪ I will remember you... ♪ 94 00:03:49,515 --> 00:03:52,867 Suddenly, he didn't hate the paperwork. 95 00:03:54,198 --> 00:03:57,666 He didn't hate the coffee. 96 00:03:57,668 --> 00:04:02,204 He didn't even hate the dirty jokes. 97 00:04:02,206 --> 00:04:05,969 Out of nowhere, Marshall actually liked GNB. 98 00:04:08,370 --> 00:04:09,736 It's graduation goggles. What? 99 00:04:09,738 --> 00:04:11,905 Graduation goggles, like with high school. 100 00:04:11,907 --> 00:04:12,972 It's four years of bullies 101 00:04:12,974 --> 00:04:14,941 making fun of all the kids with braces, 102 00:04:14,943 --> 00:04:17,877 even after the braces come off and they can walk just fine. 103 00:04:17,879 --> 00:04:19,145 But then, on graduation day, 104 00:04:19,147 --> 00:04:21,014 you suddenly get all misty because you realize 105 00:04:21,016 --> 00:04:22,816 you're never going to see those jerks again. 106 00:04:22,818 --> 00:04:26,252 I just had graduation goggles with that guy Scooby I dated. 107 00:04:26,254 --> 00:04:28,421 The guy who was basically a dog? 108 00:04:28,423 --> 00:04:31,291 He was the worst kisser I've ever been with. 109 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,711 But the moment I decided to dump him... 110 00:04:34,713 --> 00:04:36,129 ♪ I will remember you... ♪ 111 00:04:36,131 --> 00:04:38,831 ...I suddenly got kind of wistful. 112 00:04:41,068 --> 00:04:42,836 He was a good boy. 113 00:04:42,838 --> 00:04:44,404 Yeah. 114 00:04:44,406 --> 00:04:45,905 I've been there, too. 115 00:04:45,907 --> 00:04:48,391 Every time I'm done having sex with a woman, 116 00:04:48,393 --> 00:04:51,344 at first, I never want to see her again. 117 00:04:51,346 --> 00:04:53,146 But then... 118 00:04:53,148 --> 00:04:58,952 ♪ I will remember you... ♪ 119 00:04:58,954 --> 00:05:01,120 No, that's pretty much it. 120 00:05:03,224 --> 00:05:07,193 The point is, you can't trust graduation goggles. 121 00:05:07,195 --> 00:05:09,195 They're just as misleading as beer goggles, 122 00:05:09,197 --> 00:05:10,697 bridesmaid goggles, 123 00:05:10,699 --> 00:05:12,365 and that's-just-a-bulky, outdated-cell-phone 124 00:05:12,367 --> 00:05:15,034 in-his-front-pocket goggles. 125 00:05:15,036 --> 00:05:17,003 That one was a bummer. 126 00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:18,171 You're right. 127 00:05:18,173 --> 00:05:19,105 Tomorrow, I'm quitting GNB. 128 00:05:19,107 --> 00:05:21,608 No! You can't quit tomorrow! 129 00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:23,643 The lady with the big nipples is coming back 130 00:05:23,645 --> 00:05:24,944 to give another sexual harassment seminar, 131 00:05:24,946 --> 00:05:26,713 and I bribed one of the maintenance guys 132 00:05:26,715 --> 00:05:28,681 to keep the room at a brisk 55 degrees! 133 00:05:28,683 --> 00:05:33,119 Baby, more than ever, you have my full support. 134 00:05:34,605 --> 00:05:37,590 You know, sometimes I feel bad for Lily and Marshall. 135 00:05:37,592 --> 00:05:39,959 I'm starting to feel bad for Ted and Zoey. 136 00:05:41,528 --> 00:05:44,797 It starts with an... "L?" 137 00:05:44,799 --> 00:05:47,200 How can you not remember my name? 138 00:05:47,202 --> 00:05:48,701 It's like they never challenge each other. 139 00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:51,337 They just automatically agree all the time. 140 00:05:51,339 --> 00:05:53,673 Well, they don't do that all the time. Yes, they do. 141 00:05:53,675 --> 00:05:55,408 No, they don't. Yes, they do. 142 00:05:55,410 --> 00:05:56,576 It's like they... 143 00:05:56,578 --> 00:05:58,678 ...don't see eye-to-eye on anything! 144 00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,481 Totally. Totally. 145 00:06:01,483 --> 00:06:03,549 It rhymes with your name. 146 00:06:05,152 --> 00:06:08,621 And I said my name was...? 147 00:06:09,523 --> 00:06:12,108 Baby, I did it! I quit. 148 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:15,862 And then I walked right over to the NRDC, and I took that job. 149 00:06:15,864 --> 00:06:18,064 Oh, good for you, sweetie. Yeah. 150 00:06:18,066 --> 00:06:19,816 It's a little less money than I was expecting. 151 00:06:19,818 --> 00:06:22,235 I mean, compared to what I was making at GNB, it's nothing. 152 00:06:22,237 --> 00:06:24,370 Actually compared to anything, it's nothing. 153 00:06:24,372 --> 00:06:26,139 It's nothing. 154 00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:27,907 The paid position just got filled, 155 00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:30,543 so all I can do is-is volunteer right now. 156 00:06:30,545 --> 00:06:32,778 You're cool with that, right? 157 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:35,882 Baby, if this is what you need to do, we'll figure it out. 158 00:06:35,884 --> 00:06:38,584 How's Barney handling you leaving? 159 00:06:42,756 --> 00:06:46,125 Hey, Barney, there's a bunch of models in the lobby, 160 00:06:46,127 --> 00:06:48,328 and the gossip is one of them is really a dude. 161 00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,096 You want to play "Who's Hot and Who's Scott?" 162 00:06:50,098 --> 00:06:53,232 It's always the one in the turtleneck, Ted. 163 00:06:53,234 --> 00:06:55,268 And no, I don't want to play. 164 00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:58,104 Stupid Marshall... ruined everything. 165 00:06:58,106 --> 00:07:00,657 Oh, come on. Everything's not ruined. 166 00:07:00,659 --> 00:07:01,708 Guys, everything's ruined. 167 00:07:01,710 --> 00:07:03,359 What? Why? 168 00:07:03,361 --> 00:07:05,445 Your girlfriend somehow got the Landmark Preservation Committee 169 00:07:05,447 --> 00:07:06,713 to agree to a hearing. 170 00:07:06,715 --> 00:07:08,481 If they declare the Arcadian a landmark, 171 00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:09,983 the whole project is dead. 172 00:07:11,819 --> 00:07:13,920 The good news is, I just got the phone number 173 00:07:13,922 --> 00:07:15,421 of a husky-voiced hottie in a turtleneck. 174 00:07:21,019 --> 00:07:22,920 ...so, if the Landmarks Preservation Committee 175 00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:25,823 sides with Zoey, your whole project goes down the tubes? 176 00:07:26,915 --> 00:07:28,448 You must be furious. 177 00:07:28,450 --> 00:07:32,452 I'm furiously enjoying being challenged. 178 00:07:32,454 --> 00:07:33,920 Why don't you admit that 179 00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,822 your girlfriend challenging your every move 180 00:07:35,824 --> 00:07:38,425 is getting you a little murder-suicidey? 181 00:07:38,427 --> 00:07:40,493 Why don't you admit that Marshall quitting his job 182 00:07:40,495 --> 00:07:42,495 and taking an unpaid internship is killing you? 183 00:07:42,497 --> 00:07:43,363 It's not. 184 00:07:43,365 --> 00:07:44,764 Lily, the downside 185 00:07:44,766 --> 00:07:46,633 to having giant, Japanese anime eyes is 186 00:07:46,635 --> 00:07:47,967 that they're easy to read. 187 00:07:47,969 --> 00:07:49,269 And yours are screaming, 188 00:07:49,271 --> 00:07:51,704 "What about my trip to Spain, deadbeat?" 189 00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:54,774 Okay, Ted, the downside to having a woman's mouth is, 190 00:07:54,776 --> 00:07:57,510 your feminine pout gives away your true feelings. 191 00:07:57,512 --> 00:07:59,112 And yours is saying, 192 00:07:59,114 --> 00:08:02,849 "Oh, Zoey, why can't I be on top just this once?" 193 00:08:02,851 --> 00:08:04,417 We take turns! 194 00:08:04,419 --> 00:08:06,102 Sometimes. 195 00:08:06,104 --> 00:08:08,138 Hey, guys. Thanks. Hey. 196 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:10,657 I just had the best first day at the NRDC. 197 00:08:14,696 --> 00:08:16,596 I'm sorry. Sorry. 198 00:08:16,598 --> 00:08:19,282 Something Hershel said at work today. 199 00:08:20,602 --> 00:08:22,168 Hershel? 200 00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:24,437 What, don't you guys know Hershel? Didn't I tell you? 201 00:08:24,439 --> 00:08:26,673 Oh, he's the new lawyer who replaced Marshall at GNB. 202 00:08:26,675 --> 00:08:27,774 He is so 203 00:08:27,776 --> 00:08:29,843 awesome and funny 204 00:08:29,845 --> 00:08:31,578 and tall... taller than Marshall... 205 00:08:31,580 --> 00:08:32,512 and he knows 206 00:08:32,514 --> 00:08:34,114 way more laws. 207 00:08:34,116 --> 00:08:35,949 Well, I'm glad you like your new co-worker. 208 00:08:35,951 --> 00:08:37,350 There's no Hershel! 209 00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:39,018 I was just saying that to make you jealous! 210 00:08:39,020 --> 00:08:40,437 Why do you insist we play these games? 211 00:08:40,439 --> 00:08:43,189 Barney, I'm not playing... Just come back to GNB already! 212 00:08:43,191 --> 00:08:44,424 I'm really loving my new job. 213 00:08:44,426 --> 00:08:47,360 Oh, and I'm loving seeing you this happy. 214 00:08:47,362 --> 00:08:49,095 I'm so glad to hear you say that 215 00:08:49,097 --> 00:08:50,280 because I volunteered our apartment 216 00:08:50,282 --> 00:08:51,965 for a big NRDC fund-raiser tomorrow night. 217 00:08:51,967 --> 00:08:53,133 You're-You're cool with that, right? 218 00:08:53,135 --> 00:08:54,567 Baby, you have my full support. 219 00:08:54,569 --> 00:08:56,236 Thanks, baby. 220 00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:57,837 Oh. 221 00:08:57,839 --> 00:08:59,305 Ooh, I gotta go. 222 00:08:59,307 --> 00:09:00,273 The invitations are ready. 223 00:09:00,275 --> 00:09:01,241 The party's for a bunch 224 00:09:01,243 --> 00:09:02,408 of environmentalists, 225 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:03,943 so I found a guy downtown 226 00:09:03,945 --> 00:09:05,245 who makes biodegradable party invitations 227 00:09:05,247 --> 00:09:08,214 that can also be used as toilet paper. 228 00:09:08,216 --> 00:09:10,183 That's how I'm gonna use mine. 229 00:09:10,185 --> 00:09:12,469 Why in the world do you care so much 230 00:09:12,471 --> 00:09:14,254 whether Marshall works at GNB? 231 00:09:14,256 --> 00:09:15,755 Care? I don't care. 232 00:09:15,757 --> 00:09:17,524 I'm like, whatever. Marshall who? 233 00:09:17,526 --> 00:09:20,160 He's stupid. Hershel's way better. 234 00:09:20,162 --> 00:09:22,095 Okay, Barney, is it possible that 235 00:09:22,097 --> 00:09:24,297 with everything that's gone on with your dad lately, 236 00:09:24,299 --> 00:09:26,299 you might have some unresolved abandonment issues 237 00:09:26,301 --> 00:09:27,934 you're transferring onto Marshall? 238 00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:29,102 Oh! Ugh! 239 00:09:29,104 --> 00:09:30,636 You are worse than my shrink. 240 00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:33,506 "Barney, we have to talk about your father." 241 00:09:33,508 --> 00:09:36,142 "Barney, I'm not going to teach you how to hypnotize people. 242 00:09:36,144 --> 00:09:37,610 You'll only use it for evil." 243 00:09:37,612 --> 00:09:39,762 "Barney, I am not going to conduct a couples session 244 00:09:39,764 --> 00:09:41,080 "between you and this woman. 245 00:09:41,082 --> 00:09:42,248 She's obviously a prostitute." 246 00:09:42,250 --> 00:09:44,217 I don't need this! 247 00:09:44,219 --> 00:09:46,703 Ah, Lily Aldrin, 248 00:09:46,705 --> 00:09:48,655 half of the world's most perfect couple! 249 00:09:48,657 --> 00:09:50,557 I was thinking about that woman's mouth comment, 250 00:09:50,559 --> 00:09:52,025 and I have three good comebacks. 251 00:09:52,027 --> 00:09:54,827 Your mom didn't seem to mind it last night on her... 252 00:09:54,829 --> 00:09:56,429 Okay, look, Ted, I need a favor. 253 00:09:56,431 --> 00:09:58,681 Would you mind driving out to Kennedy with me 254 00:09:58,683 --> 00:10:01,167 to pick up this famous ecologist for Marshall's fund-raiser? 255 00:10:01,169 --> 00:10:03,169 Apparently, he only speaks Spanish. 256 00:10:03,171 --> 00:10:04,637 And you speak Spanish, right? 257 00:10:09,243 --> 00:10:11,277 Perfect. Let's go. 258 00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:14,747 Hey, Marshall, it's me. 259 00:10:14,749 --> 00:10:16,866 Listen, I know I've been kind of a jerk 260 00:10:16,868 --> 00:10:18,017 about your leaving GNB. 261 00:10:18,019 --> 00:10:20,153 I just wanted to call and say I'm sorry. 262 00:10:20,155 --> 00:10:22,388 No apologies necessary. We're good. 263 00:10:22,390 --> 00:10:25,124 Good. Um, hey, any chance you might maybe... 264 00:10:25,126 --> 00:10:26,993 I don't know... if you're not busy, 265 00:10:26,995 --> 00:10:29,028 uh, want to have lunch today? 266 00:10:29,030 --> 00:10:31,864 Oh, buddy, I'd love to, but I can't. 267 00:10:31,866 --> 00:10:32,999 Oh, that's cool. 268 00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,434 No biggie. 269 00:10:34,436 --> 00:10:36,636 Another time. 270 00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:57,290 Oh, my God! 271 00:10:57,292 --> 00:11:00,026 How long have you been there? 272 00:11:00,028 --> 00:11:01,694 You don't remember? 273 00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:04,964 Hey. I was in the neighborhood. 274 00:11:04,966 --> 00:11:06,633 I just wanted to check in on you. 275 00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:09,168 You seemed, um, you seemed really upset the other day. 276 00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:10,703 Oh, no, I'm fine. 277 00:11:10,705 --> 00:11:13,790 Okay. Well, um, you want to go grab some lunch? 278 00:11:13,792 --> 00:11:17,910 Sure. Hey, are you okay if I invite Marshall to join us? 279 00:11:17,912 --> 00:11:19,145 Yeah. 280 00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:23,299 Right. 281 00:11:23,301 --> 00:11:25,451 So, um... 282 00:11:25,453 --> 00:11:27,253 Chinese? 283 00:11:29,023 --> 00:11:31,324 You know, just because Zoey and I 284 00:11:31,326 --> 00:11:33,993 are a different kind of couple than you and Marshall 285 00:11:33,995 --> 00:11:35,761 doesn't make us a worse couple. 286 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:38,815 You're right. 287 00:11:38,817 --> 00:11:42,785 I-If you and Zoey are happy, then who am I to judge? 288 00:11:42,787 --> 00:11:45,705 I'm so sorry. 289 00:11:45,707 --> 00:11:49,409 Oh, my God, is that how support feels? 290 00:11:49,411 --> 00:11:52,612 It's so warm and wonderful. 291 00:11:52,614 --> 00:11:54,714 Oh, Lily, I've been so unhappy. 292 00:11:54,716 --> 00:11:55,982 But I thought 293 00:11:55,984 --> 00:11:57,450 you liked being challenged. 294 00:11:57,452 --> 00:11:59,052 Nobody likes being challenged! 295 00:11:59,054 --> 00:12:01,754 Couldn't she agree with me just once, even on something little, 296 00:12:01,756 --> 00:12:03,356 like... like what movie to see 297 00:12:03,358 --> 00:12:05,591 or-or what topping to get on our pizza 298 00:12:05,593 --> 00:12:07,794 or... oh, I don't know, my lifelong dream 299 00:12:07,796 --> 00:12:10,897 of building a skyscraper in New York City?! 300 00:12:10,899 --> 00:12:12,899 Well, in her defense, hamburger pizza, Ted? 301 00:12:12,901 --> 00:12:14,934 What are you, 12? 302 00:12:14,936 --> 00:12:16,903 You were right, Lily. 303 00:12:16,905 --> 00:12:19,906 I mean, Zoey's great, but... sometimes I do wish 304 00:12:19,908 --> 00:12:23,660 we were a little more like you and Marshall. 305 00:12:25,312 --> 00:12:28,247 TED There he is. Here we go. 306 00:12:37,358 --> 00:12:38,458 I'm sorry. 307 00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:40,159 I don't speak... 308 00:12:40,161 --> 00:12:42,661 whatever it is you're speaking. 309 00:12:43,497 --> 00:12:45,164 Um, he speaks perfect English. 310 00:12:45,166 --> 00:12:46,349 Yeah, I-I know. 311 00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:47,700 Then why 312 00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:49,302 did you ask me to come? 313 00:12:49,304 --> 00:12:51,904 So you can drive him to the fund-raiser. 314 00:12:51,906 --> 00:12:53,473 Supporting Marshall this much 315 00:12:53,475 --> 00:12:54,840 is driving me crazy. 316 00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:57,543 I'm going to Spain... my flight leaves in 45 minutes. 317 00:12:57,545 --> 00:12:58,611 Adios, 318 00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,813 muchacho. 319 00:13:03,411 --> 00:13:06,544 W-Wait, what do you mean you're going to Spain? 320 00:13:06,658 --> 00:13:08,742 You were right. If I hear myself say 321 00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:11,161 "Baby, you have my full support" one more time, 322 00:13:11,163 --> 00:13:13,013 I swear I'm gonna murder someone! 323 00:13:14,065 --> 00:13:16,332 What are you gonna tell Marshall, huh? 324 00:13:16,334 --> 00:13:18,902 And when are you coming back? I honestly 325 00:13:18,904 --> 00:13:21,905 haven't thought it all the way through, and I don't intend to. 326 00:13:21,907 --> 00:13:24,858 All I know is that I'm a ticking time bomb, 327 00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:27,010 and if I don't do something for me right away, 328 00:13:27,012 --> 00:13:29,946 I swear I'm gonna explode! 329 00:13:29,948 --> 00:13:32,649 Wow, tha... that's an evocative metaphor to use 330 00:13:32,651 --> 00:13:35,085 for your nonthreatening, totally patriotic emotions. 331 00:13:35,087 --> 00:13:36,420 U.S.A.! 332 00:13:36,422 --> 00:13:38,188 Okay, Lily, I get it. 333 00:13:38,190 --> 00:13:39,623 Marshall's been asking a lot lately. 334 00:13:39,625 --> 00:13:42,859 But the thing to do is-is tell him you've had enough. 335 00:13:42,861 --> 00:13:44,294 I've never been good at that. 336 00:13:44,296 --> 00:13:46,463 And now, ever since his dad died, 337 00:13:46,465 --> 00:13:50,033 I-I feel like it's my job to just be fine with everything. 338 00:13:50,035 --> 00:13:51,201 But I'm not. 339 00:13:51,203 --> 00:13:52,335 I'm not fine that 340 00:13:52,337 --> 00:13:54,337 he volunteers our apartment for a giant fund-raiser 341 00:13:54,339 --> 00:13:56,056 and that he's not thinking about 342 00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:57,808 how we're gonna pay any of our bills 343 00:13:57,810 --> 00:13:59,042 and that, apparently, 344 00:13:59,044 --> 00:14:02,879 we've given up on trying to have kids. 345 00:14:02,881 --> 00:14:04,881 Lil... 346 00:14:04,883 --> 00:14:07,901 Look, I'm sorry, Ted, I just, I gotta do this. 347 00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:11,188 My bag? 348 00:14:11,190 --> 00:14:13,457 Oh, no. I got it. 349 00:14:15,660 --> 00:14:16,960 There's nothing to talk about. 350 00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:18,495 You trashed your office today. 351 00:14:18,497 --> 00:14:20,030 I mean, you obviously have 352 00:14:20,032 --> 00:14:21,932 some deep feelings you're not confronting. 353 00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:23,934 And I think they're about your dad. 354 00:14:23,936 --> 00:14:26,303 I don't want to talk about it, okay? Why not? 355 00:14:26,305 --> 00:14:28,872 Because I don't. And why am I explaining this to you? 356 00:14:28,874 --> 00:14:30,624 You're the most secretive person I know. 357 00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:32,542 You never tell anybody anything. 358 00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:37,380 I've never... told anyone this before. 359 00:14:38,683 --> 00:14:40,050 Um... 360 00:14:40,052 --> 00:14:42,085 I was 16. 361 00:14:42,087 --> 00:14:45,055 I was awakened around midnight 362 00:14:45,057 --> 00:14:46,990 by the sound of my father 363 00:14:46,992 --> 00:14:51,294 arguing with his business partner, Andy Grenier. 364 00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:53,263 As things grew heated... 365 00:14:53,265 --> 00:14:57,267 I watched my father's hand slowly coil 366 00:14:57,269 --> 00:15:00,871 around the heavy antique clock on his desk. 367 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:06,143 The sun was just starting to rise 368 00:15:06,145 --> 00:15:09,412 over the bramble orchard as we packed the fresh earth down 369 00:15:09,414 --> 00:15:11,414 with the flats of our shovels. 370 00:15:11,416 --> 00:15:12,816 My dad and I 371 00:15:12,818 --> 00:15:14,851 got our stories straight. 372 00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:18,522 We walked back to the house in silence and... 373 00:15:18,524 --> 00:15:21,725 haven't talked about it since. 374 00:15:22,727 --> 00:15:24,961 But sometimes... 375 00:15:24,963 --> 00:15:27,597 on a still night... 376 00:15:27,599 --> 00:15:30,000 you can still hear that clock, 377 00:15:30,002 --> 00:15:31,668 ticking... 378 00:15:31,670 --> 00:15:33,303 ticking... 379 00:15:33,305 --> 00:15:34,838 ticking. 380 00:15:36,707 --> 00:15:38,475 That's... 381 00:15:38,477 --> 00:15:42,245 the most harrowing story I've ever heard. 382 00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:43,747 Is it true? 383 00:15:43,749 --> 00:15:45,882 No. 384 00:15:45,884 --> 00:15:48,718 But it did get you to drink three scotches, 385 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,354 which is why you're ready to spill your guts. 386 00:15:51,356 --> 00:15:52,822 Fine! 387 00:15:52,824 --> 00:15:56,626 The reason I'm upset about Marshall leaving GNB 388 00:15:56,628 --> 00:16:00,664 is... is... 389 00:16:00,666 --> 00:16:02,299 Hey. 390 00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:06,870 ...the meatball sub. 391 00:16:06,872 --> 00:16:07,837 Huh? 392 00:16:07,839 --> 00:16:09,606 It all started months ago 393 00:16:09,608 --> 00:16:11,441 in the GNB commissary. 394 00:16:11,443 --> 00:16:13,376 It was Meatball Sub Day. 395 00:16:13,378 --> 00:16:15,779 Oh, how I used to love 396 00:16:15,781 --> 00:16:17,030 Meatball Sub Day. 397 00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:21,084 And then, the most humiliating moment of my life. 398 00:16:21,086 --> 00:16:23,486 Hey, buddy, I think you got a tiny little bit 399 00:16:23,488 --> 00:16:25,455 of marinara sauce on your tie there. 400 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:33,797 I plotted my revenge for weeks. 401 00:16:33,799 --> 00:16:35,582 But nothing seemed right. 402 00:16:35,584 --> 00:16:37,567 Then it hit me. 403 00:16:37,569 --> 00:16:40,837 The answer was so elegant and simple... 404 00:16:44,008 --> 00:16:47,227 an exploding meatball sub. 405 00:16:49,647 --> 00:16:51,881 For months, I experimented. 406 00:17:03,861 --> 00:17:07,197 More... marinara sauce. 407 00:17:08,082 --> 00:17:11,101 Finally, the sub was perfected. 408 00:17:11,103 --> 00:17:12,902 The plan was in place. 409 00:17:12,904 --> 00:17:15,472 The snare was baited. 410 00:17:15,474 --> 00:17:17,240 And then... 411 00:17:17,242 --> 00:17:19,909 he quit, Robin, he quit! 412 00:17:19,911 --> 00:17:20,877 It's Meatball Sub Day 413 00:17:20,879 --> 00:17:22,078 today, which is why 414 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,130 I wanted Marshall to come over and have lunch. 415 00:17:24,132 --> 00:17:25,215 But no. 416 00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:27,083 All that work wasted. 417 00:17:29,388 --> 00:17:33,857 You want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, right? 418 00:17:35,092 --> 00:17:37,761 What is wrong with you? 419 00:17:39,063 --> 00:17:41,031 Hey, Professor Rodriguez, 420 00:17:41,033 --> 00:17:42,332 thank you so much for coming. 421 00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:43,433 Oh, my pleasure. 422 00:17:43,435 --> 00:17:45,068 I have to use the restroom. 423 00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:46,836 Do you have some extra invitations? 424 00:17:46,838 --> 00:17:48,338 Right over there. 425 00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:49,506 Enjoy. 426 00:17:49,508 --> 00:17:51,291 Hey. Hey, thanks for picking him up. 427 00:17:51,293 --> 00:17:53,326 Yeah, absolutely. Um, listen, 428 00:17:53,328 --> 00:17:56,046 something happened at the airport. Um... 429 00:17:56,048 --> 00:17:57,447 What? Well, 430 00:17:57,449 --> 00:17:59,132 we got there, and, uh, Lily... 431 00:17:59,134 --> 00:18:00,783 Lily... 432 00:18:00,785 --> 00:18:01,785 Marshall, hey. 433 00:18:01,787 --> 00:18:03,720 Sorry, I, uh, I had to park 434 00:18:03,722 --> 00:18:05,639 and-and grab some ice. 435 00:18:05,641 --> 00:18:06,723 Sorry. 436 00:18:06,725 --> 00:18:08,124 Oh, thanks, babe. 437 00:18:08,126 --> 00:18:10,727 You would not believe how much this one has done 438 00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:12,128 to help throw this party, Ted. 439 00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:13,730 I don't know how she does it. 440 00:18:13,732 --> 00:18:16,399 Can't be easy, huh, Lil? 441 00:18:17,902 --> 00:18:19,736 Yeah. Listen, Marshall, 442 00:18:19,738 --> 00:18:21,938 I-I need to talk to you about something. 443 00:18:21,940 --> 00:18:23,506 No, you know what? Me, too. 444 00:18:23,508 --> 00:18:25,075 Um... I want to thank you 445 00:18:25,077 --> 00:18:27,410 for being so supportive of me in all this. 446 00:18:27,412 --> 00:18:29,479 I've been at the NRDC for less than a week, 447 00:18:29,481 --> 00:18:31,348 and I've already done more to be proud of 448 00:18:31,350 --> 00:18:33,516 than in two years at GNB. 449 00:18:33,518 --> 00:18:35,885 I can't believe how good it feels. 450 00:18:36,787 --> 00:18:39,673 But now, it's time for me to find a way 451 00:18:39,675 --> 00:18:41,891 to help the Earth and get paid for it, 452 00:18:41,893 --> 00:18:44,728 because I can't put that burden entirely on you. 453 00:18:44,730 --> 00:18:46,162 So, starting tomorrow, 454 00:18:46,164 --> 00:18:48,498 I'll look for something with a paycheck. 455 00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,566 What do you think? 456 00:18:49,568 --> 00:18:52,719 Baby, you have my full support. Oh... 457 00:18:53,637 --> 00:18:55,372 Ted. 458 00:18:56,273 --> 00:18:57,407 Hey! 459 00:18:57,409 --> 00:18:59,876 What are you doing here? This is really important 460 00:18:59,878 --> 00:19:02,345 to Marshall, so I came to show my support. 461 00:19:02,347 --> 00:19:04,381 This you can be supportive of?! 462 00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:06,282 What is that supposed to mean? I have 463 00:19:06,284 --> 00:19:07,650 the chance to build a skyscraper 464 00:19:07,652 --> 00:19:09,986 in the best city on Earth, and who's the one 465 00:19:09,988 --> 00:19:11,654 leading the charge to kill that dream? 466 00:19:11,656 --> 00:19:12,872 My girlfriend! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 467 00:19:12,874 --> 00:19:15,191 What about my lifelong dream of not seeing 468 00:19:15,193 --> 00:19:17,127 every beautiful building in Manhattan bulldozed? 469 00:19:17,129 --> 00:19:20,296 And in that moment, I realized, though I really cared 470 00:19:20,298 --> 00:19:23,166 about Zoey, I couldn't do this for the next 50 years. 471 00:19:23,168 --> 00:19:25,068 I had to break up with her. 472 00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,336 But then... 473 00:19:26,338 --> 00:19:31,591 ♪ I will remember you ♪ 474 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:35,228 ♪ Will you remember me... ♪ 475 00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:37,147 Kids, some couples always support each other, 476 00:19:37,149 --> 00:19:39,416 and some couples always challenge each other, 477 00:19:39,418 --> 00:19:42,051 but is one really better than the other? 478 00:19:42,053 --> 00:19:44,020 Yes. Support is better. 479 00:19:44,022 --> 00:19:45,955 Way better. 480 00:19:45,957 --> 00:19:48,942 But I'd have to learn that the hard way. 481 00:19:50,890 --> 00:19:53,428 You're too young. This isn't fair. 482 00:19:53,538 --> 00:19:54,771 We're not going anywhere, buddy. 483 00:19:54,773 --> 00:19:56,606 We're gonna stay here right till the end. 484 00:19:56,608 --> 00:19:57,807 Thank you, Marshall. 485 00:19:59,911 --> 00:20:01,211 Marshall... 486 00:20:01,213 --> 00:20:02,345 can I ask 487 00:20:02,347 --> 00:20:04,514 one final favor, my friend? 488 00:20:04,516 --> 00:20:07,450 Yes, of course, of course... anything. 489 00:20:08,886 --> 00:20:11,688 Eat this meatball sub. 490 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,024 Wh-Where'd you get a meatball... 491 00:20:14,026 --> 00:20:16,793 I don't have much time! Okay, yes, yes, of course. 492 00:20:16,795 --> 00:20:18,645 Of course. 493 00:20:20,399 --> 00:20:23,566 Does this have some sort of special meaning? 494 00:20:29,807 --> 00:20:33,009 I'm not sick, you idiots! 495 00:20:33,011 --> 00:20:35,812 I've racked up $30,000 of uninsured medical bills 496 00:20:35,814 --> 00:20:37,614 for symptoms I don't even have. 497 00:20:37,616 --> 00:20:38,748 Totally worth it! 498 00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:41,000 You should see the look on your face. 499 00:20:41,002 --> 00:20:44,454 Oh, wait, you can't... 'cause it's covered in marinara sauce! 500 00:20:47,708 --> 00:20:49,659 Uh, Barney, you got a little marinara 501 00:20:49,661 --> 00:20:51,327 on your pajamas. 502 00:20:56,903 --> 00:21:00,403 == Sync by elderman == Corrected by Addic7ed.com www.addic7ed.com